How To Tell If A Guy Doesn’t Like You

Written by guest blogger: Nick Bastion

No one wants to waste their time.

And if you’re interested in a guy – but you don’t know how he feels about you – it can be a nerve-wracking experience.

Does he like you? Does he not like you? Does he only like you “as a friend”? Will he ever be interested in you?

And most importantly: Are you wasting your time with this guy?

I want to help you never have to worry about that question again.

So with that in mind, I’m going to give you the top signs that a guy doesn’t like you, so that you never have to waste your time with a guy who’s not interested ever again.

Are you ready for the good news?

It’s actually very easy to tell whether a guy is interested in you or not.

See, a lot of women think guys are complicated, but the truth of the matter is, guys are very simple.

Guys move towards things that feel good to them. They give off obvious signs when they’re interested in someone. 99% of the time, their behavior tells the whole story.

The reason that a lot of women think guys are “complicated” is because they’re actually projecting their own feelings and motivations onto a guy – instead of just looking at what he’s actually doing.

The women who think men are complicated are the same women who look for hidden “clues” or “signals” about how he truly feels.

The truth is, he’s not dropping hidden clues. He’s not being subtle. He’s pretty much incapable.

He’s just not that complicated.

So if he’s not that complicated – what are the signs to look for that tell you whether he is or isn’t interested in you?

Here’s the most important one: Does he spend time with you?

Guys who are interested in a woman are going to take every excuse they can get to spend time with her. They’re going to go out of their way to hang out. They’re going to want to be around that woman as much as they can.

Why? Because it feels good!

It feels good to be around someone you like – that’s the whole reason you like them.

And remember what I said earlier about guys being simple?

Here’s a universal rule with guys: if it feels good – he’s going to move towards it. If it feels bad, he’s going to move away from it.

That means that if a guy feels good around you – he’s going to want to spend more time with you – and he’s going to become interested in you.

If he’s not spending time with you, if he’s rarely ever “around” you at all – it means he’s not interested.

So with that out of the way, let’s look at some other signs that mean a guy isn’t interested.

These all revolve around one question: Are you important to him?

If he’s interested in you, then you’re going to be important to him. That’s a given – when a guy is attracted to a woman she becomes important to him.

So how would you expect a guy to act towards someone who’s important to him?

He would listen to her when she talked to him. He would remember the things she told him. He would make time to see her – even if he were busy.

He would reach out to her first and contact her to make plans. He would stick to his plans and not flake out or cancel last minute.

He would be curious about her life and ask her questions about herself. He would treat her differently than the other people in his life.

In short – he would behave like she was important to him.

If the guy you’re thinking of isn’t doing any of these things – if he’s not behaving like you’re important to him… then the blunt truth is that he’s probably not that interested in you.

But even if he isn’t – it’s still better to know now, rather than wasting your time waiting for him to come around or show his “true feelings” (which he’s really been showing you the entire time).

So if the signs say that he’s not interested – don’t try to shove a square peg into a round hole. Instead, move on and keep looking for the right guy – the guy who’s just as excited about you as you are about him. The guy who will want to be with you the way you want to be with him.

The guy who treats you like a very important person in his life.

That’s the man you’re looking for.

Vixendaily.com is the only site out there that specializes in mind-reading quizzes, content and advice tailored to your particular needs.  It’s like having your own personal mentor guiding you through life’s challenges every step of the way!

It was founded by dating and relationship expert, Nick Bastion, who is the main contributor to the Love & Relationship Advice section of the site.

Single females: If you like mind-bending conversation, creative adventures, and global causes…read about our new bachelor!

We are pleased to announce another search for a Bay Area bachelor. He is a pragmatic optimist at age 34. This Caucasian gentleman stands 5’7” with an athletic build, medium length brown hair, greenish-brown eyes, and a boyish grin. He’s a wilderness expert, who’s hiked Patagonia, New Zealand, and recently returned from post-earthquake Nepal.

