Matchmaker to Silicon Valley Geeks

Put a ring on it: Engagement ring shopping 101

As you can imagine, the engagement ring will arguably be the biggest part of any proposal- besides her saying “YES!” To help all my favorite bachelor clients blossom into confident grooms, I’ve put together a little cheat sheet.

Finding the perfect stone, band and setting can be tricky, especially when you’ll probably end up shopping alone—WeddingWire’s 2019 Wedding Report shows that only 20% of couples pick out a ring together. So, how can you find the right ring to symbolize your forever commitment? 

Diamonds really are a girl’s best friend

Although any stone can be used for an engagement ring, WeddingWire’s 2019 Wedding Report shows that 71% of engagement rings have a diamond as the main stone. According to the American Gem Society, diamonds have signified union since the 1400’s when Maximilian of Austria proposed to Mary of Burgundy

Sizing

If you’re planning a surprise engagement, purchasing the right ring size will require a little finesse. To save yourself the headache and extra expense of resizing, simply steal a ring that you’ve seen your partner wearing on a ring finger and bring that to the jeweler to measure. Remember, some settings won’t accommodate a change in band size, so do whatever you have to do to make sure you get the size right.

Shape

Most diamond rings are one of ten unique shapes. Although most women prefer the traditional round shaped diamond, others may enjoy something more unusual. According to The Knot, different shapes can represent different personalities.

For example, an emerald cut tends to be more glamorous, the asscher cut suited to a vintage lover, and the marquise more romantic.

In addition to shape, consider the size of your partner’s hand. Pear, marquis, or oval shaped diamonds tend to suit long, slender fingers, whereas round or princess shaped diamonds are better for smaller hands.

Although shape is important, the cut will impact the quality of the diamond the most. Whereas shape is about the geometry of the stone, the cut is about the angles of the facets. 

The 4 C’s: A Matter of Quality

The Gemological Institute of America created the 4Cs to assess diamond quality. Those 4Cs include:

Cut describes how well a diamond’s facets interact with the light. A well cut diamond will sparkle through the top of the stone. Of all the 4Cs, cut is the most complex to analyze since it’s based on 7 factors: brightness, fire, scintillation, weight ratio, polish, symmetry, and durability. Cut is also the most important “C”; even if the remaining 3 C’s are perfect, it won’t matter if the cut isn’t right. 

Clarity describes the cloudiness of the stone. Naturally occurring internal “inclusions” and external “blemishes” can lower the value of the diamond. While no diamond is perfectly pure, the closer it comes, the higher its value. 

As a general rule, try to avoid stones with inclusions on the top and in the middle. These areas have the biggest effect on the way the light passes through 

Color is graded based on how little of it exists. The grading system ranges from D (colorless) to Z (light yellow); white color diamonds are the most popular (and tend to carry more value) but yellow diamonds and even black diamonds have grown in popularity.

Carat describes how much a diamond weighs. Diamond price increases with carat weight, because larger diamonds are more rare and more desirable. But, two diamonds of equal carat weight can have very different values (and prices) depending on the other 4C factors.

Settings and Metal

The setting, which describes how the diamond is placed on the ring, plays a big role in the look and feel of the ring. According to WeddingWire, the setting is the most important feature for women, whereas the quality of the stone is most important to men.

Just like the shape, there are a variety of different settings:

As you can imagine, different settings offer different benefits: The Halo is ideal for those who love a bit more sparkle, the Bezel setting offers a clean and modern look, and the Prong setting can really highlight the beauty of a main stone. 

When it comes to the metal for the band, gold and platinum are generally the most popular choices. Platinum is the most expensive given its purity. It’s also a great hypoallergenic choice for those with sensitive skin. Gold offers more flexibility with colors, including white, yellow, rose and even green.

Get your certificates

Before purchasing, ask to see the grading certificate from a recognized gemological lab like the American Gem Society or the Gemological Institute of America; it’s the best way to ensure that you’re getting exactly what you’re paying for. And, please, please, please insure your ring as soon as you get home!

Meet Our Israeli Bachelor: Recruiting Women Ages 27-47

 

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We are excited to announce a new search. Our intellectual and funny 42-year old Israeli bachelor stands 5’9” with an athletic build, short brown hair, brown eyes, and a kind, warm smile. He has been an attorney for the last 17 years working exclusively with entrepreneurs, startups and venture capitalists.

