Happy Valentine’s to you all……I hope you have fun plans. If you are without a date for tonight, I hope you are going out with the girls for festive drinks or heading to your best GFs home for some good wine, potluck, and The Bachelor on Tivo.
I have my money on him choosing Courtney, although I wish he would pick Lindsey. They seem to have a very good lifestyle compatibility connection and are better matched physically and emotionally too.
I‘ve been tweeting like a passionate cupid today and if you aren’t following me on twitter, please do @linxdating and tell your friends to follow too. Here are some of my tweets from today that I will elaborate more on…..
– Both men and women can overcompensate when dating. Dial it back. See what happens.
I think both men and women can do this all the time. For the guy who buys the girl he likes all her favorite candies every time he sees her, stocks his fridge with all her favorite vitamin waters, and submits to all her crazy requests and demands…is asking for trouble. She will take advantage of you.
For the woman who bakes the guy she likes chocolate chip cookies and her grandma’s apple pie on date two is asking to get bulldozed. Guys love food and what guy won’t eat the cookies and granny’s pie- they all will. Yet it is trying too hard in the beginning and doing too much too soon.
My advice would be to stock the fridge with the vit waters and get her the candies, bake him the cookies ONCE exclusive and in a monogamous relationship.
– Develop an edge. Whatever that edge may be. Reveal that edge when dating. It’s sexy.
There are some people (i.e., Ben from the Bachelor) who lack an edge. I hear from a lot of clients that both men and women desire meeting a potential mate with “something” there worth exploring.
Even Ben said he likes Courtney because she has an edge- which she does. An edge could be an internal strength, a confidence, some random interest that you are crazy wild about, or the fact that you are out there dating a few prospects and don’t always accept a date on a Saturday (leaving some room for mystery).
-Consider a firm handshake when meeting. A cold fish and weak one is such a turn off. That is a matchmakers first data point about someone!
Child, there is nothing worse than a handshake that is like a cold, wet dead fish in your palm. No one likes this. I always use a new client or prospective clients handshake as a benchmark of who they are. Weak ones give anyone the willies. Firm it up. It speaks of your confidence. Couple that with good eye contact. A winning combo.
-Call your match! What is with some guys? They ping me for an introduction then let 10 days go by before calling. Get on the clue train!
Like seriously? I get so many emails each day from clients requesting “match me.” As I follow through with a new match, I am often taken aback by a few of these super desirable guys who just forget to call. Sorry Amy, I was sick. Amy, I had to go to Europe last minute. Amy….this and that. An unspoken truth is that women love a man who calls period. Match that to calls when he says he is going to call. A winning combo.
-Don’t force a connection. Allow a connection to unfold naturally and organically. You can’t manufacture love.
I have a friend who is extremely eager to find love. Before she even has met possible matches, she is already planning the wedding. Men pick up on that frenetic energy and will close the loop before even meeting because it is “too much.” She will send long emails even before meeting for date one about why they are great together and a data dump of her life. This is a total turnoff. Stop the long emails, the data dumps, and just be casual about it. If you feel the frenetic clutter in your mind building up, go workout, or call your best GF.
-Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
I say this all the time. It just happened again how someone I know is literally casting away every other potential opportunity and connection because she had ONE good date with a cool guy. He did all the things a gentleman and good guy does on the first date and actually seems like a very nice young man. That being said, to close off every other opportunity to meet other potential suitors because she is banking on him being her husband has disaster written all over it! For all she knows, he is out there courting 5 other women (doing the same thing, saying the same thing, etc etc).