San Francisco Dating Service

LINX LOVE: UAE + Palo Alto

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We are pleased to announce a recent Linx match–across continents. Linx Dating was recently tapped to make an introduction for an especially discerning VIP candidate from the Emirates. Our boutique firm led the search for the woman who met the client’s specific criteria and, in a short time, we made an introduction based on mutual compatibility.

As a distinguished leader in his country, our client’s time was in high demand. Travel, investments, and family responsibilities made his search for a serious, compatible partner increasingly difficult. Without time to waste, our client entrusted Linx with the search for the love of his life.

After conducting a series of meetings stateside, Founder and CEO, Amy Andersen, helped our client decide what he most valued in a partner. The ideal match would not only have an a Stanford University degree, she would be family focused and professionally ambitious.

Our client also preferred feminine women with a healthy physique and natural curves. Equipped with a specific picture of the client’s needs, Linx made a series of highly curated introductions. Each introduction helped us get closer to the right match; our efforts have helped our client find the partner—and relationship—he had been waiting for!

No stranger to high profile clients, Linx employs discretion always. We were able to conduct a search, make introductions, and exceed our client’s expectations without compromising our client’s privacy. We pride ourselves on keeping our clients’ personal lives private as we cast wide nets to find ideal matches.

After only having a few dates with his final match, our VIP client and his beautiful Stanford educated match tied the knot in a very private ceremony in Arabic abroad with only close family witnessing. We are thrilled at yet another success story and congratulate the very happy couple as they embark on their life together!

Curious how Linx Dating can change your life? Contact Amy here.

 

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Divorced? Here are the Top 5 Questions She Needs Answered

 

Dating after divorce isn’t easy but, with nearly half of all marriages ending in separation, it’s not unusual. However, for some women who haven’t been married before, your divorce can pose some challenges. Many daters associate divorced people with excess baggage. Being upfront and willing to talk openly about your past can clear up these misconceptions and help your date clear up any doubts that are getting in the way of a potential relationship.

Knowing what to reveal about your divorce is half the battle; you also need to know how to talk about your experience.

Here are the top 5 questions women ask themselves when dating a divorced man and tips on how to answer them effectively:

  1. Does he have a crazy ex wife?

 Your date is trying to figure out how your ex wife will affect the relationship you share. She might wonder, “Will his ex be a source of perpetual drama?” or “Is the ex wife vindictive?” Whether or not your ex has handled the divorce maturely is irrelevant; your date just needs to know that you are able to handle any backlash from your past. Although tempting, you should never throw your ex wife under the bus. Not only is it unattractive, it reveals underlying anger on your part that can be perceived as a red flag.

How to discuss: “We were both ready for those divorce papers and once everything was finalized, we both moved on to better things.”

  1. Is he in a rush to get married right away?

To make up for a failed marriage, some men are overly eager to get it right the second time. This question has a way of answering itself, but it’s best to avoid talk of marriage early in the courtship.

How to discuss: “After being married X years, I know myself better and have a clear picture of the kind of woman I’d like to share my life with. I also know that being in a rush to make that happen would ruin the fun.”

  1. Is he afraid of getting married again?

A painful divorce could deter anyone from round two, so it’s important to convey that you are open—but not rushing—to marriage. She wants to know that you won’t let a bad experience get in the way of a future with her.

How to discuss: “Marriage didn’t work out the first time around, but I’m excited to figure it out again and share my life with the right person.”

  1. Why did they get divorced?

In the early stages of dating, you can answer this question sufficiently without going into much detail. Even if you made some serious mistakes during your marriage, you can address them later once the relationship has progressed. In the meantime, stick to a message that reveals how much you learned and evolved from your first marriage.

How to discuss: “Marriage for us wasn’t right in so many ways—it’s hard to pick just one reason why it fell apart. I’m glad I went through it because I’ll make a better partner next time around.”

  1. If kids are in the picture, what does that picture look like?

If you have children, absolutely mention them early in the relationship; they should never come as a surprise to your date. She will want to know about the relationship you have with your kids and the role they will play in your courtship.

How to discuss: “I have two kids from my first marriage, and I share custody with my ex wife. I’ve got the kids on weekends, and I love being involved in their lives. I try to give them as much stability as possible, so I generally keep my relationships and kids separate in the beginning. Would love for you to meet them one day when the time is right for both of us.”

