On this episode of the I’m Just Being Honest Podcast, I chat with host Alexandra Ayers. With over 18 years since Linx has been established, I have gathered an abundance of data on finding an ideal mate and in this episode I share my best tips and answer the most commonly asked questions – including what men look for in a partner and being proactive to meet your ideal mate. Thank you to Alexandra Ayers for putting together this great podcast and interview. Let’s elevate dating to a whole new heightened level!
After nearly 18 years in business, we are arguably one of the most seasoned matchmakers in the industry and are regularly spoken of as the top global matchmaker worldwide. Thousands of interviews later, we can confidently say that experience matters when hiring a tier one matchmaker. We offer in-depth knowledge and expertise, as well as unparalleled reach via our network, for our clients.
When doing your due diligence researching matchmaking firms, look for a company where the primary matchmaker working on your search is an industry veteran – someone who has sat through thousands of meetings, made countless matches, and who understands human behavior… someone with strong, deeply honed intuition and pattern recognition vs. a green matchmaker who’s been in the business for only a few years!
One of the greatest appeals of Linx is that our clients will work directly with Amy Andersen, the founder and CEO, throughout the search. Clients are not “farmed off” to junior matchmakers or individuals with little or no vested interest in the well-being of the client.
Privacy and Reputation Matter
Keeping our client and prospect information private is a hallmark of the Linx philosophy and we maintain a sterling reputation in the industry, in this regard.
Trustworthiness goes hand in hand with how we conduct our work, and we adhere to the highest standards of integrity to ensure that we protect the identities of our clients and members. This means that we will not reveal any identifiable candidate information until a match is made and we certainly do not gossip about “whom” we work with around town as we live our daily lives.
Founder and CEO Amy Andersen has emerged as the “Cupid of Silicon Valley” having matched many of Silicon Valley’s high profile tech elite, Hollywood, founder & CEOs, and more. Due to the private nature of many of Linx’s high profile clients, we operate meetings in our private offices, gardens, and also offer house visits.
Linx Dating does not cater to the masses – we represent high-caliber clientele who seek our niche, highly reputable approach to matchmaking. There are numerous other services that claim to be “exclusive” and to be working with “elite clients,” but the reality is, they broadcast their services in airline magazines and do not maintain the same standard of quality as Linx.
Linx is the only upscale matchmaking firm that does not publicly advertise its services. We do not need to, as our client base has been built via nearly two decades of word-of-mouth referrals from happy clients and our extended social and professional networks.
Linx is also the only firm to cherry-pick clients whom we know we can genuinely help. We don’t work with everyone who applies and have been coined the “Stanford or Harvard University” of matchmakers. In being selective, we maintain our exclusivity and do not dilute our brand by taking on more business than we can handle.
That said, even if we feel we cannot effectively help someone after our preliminary meet-and-greet, we always provide prospects with options and never leave them rudderless.
The Network Matters
It goes without saying, in hiring a tier-one firm, that you want an incredible network of passive members and premium clients, from whom to draw in sourcing potential matches. In other words, the network is everything! Without such a serious social network and trusted connections, a matchmaker has little to go on.
To center in on a network, you want a highly developed local network. Though Linx has historically specialized in the San Francisco Bay Area / Silicon Valley and continues to do so, it has also accumulated a substantial network in Southern California. As they say with real estate, location, location, location! Linx is wedged in the heart of Silicon Valley and is here to stay! Moreover, though heavily anchored in California, Linx attracts members from all over the US and the globe including Seattle, New York, Texas, the Middle East, Europe, and Asia.
We know how important marketing is when it comes to our VIP client searches. With the right presentation, we can significantly optimize your positioning when it comes to attracting the ideal match.
We are the only global firm that specializes in leveraging our trusted brand to market select VIP searches through use of social media, our blog, and website. We are consistently applauded for our content and writing. We have a very trusted team dedicated to graphic design, wordsmithing, and photography to make our VIP client descriptions shine, such that they ultimately attract the right candidates to apply to meet the client.
