What to Wear

Why isn’t he asking me out again?

Have you ever been on a first date that you thought went great to later find out that Mr. Wonderful didn’t call you again? Paranoia can kick in, wondering if you are the one responsible for the outcome.  Here are a few reasons that we hear at Linx as to why guys don’t ask their dates out again and how you can go from dating purgatory to dating bliss.

-Her look is intimidating  (examples include: she wears bright red lipstick, or dresses almost ‘too together’ looking, she wears too much make-up…)

Our advice is wear basic make-up on the date and never wear red lips (men can’t visualize kissing red lips no matter how perfect your pout. Opt for a sheer pink, or neutral instead. Save the red lips once you are in a relationship. The look is too harsh.)  For make-up think: sheer pressed powder or sheer foundation, a little concealer under the eyes, neutral eye shadow, basic eye liner if needed, mascera, and finally sheer lips. 

For clothing, it’s so specific depending on the context of the date, but a good rule of thumb is to dress nice but not a look that screams high maintenance (example is wearing outwardly designer labels head to toe. LV purse, Dior logo jacket, Burberry pants, Hermes belt!). Less is more! Also, don’t wear black. Men are like hummingbirds and respond well to color. Color is approachable. Black is for date 5+ and certainly once in the relationship! 

With all of this said, we don’t think anyone should change themselves for a guy. If he’s truly intimidated by you, he probably isn’t worth your time.

-She competed with me

If a female exerts herself on the date by name dropping the schools she went to, her connections socially and professionally, and spewing her resume, guys might be impressed but it’s not what they want to hear on a first date. Like our advice above about softening the look to appear more approachable, the same principle applies to the conversation you have on your date.

This isn’t about hiding your accomplishments or lying about your goals, instead it’s about sharing surface level information, perhaps scratching the surface on date one conversationally until you’ve built some trust. When women focus the majority of conversation on business or academic pedigree on the date, many men place her in the friend zone bucket…instead of the future Mrs bucket. She’s “one of the guys” or just doesn’t “get” accentuating one’s femininity and revealing a warmer energy- which appeals to men of all ages, heritages, and personality types. Be the woman that men want to be around, not the type who feels the need to prove herself.

 

It’s all about the necklace!

It girls everywhere know that being on-trend and current means standing out from the crowd with a showstopper necklace. I always advise my Linx lady clients to be bold and accessorize their date ensembles with a statement piece. A necklace doesn’t have to be expensive at all. In fact, you can browse ebay to discover fierce necklaces for under $10! Let the jaws drop…especially on a date!

Dolling it up….Kentucky Derby Style

The Kentucky Derby is a time honored tradition and there will no doubt be an abundance of viewing parties this weekend.  Whether you are attending a party or one of the lucky ones who will be at the actual derby, you must be outfitted accordingly.   Kentucky Derby

The San Francisco Guardmen are throwing a fabulous derby inspired soiree called “Run for the Roses” on May 4th from 1:00pm-6:00pm at 1 Fort Mason in San Francisco. Guests of this private soirée will enjoy a delectable spread of appetizers and traditional southern food, while all proceeds will go to benefit at-risk Bay Area youth.

There are a several routes you can take apparel wise, but we all know that it’s all about the hat. Wide brimmed solid hats, adorned hats, fascinators, and fedoras are all solid choices.  Choose the one that compliments your personality best. We suggest picking the hat first and building your outfit around it.

We found two great collections of Kentucky Derby hats, one from JenniferDawn84 (pictured above) on Polyvore and another on PatterPulp.HatsHatsHats

A wide brimmed floral adorned hat with a solid color dress and spectator heels is sure to be a crowd pleaser. KentuckyDerbyOutfit1

If you opt for a floral dress, we recommend keeping the hat simple and solid. For a gender bender twist (and our favorite!), try a seersucker shorts suit paired back to a panama straw hat.  KentuckyDerby Outfit 2

Need some derby day inspiration for your guy, we love this photo from the art of manliness.Gentlemans Attire

If you don’t feel like heading to the Guardsmen party, throw your own last minute festive soiree in your backyard or apartment complex pool-side. Southern Living has some great Derby inspired ideas and delicious recipes to play with. 05.5.08

Call  your best girls over for either a girlie day with hats, heels, and mint julep drinks or get consider getting creative having each of them bring a single guy as their guest. Dolly as they say….let the races begin! 

Mint_Julep2-5-1024x1024

Written by Camilla, celebrity stylist for Tog + Porter with creative dating ideas from Amy Andersen of Linx Dating.

 

Weekend Getaway with the Beau!

When your beau asked you to meet his parents, butterflies rumbled in your stomach….you were excited, a little nervous, elated, and the sound of Vivaldi’s Four Seasons flooded your mind…a wedding in the future perhaps?

