Silicon Valley Dating Network

Success! VIP Bachelorette Search Event Last Week!

Last week we spent July 10th, 11th and 12th at the luxurious St. Regis hotel in San Francisco searching for the perfect, needle in a haystack, dream bachelorette for a young 32 year old VIP bachelor client.

Our featured song is Jody Watley Looking For A New Love. 

My assistant, Aimi, and I checked in and literally hit the ground running for the next few days (in my typical style, I only left the hotel from check-in on Tuesday to departure at 1:00am on Saturday for 5 minutes mid week for a quick breath of fresh air!)  The style was individual private meetings with exceptionally stunning and brilliant women who had submitted their information as part of this search. In a few cases, my team recruited some women that we felt should be considered for the event. 

These women couldn’t have been more impressive, poised, fun to be around, and taking this process so seriously. I really am still flabbergasted at the quality of these women (think Ivy League education, young professionals, having it ALL going on, very attractive, family values, sweet, witty, and warm hearted.)

It’s been such an honor that our bachelor has brought us on board to help him find the love of his life and truth is, we had no idea (nor did he) what a successful turn-out this event would be. 

The stage was set in our luxe suite at the St Regis and our bachelor wanted each detail to be perfect. Every. Little. Detail.

Think – gorgeous suite at the St. Regis with sweeping views of San Francisco, multiple exotic floral arrangements, hand crafted chocolates as thank you gifts, French champagne, artisanal breads and cheeses, candles and soft music. The setting was super comfortable and environment conducive to open-up about love and potentially getting to meet this class-act of a gentleman.

The pièce de résistance was a collection of giclée canvases that our bachelor requested being showcased in the suite. What guy thinks of these things?! He is so creative and has such an attention to detail that so many do not. From a canvas about his passion for skiing in Europe, to a simple painting of a serene moonlit landscape, the idea was to inspire stories/ideas/thoughts from each of the lovely women that attended. 

We spent very long (15 hour plus and yes lots of coffee fueling us) exciting days personally sitting down and meeting each candidate asking them intimate details about their relationship history, family background, and what is the most challenging aspect about potentially dating themselves!  Aimi and I enjoyed a couple of late nights in our St Regis bathrooms burning there midnight oil! You can imagine that there were so many stories and personal thoughts we had to put into a document for our bachelor , that THIS part of the week was extremely labor intensive for us. I’ll tell you no other matchmaker anywhere would ever think to go to this length or desire getting every scrupulous detail to ensure a successful outcome. Every. Little. Detail. 

Candidate after candidate, conversation after conversation- we were so impressed at the underlying elegance and openness that these women brought to this cool opportunity. I think most agreed that this opportunity was just so hands down unusual. It isn’t typical for a guy in the Bay Area (San Francisco no less) to retain a company like Linx to help him in his quest for his dream wife (especially at his young age.) Most 32 years old are doing the Chestnut Street bar crawl. Tipsy Pig no thanks!

In my conversations leading up to the event, he really could not believe that these gorgeous and smart women were there to potentially meet him! He was so  honored and just really blown-away by the whole orchestration and overwhelming response. In a meeting leading up to the event the night before, he sat across from me, almost teary eyed at how blessed and humbled he felt. 🙂

As exciting and interesting as this entire journey has been – the hardest part is all the anticipation as to who our VIP Bachelor will choose. It just takes one girl and the reality is he is making some careful decisions currently. He might choose one or two to have dates with, maybe more, maybe less. In the end, these girls might realize they don’t want to meet him. It goes both ways. Something tells me this won’t be the case.

We will be doing more VIP events in the near future and possible an international search as well. Linx is always looking for the next VIP client to allow him or her to help with their dream search and making every little detail count!

 

 

Fido Helps You Get the Girl or Guy

Have you thought about the impact a four legged creature could have on going from single and searching to blissfully coupled up?  

Previously, I’ve shared some insight on my beloved pup and how much joy he’s brought to the lives of my husband and I. Now, I’d like to elaborate a bit on why you should get a dog, especially if you’re single! (and of course love pets)

Chances are, you probably haven’t considered how impactful  a dog can be for you in terms of getting more dates.

