My good friend, Michelle Pender, over at Compass, who is a top real estate broker in San Francisco, sent me this email which I think is terrific- especially during the pandemic. Michelle shares….
Stress is a constant factor for many people. However, with the right tools, those who feel stressed can create a better mentality in just a few minutes. While five minutes may seem like an insignificant amount of time to reduce stress, these activities can positively impact mental health.
- Crank the tunes. Take a brain break and blast your favorite feel-good song as you walk or go for a drive.
- Go outside. A few minutes of fresh air can help clear your head and give you a new perspective.
- Try something new. Shake up your routine; this can be as simple as walking down a different street, anything to get your mind off autopilot, and be present.
- Spend money. According to Harvard professor Mike Norton, the trick is you have to spend it on someone else to get the ‘feel good’ perks. (My Favorite)
- Text a friend. Reaching out to someone and telling them how awesome they are will make you feel fabulous.
- Make plans. Having something to look forward to, like dinner with a friend, can make a person giddy. Remember, anticipation is a secret weapon of happiness.
- Help someone. A quick way to pick yourself up is to do something kind for someone else. It’s a bonus when it’s random and not expected of you.
- Do something. Whether it’s sending an email or clearing out the clutter, getting one thing off your to-do list gives you a huge mental sigh of relief.
- Say, “thank you.” A small act of gratitude goes a long way and will boost your positivity.
- Think positive thoughts. No matter how bad things may seem, always be grateful. Warm water on a cold day? Amazing! Coldwater on a sunny day? Incredible! You are fortunate when you get right down to it.
These ten quick methods can help bring positivity to a person in a relatively short time. Try one or more to recharge and lift your spirits the next time you feel overwhelmed or sad.
For anyone who is looking for a new, happy home in San Francisco, Michelle Pender is your resource! Not only is she incredibly personable and friendly but she is a Bay Area native. She knows the city beyond well and especially caters to the quaint neighborhood of Noe Valley. Her Instagram is wonderful and she does these unique videos sent to her followers on Fridays with tailored tips for first time home buyers and insider ideas about the real estate market in general. Her Instagram can be found here.
As you can imagine, the engagement ring will arguably be the biggest part of any proposal- besides her saying “YES!” To help all my favorite bachelor clients blossom into confident grooms, I’ve put together a little cheat sheet.
Finding the perfect stone, band and setting can be tricky, especially when you’ll probably end up shopping alone—WeddingWire’s 2019 Wedding Report shows that only 20% of couples pick out a ring together. So, how can you find the right ring to symbolize your forever commitment?
Diamonds really are a girl’s best friend
Although any stone can be used for an engagement ring, WeddingWire’s 2019 Wedding Report shows that 71% of engagement rings have a diamond as the main stone. According to the American Gem Society, diamonds have signified union since the 1400’s when Maximilian of Austria proposed to Mary of Burgundy.
If you’re planning a surprise engagement, purchasing the right ring size will require a little finesse. To save yourself the headache and extra expense of resizing, simply steal a ring that you’ve seen your partner wearing on a ring finger and bring that to the jeweler to measure. Remember, some settings won’t accommodate a change in band size, so do whatever you have to do to make sure you get the size right.
Most diamond rings are one of ten unique shapes. Although most women prefer the traditional round shaped diamond, others may enjoy something more unusual. According to The Knot, different shapes can represent different personalities.
For example, an emerald cut tends to be more glamorous, the asscher cut suited to a vintage lover, and the marquise more romantic.
In addition to shape, consider the size of your partner’s hand. Pear, marquis, or oval shaped diamonds tend to suit long, slender fingers, whereas round or princess shaped diamonds are better for smaller hands.
Although shape is important, the cut will impact the quality of the diamond the most. Whereas shape is about the geometry of the stone, the cut is about the angles of the facets.
The 4 C’s: A Matter of Quality
The Gemological Institute of America created the 4Cs to assess diamond quality. Those 4Cs include:
Cut describes how well a diamond’s facets interact with the light. A well cut diamond will sparkle through the top of the stone. Of all the 4Cs, cut is the most complex to analyze since it’s based on 7 factors: brightness, fire, scintillation, weight ratio, polish, symmetry, and durability. Cut is also the most important “C”; even if the remaining 3 C’s are perfect, it won’t matter if the cut isn’t right.
Clarity describes the cloudiness of the stone. Naturally occurring internal “inclusions” and external “blemishes” can lower the value of the diamond. While no diamond is perfectly pure, the closer it comes, the higher its value.
As a general rule, try to avoid stones with inclusions on the top and in the middle. These areas have the biggest effect on the way the light passes through
Color is graded based on how little of it exists. The grading system ranges from D (colorless) to Z (light yellow); white color diamonds are the most popular (and tend to carry more value) but yellow diamonds and even black diamonds have grown in popularity.
Carat describes how much a diamond weighs. Diamond price increases with carat weight, because larger diamonds are more rare and more desirable. But, two diamonds of equal carat weight can have very different values (and prices) depending on the other 4C factors.