Remember, your divorce is not a deal breaker, it’s just a part of your story. Being open about your failed relationship and framing it the right way will help your partner realize that although your first marriage was broken, it gave you an opportunity to be a better partner in your next relationship.

 

The best first dates, start with you being you. Read tips on being the best version of yourself on a date here

 

 

Happy Fall and Linx Testimonial

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Dear Readers,

Happy *almost* fall! I can’t believe how long it’s been since my last entry. Truth is it’s been extremely busy on the matchmaking front, focusing a lot of my energy on a handful of international VIP searches.  It seems like the summer flew by in the blink of an eye and it’s hard to believe that October is only two days away!  The summer brought in some incredibly new dynamic Linx members of all ages. It also meant a fair amount of members took time off from dating to travel for pleasure and to gain a fresh new perspective and clarity about the type of match he/she needs for the long term. Sometimes, taking time off from dating for a month or two can actually be the best thing that happens to you. It allows a shift in focus, mental clarity, and gaining mastery over dating anxiety and being single.

In July, a beautiful and incredibly smart early 30’s female came into my office for a screening. Although there are several steps that lead up to the actual matchmaking phase, the initial “meet and greet” marks the beginning of our scrupulous Linx Dating screening and vetting process as we delve deeply to get to know all about a prospect, who he/she is,  and what he/she seeks in a perfect match.

The art and science inherent in this careful “due diligence” is one key factor that distinguishes Linx from other run-of-the-mill matchmakers who mass market their services and often have no real desire to get to know their clients.  Our discreet, closed-network approach is unique, and further differentiates us as the firm of choice for high caliber and well-educated professionals. I personally sit down with EVERY prospect and client one-on-one and take the time to really get to know another.

When she came into my office, I immediately liked her. She had a real infectious energy about her, a warmth, curiosity about the world, and empathy. This hard-working young professional based in San Francisco opened up about past relationships and in hearing her story, I knew I could immediately help her. I instantly recognized patterns in her dating which included picking the wrong types of guys where she gave these relationships her ALL yet didn’t get what she deserved in return. Ever been in one of those “one-sided” types of relationships? You give, give, give, and try really hard to make it work and the other just seems to take, take, take, and you feel an on-going void.

I told this Ivy educated prospect I wanted her to jazz up her image a bit if we were to work together- think Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s meets Olivia Wilde as Beatrice Fairbanks in The Longest Week.


 

One of the many unique dimensions and value-adds of being invited to join Linx is that matchmaking is done using a holistic approach from date preparation (this could involve date coaching, wardrobe consult, hair, make-up, fitness training, nutrition, etc) to actual matchmaking, valuable feedback, and a continual open dialogue with client to ensure he/she is on track for relationship success!

The prospect told me she was ready for love and wanted to work with Linx. After our meeting, I prepared a proposal with an outline of how I could best help her. This honest feedback included some preparation for (hair, make-up, review of her date clothing she already had in her closet) and making sure she was 100% ready for this journey with Linx.

It didn’t come as a surprise that she needed to take a few days to digest my proposal and in fact, it’s highly encouraged versus rushing a big decision. She came back to me over email with open arms and said she was ready to embrace my plan of action. I can’t tell you how much I LOVE when a new client is 100% ALL IN, trusting, ready, and their excitement is palpable.

I thought it would be particularly helpful for readers to hear her experience. Here’s her testimonial about the Linx process so far.

 “I explored working with Amy at the start of the summer, after hearing about her from a family friend who had overheard someone discussing “the best person in California to help you find the right spouse.” I’d experienced loving relationships in my past but had not found “the one” yet and was turned off by the non-committal, often judgmental dating scene of the Bay Area. I went into our initial meeting open-minded and cautiously optimistic. What type of men did she work with, what type of woman were they looking for, and was that me? Were they really looking for commitment and a family? Would the quality of potential matches justify the cost?

My initial meeting with Amy went better than I expected. She carved out a large chunk of her morning to talk to me in detail about what I value, my history, my personal passions, and what I thought I was looking for in a future husband. She also suggested particular qualities and areas to focus on that I had not previously prioritized, based on her years of working in the industry and seeing both successful and unsuccessful relationships. This was particularly helpful, and where it is crucial to be open-minded – Amy has seen it all and can recognize needs or patterns instantly. The moment I opened up to her (often small) ideas, I noticed a change in my mind-set and happiness in the dating land.