We are proud to share that our method is a proven one. Time and time again, VIP searches that were listed on the Linx Dating website attracted an exact “needle in a haystack” match for our VIPs. After scrupulous vetting, we matched the client to the prospect and, well, the rest is history.
Timing and Preparation Matter
We are experts in carefully helping prospects transition to dating, often after having not dated for a significant period of time, e.g. after the loss of a loved one, separation, breakup, or divorce. We know how vital it is, before you “go on the market” again to get prepared and to go to market with success and gusto. From providing the new client with nuggets of dating wisdom, to strategic thinking around the type of match they need for a healthy and long-term thriving relationship, and countless preparation techniques (wardrobe, coaching, concierge, etc.) we have you covered!
We have trusted partnerships and deep resources when it comes to specialists in various fields. At Linx we know where our core expertise lies and are careful not to dilute our matchmaking efforts. As such, we leverage our trusted connections, as needed, to provide a full suite of offerings to clients. These include wardrobe styling, hair, make-up, photography, date coaching, fitness, nutrition, concierge services, and access to other elite matchmaking firms with whom we might collaborate on certain searches, so as to cast an even wider net.
While most traditional matchmaking firms do not seek to represent women as actual paying clients, Linx is extremely proud to do so – we represent many such educated and dynamic females who are bright, sophisticated, and possess stellar academic backgrounds.
Although we are steeped in old school traditional methodology and human intuition when it comes to matchmaking, we do not operate in the stone age.
Our team regularly utilizes proprietary data science techniques, as appropriate, to cull candidates in executive search/recruiting style “out of network” searches for VIP clients.
Healthy Clients Matter
We work with individuals who are balanced and healthy – mentally and physically – and are in the right place to get serious about finding the loves of their lives!
Our clients typically lead active lifestyles and enjoy the creature comforts with some moderation. Linx is also the only matchmaking firm that chooses not to work with smokers.
Personalization and Passion Matter
As Linx only accepts a select number of clients annually, all of whom work directly with founder/CEO Amy Andersen, our services are highly personalized, narrowly tailored to the needs of the client, and built around regular and direct access to Amy, who built the business from scratch and is deeply passionate about what she does.
We are thrilled to announce a new search for a woman residing in Los Angeles, CA. This client is open to relocation and ready for love! She is a smart, beautiful, strong, sexy, playful, and sophisticated 37-year-old woman, 5’4” with long blonde hair and soulful hazel eyes. She credits her athletic physique to an active lifestyle, including daily exercise, indoors and out. She has a jeans and t-shirt vibe by day, and a more feminine and sophisticated one by night: She prefers pants to dresses, and a natural look when it comes to makeup. Less is more. She has a smile that will light up any room, and her best friend from childhood says she loved to steal her drinks because “she always left a bit of sunshine behind in them.”
She grew up with horses, skiing/snowboarding with her family in Aspen in winters and going on their boat in the Mediterranean in summers. Morning routines are important to her; beginning on the right note allows her to feel awesome for the rest of the day. She loves hiking with her dogs, meditating, running, reading great books and playing guitar. She became certified as a yoga teacher just to deepen her own practice. She doesn’t teach professionally but will instruct her friends just for the pleasure of making them feel good. Some of her best times are spent with her dearest pals at her family’s spot in Malibu or their ranch in Ojai.
A graduate of an Ivy League school, she majored in history of art and architecture, while minoring in public and private sector organizations. She considers herself a student of life, for life, and is blessed with an insatiable curiosity. While living in New York, her womenswear design won her acclaim in top fashion magazines.
At 30, she shifted gears professionally, and pursued a new career in LA focusing on her principal passion: making the world a better place for animals. As a lifelong photographer, and a subject in numerous magazine photos herself, she knew that the quickest way to shift people’s perspectives was through that of media. She enrolled in an intensive directing program at a prominent LA film school, where she wrote, produced, and directed her first short film.
Although she is ambitious and driven in her goals, and appreciates those qualities in a partner, she believes that true happiness requires a balance, making her relationships a priority. Her perfect date would include witty banter, lots of laughter, and the full presence of both people. She melts at displays of thoughtfulness.