Our client is a physician, academic epidemiologist, human rights advocate, social entrepreneur, and global health expert. Academically, he is educated at an Ivy League, as well as, two other top universities for his MD and MPH. He is an experiential learner who would travel to the moon, if that were an option! Maybe it comes from his parents, who traveled the world for seven years in the 1970s. He prizes mind-bending conversation, Pandora, and omakase.

“Outside of work” includes non-profit board work, so the lines between “work” and “outside of work” blur with his passion for social justice. Despite his ambitions, responsibilities, and tireless work ethic, he is a natural west coaster with his laid-back attitude. His quirks are inspired with intellect, sprinkled with humor, and fused by a swirl of those most influential in his life.

His best suited match is ages 25-35 years old, Caucasian, mixed race, or European, 5’3”+, with a petite to athletic frame. She’s naturally very cute and doesn’t feel the need to always dress up or wear make-up. In fact, our client thinks women are most beautiful au natural.

Our client is turned on by women who are at the top of their field and has a strong sense of social justice.  He likes women who exercise, can discuss current events, and cares about the world and have an appreciation for the outdoors. She is best described as warm, caring, highly empathetic, humble, and curious. Perhaps her life has been infused with rights-based thinking and wanting to “save the world”- in whatever shape, form, and size that takes place.  Finally, his dream match should desire a family of her own one day and be excited at the prospect of being a mother.

If you or anyone you know might make a great match for this truly unique bachelor, please write our founder, Amy, at amy@linxdating.com

5 Star Linx Testimonial

Testimonial from mid-30’s male founder in technology, athlete, tier one education, San Francisco based….

“I’ve been a Linx client for the past year and a half — and I have nothing but positive things to say about Amy & the team. This review is based on my actual experience as a (paying) client.

There are a few key things that you should know:

* BOTH men and women pay to be a part of the Amy’s network, so there’s a level of commitment on both sides that just doesn’t exist with other services. When Amy connects you with someone, you take them seriously.

* Amy’s screening process is extremely thorough. She really dives into what you’re looking for, really gets to know you, and really puts thought into the folks she connects you with. She asks questions that cover both the superficial and deeper down (say what you will, but both matter in dating!). For example – one of the getting-to-know-you tasks is to assemble both a scrapbook of photos of people (anyone) you find attractive AS WELL AS photos of people you’ve dated. Amy wants to see the spread between what you imagine you want and what you’ve actually shown attraction to — that’s key and clever.

* Everyone uses her! Critical mass / network effect is so important with a matchmaker — you can be confident that you really are getting into a pool of like-minded people. I signed up after independently asking 3 different friends (guys and girls) how they met their significant others, and all said “Oh, this awesome matchmaker named Amy Andersen.” So the network is great.

* The Linx process saves a ton of time. The social proof begins right at the start — Amy tells you that you’re going to like this person. Amy tells the other person that they’re going to like you. Neither of you are going to flake (or face the wrath of Amy). You know the other person is vetted. They know you’re vetted. This literally saves weeks in the traditional dating process of un-returned texts/calls, cancellations, changed-minds, etc. You can be assured that at least the first date is going to be a good one. And if there’s no chemistry, well, so be it, but that’s up to you 🙂

Anyway – that’s it. It’s worth the $$, it’s worth the time.

(PS – I ended up dating the FIRST person Amy set me up with for a year. So there ya go.)”

Why I stopped playing the numbers game

By: anonymous male, San Francisco

When I first rejoined the dating scene several years ago I followed the well-worn path of many other people my age and joined a handful of online dating sites. After a few false starts, a friend explained to me that I was completely doing online dating the wrong way. She said that it was a “numbers game”, and that I should try to go on multiple first dates a week, week after week, until I find “The One.” I didn’t realize at the time that this was how many people treated online dating in the Bay Area. I said, what the heck, and gave it a shot.

At the beginning I found it to be fun. I realized I was meeting people that I would have never met before, and this gave me a huge amount of confidence that I would run into the woman of my dreams. I also made two very good friends and met one woman with whom I had a multi-year relationship. Even though it didn’t work out, I am still grateful that she was in my life.