Settings and Metal
The setting, which describes how the diamond is placed on the ring, plays a big role in the look and feel of the ring. According to WeddingWire, the setting is the most important feature for women, whereas the quality of the stone is most important to men.
Just like the shape, there are a variety of different settings:
As you can imagine, different settings offer different benefits: The Halo is ideal for those who love a bit more sparkle, the Bezel setting offers a clean and modern look, and the Prong setting can really highlight the beauty of a main stone.
When it comes to the metal for the band, gold and platinum are generally the most popular choices. Platinum is the most expensive given its purity. It’s also a great hypoallergenic choice for those with sensitive skin. Gold offers more flexibility with colors, including white, yellow, rose and even green.
Get your certificates
Before purchasing, ask to see the grading certificate from a recognized gemological lab like the American Gem Society or the Gemological Institute of America; it’s the best way to ensure that you’re getting exactly what you’re paying for. And, please, please, please insure your ring as soon as you get home!
1. How did you get into matchmaking – why do you do what you do?
2. How, and from where, do you source potential matches as “leads” and what is your subsequent vetting process? In other words, what is the “secret sauce?”
3. Are my ideal match criteria realistic and do you honestly feel that you have high quality candidates for me in your existing database or would you need to source outside the current database?
4. At what point does a “match” become “official?” May I veto potential matches or do you unilaterally make that call?
5. Tell me about a recent success story of yours and why you matched that particular couple.
You’ve poured your life into building your business. Long hours, lack of sleep, endless meetings have been your priority and, now, your time and dedication has paid off—your company is going public.
And, just like that, your social presence grows overnight. You’re inundated with speaking requests. You’re also inundated with a lot of romantic interest.
I’ve met several executives eager to re-prioritize their personal goals in the wake of an IPO. I’ve seen them struggle to find the right person—or even just a legitimate date—after coming into wealth and extra publicity. Ironically, for these clients, I’ve seen the dating space morph into a minefield of sorts.
How do you know if your next date is dating you for the right reasons?
How can you be sure that your private dating life stays private?
How will you know where to find the most eligible singles?
Just as you would hire a personal trainer to get fit or an accountant to organize your finances, I’ve been hired countless times to help extremely discerning clientele find their next partner.
To help my clients understand what they want in their next relationship and how to get it, I compare the process for finding the right partner to building a business.
- What problem are you trying to solve?
Perhaps you’re trying to remedy loneliness or are interested in building partnership. Maybe you’d like to “feel alive” with no strings attached, or you’re finally thinking it’s time to start a family. Most successful products and businesses are created to solve a specific problem—what’s yours?
Not sure where to start?
Envision your future. In five years, what kind of life do you envision? Where are you living? What are you doing? What would your mother say about you? How would your best friend describe you? Write it down.
- Set realistic expectations about the process.
What steps will you take in the short term to help meet your goals? Clients tend to be clear on their goals, but they can get a little lost on the game plan.
Some questions to ask yourself:
How much time do you plan to carve out per week to devote to your dating life?
How will you meet new people?
How will you date? Casual introductions over wine? Grand romantic gestures?
- Keep Iterating.
The qualities you look for may change during the dating process. Be open to the process and be prepared to adjust your ideas accordingly. Whereas it’s perfectly natural to have preferences (don’t we all?), you might find that your more urgent needs are satisfied by someone without the specific packaging.
Tip: Compromise on the packaging, never the standards.
- Hire your Weaknesses.
The demands of growing an empire may have distracted you from fine tuning your dating skills. Constant travel and other obligations may have limited your interactions to people in your professional network. Instead of trying to solve every problem at once, heed the words of billionaire Spanx founder Sara Blakely and “hire your weaknesses.”
Find the person you can trust; the person who has demonstrated enough experience in the realm of long-term relationships to help you make the best decision of your life. In the wake of money, media attention, and limited time, an extra pair of eyes, ears, and vetting could pay a lifetime of dividends.
With over a decades’ worth of experience serving high-profile clientele, I’m privy to the unique demands and sensitivities involved in the search for partnership. If you’re ready to hand off the reins to Silicon Valley’s leading matchmaker, get in touch.
Love and best wishes ❤️,
Dear Faithful Readers,
Yes, I am very behind the times setting up a professional account for Instagram but at long last, it’s up!
Please follow me on Instagram at ms.linxdating
If you enjoy all things related to Linx, dating, relationships, events, VIP client travel, glamour, and happenings in Silicon Valley and beyond please follow!
This year is off to a phenomenal start with so many couples in committed relationships. Today, I just received an email from my 60-something male client about his lovely Linx match and their recent engagement!
They both came out of very challenging divorces and the process shattered their respective self-confidences and frankly their hopes of ever finding love again. Yet, these two people believed in me, and this incredible process, enough to sign on and allow me to do what I do best – work my magic!
They each had a couple of introductions and then met one another pretty early in the process of our matchmaking lifecycle.
