Silicon Valley Matchmaker

Does He Think You’re the One? 7 Signs that Point to Yes

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You meet and there’s chemistry. Real chemistry. You are starting to fall hard, but ghosts from relationships—and flings—of the past prompt you to ask: “Is this serious infatuation or could this be real?”

 

Instead of spending energy trying to figure out what he means, look for behaviors that reveal investment. If these signs apply to your current relationship, chances are he thinks you’re the one or, at the very least, a serious contender.

 

  1. He wants everyone to meet you.

He’s excited to incorporate you into his world, and that starts with meeting the main characters. You are meeting friends, family, coworkers and anyone else who knows your partner well. You’ll notice that many of them have been looking forward to meeting you. If he’s aiming to build a life together, he wants start building memories with the people who matter most. He feels proud to stand next to you and he wants his social circle to see what a wonderful person you are!

 

  1. He talks future plans—especially holidays.

Any nod to future plans is a good sign, but if it’s summer and he’s already discussing Christmas logistics, he’s smitten. Holidays give people two major excuses to be apart—family and extensive travel. If he’s ignoring the implications of both to include you, he values your time, your company, and the long term potential of your relationship.

 

  1. He handles your down moments.

This sign goes beyond his willingness to to see you in all of your forms—this sign is about YOU. Are you able to fall apart in front of this person and know that his opinion of you won’t change? If so, he’s giving you a gift that is beyond weathering occasional storms; he’s showing you that he offers unconditional support—a strong indicator that he’s in it for the long haul.

 

  1. He says “we”

When his decision evolves from “best for me” to “best for us”, he is subconsciously showing that you are part of bigger plans that extend beyond the present. In this case, “we” is more than just a pronoun, it’s his way of saying “you are a part of me.” As the relationship progresses, you’ll notice that questions directed to him are answered with “we”, because in his mind, most of the plans include you. We means he is “facing forward” into the future and seeing both of you as a unit.

 

  1. He wants to learn you.

He’s not only curious about what makes you tick, he’s interested in showing you that he’s absorbing the information. So, you love coffee. Does he know a coffee run is in order before Sunday’s errands? If you can’t join the coffee run, does your coffee come back with the right ratio of milk and sugar? Although seemingly small, these gestures speak volumes about his desire to learn you and your routines. At the end of the day, he wants to make you happy.

 

  1. He lets you in.

Emotional intimacy starts with vulnerability, and he’s willing to get vulnerable with you. Since some men struggle with expressing their feelings, the emphasis is on his willingness. If you ask the hard questions, he will work with you on answering them—even if that means visiting a counselor or therapist. Emotional bonds are much harder to break than their physical counterparts. If he’s serious about growing with you, you’ll be strengthening both types of attachment.

 

  1. You never wonder if he thinks you’re the most interesting person in the room.

In a crowded room, he always seems to be aware of how you’re doing; you have an ability to sense each other. Maybe it’s the way he encourages you to share your personality. Maybe it’s the way he knows what you’re thinking without any words at all. Whatever it is, you know you’re with someone who reads you and enjoys the story you tell.

 

If you’re dating someone and he hasn’t started to exhibit any of these “signs”,  give him a chance and don’t give up too soon. Everyone arrives to the dating game with their own history, set of experiences and expectations. It’s impossible to know what’s going on in his head but by giving him some time, you can closely watch his behavior and see if he’s the man for you or you’re meant to be moving on.

You can always email our founder Amy at: amy@linxdating.com and ask her dating advice in a confidential manner.

Happy Spring, happy dating….XO

 

 

How to Date When You Want Kids Yesterday

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All too often the subject of kids—and knowing if they’re a possibility with a new partner—isn’t handled with much care. It has a sneaky way of becoming a checklist question; a question that is asked early on to determine whether or not someone is worth seeing again. With biological clocks ticking, some women and men are rushing to get an answer before “wasting” one more minute with someone who might not share the same goals. That rush prevents real chemistry from blooming, regardless of the partner’s desire to have children in the future.

