Woodside dating

Harsh Truths: 6 Reasons Why Your Relationship Fell Apart

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Relationships end for a variety of reasons—some we can control, others we cannot. Before your next relationship, consider asking yourself if any of these issues are sabotaging your efforts at finding a deep, committed relationship.

 

  1. Your ex is STILL coming up

We all have a past, but when the past becomes the fodder of our present, you are creating a rift between you and your partner’s ability to connect. Talk of past relationships not only reveals that you’re not moving forward, it also jeopardizes your chances of a future. If you find yourself beginning sentences with “My ex and I…” or “When I dated X…” consider taking some time away from dating to understand why you’re still telling these stories.

 

  1. You couldn’t trust

It’s no surprise that trust is the crux of all healthy relationships; without the bond of trust, a couple will miss an opportunity to experience true intimacy. Aside from cheating, trust issues can also indicate jealousy, game playing, and possessiveness.

 

If relationships have ended because you couldn’t trust, ask yourself if it was because of actual events (i.e. your partner lied to you, broke promises, hacked into your phone) or if you are feeling unable to trust without cause (i.e. you feel jealous even though your partner has never strayed). Being able to differentiate feelings that stem from actual events versus unsubstantiated paranoia will help you uncover barriers to intimacy.

 

  1. You were Mr./Mrs. Right Now, not Mr./Mrs. Right

The relationship is guaranteed to fail if you find yourself on either side of this equation. Not all relationships are built to last—and that doesn’t make them any less important to our growth—but if you are looking for a life partner, meeting someone who is open to the same is crucial for long-term success.

 

If you are with someone until you land your dream job, move, lose weight, or meet someone better, you are wasting your time and your partner’s time. If your partner is not your priority, you aren’t ready for an enduring long-term relationship. If you’re wondering if you’re the top priority—you’re not.

 

  1. You harbor contempt

Dr. John Gottman, a leading expert on couples’ studies, concluded that the single, best predictor of divorce is contempt. Contempt, a toxic combo of anger, disgust and frustration, stems from a superiority complex. When we are unable to see our partner’s point of view because we believe they are less intelligent, sensitive, or competent than we are, we are making it impossible to communicate about the things that bother us.

 

In addition to contempt, there were three other closely related patterns of toxic communication: criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling (shutting down, no eye contact, etc.)

  1. You were emotionally dependent

If you are unable to make yourself happy, you will always seek someone who can distract you from the uncomfortable feelings you have towards yourself. Not only is it unfair to expect your partner to keep you afloat, it’s dangerous to allow someone else to hold the keys to your happiness. Codependent people usually don’t keep high standards when it comes to how others treat them, so it’s more likely that they end up with a partner who doesn’t treat them well. There are many ways to heal from codependency, but they all start with a belief that you—and you alone—can make yourself happy.

 

  1. You stopped appreciating your partner

A lack of appreciation comes in many forms. Perhaps you’ve stopped making an effort—to make fun plans, to keep up your appearance, to remind your partner how special they are. Taking someone for granted is a quick way to kill the romance and up the apathy.

 

When someone is asking what is best for “us”, compromise ensues. If you stop appreciating your partner’s efforts, it’s easy to stop asking “What is best for us?” and replacing it with “What is best for me?”

 

Of course not all reasons our relationships end are because we are at fault. Without the right timing, otherwise compatible people won’t be able to connect for reasons outside of their control. Age, seemingly just a number, will start to matter if he’s 28 finishing grad school and she’s 34 looking forward to starting a family. Life situations can also affect our chances of connection. If he’s ready to move things forward while she’s healing post divorce, the couple will not be able to connect on the same level. Situations can change, broken hearts can heal, and different phases can pass, but if the timing is going to be ‘off’ for more than a few months, it is better to make a clean break and revisit at another time.

 

Laid back Silicon Valley retiree seeks feminine and adventurous match!

Our Caucasian bachelor is a smart and down-to-earth Southern gentleman who’s 51 and resides in Silicon Valley. He is 5’11”, brown hair with flecks of grey, and hazel eyes.  He has youthful good looks, a bright white smile, and sun kissed skin.

After spending nearly a decade in LA in the entertainment business, he made the move to Northern California in the mid- 90’s to work in the Internet space as an executive. Despite his success, you will find this candidate to be remarkably low key and someone who deemphasizes prioritization on material things, and keeping up with the Joneses.

Entrepreneurship and leadership were his two main characteristics for over 10 years building, launching and selling various companies.  For the past 8+ years he has been consulting and investing in companies as well as focusing on his teenage children, while serving on various boards.

Passions in life outside of his beautiful kids include: international travel (soon on his list is Italy with his extended family), playing tennis, seeing friends, dining, and adventures near and far. You will find this candidates personality to be very outgoing and at the same time balanced with an easy going demeanor. He is giving, open, honest, and straightforward. This candidate wants to laugh with you, have fun with you, and avoid drama and ego at all costs!

