Silicon Valley expert

Announcing Our Most Exciting Silicon Valley VIP Search Yet!

We are elated to announce our latest VIP search for a Silicon Valley based bachelor searching for his match. Our client is exceptional above and beyond – academically, physically and professionally. As we all know, timing is everything in life (especially when it comes to truly being ready for a serious relationship and marriage) and, for our client, this is ‘his time’ to find the love of his life! lazaro-bridal-tulle-ball-gown-pleated-silk-satin-organza-floral-jewel-natural-waist-circular-chapel-train-3108_zm

We will be hosting a series of confidential, in-person interviews for qualified candidates ongoing in 2014 (note this search started end of 2013 and is an on-going, high profile project.) If you contact us and qualify, you will be invited to meet the matchmaker, Amy Andersen, in the comfort of our private suite where you can learn more about the bachelor and we can determine if you might be the perfect girl for him. This process is 100% private – anything you share will remain strictly confidential – so there’s no risk in contacting us if you’re interested. Small_Red_Rose

Our VIP is a true Silicon Valley superstar! He is not only a very good looking guy standing 6’0″, a CEO, romantic, a world traveler, a loyal friend, extremely well educated, social, honest, a great communicator, and most importantly marriage minded. Like so many of our VIPs, he has the graduate degree, a fantastic career, is very confident (so sexy..right ladies?), and a long list of incredible hobbies and fascinating pursuits outside of his job. Our VIP has enlisted our services to help him find his dream girl… the one in a million, the needle in a haystack, the perfect match. Are you that girl? We are so excited and need your help! wedding046-1-ddb17f

Our VIP wrote a letter from his heart to the Linx blog readers hoping she might be reading it. If you are not eligible but you know a great girl who is eligible and searching for “the one” let us know. In fact, email founder/CEO amy ASAP to amy@linxdating.com. As mentioned earlier, we will be hosting a luxurious event conducting one-on-one casual screenings with qualifying candidates in November. NO FEES if you qualify.

VIP LETTER

I’m a Dreamer, a Doer, and a Serial Hugger

As a child, I loved building things and daydreaming. I distinctively remember one of these dreams I dreamt at twilight time during a family vacation on an island overlooking the Mediterranean. In that dream I remember juggling a big happy family and a thriving business. In that episode of the dream (just before my mom called me for dinner in the real world) I imagined celebrating a gorgeous summer day next to a lake with my future kids, my beautiful wife, our extended families, our best friends, and a handful of execs from my growing business. We celebrated life, love, human spirit, and doing-good. In that dream, my wife and I had just come back from an exciting trip to Africa and Asia, where we met fascinating people and helped bringing them valuable knowledge and resources. We were eager to share with our loved ones the fascinating stories from our trip about the wonderful people we met and helped.

I distinctively remember the smiles and laughs in that special celebration of giving and life. I also remember the joy I felt for bringing all the people I loved together to enjoy each other’s company, amazing stories, great music, delicious foods and lovely wines. The memory is so vivid that I can almost smell the beautiful flowers that decorated our reunion of family and friends. I’ve always liked making and enjoying art, and in my mind, every flower is a form of art that nature produces to celebrate beauty, giving, and the creation of life.

The art of creation has always been an important part of my life. I still remember the “Time-machine” I built when I was a child, which helped me daydream about my future. With my ragged desktop computer, using less computing power than I have in my current watch, I programed a simple app that helped me easily “assemble” exciting dreams about the future. Using this app I could instantaneously “jump” with my imagination to the all the countries in the world I always wanted to visit, to all the businesses I wanted to build, and to the happy family I wanted to nurture. The simple “database” I created included all the things I wanted to do and see and all the things I wanted to learn. With the logic I programmed into my Time-Machine, I was able to create fascinating imaginary life journeys that became the blueprints for my daydreams.

Weaving dreams was so much fun – it helped me create a vision for my future life as an adult. It was the best preparation for the adventurous, ambitious, and caring lifestyle I’ve adopted when I grew up. My Time-Machine helped me safely experiment, explore, and “experience” what a wide array of undertakings, challenges, and accomplishments would make me feel. I programmed my Time-Machine, and then it programmed me.

Once my Time-Machine worked, I was thrilled to share it with the many good friends I had growing up. I loved their feedback and ideas, and even more so, I loved how they used the Time-Machine I built to weave their own dreams, and sometime even combine them with mine. Dreaming together with friends and translating these dream to fun adventures we’ve gone through together, shaped who I am today in both my personal and professional life.