As a passionate animal advocate working predominantly with one of the largest non-profit organizations over the past 10 years, she’s also partnered with them in co-founding their next generation board and sits on the organization’s California state council, helping to drive legislative change.
Her favorite night is at home, a glass of wine and cooking with loved ones, hanging out by a fire with great music and the dogs. She cares about wellness, and considers herself 85% plant based. If you’re not, that’s ok. “You do you”.
This woman is genuine, loyal, caring, and emotionally intelligent and looking for someone who is evolved and has done the hard personal work of getting to know themselves, or at least has a desire to. She values family and wants to have kids in the next few years. For now, she has dogs for company. The last was a surprise. While volunteering at an elephant sanctuary in Thailand, she rescued a dog for her mom. But after a year, her mother found she couldn’t take care of it, so this client took the pooch in herself – not a surprise to anyone who knows this big-hearted woman.
Her best suited match is between the ages of 30 and 49 years old. He is tall, athletic, fit, and with a great smile. He is considerate and thoughtful about others. He recognizes that while our client is a strong woman, she prefers him to be in the driver’s seat. She always has been curious about everything in life. Therefore, it’s important for her to be with a man who appreciates her innate wonder about the world. He inspires her and even sometimes fuels creative ideas that she would not have had otherwise.
His confidence and wherewithal to be an equal partner to her, will allow her to be the best version of who she is (playful, loving, and in her feminine flow), as she respects him (since she feels heard and loved by him). He is a man who dreams big and takes action, who likes intellectual conversations, just as much as silly banter, and ultimately one who might consider himself an old-fashioned romantic at heart.
Her best suited match also lives his life with purpose and knows what is important to him in this one life. He’s passionate, playful, smart, and equally charming. Outside of his career that he feels proud of and self-made from, he’s a lover of the outdoors, nature, and keeping his body healthy and active! Traveling, reading, cooking, nurturing friendships, and a love of animals are all bonuses for our client. Most importantly, he looks forward to having a family one day and the joys associated with monogamy and child rearing.
If you or anyone you might know could qualify as a candidate to meet this extraordinary and beautiful VIP, please submit your information here. There are NO fees for qualified candidates to meet our client.
Our client is handsome and highly successful, a youthful 48-year-old clean-cut white gentleman. He lives in an idyllic, private golf course community nestled in the rolling hills and vineyards of the San Francisco Bay Area.
Born and raised in Southern California, our client remains very close to his entire family: his parents, his sister, and her two boys. He stands at a physically fit 5’7”, his dark brown hair is perfused with soft grey highlights, and he has kind green-blue eyes that sparkle when he smiles. He has a relaxed sense of style, going for what he calls a “Steve Jobs look” at work.
What he values most are family, ambition, balance, and creativity; at his core he believes that life is for living, and living means fun and passion. His disposition is kind and generous; he treats others with respect, and is the sort of man you can trust and feel safe with. His confidence never tips into arrogance, and is tempered by his easygoing personality.
A father of two, our client starts each day bright and early, making breakfast with his two adorable and inquisitive sons, aged 11 and 13. Both are straight-A students and have Dad’s passion for innovation and invention. After dropping the boys at school, he’s usually no more than a five-minute drive to his latest startup, where he can explore his passion for his next big idea.
Our client has been creating businesses since he was in his 30s; he takes great pride in the culture at each company, often working with the same great group of friends and colleagues who have accompanied him to each new startup. A leader in his field, our client is the very definition of the successful serial entrepreneur. He received his undergraduate and graduate degrees from one of the top engineering schools in the country and holds over 200 patents for his various technologies. But unlike a lot of classically trained, introverted engineers, our client has a highly developed emotional intelligence; he’s a social guy who likes being around people.
He recently celebrated another big win through his latest company’s IPO, and his new ventures continue to display his Midas touch in business. All he really needs is a partner to celebrate life’s victories with him, a woman who is emotionally supportive and loving.