He is best matched to a woman between 35-48 years old who takes pride in keeping a healthy and active lifestyle. She’s feminine, stylish, and attractive.

Friends would describe her as: social, smart, fun, adventurous, passionate, creative, ambitious, and balanced. She’s drawn to intellectual pursuits and while she’s self-sufficient, she has the time for a vibrant relationship and is interested in enjoying life to its fullest! She prioritizes family, intellectual pursuits, and any chance to travel with her partner.

If you or anyone you know might make a great match for our desirable bachelor, please email Amy at: amy@linxdating.com. No fees for qualifying candidates.

What is Cuffing Season and Why Does It Matter?

With holidays approaching, you may find yourself wanting a relationship more than usual. As the days get shorter and the weather cools down, singles are looking for a relationship that will tie them over the next few months, but perhaps not endure into the spring. This heightened desire for a semi permanent relationship occurs during “Cuffing Season”.

Cuffing season begins during that stretch of fall when the weather begins to cool off and everyone you know starts coupling up. It specifically describes the desire to couple up or “cuff” ourselves to a partner during the chilly months—and stay together until spring. The trend is undeniable, but what causes it? Is this preference to cozy up just a preference or are we biologically engineered to get monogamous during the cooler months?

Is “Cuffing Season” actually real?

Short answer is yes—winters yield a higher rate of conception; spring yields changes to Facebook relationship statuses. When Hinge, a popular dating app, polled users, they discovered that men were 15% more likely to look for a relationship in the winter than any other season. Women were 5% more interested in a monogamous relationship, too.

Is “Cuffing Season” the result of biological impulses?

Experts agree that although people tend to pair up during winter months, the urge to couple up is not substantiated by any biological impulse. In fact, humans have evolved to a point beyond mating seasons. Scientists note that humans associate cold temperatures with loneliness, which could prompt the urge to get monogamous, but ultimately, the need to “cuff” ourselves to each other isn’t a biological or evolutionary response.

So, how do I handle the “Cuffing Season” urge?

Those urges to couple up aren’t easy to avoid. Between plus-one invites and fears of experiencing the holidays alone, you might find yourself approaching relationships from a place of neediness instead of real affection. Make sure the chemistry is real by taking any relationship you start this winter on the slow side. Gift giving, family travel, and plus one invites might add a little more complication to your dating life than usual. Don’t let the stress of the holidays rush your love life. Remember, spring is right around the corner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Announcing our San Francisco Restaurant Entrepreneur Client Search….

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We are thrilled to announce a new search for a dynamic and marriage minded client. Our bachelor is a highly successful, passionate 39 year-old Caucasian restaurant entrepreneur. He’s 6’1” with a slender and athletic build. He works out regularly, has short brown hair, hazel eyes and an infectious smile.

Our client is passionate about food and fitness, and loves to travel. He attended UCLA for undergraduate and business school, and has lived abroad extensively in Spain, Japan and Italy and speaks all three languages! He is an avid golfer, and enjoys weekend trips to Napa, and even spontaneous trips to Hawaii to relax and take a break from his busy lifestyle.

Social and family oriented, he has a strong ability to put others at ease through humor and his compassionate nature. You will also find our bachelor to be introspective and with depth. He meditates regularly and is grateful for all that he has in life.

Ever dream of a man who knows how to cook? Look no further! This bachelor loves to cook all different types of food, checking out new restaurants in the Bay Area and all over the world when able. He is intelligent, caring and kind and has a great sense of humor.

His dream match would be between the ages of 26 and 32 years old, passionate about food, fitness and travel. She could see herself spending a month or two in Europe each year with her leading man! He is attracted most to Caucasian and European women who are slender and fit, feminine and classy, with a warm and compassionate heart. Our client is looking for someone who is excited to travel the world with him and also enjoy each day at home, ultimately with a family and a dog. 🙂

Deal breakers include: she doesn’t like traveling, hates dogs, has kids, doesn’t want kids, vegetarian (he enjoys meat), not compassionate,

If you or anyone you know thinks you might be a good match, please don’t hesitate to email founder and matchmaker Amy at: amy@linxdating.com.

Would you like to receive a SIX DIGIT bonus this year?

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Would you like to receive a SIX DIGIT bonus this year? Linx Dating has just signed a new international uber VIP who has authorized me to give a generous bonus to anyone who can ultimately connect him to his dream girl!

This guy is serious about finding love. If you are connected to single women who are 24-33 years old, Ivy/Stanford grads only, TALL as in 5’9”+, email me ASAP to learn more about this extremely exciting opportunity.

