San Francisco singles

Recruiting | Successful Business Woman in Silicon Valley | Media Opp

Linx has been approached by a top German TV outlet who is looking for a successful

business woman residing in Silicon Valley who would be interested in being interviewed

for a feature segment on Silicon Valley. The production crew will be visiting Silicon Valley

in early April. If you are someone who would be interested in this opportunity to chat about

being an enterprising woman in Silicon Valley and are not camera shy, please email me ASAP

amy@linxdating.com and I will put you in touch with the head of production. Please note that

you or anyone you know does NOT need to be single. You just need to be living in Silicon Valley,

run a successful business, and be up for this fun opportunity.

Advice for Men & Women this Valentine’s

RedRoseWith Valentine’s on Saturday and pressure surrounding this “Hallmark holiday” remember to be good to yourself. My advice for you to alleviate feeling blue if you don’t have that someone special is to find time to relax and pamper yourself a bit. Why worry and fuss over not having someone perfect when you can step back from it all and focus on being good to yourself?!

For the ladies, if you have the time and extra resources, go book a massage, facial, pedicure, or get your hair cut or colored. Uplift your spirits by stopping in Sephora to get your make-up done for free and splurge on a few sparkly lip glosses and luxe lotion. Meet a friend afterwards and share a great bottle of wine and dinner together or go people watch at a trendy bar while donning your best heels and handbag. You’ll feel good about yourself, get out of the house, and not find yourself trolling your online dating sites or swiping through the vast array of dating apps.

For the guys, focus on something you really enjoy and maybe don’t get to do that often. This could mean playing a round of golf, calling up a buddy and grabbing beers while indulging in some sports, running, or getting a massage as well- hell maybe a spa pedicure too!

Valentine’s doesn’t have to mean a day for just two people to embrace one another and say “I Love You.” It can mean loving yourself and remembering that with all of the craziness life throws us, at the end of the day, you need to love yourself first. So hit sleep on your computer, call a friend, makes plans, or book those reservations for some “you” time. Oh and don’t forget that loving yourself this Valentine’s can certainly mean seeing the much anticipated Fifty Shades of Grey… 😉 Uh oh!

XOXO,

Silicon Valley’s Cupid

Are You Choosing to be Thankful?

By: Linx staff member, Michael Norman Quiz-Thanksgiving-Style-Header1

With the holidays just around the corner, this can be a great time to meet someone new, but it can also be an incredibly lonely time for those of us who aren’t surrounded by close friends and family.  As an unattached only child whose parents don’t live nearby, I was acutely aware of this kind of isolation just a few Christmases ago; I had very recently had a rather nasty surgery and both of my parents were sick, so it wasn’t wise for us to spend the holiday together.  I don’t think I’ve ever actually had a boyfriend of significant other during the holiday season, so that part I could handle – but being away from my parents was tough.

I thought I was going to spend the day alone (almost literally) licking my wounds and feeling sorry for myself until a good friend invited me to join her, her roommate, and one of her co-workers for an impromptu Christmas dinner.  While it certainly wasn’t the same as spending the day with my parents (which I’ve done three dozen times or so) it definitely proved to be one of the most memorable holiday dinners of my life.  (When an investment banking lesbian, a three-hundred-pound gay man on painkillers, a newly out gay lawyer who secretly wants to be a caterer, and a straight black project manager who was a collegiate swimmer consume 7 bottles of wine in 6 hours while talking about their families and their sex lives, it’s bound to be memorable.)  I learned a lot of things I never expected to learn that evening, and one of the most important is that being alone is often a choice.  Just because I wasn’t able to follow a family tradition, I assumed I had to spend a holiday alone.  I wasn’t allowing myself to consider other options, to embrace other types of family, to invest in other types of relationships, or even to invest in myself.

