Month: March 2012

Taking A Gamble

A week ago, I felt an urge to pull into the local Shell station in the burbs and to walk into the convenience store and, for whatever reason, to buy a lottery ticket. When do I ever do this? Never. I bought two $1 California Scratchers and was so excited to bring them home, grab a penny, and scratch away… to see if I won anything.

I won! The first $1 ticket I scratched, I ended up winning $20. This, my readers, has never happened. For the second one, I didn’t win anything. I can’t tell you how secretly excited, like a giddy school girl, I’ve been about my winnings.

Last night as I drove by the same Shell station on El Camino in Menlo Park, I did a quick U-turn and pulled right into the station to cash in my winnings! I proudly marched into the shop and the girl scanned my ticket and looked at me, wide-eyed, amazed at my winnings and noting how she has never met a winner… ever. She complained that she always buys tickets but has never been so lucky as I had been.

With my car practically drained of gas, I thought why not apply my big $20 winnings to a quarter tank of premium gas. As I whisked away out of the lot, I felt particularly “Bond like” and definitely bad ass with my free gas and being so strangely satisfied from something so simple as a $20 winning Scratchers ticket and a slightly full tank of oh-so expensive gas.

You can apply my spontaneous, do-something-random approach to gambling to your dating life. The message here is invest a little time and energy into someone that you might really like. Dating and finding the right relationship means letting go a bit, it means sacrificing certain things, being vulnerable, and boldly putting it out there if you feel a connection.

It can sometimes feel like the odds are stacked against you in the competitive world of dating and in trying to find “the one”. You won’t know how lucky you are unless you give in a bit, are confident in yourself, and walk into that next date of yours with the “he or she could be my lucky jackpot and I’m willing to jump all-in and see” attitude.

Life is uncertain. So is gambling. Dating doesn’t have to be. I recommend that you wear a safety belt when you drive, but that you take a lot more risks in trying to find love.  Be a hardcore stats person and try to game the system like an intelligent “gambler” would, and increase your chances of finding love today by declaring this to be your winning year.

We have very favorable odds here at the Linx casino. In the last 6 months, one of our married couples is now expecting a baby, another couple gets married next weekend, and we have countless couples who have declared their exclusivity after their FIRST or second Linx introduction.

Read some of our new client testimonials here:

Talk about walking through the door at Linx and all of a sudden your chances of love greatly increasing! Our success is due to a no-bullshit approach where we are real and honest with you, and encourage you to be the same with yourself – we employ scrupulous methodology with a genuine human element, to match those two clients who are meant to be the winning duo and the perfect pair out of 100 million singles in the US.

My 48 Hour Juice Cleanse

I decided to do an easy 2 day juice cleanse to put some seriously good nutrients into my system and to help give me a nice boost of energy, a glow to my skin, and a more balanced and healthy feel. For the last 6 years I have started each January 1st with a 30 day “Amy cleanse” which has become my own personal ritual to kick off the New Year, and I love it! Given that we are approaching mid March and the weather is icky, I felt I wanted to just feel that my insides were clean and clear of whatever toxins that tend to pile up in our bodies from everyday living. This past January I did a 3-day juice cleanse in conjunction with my standard 30 day cleanse and enjoyed the results very much.  Spontaneously, I felt why not do a 48 hour cleanse, hence this blog.

Day One – this was pretty easy. I started the day by picking up a nicely packaged box of 12 juices in Woodside that were packed on ice – very professional. My first juice was a mint and grapefruit – definitely refreshing and yummy. The second was sweet green (romaine, chard, spinach, cucumber, celery, apple, parsley, and lemon). It too was very good. At around 1:00pm I enjoyed the third juice which was “red greens” (cucumber, celery, beet, carrot, romaine, spinach, rainbow chard, collards, parsley, lemon, and ginger). I loved the little kick at the end of it with the nice ginger to heat it up on the palate. I started to get hungry and was craving “normal” foods around 3:00pm and felt myself not wanting the next one, to be perfectly honest. #4 was spicy citrus which truthfully is my least favorite.  I think for me it feels as if it is the least nutrient-rich and not as satisfying.  It is a blend of water, citrus, ginger, cayenne, and stevia. The cayenne definitely is hot and this one for whatever reason isn’t my fav. Although I had enjoyed 4 so far, I did feel I needed some actual protein so in conjunction to #5, I had a piece of plain grilled chicken with some herbs for taste on it for dinner. Since I’ve been working out a fair amount recently, my body was telling me it needed something more, since my metabolism is up. Plus I do find that when I juice, I sort of miss chewing something. Funny right? You don’t realize these things till you stop chewing and when you just drink, it is a sort of a weird sensation with no chewing. Juice #5 was daily green. This is a combination of kale, romaine, celery, spinach, cucumber, parsley, dandelion, lemon, and ginger. I am not a huge kale fan. Finally, I ended my day with Liv Juices almond milk blend which is filtered water, almonds, dates, vanilla, and Himalayan salt. I love this – it tastes sweet and like a liquid dessert! I think it would be even tastier with some cinnamon blended in there too!