At heart, our client is an active outdoorsman, one who is reinvigorated by active time in the natural world. He’s a near scratch golfer, loves winter skiing and summer hiking, and plays as hard as he works by dining and wine-tasting with a close-knit group of friends.
In a world of inconsistencies, our client is a stand-up guy, reliable and steadfast. But he’s spontaneous and creative too! This multi-talented man just designed and remodeled his entire modern-contemporary home; now he’s dreaming of relaxing evenings under the starry skies, sitting beside the fire pit and the swimming pool, with a glass of wine, and his sweetheart snuggled affectionately by his side.
One of his passions is real estate, and he is thrilled to have just closed on a stunning lot in an exclusive Lake Tahoe enclave. Here he will begin building a dream home from the ground up, and he hopes his dream woman will be by his side to help him.
After years of burning the midnight oil running his companies, our client has learned that balance is critical. Now he needs a partner to continually remind him! He has a passion for travel, having explored Tokyo, Singapore and Bali, and hopes to indulge his wanderlust with the right woman.
His ideal match is between the ages of 32 and 42, petite to slender in build, 5’0”-5’7”, with medium to long hair, a beautiful smile, inviting eyes, and feminine in appearance. Her look is sweet and kind, her style tasteful and not provocative.
His dream match is social and comfortable with others, a positive person who sees life with a glass-half-full perspective. Adventurous with a go-with-the flow attitude, she’s the kind of bubbly and carefree woman people like to be around. As his career can be demanding, she must be incredibly supportive, his greatest cheerleader.
This is a woman who responds best to a strong male that she can inspire, support, and love. She’s all about the little details, whether it’s planning a quiet night with wine and cheese by the fire when he gets home or an adults-only spontaneous get-away to Hawaii, with less than 48 hours to pack! Her mission is to make her leading man feel loved and cherished through the strength of her affection and the warmth of heart.
While she might have a career of her own, our client doesn’t require it. He’d be just as happy if his dream woman was in charge of the home and family—though she could easily have a career on the side, if she so desired. He’s also open to a woman who’s been relentless in her career, and is now ready to hang up the reins and focus on family.
Maybe she’s has been waiting to take on the CEO role of a household, and genuinely enjoys making a happy and beautiful home. She’s very good at planning everything, from the kids’ schedules to dinner parties to intimate couple’s nights, and all the little details in between. Our client and his family will be her priority.
Our client is a loving and very involved father to his boys, but he’s open to the idea of blended family with a woman who has children of her own; having more children together; or being content with their family of four.
He has tried the single life, and found it wasn’t for him. Now he’s ready to embark on a glorious monogamous relationship with someone as incredible as him.
If you or anyone you know might qualify as a candidate to meet this extraordinary VIP, please submit your information here.
There are NO fees for qualified candidates to meet our client.
My good friend, Michelle Pender, over at Compass, who is a top real estate broker in San Francisco, sent me this email which I think is terrific- especially during the pandemic. Michelle shares….
Stress is a constant factor for many people. However, with the right tools, those who feel stressed can create a better mentality in just a few minutes. While five minutes may seem like an insignificant amount of time to reduce stress, these activities can positively impact mental health.
- Crank the tunes. Take a brain break and blast your favorite feel-good song as you walk or go for a drive.
- Go outside. A few minutes of fresh air can help clear your head and give you a new perspective.
- Try something new. Shake up your routine; this can be as simple as walking down a different street, anything to get your mind off autopilot, and be present.
- Spend money. According to Harvard professor Mike Norton, the trick is you have to spend it on someone else to get the ‘feel good’ perks. (My Favorite)
- Text a friend. Reaching out to someone and telling them how awesome they are will make you feel fabulous.
- Make plans. Having something to look forward to, like dinner with a friend, can make a person giddy. Remember, anticipation is a secret weapon of happiness.
- Help someone. A quick way to pick yourself up is to do something kind for someone else. It’s a bonus when it’s random and not expected of you.
- Do something. Whether it’s sending an email or clearing out the clutter, getting one thing off your to-do list gives you a huge mental sigh of relief.
