Have you ever been on a first date that you thought went great to later find out that Mr. Wonderful didn’t call you again? Paranoia can kick in, wondering if you are the one responsible for the outcome. Here are a few reasons that we hear at Linx as to why guys don’t ask their dates out again and how you can go from dating purgatory to dating bliss.
-Her look is intimidating (examples include: she wears bright red lipstick, or dresses almost ‘too together’ looking, she wears too much make-up…)
Our advice is wear basic make-up on the date and never wear red lips (men can’t visualize kissing red lips no matter how perfect your pout. Opt for a sheer pink, or neutral instead. Save the red lips once you are in a relationship. The look is too harsh.) For make-up think: sheer pressed powder or sheer foundation, a little concealer under the eyes, neutral eye shadow, basic eye liner if needed, mascera, and finally sheer lips.
For clothing, it’s so specific depending on the context of the date, but a good rule of thumb is to dress nice but not a look that screams high maintenance (example is wearing outwardly designer labels head to toe. LV purse, Dior logo jacket, Burberry pants, Hermes belt!). Less is more! Also, don’t wear black. Men are like hummingbirds and respond well to color. Color is approachable. Black is for date 5+ and certainly once in the relationship!
With all of this said, we don’t think anyone should change themselves for a guy. If he’s truly intimidated by you, he probably isn’t worth your time.
-She competed with me
If a female exerts herself on the date by name dropping the schools she went to, her connections socially and professionally, and spewing her resume, guys might be impressed but it’s not what they want to hear on a first date. Like our advice above about softening the look to appear more approachable, the same principle applies to the conversation you have on your date.
This isn’t about hiding your accomplishments or lying about your goals, instead it’s about sharing surface level information, perhaps scratching the surface on date one conversationally until you’ve built some trust. When women focus the majority of conversation on business or academic pedigree on the date, many men place her in the friend zone bucket…instead of the future Mrs bucket. She’s “one of the guys” or just doesn’t “get” accentuating one’s femininity and revealing a warmer energy- which appeals to men of all ages, heritages, and personality types. Be the woman that men want to be around, not the type who feels the need to prove herself.
Time flies considering we are quickly approaching November. We had so much fun doing a wardrobe consultation for our male client at Neiman Marcus, Palo Alto a couple of months ago that we had to pay them another visit. The demand for ladies wardrobe consultation is high, especially with the holiday season approaching.
Every woman regardless of age whether she is fresh out of undergrad at Stanford or planning her 50th birthday wants to look fabulous.
What we love is that today’s modern woman doesn’t need to spend a fortune on looking good. She can incorporate a few key pieces into her wardrobe to spruce it up and feel confident in her everyday life.
Today, we are doing a wardrobe consultation for a woman in her late 40’s. She is an executive by day for a conservative financial firm and typically opts for business suits and closed pumps. Yet don’t let her fool you. She has a little rock ‘n’ roll going on with an edgy hair-cut and a wardrobe at home with some quality edgy yet sweet pieces. When she came to us for matchmaking we thought it would be a really nice change of pace to bump up her wardrobe with date appropriate clothing. Think…Confident. Sexy. Colorful. Fearless. Feminine.
When we mentioned doing a wardrobe consultation with her in our initial meet and greet she was very excited at the opportunity admitting she has very few date clothes. Like so many of our clients, she has been focused on work and her kids, placing dating on the back burner.
Neiman Marcus, Palo Alto graciously extended themselves and introduced us to one of their premier stylists, Dean Taylor, who radiated enthusiasm and expertise through and through.
Leading up to the consultation we worked behind the scenes with Dean to provide him with our clients’ measurements as well as her sense of style, comfort zone and general lifestyle. We agreed to nothing baggy and instead to focus on clothes that will instantly attract and importantly make our client feel totally gorgeous. In some cases elegant knee-length sheath dresses, trousers, pointy-toe heels, and playful details. Admittedly, we directed most of our energy on this session with lovely dresses.
Upon arrival at Neiman’s, Dean had put together an exquisite wardrobe filled with a wide range of different looks (rich jewel toned colors, lots of great figure flattering items, tasteful dresses for evening, pretty classic pumps, and playful colorful accessories from their new department CUSP.)