So how do you date when you know you want kids?

Describe your approach to family plans, without any pressure for your partner to be a part of it.

 

What to say: “Family dinners and minivans are probably out there somewhere, but I still have no idea how I’m going to get from point A to point B.”

 

Here’s why this works: This kind of comment reveals your plans for a family without any expectation for your partner to respond in a certain way. Not only are you able to express yourself authentically, but you are doing so in a way that doesn’t involve deadlines or ultimatums.

 

Don’t let kid-centric or family-centric conversation be the hot topic.

 

Here’s why this works: You are more than your desire to have children. With a healthy self-esteem intact, you don’t need a sperm/egg donor to make your life complete; you have yourself and you are complete as is. Even though children are a top priority, you come first. In other words, you are looking for the right person for you before looking for the best parent to a child. When dating is about you, you partner will feel like he or she complements you, and isn’t just being vetted for sperm or egg donor.

 

Accept where your partner is—and the personal goals he or she has.

 

Here’s why this works: In the wake of amazing chemistry, we can create a narrative that doesn’t exist. For example, we may think, “We have such a good thing going, of course he will change his mind when we get more serious.” This kind of thinking reveals that we do not accept our partner as he or she is; instead, we are hoping for them to change. This added pressure on our partner will ultimately cause friction and disappointment when his or her mind doesn’t change.

 

 

Be patient with those who are unsure, but keep the door open to those who are.

 

Here’s why this works: Some people aren’t sure about kids in their future for situational reasons. Perhaps they are in the midst of a career transition that is taking up most of their future planning. Maybe they are close to someone who is dealing with the agony of infertility. Maybe they need the right partner first to see kids in the future. Whatever the reason is, there’s no need to eliminate someone who isn’t exactly on your same page right away. With that being said, it’s also wise to keep the door open to those who may be ready to start their family sooner.

 

You should have a sense of your partner’s feelings about a future family before committing.

Here’s why this works: Dating is your chance to explore the likelihood of a lasting relationship. If you aren’t sure what he or she feels about kids, continue keeping doors open until you have a better sense. Signing onto serious emotional and time investment without a nod to your personal priorities is too much to risk—your time is too valuable.

 

Where to Live and Let Love Find You

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It’s Valentine’s Day. Don’t sulk alone in your apartment watching Netflix. If you’re single and ready to mingle, maybe you should move to a new city where love will find you.

Unlucky in love? It’s not you, it’s your city. The dating pool in the nation’s largest cities varies quite a bit. To help people find the places that will give them the best chance to find their soul mates, our friends at Trulia examined U.S. Census data in each of the 100 largest metros. We’ve focused our efforts not only on where you can find plenty of single men and women, but where you’re more likely to find those more or less educated, divorced or not, and places where populations skew young or old.

For now, we limited our study to those seeking the opposite sex, since government data isn’t quite as good when it comes to same-sex statistics.

Taking a guess at what people care about most, we looked specifically at the ratio of single men to single women, the age range of these singles, how many hours they typically work each week, how much education they have and whether they were previously married or not. Note that we only analyze those at or over the age of 21.

For example, if you’re looking for a marriage-material guy– a man in his 30s with at least a college degree who works the standard 40 hours a week or more and has never been married, head directly to San FranciscoSan JoseSeattle or Austin, Texas. San Francisco has the second highest ratio of single male to single female (0.972), where 52% of adult men are single. Of this dating pool, 19.8% are in their 30s and 55.7% work at least 40 hours a week.

If you’re looking for a man…

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For women, searching for your dream guy, find out your dating destination: Click here to take the quiz.

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If you’re looking for a woman…Best places to find Ms. Independent.jpg

For men, searching for your dream girl, find out your dating destination:

Click here to take the quiz.

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On the flip side, if you’re looking for Ms. Independent – a woman in her forties with at least a graduate degree, works at least 40 hours a week and you don’t care if she’s been married before, go East. You’ll have the best luck along the Eastern Seaboard metros of WashingtonAtlanta, Raleigh, N.C., and Baltimore. For instance, in the D.C. suburb of Silver Springs, Md., 44.4% of adult women are single – of which, 14.6% are in their fab forty years and 38.8% work at least 40 hours a week.