Luckily you had the perfect ensemble to wear thanks to Tog + Porter’s Meeting the Parents style guide. Classy, feminine, and lady-like. You nailed it and remembered that the most important thing in preparing to meet the parents is to simply be yourself. Brunch with his parents was delightful and so fun! He was at ease, his parents down-to-earth and excited to meet you, and you felt like a princess.

The following day he shared that his parents absolutely loved you and have invited the two of you up to their Lake Tahoe lake house for a weekend getaway. An invitation to spend more time with his parents and immerse yourself in their world seemed to be the absolute perfect timing. How lovely!

The week leading up to the lake getaway you pamper yourself with pretty ballet slipper polish for a mani/pedi, waxed in all the right places, highlights and a cut, and a spray tan for any time spent on the lake. The Mr. shares to pack casual but said there would be a lakeside BBQ oyster shucking party with his parent’s neighbors the first night, boating on the lake the next day, followed by an intimate dinner at the house and dominoes fireside with after dinner drinks.

Casual isn’t really in your vocabulary and as much as you love your walks in nature, heading to “the woods” isn’t necessarily as easy as it seems for a city girl! Channeling your inner Carrie Bradshaw you put on the episode of Sex and the City where Carrie visits Aidan’s country cottage. Aidan-and-Carrie

You hope to fare better than Carrie did when she visited Aidan’s cabin. Clearly, comfort is key, but you don’t want to compromise your keen fashion sense that he has grown so fond of.

Not only do you need to plan some cute outfits but you also want to bring his parents a nice little gift to say Thank You for the lovely invitation and weekend at their lake house. What to get them that is a kind gesture but still not trying too hard?

And considering that you don’t know what their lake house is like at all or his mother’s discerning taste, the pressure is on. You do know that his parents are East Coast types who moved out to San Francisco ten years ago for his father’s job in private equity. Like father, like son. His parents definitely are on the more conservative side and money no object.

You also want to surprise your beau with a little something unexpected…. afterall, it is your 6 month anniversary that Saturday! We understand how any girl can feel a little overwhelmed by this scenario, which is why we sent an S.O.S. over to our friends at Tog + Porter for some outfit ideas. Stylist Camilla Basse broke it down for us and gave us suggestions for each activity on the trip.

For the oyster roast, she suggests your favorite and most comfortable pair of boyfriend jeans, a classic white button-down and a cozy sweater.Oyster Party

On day 2, a chambray button-down, your beloved go to denim shorts and metallic boating shoes for the boat excursion. Wear your new summer bathing suit (and sunscreen) underneath she says.BoatinginLakeTahoe

For dinner, Camilla says you can wear the same chambray top from earlier back to a white cotton or lace skirt or go for sleeveless plaid or tribal print top with your denim shorts. Intimate Dinner

She also says one statement piece is always a good idea. And, nothing says statement piece like a beaded shirt toned down and made cabin appropriate with denim.

With your packing list complete, it’s time to set out on what is destined to be one weekend to remember.

As for the gifts, you know him best, but us gals here at T+P think a picnic basket tote from Brookstone for his parents would make a useful, yet thoughtful gift for future boating trips. If they already have something of the sorts, a monogrammed Pendleton wool blanket is always a winner.

Need help packing for an upcoming getaway? One of Tog + Porter’s amazing stylists would love to help you. You can even schedule an appointment with Camilla by simply clicking here.

Valentine’s Date Scenario II: Adventurous and Quirky

hope you enjoyed the outfits our friends at Tog + Porter put together for my ‘Over the Moon For You’ date.  This next date I gave them is for a very different couple, dating scenario and relationship status. This young couple is on their second date, so while booking a date on Valentine’s definitely indicates a strong mutual interest, it’s best they keep things light and fun. Adventurous_Quirky

He takes his match to the House of Air trampoline park in San Francisco for some jumping around for this Valentine’s Day. Her hearts aflutter with the date invitation, but what does a girl wear for something so sporty and active? He suggests cocktails and sushi in Cow Hollow to follow. She wants to be perceived as low maintenance and wants the transition from bouncing around at the park into dinner date to be smooth sailing.

They are in the early stages of dating, so she isn’t at the comfort level of fully being herself and “requiring” 20 minutes to freshen up back at his pad post park romp. She knows he will probably be in a freshly washed hoodie and jeans but doesn’t want to dress like a nerd too. One drink leads to two, two to three and tummies full with delicious sushi.

She makes a bold move inviting him to her home for date three to cook together. She’s never been one to “ask a guy out” but it’s 2013 and for her, there are no “rules.” He accepts and leans over for a kiss! She loves how quirky he is and he loves how confident she is. He tells her he thinks her outfit is super cute and was impressed how low maintenance she is compared to other girls. She nods and grins.

Before they can help find the perfect outfit for this young lady, the stylists at Tog + Porter said they would need a little more info about her. They wanted answers to all the questions they’d ask in one of their face-to-face Skype style consults. What’s a normal day look like for her? What’s her budget? Style goals? Of course, I would know all of this about any of my clients, so I rattled off a plausible profile.

