Is She Ready to Commit? 7 Questions to Ask Yourself

 

iStock-629605642 copy.jpgShe might be interested, but is she willing to commit? To know for sure is a time-consuming process. Standing by until she’s ready or doing every little thing to change her mind will challenge your patience and sanity. Those loving feelings you have now can snowball into frustration and resentment if your partner’s intentions stay ambiguous. To avoid pursuing a woman who isn’t ready to commit, ask yourself the following questions:

 

  1. Is she emotionally available?

 

Intimacy begins with trust, and wounds of the past can make trusting someone new very difficult. If your partner struggles to communicate her feelings, she might be protecting herself from another heartbreak or letdown. If your partner constantly rehashes stories about her ex, she’s not ready to commit emotionally. As long as she fixates on the demons of her past, she’s still living among them. Over time, she’s more likely to let go of the anger or sadness, but as long as she’s processing, give her time. Your efforts to be her knight in shining armor are impressive, but they won’t be fully appreciated until she’s moved on from the past.  Keep in mind that this one is all about degree – though you don’t want write someone off too quickly, you should also move on if the wounds seem too fresh.

 

  1. Does she want you to be the best version of yourself?

 

Everyone has blind spots; does your partner take time to help you discover and improve the ones that are problematic? If so, she’s showing a willingness to invest in your well-being.

 

Maybe you’ve slipped back into workaholic tendencies. Maybe you’re struggling with aging parents. Whatever it is, it’s a problem you can solve together. You’ll notice her feedback doesn’t feel like criticism. Instead, she spends time figuring out the root cause of the problem in a calm, non-judgmental way. If she’s looking for the best long-term fit, she will want her partner at his best—even if it involves tough conversations.

 

  1. Does she make an effort with your family?

 

Everyone has a couple challenging relatives but, no matter how much we may wish otherwise, they’re still family. A woman who’s interested in a long-term relationship will take them as they are. She’ll let your overly political father vent, she will let your perpetually unemployed brother crash at your apartment, and she won’t hold it against you.

 

If the relationship is casual, she’ll avoid intertwining herself in your life. She might meet your friends, but family requires a different type of effort.

 

A woman who is ready to commit will do her best to make a solid impression. She will help your mom figure out FaceTime. She will spend 45 minutes talking to your dad about his fishing trip. She might have 100 more interesting ways to spend her time, but she wants to cultivate relationships with the people who’ve known you the longest. Because your family is an extension of you, she will make them a part of her life.

 

  1. Does she allude to a future?

 

If commitment is on her mind, she’ll start gauging your interest in future plans. Testing the waters about kids or marriage can be too forward, so listen for softer cues. She might want your thoughts on pet ownership or ask about your lease. If vacation days are numbered, she might ask about holiday plans well in advance.

 

If she’s trying to make long-term plans, she sees you in her future.

 

  1. Does she introduce you to friends?

 

Meeting the friend group is another way she will integrate you in her life. If you’re playing a bigger role in her life, she’ll want her leading ladies to know you. Watch for invites to group outings or impromptu meet ups where she’s already with a close friend. If she’s inviting you to high exposure events like company outings, family gatherings, weddings, she’s also publicly acknowledging that your relationship has legs.

 

  1. Does she want to impress your friends?

 

Just like family, your friends are an extension of you. Because these people are important to you, they are important to her. If she believes that you are the best long-term partner, she’ll want your friends to see her as your best match. Their opinion of her is not something she’ll take lightly. To make a good impression, she might make an extra effort to befriend a colleague’s wife or take initiative to plan a couples’ trip.

 

  1. Does she demonstrate willingness to compromise?

 

When the relationship shifts from an “I” to a “we”, your partner will make decisions differently. Because she’s focused on what’s best for the relationship, her needs are best met when both of you can come to an agreement, even if the outcome is not exactly what she had in mind. If she’s only looking for casual fun, there’s no reason for her compromise. Without a future, there’s no need to make sacrifices.

What Linx members are saying….

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” Let’s all admit it, online dating is broken, at least if you’re looking for love!  The paradox of choice (swiping until your thumb gives out), ephemeral attention spans, and asynchronous communication have led to a disconnect between the need for companionship and the ability to find it.