The process of working with Amy is a dream. You get out of Linx what you put in. Amy is available to email or message literally every day – if you have your important first date on a Saturday, she makes herself available that evening to see pictures of what you are wearing and help you make decisions if you’d like it. She is your best cheerleader and coach, providing encouragement and tips as you navigate the early stages. Amy will provide honest and insightful style tips; she helped me tweak my look in a way that I had never imagined and makes me feel beautiful every day. Matches will come at the cadence you’d like them – whether that be immediately upon becoming her client or more gradually. Amy is very thoughtful about who she matches you with, thinking about both of your needs and desires. She talks you through the initial matching phase, answering questions you may have about the other person and providing insight into why she thinks this particular person is so well suited for you.

My personal Linx experience has been fulfilling, enjoyable, and unbelievably rewarding. Within one week of becoming Amy’s client, I had my first official match with a man who was basically my “dream guy.” We became exclusive almost immediately, and things continue to progress very well. It’s still relatively early, but I couldn’t be happier. I’m so grateful to Amy for her continual guidance and encouragement along the way.”

 

 

 

Flooded by Jealousy

In today’s modern dating world, it’s safe to assume that most singles are dating around until they enter into a monogamous relationship. If you really like someone in the early stages of dating, it’s normal to feel jealous when you see other people write flirty comments on their social media pages, hear their phone blowing up with text messages, or run into them when they’re on a date with another person.

Jealousy is a natural human emotion that we all experience from time to time. While the root causes of jealousy may vary, the damage jealous behavior can cause to a relationship can be detrimental.

If jealousy sets in when you start dating a new person, consider the tips below to set yourself up for a successful relationship:

  • Play it cool – Don’t go through your date’s texts and emails. No good can come from snooping, and you will quickly lose their trust in doing so. Give them the same trust and respect you expect to receive from them. If you see them out to dinner with someone else, don’t immediately jump to conclusions about the nature of the dinner or the person’s trustworthiness. Dating around before entering into a committed relationship with one person is perfectly normal.
  • Speak up – If you want to date this person exclusively, let them know. Tell them you don’t want to see other people and learn if they feel the same way. Share your relationship goals and desires to see if they line up. If they don’t, this person wasn’t right for you anyway. Communicating early and often is always important. It’s a good idea to have this talk around date 5. Don’t waste precious time dating someone if he/she doesn’t share your same goals. Similarly don’t be afraid to express what you need and desire. Finally, don’t assume you are exclusive unless you’ve had the talk. I have seen this too many times that just because you are seeing a lot of one another does not mean you are an official ‘item’ until the talk happens.
  • Understand your triggers – Has something happened in one of your past relationships or in your parents’ relationship that makes you question people’s loyalty? If so, try to leave these jealous emotions in the past and give your current flame a chance to prove their loyalty to you. It is exhausting and physically impossible to track someone’s whereabouts and know who they are with at all times, so just relax and give them the opportunity to earn your trust.

When feelings of jealousy creep up in the initial stages of dating, put yourself in your date’s shoes before jumping to conclusions or making rash decisions. Be the person you are trying to attract. Playing it cool, speaking up when necessary and understanding your jealousy triggers will help you turn your budding romance into a long-lasting, trusting relationship.

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How to be yourself on a first date

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There’s a common misconception that dating is like interviewing. While both dating and interviewing tend to make people nervous, most people don’t enjoy being interrogated or talking exclusively about work on a first date. How do successful daters transition from formal work mode into a more relaxed dating mode? Here are some tips on how to be yourself on a first date.

Before the date

Research your date spot – If you have time, check out the date location a day or two before to get a feel for the setup, ambiance and menu. Identify the best tables in the bar or restaurant, determine which of your outfits would make you feel most comfortable in this location, and scan the menu ahead of time so you don’t have to worry about what you’ll want to order. If you are planning the date, pick a place you’ve been to many times before where you feel comfortable and confident. Your date will likely be impressed if you are on a first-name basis with the waiters.

