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Introducing VIP 10….

We are thrilled to announce a new VIP search for a self-made world class gentleman who embodies the proverbial tall, dark, and handsome. At 6’1”, he has a lean athletic build from his collegiate swimming days and now fulfills his competitive spirit surfing and winter skiing all over the world.  

He left his investment banking job at twenty-four, looking like a seventeen year-old, to start his own company which he sold seven years later, and has been retired since.  But he certainly has not sat still, doing everything from earning his masters at an Ivy League university to making award-winning movies.  This qualifies him as the youngest forty-two year old in the world!

All of that said, his most meaningful and important success is his scholarship program – every year he selects a new scholar- insanely brilliant but completely without resources- to attend boarding school and then supports college, room and board, grad school, and beyond. Our client didn’t just write the check to endow the program- he’s actively involved throughout the students’ journeys and education. His first scholar attended Harvard and is currently thriving in medical school. They have known one another since the scholar was thirteen, and to say she’s become an extraordinary part of our client’s life would be an understatement. 

Although our VIP owns homes in two major metropolises on both U.S. coasts, he now spends the majority of his time at his estates in the rocky mountains and sunny seaside Mexico. If you meet him, your first date with him is more likely to take place in a beautiful snowy mountain town, or at an oceanside table on the tip of the peninsula. 

At home you’ll find him relaxing with his rescue terrier, playing the guitar and piano, singing poorly, and preparing for his next outdoor adventure. He loves traveling and real estate – obsessed with everything Japanese, although his favorite museums are the Prado and l’Orangerie – and eating, visiting his favorite Michelin star restaurants and holes-in-the-wall, although these are forced to compete with his private chef’s fresh organic daily menu. He’s very social and loves hosting and entertaining his family and friends from near and far at his retreats, and has a flair for the extemporaneous. With his friends and in a relationship, welcoming your friends, too, you might be playing poker, watching movies or World Cup soccer, relishing the great outdoors, reading, or jetting off to some remote destination for more colorful adventures. 

He believes life is far too short, stays in the present, trying to make the most of every moment, and lives to seize the day. People that meet this VIP tell him they have never met anyone like him before. He neither fits a mold nor subscribes to societal dictates – he lives the life he wants and certainly has created a hugely impactful one for those in his orbit. He’s not the type of guy to get upset when faced with life’s inevitable challenges; instead, he’s quite stoic when something goes wrong outside of somebody’s control.  He’s a big believer in laughing to ward off stress, remaining open-minded, and meditation- a little Wim Hof breathing – doesn’t hurt either. 

This man is a very private person, though an open book to his loved ones, and looks forward to welcoming yours into the close-knit clan. Although he loves putting on his tuxedo for the right event, galas aren’t really his thing; he’s more a stimulating smaller dinner party kind of person. He’s decidedly a no-drama kind of guy and looking for the same. He doesn’t do well with people who take themselves too seriously in all facets of life – work or play. 

Our client is best suited to meet someone extraordinary. Philosophically, age doesn’t matter, in that the characteristics he cares most about – intelligence, kindness, creativity, silliness, honesty, and many others – are properties that are not necessarily correlated with age. You don’t get more intelligent, more honest, or more kind as you age – generally between nature and nurture, as you reach adulthood, these characteristics are set. People can change, but an honest person is an honest person at any age. An extraordinarily brilliant person is an extraordinarily brilliant person at any age. Physically, his ideal match is slender, smaller boned, fit, with gorgeous feminine curves and of any ethnic background – and who doesn’t worry about putting on makeup.  

Beyond her physical beauty, she possesses a razor sharp wit, incredible intelligence, creative passion, and is incredibly kind, sweet, silly… and guileless. At her core, she is a good person and, in a relationship, she is loving and sweet – snuggly and someone our client won’t want “to let go of.”  Profession doesn’t matter to him; brains and passion do.  And, for suitability purposes, a work-from-anywhere job would be ideal.  Our client wants the person who aced her college entrance exams, was accepted everywhere she applied, and made a choice that was best for her, not necessarily for her resume. 

Like our client, she is family oriented and loves children. She dreams of having her own family one day with little ones running around and the room filled with laughter. His dream match is a warm, nurturing, and genuinely caring person. During the courtship phase, she is willing to travel to meet our client at his various properties and would eventually relocate for love and commitment.  