He grew up in Israel and moved to the US about 9 years ago to get his LL.M degree at an Ivy League. Outside of work, he loves spending quality time with his two children (13 and 11 years old), honing his DJ skills, traveling, dining, attending concerts, and adventures near and far. This candidate has many facets to his personality.

At work, he dresses and acts like a serious corporate attorney, while with friends and family, he’s more casual, relaxed and just himself. Despite his ambitions and responsibilities, he enjoys taking it easy. He is both interested in succeeding in his career and creating a good, fun life for  himself and for those around him.

His best suited match is between the ages of 27-47 years old and of Caucasian, Asian, or Mixed race heritage.  She is feminine, sexy, and social. Our bachelor appreciates entrepreneurial woman who are independent, open-minded, smart, and with a great sense of humor intact. She should appreciate the outdoors, travel (everything from camping to five star accommodations), cooking, children, music, and fun!

If you or anyone you know might make a match for this bachelor client of ours, please email Amy: amy@linxdating.com and tell us a little bit about yourself.

 

Love Line – Your next date is only a ride away!

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As children, we were told to study and practice as hard as we could to accomplish our goals. This is great advice to advance in school and work, but when it comes to love, it’s often serendipity instead of hard work that leads people to their significant others. People always say that they wouldn’t have met their husbands or wives if they hadn’t walked into that elevator, sat next to him or her on that bus, train or plane, or attended that party, conference, or fill-in-the-blank.

When I was a single, career-focused 20-something in San Francisco, I often wondered how I could increase my chances of meeting “the one” during my daily routine. I worked long hours and often only went out on the weekends, limiting the number of new people I encountered each week. Today, single men and women in San Francisco and other major cities can significantly increase their chance of meeting someone by simply sharing their commute with others using services like Uber Pool, Lyft Line and Chariot. My husband and I lived and worked only two blocks from each other, so we may have met one another earlier if we shared our daily commute to the office. Now that these services are available, why wait to meet your better half?

Forget speed dating – step into an Uber Pool, Lyft Line or Chariot, and take a chance on love! Here’s how to maximize your chances of meeting your next date on your next ride:

Uber Pool – Make sure that you have been paired with a member of the opposite sex. If not, cancel the ride and request a new one. Sit next to the person in the back seat instead of in the front seat next to the driver, and strike up a conversation! I rarely encounter someone who doesn’t want to chat, and everyone I have met is nice and interesting. I recently met a good-looking, accomplished British guy in an Uber Pool and set him up with a colleague of mine who I thought would be a perfect match for him, and they hit it off immediately! Even if the guy or girl next to you isn’t a match for you, consider setting them up with a friend.

Lyft Line – Lyft Line is great for meeting people since you actually see their picture before getting in the car, so if the picture doesn’t appeal to you, cancel and request a new one! Lyft Line also often picks up 3 people, which allows you to meet more people at once. Sit in the seat behind the driver so you have a good view of both of the other riders, and check their hands for wedding and engagement rings before asking them out. In general, Lyft Lines are more social and less expensive than Uber Pools, so pick the service that best suits your personality and budget. One Lyft Line passenger let me know that he asked a beautiful rider to be his date for a wedding the next day, and she agreed!

Chariot – Chariot now has 7 different routes to take you to and from work. You can meet new people and save money on your commute in their 15-passenger vans, and you will likely run into people more than once since you’re both commuting to and from the same stops. Put your cell phones and tablets away when waiting for your pickup and look around – are any handsome strangers also waiting for the same bus? When the bus arrives, quickly scan it for the best looking passenger, grab a seat next to them, and ask them a question. An easy option is to ask if the bus stops at your destination, gauge their interest based on their response, and take it from there! A woman I know landed her dream job after sitting next to her current boss on a Chariot ride, and she met her boyfriend during new hire orientation.

The next time you need to go somewhere, close your dating apps and fire up your Uber, Lyft or Chariot apps instead. While riding, smile, maintain a positive attitude, and don’t be shy. Numerous drivers let me know that riders exchange contact information all the time. On your next ride, you may meet your next date, business contact or friend!

