understanding single men

Dating a man in his 40’s: 4 things he wants you to know

attraction

Dating a man in his 40s is an exciting experience. He wants to provide for a companion and has the means to do so—unlike many younger men, he’s usually established in his career and rather self-assured about his place in the world. In fact, studies like this one from the Atlantic show that a man’s desirability typically peaks around their 40s and 50s.

On the other side of the coin, there’s also a higher likelihood that he’s been married and/or has children. Though this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it may be daunting for some women.

So, what are the top 4 essential things to know about dating a man in his 40s?

(1) He likes clarity and honesty

A man in his 40s is more discerning and direct about his dating life—and expects you to be the same. 

Playing games like intentionally delaying messaging back for a few days, playing hard to get, or talking about other men to entice jealousy doesn’t sit well—for a man in his 40s, this behavior is more likely to be interpreted as a lack of commitment, and he may simply assume that you’re disinterested. 

He’ll appreciate you clearly expressing your interest, and he’ll also appreciate an honest and direct conversation if you’re not interested. With life experience behind him, he’ll more than graciously accept a thoughtful rejection, rather than a slow, time-wasting denouement. 

(2) He needs his space

A man in his 40s is serious about keeping up with his responsibilities. You’ll have to respect that he may be preoccupied during the day and may not always message back immediately, or that he might want to get to bed early in order to wake up early. 

The good news is that you’ll have more time to focus on yourself, especially when you have your own business, friends, and hobbies. 

(3) He may want a family

While every situation is different, it would be wrong to assume that every man in his 40s wouldn’t be interested in starting a family with you simply because he is divorced or has kids already.

If he has kids already, it is also important to understand that he may take his time to introduce you to them—this is normal as he’ll want to be assured things are serious before he takes that step in intertwining your lives. Again, give him the space to do this at his own pace.

(4) He’s not a fixer-upper

Lastly, studies like this one by Costa and McRae have shown that personality traits remain relatively stable in adults after 30. This explains why it is incredibly challenging—or nearly impossible—to fundamentally change a 40-year-old’s personality, and it is important to recognize that trying to do so will most likely only lead to frustration for both of you.

So, for example, if he’s consistently not interested in an outdoor hike on your favorite trail, then chances are slim that he’ll ever be.

A man in his 40s has been shaped by his life experiences, both good and bad, and he’ll have a much stronger sense of self for it. The major benefit for you—if you have the chance to be with someone who truly knows himself—is that this illuminates a clearer path to connection.

If you find yourself searching for love but not knowing where to begin, don’t hesitate to get in touch—I’m here to help. 

Wishing you love and good health,

Amy

How To Tell If A Guy Doesn’t Like You

Signs_He_Doesn't_Love_You

Written by guest blogger: Nick Bastion

No one wants to waste their time.

And if you’re interested in a guy – but you don’t know how he feels about you – it can be a nerve-wracking experience.

Does he like you? Does he not like you? Does he only like you “as a friend”? Will he ever be interested in you?

And most importantly: Are you wasting your time with this guy?

I want to help you never have to worry about that question again.

So with that in mind, I’m going to give you the top signs that a guy doesn’t like you, so that you never have to waste your time with a guy who’s not interested ever again.

Are you ready for the good news?

It’s actually very easy to tell whether a guy is interested in you or not.

See, a lot of women think guys are complicated, but the truth of the matter is, guys are very simple.

Guys move towards things that feel good to them. They give off obvious signs when they’re interested in someone. 99% of the time, their behavior tells the whole story.

The reason that a lot of women think guys are “complicated” is because they’re actually projecting their own feelings and motivations onto a guy – instead of just looking at what he’s actually doing.

The women who think men are complicated are the same women who look for hidden “clues” or “signals” about how he truly feels.

The truth is, he’s not dropping hidden clues. He’s not being subtle. He’s pretty much incapable.

He’s just not that complicated.

So if he’s not that complicated – what are the signs to look for that tell you whether he is or isn’t interested in you?

Here’s the most important one: Does he spend time with you?

Guys who are interested in a woman are going to take every excuse they can get to spend time with her. They’re going to go out of their way to hang out. They’re going to want to be around that woman as much as they can.

Why? Because it feels good!

It feels good to be around someone you like – that’s the whole reason you like them.

And remember what I said earlier about guys being simple?

Here’s a universal rule with guys: if it feels good – he’s going to move towards it. If it feels bad, he’s going to move away from it.

That means that if a guy feels good around you – he’s going to want to spend more time with you – and he’s going to become interested in you.

If he’s not spending time with you, if he’s rarely ever “around” you at all – it means he’s not interested.

So with that out of the way, let’s look at some other signs that mean a guy isn’t interested.

These all revolve around one question: Are you important to him?

If he’s interested in you, then you’re going to be important to him. That’s a given – when a guy is attracted to a woman she becomes important to him.

So how would you expect a guy to act towards someone who’s important to him?

He would listen to her when she talked to him. He would remember the things she told him. He would make time to see her – even if he were busy.

He would reach out to her first and contact her to make plans. He would stick to his plans and not flake out or cancel last minute.

He would be curious about her life and ask her questions about herself. He would treat her differently than the other people in his life.

In short – he would behave like she was important to him.

If the guy you’re thinking of isn’t doing any of these things – if he’s not behaving like you’re important to him… then the blunt truth is that he’s probably not that interested in you.

But even if he isn’t – it’s still better to know now, rather than wasting your time waiting for him to come around or show his “true feelings” (which he’s really been showing you the entire time).

So if the signs say that he’s not interested – don’t try to shove a square peg into a round hole. Instead, move on and keep looking for the right guy – the guy who’s just as excited about you as you are about him. The guy who will want to be with you the way you want to be with him.

The guy who treats you like a very important person in his life.

That’s the man you’re looking for.

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Vixendaily.com is the only site out there that specializes in mind-reading quizzes, content and advice tailored to your particular needs.  It’s like having your own personal mentor guiding you through life’s challenges every step of the way!

It was founded by dating and relationship expert, Nick Bastion, who is the main contributor to the Love & Relationship Advice section of the site.