After some time of playing the numbers game, I became frustrated and disenchanted with the entire process. I started to realize I was going out on dates where nothing progressed beyond small talk and running through lists of shared hobbies and travel destinations. Even if we both felt there was the potential for something more, follow-on dates started becoming fewer and fewer, mostly due to scheduling conflicts, and that quickly became a lack of interest.

Worse, I realized that the disappearance of my date didn’t bother me, as I knew that there would be someone else who was, well, let’s just say a “swipe right” away. While intellectually I knew that this was the same thought process my date was going through, I still felt a bit icky about the whole experience. As a family-oriented guy that has been in long term relationships for the majority of my life, I felt that this isn’t the behavior of the man that I thought I was or wanted to be.

I could not understand how, with all of the opportunities to meet someone that were available to me, that it was so incredibly hard actually to meet someone. Recently an article appeared in the New York Times that spoke to how I felt. The author reaches the conclusion that all of the online dating technologies have caused us to think in terms of the “numbers game”, and that there was an infinite number of possible partners, and we should toss each aside until we find the perfect mate. If this is our dating mentality, why should we ever bother committing to a person, as a better option could be right around the corner?

I knew the numbers game didn’t work for me, and stopped playing some time ago. I started to pick up on when I was a participant in someone else’s rapid fire dating game, and was able to understand how it felt. When you are playing the numbers game, every person you date becomes a number and not a human being.

Whenever you go out on a date, you have to remember that the person sitting across from you is a person, like yourself, with their own hopes and dreams, anxieties and fears. They have felt both joy and hurt in relationships, and are very possibly hoping that the first date they are on, with you, right now, will be their last first date ever. I can’t think of a more disrespectful action than what most serial daters do, namely walk into the date with the intention of making a judgment in the first five minutes, then hopping back onto Tinder.

The numbers game causes you to focus on quickly observed superficial qualities, such as hobbies, material possessions, and clothing, rather than what really determines the suitability of a partner. The important stuff, like ability to communicate, shared values, empathy, and capacity to provide support in stressful situations, can’t be determined from only one date.

The numbers game relies upon the idea that not only there are an infinite number of partners, but also that you have an infinite amount of time. We don’t. As a guy in my mid 30’s, I for one don’t want to be an “old dad”, and want to be in good enough physical shape that, if I get to have children, I would not only play with my kids on the floor but also be able to walk any future daughters down the aisle when I am twice my current age.

Women, well, they have much more defined biological clocks, with 35 being the medically recognized fertility cliff. While the numbers game can go on forever, our bodies can’t.

There are some things I miss about rapid fire dating. I miss finding instant chemistry. I miss learning about someone’s way of viewing the world. I don’t think it works, however, and would much rather spend time getting to know a small number of quality people than get three cocktails a week with complete strangers.

Most Eligible Bachelors in Silicon Valley

Linx is featured in Entrepreneur.com today and we thought it would be fun to share on the blog this must read bachelor list!

By: Tanya Benedicto Klich

It may be the epicenter of innovation, but Silicon Valley is also teeming with smart, wealthy bachelors. As her Menlo Park, Calif.-based matchmaking service Linx Dating has grown over the last decade, Amy Andersen says she has gained unprecedented access to the “finest caliber of singles… in an area that is already a bubble of the best and the brightest.”

While she wouldn’t reveal Linx’s hottest clients for confidentiality reasons, she tapped her deep local network and social circles to round up the most eligible bachelors in the tech metro. Read the embedded dating expert’s commentary on why these dashing men are the most sought-after suitors of Silicon Valley:

JEREMY STOPPELMAN Image credit: jdlasica via Flickr

Andersen: “This Yelp co-founder and Harvard Business School graduate is a five-star catch as far as I’m concerned. Given his love for reading non-fiction, I think this guy might be ready for a bit of true romance.”

DYLAN SMITH Image credit: box.com

Andersen: “This Box CFO might be a former Duke Blue Devil, but he looks like a complete sweetheart. I also spot him fairly often in my neighborhood, and he literally is the cute ‘boy next door.”