 
The solution? Linx Dating! Think of Amy as your great aunt who introduces you to people, except Amy is young and has a better understanding of what you may want. Of course, Linx has been featured in national and international media. This doesn’t mean Amy is inaccessible. Quite the contrary. She’s accessible, warm, thoughtful, and compassionate.

 
Amy has a number of memberships and non-membership options for her exclusive matchmaking service. Nobody likes to admit they are single, but here I am, single. A friend recommended I reach out to Amy to have me in her database for eligible bachelors. Amy asked me thoughtful questions and vetted me.  This is important with her clientele who are educated (either formally or informally), successful, and looking for a serious relationship.

Don’t expect a list of 50 people in the next day. Remember the jam study! (Briefly, people went to the grocery store and saw 30 different kinds of jam or 5 different kinds of jam. Guess who was more likely to buy jam and LIKE the jam they brought. The ones who saw only 5 kinds of jam!).
I’ve been introduced to three of Amy’s clients. While i haven’t found the love of my life yet, I think I’m most likely to get there through the personalized and well thought out introductions by Linx Dating.”

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“I have had the opportunity to work with Amy for over a year.  She has been amazing. I initially came to her after months of frustrating experiences on dating apps and meeting men through friends of friends.  I had no trouble finding dates, but time and time again, I found that the men I met were simply not serious about being in a long term relationship.  This would not have bothered me as much in my 20s, but now into my 30s this was becoming painful.

From the very first time I met Amy, she was supportive and genuinely wanted to get to know me in order to find someone I could truly connect with. It was clear from the very beginning that she was interested in much more than just helping me create a “profile” of my accomplishments in the way that dating apps encourage. She spent time reflecting with me about the patterns of my previous relationships in order to help clarify what worked and what didn’t.

Shortly after we met, Amy began setting me up with men she had carefully matched. At every step of the process, she would check in with me about how things were going.

When I eventually met someone, Amy was full of encouragement and we eventually parted ways since I was initially very happy with the person I was dating.

Unfortunately, the relationship I got into began to unravel 6 months later.  When it ended, I took some time for myself to recover.  The break up was painful, but when I eventually recovered Amy was my first call.  She responded right away and we reconnected shortly thereafter. She helped me process my experience and think carefully about how this changed my feelings about finding another partner. Once we reassessed, Amy again began to pair me with men she thought would be good matches.

I am still just getting back on my feet again with meeting new people, but thanks to Amy’s help things are off to a promising start. I am so deeply grateful for her guidance. I recommend her to the highest!” 

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“I’ve been a Linx client for the past year and a half — and I have nothing but positive things to say about Amy & the team.  This review is based on my actual experience as a (paying) client.

There are a few key things that you should know:  

*  BOTH men and women pay to be a part of Amy’s network, so there’s a level of commitment on both sides that just doesn’t exist with other services.  When Amy connects you with someone, you take them seriously.  

*  Amy’s screening process is extremely thorough.  She really dives into what you’re looking for, really gets to know you, and really puts thought into the folks she connects you with.  She asks questions that cover both the superficial and deeper down (say what you will, but both matter in dating!).  For example – one of the getting-to-know-you tasks is to assemble both a scrapbook of photos of people (anyone) you find attractive AS WELL AS photos of people you’ve dated.  Amy wants to see the spread between what you imagine you want and what you’ve actually shown attraction to — that’s key and clever.

* Everyone uses her!  Critical mass / network effect is so important with a matchmaker — you can be confident that you really are getting into a pool of like-minded people.  I signed up after independently asking 3 different friends (guys and girls) how they met their significant others, and all said “Oh, this awesome matchmaker named Amy Andersen.”  So the network is great.

*  The Linx process saves a ton of time.  The social proof begins right at the start — Amy tells you that you’re going to like this person.  Amy tells the other person that they’re going to like you.  Neither of you are going to flake (or face the wrath of Amy).  You know the other person is vetted.  They know you’re vetted.  This literally saves weeks in the traditional dating process of un-returned texts/calls, cancellations, changed-minds, etc.  You can be assured that at least the first date is going to be a good one.  And if there’s no chemistry, well, so be it, but that’s up to you 🙂

Anyway – that’s it.  It’s worth the $$, it’s worth the time.  

(PS – I ended up dating the FIRST person Amy set me up with for a year.  So there ya go.)”

