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Exclusive Linx Event November 15th

Linx is hosting a private exclusive networking mixer on November 15th in Menlo Park. Invite only and a who’s who attending from the Bay Area and Los Angeles as well.

This event has incredible sponsors involved and is about dynamic networking, conversation, and meeting like-minded professionals, many of whom are single and searching. Linx events are legendary and are not to be missed.

If you are single and would like to be considered as a guest of this cocktail party, please email Amy amy@linxdating.com

 

What Linx members are saying….

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” Let’s all admit it, online dating is broken, at least if you’re looking for love!  The paradox of choice (swiping until your thumb gives out), ephemeral attention spans, and asynchronous communication have led to a disconnect between the need for companionship and the ability to find it.

 
The solution? Linx Dating! Think of Amy as your great aunt who introduces you to people, except Amy is young and has a better understanding of what you may want. Of course, Linx has been featured in national and international media. This doesn’t mean Amy is inaccessible. Quite the contrary. She’s accessible, warm, thoughtful, and compassionate.

 
Amy has a number of memberships and non-membership options for her exclusive matchmaking service. Nobody likes to admit they are single, but here I am, single. A friend recommended I reach out to Amy to have me in her database for eligible bachelors. Amy asked me thoughtful questions and vetted me.  This is important with her clientele who are educated (either formally or informally), successful, and looking for a serious relationship.

Don’t expect a list of 50 people in the next day. Remember the jam study! (Briefly, people went to the grocery store and saw 30 different kinds of jam or 5 different kinds of jam. Guess who was more likely to buy jam and LIKE the jam they brought. The ones who saw only 5 kinds of jam!).
I’ve been introduced to three of Amy’s clients. While i haven’t found the love of my life yet, I think I’m most likely to get there through the personalized and well thought out introductions by Linx Dating.”

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“I have had the opportunity to work with Amy for over a year.  She has been amazing. I initially came to her after months of frustrating experiences on dating apps and meeting men through friends of friends.  I had no trouble finding dates, but time and time again, I found that the men I met were simply not serious about being in a long term relationship.  This would not have bothered me as much in my 20s, but now into my 30s this was becoming painful.

From the very first time I met Amy, she was supportive and genuinely wanted to get to know me in order to find someone I could truly connect with. It was clear from the very beginning that she was interested in much more than just helping me create a “profile” of my accomplishments in the way that dating apps encourage. She spent time reflecting with me about the patterns of my previous relationships in order to help clarify what worked and what didn’t.

Shortly after we met, Amy began setting me up with men she had carefully matched. At every step of the process, she would check in with me about how things were going.

When I eventually met someone, Amy was full of encouragement and we eventually parted ways since I was initially very happy with the person I was dating.

Unfortunately, the relationship I got into began to unravel 6 months later.  When it ended, I took some time for myself to recover.  The break up was painful, but when I eventually recovered Amy was my first call.  She responded right away and we reconnected shortly thereafter. She helped me process my experience and think carefully about how this changed my feelings about finding another partner. Once we reassessed, Amy again began to pair me with men she thought would be good matches.

I am still just getting back on my feet again with meeting new people, but thanks to Amy’s help things are off to a promising start. I am so deeply grateful for her guidance. I recommend her to the highest!” 

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“I’ve been a Linx client for the past year and a half — and I have nothing but positive things to say about Amy & the team.  This review is based on my actual experience as a (paying) client.

There are a few key things that you should know:  

*  BOTH men and women pay to be a part of Amy’s network, so there’s a level of commitment on both sides that just doesn’t exist with other services.  When Amy connects you with someone, you take them seriously.  

*  Amy’s screening process is extremely thorough.  She really dives into what you’re looking for, really gets to know you, and really puts thought into the folks she connects you with.  She asks questions that cover both the superficial and deeper down (say what you will, but both matter in dating!).  For example – one of the getting-to-know-you tasks is to assemble both a scrapbook of photos of people (anyone) you find attractive AS WELL AS photos of people you’ve dated.  Amy wants to see the spread between what you imagine you want and what you’ve actually shown attraction to — that’s key and clever.