A few months ago, after a long run along the coastline in Rancho Palos Verdes, when I tried to imagine what my ideal wife and family would look and feel like, the sweet memory of my good old Time-Machine came up. With a big smile on my face, I decided to visit to my parents to try and find it, so I can take another exciting walk on memory lane. When I discovered that my parents donated my old computer and disks, which hosted my Time Machine, I was pretty disappointed. However, pretty quickly, that state of mind gave way to feeling great. In my heart, I knew that there’s a good likelihood that there’s at least one child out there, who now has access to my Time-Machine, and that it can give him or her an opportunity to dream big dreams. I was very hopeful that this child was adventurous enough to embark on imaginary daydreams too, and that she or he was foolish enough to make these dreams come true!

While browsing my childhood photos in an old album at my parents’ house, it became clear to me that the Time-Machines that my own children will build would be so much better than the one that I build as a child… And it must be so much better because my children will have not only the genes that made me a dreamer, a builder and a serial hugger, but also the genes of an incredible partner, lover and best friend – my soon to be wife!

About my Soon-to-be Wife (i.e., the Love of my Life):

So… fast forwarding back to the present, when I’m fortunate enough to have already had many of my dreams come true, it’s time to daydream again (this time without my Time Machine) to imagine who would be my dream wife? Well… the Love of my Life is one of a kind. She’s the most affectionate, loving and caring person in the world. One can feel her positive energy when she enters a room – she’s one of these “angles” who everyone deeply adores. She’s always honest, unconditionally loyal, romantic, and a bit of a dreamer herself. She’s adventurous, beautiful and full of life.

My future wife is very genuine and comfortable in her own skin. Everyone admires her because she makes them feel good about themselves when she’s around. She’s loved her family and has many real friends whom she keeps in close touch with, and she’s always there for people she loves. She’s great with children, has the sweetest heart for all beings, and she almost always smiles. She’s also very intelligent, wise and thoughtful, but very humble about it. In her work, and in her personal life, she’s responsible, diligent and proactive, but balances these with a genuine understanding that everyone is human, and a natural sense of humor that everyone loves. vip-shield

Are you a match?

Age:
24-32 years old

Physical appearance:

Caucasian, Mixed heritage, or European heritage
Taller the better! 5’7” is a fantastic height (5’4” minimum)
Slender/athletic/feminine and keeping in great shape
Natural beauty and beautiful eyes are the key to the soul
Keeps a healthy diet more than a diet rich in fatty foods. Balance is key!

Personality:
Above all else, you are a caring, compassionate, and a kind person.
You are positive, happy, and you do the right thing in life. You like life!
You were raised well and perhaps look to your parents as role models.

Occupation/Education:
You are responsible, independent, and educated. In terms of the industry you work in, it doesn’t matter but what does matter is that you have time to get to know our VIP bachelor and are not 100% tied to work. In other words, you honestly can say you have balance in your life.
Smart is sexy for our client so the more educated, the better.

Personal Goals:
You are positioned for a deep, unequivocal love and can confidently state you are ready for marriage and what that entails.
You can picture being married, having 2 + children, and living in the Bay Area (our client runs a successful business here and has large ties to Silicon Valley and plans to stay here).

Lifestyle:
You are unattached and are not in a current committed relationship. In other words, we ask that you NOT move forward with our process if you are dating someone seriously that has a substantial probability of progressing into an exclusive relationship. This can lead to a waste of everyone’s time.
You enjoy meeting new people, would be considered social, and would welcome new friends into your life (our client is social and would want you to be included in his full and thriving life.)

Fascinating Academic Insights into the Matchmaking Industry

A few months ago I was contacted by a professor of sociology at St. Thomas More College University of Saskatchewan to participate in a study on matchmaking in North America. We spoke for around an hour by phone and after she completed her research, she sent me the research document filled with incredibly interesting discoveries about matchmaking. 535451_10150747499285804_895856513_n

Interviews lasted 52 minutes on average, and were conducted between March and May 2013. Participation in the research project was voluntary and entirely confidential, and the project obtained research ethics approval from the University of Saskatchewan’s Research Ethics Board. The final sample discussed here consists of conversations with 20 matchmakers representing 19 different companies (the one instance of matchmakers from the same company involves 2 matchmakers at different company branches in 2 distinct regions of the country).

This professor presented to a group of national and international colleagues in June and in a recent email to me said, “I was surprised to discover that many sociologists who study relationships and dating have little awareness of matchmaking’s place in the dating industry, and of why clients tend to seek out a matchmaker.”

This project’s main aims are to improve social scientists’ understandings of the North American matchmaking industry by interviewing matchmaking professionals and gaining insight into 1) why North Americans are turning to offline, personalized matchmaking services to assist with serious dating/couple formation, 2) the extent to which use of matchmaking services is connected to geographic and time constraints in clients’ lives, and 3) identifying other major motivations, choices and constraints involved in clients’ decision to work with a matchmaker.

