Silicon Valley singles

Open Heart Seeks Another Chance at Love

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Our bachelor is a sensitive but masculine 43-year old Silicon Valley financial professional standing 5’9” with a sinewy build, brown hair, hazel eyes behind his stylish spectacles, and a bright ready smile. 

Your handsome widower and father of three cultivates his mental and physical health with daily meditation and high intensity interval training. He enjoys a four-season lifestyle, taking the kids to Squaw and Stratton during the winter, playing scratch golf during the spring and summer, and enjoying the outdoors and college football in the fall.

His travel footprint includes New England for summers and the holidays, with the occasional sprinkling of Europe and South America to maintain his fluent Spanish and conversational French and Italian.

His style is his own, incorporating everything from bowties (yes he ties them without a mirror) to sneakers. Your gentleman is as comfortable in a black tie as he is in khakis and a pullover, all with a well-tailored fit. 

His years of marriage and fatherhood have produced ample domestic skills, he’s comfortable wearing an apron and hosting elegant dinner parties, as well as the resilience, patience and love that comes from nursing a spouse through cancer and his children through the aftermath. 

With bachelor’s and law degrees from two top public universities, this former Wall Streeter and corporate lawyer has plenty to say about economics, politics, life and love. But behind his buttoned-up exterior lies a beautiful and generous soul, full of kindness and gratitude. 

Our client’s best suited match is between the ages of 38-55 years old, Caucasian, and
physically fit. Historically our client has been drawn to brunettes but he’s very open.
What’s critical is this match possess the following characteristics: stable, spiritual,
consistent, driven in her career, emotionally intelligent, fun loving, and a good role
model.
Our bachelor loves a woman who is a total boss lady at work – he finds that to be an
aphrodisiac and extremely appealing. If you are single and searching for the love of your life, email us at: amy@linxdating.com
There are no fees for qualifying candidates.

Finding Love After IPO

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You’ve poured your life into building your business. Long hours, lack of sleep, endless meetings have been your priority and, now, your time and dedication has paid off—your company is going public.

 

And, just like that, your social presence grows overnight. You’re inundated with speaking requests. You’re also inundated with a lot of romantic interest.

 

I’ve met several executives eager to re-prioritize their personal goals in the wake of an IPO. I’ve seen them struggle to find the right person—or even just a legitimate date—after coming into wealth and extra publicity. Ironically, for these clients, I’ve seen the dating space morph into a minefield of sorts.

 

How do you know if your next date is dating you for the right reasons?

 

How can you be sure that your private dating life stays private?

 

How will you know where to find the most eligible singles?

 

Just as you would hire a personal trainer to get fit or an accountant to organize your finances, I’ve been hired countless times to help extremely discerning clientele find their next partner.

 

To help my clients understand what they want in their next relationship and how to get it, I compare the process for finding the right partner to building a business.

 

  1. What problem are you trying to solve?

Perhaps you’re trying to remedy loneliness or are interested in building partnership. Maybe you’d like to “feel alive” with no strings attached, or you’re finally thinking it’s time to start a family. Most successful products and businesses are created to solve a specific problem—what’s yours?

 

Not sure where to start?

 

Envision your future. In five years, what kind of life do you envision? Where are you living? What are you doing? What would your mother say about you? How would your best friend describe you? Write it down.

 

  1. Set realistic expectations about the process.

What steps will you take in the short term to help meet your goals? Clients tend to be clear on their goals, but they can get a little lost on the game plan.

 

Some questions to ask yourself:

 

How much time do you plan to carve out per week to devote to your dating life?

 

How will you meet new people?

 

How will you date? Casual introductions over wine? Grand romantic gestures?

 

  1. Keep Iterating.

The qualities you look for may change during the dating process. Be open to the process and be prepared to adjust your ideas accordingly. Whereas it’s perfectly natural to have preferences (don’t we all?), you might find that your more urgent needs are satisfied by someone without the specific packaging.

 

Tip: Compromise on the packaging, never the standards.

 

  1. Hire your Weaknesses.

The demands of growing an empire may have distracted you from fine tuning your dating skills. Constant travel and other obligations may have limited your interactions to people in your professional network. Instead of trying to solve every problem at once, heed the words of billionaire Spanx founder Sara Blakely and “hire your weaknesses.”

 

Find the person you can trust; the person who has demonstrated enough experience in the realm of long-term relationships to help you make the best decision of your life. In the wake of money, media attention, and limited time, an extra pair of eyes, ears, and vetting could pay a lifetime of dividends.

 

With over a decades’ worth of experience serving high-profile clientele, I’m privy to the unique demands and sensitivities involved in the search for partnership. If you’re ready to hand off the reins to Silicon Valley’s leading matchmaker, get in touch.

 

Love and best wishes ❤️,

Amy

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Friends with an ex: Worth the time or time to move on?

 

iStock_000042224340_Small.jpgAfter sharing love and a life together, severing all contact with an ex sounds like a harsh outcome to say the least, but is maintaining ties with an ex worthwhile? Traditional advice seems to support “clean breaks” and “moving on”, but is there something to be said for pursing friendship in lieu of separation?