Christine is a 30-year-old, Ivy League educated, East Coast transplant in San Francisco.  She believes that the meaning of life is to love and be loved, and she is passionate about volunteering, technology and yoga

Women in Linx | Types of Women We Represent

I am often asked from men what type of women we represent at Linx and when we recruit for these guys (as a VIP client) what the structure of the so called castings are.

A very first step in our admission process is the vetting. I would want to make sure that a prospect of Linx adheres to the standards that Linx represents. Our clients are: well educated (75% have post graduate work completed from top universities), they are all professionals across a very wide range of industries, extremely well-rounded in their hobbies outside of career, dynamic, physically active (keeping healthy, fit, and balanced), and most importantly are commitment and marriage minded. These women are all ages (a huge populations in their 20’s and 30’s, followed by 40-60’s generally). girl5

Just like Stanford, Harvard, or CAL rejects even the most brainy and accomplished applicants, we do have to filter out people who simply are not a good fit for this network.

Those who are not “good fits” could be based on them not being comfortable with the concept of a commitment, not liking the protocol, not leading a healthy lifestyle, or me sensing that she is not ready for true love. Sometimes candidates possess an extreme anxiety about wanting to meet “the one.” If we sense that their energy is too intense and their expectations totally unreasonable (about what they seek in a match and general timeline of getting matched, engaged, and married), we simply won’t work with them. If we did work with that person, she would be supremely unhappy and our magic would be dampened by stress and stifled by pressure.

It should be noted that we are one of the only matchmaking firms that represents females as clients. We have a huge demand for our services with attractive and brainy women. In Silicon Valley and metropolitan regions such as San Francisco, New York City, and Los Angeles, there is no shortage of extremely accomplished professional women who are looking for love and needing help in their personal lives.

Many women also submit their information everyday to meet our VIP clients. We do regular screenings for these hundreds of women who want us to screen them to see if they have that je ne sais quoi that many of our successful VIP gentleman look for in their dream girl.

The structure of the castings is what we call “Mini Meet and Greets.” These are individual appointments that a female who has qualified for the in-person session makes with our team. We do a short in-person screening with her getting to know the candidate and seeing if she is not only adhering to the overarching standards that Linx represents (per the above) but also is importantly very OPEN-MINDED and flexible with her ideal match criteria since she would simply be in the database where matches/introductions occur opportunistically and flexibility is key in order for her to be matched. 09-09-testimonial

The women who submit their info to meet the VIPs can differ from those who are premium clients with respect to career. Some are not “as” successful, “hard charging”, and “Type A” as many of our premium female clients. Our premium female clients (just like the guys) want the exact same success they have achieved professionally yet now in their personal lives. The women who submit info to meet VIPs who qualify are not always MDs, corporate attorneys, and C-level execs. They might very well be teachers, nurses, in PR/marketing, assistants, and a wide range of other careers. That said, there are definitely less ambitious females who are premium clients and alpha females opting for a passive way to participate as well. In conclusion, the Linx network is extremely diverse with respect to every metric involved.

Announcing New Search | 35 Year Old Male | A Blend of East Coast, West Coast, blue collar, academic, and NPR host

We are excited to announce a new search for one of our clients. Here is his statement in a few words…

“I like to tell people I am just an average guy, but my life is pretty awesome. I have built a very successful career for myself in the Bay Area and while I love my job I have reached a place that I can let up on myself a bit. When I’m not working, I am not one of those guys who is into fire dancing or Faberge egg volleyball or some other obscure hobby. I’m usually cooking with/or for friends, studying either a foreign language or history, attempting to keep my self in a shape other than round, collecting too much art, and reading either the Economist and random non-fiction.

I also raise chickens for the eggs, and if that doesn’t work out I can get them to grow to 6 feet tall and pull me around in a chariot through the city. image Chickens in my backyard! foto What’chu lookin’ at? …I’m a chicken in my posh coop…city living at its best.

I can talk about almost anything and I have a broad set of interests outside of my field, and it would be nice to be with someone who shared similar qualities. People often comment that I do not have a mean bone in my body, and I tend to be rather generous. I would like to find a partner that could reciprocate in the same way.