I have extracted some of the findings for this blog yet did not include the entire publication. The publication is titled: MATCHMAKING IN NORTH AMERICA: An emerging option for couple formation

Findings:

The sample consists of 11 Canadian-based and 9 American-based matchmakers, for a total of 20 matchmakers. While 6 of the matchmakers say they frequently work with clientele or seek matches for clientele beyond the country in which they are based, most carry out the majority of their work and source matches for their clients within the country where their company is headquartered Sixteen of the matchmakers are the founder/co-founder and/or CEO of their company, while 4 are COO and/or senior matchmaker. The matchmakers have worked an average of 7.3 years in paid matchmaking work, and 18 report that matchmaking is their sole or primary job. (Some matchmakers noted that they had engaged in unpaid matchmaking work prior to working as paid matchmakers, but since this work was largely sporadic and casual, it is not included in the average years of experience.)

Matchmakers’ educational backgrounds, from most common to least common field, are 1) social sciences and social work, 2) business, finance and management, 3) arts (general), 4) hospitality and tourism, 5) law and education (tied). In terms of major field of employment prior to paid matchmaking, participants mentioned (from most to least common) 1) sales, financial services and client services (including sales at online dating agencies), 2) hospitality and the cultural sector, 3) management and headhunting/corporate recruitment, 4) social work.

When asked how and why they have chosen to work as matchmakers, participants spoke to a combination of factors that influenced their career choice. Consistently, matchmakers mentioned how their awareness of having the right skills or aptitude for the work influenced their decision to become paid matchmakers. They highlighted either excellent people skills (in particular, being highly intuitive or gifted at reading personalities and sensing others’ needs, and relating easily to people from a variety of backgrounds) or a combination of people skills and business acumen (namely knowing how to attract desired clientele and market their services effectively) as core components of their skills and aptitudes. In addition, several matchmakers mentioned that their extroversion is an asset, and that they feel energized by their interactions with others. The matchmakers’ core skills and aptitudes were most often recognized and praised by others (friends, family, former colleagues, mentors) prior to individuals making the transition into matchmaking work; in a few instances, successful attempts at casual matchmaking with friends and family members fueled individuals’ desire to take up matchmaking professionally.

The skills and aptitudes noted above, however, were necessary but not sufficient causes for individuals to pursue work as paid matchmakers. All matchmakers also noted awareness of a business niche to be filled in their geographic area— either no other matchmakers worked in their focal geographic area, nobody in their geographic area focused on the target demographic they had in mind, or nobody in their geographic area used the particular matchmaking approach or method that they intended to use.

In the study, several matchmakers emphasized that being self-employed and/or having a flexible schedule added to matchmaking’s appeal, and 5 matchmakers spoke in detail about how their decision to work as a matchmaker came after (or as part of) a major—and often jarring—life transition that pushed them to reevaluate their personal and professional goals. For these matchmakers in particular, but for several others as well, there is a clear empathic dimension that they bring to their work with clients.

Seven matchmakers spoke openly about having “been there” in the same dating trenches as their clients, and could attest to the challenges and disappointments of dating, particularly in mid-life with diminished opportunities and venues for finding a long-term partner. Read this feature on Linx in Fortune to hear about my having been there ‘in the trenches’ just like so many readers here. I get it! Young beautiful girl in love

Along with demonstrating empathy for clients’ situations, most matchmakers also emphasized, but usually spoke positively about, the significant emotional labor involved in matchmaking. They stressed that matchmaking is “not easy money” for the emotional investment it demands, involves “intensive coaching,” “a lot of hand holding” and “being like a sister or cheerleader” who will offer reassurance and support through a process that often leaves clients feeling vulnerable. That said, most emphasized that they find their work immensely rewarding and feel that the satisfaction of creating lasting matches offsets any emotionally draining aspects of the work. Two matchmakers said that they have been “yelled at many times” by clients, and attribute these incidents to clients’ unrealistic expectations (this theme is explored in greater detail below in the Major themes and trends section). These matchmakers went on to explain that matchmaking requires a thick skin, and that matchmakers must actively coach clients in setting reasonable expectations.

I couldn’t agree more with the paragraph above. This work is NOT for anyone who is susceptible to becoming overly emotionally over their work. I’ve remained a systematic Silicon Valley machine for over a decade now as I keep incredibly focused on my business. I am a tightly scheduled, master of organization, and relentless in the pursuit of my clients happiness (often it means running on limited sleep and my friends being irked with my contestant hamster wheel work ethic approach-especially when I am so hard to schedule fun things with.)