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“I have known Amy — the heart and soul of Linx — for almost 20 years now. I have worked with her on and off throughout the years, and while I have never used her dating services (I am happily married), I feel that I know her well and I highly recommend working with her.

Amy is tireless. Of all the people I know, both professionally and personally, Amy is the most enthusiastic about her career. She loves what she does and it shows in the quality of her work and the volume of her successes, including an impressive number of marriages for her clients and their matches.

Amy has integrity. When she gives her word, she keeps it. If she makes an error — a rarity, I have found — she owns up to it and makes it right.

And Amy is connected. Amy’s been helping Bay Area and even international professionals find love for 15 years so her list of contacts is a mile long. So while I’m not “in the biz”, if you have very specific criteria for whom you’re looking for, Amy probably knows the perfect person for you.”

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“I attended a mixer hosted by Amy with Linx Dating and she was the perfect host. The atmosphere was pleasant and everyone who attended was very friendly. If you are on the dating scene and looking to meet the perfect match, Amy is definitely the person you need to “Linx” up with.”

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“I submitted my information and while I am not a premium member paying fees, Amy Andersen reached out about man and wanted to see if I would be amenable to meeting her client. We met and had a great time. What I appreciated was being considered for a match and having had the chance to meet a high quality man who shares many of my foundation values from faith to family life.”
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“I never actually became a client at Linx because the incredibly thoughtful CEO of the company encouraged me to pursue a local company in my hometown. Remarkably, even though she had no incentive (financial anyhow) to help me, she helped me pursue the other local service. She provided guidance, direction, and support along the way; and I eventually did sign with a similarly-minded local company. We exchanged a number of emails over a number of months. I found Amy to be incredibly professional, warm, and kind–and surprisingly accessible given her position in the company. I am entirely happy with the referral she gave me for a local matchmaking service she’s collaborated with before.

Amy was like a matchmaking fairy godmother to me as I contemplated taking the financial and emotional plunge of signing on with a service. She had no other incentive to do it other than wanting me to be happy and to get what I want. I never would have taken the plunge without her thoughtful, individualized guidance. For that reason, I would highly recommend Linx to anyone truly looking for a meaningful partnership. The woman in charge emanates warmth, caring, know how, and savvy. I’m sure it characterizes the rest of the company, too.”

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“I know there’s someone wonderful out there for me. I thought I would try Linx by seeking a professional to help me find the love of my life. Needless to say I’m not disappointed and I cannot say enough good things about Linx Dating. As far as the quality of Linx and the caliber of their clients as well as my interactions with the matchmaker herself Amy. 🙂

I found the website user friendly, easy to navigate, and extremely easy to submit information and pictures of myself. I was quickly matched to a wonderful man that I enjoyed spending time with. I cannot say enough wonderful things about him and what a great guy he is.

The caliber of the clientele compared to online dating has far exceeded my expectations. Amy has already done all the tedious, pre screening, love matching work. You will not be disappointed.

I cannot say enough wonderful things about Amy. She has an amazing talent in matching souls and putting love together. Amy is quick to respond. She thoroughly interviews, face times, all while making you feel comfortable, as if you were two friends having a conversation. She knows how to handle busy professionals allowing flexibility and alternative forms of live face to face conversations, text, and email. Amy asks little to nothing in return and only wants to assist us in finding love and happiness.

I highly recommend Amy and Linx dating. You won’t be disappointed and you will never return to regular online dating websites.”

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“Finding the love of your life can seem like an endless search, with ups and downs. The Linx process was professional, detailed, considerate, and very enjoyable. It was the third match that worked like a charm- where chemistry was firing in all directions.
I ended up proposing in 2011 to my beautiful soul mate and we got married in Fall 2017 Fall of 2017!  Amy even helped with my proposal planning making it seamless and thoughtful at Cavallo Point in Marin.
We are so blessed to have been matched and wouldn’t have ever met if it was not for this unique dating network. For anyone who wants to be introduced to quality, genuine men and women all of whom have been carefully vetted by Amy, this is an  excellent alternative to online dating and dating apps!”
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Announcing new VIP search….Recruiting single women in Silicon Valley…

Standing at 6’0” and always impeccably dressed, our bachelor has a great head of distinguished salt and pepper hair, hazel eyes, a wonderful smile, and an athletic build. He brings positive, cheerful energy to any situation and people naturally gravitate towards his charm and charisma.