If neither of these profiles are your cup of tea, then take the quiz yourself to figure out where you should live to if you’re looking to find love.

To dive a little deeper into the traits of singles, we first looked at where the odds are in your favor when it comes to the guy-to-gal ratio. In our study, singles includes anyone who has never been married or was formerly married and age 21 or higher. A larger or smaller guy-to-gal ratio may tell you whether you’re more likely to be surrounded by men or women if you are sitting in a typical bar or restaurant.

  • Looking for men? Cities with the more single men to single women tended to be on the West Coast rather than the East Coast. Specifically, the San Francisco Bay Area – which includes both the San Francisco and San Jose metro areas have some of the highest single men to single women ratios. But it will cost you – these are two of the priciest markets in the nation and the center of Silicon Valley. If those markets are too rich for your blood, consider Bakersfield, Calif., which took the lead in the ranking of where men outnumber women, as well as Salt Lake City and Las Vegas.
  • Where are all the single ladies? Look to Sarasota, Fla.; Birmingham, Ala.; and Winston-Salem, N.C., which had the highest ratios of single women to single men. But if you’re looking for a big city option, Philadelphia and New York had the 8th and 9th highest single women to single men ratios.
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Next, we looked at the age range – 20s, 30s, and 40s – of these singles for each metro, broken down by gender.

  • If you’re looking for a mate just hitting the Dirty Thirty era, you should head to San Francisco, Austin, Texas, Salt Lake City, Las Vegas or Los Angeles.
  • On the other hand, Upstate New York metros such as Rochester, Buffalo, Albany, and Syracuse have a very low percentage of single adults in their thirties. Same goes for metros in neighboring states, Akron, Ohio and Montgomery County, Pa.
  • Looking for a date that Taylor Swift would describe as “happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time?” Madison, Wis.; Virginia Beach, Va.; San Diego; Colorado Springs, Colo.; and El Paso, Texas have some of the highest share of single adults who are in their twenties.
  • Meanwhile, six Florida metros Sarasota, Daytona Beach, Cape Coral, Tampa, West Palm Beach, and Fort Lauderdale have some of the smallest share of singles in their twenties.
  • Want someone who’s firmly adulting? Move to places such as Winston-Salem, Indianapolis, Detroit, Atlanta, Greensboro, N.C.; Las Vegas, or Miami where you’ll find more singles in their 40s.

When it comes to education, are you looking for someone who’s book smart or street smart?

  • If you are sapiosexual—someone who’s attracted to intelligent people—the data shows that you should move to San Francisco, Silver Spring, Md., Washington D.C., Cambridge, Mass., or San Jose. These metros have some of the highest percentage of single men and women with at least a college degree or graduate degree.
  • If lack of a diploma isn’t a deal breaker, then inland California might be the place to go. Riverside, Fresno, and Bakersfield has some of the lowest percentages of single adults with a college degree.

Methodology

2014 5-year US Census American Community Survey data gathered via IPUMS-USA at the University of Minnesota were used for this study. For the quiz, we restricted the data to non-married adults with at least a high school degree and aged 21 or older, but younger than 50. There were two underlying factors that determined which metro is the most suitable for the quiz taker. The first factor was the single adult male to single adult female ratio. The second factor was what percentage of the single adult male or female population fit your demographic criteria specified by one’s quiz answers. Rankings of the 100 metro areas based on these two respective factors were used in order to generate a final ranking that is tailored to the quiz takers’ preferences. For the explanation portion of this report that comes after the quiz, the data includes all those who are 21 years of age or over and are currently non-married unless specified otherwise.

LINX LOVE: UAE + Palo Alto

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We are pleased to announce a recent Linx match–across continents. Linx Dating was recently tapped to make an introduction for an especially discerning VIP candidate from the Emirates. Our boutique firm led the search for the woman who met the client’s specific criteria and, in a short time, we made an introduction based on mutual compatibility.