- Say, “thank you.” A small act of gratitude goes a long way and will boost your positivity.
- Think positive thoughts. No matter how bad things may seem, always be grateful. Warm water on a cold day? Amazing! Coldwater on a sunny day? Incredible! You are fortunate when you get right down to it.
These ten quick methods can help bring positivity to a person in a relatively short time. Try one or more to recharge and lift your spirits the next time you feel overwhelmed or sad.
For anyone who is looking for a new, happy home in San Francisco, Michelle Pender is your resource! Not only is she incredibly personable and friendly but she is a Bay Area native. She knows the city beyond well and especially caters to the quaint neighborhood of Noe Valley. Her Instagram is wonderful and she does these unique videos sent to her followers on Fridays with tailored tips for first time home buyers and insider ideas about the real estate market in general. Her Instagram can be found here.
As you can imagine, the engagement ring will arguably be the biggest part of any proposal- besides her saying “YES!” To help all my favorite bachelor clients blossom into confident grooms, I’ve put together a little cheat sheet.
Finding the perfect stone, band and setting can be tricky, especially when you’ll probably end up shopping alone—WeddingWire’s 2019 Wedding Report shows that only 20% of couples pick out a ring together. So, how can you find the right ring to symbolize your forever commitment?
Diamonds really are a girl’s best friend
Although any stone can be used for an engagement ring, WeddingWire’s 2019 Wedding Report shows that 71% of engagement rings have a diamond as the main stone. According to the American Gem Society, diamonds have signified union since the 1400’s when Maximilian of Austria proposed to Mary of Burgundy.
If you’re planning a surprise engagement, purchasing the right ring size will require a little finesse. To save yourself the headache and extra expense of resizing, simply steal a ring that you’ve seen your partner wearing on a ring finger and bring that to the jeweler to measure. Remember, some settings won’t accommodate a change in band size, so do whatever you have to do to make sure you get the size right.
Most diamond rings are one of ten unique shapes. Although most women prefer the traditional round shaped diamond, others may enjoy something more unusual. According to The Knot, different shapes can represent different personalities.
For example, an emerald cut tends to be more glamorous, the asscher cut suited to a vintage lover, and the marquise more romantic.
In addition to shape, consider the size of your partner’s hand. Pear, marquis, or oval shaped diamonds tend to suit long, slender fingers, whereas round or princess shaped diamonds are better for smaller hands.
Although shape is important, the cut will impact the quality of the diamond the most. Whereas shape is about the geometry of the stone, the cut is about the angles of the facets.
The 4 C’s: A Matter of Quality
The Gemological Institute of America created the 4Cs to assess diamond quality. Those 4Cs include:
Cut describes how well a diamond’s facets interact with the light. A well cut diamond will sparkle through the top of the stone. Of all the 4Cs, cut is the most complex to analyze since it’s based on 7 factors: brightness, fire, scintillation, weight ratio, polish, symmetry, and durability. Cut is also the most important “C”; even if the remaining 3 C’s are perfect, it won’t matter if the cut isn’t right.
Clarity describes the cloudiness of the stone. Naturally occurring internal “inclusions” and external “blemishes” can lower the value of the diamond. While no diamond is perfectly pure, the closer it comes, the higher its value.
As a general rule, try to avoid stones with inclusions on the top and in the middle. These areas have the biggest effect on the way the light passes through
Color is graded based on how little of it exists. The grading system ranges from D (colorless) to Z (light yellow); white color diamonds are the most popular (and tend to carry more value) but yellow diamonds and even black diamonds have grown in popularity.
Carat describes how much a diamond weighs. Diamond price increases with carat weight, because larger diamonds are more rare and more desirable. But, two diamonds of equal carat weight can have very different values (and prices) depending on the other 4C factors.
Settings and Metal
The setting, which describes how the diamond is placed on the ring, plays a big role in the look and feel of the ring. According to WeddingWire, the setting is the most important feature for women, whereas the quality of the stone is most important to men.