If you or anyone you might know could qualify as a candidate to meet this dynamic VIP, please submit your information here. There are NO fees for qualified candidates to meet our client.

Since VIP 10 loves music and playing music, in closing, I thought I would post some super chill music that I enjoy listening to for background music mostly when I am trying to get through my inbox. Kygo did this piano composition that’s soulful and satisfying to me when you want to relax.

Philanthropic Silicon Valley gentleman seeks like-minded family centric and charitably minded match for a lifetime of adventure!

Our client is a marriage minded 35 year old Asian American intellectual, standing at 5’9” with an athletic build, black hair, and brown eyes. Ever thoughtful and still a big dreamer, his background, current success, and future plans are all quite extraordinary. Family has been immensely important to him at all stages of his journey, raising him to value education and work ethic, supporting him in his current endeavor as founder of an incredibly ambitious and risky tech startup, and finally being his primary motivation to pursue philanthropy and bring economic opportunities to all people by investing in their education.

Our client grew up in the suburbs of Southern California with hard-working parents, a younger sister, and a younger brother. He immediately found himself adapting to fit into multiple different subgroups including overachievers, athletes, weirdos, and Chinese-first language speakers, which has influenced him to highly value open-mindedness to this day. A balance between strict tiger parenting styles from the East and more individualistic and encouraging styles from his teachers trained in the West, built him into the highly successful and balanced man he is today. 

Immediately after graduating with his bachelor’s in computer science from a top California school, he started his career as a software engineer and things really started to pick up. He hatched a plan 8 years ago and is still executing it: get some early stage startup experience and financial buffer (done), start his own company, and finally use the accumulated resources to “retire” into a life of philanthropy to help end poverty and bring about an egalitarian society by empowering all people with a quality education they can use to build their own livelihood. 

His motto in life is that he is “earning to give” – earning money to eventually give back to society one day. Very few people think like this – especially in Silicon Valley where greed, power, and material wealth are the currency that fuels the economy for many “keeping up with the Joneses” types. 

Outside of work, our candidate has fun too. He generally prefers the outdoors and athletic activities such as gravel biking and backpacking throughout California’s beautiful natural scenery, basketball, and archery at local indoor and outdoor ranges. He has also traveled to six continents and never found a cuisine he doesn’t like. Even after nearly being a victim of ATM theft in Cape Town, he sat down at a restaurant to enjoy traditional African cuisine including fried Mopane worms (caterpillars) which he found very chewy and meaty! Ultimately, spending time with friends and family is more important to him than the particular activity, so he frequently joins them for live shows, museums, and crafts as well. 

His dream match is between the ages of 26-35 years old, feminine, with a healthy athletic physique, and medium to long hair. He’s open to all races and backgrounds but leans towards Asian American and Caucasian. 

His future wife would be best described as his partner in life. She’s probably at the intersection of extroversion and introversion, very sharp and intelligent, and yet with a self-awareness.  She’s worked hard to get to where she’s at professionally and academically and perhaps could be considered “gritty” and industrious. If something isn’t working, she’s going to come up with a unique solution- she’s a good problem solver. Our client dreams of meeting a powerful female in her career who’s kicking butt and paving the way for other “alpha” women.

Her family, relationship with loved ones, and friends are core to her existence. Friends can rely on her and although she’s busy with her profession, she’s the type of person that would bring chicken soup over to a sick friend. 

Values are extremely important to her and she can envision a shared path of giving back to society with her future husband one day. The foundation and philanthropy that high profile individuals like Bill and Melinda Gates have created with so much impact provide inspiration to dream and think big about what a shared vision of charity really means. 

It should be noted, our client has not been married, does not have any children and looks forward to both in his life soon. He hopes for a big family and would love to meet a woman who is excited to be a loyal wife and amazing mother to raise their children together! 

If you or anyone you might know could qualify as a candidate to meet this incredible VIP, please submit your information here. Please note, there are NO fees for qualifying candidates to meet our client. Thank you so much!

Linx Featured in Modern Luxury’s Dynamic Women Issue

Linx is recruiting single females who were born and raised in Russia for a dynamic entrepreneurial client…

We are looking for single females who are based in Silicon Valley. She should be single and completely unattached.

She is between 28-38 years old, physically fit and leading a healthy active lifestyle.

5’0″-5’5″, preference for 5’3″. She is natural in her appearance. Little to no make-up or emphasis on designer logo clothing and such.