This year I expect to spend the holiday with my parents – just as I’ve done for years – but should that plan be somehow interrupted, I know that I’ll consider alternatives.  And I would enjoy those alternatives.  So even if you’re separated from your family – whether by distance or something harder to overcome – or if you’re new to your current hometown and don’t have an established social network, there’s no reason to spend the holidays alone.  In fact, if you take the initiative to invite new people into your world on a day when they would otherwise feel alone and possibly dejected, you might be incredibly surprised by the warmth and intensity of the connection that could result.

Here are some ideas for getting through the holiday season in good cheer, and maybe even building some relationships (romantic or otherwise) along the way.animated-thanksgiving-desktop-backgrounds-wide-photos-hd-wallpapers-free-thanksgiving-desktop-wallpapers-backgrounds

Host a “Misfit” Thanksgiving…

If you don’t already have plans for the holiday, ask around in your circle of friends or even post to Facebook; you’ll probably find that you’re not alone.  If you’re not a great cook, you have plenty of options that could still make you a great host or hostess.  Plenty of restaurants and grocers (like Draeger’s and Whole Foods) offer complete or a la carte solutions for Thanksgiving dinner.  You may find that one or more of your guests is a great home chef, so give them the opportunity to bring dishes (or just encourage them to bring wine or desserts) and fill your home with new friends and holiday cheer.  Speaking from personal experience, this can be a truly wonderful way to spend a holiday, and can be much more intimate and fulfilling than you might expect.

Take Yourself Out to Dinner…

If spending the day alone is inevitable, and you know you know that staying inside all day isn’t good for you, make a reservation for yourself at one of the many, many SF restaurants that will be serving dinner this Thanksgiving.  Some of the restaurants promising to give you reasons to be thankful this year include Michael Mina, Epic Roasthouse, Campton Place, and One Market, so odds are that you’ll be experiencing plain pilgrim fare taken to an entirely new level.  You might also want to stop into a great bar or lounge for an after dinner drink and some great conversation; you won’t be the only person spending the day without family, and you definitely won’t be the only person open to connecting with someone new.

Lend a Helping Hand…

For some people, volunteering on Thanksgiving is a tradition unto itself, and the Bay area is full of opportunities for helping out.  At Linx, we always think that volunteering is a great way to meet someone (who doesn’t like dating a man or woman with a heart of gold?) and the single person you’d meet volunteering on Thanksgiving will be just as impressed with you as you are with her or him.  Even if scoring a date isn’t the first thing on your mind that day, it’s not a bad consolation prize for being a good citizen. 😉  Good sources for finding volunteer opportunities include Glide Memorial, Hands On Bay Area, and Little Brothers.  You could also contact your local church or food bank or even a retirement center for more ideas; lots of people would love company this holiday season, and not all of them have the option of leaving their homes.People-volunteering-at-so-012

Relax and Reflect…

There’s nothing wrong with just taking the day to yourself and doing nothing at all.  You don’t have to leave the house.  You don’t have to eat turkey.  You certainly don’t have to eat pumpkin pie.  You could stay in, do laundry, sort piles of receipts, and downshift from everything going on in your life.  You could take the day to really think about your life, and examine all of the reasons you have to be thankful.  It would be very easy to focus on being alone, and to fixate on what you consider the missing pieces in your life, but it’s so much more valuable to take an inventory of what’s right in your world.  Most of us are drawn to positive, optimistic people, and the best way to be positive is to really be aware of the gifts in your life; you probably have many.  And you probably know what most of them are.  Don’t be afraid to make a list, and check it twice.  Christmas, after all, is just around the corner. 😉

Great Cause | Heart of the Silicon Valley Event | October 5th!

Fall is a great time to attend some festive charitable events. I’d like to make you aware of a charity event, Heart of Silicon Valley, on October 5th at beautiful private Portola Valley estate. There will be a few hundred guests from the Peninsula and San Francisco supporting this great cause. Heart of Silicon Valley was created in 2002 as a response to the desire to contribute to our community in a rich and personal way. HOSV raises funds for charitable organizations by bringing people together through concerts at homes around the Peninsula. Each concert raises money for a different charitable organization.

