5 Easy Ways to Attract a Quality Woman

 

Finding someone single, attractive, and interesting is only half the battle. Finding someone capable of sharing a future can be a much more difficult task. If you find yourself dating—but never finding sustainability—with the same type of women, you need to think about re-evaluating your dating style.

Homework

Make a list of all the qualities you want in a partner. Now ask yourself: Do I possess these qualities? If the answer isn’t a definite yes, then it might be time to re-evaluate your expectations.

The best way to attract a quality woman is simple: Become that which you’d like to attract. Here are 5 ways to get her attention.

 

1. Do interesting things.

Sounds simple, right? Unfortunately, so many of us fall into routines—and the routine can get old. No need to make grand changes, you can spice up your schedule with relatively small tweaks. Opt for a cooking class, art show, or concert. Try a new lunch place. Meet people different from yourself. Say “yes” to new experiences, even if it’s ‘not your thing’.

The most interesting people have lived through vast experiences—not all of which were pleasant. Successes and failures all contribute to a well-rounded character, so it’s in your best interest to take some risks. You will surprise yourself, and she will appreciate you for it.

 

Homework

If you’ve invited to a networking event, dinner party, or frankly any social gathering, NEVER refuse an invitation. You never know who you are going to meet. Furthermore, try two new activities in the next 60 days. Diversify your routine and see what happens.

 

2. Enjoy the company of women, without an agenda.  

When finding a partner is top of mind, your conversation will slant in that direction instead of evolving organically. Give each other a chance to develop some attraction. The anxiety that can stem from a potential rejection will influence your interaction. Let the date be a secondary objective and just talk.

The thrill of the chase can also get in the way of determining if there’s anything beyond physical attraction. Instead of pursuing the most physically enticing woman, try to find the woman who makes you feel the most comfortable. Establishing some semblance of emotional connectivity will help you establish a firm foundation, the basis of any real connection.

 

Homework

Before asking her out, ask yourself: Would I be friends with this person? If the answer is no, ask yourself why you’re asking her out in the first place.

 

3. Put yourself in her world.

Imagine your dream woman. What kind of things does she enjoy doing? Art? Sports? Horses? Music? Go to places that attract the type of people you’d like to meet. It’s not impossible to meet someone special during last call at the bar, but the odds of making a real connection aren’t in your favor. You’re better off making connections in places more conducive to conversation or in places that group people together based on shared interest.

 

Homework

Generosity and altruism are always attractive, and it doesn’t necessarily mean opening your checkbook. Find an upcoming event that interests you, and volunteer your time.

 

4. Be prepared to carry the conversation initially.

Let’s be clear: Women struggle with conversation as much as men, but men are generally tasked with breaking the ice. The good news is that you only need a few open-ended questions to get started.

The questions that are easiest to ask are going to be the same ones she’s answered from every other guy. Set yourself apart with questions that require her to answer from her emotional side, not her logical side. She mentions she completed a marathon. You could go with something obvious like, “Where did you run?” or, you could try something new like, “What is it like to cross the finish line after so many hours?” Giving her an opportunity to share an experience with you will, in some ways, allow her to relive it again with you.

 

Homework

Did your last date feel like an interview? If so, the talk-to-listen ratio wasn’t balanced. Remember, G*d gave you two ears and one mouth. Listen twice as much as you talk. Next conversation, limit yourself to asking two consecutive questions. Give her an opportunity to learn about you.

 

5. Let your actions—not your words—show her who you are.

If you’ve found professional success, and it’s serving you well, you shouldn’t need to spell this out. Talking about what you have, who you know, and what you can provide isn’t attractive; it’s validation-seeking behavior. A quality woman won’t be with you for your bank account or Rolodex; she manages her own finances and social network.

If you’re outlining reasons for her to be with you, she will wonder why you feel the need to convince her. Spearhead a more interesting conversation about common interests or something that has less to do with your success and more to do with things you enjoy.

 

Homework

Instead of starting with the basic questions and getting more specific, work in the opposite direction. See how long you can talk without mentioning what you do for work. Engineering the conversation this way will force you to talk about the life you lead outside of the office. If this is challenging, it’s time to take some serious vacation and turn your phone off.

 

Attracting a quality woman begins with a fostering a stable, healthy relationship with yourself. These dating tips are just a few ways you can capture some interest; living your truth and being comfortable with who you are is the best place to start.

 

 

Linx Testimonial from 50-something Male

50-SOMETHING YEAR OLD MALE, BAY AREA BASED, PRESIDENT OF FIRM, PASSIONATE ABOUT CARS

“Amy has considerably exceeded my expectations – and that is rare.

Contacting Amy, I was interested in meeting someone special to have a family with. Until then, my dating life was active and enjoyable, yet seldom in a relationship likely to lead to marriage and children.

Before becoming a client, I recall discussing the “leap of faith” new clients make – having never worked with a matchmaker before. I vividly recall all concerns about becoming a client evaporating as soon as I met the first match.

Through Amy, I met accomplished, attractive, vivacious women I would not have met on my own.

Matchmaking is an art, not a science. If it was science, combining 50 handsome men and 50 beautiful women would create 50 adorable couples. As a matchmaker, Amy is a very talented artist.

Amy is conscientious. She personally knows me as well as the woman she is introducing me to – so it’s more like meeting someone through a mutual friend. We both know each other’s backgrounds, interests and aspirations. So the first date doesn’t seem like a first date. Our first conversation is much more interesting about what matters to both of us, on a deeper more intellectual level.

Amy is encouraging and insightful. Encouraging when there is future potential in a match and insightful when there isn’t, allowing me to better understand what I’m looking for in a person.

If you are accomplished, selective and interested in meeting someone special, I suggest meeting with Amy. Expect to be surprised by her capabilities and quality of match she may have for you.

Amy greatly exceeded my expectations. She might exceed yours, too…”

It’s a timing thing…

I am definitely a big believer in the “taxi cab light” theory in analyzing and studying the dating game – especially for how men behave.

When a man is ready to find love, his taxicab “on duty” light is on.  In observing the male species, it is a short window of time from the moment the light is on to the moment it is off.  In that time frame, he is searching for, and desiring, a woman with whom to fall in love. It is his time and we all know darn well, it’s a timing thing. It is either a man’s time to get serious about finding the love of his life or NOT.

It can be extremely hard to navigate these waters without a life preserver when you are dating on your own. To add to the complexity, it is really hard to map out which guys have their “light on” and whose might be turned off but he is still out their playing the dating game casually and in “hook up” mode versus “wedding bells mode.” I know what this is like because when I was in my twenties (like a year ago lol kidding), I found it particularly hard to decipher which of the guys in whom I was interested would end up being casual, right here, right now, versus long-term.

In running Linx, I can’t even express how interesting it is to see some men who have been prospective clients of Linx for many (yes, MANY) years now FINALLY pulling the trigger.  It’s a timing thing and their taxi lights are bright, on, and blaring out to the world. This prototypical male has dated a fair amount, gotten the casual hookups out of his system, and it’s game on, with it all now just being a matter of how to find HER in a sea of contenders.

Another observation is that men seem to also need to feel that there is harmony in their professional careers to be ultimately positioned to find love. If his career is unstable, it is not his time to get serious about love. When his career is in a good place and he’s sick of the random hook-up, that is his time.

My best advice to women is that you cannot legislate outcomes and force a man to be ready.  All you can do is consistently put yourself in position to meet those guys that ARE ready and to put your best foot forward when you do so.The intoxicating smell of fresh fragrant garden flowers at the Linx offices. 

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create.” 
-John Lennon

Follow me on Twitter @linxdating