His ability to connect with anyone and to figure out what makes them laugh has enabled him to build a social and active life filled with good friends and good food. This leads to his having many days and nights out with friends, either in the city, at the golf course, or even overseas.

Having grown up abroad, our bachelor loves to travel all over the world, and is always seems to be planning his next adventure. He loves learning about different cultures and people and is regularly finds new ways to connect with whomever or whatever he encounters. From soccer games to the opera to investing in real estate, he enjoys a wide range of activities and, on his nights in, he enjoys watching movies or discovering the next best TV series with his daughters- both in their 20’s. In his 60 years on earth (and 40 in America), he has built a highly successful, high profile career.

You will find this man to be the consummate gentleman through and through. He’s not only extremely attentive, but warm-hearted, a fabulous story-teller, loyal beyond comparison, and ready for an authentic, deep love.

His best match is of any heritage, ages 40-50’s, with soft feminine curves, and a great sense of style. Someone who truly has an infectious personality and a well-honed emotional intelligence. His perfect match knows herself, craves a deep, soulful connection like our VIP does, and is a great communicator. She likely has kids 10 years old + and definitely doesn’t want more kids. Our bachelor is looking for a woman to enjoy truly life with- from 5 star dining and luxury travel, entertaining, fun, laughter, film, and so much more. You will most likely never meet such a generous and kind man.

If you believe you might be a good match for our extraordinary VIP or know someone who is, please email our founder Amy: amy@linxdating.com

Digital Dating Detox

Dear faithful readers,
I’m re-posting a blog entry from a talented friend who’s a writer, editor, and digital consultant living in New York City named Micaela English. Micaela is a spectacular individual and just launched a website and journal (blog.) Rather than sending editors writing clips when pitching stories, she needed a one stop shop to show the work she’s most proud of. She also has so many stories that don’t get picked up and feels passionately about sharing her work with the world which you can find in her “journal” (a fancier💎 way of saying blog.) Her first story she published? …. “Why Silicon Valley’s top matchmaker (Linx Dating + Amy Alex Andersen) told me to go on a digital dating detox last summer, and how it led me to meet the loveliest human being.” So enjoy and please consider following my dating advice and perhaps you too will meet the love of your life next. XO- Amy  iStock-635698096 copy.jpg

The Best Piece of Advice Silicon Valley’s Top Matchmaker Gave Me? Stop Dating

Last year, I was totally and completely burnt out from dating and relationships. I had that Charlotte from SATC moment,“I’ve been dating since I was 15. I am exhausted. Where is HE?” After my last relationship with someone I was sure I had long term potential with abruptly ended, I reached a breaking point. In a desperate move, I asked for help. I wrote an email to a matchmaker I had interviewed in the past for an article, and had really clicked with. Her name is Amy Andersen of Linx Dating. Amy is not only the top matchmaker in Silicon Valley (think entrepreneurs, CEOS, and the like) but she is also insanely smart, contagiously funny, and warm. She not only responded to my e-mail right away but she also gave me the best dating advice of my life. In the spirit of SPRING FEVER, and people coming out of their winter cocoons, ready to get our there again, I want to share her advice with you no matter what stage or status you are in on your relationship journey. To the broken hearted, there is light at the end of the tunnel, take some time to celebrate and date YOU!

So what did Amy say to me when I told her I had just about had enough of the swipes, dates, pseudo-relationships, and breakups? She said I needed a complete and total digital dating detox. A digital dating detox? What is that? Amy explained in tech terms, “It’s about getting off the spinning hamster wheel going nowhere and removing the digital noise and distractions from your life. It’s a “reboot” of yourself and a defragmentation of your internal hard drive. Or in Silicon Valley lingo, it’s a CTRL + SHIFT + ESC. Like a computer that’s a few years old and running slow, you might not feel as if you are mentally as agile and optimistic as you used to be. With a computer, it’s likely that you have stored cache, installed apps by accident, have a million old e-mail downloads that are hogging memory, and have a ton of junk on your desktop. My digital dating detox is a personal “clean up” program created to empower anyone who has experienced dating fatigue. The goal is to make you stop feeling burned out and give yourself a necessary break and reboot.” Does that click with you? Keep reading.