JOE LONSDALE Image credit: TechCrunch via Flickr

Andersen: “A local Bay Area native and Stanford grad, Joe certainly made good as the co-founder of Palantir. These days, he appears to be more interested in media than in finance and defense, but surely this former chess champion knows that every King is vulnerable without the love of a strong Queen.”

BEN RATTRAY Image credit: personaldemocracy via Flickr

Andersen: “The handsome CEO of Change.org is definitely empowering all of us to be the change we want to see in the world, but I hear that he claims to not have the time to invest in a relationship. Where do I start a petition to change that?”

MATT MULLENWEG Image credit: Silicon Prairie News via Flickr

Andersen: “I hear this Texas-born bachelor and founder of WordPress claims to be married to his work, but it’s hard to believe that this soulful saxophonist isn’t looking to jazz up his personal life. My comment for this famous blogger? Find a lady love to occupy those lips of yours, and make your work your mistress.”

SERGEY BRIN Image credit: Thomas Hawk via Flickr

Andersen: “My sources tell me that this brilliant billionaire is back on the market. I’d like to see him find happiness, but when it comes to dating he needs to leave his infamous tech specs at home; a woman wants to look into a man’s eyes on a date, not into the transparent screen of his wearable computer Google Glass.”

TIM COOK Image credit: igrec via Flickr

Andersen: “It’s hard to think of a job more high profile than being the CEO of Apple, and yet Tim Cook is one of the most private men I can think of. I’d like to see him step away from work just a little bit, and find a partner to call his own.”

VIVEK & ANEEL RANADIVE Image credit: Aneel Ranadive via Twitter

Andersen: “Between the two of them, this father and son duo has degrees from Columbia, Harvard, and MIT. They also hold a significant stake in the Sacramento Kings, so we know these tech magnates understand the importance of being more than ‘all work and no play.’ Good looks and great minds definitely run in the family, so I think finding love for these two should be a slam dunk.”

JACK DORSEY Image credit: jdlasica via Flickr

Andersen: “The St. Louis-born, NYU-educated founder of Twitter has kept his Midwestern charm and Manhattan style, but I’d love to see him settle down and grow some real West Coast roots. I just hope his love letters include more than 140 characters.”

Announcing our latest VIP search

Linx is excited to announce a new search for a 31 year old Caucasian female residing in San Francisco. Perhaps you are eligible, searching, or if you are attached, know someone who might make the perfect match for our client. 

Physically, she is 5’6″, feminine with sexy curves, and keeps active with intense gym workouts. On the surface people might judge her as a whip smart, successful female in tech. For those in her inner sanctum, IQ meets EQ. Our client has a magnetism about her, coupled with being extremely down-to-earth, warm-hearted, open-minded, and funny too.

Although young, our client is ready for love now and wants to be able to connect emotionally with her match and build a life and family together one day. We’re not going to fabricate things, she works a lot. That said, she is ready to dial it back (some) and create a strong foundation with you built on monogamy, trust, and passion. Outside of work, she’s a true foodie and super knowledgeable about wine as well. Perhaps you would indulge her and share in this passion with her?  

Our client seeks a match who is between the ages of 25-45 of any ethnicity. You keep active, healthy, and balanced in your life. You’ve got a full life, amazing passions and creative hobbies that keep you stimulated and have so much to offer someone. Maybe you’ve done the online dating thing and perhaps have had a couple of serious relationships.

 

Like our client, this is “your time” to get serious. When you visualize your future, you can picture a true partnership on equal footing. You want kids, in fact…maybe you already have one at home (but would love another). You’re a non-conformist-type who has the courage to do what YOU want versus what society or family dictates. You lead your life with integrity, have a burning fire in your belly to excel at whatever you do professionally, are deep and not afraid of a philosophical debate, intellectual, and friends would say emphatic and caring. 

 

If you or anyone you know is interested in this very unique opportunity to see if you qualify to meet our client, please email me ASAP at amy@linxdating.com. There are zero fees involved. 

Follow me on Twitter @linxdating