Why? Here are just a few reasons:

They get you out & about! — this is the first step to meeting more people in the first place, outside of your apartment!

They naturally draw you to the company of other people who already share a common interest (people like you)  – ie. at the vet, the dog park, around town, or just about anywhere you’d be walking or spending time with your dog.

Having a dog really helps you “break the ice” – I see it happening time and time again even when I’m on a stroll with Marshall – if people are within close enough proximity, they will take a moment to make a comment or strike a conversation.

Having a pet gives you something to talk about – sharing training methods, dog foods, funny stories and so on. 

AND if you’re talking about dogs for quite some time – you’ve already surpassed a huge hurdle in the dating world – and that is finding a shared interest. 

Another Linx couple gets engaged

We obsess about our clients and have a special affinity with those who are coupled up. Linx’s small side venture, Princess Proposals, had the pleasure in helping one gentleman client plan his perfect proposal to his now fiancé, Rachel just yesterday. 

This couple were first matched in August of 2011 (both one another’s second Linx introduction) and quickly became exclusive shortly after summer of last year.  

They bonded through their love of the outdoors, fitness, and faith. What I really respect about watching this happy couple from the side lines was no drama, honest intentions, and just no matter what they always are so content with one another. No need for high end wining and dining or 5 star trips to woo one another. 

Mark came to me about one month ago, certain that he is ready to take the next big step with Rachel and expressed that he wanted a little help to plan the perfect proposal. He already had a very elegant and special ring custom made, the perfect cocktail dress picked out for her and together we  brainstormed on the location being at Cavallo Point in Sausalito with glorious San Francisco views. 



Running Linx has brought me so much joy, seeing happily exclusive couples occur as a result of joining Linx. In starting Princess Proposals I wanted to be a small part in helping the couples plan for the perfect proposal before taking the next BIG step together; making it a seem less and everlasting memory for the couple. 



As I’ve been working with Mark and Rachel for almost exactly a year now, I really got to know them and learned that they are both just so down to earth, enjoy the simple things in life and are so genuinely grateful for the connection they have with one another. I worked with Mark this past month on planning the special little details of the day – including: having photos printed, hand writing a love letter, finding out what her favorite colors are, helping him plan an itinerary for the day and really walking him through each step and just having him focus on the most important thing – the actual proposal and his soon to be fiancé. Stress free!


I wanted to make sure that Rachel felt like a princess throughout the entire day and had so much fun gathering the photos from Mark and loading up with beautiful decorations for their  dinner table at Murray Circle and their contemporary VIP suite at the Cavallo Lodge – as they ended their evening after the proposal.   

 

Lingering Doubts Before Getting Engaged?

Have you been out of the dating scene for a long time because you’ve been focusing on personal and professional growth and suddenly you think you’ve found “the one” but are still feeling hesitant to take the plunge – i.e. marriage?

Perhaps you are feeling like you need that last bit of “reassurance” – just to “make sure” he/she is “the one.”

So, what do you do?

Do you follow your “gut feeling” and take the next big step toward full commitment? Do you continue to “date around?” Do you….phone a friend?

Well, I am seeing time and time again for people who haven’t really dated a ton (compared to high volume daters), that once they get matched, they couple up very quickly because everything is perfectly aligned – the physical attraction is on point, values and goals are closely correlated, sparks are firing and the timing is right. 

As things are moving rapidly and the feelings are amazing and it quickly becomes “serious,” they often need that “last gut check” to make sure the timing really is right for marriage. I’ve had many clients in this position contact me for an additional introduction to a new person, in a very casual setting, i.e. no dinner date (less guilt) and more like a coffee ‘conversation’ as a final “date” to give them that nudge to either move forward or take a step back with the person about whom they are really serious.

I am a firm believer in following your gut feelings and recognizing that when you’ve got a great thing going, there may not be flashing signs or lightning bolts but if you are in a happy relationship, muster up that courage and take the next step!