Brush up on your date’s interests – If you have met your date through a matchmaker, friend or online dating service, you probably know a few of their interests. Do a quick Google search on their favorite sports team, the place where they volunteer or the location where they just went on a long trip. Having a few talking points on your date’s interests in your back pocket will ease your first date jitters and show them that you’re interested in getting to know them better.

Exercise – It’s hard not to be in a great mood after completing a solid workout while listening to your favorite energizing playlist. Make time to go for a run, pump iron or do a spin class before a first date to help you feel confident and refreshed. With endorphins flowing and a post-workout glow on your face, you will feel more relaxed after having burned off your nervous energy before the date. Let your date know that you just came from a workout, and they will probably appreciate your commitment to health and physical fitness. In addition to working out, or instead of it if working out isn’t your thing…

Do something you love – Do something that is SO YOU, whether that is getting fresh air at a farmer’s market, cooking something to feel accomplished, talking to a friend or relative, meditating and relaxing with a bath or book or watching your favorite movie. The possibilities are endless, but do something that makes you smile so you’re grounded in who you are before heading out. This will help the real you come out when you are face-to-face with your date.

 During the date

Be an engaged listener – Ask open-ended questions about travel, passions, family and what they did last weekend. “Tell me about yourself” is a great opener because it gives your date the opportunity to let you know what is most important to them. “Teach me something I don’t already know” is also a great way to learn about your date’s hidden talents. Ask questions about things you are genuinely interested in learning. And make sure that the conversation is not one-sided – if you have been asking your date a bunch of questions about their woodworking hobby, sit back and wait for him or her to ask you about yourself.

Give physical clues if you are interested – If you’re having a great time, make eye contact and consider innocently touching your date to let them know that you are attracted to them. Grazing your hand along your date’s lower back as you walk to your table or briefly touching their or arm after they make a funny joke will make your date feel comfortable and admired. Making great eye and physical contact during a first date lets your date know that you are interested in them and will help secure Date #2.

Be Vulnerable – Just because you don’t know a person well doesn’t mean that you should just nod and smile all night regardless of what’s going on in your head. Feeling anxious? Had a terrible day at work? Feeling butterflies? Worried about jumping into a new relationship so quickly after your last? Talk to your date about it. It’s more fulfilling to go on a first date with a real person than someone who doesn’t speak their mind. Vulnerability is sexy.

Be Flexible – Make a plan before your date, but be ready to throw it out the window depending on how things are going. If the date is going well, consider grabbing dinner even though you planned on drinks, or propose going on a long walk even if you planned on seeing a movie. Whether or not you planned the date, the proposed itinerary is merely a suggestion, and you should do what feels right in the moment. Dating is not a math problem to be solved – you need to feel your way through it stay true to yourself.

Most importantly, remember to to enjoy yourself and keep in mind how lucky your date is to be spending time with you. If you have a great time on the date, let your date know in person or in a text or call after you get home. Before, during and after a first date, be honest, be real, be yourself.

 

She’s brainy, balanced, and Christian…

FOR SINGLE MEN AGES 37-49 YEARS

Our client is a feminine 40-year old Asian American woman who has a petite 5’1” frame and is young at heart.  Her style is classic, and she can be comfortable in both heels and sneakers.  She enjoys indoor spinning, running and yoga.

She has a graduate degree and currently works for a technology company in Silicon Valley.  She is very passionate about her job, but is also able to enjoy life outside of work.   She is looking for a person who is intelligent and ambitious but with a strong ethical core, a flexible nature and a fun-loving side.

Outside of career, she is balanced! This candidate loves fitness, flexing her artistic muscle through painting, hunting for the best cheeseburger in the Bay Area, and taking early am spin classes.
So who’s her match? Her best suited match keeps healthy and fit, with kind eyes and an empathetic heart. He could be any ethnicity with a slight preference for Asian American men. He is passionate about his career, sincere, secure, funny, and possesses strong family values.

As our client’s Christian faith has increased in importance over the years, she would love to find someone who would be willing to participate in church together as a couple and with a family one day.

If you or anyone you know might make a strong match for her, please email our founder Amy today at amy@linxdating.com!

Egg Freezing : Is it for you?

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We wanted to present our readers with a very relevant topic and offer you a two part series about egg freezing. In this particular blog entry, you will read about egg freezing from a scientific and data driven perspective and in the second follow-up blog, we will discuss how egg freezing can impact dating and relationships for better or for worse. With so many women discussing the most private aspects of their lives with Linx, often the topic of egg preservation comes up.