I tend to get along with women who are more East Coast than West Coast, more introverted than extroverted, and have a certain dark/ironic sense of humor. I would like to be with someone who is an adult, in every sense of the word, and we would want to be equals in everything. And, well, I’m looking for something serious that would lead to a lifelong commitment and a family of our own. If you are a bit of an intellectual (I reached the pinnacle of nerd merit badges by completing my Ph.D. in EE) with an unfiltered mouth at times and have a heart of gold at the same time, I think we could be a good fit for one another!

I’m 35 years old, athletic/average build (about 180 pounds) and 5’11”. I love my life in San Francisco and prefer locals but am flexible on meeting a match who is anywhere in the Bay Area.

My ideal match would be between 28-35, height and weight proportionate and wildly intelligent.

I am ready to build a life and a family with the woman of my dreams, or at least not from one of those nightmares you have when you drink coffee too late in the evening. Let’s travel, cook, take in art, play, and be the best of friends…true partners in every sense of the word. Physically- you are keeping active and are sexy in your own way. Confidence always gets me…as do brunettes. image copy My trip to Venice, October 2013

Email Amy: amy@linxdating.com if you might make a match for me.”

Intangibles

This year has absolutely flown by at such a ridiculously fast pace that, at times, it is very hard to keep my head above water!

I feel like I say this every year but this truly has been the busiest year ever for us at Linx. So many happy couples, countless new clients (quite a few high profile individuals), incredible press (generated proudly with no publicist or PR agent), fascinating creative projects, and much more.

This week we are conducting screenings for one of our Silicon Valley VIPs and are super excited to be meeting a select handful of lovely women who have qualified. Our client wants us to be able to really determine if each “finalist” has that “it” factor and obligatory intangibles that are required for the long-term.

We help our clients define their list of intangibles when we first talk to them about their ideal match. To give you some sense of the depth we go with our clients, I want to take you through a simpler but illustrative exercise that aims to prepare you for 2014 regarding your hopes and personal goals. Start now and get ahead of the curve. tumblr_lvj0spreen1qhz76vo1_500

Take an hour in the next couple of days to write down (on a piece of paper) the top 5 intangibles that your dream match would have.

You might now be googling “intangible.” Go ahead and Google it to see what comes up as step one. Step two in my exercise is to think about people that you have met in your life that really just STOOD out and nearly *zapped* you like a thunderbolt because of their chemistry/energy… their magnetism that drew you in, somehow, some way…for whatever reason. tumblr_m8twxeTdbR1r4d8ljo1_5002

As you start to think about this person, do not limit my exercise to be about someone towards whom you have necessarily felt romantic. Instead, create a neutral slate where this person could be literally anyone you have ever had the pleasure of getting introduced to whether for business, academics, friendship, through your travels, family, volunteering, etc. For the purpose of this exercise I do think it is helpful to choose someone of the opposite sex. So if you are a female think about any man who somehow impacted you even on the smallest level. And for the men reading, think of any female (again this does not have to be romantic) who left an indelible impression (even if a very distant one). If your mind is leading you to your mom or dad, that might be telling.

If you are having trouble thinking of that person, take a break and come back to the exercise. Frankly you might have your “a ha” moment when you are least expecting it….driving to work, shopping for weekly groceries and all of a sudden you have your person. Excellent! Once you have selected one or maybe more than one person take the piece of paper and pen and begin to write down what you think were some of the qualities that impressed you the most. Why has this person left an imprint on your life? Was it that he/she was particularly gregarious? Compassionate? Curious? Sharp? Tender? Loyal? Devoted? Analytical? Ridiculously funny? Creative? Spiritual? Family oriented? Tenacious? Decisive? Nurturing? Stocksy_txpc00193e7nd1000_Small_23845

Once you have penned your list of, say, 5 adjectives that stood out, you are well on your way to creating the core ingredients that you need to find in a dream match for the long haul. These essentials are most likely the intangibles most key in your dream match. Even if you didn’t realize it until now, this could be what you have been missing in the search for the love of your life. It is very hard to find all of those qualities in one person so I’d like for you to extract just TWO that you cannot live without. Once you have two intangibles, keep those super glued to you as you date.

This exercise is also designed to focus you a bit more to better vet the men/women you date (especially if you are doing high volume online dating in conjunction to everything else you are doing to meet people). If you can tell he/she does not have those TWO intangibles from the start…move on. In conclusion, by doing this exercise you will start dating with a heightened perspective and keen awareness that most do not have. You are officially ahead of the curve and on a fast track to a bright 2014.