Day Two: I woke up feeling refreshed and balanced. Energy level is up and my body feels good. Today is a repeat of day one. The exact same juices.  It is the afternoon and I almost feel hyper and harmonious. I’ve already enjoyed three so far. I know today will be great too and since I am going to be doing a tough workout, I am going to eat the protein too for dinner. Note, I am a coffee drinker and I have not abstained from coffee. I really need it. I know, I know. If I were uber intense and doing a 7 day shock the system, I wouldn’t do coffee but, for me, it is absolutely my morning ritual and I love the effects of it. I wake up! Trust me, my clients wouldn’t want to know me without coffee and my husband can attest to this! After my third juice today, I was craving some almonds, so grabbed a handful to snack on.  Three more to go. Super easy and it feels great!

A quick update. It’s 5:00pm on the second day and I just finished the spicy citrus which today I liked better. I definitely feel good right now, a little hungry to be honest (might have a bite of grilled chicken in 45 before my dance class) and then will finish the day with 2 more. This is easy! I look forward to more juicing days and also enjoying normal foods too!

Love outside of Linx

Today I received such a kind email from an old client who shared with me how our conversation had really helped her find the love of her life.

“I’m sure you don’t remember me, but I worked with you early on when you first started Linx.  You said some things at our meeting about how easy love can be – the kind of love that is respectful and mutual.  It always stuck with me and I wondered if I would recognize that kind of love if I ever saw it.  Well, my sister met a doctor in the ICU last year and immediately thought we would hit it off.  It took a year for us to actually meet back in  December 2011, but we did hit it off immediately.  And it’s just like you said it would be: committed, kind and supportive.  It’s wonderful to feel so loved by someone else and to love the person in return.  So, I wanted to say thanks for that; your wisdom was a paradigm and benchmark for me for years.”

This goes to show that sometimes a new client doesn’t find their true love at Linx but on their own. The pearls of wisdom we share can help them ultimately attract the right person into their life when the timing is perfect.

New Concierge Service | The Friends Party

Are you new to the San Francisco Bay Area? Outside of linking our clients romantically, over the last 10 years, Linx has been built on a vast network of professionals who see a tremendous value in business relationships as well.

Allow us to plan an event for you, perfectly tailored to your exact social and/or business wishes – from an intimate dinner party bringing together 10 academics, to a cocktail party for 25 in the legal field, or even a larger diverse soiree centered around themed wines from all over the world.

Our goal will be to customize a guest list, inviting the types of professionals that you would like to meet for work purposes or new friendships; or even just that right person to tell you where to get your shirts perfectly pressed, the easiest commute route, or a book club you must join.

Akin to the Chinese concept of Guanxi, the benefits of new contacts can provide a ticket to professional success, lifelong friendships, education, and information to wedge you into your new community in the Bay Area.

Informally, Amy Andersen has matched friends together who are now true confidants, introduced new-to-area clients to 15 new close professional contacts, and is always ‘the’ resource for friends and clients alike who need recommendations for everything from the best florist, to old world tapestries, best local sandwiches, etc. Imagine the impact of that, multiplied by 20 more people who are just as, “if not more,” well-connected than our founder.

This rendition of the Guanxi concept as interpreted by artist Yang Liu in comparing what Germans think about Chinese and vice versa is very interesting. Individualism versus collectivism. 


Becoming a Client

What makes a good potential client for Linx Dating?

