Intangibles

This year has absolutely flown by at such a ridiculously fast pace that, at times, it is very hard to keep my head above water!

I feel like I say this every year but this truly has been the busiest year ever for us at Linx. So many happy couples, countless new clients (quite a few high profile individuals), incredible press (generated proudly with no publicist or PR agent), fascinating creative projects, and much more.

This week we are conducting screenings for one of our Silicon Valley VIPs and are super excited to be meeting a select handful of lovely women who have qualified. Our client wants us to be able to really determine if each “finalist” has that “it” factor and obligatory intangibles that are required for the long-term.

We help our clients define their list of intangibles when we first talk to them about their ideal match. To give you some sense of the depth we go with our clients, I want to take you through a simpler but illustrative exercise that aims to prepare you for 2014 regarding your hopes and personal goals. Start now and get ahead of the curve. tumblr_lvj0spreen1qhz76vo1_500

Take an hour in the next couple of days to write down (on a piece of paper) the top 5 intangibles that your dream match would have.

You might now be googling “intangible.” Go ahead and Google it to see what comes up as step one. Step two in my exercise is to think about people that you have met in your life that really just STOOD out and nearly *zapped* you like a thunderbolt because of their chemistry/energy… their magnetism that drew you in, somehow, some way…for whatever reason. tumblr_m8twxeTdbR1r4d8ljo1_5002

As you start to think about this person, do not limit my exercise to be about someone towards whom you have necessarily felt romantic. Instead, create a neutral slate where this person could be literally anyone you have ever had the pleasure of getting introduced to whether for business, academics, friendship, through your travels, family, volunteering, etc. For the purpose of this exercise I do think it is helpful to choose someone of the opposite sex. So if you are a female think about any man who somehow impacted you even on the smallest level. And for the men reading, think of any female (again this does not have to be romantic) who left an indelible impression (even if a very distant one). If your mind is leading you to your mom or dad, that might be telling.

If you are having trouble thinking of that person, take a break and come back to the exercise. Frankly you might have your “a ha” moment when you are least expecting it….driving to work, shopping for weekly groceries and all of a sudden you have your person. Excellent! Once you have selected one or maybe more than one person take the piece of paper and pen and begin to write down what you think were some of the qualities that impressed you the most. Why has this person left an imprint on your life? Was it that he/she was particularly gregarious? Compassionate? Curious? Sharp? Tender? Loyal? Devoted? Analytical? Ridiculously funny? Creative? Spiritual? Family oriented? Tenacious? Decisive? Nurturing? Stocksy_txpc00193e7nd1000_Small_23845

Once you have penned your list of, say, 5 adjectives that stood out, you are well on your way to creating the core ingredients that you need to find in a dream match for the long haul. These essentials are most likely the intangibles most key in your dream match. Even if you didn’t realize it until now, this could be what you have been missing in the search for the love of your life. It is very hard to find all of those qualities in one person so I’d like for you to extract just TWO that you cannot live without. Once you have two intangibles, keep those super glued to you as you date.

This exercise is also designed to focus you a bit more to better vet the men/women you date (especially if you are doing high volume online dating in conjunction to everything else you are doing to meet people). If you can tell he/she does not have those TWO intangibles from the start…move on. In conclusion, by doing this exercise you will start dating with a heightened perspective and keen awareness that most do not have. You are officially ahead of the curve and on a fast track to a bright 2014.

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