Must have been born and raised in Russia. Our client wants to be able to relate to his partner- culturally, language, shared outlook, and mentally.

Friends and family would describe her as: positive, easy-going, kind, compassionate, logical, smart, humorous, curious, erudite, and open-minded.

Professionally, she is passionate about her career and someone who’s reached success in her life. Ideally she works in the sciences, art, investments, tech, etc. Maybe she’s a bold entrepreneur or founder.

Some of her hobbies and interests might include: the arts, sports, science, innovations, history, travel, reading, social impact, ecology, family, cooking.

She’s been waiting to meet her dream partner and wants her own biological child(ren).

Turns offs for our client- lazy, materialistic, not curious, not kind, doesn’t want children.

If you or anyone you know might make a match for our mystery VIP, please email Amy at: amy@linxdating.com

There are no fees for this opportunity.  

10 Ways to Feel Happy in 5 Minutes…

My good friend, Michelle Pender, over at Compass, who is a top real estate broker in San Francisco, sent me this email which I think is terrific- especially during the pandemic. Michelle shares….

Stress is a constant factor for many people. However, with the right tools, those who feel stressed can create a better mentality in just a few minutes. While five minutes may seem like an insignificant amount of time to reduce stress, these activities can positively impact mental health.

  • Crank the tunes. Take a brain break and blast your favorite feel-good song as you walk or go for a drive.
  • Go outside. A few minutes of fresh air can help clear your head and give you a new perspective. 
  • Try something new. Shake up your routine; this can be as simple as walking down a different street, anything to get your mind off autopilot, and be present.
  • Spend money. According to Harvard professor Mike Norton, the trick is you have to spend it on someone else to get the ‘feel good’ perks. (My Favorite)
  • Text a friend. Reaching out to someone and telling them how awesome they are will make you feel fabulous. 
  • Make plans. Having something to look forward to, like dinner with a friend, can make a person giddy. Remember, anticipation is a secret weapon of happiness. 
  • Help someone. A quick way to pick yourself up is to do something kind for someone else. It’s a bonus when it’s random and not expected of you.
  • Do something. Whether it’s sending an email or clearing out the clutter, getting one thing off your to-do list gives you a huge mental sigh of relief.
  • Say, “thank you.” A small act of gratitude goes a long way and will boost your positivity. 
  • Think positive thoughts. No matter how bad things may seem, always be grateful. Warm water on a cold day? Amazing! Coldwater on a sunny day? Incredible! You are fortunate when you get right down to it. 

These ten quick methods can help bring positivity to a person in a relatively short time. Try one or more to recharge and lift your spirits the next time you feel overwhelmed or sad.

For anyone who is looking for a new, happy home in San Francisco, Michelle Pender is your resource! Not only is she incredibly personable and friendly but she is a Bay Area native. She knows the city beyond well and especially caters to the quaint neighborhood of Noe Valley. Her Instagram is wonderful and she does these unique videos sent to her followers on Fridays with tailored tips for first time home buyers and insider ideas about the real estate market in general. Her Instagram can be found here.

4 Easy Techniques for Dealing with Anxiety During COVID-19 and a Message from Linx Founder

Robin Farmanfarmaian is a professional speaker, entrepreneur, and angel investor, focusing on cutting-edge healthcare and biotech companies poised to impact 100M patients. She put together this excellent 5 minute video to provide 4 powerful techniques to help cope with anxiety during uncertain times. We want to empower you all with the skills necessary to feel mentally strong during these challenging times in our world.

I want all readers to know that if you are feeling scared, isolated, and very alone- please reach out to me. I am here to talk to you in a loving and non-judgmental way and will do so happily anytime. You can email me personally at: amy@linxdating.com.

Furthermore, if anyone is reading this and is paralyzed by the anxiety brought on by losing a job and not being able to provide for yourself and/or your family and cannot put food on the table, I will try to help you to the best of my abilities. This is not a time to feel embarrassed or ashamed. It is a time to remember we are ALL HUMAN and in this together.

Stay healthy, strong, and well.

Warmly,

Amy Andersen

Exclusive Linx Event November 15th

Linx is hosting a private exclusive networking mixer on November 15th in Menlo Park. Invite only and a who’s who attending from the Bay Area and Los Angeles as well.

This event has incredible sponsors involved and is about dynamic networking, conversation, and meeting like-minded professionals, many of whom are single and searching. Linx events are legendary and are not to be missed.