* Everyone uses her!  Critical mass / network effect is so important with a matchmaker — you can be confident that you really are getting into a pool of like-minded people.  I signed up after independently asking 3 different friends (guys and girls) how they met their significant others, and all said “Oh, this awesome matchmaker named Amy Andersen.”  So the network is great.

*  The Linx process saves a ton of time.  The social proof begins right at the start — Amy tells you that you’re going to like this person.  Amy tells the other person that they’re going to like you.  Neither of you are going to flake (or face the wrath of Amy).  You know the other person is vetted.  They know you’re vetted.  This literally saves weeks in the traditional dating process of un-returned texts/calls, cancellations, changed-minds, etc.  You can be assured that at least the first date is going to be a good one.  And if there’s no chemistry, well, so be it, but that’s up to you 🙂

Anyway – that’s it.  It’s worth the $$, it’s worth the time.  

(PS – I ended up dating the FIRST person Amy set me up with for a year.  So there ya go.)”

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“I have known Amy — the heart and soul of Linx — for almost 20 years now. I have worked with her on and off throughout the years, and while I have never used her dating services (I am happily married), I feel that I know her well and I highly recommend working with her.

Amy is tireless. Of all the people I know, both professionally and personally, Amy is the most enthusiastic about her career. She loves what she does and it shows in the quality of her work and the volume of her successes, including an impressive number of marriages for her clients and their matches.

Amy has integrity. When she gives her word, she keeps it. If she makes an error — a rarity, I have found — she owns up to it and makes it right.

And Amy is connected. Amy’s been helping Bay Area and even international professionals find love for 15 years so her list of contacts is a mile long. So while I’m not “in the biz”, if you have very specific criteria for whom you’re looking for, Amy probably knows the perfect person for you.”

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“I attended a mixer hosted by Amy with Linx Dating and she was the perfect host. The atmosphere was pleasant and everyone who attended was very friendly. If you are on the dating scene and looking to meet the perfect match, Amy is definitely the person you need to “Linx” up with.”

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“I submitted my information and while I am not a premium member paying fees, Amy Andersen reached out about man and wanted to see if I would be amenable to meeting her client. We met and had a great time. What I appreciated was being considered for a match and having had the chance to meet a high quality man who shares many of my foundation values from faith to family life.”
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“I never actually became a client at Linx because the incredibly thoughtful CEO of the company encouraged me to pursue a local company in my hometown. Remarkably, even though she had no incentive (financial anyhow) to help me, she helped me pursue the other local service. She provided guidance, direction, and support along the way; and I eventually did sign with a similarly-minded local company. We exchanged a number of emails over a number of months. I found Amy to be incredibly professional, warm, and kind–and surprisingly accessible given her position in the company. I am entirely happy with the referral she gave me for a local matchmaking service she’s collaborated with before.

Amy was like a matchmaking fairy godmother to me as I contemplated taking the financial and emotional plunge of signing on with a service. She had no other incentive to do it other than wanting me to be happy and to get what I want. I never would have taken the plunge without her thoughtful, individualized guidance. For that reason, I would highly recommend Linx to anyone truly looking for a meaningful partnership. The woman in charge emanates warmth, caring, know how, and savvy. I’m sure it characterizes the rest of the company, too.”

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“I know there’s someone wonderful out there for me. I thought I would try Linx by seeking a professional to help me find the love of my life. Needless to say I’m not disappointed and I cannot say enough good things about Linx Dating. As far as the quality of Linx and the caliber of their clients as well as my interactions with the matchmaker herself Amy. 🙂

I found the website user friendly, easy to navigate, and extremely easy to submit information and pictures of myself. I was quickly matched to a wonderful man that I enjoyed spending time with. I cannot say enough wonderful things about him and what a great guy he is.

The caliber of the clientele compared to online dating has far exceeded my expectations. Amy has already done all the tedious, pre screening, love matching work. You will not be disappointed.

I cannot say enough wonderful things about Amy. She has an amazing talent in matching souls and putting love together. Amy is quick to respond. She thoroughly interviews, face times, all while making you feel comfortable, as if you were two friends having a conversation. She knows how to handle busy professionals allowing flexibility and alternative forms of live face to face conversations, text, and email. Amy asks little to nothing in return and only wants to assist us in finding love and happiness.