1. Invest in yourself and Delete.The.Apps.

First things first. Delete the apps. Amy told me to delete every single one of them for a few months, which I did. To be honest, I was super anxious about it, they were my security blankets to getting dates, but not having alerts and “homework” swiping as part of my daily routine was truly one of the most liberating things I’ve ever done. Amy’s philosophy? “Invest in “YOU time” until you can look forward to it again. My most important advice is to take a well-deserved break and get off all apps, online, and just focus on making a personal investment in yourself. Get in the best mindset and health, and do things that make you genuinely happy.”

2. Surround yourself with like-minded, positive people who are doing cool things in their lives.

As Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” I truly believe this. Living in New York City, there are so many choices, invitations, and “we need to catch ups.” In order to stay overall positive and healthy during my experiment I chose to spend my time with people that genuinely felt good to hang out with, inspired, and supported me. It was as simple as that. I still truly believe this, I love seeing people, I’m sure you do too.

3. Start spending your time doing things that YOU want to do instead of what others want you to do or what society says you should do.

This one really resonated with me. My calendar was so often filled with things “I needed to do”. Dates were scheduled like workouts. It was exhausting. I decided to throw that all out the window. If everyone was going away for Memorial Day weekend and there were invites to travel, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t. I spent it going to the spa and doing things that felt good for me. I listened to my mind and body and took my emotional temperature of what I was open to doing, one day at a time.

4. Try and do new things out of your comfort zone.

Amy suggested that I “Think about the “types” of people you would like to meet and center yourself in those environments. If you have always wanted to learn rock climbing and find men who do this to be incredibly attractive now is your time to take indoor rock climbing lessons after work .” Doing these new things will also prove to yourself that you are constantly growing and doing new things. It’s a win/win!

5. Stay open. Stay kind.

This point really hit home with me. I used to feel frustrated after an unsuccessful date and like it was a waste of time but Amy made a really good point to me. “You never know whom you are going to meet. Even if he/she is not the one for you , he/she might have a friend who ends up being your match. Be kind and compassionate to your date with the goal of sending out positive energy and good karma. Although you and your date might agree that there is not chemistry between you, maybe he/she will extend an invite to a BBQ to meet some of his single friends. It is precisely at this even that you could meet the true love of your life. Lesson, don’t burn bridges or play games. Remember any single person is in the same boat as you and probably doesn’t actually enjoy dating just for the sake of dating- much like you!” Be kind, it will never hurt you in the long run.

6. Ask people around you if they know anyone for you?

The good old friends of friends approach. Amy says to, “Tell your trusted network of friends and family that you are taking a 2-6 month digital detox and are going to “old school” it for the time being. That you are excited at the possibilities and put it out there that you’d love to be considered for any set-ups if they have a single friend in mind. Have a sound bite ready for your approach with anyone you are talking to….”I came out of a relationship a few months ago and I’ve checked out some of the dating apps but truthfully it’s challenging from a time and lack of vetting perspective. That’s why I was hoping to get out there and just meet people a little more organically, like you.”

6. STAY POSITIVE and don’t overthink all of this.

And Amy’s most important advice of all, “The energy you radiate is what’s given back to you.” Hell yes. “Additionally, you have to enjoy being in the moment and letting go of concerns or any negative messages or doubts. When you are literally having fun and carrying on with a giant smile and a “I don’t really give a flying f*ck” attitude because I am happy THAT is exactly the energy people want to be around. You’ve reached a much more enlightened point and have shifted your energy from tired and frustrated to “light, easy, and breezy.” You’re radiating a confidence and certain je ne sais quoi that many people wish they had.”

So what happened to me, after my digital dating detox? I fell in love with myself again. And with being in love with myself, I felt this magical aura around me once I “got back out there” I went on my first Hinge date after no dating for a few months and there he was, the healthy partner I manifested while taking time to be the healthiest version of myself.

For more information on Amy Andersen, linxdating.com

Spring is here! April updates and Linx testimonials

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Last week, I hosted my first Link & Drink cocktail party in nearly 4 years and what a night it was! For those of you who have attended Link & Drinks in past years, you might recall they really exploded with popularity. Picture 500+ guests mingling, meeting, networking, and sparks flying for quite a few guests.

Despite the national and international attention my events received- especially after Vanity Fair featured Link & Drink, I realized they needed to evolve into something exclusive and intimate. As such, instead of blasting my database and letting guests invite a gaggle of their friends, I decided to limit my next mixer to 50 and have it be 100% private- including keeping the location on the DL, off social media, and no last names of guests given to any attendees for privacy.