I also have learned to have a thick skin due to the nature of this business. For instance, yesterday I got a scathing email from a passive member client because this particular person has not found love yet (granted this person has received many matches and I’ve been extremely judicious and professional along the journey.) A “Patti” would have YELLED back and told the client to go “F-yourself and Get Out Of My Club!” but I’m not like that- AT ALL. As clinical and calm as I had hoped to be, I was really affected by the nature of the email. It was just so out of the blue. When I had been this clients cheerleader…then all of a sudden what felt like poisonous arrows being thrown my way had totally engulfed me. A fact for everyone- I’m not Copperfield as much as I think that would be tremendously cool, I just don’t seem to have been given those talents to perform matchmaking “magic.” Thus, at the end of the day, I too, am human.

An interesting trend I have found in running Linx is that I am not surprised by the number of eager, bright-eyed folks who want to open their own matchmaking firm. Most of these people contact me wanting to “team up” and “create a strategic approach to merge networks” when they are in the infancy stage of their businesses. Sometimes I hear “at Harvard Business School” we learned that “you are supposed to create alliances as such.” Um, ok?!

I listen and hear what they have to say but in most cases, I have turned them away. I wish them success, luck, and know they will be swimming in a big ‘ol sea, probably feeling a lot of anxiety about how to even begin. Yet that feeling of anxiety can be channeled into good stress as it happens to be THE MOST exciting time as the seeds have been planted and the business starts to blossom. Once you begin something like this, it starts to multiply very quickly taking on complex new directions, a whole host of wild demands/requests. I hate saying this but the fact is most of these aspiring matchmakers sink and move onto a new career. They are unable to handle the pressure, have the sheer focus to get the business off the ground, maintain their professionalism, be ethical, establish a brand, grow a network, do a good job at the actual matchmaking and so on. iStock_000008297937XSmall

Back to the study…Major Themes and Trends from the study

1) The role of the Internet and Internet dating in clients’ work with matchmakers

Matchmakers estimate that an average of 2/3 of their clients have tried online dating before seeking out their services. Within this population, the majority have ceased dating online by the time they contact a matchmaker, and most have turned away from the method because of frustration and dissatisfaction. While 2 matchmakers said that they see Internet dating as a positive or worthwhile strategy alongside working with a matchmaker, the rest spoke to how it has negatively affected dating and/or daters’ mentalities by fostering a “kid in the candy store” mentality whereby daters are always searching for the “bigger, better deal” instead of focusing on getting to know the people they date. Several matchmakers noted that this attitude of trading up or treating dates as disposable had soured their clients’ attitudes toward online dating, and the majority said that they do not advocate Internet dating, whether as a stand-alone dating strategy or strategy alongside working with them. Matchmakers against online dating also noted that the strategy does not offer a worthwhile return on the dater’s time investment, particularly in the case of the high-earning professionals who make up the bulk of matchmakers’ clientele; further, it does not offer the discretion that matchmakers’ clients typically seek. Matchmakers also noted the tendency for dishonesty and misrepresentation among online daters, and said that their female clients, in particular, often turned to matchmaking as a way of avoiding the disappointment and frustration connected to daters’ misrepresentations (namely surrounding martial status, age, current physical appearance and financial/career stability).

While not directly connected to online dating, but also concerning the negative impact of new(er) technologies on dating and couple formation, 8 matchmakers spoke extensively about the negative effect that they see text messaging has had on dating and relationships. They explained that communication by texting is problematic insofar as it 1) is prone to causing greater misunderstandings, and therefore greater insecurities, in a couple (particularly in very early stages of dating); 2) is less polite than speaking over the phone or in person (again, particularly in the early stages of dating), and fails to convey respect or serious intent when a man uses text messaging to ask a woman out on a subsequent date; 3) takes new couples away from the face time and phone time that help them develop a deeper understanding of one another and determine compatibility and chemistry. Five matchmakers said that they give explicit phone and texting etiquette instruction to clients—their suggested texting etiquette usually involves zero text interaction until the relationship is firmly established and exclusive. Once the relationship takes off, matchmakers suggest very limited use of texting for very quick logistical conversations (e.g. “Meet me at the restaurant at 6 p.m.”). Matchmakers spoke of their extreme disappointment when clients do not heed their advice about texting, and say that texting has caused unnecessary dating “drama” in clients from the 20s up to their 70s. There does not appear to be a particular age group that is most likely to ignore matchmakers’ texting etiquette.