I highly recommend Amy and Linx dating. You won’t be disappointed and you will never return to regular online dating websites.”

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“Finding the love of your life can seem like an endless search, with ups and downs. The Linx process was professional, detailed, considerate, and very enjoyable. It was the third match that worked like a charm- where chemistry was firing in all directions.
I ended up proposing in 2011 to my beautiful soul mate and we got married in Fall 2017 Fall of 2017!  Amy even helped with my proposal planning making it seamless and thoughtful at Cavallo Point in Marin.
We are so blessed to have been matched and wouldn’t have ever met if it was not for this unique dating network. For anyone who wants to be introduced to quality, genuine men and women all of whom have been carefully vetted by Amy, this is an  excellent alternative to online dating and dating apps!”
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350 dates in one year….what not to do on your next date!

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An interesting piece of feedback I hear from a lot of men and women who juggle working with a professional matchmaker, and dating apps, is how often their respective dates almost brag about how many people they date. This is a major “no no” when it comes to dating 101.

A friend I had a conversation with the other day mentioned that one man she is interested in, told her last year alone, he had over 350 dates with women. She chalked it up to being a Silicon Valley “data driven” type but the truth is, it’s not only daunting to imagine but a turn-off. 350 women! Who on earth has time for that unless unemployed and loving the hamster wheel lifestyle, yet with no real purpose or intention to settle down with one person?

My advice is not to talk about how much you have been dating recently. I think part of the psychology behind what fuels someone to mention all the dates they go on and people they meet is to showcase how desirable one is to the opposite sex. As in, the more I mention to him all the men that are emailing me for dates, the more he will think I am attractive.

The reality is, most of the time, if you share these conquests of sorts, you will appear as though you are not serious about finding a relationship. Instead, you’re in what I call “play mode” and not “serious mode.” There’s no denying play mode is awesome but be supremely careful with the information that comes out of your mouth and the image you project on dates. If you want to be taken seriously, you need to play the game right.

My advice is to focus on the man or woman who is sitting across from you on your date and show genuine interest in them. Be present, intentional, and motivated to find the right match with the “perfect” chemistry that works for you. If your date pokes around to see if you are actively dating and appears curious to hear stories, simply “don’t go there.” No need to lie or fabricate the truth but you can delicately switch topics with grace and dignity, while focusing on your date and not entering the slippery slope that is “TMI.”

Are we too old for games? Research sheds some light on playing hard to get

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No one likes to admit that he or she plays games; why would anyone cop to something so juvenile or immature? But, what if there were some real data that supported game play? One of the most frequently played games—playing hard to get—describes the act of feigning disinterest in a potential mate to increase the mate’s interest. Honing this type of game was the basis of New York Times’ controversial bestseller for women, The Rules. It’s also described in The Game, a how-to guide for any budding pick up artist. Despite the manipulative undertone, could these old school tactics and strategies help us find love? Researchers Peter Jonason and Norman Li spearheaded the study on college campuses to find the answer.

 

To determine effects of availability on desire, 270 heterosexual students were shown three dating profiles all similar save for the profiled person’s availability. When asked which profile would be the best choice for casual sex, both women and men preferred a partner with high availability. Without having to determine emotional or mental compatibility, singles need only to notice physical attraction—a determination that can be made without more than a glance. Without having to account for a future, singles can skip the process of determining sustainability.

 

On the other hand, singles seeking dating or a serious relationship, preferred moderate to scarce availability. Those with minimal availability are displaying greater independence and are less inclined to commit to a single partner without due diligence—all positive attributes of a future partner.

 

Availability didn’t just affect the type of relationship, it also influenced how likely the students were to invest actual resources in the profile. When participants were asked which restaurant they would take the low, medium, and highly available profiles to—fast food, casual, or luxe—the low availability candidates were most likely to get the luxe meal.

 

Those who play hard to get have two motives: firstly, to drive desirability of their potential mate but also to test just how committed the potential mate is to a longer term relationship. For anyone seeking a relationship, this sounds like the perfect recipe. But, is it?