I curated an elite list of Silicon Valley who’s who- from female entrepreneurs, financiers, techies, CEOs, etc. Some of my guests flew in from Southern California, Texas, and Washington DC and arrived with an open-mind, open-heart, and approachable disposition. Everyone wore cocktail attire- the women looked beyond spectacular in satin dresses and heels and the men looked dashing in sport coats and slacks.

Guests sipped exquisite cocktails, fine wines (Neyers chardonnay and Faust cabernet), French champagnes, and enjoy passed hors d’oeuvres after work and felt relaxed.  This was no “Millionaire Matchmaker” episode in the works with forced connections and a plethora of awkward, dramatic moments.  After the event ended, around 20 of us went to a restaurant next door for more bites, cocktails, and conversation. Laughter filled the room and new and old friends continued to have fun till nearly 11pm. Some guests

A handful of my guests shared the most lovely feedback and follow-ups on my mixer…

“I attended one of Linx Dating’s “Link and Drink” events and had a fantastic time. The venue, food and drinks were all great, and I had fascinating conversations with several really interesting people (men and women alike). The event was in a pretty small space, so it was very intimate, and the crowd seemed to be everything that Linx promises — beautiful, successful and jet setting (I met two people who had flown in just for the party). Amy is an amazing host who flittered around the party making introductions and making everyone feel comfortable and welcome….my only complaint is that they don’t happen more frequently!”

“Linx Dating is the crème-de-la-crème of matchmaking.  Amy goes above and beyond to make sure that every client and event is nothing short of exceptional. She thinks through every detail and is truly passionate about helping people find love. I’ve seen this first hand.  I appreciate Amy’s sincerity, but more importantly — honesty.  In an arena that is not so easy to navigate– especially in the digital age, Amy has this intuition that I can’t quite explain. A decade ago, I use to work for Amy; since then, I have been a fan of hers ever since.  It is heartening to see her bring together countless couples to find their happily ever after.” 

“I attended Amy’s recent Link and Drink event and had an amazing time. It was at a beautiful venue in San Francisco and was so tastefully put together. I drank sparkling rosé while mingling with other guests. Amy is particular about the clients she represents and is very well connected in the Silicon Valley. She is extremely professional and great at what she does. She’s told me about various success stories of her clients and you can tell that she’s so passionate about what she does, which is an important trait to have as a match maker. While I’m sure the business of matchmaking can be done in all different ways, Linx is extremely classy and tactful. I’d absolutely recommend Linx to anyone looking to get into the dating scene. You won’t be disappointed!”

 

“THANKS SO MUCH AMY!!!! So awesome seeing you. Super super appreciate the invite!!! Such awesome people. Was telling my sister about the event haha she says she’s down to be set up! And me too :))) Happy to help you source, have a ton of awesome single friends!! Thanks again! Met some cool people – grabbing drinks with (name removed for privacy) tomorrow.”

 

“The recent Link & Drink mixer Amy organized was a blast! I had such a great time! Amy did an amazing job. Venue was very cool. Participants were so different, but Amy helped to break the ice. Awesome networking, great connections! It was such a pleasure to be a part of it!”

 

“Great fun last night Amy, you put on a really lovely event.  Interesting group of people and fantastic venue. I did get (name removed for privacy) number and will keep you posted on progress with her.”

 

“Great seeing you on Thursday, and thanks again for inviting me to your event!  I had a good time meeting a bunch of folks there.  You surround yourself with a great network of people.”

 

“I’m the one who owes you another round of hearty thanks. Kudos for organizing a lovely event! I really enjoyed myself and so appreciated the opportunity to take part in the fun.”

 

“I met some really nice people who were surprisingly open about their love lives. In a good way — not a bad way. I am a believer in the idea of allowing love and chemistry to build, but I know not everyone feels that way.”

 

“Thank you so much for a fabulous evening on Thursday, I think it was a great event with lots of interaction going on:).  I personally enjoyed meeting different men and chatted with few that appeared quite interested.  I have cards from 5 men!”

 

“It was a fantastic evening….Please do let me know if you find yourself in Washington DC.”