2) The role of career/career development in men and women using matchmakers

Particularly in younger clients (i.e. those up to their early 40s), matchmakers noted a common theme of work/career demands that have kept clients from looking seriously for a long-term partner until they reach an age when opportunities to meet eligible singles have dwindled (i.e. until most peers that they meet through social and work activities have married or paired off into relationships). In particular, they see this in their clients who are entrepreneurs, whose work has been particularly all-consuming and left little time for dating. There appears to be no significant gender gap regarding career demands and use of matchmakers—in this sample, matchmakers spoke equally of men and women whose careers have left minimal time for forming relationships. For matchmakers’ clients, career development has precluded relationship formation mostly because of time restrictions, but geographic mobility and multi-city living connected to the client’s career also appear to play smaller roles (and male clients cite mobility and multi-city living as factors more often than women).

Whereas some matchmakers spoke of their clients’ career demands and impact on dating factually and uncritically, others took a more critical view that clients have not “had” time to find a serious partner because they have not made time to do so. Those who took a more critical approach said that they frequently coach clients on the importance of carving out time for dating and building relationships and the need to prioritize relationships or find reasonable work-life balance in spite of career demands. On this note, 3 matchmakers expressed disappointment in some of their clients’ “stalled” relationships that have not progressed (or have progressed very slowly) toward marriage because partners continue to invest heavily in their careers at the expense of their relationship.

3) (Un)realistic expectations about the product and process

When asked what they find most frustrating or challenging about their work, matchmakers most commonly spoke about their clients’ unrealistic expectations with regard to the matchmaking process and outcomes, and relationships more broadly. Several matchmakers commented that when meeting and developing a rapport with a new client, they are careful to say that they do not sell or offer love per se, but rather the opportunity to meet high-quality individuals with whom a client may form a loving and committed relationship. Particularly at the outset of the matchmaker-client collaboration, matchmakers note that some clients have an unrealistic expectation that they will meet the love of their life, and that this will happen quickly. While matchmakers agree that meeting the love of one’s life is a central aim of the matchmaking process, and are pleased when this happens within a short time frame, many must remind clients to be patient and to realize that a match with a compatible individual may not yield the chemistry and mutual interest needed for love to develop. They are also careful to balance statements about how successful they have been in matching clients with a disclaimer that they cannot guarantee a long-term match as an outcome of their collaboration. Matchmakers also expressed concern at several clients’ conflation of compatibility in a relationship and the idea that a relationship requires no work or compromise; they were surprised by how often clients expect a serious relationship to thrive with little work at communication and compromise.

Several matchmakers pointed out that their clients tend to be “Type A” personalities who are highly driven and used to getting whatever they ask for. In some cases, this manifests in unrealistic demands or expectations about who they will be matched with. Did you ever read the incredibly well written piece featuring a Linx client as he searches for the one in San Francisco Magazine? This story showcases some of the wild demands from Linx clients.

Specifically, 5 matchmakers said they often work with clients who expect to be matched with people who are, in the matchmakers’ words, physically “way out of their league” (namely, older men asking to be matched with much younger and/or much more attractive women, or women requesting matches with much younger and/or physically fitter men). In these cases, most matchmakers take a soft or diplomatic approach in suggesting that these unrealistic clients broaden their search criteria. Typically, the client acquiesces to the matchmaker’s suggestions, but 2 matchmakers cited repeated instances of being yelled at by clients when the clients perceived their matches or the matchmaker’s suggestions to be sub-par. Another matchmaker, who did not report having been yelled at, nonetheless spoke about how being a matchmaker requires developing a “thick skin” to deal with difficult and demanding clients.

4) Stigma and awkwardness

According to matchmakers, most people who self-select into working with a matchmaker “get” the idea of hiring a professional to help them with their love life. Many clients outsource work in other areas of their lives, so do not see anything awkward or shameful about extending this model of efficiency into the realm of their relationships. That said, nearly half of all matchmakers noted that they have clients who express feelings of embarrassment during initial meetings. Matchmakers consistently noted that this is more common amongst their male clients, for whom “ego gets in the way,” than it is for women who tend to approach matchmakers with greater confidence and minimal or no feelings of shame about using their services. For male clients who express initial embarrassment, matchmakers say that this feeling tends to fade as the client becomes more involved in the process.

But, whereas most clients express little or minimal embarrassment to matchmakers about working with them, most also tell matchmakers that they keep their use of the services a secret from friends, family and colleagues; this is largely out of fear that they will be negatively judged for their inability to find a partner on their own. Matchmakers are very rarely invited to clients’ weddings, since clients do not like to go public with how they met their partner. I am invited to many weddings and in some cases not. Often clients will share their stories here.

Overall, matchmakers spoke optimistically about their expectation that the practice will continue to lose its stigma and become a more widely respected form of couple formation. They also mentioned that many clients view matchmaking as a much less stigmatized activity than online dating.