As a distinguished leader in his country, our client’s time was in high demand. Travel, investments, and family responsibilities made his search for a serious, compatible partner increasingly difficult. Without time to waste, our client entrusted Linx with the search for the love of his life.

After conducting a series of meetings stateside, Founder and CEO, Amy Andersen, helped our client decide what he most valued in a partner. The ideal match would not only have an a Stanford University degree, she would be family focused and professionally ambitious.

Our client also preferred feminine women with a healthy physique and natural curves. Equipped with a specific picture of the client’s needs, Linx made a series of highly curated introductions. Each introduction helped us get closer to the right match; our efforts have helped our client find the partner—and relationship—he had been waiting for!

No stranger to high profile clients, Linx employs discretion always. We were able to conduct a search, make introductions, and exceed our client’s expectations without compromising our client’s privacy. We pride ourselves on keeping our clients’ personal lives private as we cast wide nets to find ideal matches.

After only having a few dates with his final match, our VIP client and his beautiful Stanford educated match tied the knot in a very private ceremony in Arabic abroad with only close family witnessing. We are thrilled at yet another success story and congratulate the very happy couple as they embark on their life together!

Curious how Linx Dating can change your life? Contact Amy here.

 

Announcing International Female Searching For Worldly and Spontaneous Match….

We are excited to announce a search for a sexy, intellectual, and worldly 34-year old European woman who is physically 5’8” with long soft blond hair, brown almond eyes, and a slender, model-like physique. Our client grew up in Russia and was educated in Chile and Sweden. She left her native country when she was twenty and lived in Chile, Sweden, UK, and Italy since then.

After searching the four corners of the world, she decided upon the middle path – to split her time between a place in paradise, she currently resides on a Caribbean island, traveling the world and perhaps a global center of gravity — economic, intellectual, social, cultural – is what she is looking for.

Our client is a true entrepreneur involving herself in real estate projects on her island while enjoying boutiques hotels in historic places…ruined monasteries, old castles, caravansaries, caves…something with character and soul. This passion led her into a life changing adventure and investment.

She now co-owns a former early 18th century sugar plantation estate, which soon will open its doors as a boutique hotel and as a graceful residence. Although she is based in the Caribbean, our client is a global citizen and looks forward to hoping on a flight to explore conversation and chemistry. She’s open-minded, flexible, incredibly warmhearted, and leads her life with integrity and passion.

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Her ideal match 35-48 years old and is someone who thinks big, sees the world as his canvas, and finds excitement in the prospect of living between countries. While our client is based in Caribbean and is prepared to travel to the US to meet a match, she hopes that her ideal suited candidate is willing to see the value in international travel and have a job/lifestyle that affords him the freedom to be a master of his own while his Muse is taking her green energy, educational and hospitality projects forward in one of the smallest countries in the world.

As she is committed to be a good wife and a mother raising children in a holistic and cosmopolitan environment she’d love her partner to share the same vision – not in theory but really diving headfirst into the abyss and being able to be a leader and creator of their own world.

Her best suited match is an alpha male, worldly, and supportive (of her dreams). He balances his strength with an easy going temperament, spontaneity, and appreciates a feminine woman. He is accomplished and has the time to be able to throw himself into this incredible adventure that lays ahead with an international and incredibly passionate woman!

If you or anyone you know is interested in being considered as a candidate for this opportunity, please email our founder Amy at: amy@linxdating.com

8 Things Gentlemen Do on First Dates

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The point of the first date is to discover if there’s real compatibility beyond initial interest. If she’s already said yes, consider yourself off to a good start. If you want to give yourself the best chances of romantic connection—or even a second date—consider the chivalrous route. Here are 8 things gentleman do on first dates that prove chivalry is not dead.

Suggest a first date in a place convenient for her.

Instead of suggesting the restaurant or bar closest to you, you ask what is most convenient for her. Your asking demonstrates consideration and shows that you are willing and able to make her life easier—a feeling that will ultimately make her feel more relaxed during the first date. Same logic applies when you ask about any food allergies or preferences she has. Any research you do before the date will benefit you exponentially.