Just like the shape, there are a variety of different settings:
As you can imagine, different settings offer different benefits: The Halo is ideal for those who love a bit more sparkle, the Bezel setting offers a clean and modern look, and the Prong setting can really highlight the beauty of a main stone.
When it comes to the metal for the band, gold and platinum are generally the most popular choices. Platinum is the most expensive given its purity. It’s also a great hypoallergenic choice for those with sensitive skin. Gold offers more flexibility with colors, including white, yellow, rose and even green.
Get your certificates
Before purchasing, ask to see the grading certificate from a recognized gemological lab like the American Gem Society or the Gemological Institute of America; it’s the best way to ensure that you’re getting exactly what you’re paying for. And, please, please, please insure your ring as soon as you get home!
1. How did you get into matchmaking – why do you do what you do?
2. How, and from where, do you source potential matches as “leads” and what is your subsequent vetting process? In other words, what is the “secret sauce?”
3. Are my ideal match criteria realistic and do you honestly feel that you have high quality candidates for me in your existing database or would you need to source outside the current database?
4. At what point does a “match” become “official?” May I veto potential matches or do you unilaterally make that call?
5. Tell me about a recent success story of yours and why you matched that particular couple.
You’ve poured your life into building your business. Long hours, lack of sleep, endless meetings have been your priority and, now, your time and dedication has paid off—your company is going public.
And, just like that, your social presence grows overnight. You’re inundated with speaking requests. You’re also inundated with a lot of romantic interest.
I’ve met several executives eager to re-prioritize their personal goals in the wake of an IPO. I’ve seen them struggle to find the right person—or even just a legitimate date—after coming into wealth and extra publicity. Ironically, for these clients, I’ve seen the dating space morph into a minefield of sorts.
How do you know if your next date is dating you for the right reasons?
How can you be sure that your private dating life stays private?
How will you know where to find the most eligible singles?
Just as you would hire a personal trainer to get fit or an accountant to organize your finances, I’ve been hired countless times to help extremely discerning clientele find their next partner.
To help my clients understand what they want in their next relationship and how to get it, I compare the process for finding the right partner to building a business.
- What problem are you trying to solve?
Perhaps you’re trying to remedy loneliness or are interested in building partnership. Maybe you’d like to “feel alive” with no strings attached, or you’re finally thinking it’s time to start a family. Most successful products and businesses are created to solve a specific problem—what’s yours?
Not sure where to start?
Envision your future. In five years, what kind of life do you envision? Where are you living? What are you doing? What would your mother say about you? How would your best friend describe you? Write it down.
- Set realistic expectations about the process.
What steps will you take in the short term to help meet your goals? Clients tend to be clear on their goals, but they can get a little lost on the game plan.
Some questions to ask yourself:
How much time do you plan to carve out per week to devote to your dating life?
How will you meet new people?
How will you date? Casual introductions over wine? Grand romantic gestures?
- Keep Iterating.
The qualities you look for may change during the dating process. Be open to the process and be prepared to adjust your ideas accordingly. Whereas it’s perfectly natural to have preferences (don’t we all?), you might find that your more urgent needs are satisfied by someone without the specific packaging.
Tip: Compromise on the packaging, never the standards.
- Hire your Weaknesses.
The demands of growing an empire may have distracted you from fine tuning your dating skills. Constant travel and other obligations may have limited your interactions to people in your professional network. Instead of trying to solve every problem at once, heed the words of billionaire Spanx founder Sara Blakely and “hire your weaknesses.”
Find the person you can trust; the person who has demonstrated enough experience in the realm of long-term relationships to help you make the best decision of your life. In the wake of money, media attention, and limited time, an extra pair of eyes, ears, and vetting could pay a lifetime of dividends.
With over a decades’ worth of experience serving high-profile clientele, I’m privy to the unique demands and sensitivities involved in the search for partnership. If you’re ready to hand off the reins to Silicon Valley’s leading matchmaker, get in touch.
Love and best wishes ❤️,
Dear Faithful Readers,
Yes, I am very behind the times setting up a professional account for Instagram but at long last, it’s up!
Please follow me on Instagram at ms.linxdating
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