However, when my clients come to me in this situation, I am more than happy to give them that little “nudge” even if it means setting them up on one last casual date to seal the deal because it does take a lot of courage to take a step back, re-evaluate and seek a bit of “help” before making such a big decision. And because the choice to get married is so individual – I find that this is a wonderful way to step out of that microcosm for a moment and to take a look at their current relationship from a different perspective before ultimately making a decision.

The bigger picture here – simply do what feels right. Sometimes we humans unconsciously make things more difficult than they need to be. If you find yourself in a wonderful, exclusive relationship and marriage feels right – take the plunge! If you’re feeling a bit nervous or uncertain about it – address the issues and keep moving forward. Either way, choose love and you can’t go wrong 😉

Have you found yourself in a similar situation? If so, how did you overcome the feeling of needing that little “nudge” to get you over the hump? Do share!

​Gentlemen, is your game on point?

Confident or arrogant? What she thinks.

We all know there is a very fine line between the two and I’d like to share some of what I’m hearing from our female clients and friends of Linx.

Sure, women are visual but probably not as visual as you think especially in comparison to their male counterparts (generally speaking). When it comes to external appearance, education, profession and interests; every woman has their “head turner” and sweet spot attributes but what I hear consistently what they desire in a match is confidence.

What I’ve learned is that there really is no right or wrong “technique” when it comes to being confident in regards to dating. Often it’s worth thinking about the less obvious ways to “appear” confident including doing things you wouldn’t normally do (or are fearful of) – when dating.

We suggest getting out of your comfort zone and trying new things; such as going dancing (even if you have 2 left feet), karaoke-ing, or a cooking class (even if your idea of cooking is the Whole Foods salad bar). Women find it very sexy when a man can own up to the things in which he “can’t do” but tries anyway with charisma and has fun doing so. It’s almost as if he doesn’t really care how he looks. He can be that goofball guy and laugh at himself in the process. That is uber sexy! He doesn’t have to be the show-off guy or know-it-all, instead he can admit that he’s never picked up a microphone to karaoke or diced a legume in his life.

Another key to being confident is just really being yourself (maybe too obvious?) Perhaps you haven’t been on a date in a very long time, you aren’t sure if you’re dressed appropriately or even talking about the “right” things on the first few dates. Perhaps you have deeper rooted fears related to dating, rejection, approaching,  and socializing. We hear the all too common feedback from a first date in that he grilled her with questions ala interrogation (yikes) or on the flip side seemed wishy-washy about restaurant choices, ordering, and lacked “umph” and gumption on the date. Can’t there be a equilibrium between the two?

Confidence and true success in dating can be achieved by anyone through practice and preparedness (dating is a skill), being authentic, and feeling comfortable in doing so. Women tell us they want a man who has a strength from within, not a guy who masks his weakness by using pickup lines or unwarranted arrogance… genuine and lasting confidence stems from truly being you and feeling good in your own skin.
Once you have a strong understanding of who you are, and believing that you are enough, any insecurities you have regarding dating will fall by the wayside.  When dating, be honest and focus on what you are really seeking in a significant other and be proud of what you bring to the table and simply be you, because she will. Remember women love that guy who isn’t trying to be someone else. He’s funny, a gentleman, has a wide range of interesting date conversation topics ready, and if he is feeling “it”, he asks her out at the end of date 1.  That is confidence in a nutshell.

Spring, Linx Babies, New Clients

This has been an exciting week at Linx. Many new clients and finding out another Linx couple had a baby this week…..a gorgeous little girl! I’m so excited for them. Congrats! I look forward to meeting her in May.

Our featured new clients this week include a Caucasian, slender, pretty, leggy blond who’s in her  late 20’s, Stanford educated, and working in finance. She’s super down-to-earth, very athletic and sporty. Literally striking the perfect balance that guys love of ‘can get dirty and actually enjoy camping’ or look stunning in heels and a dress.  Her match is a guy who is brainy, confident, adventurous, and leads his life with high integrity. She is open to all heritages but you must be fit, healthy, and into all sports. 

Our next featured new client is a brainy 30-year-old MD female who is educated from an Ivy equivalent. She loves what she does helping others as a doctor and you will find this gorgeous dark-haired skinny girl to be strong, confident, opinionated, uber smart, and grounded. She’s a sweetheart but no wall flower! She loves tall Indian guys who are fit but she is open on ethnicity. Her match is loyal, sarcastic & witty, intellectual, and family centric. Post graduate education is a must.