She’s in marketing by day and typically opts for casual skirts, trousers and day dresses. Her budget is more J Crew than Neiman Marcus and up to this point, she has relied on her mom to take her out shopping for a lot of her wardrobe since her salary is rather modest.

Her date is a super lax “Silicon Valley geek” coder type who opts for Zuck-like hoodies, jeans, and flip flops pretty much every time she has ever seen him. He’s cute but she never thought she’d be so into a guy so laid back in his style. She needs to look cute yet super comfortable doing her lemon drops and channeling her ‘perfect 10′ Nadia Comaneci moves.Adventurous_Quirky_Option 1

Flying high doesn’t mean you have to leave cute and flirtatious at home. We love the feminine fit and flare of this adorable peplum jersey top paired with easy and memorable red straight leg pants and notice-me shoes. Since we know this client is budget conscience, we’ve broken down the total cost of the look: Peplum Top: $59, Maria Pants: $98, Sam Edelman Flats: $105, Bijouterie Bracelet: $25, BCBG Handbag: $98. Total cost: $385.

This second look is more relaxed in an effortlessly sexy kind of way. It’s based around an off-the-shoulder tunic sweater in a breathtaking hue paired with dark skinnies and an easy on and off bootie, topped off with a touch of glam. Wearing a tank or cami underneath is a good idea, just in case you break a sweat doing toe-touches. And even if the tunic never comes off, a peek of lace never hurts.Adventurous_Quirky_Option2

 

Again, they’ve broken down the cost of each item like they would in any T+P shipment: Wide Neck Tunic Sweater: $79, Multi Stone Necklace: $39, Paige Skyline Straight Skinnies: $169, Lace Cami $23, Dolce Vita Ankle boot: $159. Total Cost: $469.

Like what you see? Let the stylists at Tog + Porter help you look your best for any occasion. If you want help with your Valentine’s Day outfit, be sure and sign up ASAP as time is running out. Similarly, if you are a guy who wants to totally outsource your dating, ping me. I’m happy to be your romantic concierge 

Still struggling on what to do for Valentine’s? Did you read Date Scenario I for a classic night out on the town? Also, stay tuned for Date Scenario III: My House for Dinner. Coming Soon!

Valentine’s Date Scenario One : Over the Moon for You!

With Valentine’s Day less than 21 days away (where does the time go?) we thought we’d remind you to start thinking about how you plan to spend the day.

We were delighted when our friends at Tog + Porter offered their help on coming up with feminine and flirty outfit ideas. In fact, they even took it a step further and asked me to come up with specific date scenarios for them.

Together, we’ll be posting three distinct dates, each with a different relationship status and of course outfit! They recently posted the first date “Over the Moon for You” in the style guide section of their site.

OvertheMoon

 

Here’s the scenario I gave them: 

He’s a total romantic and rolls out the red carpet for his lady that he now calls his girlfriend. He tells her to dress up in a cocktail dress and heels for a night on the town. Her style by day is a bit of a risk taker, downtown chic combined with lots of patterns, textures, and obscure designers. She is the type to splurge on a few very pricey items each year and find fabulous bargains on others.

On Valentine’s, his driver arrives at her condo and he greets her with a stunning bouquet of her favorite flowers. The couple heads to Bix for live jazz and the perfect kir royales. Although she always says she doesn’t want one, he suggests her favorite “off the menu” mini truffled grilled cheeses for an appetizer. Is this guy a keeper or what?

Dinner follows and he surprises her with savory and sweet soufflés at Cafe Jacqueline in North Beach to share. The driver takes them back to her apartment where he walks her to the door. He pulls out a red box in his coat pocket. Not an engagement ring yet (too soon!) but a stunning Cartier gold love bracelet. She’s over the moon! He’s thrilled he lucked out on such a gorgeous catch!  An incredible kiss follows and an ‘I love you’ via text 5 minutes later.

So what’s a gal to wear on such a date? Here’s what Tog + Porter came up with: OvertheMoonOption1 copy

Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to wear a flirty red cocktail dress. This dress can be worn two different ways. First, it can be paired back to this Veda leather jacket (obscure designer), lace booties (texture/pattern), and a classic black clutch. Or it can be paired back to tone on tone black polka dot tights (texture/pattern), simple black pumps, and again the classic black clutch.

The second look, which includes a bronze peplum dress (textured fabric/on trend with the peplum) can also be worn two ways. It can be worn with opaque tights and booties for a bit of edge, or sans tights and just the classic peep-toe. OvertheMoonOption2

The studded heart bag is just the right amount of embellishment where it can stand on it’s own or easily compliment a lovely Valentine’s gift.

Need help putting together your Valentine’s Day outfit? Tog + Porter can help. Sign up for a style consult today. Need help coming up with date ideas, give me a ring. Also stay tuned for my two other dates scenarios: Adventurous and Quirky and Come to My House for Dinner. Coming Soon! XO