5) Issues surrounding gender

Several of the themes outlined above touch on gender, but the issues below deal most directly with gender. When asked about what their clients are seeking in a partner, matchmakers responded that clients typically say they are looking for a mixture of traditional and modern elements in a relationship. Specifically, clients of both genders prefer dual-career relationships, regardless of whether they also desire children within the relationship. As one matchmaker puts it, men are showing a strong preference for “Michelle Obama” type partners (i.e. true equals in the private and public spheres). Another matchmaker summarizes a similar trend in clients’ desires as “bimbos are out,” and explains that male clients find career women most desirable. While matchmakers and clients express a preference for egalitarian relationships, 5 matchmakers said that they encourage their clients to blend the egalitarian model with male chivalry and believe it is always a man’s job to organize and pay for dates. As one matchmaker phrased it, couples should get “back to the basics” of men taking the lead romantically while respecting fundamental gender equality.

6) Defining “success” in matchmaking

Although the majority of matchmakers interviewed say that marriage is the ultimate goal of their services, they define “success” in matchmaking as anything from a matched couple going on a second date to a matched couple getting married. Another matchmaker defines success as finding the right caliber of person for a client—someone who is outstanding, regardless of where the match leads after the first introduction. Most often, matchmakers define success as the moment when a matched couple becomes exclusive, regardless of whether the relationship culminates in marriage. Many matchmakers emphasized that success, to them, is not just about making matches that last—a collaboration with a client is always a success if it engages the client in a process of personal growth (and, oftentimes, improved self-confidence) that opens the door to finding love and living authentically.

Matchmakers reported mixed feelings when matched clients (typically clients whose contracts have since expired) “fall of the grid” and quit keeping in touch. Some matchmakers are diligent in keeping in touch with former clients long after their collaboration has ended, but most do not—typically because they do not want to “pester” former clients. Some “snoop around” (e.g. online) to find clues as to whether a couple they matched months or years prior is still together.

7) Reality TV: Helping or hurting matchmaking’s reputation?

This was not a topic that I expected to discuss consistently with matchmakers, but it came up often. Matchmakers spoke positively about how reality T.V. shows about matchmaking—i.e. Millionaire Matchmaker (Bravo), Arrange Me a Marriage (BBC), Love Broker (Bravo) —have raised the overall visibility of the profession. At the same time, they expressed concern at how some portrayals of the matchmaking process, particularly those on Millionaire Matchmaker episodes, are highly sensationalized and do not reflect typical client-matchmaker, affiliate-matchmaker or client-affiliate relations. In particular, matchmakers noted that their approach is more “subtle” than the approach of matchmakers typically found on reality T.V. shows, and that their clientele is “classy and discreet” as compared to the brash clients featured on Millionaire Matchmaker. They are confident, however, that the general public is aware of the disparity between matchmaking in reality shows and typical matchmaking processes.

New Linx Testimonial ! 30-something exec female, Ivy League educated marries incredible man!

I originally was introduced to Amy in Summer 2010 and heard about Linx from friends who had met and worked with Amy and were very impressed with her and the quality of Linx matches. Living in San Francisco I found it difficult to find the right match who was looking for the same long-term goals as myself. I had had long term relationships with great guys but ultimately the common theme was there were missing pieces for discussions of marriage or they simply where not in the right place to contemplate getting really serious.

I met Amy in June 2010 and the experience was surprisingly great. Her approach is straight forward, honest and she seemed to really get me. I knew this was a leap of faith and I felt in trusted hands and that she could increase my odds and what could I lose in doing this? If anything meet some nice new guys and make a few new friends. Linx placed me across from a few great guys that I would not have met otherwise. Even in the brief amount of time Amy spent me with in her office, she really hit the nail on the head of identifying good guys for me who shared the same goals, background, etc and I would never have met these guys in my normal course of life. Young couple

On match 7th, I met my husband. We shared our first date in San Francisco and I felt that he was interesting, cute and really easy to spend time with it just felt easy. We starting spending large amounts of time together very early on and it felt like things evolved very naturally without any stress or different goals he really seemed to understand me and loved me for me quirks and all.

He proposed on a ski trip, the site of our third date on our one year anniversary! He feigned exhaustion one night to stay at the hotel, he had shipped the ring to Colorado (without insurance, thank you FEDEX!) and was in a panic trying to hide it and conceal the surprise. I came back from the spa and the room was decorated with rose petals and my favorite food. When I asked why I was such a lucky girl he said it was to mark our one year anniversary together and then he proposed and ended up putting the ring on the wrong hand. So cute. It was amazing!!!

We married in summer 2013 and lived happily ever after (just kidding this is a true story!)

Linx is great as it opened up my horizons to meet people I would never normally have met, Amy is very professional intuitive and a joy to work with. I highly recommend her service!”