Our next featured client is an articulate and confident mid 30’s Caucasian guy who is 6’2″, fit, and cute! He’s extremely grounded, down to earth, funny, and knows how to balance work and personal life well. He works in tech and is well-educated including his MBA. Super well-rounded and always up for anything at least once, you will find this catch to be adventurous, kind, and a great conversationalist with pretty much anyone he encounters. His match is the perfect mix of intellect meets witty. She is any ethnicity under 33 years old, fit, and sexy.

Our next featured client is late 20’s 6’3″ and handsome Asian American man who is Stanford educated for undergraduate and post-graduate work. He works in finance and we would consider him to be “the good guy.” He is super easy-going, amicable, warm-hearted, and very friendly. No hidden agendas with this young man. He is well rounded and loves dancing, grilling for friends, and travel. His match is max 29 years old, slender, and a classic beauty. She is social, willing to compromise (but has a strong sense of self), romantic, and a life-long learner like he is.

Email us if you would like to be considered to meet any of these incredible Linx members! amy@linxdating.com

Becoming a Client

What makes a good potential client for Linx Dating?

Most importantly, it is someone who has typically dabbled with other approaches for meeting eligible singles (i.e. checking out what online dating is like, setups through friends, going out on their own, etc.) and certainly someone who meets the overarching standards for the “type” we work with (educated, accomplished, well-rounded, interesting, fit, and marriage minded.)

Beyond those overarching points, a good new member of Linx is someone who can relax their ideal match criteria, in the sense that they are not unreasonably restrictive – someone who has their core “value set” of what they desire in a match but, beyond that, can be extremely elastic with their criteria.  This does not mean that a member shouldn’t have standards… it means that they should know what is most important to them and optimize from there.

This week I’ve had to reject a fair number of “good on paper” prospective clients for membership. Today was a case of a 39-year-old woman based in San Francisco who absolutely would not go above 45 years in age for her target guy. The ugly truth is that the odds are stacked against someone like this due to pure demographics. A lot of guys between 35 and 45, who have never been married before, desire biologically younger. 

When I explained that casting the widest net is really important in this process and that, knowing my business so well, I recommend she go beyond that age, her response was “no.”  I knew immediately that this prospect would be difficult on a lot of levels.  Not only is she too restrictive, she is not matchable to our male population.  Seeing how uninterested she was in even trusting from the start (considering I am an expert), my gut knew it was not a good fit.

Linx is NOT always about matching clients to older folks where there is not commonality… quite the opposite. Rather, it is about focused search and openness.  Finding a perfect match is already hard enough.  This is why I try to discern whether a potential client has thought hard about what is most critical to them (or else help them get there), and to see if they can chuck that long list of “must haves” and realize that not everything on that list is a “must.”

This also goes to show that Linx is different from so many run-of-the-mill, “overnight” matchmakers. Pretty much the majority works with each and every type of person regardless if they are matchable. Little screening, zero vetting, and no methodology. There are so many steps that go into our process and, at this stage in the game, we have to make sure each person is a good culture fit.

Oh Baby!

My business is my baby.  And it’s like my husband’s stepchild.  Being married many years now, the inevitable question always comes up in conversation – when am I having a baby?

I’m a big believer that the timing needs to be perfectly right on all fronts and that a couple needs to be totally ready. Though there is probably not ever a “right” time, I disagree that “you’re never ready.”  I think you’d better be ready before you take on that kind of responsibility and go on that journey!

My tried and true excuse has been that my business is my baby that requires endless amounts of my time… although there are no diaper changes as such, there is an infinite amount of crap to deal with constantly as a business owner and, although there are no feeding times and nursing, a heck of a lot of nurturing goes into managing my relationships with my clients, as well as managing their complex relationships that stem from their Linx introductions.