Exactly one year from their first date in Silicon Valley, they got engaged at a romantic restaurant in Europe. His email sharing the joyous news today brought tears to my eyes. THIS is exactly why I do this. I am very grateful and so humbled to get to change so many lives.
During the first stages of dating, it’s tough to know if your current date situation is worthy of a more in depth investment—with your time and your emotions. Here are 6 telltale signs that the one you’re seeing has the stuff that boyfriends are made of.
- He remembers the little things.
Men who are genuinely interested keep track of information that is specific to you—your favorite movies, foods you dislike, places you want to see. Though they may not appear actively engaged, you’d be surprised with how many details they’re absorbing.
Here’s what it looks like: He knows you get cold—even when it’s 70 degrees outside. He will make sure you know where to find a blanket or he’ll set aside his favorite sweatshirt or oversized sweater just for you.
- His values his family.
Staying connected with the parents and siblings reveals that he’s able to maintain relationships with the ones who matter most. Even if drama lingers at home, he has a way of seeing the bigger picture. A guy who prioritizes his family will be more likely to invest in a family of his own and sustain a relationship with you through for the long haul.
Here’s what it looks like: He talks about his sister’s upcoming visit…and hopes you will be available to meet her.
- He has excellent follow though.
If he says he will call, he does. He doesn’t just talk about plans; he actually makes them. If he’s serious, you won’t need to push or prod to see action; he’s happy to orchestrate gestures—big and small—to keep things interesting.
Here’s what it looks like: When my client’s date had to fly out for work travel, my client said he would pick her up when she returned. Unfortunately, the date’s plane was delayed. Despite an 11:30 p.m. arrival, he was there to drive her home.
- He puts you first.
There is nothing more telling about a man’s intentions than the way he prioritizes your needs over his. We’re not talking about a man doormat; we are talking about someone who is committed to ensuring that his date is comfortable and happy.
Here’s what it looks like: My friend felt ill at a basketball game with her date. Instead of asking her to stay till half time or getting annoyed about losing out on the great seats, he found her some Advil and quickly escorted her home. The next day he called to check on her.
- He communicates with you often.
Despite his busy schedule, he always makes time to check in. It’s not the length of the message that counts; it’s the frequency. You might get a text, a phone call, or even a social media nod. Whatever it is, you won’t be left wondering if or when you’ll hear from him.
Here’s what it looks like: After two weeks my friend’s date left for international work travel. Between the time changes and the work load, she didn’t think she would hear from him for days. She was pleasantly surprised when he bought a new sim card and called her when he checked into his hotel.
- He’s interested in growing and evolving.
He realizes that he’s a work in progress and wants to better himself. If he’s aware of his faults and interested in working them out, you’ll save yourself the un-winnable battle of trying to change someone. Openness about his desire to grow and change can be an opportunity that brings you closer together.
Here’s what it looks like: When my client first started dating in the wake of a painful divorce, he felt aloof and noncommittal. When he first met his girlfriend, he wasn’t sure how much to divulge about his past. Knowing that a lack of communication caused havoc in his first marriage, my client opted for transparency. He realized that for true intimacy to exist, he needed to experience vulnerability. His openness strengthened their bond and left both my client and his now girlfriend feeling secure about their relationship.
We’re excited to announce a new client search. Our bachelor is a masculine and self-aware Caucasian 28-year-old client standing 6’2”, with an athletic physique, short brown hair, beard, and a roguish smile. He keeps fit (and sane) with a daily morning workout at the local gym, but would much prefer to be outdoors tossing a football or exploring a new hiking trail. Usually found in a casual button-up and jeans—mostly to avoid spooking his startup clients—he still loves suiting up for a night on the town.
Our client attended Caltech and Stanford for his undergrad and graduate degrees, and served as a published researcher in solar energy before switching to patent law. Now, he specializes in crafting patent portfolios for venture-backed startups. At the intersection of cutting edge technology and complex legal strategy, he loves the challenge his career provides.
He is confident, charismatic, and highly intelligent, our client is a natural conversationalist. While he could talk on almost any subject, he is happiest discussing something that you both are excited about—and will often seek out such topics. Our client’s thoughtfulness lends him both intellectual and emotional depth, which he deftly balances with by a playful and witty sense of humor. He knows how to do his part in a great relationship and is ready to settle in with just the right partner.
His best suited match is between the ages of 23-33 years old, physically fit, of any ethnic background, with classic features, expressive eyes, and feminine. She’s a girl-next door type who’s approachable, confident, smart, and is self-aware. Think IQ meets EQ, where her emotional intelligence has been honed over the years from self work and a desire to continually learn and grow as an individual.
While she’s a driven professional, she has no problem letting the proverbial hair down and being silly at times. She welcomes adventures into her life, has a willingness to try new things, and while independent, welcomes the idea of shared activities with her dream guy.
If you or anyone you know might be a match for this dream bachelor, please email our founder, Amy, at email@example.com and tell her a little bit about yourself including recent photos (no filters, hats, sunglasses, or other people in pictures). Thank you!