 

“You always throw such a tasteful event. Sorry I couldn’t stay longer.  The drawbacks of being the boss….”

 

“I thought your event was super, the people classy, and it seemed that everyone enjoyed themselves, so that is success in itself. You are the master at introductions…you must have a memory of a steel trap:)”

 

If you would like to be considered as a guest at our summer cocktail soiree in the San Francisco Bay Area please send an inquiry to Amy Andersen at: amy@linxdating.com and tell her a bit about yourself. Happy Spring to all!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Much Sex Should We Be Having Anyway?

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Whether you’re enjoying the newness of a fresh relationship or comfortable after years together, you can count on your sex life changing. What is hot and heavy at first may calm to sporadic bedroom sessions. Or, maybe that initially awkward and mediocre sex (that perhaps you don’t want very often) can evolve to gratifying, explosive orgasms (that you’d enjoy twice daily). With such a wide spectrum, is there a baseline amount of sex we should be having?

 

According to the Kinsey Institute for research in Sex, Reproduction and Gender, the best predictor of sexual frequency is age—not marital status. Researchers found that, on average, people between 18-29 have 112 sex sessions a year; people between 30-39 have 86 sex sessions a year; and people between 40-49 have 69 sex sessions a year.

 

Wondering about the 50+ crowd? After surveying over 8000 participants over the age of 50, the The Normal Bar found that 31 percent enjoy sex multiple times a week; 28 percent enjoy sex a few times a month; and 8 percent have sex once a month. Nearly a third of respondents rarely have sex at all.

 

Worried about your sex life losing steam? There is an upside: Although the quantity of sex may decrease with age, the quality gets better. In one study, researchers attributed the higher levels of sexual satisfaction in menopausal and post menopausal women to their confidence, managed expectations, and ability to prioritize their sexual needs.

 

We’re below average! Is there a problem?

 

Not necessarily. In one study led by Amy Muise of The University of Toronto-Mississauga, researchers found that couples who have sex every night are just as happy as the couples who have sex once a week. In another study, researchers asked half of the 64 married couples participating to double the amount of sex they typically have. When comparing happiness levels from the cohort having more sex to the cohort sticking to their usual sex amounts, researchers found no increase in happiness. Instead, the couples with the doubled sex requirement reported lower energy levels and sexual dissatisfaction.

 

The findings show that real satisfaction doesn’t stem from the amount of sex, but rather from the quality of sexual experience. Sex is a vehicle for connectivity; some couples need to have sex to be connected and others can achieve connectivity other ways. In other words, as long as you and your partner feel connected, the amount of sex is secondary. “It’s important to maintain an intimate connection with your partner without putting too much pressure on engaging in sex as frequently as possible,” said Muise.

 

Is there a such thing as too little sex?

 

Technically, couples who have sex less than ten times a year are considered “sexless”. For older couples, the declining amount of sex is perfectly acceptable. But, for other couples, a mismatched libido can pose problems. If you haven’t been in the mood, take a closer look at your medications—especially antidepressants and antihistamines—and get your hormone levels checked. If you’ve ruled out physical causes, consider a fake-it-till-you-make-it approach; having sexual experiences can actually produce hormones that trigger higher levels of desire. If sex isn’t on the table, engaging in foreplay can also help fuel the flames of desire. Touching, holding, kissing, and other forms of physical contact stimulates oxytocin—a chemical that gives you feelings of closeness and connectedness with your partner.

 

What if we’re having too much sex?

 

Lucky you–literally! According to sex therapists and medical professionals, there is no such as too much sex; however, if your desire for sex is interfering with your job or relationships, you should consider chatting with a therapist.

 

 

 

Seeking an accomplished single female of integrity, grace, and beauty for our exceptional 30-something bachelor

Linx is looking for single females between the ages of 25-33 years old for our mid-30’s bachelor residing in Southern California. We are happy to send details about our bachelor to qualifying candidates. To say he is exceptional, worldly, cute, highly educated, and super successful would be an understatement!

Are you 25-33 years old and….

– smart and educated / highly accomplished
– funny (as in sense of humor)
– caring and tender
– elegant, stylish, very feminine
– passionate, ambitious, sense of adventure and wonderment

Please email any leads to amy@linxdating.com  There is a small window open in our clients life and the next woman he meets and ends up in a relationship with will absolutely result in marriage. Timing is everything!