As a business owner who still probably pours too much time into work and not enough into “me” and “couple time” with my husband, I have learned to balance my life better. I make sure to get my workouts in and to keep up with friendships as best as I can.  And, luckily, I have a similarly driven husband who loves my business like his own baby, and who has his own multiple business babies.  We get each other and relate that way and revel in being the proud parents that we are.

Every so often, I get a taste of what it might be like when my husband and I cross that bridge into true parenthood.

Today, I made some time for myself, and did a walk with a friend, Jessica, who is a new mom to a beautiful little 8-week old, Stella. I carefully observed the amount of love and attention that Jess poured on the little monkey who is just the most precious bundle of love in the whole world. 

I quickly learned about “mommy code.” I took over and helped Jess out by carrying Stella and was walking with her closely draped over my shoulder swaddled in a soft fuzzy blankie when other moms walked by and simply gave the “mom nod” to me signaling “we get it” and “we’re in the same club.”

I also observed another fascinating, seemingly shocking thing. At a store, as I opened a door myself while holding Stella (not easy by the way!), an older man literally breezed through the doorway and looked at me saying “thank you.” As Cher would say in Clueless, “as if!” I was floored that this crotchety old man didn’t have the social graces to hold the door open for me, first of all, and with a baby, mind you! I asked Jessica if this was common and she said not entirely, but I’m sure I’d be blown away at the number of people who were rude and had had a lack of awareness when she was totally preggos.

At the end of the walking date, I was struck that, in dating, just as in caring for a baby, inevitably along the way you deal with a lot of hiccups/dirty diapers/vomit (such as shitty dates) that require coddling by moms/siblings/friends, but ultimate fulfillment comes from the journey of finding love and nurturing from the perfect match just as it comes from the entire experience of parenting.

Peacocking 3.0

In my quest to understand social dynamics when it comes to dating, it struck me last night at an event how some guys who might not be the hottest dudes score huge points with the ladies when they lead with confidence. It might seem obvious, but it runs deeper and I don’t think it can happen overnight. This learned behavior takes time to master and involves understanding the subtleties.  It’s not about peacocking ala “The Game” or taking a Tony Robbins crash course on a step-by-step approach to personal achievement.  Instead I think this (for both genders) can become an art of awareness, that translates over to perception and the laws of attraction. 

At this event, I couldn’t help but notice one guy was standing in the corner at a party who literally was a spitting image of the late Steve Jobs – granted, a younger Jobs from the early ’90s. Black mock turtleneck, jeans, simple eye wear, and an incredible air of confidence that drew a cluster of women around him for the majority of the night.

Although I didn’t want to stare and be obvious (and the socially awkward one in doing so), I would from time-to-time glance over. I don’t even know if he was talking, nor needed to say much. He stood there at his house party with a conviction in knowing something that perhaps few around him didn’t know. At times he had his arms crossed and looked deep in thought. Perhaps he brought a refreshing Silicon Valley-esque vibe to the very finance sort of crowd. Maybe he is in tech, I probably won’t ever know.

Who was this mystery man and what was it about him that attracted such a group of all different types? I couldn’t help but glance over at another interesting dynamic on a couch. A guy resembling Jeremy Stoppleman from Yelp sat smack in the middle of four women who circled him, similar to Mr. Pseudo-Jobs in the other corner of the room. This guy had a similar energy about him. Seemed all the girls around him did the talking and he would interject at times but didn’t need to say much to keep their attention. Did this Pseudo-Stoppleman have the answers to the mysteries of the universe and know something greater as well?

One could argue that the ratio of men to women was not favorable and thus the natural inclination was for the women either to pod around one guy and make the best of it, or pod off on their own, if they were genuinely interested in catching up with one another instead of trying to be social or “working it.” Sometimes you just don’t feel like working it. It can be exhausting. Maybe one of the secrets to attraction is first to figure out your best physical strength and asset. For the Jobs look alike, maybe after so many people for the last goodness-knows-how-many-years have commented how he looks like the guy, he finally just said to himself in the mirror one day, you know what, we’re gonna make the best of what we’ve got and work it. Embrace the fact that I look like him and use it as a point of conversation – not only as an ice breaker BUT a gateway to talk about passions and interests: technology, Silicon Valley culture, etc.