 

In another study by Jayson Jia, Xianchi Dai, and Ping Dong, results revealed that playing hard to get only works if there is already some semblance of romantic interest. If someone is not interested in you to begin with, it is highly unlikely that they invest more effort in “acquiring” the person. If, however, someone shows interest in something more than a fling, playing hard to get is a way to demonstrate that you have other options, a characteristic of singles in high demand. If you start playing hard to get right off the bat, your plans to drive interest could backfire. Instead, approach potential mates with a friendly, social demeanor. As these researchers concluded, “Playing easy to get always yields more positive affective evaluations of liking, regardless of the degree of prior psychological commitment.”

 

So, how can you play hard to get in a way that isn’t manipulative? Here’s the answer: You don’t need to. If you cultivate a life with people you enjoy and activities that hold your interest, you will need to schedule time for a date instead of being available at a moment’s notice. If you find yourself coming on too strong, switch the mentality. Instead of playing hard to get, be more discerning. Give your potential partner a chance to show you who he or she is before revealing your interest.

 

VIP Couple Testimonial

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“The first time I heard about Amy was back in 2011 when a friend and Stanford classmate of mine asked me to attend a holiday Link and Drink event with her in the city. I decided to attend the event with a few female friends. I had previously never been to a matchmaking casual event and did not know what to expect, but left the night having met a few interesting friends.

A year or so had passed, and I was still in the midst of founding my startup from Stanford, so I was quite busy with fundraising and entrepreneurship. Since I did not have much time to go out to many events, and more importantly, since I believed in Amy and in her well-regarded reputation in the Valley, I decided I would sign up to be an official client in the beginning of 2013. Shortly after joining, I met with Amy and her colleague and they went through a detailed questionnaire and interview process with me. Amy then set me up on one date- a good guy but ultimately not my soul mate. Afterwards, and mostly since at that time I was too focused with my company, I decided to put her services on a pause until my work schedule cleared up a bit.

In 2016, she reached out to me to meet a potential VIP client. By then, I was very much ready to be in a happy long-term relationship and build a family as my startups had matured and I felt it was the right time in my life. I decided to give her match a chance as he sounded like a great potential fit in the description.

And I’m sure glad I gave him a chance, and listened to Amy. As the match and I got to know each other, we realized we were soulmates searching for each other this whole time. It may sound cliché, and I did not know that these phenomena can occur outside of movies, but it was truly love at first sight. The more time we spent together, the deeper became our love and adoration for each other. We were compatible from all aspects of life, including our similar cultures, our dreams and goals in tech, our visions in how we would raise a family, and more importantly, our outlook on the everlasting power of true love. I am happy to say that it is through Amy that I found the love of my life, and I cannot thank her enough for bringing my soulmate and I together. Since him and I lived in different geographical locations, we would have never been able to meet without Amy connecting us.

My soulmate and I are now happily married, and expecting our first child in the coming months. Amy is an angel for bringing us together. I highly recommend placing your trust, time, and patience with Amy, as she is highly capable of finding the perfect match. She is the reason my husband and I met each other, and I cannot wait for her to meet our little one soon. My husband and I cannot thank Amy enough for bringing us together and helping form our growing family. She really does make magical dreams come true.”

-30-something Stanford University educated entrepreneur

 

Working with a Matchmaker | The Linx Difference

If you are stumbling upon this site and blog for the first time and unsure of what it is like to work with a professional matchmaker, look no further.

Let’s begin with that Linx Dating is. Linx is an offline boutique curated dating and social network located in the heart of Silicon Valley.  Founded by Amy Andersen in 2003, Linx has now been matching high caliber, relationship-minded Bay Area professionals for more than a decade.

A couple of general misconceptions stem around our demographic and that we just focus on matching wealthy older men and young women under 30 OR much older women with young men aka “cougar” dating.

Often prospects have read active searches on the Linx website and conclude because some of these select profiles describe representing young women that we must not work with women over 30. The reality is we represent many women of all ages from 20’s to 70’s.