New VIP Search

Our VIP client is a youthful and very successful 46 year old man who is based in the South Bay. He is Caucasian, very fit,  cute, and leads an active, healthy lifestyle by starting his days out doing hot pilates. He’s been married once before and understands commitment.  In fact, he wants to be married again and looks forward to that. He is a father of 2 girls in college and now is in a phase of his life where he is looking for a partner to enjoy life with and have a ton of fun in the process.
He continues to pave the path in his field and maintains a serious discipline in running his highly successful business that he started some 25 years ago. He’s a leader, extremely ambitious, and has a lot of responsibility as CEO of his 125 (+) employee company. Our client also is very involved in investments and real estate development. In other words, our client has a serious business side. He is a well-regarded businessman and isn’t slowing down anytime soon. 81Cu6iYdrUL._SL1500_
When not working, he loves to unwind hot tubbing, over a good meal, playful conversation, or listening to music. He loves playing basketball, watching sports and Bloomberg, and always staying active.  He has his vices like yummy pizza but that is pretty much it for this squeaky clean sort of All-American, sporty guy.
What we admire about our VIP client is that he is very real, down to earth, and funny too. Conversations are unfiltered and honest- there is no game playing in his book and no grey zone. We believe, the right girl will help him slow down and relax. Remember that he’s going a million miles a minute during the day and a good match will creatively figure out how to help him stop in his tracks and smell the roses with her.
His ideal match is someone who is Caucasian, 30-45 years old, petite and slender. 5’4″ is the perfect height and she has a certain energy and charisma about her. She’s sweet, kind, happy, and in a genuine good place to fall in love. Although she is independent and has her own life and career, our client would take care of his match in a heartbeat. In other words, you would be spoiled and if you desire, your man would happily be the breadwinner.
Creative, soulful, passionate, grounded, and healthy are other important words that describe his perfect match. He’d love if you were a fitness nut too and love any chance you can to be outside, active, and healthy. Right now he wants to find his dream partner and develop a loving monogamous relationship with her. He is a new client of Linx and we look forward to hearing from you if you or anyone you know might make a nice match for this guy. Email Amy today amy@linxdating.com

Lessons Learned from Business | Mantras in Dating

I have had quite a few emails from China from a source (with a Western guys name) asking to help in the request of working with a 20-something Chinese girl (based in China) to locate her a Silicon Valley billionaire, yes b as in billionaire. The guy who has been emailing me says he is represented by her family or something like that and I have always suspected that something doesn’t feel right with this whole thing.

One day out of the blue, I got a business contract sent via email to sign a deal with them when I don’t know ONE thing about this girl or her “type”  (let alone any information about her “dating agent”) other than she needs a billionaire because her family is deep in the political scene or some crock of you know what like that.

I ignored that email and then another one came today asking to move forward. I had suggested when I was in Hong Kong back in the Fall that this so called agent for the girl and I meet up at a public spot like a coffee shop in Pacific Place or something like that. He didn’t respond till much later and then said it was because his wife had a baby and he was needing to take care of the baby. Don’t most wealthy “elite” people have help and nannies to be there for the kids?  Even if the agent is not “elite” by Chinese standards, chances are the duty of a mother is to be with the baby and not the father.

My email response today was straightforward telling this guy I am not interested in doing anything with them. I feel the behavior doesn’t add up and net net, it is not ethnical. In other words, no thanks.

On a daily basis, I get so many business requests from media, other aspiring matchmakers to “team up together”, and of course hundreds of inquires from new friends of Linx about being a VIP, meeting a VIP, and much more.

With the constant excitement of running Linx and sheer intensity of what that major responsibility really means, I always remember to go back to “base line” and remember my original business mantras for when I first started my company. I do this to deal with situations like the wacky email from China today.

Be nimble, act decisively, be intelligent, follow your instincts, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself (integrity), forge ahead, be optimistic, be kind, persevere, don’t get caught up in the drama of it all, be compassionate, listen, listen more, and never shy away from saying no.