Read more here about our client: http://www.linxdating.com/featured-vip-2 Also, after reading the description, if you happen to qualify as his type of girl and want to throw your name in the hat as a candidate, by all means! Thank you all! email: amy@linxdating.com

International World-Class VIP Search

silhouettes of camels at sunsetWe are thrilled to announce a VIP search for an international gentleman in his late 20’s who represents the merits that the Linx network has been built upon. He’s the eldest sibling from a large globally-minded family, and he splits his time between California, the Middle East and Switzerland.

Our client stands 5’10” and will sweep you off your feet with his jet black hair, gorgeous dark brown eyes, fit physique and inviting smile. While he leads a healthy life abstaining from smoking, alcohol, tea, or coffee, he is completely open-minded and comfortable around social drinkers.

You will find our client to be patient, down-to-earth, compassionate, responsible, liberal, loyal, determined and intellectually curious. He enjoyed earning his undergraduate degree from a leading university in the United States and continues to have a strong thirst for knowledge.

While our client is an introvert at heart, he has learned to become more outgoing to excel in his professional life. Up until this point, our VIP has been 100% focused on his career and fiduciary responsibilities in his country, so it is only now that he is extremely motivated and excited to find the love of his life!

An old-fashioned romantic, our client told us he will know within the first few minutes whether or not he has met his wife. He views marriage as a lifelong partnership and looks forward to supporting his future wife’s career goals and dreams.

Career-wise, he has outperformed most people decades older than him in terms of achievements and success at such a young age. While a large percentage of his focus is in the hospitality sector, he is deeply invested in technology in both Israel and Silicon Valley. His love affair with investing will continue throughout his life, but now his focus is on the most important investment of all – an investment into his heart and finding his one true love!

Outside of work, our VIP loves all water sports, luxury travel, reading, socializing, philanthropy, family, the outdoors and fitness.

Who is our clients dream match? His ideal match is 20-33 years old, 5’8”+ (height is a plus for our client), Caucasian, and naturally voluptuous. He appreciates a woman’s natural beauty without a lot of make-up. She has beautiful, feminine curves and a healthy appearance. 2016-04-Linx-Dating-Stanford-Postcard-01 copy

Our client finds intelligent and accomplished women to be very desirable, and he would prefer to date someone who has graduated from Stanford University or the Ivies. Maybe she is in graduate school now at Stanford.

At her core, she is loving, family centric, smart, poised, loyal, and incredibly sweet. She looks forward to an extraordinary life with a world class man and building a loving, strong family together.

If you or anyone you know might make the perfect match for this VIP, please submit your information here.

There are NO fees for qualified candidates to meet our client. 

Egg Freezing Part 2: When should I tell my partner?

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There’s a shift in every woman’s life when they go from doing everything in their power to prevent pregnancy to desperately trying to preserve and fertilize their eggs before time runs out. As discussed in last month’s blog post, egg freezing is becoming a popular choice for women who want to take their fertility into their own hands on their own timeline. Many women who have frozen their eggs report feeling more confident and at ease when dating, but when is the best time to let your date know that your eggs are on ice?

Don’t blurt it out on every first date

Egg freezing is a new concept, so many men, especially those who don’t live in urban centers, are completely clueless about it. Some women in their late 30s and 40s reported feeling the need to tell every man they meet that they are still able to have children since they have frozen their eggs, but the men we surveyed said that sharing this in the first few dates is not necessary and can ruin the mood. You don’t want every first date to turn into a medical lecture.

Share it with someone you care about

Freezing your eggs is a big decision you have made, or are thinking about making, for yourself. The procedure takes a lot of time, energy and money, and speaks volumes about how much you value having the option to have your own children. This is a beautiful gift you can give to a loving, committed partner when the time is right. Most of the men we surveyed said that egg freezing is a smart choice that they respect and admire. It can give couples the time they need to figure out if they are meant to be or not before rushing into having children.

Wait until the topic of children comes up

Learning about your partners’ views on having children can be an immediate deal breaker or can bring you closer together. If you have frozen, or are considering freezing your eggs, having children is likely very important to you. If you want kids and your partner doesn’t, you should have the breakup conversation instead of the egg freezing conversation. People very rarely change their minds about wanting to have kids. If he also wants kids, this is the perfect time to tell him that you’ve frozen your eggs. He will probably be thrilled to share in your commitment to having a family.

Tread lightly

Have a plan before the topic comes up and understand what you want out of the conversation. Carefully explain to your partner why you are considering or have already frozen your eggs. Chances are your partner knows little to nothing about egg freezing and will have a lot of questions. Several men have reported feeling threatened by knowing that their partner can have children whenever and with whomever they choose. Communicate gently and be aware of his feelings.

The timing and delivery of this personal information will vary by relationship, but we felt compelled to share some general guidelines since this question has come up a lot recently. Whether you are thinking about freezing or have frozen your eggs, it is a big decision that you should share with your partner when the time is right.