New VIP Search for a CEO in Silicon Valley

We have just embarked on a new VIP search at Linx. We are representing a late 40’s confident and entrepreneurial CEO in the Valley who exemplifies the caliber we love working with at Linx. Our client is a distinguished and athletic Caucasian gentleman who is over 6’2″ and with a full head of light brown hair. He’s a lifelong athlete and leads a healthy and balanced lifestyle and hopes that his dream girl leads an equally sporty, outdoorsy, and balanced life too. He tries to eat well and is a moderate drinker (if that.)

He’s Ivy League educated for both undergraduate and his graduate degree. He’s intellectual, loves philosophizing a wide range of topics, and would greatly enjoy sharing a novel together on a warm summer night. What stands out for me in particular besides his good looks and pedigree is that this man is at his core a really good person. He is caring, communicative, compassionate, and has a developed emotional intelligence.

He’s an inherently private gentleman who lives his life pretty under the radar. He focuses his time and energy running a fast growing venture backed company and maintaining buoyancy in his personal life. His anchors are his Christian value system and strong core foundation of trying to always do the right thing, while thinking of others.

Our client is a family man and takes tremendous pride in being a dedicated and very present father and role model to his children. His dream match has a very warm and nurturing nature about her. In fact maybe she has a child of her own and/or would love a baby! A household of rugrats running around, backyard BBQs, sleepovers, popsicle stains, and laughter…bring it on! 8346259699_4a5927bf8f_h

This VIP desires a woman who is in her early 30’s to 40-ish. She is a Caucasian, Asian American, or of Mixed heritage. She is a natural beauty and keeping extraordinarily healthy. Her physique is slender with gorgeous feminine curves. She is taller, no one under 5’5″ please, with high cheekbones and a nice sense of style. She is at her core: extremely sweet, down-to-earth (not interested in keeping up with the Joneses) kind-hearted, loyal, compassionate, and just easy to be around. No drama! In other words, his dream girl is emotionally stable, balanced, and happy. Locating a Christian would be the icing on the cake or at least someone who is agnostic or spiritual and willing to embrace some of his values would be lovely.

Our client has no plans to leave the Silicon Valley Peninsula area. So if you or anyone you know would ultimately want to move that is not a match for him. If you believe you make a strong match candidate or know someone who might be the perfect lady for our VIP, please email me at amy@linxdating.com. Thank you and truly…this is one upstanding man you won’t find online or at a bar. He chose Linx because of our scrupulous vetting, personalization, and utmost quality match we can offer him.

Follow me on Twitter @linxdating

Opportunity for Young Professionals in Silicon Valley

Are you a 20 or 30-something in Silicon Valley and in tech? Linx has been approached by a well-known publication about doing a story on the dating scene in Silicon Valley.start-ups-silicon-valley

We’d love your opinion and to get involved! We are interested in how Silicon Valley is unique from the rest of the world and why. We need first person experiences, opinions and insights. What makes it a challenge? What makes it great? How has it is different from other dating scenes?

Do you have anecdotes, opinions, points of view and even advice you can share?

This is completely anonymous… Please email me ASAP today amy@linxdating.com if you are a female/male who would like to contribute your thoughts with the journalist. I will put you directly in touch. Thank you so much!

Love is in the Air

I am off to the airport for a business trip till Friday and look forward to meeting a very successful and eligible gentleman over lunch tomorrow. It’s top secret right now and will remain rather hush hush. It’s to explore potentially working together and seeing if he likes the Linx approach and what we could offer him. I’m super excited! plane+val

This week has been extremely busy per usual. I just wrapped a great date coaching session with a bright and eager young woman. We chatted about artfully preparing for dates and subjects she can discuss with ease and passion. She’s super fascinating- very smart, super well rounded, and very warmhearted. We interviewed a family centric, kind, and super smart 32 year old female yesterday. She splits her time between Manhattan and the Bay Area. Really impressive.

This week the emails have continued to pour in at an astonishing rate. I get hundreds of inquiries day for matchmaking and keeping up with the deluge of requests is a new and fun challenge. The casting we are having in June for females who have submitted information to meet the male VIPs is officially sold out and the casting we are hosting July 11th and 12th is booking up quick.

Next week we have a very handsome VIP male coming on board which I am super jazzed about: CEO, good looking, Ivy educated, and much more. Stay tuned. Do you have have dating or love related questions? Email me at amy@linxdating.com I would love the chance to blog about your question and my response keeping it super anonymous of course.
And please follow me on Twitter @linxdating

Entrepreneur Lessons

I thought this week would be sort of a chill one. My assistant is in Japan right now and with her being away I dialed back the typical high volume meetings we normally have for a little less intensity on the work front. Maybe a week off? Think again. This week has been one of the busiest ones in ages and I swear I say that each week to myself as I huff and puff in the bathroom getting ready for work thinking how could it get any crazier but really this one is major.