 

Is friendship with an ex even possible?

 

According to The Journal of Social Psychology, friendship after a breakup is more likely if you and your ex were friends prior to the relationship.; the transition is easier if both parties have experience in the platonic realm. Conversely, if sparks flew shortly after meeting, you stand to endure more pain and awkwardness as the romance falls away.

 

The nature of the breakup will also impact the opportunity for friendship. Naturally, break ups that included heated endings—arguments, cheating, or any sort of perceived hostility—jeopardize chances of friendship. However, if the dumper used “de-escalation” tactics—or slowly started pulling away, the ex-partner has time to adjust and consider an alternative dynamic.

 

Why stay friends?

 

If you do decide to remain friends, have an honest conversation with yourself about your motivations. According to a research study published in the Journal of Personality and Individual Differences, your desire to remain friends after the relationship probably falls under one of the following reasons:

 

Reliability/sentimentality: your ex “gets you” and you can count on him or her to have your back.

 

Pragmatism: your ex makes your life easier. Your ex has resources you want—connections to business prospects, money, or skills you need.

 

Continued romantic attraction: You’re still in love.

 

Children and shared resources: Joint loans, kids, mortgages, etc. are obligations that make severing contact difficult if not impossible.

 

Diminished romantic attraction: Although the passion has waned, you still share an emotional connection.

 

Social relationship maintenance:You have similar friend groups or family friends.

 

Sexual access: Maintaining enough connectivity to ensure sexual opportunities or, simply, a friends with benefits situation.

 

Although reliability was the prevailing reason for friendship among both women and men, men were more likely to rate pragmatism and sexual access higher than women.

 

If you are pushing for friendship, be sure it’s friendship you’re actually looking for. To get your answer, ask yourself the following:

  • Are you scared to lose support, advice, and comfort?
  • Are you trying to avoid grief?
  • Do you want the benefits of partnership (i.e. sex) without a formalized commitment?

 

If you’ve answered “yes” to any of these questions, you might be more interested in filling a void than pursuing a true friendship. If you find yourself pursuing contact for these reasons, the pain and stress of the breakup are probably encouraging some unhealthy rollercoaster emotions.

 

Using friendship as a crutch while your relationship dies will prolong the agony of heartbreak. The sooner you cut ties and take time for yourself—on your own—the sooner you may have an opportunity to pursue friendship.

 

What does creating space for friendship with an ex look like?

 

Firstly—and this may sound dramatic—defriend your ex on Facebook. According to research that appears in the Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, monitoring an ex on Facebook “exacerbates feelings of distress…and increases feelings of sexual desire and longing for an ex partner.” Although people who de-friended exes still experienced some setbacks in personal growth during their breakup, ultimately they reported less negative feelings than their stalker counterparts.

 

Instead of focusing on the friendship with an ex, you might find more value in revisiting your platonic relationships. The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships revealed that cross-sex friends who have always been platonic offer more satisfaction than cross-sex friends who have been lovers. Without sexual attraction or a need to get more serious, platonic friends share a pure connection.

 

Regardless of what you decide, give yourself—and your ex—and opportunity to adjust to the being single. If you do decide to pursue friendship, realize that the strong emotional connection you continue to share could complicate—at best—or preclude—at worst—your chances of establishing a new, totally fulfilling relationship.

Event of the year…..March 5th…!

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The Best of Silicon Valley 2019 Party brings to life the January & February “Best of Silicon Valley” issue!
Party the night away at the Rosewood Sand Hill Hotel with fabulous chef prepared foods, live music, amazing cocktails, and mingle with the Valley’s most desirable movers and shakers.
This event supports the Junior League of Palo Alto, Mid-Peninsula and will be a great way to meet like-minded people, while supporting a wonderful cause. This is not a Linx Dating event, instead Modern Luxury’s premier party of the year.
Linx will be in attendance, so please come say hi and toast to good people, positive energy, and new connections. Need a little dating advice or want to talk to me about matchmaking, just ask me there. Happy to chat discreetly.

When: Tuesday, March 5, 2019 | 6:00-8:30 pm

Where: The Rosewood Sand Hill Hotel | Menlo Park, CA, complimentary valet

Cocktail Attire, dress and look your best. Ladies bring a wrap or jacket as guests will be spilling over onto the lawn outside and the evening hours can get very chilly.

Tickets are only $85.00 and can be purchased here ⬇️:

 

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/best-of-silicon-valley-2019-tickets-57056277863

 

Event partners include:

Alexander’s Steakhouse
Blackened Whiskey
Cetrella Restaurant
La Mienne
Puesto
Sonoma Valley Wines
Stephen Silver Fine Jewelry
WhistlePig Whiskey

 

Former American Diplomat seeks his traditional match 25-35 years old

 

iStock-697044734 copy.jpgWe are thrilled to announce a new search for our international bachelor. Our client is a true renaissance man. He’s a 38-year-old 6ft former Ivy League football player with a Yugoslavian mother and African American father.  He is a mix between Jason Bourne and Marty Khan and has served as a Counterintelligence Officer in the US military, been an American Diplomat, and now works as an international management consultant for a top 5 firm in the Mid East.