Heart of Silicon Valley has raised more than $2,000,000 to date for local charities and has engaged hundreds of people in support of these organizations. Heart of Silicon Valley provides a means for professionals, philanthropists, musicians, and businesses to work together to give back to our community in a unique and meaningful way.

Besides giving back, this is a great way to meet and mingle with a very friendly crowd of men and women from around the Bay Area. You never know who you might meet and run elbows with.

Tickets are available on http://www.hosv.org or on ticketweb

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Linx graces The Times of London Newspaper & Magazine

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Putting the CON in Confidence… Part III

March_4_10_Couple_LaughsIt’s great to have a toolkit for getting through a first date with a veneer of healthy self-esteem, but what happens after that? If you’re lucky, a first date leads to a second. And a second leads to a third. But if you aren’t feeling good about yourself, you probably won’t make it very far beyond a couple of dates. That’s fine if you never really had an initial spark, or it’s becoming clear that that two of you are very different people who might not easily connect, but it’s not so fine if the fire fizzles simply because you’re too trapped in your own head to focus on the person right in front of you.

In order to capitalize on early chemistry and attraction, it’s important that you a) actually believe that you deserve to be dating this particular person, and b) let your date see and appreciate that. Try to remember that in order for any healthy relationship to survive, both parties have to be invested, and both of you actually have to think that it’s a good idea. So let’s assume you really did feel sparks, and that the early interest in mutual… if you aren’t the world’s most confident person, what can you do to bolster your ego just a little bit? After all, there has to be more to successful dating than just asking a waiter for suggestions and walking a woman to her car, right?

Here are a few ways you can develop some dating confidence. And if you don’t think you need additional confidence when it comes to dating, try to keep in mind that having added confidence can be useful in almost every aspect of our lives.


Make a list, and check it twice…

I recently spoke with a client who was nervous about an upcoming first date. She was concerned that her date might not like her for a dozen different reasons, and had already started rationalizing a case for rejection from a man she hadn’t even met. While it’s healthy to be prepared for any possible outcome, she was really only focused on one. If you find yourself doing this – particularly when it comes to anticipating rejection, you need to slow down, and make a list of all of your positive qualities and attributes. Yes, all of them. Go ahead and start now; it might take awhile. Be as detailed as possible. Oh, you like your earlobes and pinky toes? Turns out you’re one of those rare people who never has morning breath? You rarely move while sleeping? You can make a gourmet meal out of almost anything? You’re incredibly good at your job, and your patients/clients/colleagues love you? You never forget a birthday? You actually have the time and desire to invest in a relationship? Your most recent ex said that you had “incredibly good hands”?

Take some time to really study this list. These are all of the things about you that are great. These are all of the reasons someone should want to date you. These are all of the reasons that would make someone LUCKY to be your significant other. Some of it, of course, is going to seem very silly. But the rest of this should feel very true and very real. Don’t focus on the possible perceived negatives. Don’t highlight your weaknesses; showcase your strengths. You may still not end up on a second date, but it will be because your date doesn’t appreciate your positive qualities, which is his or her loss. If you go into an evening expecting that your date is going to reject you based on your own insecurities, you’re creating a situation in which one of the worst possible outcomes simply lives up to your expectations. No one wants to experience that.

Dress the part…

I’m sure you’re getting tired of hearing that you need to dress up for a date, but I really can’t stress this enough. What you wear and how you present yourself really does matter. After all, you wouldn’t wear a bathrobe to a job interview, and yet you’re probably not hoping that you and your next job are going to have a relationship that involves the phrase “’til death do us part.” We get confidence from our clothing choices; color tends to make us feel more youthful and alive, flattering cuts make us feel better about our bodies, and high quality garments are often an indicator that we see value in investing in ourselves.