We do know how the “cougar” concept happened and that was from being part of a feature story on Linx in Vanity Fair.  Linx is responsible for creating truly a social phenomenon in Silicon Valley at the iconic Rosewood Sand Hill Hotel and the legend continues years later. It seems like everyone has heard about the hotel and the dazzling Thursday night scene. It was all from one mixer Linx hosted at the hotel that the social scene EXPLODED with popularity and then truly became worldwide news after the VF story published.

Though our current focus remains on San Francisco and Silicon Valley, we represent eligible men and women across the U.S and around the world.  In fact, it is not uncommon for our clients to request that we conduct nationwide (and sometimes even global) searches as we help them in their quests to find true love. We represent a select handful of international VIP clients who reside across the Middle East, Europe, and Asia. These clientele include CEOs, founders, prominent public figures, financiers, and members of royal families.

Beyond being a matchmaking firm, Linx is also a robust network of highly educated Silicon Valley professionals.  If you are new to Silicon Valley or the Bay Area and would like to make connections in a given industry or sector, this is a great way to network and expand your connections. In fact, though dating is our specialty, some of our most unexpected success stories have come from countless platonic social and business connections that can trace their origins to the broader Linx network.

The Linx Difference

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Linx works exclusively with college-educated nonsmokers (in fact, roughly 75% of our clients have pursued graduate-level education) and we pride ourselves on meeting each and every member of the Linx network in person.  Our vetting process is significant, and all Linx clients complete at least one interview as well as significant “homework” as we get to know more about them, their goals, and what they hope to find in their next relationship.

There are no complex matching algorithms at Linx but there is a comprehensive proprietary database and a human brain (Amy Andersen) that has interviewed every single one of the thousands of people in the database. In the style of Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink, Amy has a highly developed sense of pattern recognition and intuition around people and what potential matches will work and those which are less likely to succeed. We are also a very small team; our clients are not handed off to junior staff or assistants once we decide to work together.  Our approach to matchmaking is team-based, and remains so for the duration of our relationship.

Though Linx has been fortunate to receive regular inbound requests for interviews and other media coverage, we neither advertise nor retain a PR firm – we take tremendous pride in staying away from buying up expensive ads in glossy magazines and airline publications to market ourselves.  We simply do our jobs well, as the vast majority of new clients come to us through referrals from past and current clients.

Our clients also appreciate our discreet approach to matchmaking, and value the importance we place on their privacy.  Client confidentiality is a core value at Linx, and we take the unusual step of not maintaining a cloud-hosted database.  It may seem like an unnecessary measure to some of our clients, but it’s definitely a source of comfort for others.

Linx is also unusual in that our matchmaking process is done client-to-client.  We represent both men and women as clients, which is rare in an industry that tends to focus on men.  We find that the successful, well-educated men of Linx appreciate and value that women are equally committed to this process, and also financially invested; when both parties approach an introduction with equal gravity, they tend to have greater respect for each other, and are more open to the possibilities that can result.

Happy New Years!

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Happy New Years and to a festive celebration wherever you might be in the world! We are so excited to kick off 2016 with gusto, passion, momentum, and what is appearing to be a very booked calendar ahead of appointments.

2015 was a spectacular year filled with so many exciting moments- lots of dynamic clients, many successfully paired couples, weddings, engagements, and babies born from Linx matches! One amazing VIP client in particular met his match in October and got engaged in November! He knew shortly after their first date she was the one for him.

I thought I would share an email from a VIP client in LA that just landed in my inbox today.

“I want to thank you for being in my life. You’ve introduced me to some of the most incredibly awesome women I have met so far in my life, and though I haven’t found “the One” yet, you are my best hope. I really appreciate you always keeping an eye out for me – and sometimes, I wish I just lived in NY or SF. Still, it’s been so rewarding working with you that I feel our final answer is just around the corner – and perhaps in the year that is just about getting ready to start.”

On that note, we have tons of new active searches that are up on the Linx site and will be continuing to add new ones to the website throughout January.  For the females reading this, take a look here at some of our most desirable bachelors and for the single guys reading this, check out some of our most eligible bachelorettes here.

Here’s to an incredible 2016 ahead and look forward to connecting with you all in person, through email or by phone.

XO,

Amy