Observe the 4 p.m. deadline.

If you have plans tonight, text or call to confirm your date by 4 p.m. Many women start wondering if the date is still on, especially if a few days pass between the ask and the event. A short text to the effect of, “Looking forward to seeing you tonight. Let me know if we need to adjust the timing” will keep everyone on the same page.

Mind your (table) manners.

Follow behind as you make your way to the table; she should not be walking in your wake. When you get to the table, ask if you can help her check her coat. At the table, let her order first. Letting her take the lead shows that you are want to make sure her needs are met before yours. This simple gesture is another way you can ensure she is comfortable. Lastly, always encourage a glance at the dessert menu. There’s nothing more sexy than indulging in the senses and enjoying the rich decadence of chocolate.  Even if you’re not a dessert guy, order one to share.

Introduce her.

Should you run into friends on your date, be sure to introduce your date without saying “my friend”. There is no need for an extensive introduction, but you must acknowledge your date if a friend says hello. You could say, “I’d like you to meet [date’s name]. We were both excited to try this place.”

Mind the Drinking.

Pay attention to what she orders and offer a refill when the glass is empty- same principal goes for her water glass. Even though your nerves may want to order a third drink, stick to a two-drink maximum. Slurring your words is not classy.

Pay the bill.

That’s right. Let’s keep this equation simple. Be prepared to foot the bill and keep any conversation surrounding this transaction to a minimum. If she offers to pay, politely decline and change the subject. Paying for her is a sign of interest and shows that you are happily willing to invest when you have feelings. If you both continue to date, it’s very appropriate for her to reciprocate at some point but definitely not on date one.

Offer to get an Uber for her.

When a simple gesture that takes 2 minutes can make all the difference, you should do it. Let her know that you’re interested in getting her home safely, whether that means you ping Uber or offer to drive her yourself.

Close out the evening with a text.

There is nothing gentlemanly about leaving a lady to wonder if she’ll hear from you again. Thank her for her time and company and, if you want to see her again, let her know. Be confident in your actions and consistent with your communications to the woman you’re interested in.

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What is Cuffing Season and Why Does It Matter?

With holidays approaching, you may find yourself wanting a relationship more than usual. As the days get shorter and the weather cools down, singles are looking for a relationship that will tie them over the next few months, but perhaps not endure into the spring. This heightened desire for a semi permanent relationship occurs during “Cuffing Season”.

Cuffing season begins during that stretch of fall when the weather begins to cool off and everyone you know starts coupling up. It specifically describes the desire to couple up or “cuff” ourselves to a partner during the chilly months—and stay together until spring. The trend is undeniable, but what causes it? Is this preference to cozy up just a preference or are we biologically engineered to get monogamous during the cooler months?

Is “Cuffing Season” actually real?

Short answer is yes—winters yield a higher rate of conception; spring yields changes to Facebook relationship statuses. When Hinge, a popular dating app, polled users, they discovered that men were 15% more likely to look for a relationship in the winter than any other season. Women were 5% more interested in a monogamous relationship, too.

Is “Cuffing Season” the result of biological impulses?

Experts agree that although people tend to pair up during winter months, the urge to couple up is not substantiated by any biological impulse. In fact, humans have evolved to a point beyond mating seasons. Scientists note that humans associate cold temperatures with loneliness, which could prompt the urge to get monogamous, but ultimately, the need to “cuff” ourselves to each other isn’t a biological or evolutionary response.

So, how do I handle the “Cuffing Season” urge?

Those urges to couple up aren’t easy to avoid. Between plus-one invites and fears of experiencing the holidays alone, you might find yourself approaching relationships from a place of neediness instead of real affection. Make sure the chemistry is real by taking any relationship you start this winter on the slow side. Gift giving, family travel, and plus one invites might add a little more complication to your dating life than usual. Don’t let the stress of the holidays rush your love life. Remember, spring is right around the corner.