You want to signal that you believe yourself to be desirable, attractive, and worthy of investment. And you want your date to agree. When you really dress for a date, you’re telling the man or woman across the table that he or she matters, that you respect their time and value their attention, and that you value yourself. Highly. If you’ve ever had the experience of overdressing on a day that you feel awful in the hope that you’ll get some sort of compliment, you already understand the role that attire can play in dictating your mood. Putting some effort into your wardrobe pays dividends at all times. It also gives you practice being comfortable attracting attention and accepting compliments. If you have one of “those jobs” where you’ll actually be frowned upon for wearing anything more than a t-shirt and jeans, start making an effort on just one day of every weekend. Your friends will tell you that you look great, and you’ll start to feel even better.

Talk to Strangers…

One of the hardest things about building dating confidence can be overcoming stranger anxiety… you know, the stuff that sets in when we’re about 18 months old, and (for most of us) never really goes away? There is a lot of inherent risk in approaching someone you don’t know, and we spend the first part of our lives being told to never do it. As we age, involvements with strangers tend to be managed through classroom, professional, or social environments where an instructor/boss/friend provides a framework and context for initial interactions. Relationships of all forms tend to blossom from these meetings, but early expectations (and hopes) are typically low. This, of course, doesn’t provide much of a foundation for creating a relationship with someone you meet online or through Linx; we might say that the two of you should meet each other, but it’s still up to you to do the heavy lifting.

There is a way to get better at managing stranger anxiety, and that’s to actually approach strangers. Yes, do exactly what your parents told you to never do. Your goal should only be to have small, simple interactions… asking for the time, making chitchat while waiting in a grocery store line, etc. Do this initially with people you simply don’t find attractive. Start with people of the same sex, or with men and women who are significantly older or younger. Once you get comfortable striking up conversations with strangers you don’t find attractive, then start doing it with people you DO find attractive, but who aren’t available. In other words, look for wedding rings. This allows you to get over the anxiety of approaching someone you find desirable while keeping the stakes very low. And finally, when that becomes easy, you can start talking to strangers who appear to be attractive AND available. It will give you the confidence you need to approach people when dating in the wild. It will also provide a nice boast to your self-esteem when you meet someone exceptional through Linx.

Find a Coach…

Increasingly, people are more and more willing to turn to coaches to help them gain or develop missing and weak skills; we do it with fitness and nutrition, with sports, with job interviews, with grad school applications, and even with childbirth. So it shouldn’t seem odd to think that when it comes to dating and confidence, it might be a good idea to have a coach. Much like you might with a gym routine, see if one of your close friends can help you develop some skills and confidence. Give each other positive feedback, encourage more outgoing behavior, and remind each other of your positive qualities. Sharing your goals with other people in your life is usually a great first step to making them happen.

If you’re doing this on your own, consider using a book like Ten Days to Self-Esteem by David Burns. The noted Stanford psychiatrist walks you through several steps that help in gaining confidence, improving your sense of self-worth, and developing a positive outlook. The skills are applied broadly, but can definitely have romantic benefits. If your goal is really to just focus on skills that are dating specific, however, and to do so in person, you may want to consider working with Linx. We provide private, customized coaching sessions for clients on a regular basis, and would be happy to work with you in whatever way you might need.

Regardless of how you choose to do it, your entire life can benefit when you decide to work on your confidence and self-esteem. Even if you think you’re “doing fine” on issues of self worth, there isn’t much of a downside to developing more confidence, and learning that it’s ok to feel truly good about yourself. We all have things about our bodies, our lives, and our personalities that we’d probably like to change, but we want the people in our lives to accept us for the qualities and attributes that won’t. You can’t have what you don’t ask for, and you’ll never convincingly ask for a great relationship if it’s not something you believe you deserve. So learn to like yourself just as you are; learning to appreciate all that you have to offer is a key first step in finding a relationship that is real, deep, and everlasting.