The way that Dean hand-picked the styles is to be able to have each piece seamlessly work together. In other words, a perfect marriage between day into evening clothing. Dean was spectacular to work with and totally “on it” from beginning to end, very responsive and professional.
We had so much fun sipping cappuccinos in a private consultation dressing room and watching our client transform before our eyes. Our client has a rockin’ body- a tiny little waist, no hips, long slender legs…that she was the perfect model.
She isn’t the type to necessarily opt for figure flattering clothes but we discovered Helmut Lang was the designer of choice for many her top picks. Two in particular worked amazing on her (one sleeveless ‘folded wool knit’ dress in red and one long sleeve print Helmut Lang asymmetrical dress which fit her body like a glove.) Accented with gorgeous mary jane Manolos..she looked like a million bucks. Here’s another Helmut Lang we love- ideal for after hours. Remember men go crazy over a woman in red! Juxtapose this look below with an edgy leather clutch and metallic heels. You will have him calling mama from the bathroom that he’s met ‘the one.’
Elie Tahari also provided to be a winner for our client on many levels. We’d place Tahari in the safe category- demure, ladylike, sweet, and slightly more conservative. Here is a Tahari we love….pair this with yellow satin heels for a seriously romantic, feminine look. What we love from CUSP by Neiman Marcus- great for any Linx lady’s wardrobe……
Triple Drop Thread Earrings – $68.00
Agate Pendant Necklace – $30.00 Amy’s top pic! (“This is ideal for a first date. Use it as an ice breaker in conversation, play with it, flirt, and allow his eyes to gaze in the ‘right’ direction. How can you beat $30.00?”)
Got the goods and are fearless fashionista? We love….
Robert Rodriguez Sequined Sleeveless Dress $295.00
Amy suggests pairing with a gorgeous velvet blazer such as the Alice + Olivia ‘Elyse velvet blazer’ or Elie Tahari ‘Bethany velvet blazer’ (below) with closed toe pointy pumps or round toe pumps.
“This velvet blazer is so rich in color, jewel-like. Blend with everything from your fav jeans or jazzed up with your date dress. Be bold and mix with all colors- reds, blues, etc. Don’t limit yourself just because it already has color in it. And don’t be scared to pair it with a different blue hue. Keep re-energizing your fashion by mixing and playing with the unexpected.”
After reading this, our hopes are you have a date in with yourself and your current wardrobe. Sometimes there is nothing better than a night in. Forget all the silly boys emailing you pointless things on Match. Shut down the computer and silence the phone. Light some candles. Pour a glass of great champers, turn up some Miguel, and play with some looks.
Maybe you have a velvet blazer from years ago that you never wear or perhaps you have a lady-like dress that you haven’t found the right occasion for. Call your best girl up for a night in with fashion. This is your time to mix, match, play, and have fun.
If you like this song by Miguel, we recommend checking out Maxwell. In the music business, very few songs are actually original.
This Fall season will involve a ton of green colors, statement purses, brooches, and lots of jackets to throw over your perfect date ensemble. Lips are perfectly pouty in cherry, legs are shown wearing tight leather, and navy is another color that is hot- mixed with black too (which I have always done).
I just received my Neiman Marcus Fall Book in the mail yesterday and I tore out a few things I thought Linx ladies might like. First, I am obsessing with Rachel Zoe’s new jewelry line- love, love, love AND affordable too (under $200) which is fantastic! Any Linx clients know I am huge into statement necklaces for dating- they serve as the perfect ice breaker, flirting device, and way to get your dates eyes gazing at ahhh the chest. It reminds him he is on a date and to lust after how gorg you are!
I also love the look that is included here in the entry of a sexy figure accentuating dress in a fab color, mixed with texture rich clutch, bold statement necklace, lady-like navy pumps, and a tailored jackets to wear upon arrival at your date (then of course removing during dinner to temp in more ways than one.) Yummy!
As summer comes to an end in the next month or so, I’d love to get your comments as to your fav fashion for Fall. What makes you feel sexiest when dating and what will you splurge on for new trends and skip out on for this season?