He combines a Hollywood smile and a movie star’s charisma with an endless supply of energy and an engineer’s intellectual curiosity.  The man is polished, erudite, and displays the manners and global savvy of the experienced diplomat he is.  Although high strung, he is gregarious, engaging, and the kind of guy that makes toddlers smile and giggle when he greets them (he once worked as a kindergarten teacher in his early 20s).

He’s handsome with a mischievous aurora and is a true globetrotter that has been to over 117 countries.  In addition to being an avid tennis enthusiastic he provides tutoring and mentorship to inner-city kids wanting to attend elite schools.
Currently based in a booming Middle East hub with an amazing expatriate package that includes ½ a floor at a five-star hotel, household staff, driver, and private school for the kiddies when you have them. After serving his country in several global hotspots he is now ready to settle down and be the family man that he always wanted to be.  He is a traditionalist and is comfortable being the breadwinner for the family but is also open to a careerist partner.

His ideal match is between the ages of 25-35, open on her heritage, although leans towards exotic, in shape, and with feminine curves. She is engaging, interesting, humble, loyal, an optimistic by nature, and prefers a traditional man. As our client is current based in the Middle East, this candidate needs to be open to travel and possible relocation.

If you or anyone you know might make a great fit for this gentleman, please email Amy directly at: amy@linxdating.com Thank you!

Are you dating a narcissist? Watch out for these signs

If your partner is constantly seeking attention, validation, or admiration while keeping your needs secondary, you could be dating a narcissist. The narcissism diagnosis gets tossed around frequently, so it can be difficult to differentiate between a true narcissist and someone who just loves attention. To know if you’re dating a narcissist, look out for the following signs:

Grandiose Personality—Your partner believes that he or she is the reason other people are leading better lives. Because they believe they are more important than everyone else, it’s challenging for them to fathom how other people could survive without their contributions.

What this could look like: When your partner discusses a work project, he takes credit for the final product without any acknowledgement of colleagues. He tries to tell you that despite everyone pushing back or “getting in his way”, he single-handedly found the answer.

Grand displays of affection (initially)—If your partner laid it on thick in the beginning—i.e. flowers, gifts, or saying “I love you” soon after meeting—you experienced what psychologists call “love bombing”. This technique is used to move the relationship forward quickly, but on a false pretense—one that is self-serving as opposed to genuine.

What this could look like: You were swept off your feet, but that narrative quickly changed when you communicated needs of your own. The exchange of gifts comes easily, but the exchange of real communication has barriers.

Your partner is living in a fantasy—Since reality doesn’t back up that grandiose personality, your partner will create a narrative that does. You might hear your partner tell stories that speak to unlimited power, brilliance, or importance. These stories are protective mechanisms to help offset shame or a lack of self worth.

What this could look like: Your partner tells a story about that time she got a scholarship to an ivy league school, but she doesn’t end up going. When you ask why she took out loans to attend a state school instead, she becomes furious and combative. Your innocent question is met with rage and anger, as it potentially challenges her fantasy.

You partner turns the conversation on you—Whenever you discuss a problem with your partner or have some constructive criticism, the conversation seems to be redirected at you. A narcissistic person will try to make you feel guilty, overly sensitive, or just plain wrong about the issues you’re experiencing. Gaslighting is the formal term that describes this kind of emotional devaluation technique.

What this could look like: You tell your partner that you are upset when she shows up late for plans. Instead of apologizing or offering up a reason, she flips the conversation on you. She might say something like, “Why are you so controlling?” or “Would be really great if you could loosen up”. Gaslighters know that if you question your own feelings, you will continue to doubt yourself and the poor treatment you are receiving.

Your partner is a bully—To affirm those feelings of superiority, narcissists will frequently demean others. Your partner harbors a fragile self esteem so tearing people down—especially publically—is a way to preserve his sense of self.

What this could look like: The waiter delivers the wrong meal to your table. Instead of asking for a replacement, your partner escalates the situation from mistake to confrontation. After embarrassing the waiter and asserting dominance, your partner will not feel any shame or remorse for making a scene.

 

Just in….client testimonial ❤️

“I am writing to tell you that (name omitted) and I are in a committed, exclusive relationship! She is the love of my life! I am as smitten today as I was on our first date in January. Only now I know that much more about her and have fallen in love with this spectacular woman! She is adding so much to my life!

I have met her children and am off to a good start with them. We just returned from a fabulous one-week vacation and enjoyed every minute of our time together! She has invited me to join her later this month, with her family and friends, at her treasured vacation home. And we have a long list of things to share into the future.

We have agreed that we are perfect for each other – always comfortable together, discussing everything openly (including the hard stuff) and supporting each other during these times of change.

She is such a caring person, empathetic, listens so well, is flexible and accommodating. Yet she is also strong and voices her feelings and opinions to me. She is a hard worker devoted to her family, career development and charitable interests. So fun to be around such a motivated, interesting woman!

I want to thank you again for introducing me to her. You certainly saved your best client for me! Amy, thanks again for your very caring and professional support on this journey! I am very grateful to have her in my life!”