I say NO a lot at Linx for a variety of reasons. No, this is not a good fit. No, you are not being realistic with your expectations. No, I don’t really think you trust my intuition. No, we actually don’t use algorithms here. No, I don’t have a large staff. No, you are not ready for matchmaking and need some date coaching. No, your outfit if not date worthy.  No, I don’t have the bandwidth to represent you right now. No, I can’t meet after 7:00pm as I am trying to achieve balance in MY life and have a so called “life.”

Last night I received another email from a lovely sounding woman at Stanford asking if I was “for real.” It really caught me off guard wondering WTF. She explained that up to this point, we have only been communicating via email and as such, am I am “legit business.” I was exhausted after a very intense day of VIP client meetings in San Jose, calls, and conducting a mock date in Menlo Park. I wanted to write her and say, “Actually, you called me on my sh*t. I live in Nigeria and this is a total scam.” but I didn’t.

Humor is essential to run a business like Linx. I had to laugh and be like WHAT is she thinking. Sure, she is doing her so called due diligence but seriously? Acting on that initial instinctual response is sometimes not the right thing to do. Like anything in life, let it simmer and wait to respond for at least 24 hours before you do so. Instead of writing something goofy (which even through I felt like doing but never would have actually done), I knew I needed to wait to respond till the next day. Today I will write something sweet and nice explaining how I am not a scam or robot in Africa wiring money into some shell account and instead a little business owner housed on a historic property in Menlo Park. Hasn’t she read any press on Linx? Hmmm.

Life is full of some of the most twisted ironies. The world is also VERY small. This has played out many times this week. I hear and see so much and not to toot my own horn know a lot and know a ton of people. Ex’s couple up with other ex’s of clients, he dated her, she dated him, she had an affair with his friend, the list goes on. Sometimes in hearing all of this, I need to just go in a cave for a bit. Another lesson of being a good business owner is learning to shut off/down at times. Last night after the absolutely good yet taxing day, I simply had to shut off my laptop. Usually at night I am banging out email after email. Saying No to more emails is OK. It allows one to recharge and do the good old reboot if you will mentally. You will be stronger and ready for the next day.

Interestingly, all of these principles and lessons of business ownership apply to your dating.

Be nimble– in dating you need to be resourceful and wise about how you approach the so called scene.

Act decisively– If you say you will go out, go out. Don’t flake on your date. Follow an East Coast attitude that way. New Yorkers don’t make excuses. West Coasters are notorious for wishy washy, flaky behavior.

Be intelligent– About who you choose to date but also when you are on your date. Brush up on all current events and interesting topics to discuss. Men are attracted to a woman who lights up a room because she is confident and smart. Women are attracted to a man who is confident, well versed, and passionate.

Follow your instincts- Especially with online dating if you feel that someone is not authentic in their profile or there is a shadow of doubt in your mind, don’t go out. Through whatever method of dating, if your gut is saying something about your date, follow what your instinct says. Chances are your instincts are correct.

Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself (integrity)- He wants to sleep with you and you aren’t ready but feel the pressure. Tell him to go ‘you know what himself.’ Kidding. Stand up for yourself and say you don’t sleep together unless there is monogamy. Sex aside, if your date puts you in a compromising situation, speaks poorly of others (and you know that is not how you were raised to be), you must have the conviction to stand up for yourself (and in some cases excuse yourself from the date if it is going that poorly and he is just a total pig).

 Forge ahead– Dating can be draining and often frustrating. A series of poor dates can create a hazy attitude and seeing the so called “silver lining” becomes dismal and bleak.  Take a mini break from dating if you are in a rut. After your 2 week “hiatus”, forge ahead and march on.

Be optimistic– some stat I found says that 44% of the adult American population is single. That translates to over 100MM people. Those are a lot of fish in the dating pond. View the pond as a sea and start exploring options today. Also always be an optimist on a date. No one wants to be out with Debbie Downer or Serious Sam. Eeek.

Be kind- to those in your life. Compliment your date. Be kind to the waitstaff. In other words, be a nice person. People are very critical of others especially on first dates. Remember that your date is observing you and watching you. Snapping at the waitstaff, mocking others, or being rude to your date will simply become red flags for your match.  Be someone that others want to be around. Be likable! 