If you are single and would like to be considered as a guest of this cocktail party, please email Amy amy@linxdating.com

 

What Linx members are saying….

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” Let’s all admit it, online dating is broken, at least if you’re looking for love!  The paradox of choice (swiping until your thumb gives out), ephemeral attention spans, and asynchronous communication have led to a disconnect between the need for companionship and the ability to find it.

 
The solution? Linx Dating! Think of Amy as your great aunt who introduces you to people, except Amy is young and has a better understanding of what you may want. Of course, Linx has been featured in national and international media. This doesn’t mean Amy is inaccessible. Quite the contrary. She’s accessible, warm, thoughtful, and compassionate.

 
Amy has a number of memberships and non-membership options for her exclusive matchmaking service. Nobody likes to admit they are single, but here I am, single. A friend recommended I reach out to Amy to have me in her database for eligible bachelors. Amy asked me thoughtful questions and vetted me.  This is important with her clientele who are educated (either formally or informally), successful, and looking for a serious relationship.

Don’t expect a list of 50 people in the next day. Remember the jam study! (Briefly, people went to the grocery store and saw 30 different kinds of jam or 5 different kinds of jam. Guess who was more likely to buy jam and LIKE the jam they brought. The ones who saw only 5 kinds of jam!).
I’ve been introduced to three of Amy’s clients. While i haven’t found the love of my life yet, I think I’m most likely to get there through the personalized and well thought out introductions by Linx Dating.”

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“I have had the opportunity to work with Amy for over a year.  She has been amazing. I initially came to her after months of frustrating experiences on dating apps and meeting men through friends of friends.  I had no trouble finding dates, but time and time again, I found that the men I met were simply not serious about being in a long term relationship.  This would not have bothered me as much in my 20s, but now into my 30s this was becoming painful.

From the very first time I met Amy, she was supportive and genuinely wanted to get to know me in order to find someone I could truly connect with. It was clear from the very beginning that she was interested in much more than just helping me create a “profile” of my accomplishments in the way that dating apps encourage. She spent time reflecting with me about the patterns of my previous relationships in order to help clarify what worked and what didn’t.

Shortly after we met, Amy began setting me up with men she had carefully matched. At every step of the process, she would check in with me about how things were going.

When I eventually met someone, Amy was full of encouragement and we eventually parted ways since I was initially very happy with the person I was dating.

Unfortunately, the relationship I got into began to unravel 6 months later.  When it ended, I took some time for myself to recover.  The break up was painful, but when I eventually recovered Amy was my first call.  She responded right away and we reconnected shortly thereafter. She helped me process my experience and think carefully about how this changed my feelings about finding another partner. Once we reassessed, Amy again began to pair me with men she thought would be good matches.

I am still just getting back on my feet again with meeting new people, but thanks to Amy’s help things are off to a promising start. I am so deeply grateful for her guidance. I recommend her to the highest!” 

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“I’ve been a Linx client for the past year and a half — and I have nothing but positive things to say about Amy & the team.  This review is based on my actual experience as a (paying) client.

There are a few key things that you should know:  

*  BOTH men and women pay to be a part of Amy’s network, so there’s a level of commitment on both sides that just doesn’t exist with other services.  When Amy connects you with someone, you take them seriously.  

*  Amy’s screening process is extremely thorough.  She really dives into what you’re looking for, really gets to know you, and really puts thought into the folks she connects you with.  She asks questions that cover both the superficial and deeper down (say what you will, but both matter in dating!).  For example – one of the getting-to-know-you tasks is to assemble both a scrapbook of photos of people (anyone) you find attractive AS WELL AS photos of people you’ve dated.  Amy wants to see the spread between what you imagine you want and what you’ve actually shown attraction to — that’s key and clever.

* Everyone uses her!  Critical mass / network effect is so important with a matchmaker — you can be confident that you really are getting into a pool of like-minded people.  I signed up after independently asking 3 different friends (guys and girls) how they met their significant others, and all said “Oh, this awesome matchmaker named Amy Andersen.”  So the network is great.

*  The Linx process saves a ton of time.  The social proof begins right at the start — Amy tells you that you’re going to like this person.  Amy tells the other person that they’re going to like you.  Neither of you are going to flake (or face the wrath of Amy).  You know the other person is vetted.  They know you’re vetted.  This literally saves weeks in the traditional dating process of un-returned texts/calls, cancellations, changed-minds, etc.  You can be assured that at least the first date is going to be a good one.  And if there’s no chemistry, well, so be it, but that’s up to you 🙂

Anyway – that’s it.  It’s worth the $$, it’s worth the time.  