America wants to hear from you!

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I wanted to get a post up as soon as possible to announce some creative media projects we are currently working on both domestically and internationally right now.

These are all high-end TV related projects and documentaries about the Silicon Valley ecosystem and what makes this a mecca for some of the sharpest minds in the world, a breeding ground for multi-billion dollar ideas, and a hot spot for dating!

I am looking for a handful of professional men and women who are somehow involved with Linx (i.e., a client, a prospect, attends Link & Drink events, general fan, etc). and who would be willing to share their story about navigating the dating scene in the Silicon Valley and beyond. Your input would be extremely valuable and help make a very compelling story.

One of these is a local story on how toxic and unhealthy loneliness can be, the other is a national story (extremely high-end) on the SV ecosystem, and the other is an international news piece on the valley and the movers/shakers that make up this vibrant community.

For entrepreneurs, business owners, etc this could be incredible exposure for you on a professional level! On a personal level, you never know “who” will watch and email us at Linx wanting to meet YOU! Everyone has something to share on some level. In fact, pretty much everyone I have ever sat down with has joked “Amy I could write a book at this point about dating!” So please don’t be shy, email me to inquire more…

Please send me an email to: amy@linxdating.com

Thank you Linx readers! XO

Dinner with E. Jean Carroll

photo 1 copyTonight I had the honor of meeting E. Jean Carroll over a lovely meal in Palo Alto. Every woman knows E. Jean from her long-standing dating and relationship column in ELLE Magazine, “Ask E. Jean.” E. Jean is not only incredibly witty, approachable, brilliant, fun, but tremendously talented and so so sweet! She truly is one impressive and COOL woman- and I don’t say that lightly or about a lot of people in general.

E. Jean and her business partner, Kenneth, run Tawkify– which is offline matchmaking and “a personal concierge to your dating life.” As matchmakers, we were laughing and commiserating with one another about running high-end matchmaking services….relating, agreeing, smiling, nodding, and at the end hugging goodbye.

What a joy it was and I hope we can all sync up again in the near future! photo 2

Post thoughts Link & Drink

We’re still sort of recovering from our very successful Link & Drink on the 17th. We had more than 400 guests and the event, and people seemed to linger for hours, making new personal and professional connections right and left! I’ll admit that in comparison to past Link & Drinks that there were a LOT of women present, but we worked so very hard to keep the numbers balanced and expressed time and time again that this was not a singles event; it was about professional networking. That said, a few guests (all women) probably did not read the marketing messages about Drinks on the Linx, and still expected a singles event. A couple of these ladies even chastised me for the gender imbalance in front of other guests, which made an otherwise great night somewhat uncomfortable for me. I recommend that anyone with that attitude or bitterness not attend future Linx events; they make it hard for me to want to host any events at all in the future, and take the fun out of it for everyone.

That said, Coupa Cafe did a wonderful job helping execute such a phenomenally run mixer, and the venue was absolutely gorgeous. You know we’re not in the habit of objectifying men around here, but so many of the guys (of all ages) were handsome, successful, and charming. And the women were absolutely beautiful! It’s no surprise at all that we’ve already heard from plenty of guests who made great connections, and some of them have even been on fantastic dates! Furthermore, we’ve heard from quite a few of you who have preliminary job interviews lined up which is exciting to hear.

What friends of Link & Drink are saying about our mixer….