Persevere and don’t get caught up in the drama of it all– When you meet someone right for you, chances are you aren’t going to be asking for all your friends advice. When someone is questionable that you meet, chances are you will be emailing and calling Mom, girlfriends, etc about your date and deconstructing every part of your date.  Everyone always wants to be in each other’s business. Sometimes when it comes to dating, the best thing is to keep your personal life close to you and that is it. Otherwise, everyone will have an opinion and all of a sudden, that can convolute your perception and experience with the person you might like.

Be compassionate- Make a manta to yourself to be empathetic, smile, listen, do small acts of kindness, step into your dates shoes, don’t be judgmental, let your guard down, be vulnerable, admit you are not perfect, be deep, show passion. In other words,  do to others what you would have them do to you.

Listen- “The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” —Ralph Nichols

Listen more- A lot of men and women tell me that they are most impressed when their date later recalls something they said. Focus on your date, put virtual horse blinders on, and listen. Listening and remembering is a huge form of flattery.

Never shy away from saying no– to anything that doesn’t feel right to you when dating.

Ask Linx Anything!

Dear faithful readers,

Although I don’t know most of you personally,  I am thankful that you are reading the blog and hopefully enjoying the random things I post here from Linx HQ. I’d like to get to know all of you better and thus encourage you to comment on any of the entries. Don’t be shy!  And, yes, you can do this anonymously.  I’m going to start a new “ask anything” part of the Linx website where you can submit dating and relationship questions to my inbox and I will answer on the blog, keeping your identity totally and completely anonymous.  So go for it!

Q: ” Amy when is it appropriate to sleep with the guy I am really into?”

A: Although it can be very tempting with hormones firing in all directions, resist that temptation until you are exclusive! If you are serious about love and getting to the goal of marriage in the near future, absolutely wait until you are in an exclusive relationship. 

Our featured song is Enrique Iglesias Tonight I’m Lovin’ You. 

Women make it too easy for guys right and left by having sex  without any sort of commitment. I was horrified, when I was dating in San Francisco, at how casual guys were about sex. “Stay over tonight,” he would say. “Huh?” was my response followed by a “not ’til we are exclusive.”

Guess what? The serious good guys will RESPECT your wishes, beg, and drool like hungry pups waiting for their dinner and the WRONG ones will drive you home that night (thus rejected) saying “ciao bella.”  After he drops you off at home (or hails you a cab or worse yet, you get yourself a cab) chances are he will never call or ask you out again.  Let’s face it, in many ways, you did reject his sexual advance. On the other hand, sister, you are putting your values and needs first, not his testosterone.  

For him, there are so many other girls willing to go downtown and do the horizontal mambo that you can focus on finding the right guy. 

Linx Wardrobe Consult

One of our newest summer bachelors’ has come to us after spending the last several years focusing on his career, traveling and enjoying time with his buddies.

After meeting him and getting to know him – we are thrilled to welcome a kind, intelligent and charming new client to Linx.
Our featured song for this entry is Digital Underground’s Humpty Dance 
We immediately began with the basics – a little wardrobe consultation to align his personal style with his quiet and confident personality.

I had him send over his measurements and clothing preference, from there I visited Neiman Marcus over the weekend and pulled some conservative and tasteful looks for him.
This week, our bachelor arrived to NM to a rack filled with looks (casual day date to a dressier night out on the town look). Guys don’t want to have to think about clothing. Our services make it so easy for them to simply show up and *magic* the work is done!
It’s amazing what a huge difference a few pairs of perfectly fitted jeans, nice button up’s, a couple cashmere sweaters, basic t-shirts, a gorgeous Armani sport coat, light
jacket, and Ferragamo drivers can do! And to top that…what some good tailoring can do! 
It was so much fun watching him transform before our eyes, literally and figuratively! With just a few tips and feedback on his attire – he was truly so happy and excited with his new looks.
A few fall fashion tips for any men out there who would like to get the inside scoop on what women think. 
– Layering is a very sexy look (especially for Fall and Winter.) A nice pair of fitted pants, t-shirt underneath, button up, a nice sweater/cardigan and coat.
– Get creative! Try new colors, patterns, mix and match for a fresh and stylish look!
– A pair of nice casual shoes and one that is dressier.
– Whatever you choose to wear, be sure you are comfortable and aim to look good effortlessly!
-If you aren’t feeling “it”, don’t buy it. You need to be yourself and feel good
about your new look.