(PS – I ended up dating the FIRST person Amy set me up with for a year.  So there ya go.)”

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“I have known Amy — the heart and soul of Linx — for almost 20 years now. I have worked with her on and off throughout the years, and while I have never used her dating services (I am happily married), I feel that I know her well and I highly recommend working with her.

Amy is tireless. Of all the people I know, both professionally and personally, Amy is the most enthusiastic about her career. She loves what she does and it shows in the quality of her work and the volume of her successes, including an impressive number of marriages for her clients and their matches.

Amy has integrity. When she gives her word, she keeps it. If she makes an error — a rarity, I have found — she owns up to it and makes it right.

And Amy is connected. Amy’s been helping Bay Area and even international professionals find love for 15 years so her list of contacts is a mile long. So while I’m not “in the biz”, if you have very specific criteria for whom you’re looking for, Amy probably knows the perfect person for you.”

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“I attended a mixer hosted by Amy with Linx Dating and she was the perfect host. The atmosphere was pleasant and everyone who attended was very friendly. If you are on the dating scene and looking to meet the perfect match, Amy is definitely the person you need to “Linx” up with.”

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“I submitted my information and while I am not a premium member paying fees, Amy Andersen reached out about man and wanted to see if I would be amenable to meeting her client. We met and had a great time. What I appreciated was being considered for a match and having had the chance to meet a high quality man who shares many of my foundation values from faith to family life.”
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“I never actually became a client at Linx because the incredibly thoughtful CEO of the company encouraged me to pursue a local company in my hometown. Remarkably, even though she had no incentive (financial anyhow) to help me, she helped me pursue the other local service. She provided guidance, direction, and support along the way; and I eventually did sign with a similarly-minded local company. We exchanged a number of emails over a number of months. I found Amy to be incredibly professional, warm, and kind–and surprisingly accessible given her position in the company. I am entirely happy with the referral she gave me for a local matchmaking service she’s collaborated with before.

Amy was like a matchmaking fairy godmother to me as I contemplated taking the financial and emotional plunge of signing on with a service. She had no other incentive to do it other than wanting me to be happy and to get what I want. I never would have taken the plunge without her thoughtful, individualized guidance. For that reason, I would highly recommend Linx to anyone truly looking for a meaningful partnership. The woman in charge emanates warmth, caring, know how, and savvy. I’m sure it characterizes the rest of the company, too.”

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“I know there’s someone wonderful out there for me. I thought I would try Linx by seeking a professional to help me find the love of my life. Needless to say I’m not disappointed and I cannot say enough good things about Linx Dating. As far as the quality of Linx and the caliber of their clients as well as my interactions with the matchmaker herself Amy. 🙂

I found the website user friendly, easy to navigate, and extremely easy to submit information and pictures of myself. I was quickly matched to a wonderful man that I enjoyed spending time with. I cannot say enough wonderful things about him and what a great guy he is.

The caliber of the clientele compared to online dating has far exceeded my expectations. Amy has already done all the tedious, pre screening, love matching work. You will not be disappointed.

I cannot say enough wonderful things about Amy. She has an amazing talent in matching souls and putting love together. Amy is quick to respond. She thoroughly interviews, face times, all while making you feel comfortable, as if you were two friends having a conversation. She knows how to handle busy professionals allowing flexibility and alternative forms of live face to face conversations, text, and email. Amy asks little to nothing in return and only wants to assist us in finding love and happiness.

I highly recommend Amy and Linx dating. You won’t be disappointed and you will never return to regular online dating websites.”

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“Finding the love of your life can seem like an endless search, with ups and downs. The Linx process was professional, detailed, considerate, and very enjoyable. It was the third match that worked like a charm- where chemistry was firing in all directions.
I ended up proposing in 2011 to my beautiful soul mate and we got married in Fall 2017 Fall of 2017!  Amy even helped with my proposal planning making it seamless and thoughtful at Cavallo Point in Marin.
We are so blessed to have been matched and wouldn’t have ever met if it was not for this unique dating network. For anyone who wants to be introduced to quality, genuine men and women all of whom have been carefully vetted by Amy, this is an  excellent alternative to online dating and dating apps!”
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350 dates in one year….what not to do on your next date!