Most importantly, it is someone who has typically dabbled with other approaches for meeting eligible singles (i.e. checking out what online dating is like, setups through friends, going out on their own, etc.) and certainly someone who meets the overarching standards for the “type” we work with (educated, accomplished, well-rounded, interesting, fit, and marriage minded.)

Beyond those overarching points, a good new member of Linx is someone who can relax their ideal match criteria, in the sense that they are not unreasonably restrictive – someone who has their core “value set” of what they desire in a match but, beyond that, can be extremely elastic with their criteria.  This does not mean that a member shouldn’t have standards… it means that they should know what is most important to them and optimize from there.

This week I’ve had to reject a fair number of “good on paper” prospective clients for membership. Today was a case of a 39-year-old woman based in San Francisco who absolutely would not go above 45 years in age for her target guy. The ugly truth is that the odds are stacked against someone like this due to pure demographics. A lot of guys between 35 and 45, who have never been married before, desire biologically younger. 

When I explained that casting the widest net is really important in this process and that, knowing my business so well, I recommend she go beyond that age, her response was “no.”  I knew immediately that this prospect would be difficult on a lot of levels.  Not only is she too restrictive, she is not matchable to our male population.  Seeing how uninterested she was in even trusting from the start (considering I am an expert), my gut knew it was not a good fit.

Linx is NOT always about matching clients to older folks where there is not commonality… quite the opposite. Rather, it is about focused search and openness.  Finding a perfect match is already hard enough.  This is why I try to discern whether a potential client has thought hard about what is most critical to them (or else help them get there), and to see if they can chuck that long list of “must haves” and realize that not everything on that list is a “must.”

This also goes to show that Linx is different from so many run-of-the-mill, “overnight” matchmakers. Pretty much the majority works with each and every type of person regardless if they are matchable. Little screening, zero vetting, and no methodology. There are so many steps that go into our process and, at this stage in the game, we have to make sure each person is a good culture fit.

Oh Baby!

My business is my baby.  And it’s like my husband’s stepchild.  Being married many years now, the inevitable question always comes up in conversation – when am I having a baby?

I’m a big believer that the timing needs to be perfectly right on all fronts and that a couple needs to be totally ready. Though there is probably not ever a “right” time, I disagree that “you’re never ready.”  I think you’d better be ready before you take on that kind of responsibility and go on that journey!

My tried and true excuse has been that my business is my baby that requires endless amounts of my time… although there are no diaper changes as such, there is an infinite amount of crap to deal with constantly as a business owner and, although there are no feeding times and nursing, a heck of a lot of nurturing goes into managing my relationships with my clients, as well as managing their complex relationships that stem from their Linx introductions.

As a business owner who still probably pours too much time into work and not enough into “me” and “couple time” with my husband, I have learned to balance my life better. I make sure to get my workouts in and to keep up with friendships as best as I can.  And, luckily, I have a similarly driven husband who loves my business like his own baby, and who has his own multiple business babies.  We get each other and relate that way and revel in being the proud parents that we are.

Every so often, I get a taste of what it might be like when my husband and I cross that bridge into true parenthood.

Today, I made some time for myself, and did a walk with a friend, Jessica, who is a new mom to a beautiful little 8-week old, Stella. I carefully observed the amount of love and attention that Jess poured on the little monkey who is just the most precious bundle of love in the whole world. 

I quickly learned about “mommy code.” I took over and helped Jess out by carrying Stella and was walking with her closely draped over my shoulder swaddled in a soft fuzzy blankie when other moms walked by and simply gave the “mom nod” to me signaling “we get it” and “we’re in the same club.”

I also observed another fascinating, seemingly shocking thing. At a store, as I opened a door myself while holding Stella (not easy by the way!), an older man literally breezed through the doorway and looked at me saying “thank you.” As Cher would say in Clueless, “as if!” I was floored that this crotchety old man didn’t have the social graces to hold the door open for me, first of all, and with a baby, mind you! I asked Jessica if this was common and she said not entirely, but I’m sure I’d be blown away at the number of people who were rude and had had a lack of awareness when she was totally preggos.

At the end of the walking date, I was struck that, in dating, just as in caring for a baby, inevitably along the way you deal with a lot of hiccups/dirty diapers/vomit (such as shitty dates) that require coddling by moms/siblings/friends, but ultimate fulfillment comes from the journey of finding love and nurturing from the perfect match just as it comes from the entire experience of parenting.