understanding men

How To Tell If A Guy Doesn’t Like You

Signs_He_Doesn't_Love_You

Written by guest blogger: Nick Bastion

No one wants to waste their time.

And if you’re interested in a guy – but you don’t know how he feels about you – it can be a nerve-wracking experience.

Does he like you? Does he not like you? Does he only like you “as a friend”? Will he ever be interested in you?

And most importantly: Are you wasting your time with this guy?

I want to help you never have to worry about that question again.

So with that in mind, I’m going to give you the top signs that a guy doesn’t like you, so that you never have to waste your time with a guy who’s not interested ever again.

Are you ready for the good news?

It’s actually very easy to tell whether a guy is interested in you or not.

See, a lot of women think guys are complicated, but the truth of the matter is, guys are very simple.

Guys move towards things that feel good to them. They give off obvious signs when they’re interested in someone. 99% of the time, their behavior tells the whole story.

The reason that a lot of women think guys are “complicated” is because they’re actually projecting their own feelings and motivations onto a guy – instead of just looking at what he’s actually doing.

The women who think men are complicated are the same women who look for hidden “clues” or “signals” about how he truly feels.

The truth is, he’s not dropping hidden clues. He’s not being subtle. He’s pretty much incapable.

He’s just not that complicated.

So if he’s not that complicated – what are the signs to look for that tell you whether he is or isn’t interested in you?

Here’s the most important one: Does he spend time with you?

Guys who are interested in a woman are going to take every excuse they can get to spend time with her. They’re going to go out of their way to hang out. They’re going to want to be around that woman as much as they can.

Why? Because it feels good!

It feels good to be around someone you like – that’s the whole reason you like them.

And remember what I said earlier about guys being simple?

Here’s a universal rule with guys: if it feels good – he’s going to move towards it. If it feels bad, he’s going to move away from it.

That means that if a guy feels good around you – he’s going to want to spend more time with you – and he’s going to become interested in you.

If he’s not spending time with you, if he’s rarely ever “around” you at all – it means he’s not interested.

So with that out of the way, let’s look at some other signs that mean a guy isn’t interested.

These all revolve around one question: Are you important to him?

If he’s interested in you, then you’re going to be important to him. That’s a given – when a guy is attracted to a woman she becomes important to him.

So how would you expect a guy to act towards someone who’s important to him?

He would listen to her when she talked to him. He would remember the things she told him. He would make time to see her – even if he were busy.

He would reach out to her first and contact her to make plans. He would stick to his plans and not flake out or cancel last minute.

He would be curious about her life and ask her questions about herself. He would treat her differently than the other people in his life.

In short – he would behave like she was important to him.

If the guy you’re thinking of isn’t doing any of these things – if he’s not behaving like you’re important to him… then the blunt truth is that he’s probably not that interested in you.

But even if he isn’t – it’s still better to know now, rather than wasting your time waiting for him to come around or show his “true feelings” (which he’s really been showing you the entire time).

So if the signs say that he’s not interested – don’t try to shove a square peg into a round hole. Instead, move on and keep looking for the right guy – the guy who’s just as excited about you as you are about him. The guy who will want to be with you the way you want to be with him.

The guy who treats you like a very important person in his life.

That’s the man you’re looking for.

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Vixendaily.com is the only site out there that specializes in mind-reading quizzes, content and advice tailored to your particular needs.  It’s like having your own personal mentor guiding you through life’s challenges every step of the way!

It was founded by dating and relationship expert, Nick Bastion, who is the main contributor to the Love & Relationship Advice section of the site.

Call Me….Maybe?

The timing of when a man calls to ask you out can indicate so much about how he feels about seeing you, and where he thinks the two of you are potentially headed. I am a big believer that carefully managing the early stages of dating is critical in establishing a pathway towards the relationship you have dreamt of.

I recall having many highs and lows during my single years while looking for my match; in my constant struggle to understand “boy world,” I noticed a familiar pattern surface around when guys I was dating would call me. This new awareness led to great clarity and insight that really helped me figure out my confusing dating life.

Every woman – regardless of age – should strive to be part of a man’s coveted A List… aka his “Dream Team” bucket. Being on this “it” list means a man is in hot pursuit of you, and it can be incredibly empowering and reassuring to know he’s so interested. A guy this engaged might actually call you on Monday to ask you out for a proper Saturday date. In doing so he is making the effort to plan, to think ahead, to get on your calendar, and to recognize that you have a busy life and are a girl in demand! Saturday dates signal something more serious- especially those that are reserved in advance! Ask yourself, are you on his dream team? iStock_000042037726Small

Another scenario is when a man calls (or texts…let’s hope he is not texting to ask you out) on a Thursday for a Friday or Saturday date. This guy has most likely a) been clocking long hours at work and is living in a state of delirium so it is unclear if he has legitimate time for a relationship, or b) is dating multiple girls and his A-Lister just cancelled on him, so you are simply on his back-up B, C, or D-List. We all know B-list, C-list, and D-list actors…those who have never made it to the top of the heap. If you were an actor in Hollywood, would you be ok being placed on the same level as “that guy” or “that girl” whose name you can’t really place but know you’ve seen in some film? Wouldn’t you want to aim to do what it takes to be a bankable star? The same principle applies to dating.

Ladies, wake up and check yourself. I want you to put yourself on the A-List today and believe that you should and can be on any man’s dream team and hot list.

If a man calls you on a Thurs for a Friday or Saturday date, remember my advice and make a hard decision about whether or not you want to go out. You can take a bold stand and turn him down and politely share that you’d prefer the following Saturday. If he is serious about you, he will listen and comply. If he is wading around in the kiddie pool and is not serious with his intentions, move on. Remember to not reprimand him for not calling sooner or being so unavailable; that always turns a man off. Follow your intuition, but be courteous and lady-like when you do.

Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure that at some point we have all agreed to the offer above, and have compounded that mistake by clearing our schedules way too soon in the hope that this guy could be Mr. Right. No no no! Stop in your tracks. Do not go there! Most men (especially Linx guys) find it incredibly desirable to find a woman who has an active and busy schedule filled with many activities, hobbies, friends, travel, and fun. This signals she has a great, happy life… the sort of life that he might eventually like to share one day! call-me-maybe-gif

One final scenario to which I don’t want you to fall victim is (I admit I might have given in one or two times to this “play” bucket) the “booty call.” You know what this is like… you know all about the sneaky guys who text you after you’ve come home for the night with some cute little emoticon and a “hey girl… watcha up to?” Or maybe “would heart to see you.” You and I both know nothing good comes from this other than some fun play and romping around in the sheets. I suppose… if you’re needing a little something-something… then go ahead. But just know that chances are very slim that he’s ever going to be kneeling down in the future and asking for your hand in marriage. Instead, you might be doing the solo walk-o-shame down Chestnut Street in smeared make-up and his baggy sweatshirt (if you’re lucky). We’ve all seen that person. Do you want to be that person? Do you want to be the C- or D-list actress who probably isn’t going to get the starring role? NO! You do NOT!

So ladies, I implore you to start tuning in to when a man calls, and become extra aware of the motivations for this. And for any men who are reading, we do appreciate when you call! And ultimately (despite some of the mixed signals you’ve probably gotten from us girls) we love it when you court us and behave like gentlemen. We applaud and value that sort of courtesy and chivalry… and we look forward to your next call.