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An interesting piece of feedback I hear from a lot of men and women who juggle working with a professional matchmaker, and dating apps, is how often their respective dates almost brag about how many people they date. This is a major “no no” when it comes to dating 101.

A friend I had a conversation with the other day mentioned that one man she is interested in, told her last year alone, he had over 350 dates with women. She chalked it up to being a Silicon Valley “data driven” type but the truth is, it’s not only daunting to imagine but a turn-off. 350 women! Who on earth has time for that unless unemployed and loving the hamster wheel lifestyle, yet with no real purpose or intention to settle down with one person?

My advice is not to talk about how much you have been dating recently. I think part of the psychology behind what fuels someone to mention all the dates they go on and people they meet is to showcase how desirable one is to the opposite sex. As in, the more I mention to him all the men that are emailing me for dates, the more he will think I am attractive.

The reality is, most of the time, if you share these conquests of sorts, you will appear as though you are not serious about finding a relationship. Instead, you’re in what I call “play mode” and not “serious mode.” There’s no denying play mode is awesome but be supremely careful with the information that comes out of your mouth and the image you project on dates. If you want to be taken seriously, you need to play the game right.

My advice is to focus on the man or woman who is sitting across from you on your date and show genuine interest in them. Be present, intentional, and motivated to find the right match with the “perfect” chemistry that works for you. If your date pokes around to see if you are actively dating and appears curious to hear stories, simply “don’t go there.” No need to lie or fabricate the truth but you can delicately switch topics with grace and dignity, while focusing on your date and not entering the slippery slope that is “TMI.”

Are we too old for games? Research sheds some light on playing hard to get

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No one likes to admit that he or she plays games; why would anyone cop to something so juvenile or immature? But, what if there were some real data that supported game play? One of the most frequently played games—playing hard to get—describes the act of feigning disinterest in a potential mate to increase the mate’s interest. Honing this type of game was the basis of New York Times’ controversial bestseller for women, The Rules. It’s also described in The Game, a how-to guide for any budding pick up artist. Despite the manipulative undertone, could these old school tactics and strategies help us find love? Researchers Peter Jonason and Norman Li spearheaded the study on college campuses to find the answer.

 

To determine effects of availability on desire, 270 heterosexual students were shown three dating profiles all similar save for the profiled person’s availability. When asked which profile would be the best choice for casual sex, both women and men preferred a partner with high availability. Without having to determine emotional or mental compatibility, singles need only to notice physical attraction—a determination that can be made without more than a glance. Without having to account for a future, singles can skip the process of determining sustainability.

 

On the other hand, singles seeking dating or a serious relationship, preferred moderate to scarce availability. Those with minimal availability are displaying greater independence and are less inclined to commit to a single partner without due diligence—all positive attributes of a future partner.

 

Availability didn’t just affect the type of relationship, it also influenced how likely the students were to invest actual resources in the profile. When participants were asked which restaurant they would take the low, medium, and highly available profiles to—fast food, casual, or luxe—the low availability candidates were most likely to get the luxe meal.

 

Those who play hard to get have two motives: firstly, to drive desirability of their potential mate but also to test just how committed the potential mate is to a longer term relationship. For anyone seeking a relationship, this sounds like the perfect recipe. But, is it?

 

In another study by Jayson Jia, Xianchi Dai, and Ping Dong, results revealed that playing hard to get only works if there is already some semblance of romantic interest. If someone is not interested in you to begin with, it is highly unlikely that they invest more effort in “acquiring” the person. If, however, someone shows interest in something more than a fling, playing hard to get is a way to demonstrate that you have other options, a characteristic of singles in high demand. If you start playing hard to get right off the bat, your plans to drive interest could backfire. Instead, approach potential mates with a friendly, social demeanor. As these researchers concluded, “Playing easy to get always yields more positive affective evaluations of liking, regardless of the degree of prior psychological commitment.”

 

So, how can you play hard to get in a way that isn’t manipulative? Here’s the answer: You don’t need to. If you cultivate a life with people you enjoy and activities that hold your interest, you will need to schedule time for a date instead of being available at a moment’s notice. If you find yourself coming on too strong, switch the mentality. Instead of playing hard to get, be more discerning. Give your potential partner a chance to show you who he or she is before revealing your interest.