Since the invention of birth control almost 60 years ago, no medical advancement has empowered women more than egg freezing. Birth control gave women the freedom to delay conception and decide with whom they would like to procreate, and egg freezing can give women freedom from their biological clocks.

Egg freezing began as a procedure for cancer patients who wanted to preserve eggs before undergoing chemotherapy or radiation treatment. But over the past 10 years, egg freezing has become a hot topic for single women who don’t want to settle for the wrong guy just to have children while they are still fertile and for those who want to achieve certain professional goals before having children.

The recent popularity of egg freezing has spiked as a result of the marketing efforts of companies like Eggbanxx, a network of egg freezing doctors that attract new patients through egg freezing parties in New York City. Similar to Uber or Airbnb, many view egg freezing as a disruptive technology that can give women more control over their bodies.

Women start out with over a million eggs at birth, that number is down to 300,000 by the time they hit puberty, and it continues to dwindle every month until they are no longer fertile. Especially if they live in large cities, women are having children later in life, and egg freezing can give this option to women who have put off having children for one reason or another.

EggBanxx estimates that 76,000 women worldwide will be freezing their eggs by 2018. Successful pregnancy rates fluctuate greatly based on the woman’s age when she froze her eggs, how many there were, how they were frozen, how fertile she was to begin with, and which doctor did the procedure.

As the technology improves, more women have decided to freeze their eggs, and companies like Facebook, Apple, Citigroup and JP Morgan offer egg freezing to female employees as part of their benefits package. These cushy “insurance policies” are wonderful options for women as long as the companies also provide great benefits and support to women who choose to take time off to have children earlier their careers. In a 2013 New York University study of 183 women who had frozen their eggs, 19% said they might have had a child earlier if their workplace had been more flexible.

The New York Times just released that The Pentagon plans to roll out a pilot program offering military troops medical benefits for freezing eggs and storing sperm. This large scale program takes reproductive health to a national scale and recognizes the importance of giving troops important options.

Similar to cutting edge companies who are paying for egg freezing, celebrities have also brought the procedure into the spotlight. Diana Hayden (42), the winner of the Miss World pageant in 1997, gave birth to a beautiful baby from one of her frozen eggs, and Whitney Cummings (33), actress and comedian, often talks about how freezing her eggs gave her more freedom and less pressure to find the one as soon as possible.

Australian sexologist and author, Dr. Nikki Goldstein (30), also recently froze her eggs and videotaped the experience – from the shots, to the emotions, to the pain. During the process, Dr. Goldstein realized how deeply she wanted children and how important it was for her to have time to find the right partner.

You may want to consider freezing your eggs if:

  • You are in your mid-30s and single or not interested in having kids in the next few years
  • You are single and in your mid-30s to mid-40s and would regret never having a biological child
  • You are willing to research egg freezing and understand that there is not a 100% guarantee that you will be able to conceive a child from your frozen eggs in the future
  • You wouldn’t notice the $10-$15k egg freezing cost missing from your bank account (if your company doesn’t pay for it)
  • You understand the costs of extracting, freezing, storing and replanting your eggs, which can cost upwards of $50k total
  • You are committed to injecting yourself with hormones and are okay with being extremely bloated and in abdominal pain for a month before the doctor extracts the eggs
  • You realize that you may have to go through the egg extraction process 2 or 3 times if not enough good eggs are collected the first time
  • It is 100% your decision. Egg freezing brokers are popping up all the time to capitalize on women’s insecurities of ending up alone and childless. Do not get pressured into freezing your eggs – do it because it makes sense for you.
  • You want to take the pressure off finding the future father of your children on every first date.
  • You have been strategic about every decision in your life – where to go to school, which job to take, where to live, etc. – and you want to decide when and with whom you would like to have children
  • You have found a good doctor that you trust to perform the procedure
  • You have no religious issues with the concept of egg freezing
  • You live in or frequently travel to South America and don’t want to have children until the Zika virus has been wiped out

With only 2,000 births worldwide from egg freezing so far, the success rates are difficult to predict, but one thing is certain – egg freezing provides a groundbreaking opportunity for women to live their ideal lives on their own terms and timeline free from biological constraints.