My days seem to start drifting into one another where I tell myself I need “more hours” in the day to get stuff done. When an email and call comes in I wish I had twenty fingers to quickly respond to the deluge of emails and calls. I used to never be a morning person, in fact growing up I had a true disdain for mornings. I was *that* kid in school who loved faking a tummy ache so I could sleep a little more.  I was also that kid who loved sleeping in and then mom making me ridiculously delicious stacks of homemade pancakes smothered in butter and rich Aunt Jemima syrup dripping off and playing a little hooky.  What’s wrong with a little vacation and play day with mom? Those were the days!

Now with the demands of my job and Linx truly being on the so-called map in a huge way, my previous repulsion of morning has started to drift away as I evolve as a founder, small business owner, wife, and mother to our pup. It has actually been our dog who has helped shift my body clock to become more of a morning person. He wakes up at the crack of dawn stretching and giving us the sweetest little puppy kisses ever. It’s feeding time and game on for him!  While that is my husband’s job, I can’t help but sort of toss and turn by his affection and the fact that my two favorite guys are already wide awake. hopper.morning-sunMorning Sun by Edward Hopper

I used to do the majority of all client interviews in the later afternoon hours and evening hours. Bang three out in one night, last interview with new client ending wrapping at 10:00pm in my old office in Palo Alto. I’d do my personal notes from my assessment of the interview and then deliriously cruise home for dinner at 11:00pm most week nights. It just wasn’t healthy nor balanced in anyway. I had truthfully always believed my clients wanted evening hours since they were all busy professionals working during the day. I’ve learned in my business lessons of running my company, when it comes to matters of the heart people will do what it takes to carve out time for themselves at any hour of the day for a meeting with me. Morning. Noon. Night. It doesn’t matter.

My sacred time has now become the silence of the morning with the sun rising. The occasional car passing by, the birds starting the sing their songs, and Peninsula Cal Train’s faint horn sound in the distance. I actually now really enjoy doing morning meetings. In fact, I love wrapping my client interviews by 2:00pm so I can have time to reflect on notes and then get to emails in the afternoon. Ironically I find my mind is a ton sharper and I’m more “on” in the morning. I’m ready to go, excited for the day, and can hardly wait to get to start discussions with my first client. For an entrepreneur in Silicon Valley it is a complete rush of endorphins and a massive satisfaction of absolutely loving being a passionate and innovative entrepreneur here. 94.428_01_a02                   Coffee by Richard Diebenkorn

Last night I worked with a prospect by phone quite late as he doesn’t like computers and does everything he can to get away from them. I had sent him his Linx application and other materials to get started on weeks ago and in our call last night before today’s big meeting he admitted he was *that* kid at Stanford who waited till 12:00am to complete his homework for that day. Some things don’t change. I’ve learned that not every new client is the same on many fundamental levels. As a CEO you have to be nimble and adapt to what he or she might feel more comfortable with.

I had a very long day yesterday and luckily sweated it out some at the gym which I really needed (blog post on that coming soon) yet was not as nearly prepared as I always am for today’s meeting since my client had not sent me ANY of his materials. I acted quickly and responded to a way I knew he would appreciate. I took am hour and a half on the phone with him dancing through my database and application questions in an effortless way for him. He was more than happy to share everything on the phone and will do the same in person today but just having to fill out forms isn’t his thing. I get that. If I had been too rigid about my standard methodology and forcing him to do it my way, I would have absolutely lost him as a potential amazing client. In fact he texted me the other day saying “Are you sure you aren’t from New York?” I wrote back saying, “Why, cuz I work all the time?” He said, “No cause you are so persistant…and that is a good thing.” I smiled. As a former Wall Street financier he respects my drive and creativity too where sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get the job done.

Luckily we went through all of the important points I need in order to represent him as a client last night. Now it’s a new day and the birds are chirping. The sun is slowing rising and there seem to be more cars buzzing by on this Friday morning. Maybe families are getting out of dodge at 5:30am before everyone else for the holiday weekend. As I reflect on this blog entry I can’t help but smile. I watch as my pup is asleep in front of me and laugh as my husband is at a kickboxing class right now (talk about a maniac..blog entry for later on that one too!). My stomach is starting to rumble. I can’t help but crave those pancakes with gooey and totally artificial fantastic syrup. 865339_com_pancakePancakes by Wayne Thiebaud

The artists selected here: Hopper, Diebenkorn, and Thiebaud reflect some of my favorite contemporary artists. Interestingly they each had an influence on one another.