“I had such a fantastic time at “Link & Drink,” Linx’s Dating networking event at Stanford’s Golf Course. Amy Andersen, Linx’s founder, chose a wonderful venue and invited really interesting and fun guests to participate in one of the best match-making events that I have been. I truly enjoyed speaking with guests with a great variety of backgrounds, and felt at ease mingling with them. All different ages were represented and at some point I forgot that I was indeed in a match making event… it simply felt like a great cocktail party!”
– female 38 years old in security software

“Hi Amy, it was good to see you again & also truly enjoy a good mixer. Thank you for inviting, it got me out & dressed up 🙂 “– female 33 years old in tech

“Amy, your events never cease to amaze me. This is my third Link & Drink and I always have a good time. I met a handful of contacts who are great business connections and ended up bumping into an old colleague as well which was fun to see him after all these years. Thank you again.” – female 35 in finance

“Thank you for a gorgeous venue at the golf course. I’ve never been there and appreciate you always finding ‘hidden gems’ to host your parties at. I found the people friendly and the evening very valuable as I am currently searching for a new job. I exchanged biz cards with some good contacts and one has already netted in an in-person interview…so thank you!”– female 41 in marketing

“Amy….Just wanted to take a moment and drop you a quick note to commend you on such a phenomenal event last night. Being my first Linx event, I was quite impressed and completely immersed myself in the energetic experience. I really enjoyed connecting with the other guests on both a professional and personal level. To say that I had great time would be a severe understatement. Although we only chatted briefly at the end of the evening, it was a pleasure meeting you. I hope to stay in touch and connect with you in the near future. Thanks for making Drinks on the Linx so worthwhile.” male early 30’s, executive in technology

“Amy, I just wanted to thank and express my appreciation for an event which was well worth the money and time.”– male 40’s in tech

“Amy, thank you for the party , it was awesome I met two nice ladies and maybe something will come out of that ! The ratio was by far slighted for the men OMG !!!! It is usually not that way so I thank you. Usually it is other way around so that was great . It just goes to show you so many people Are seeking love and companionship and cannot find it !!!” – male 60 years old in commercial real estate

“What a nice event last night Amy, thanks! A lot of attractive women there, I talked to a couple but I’m pretty shy in that kind of environment – I didn’t know anyone else there. Next time, I’m definitely going to find another guy to go with, great opportunity to meet. Thanks again for a great event.” – male early 50’s attorney

Summer’s Newest Linx VIP!

Our boyishly handsome Caucasian bachelor is a very successful, active, and intelligent man in his early 50s whose easy charm and laid-back demeanor offer a counterpoint to his professional role as a partner in a prominent local law firm where he focuses on high-profile, high-stakes litigation. At 6’0″ tall with short salt-and-pepper hair, warm brown eyes, and an easy smile, this thoughtful man possesses all of the quiet strength and chivalric charm that you’d hope to find in someone with his deep Southern roots.
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Away from the office and the courtroom, you can often find him with a camera in hand as he travels around the country, and beyond. He loves to travel, and makes a point to do it regularly, often making the most of his weekends by visiting Carmel, Tahoe, Napa, Santa Barbara, Sonoma, and plenty of other quaint and cozy spots that allow him to hike and bike through beautiful scenery, and then spend the evening at a great restaurant or resort. He’s worked very hard to get to this point in his life, and being able to share it with the right woman would feel like a much-deserved reward.

At home, he likes to cook and loves to entertain. He’s definitely a dog guy (he has two at home) and enjoys summer trips and holiday visits with his college-aged son. With the right woman he’s open to the possibility of more children (and would, of course, welcome any kids who are already part of her life) but would also be very excited by a future just for two that centered entirely around grown-up fun!

Are you a match?

Our bachelor would like to meet an athletic and beautiful Caucasian woman between the ages of 35 and 48 who is on the taller side (5’4”+) with medium to long hair (of any color) who has a satisfying career and a well established life, but is still interested in building a fantastic future with the right man. He responds best to warmth, sensuality, femininity, intelligence, stability, and enthusiasm. A sense of adventure, an active mind, and a desire for fun are absolutely necessary for connecting with this gentleman. (You must be willing to work up a sweat during the day, climbing hills or biking through Napa, but then still have the energy and grace to sit down to a great conversation and a white tablecloth meal that night.) Kids and pets of your own are certainly welcome, and you also need to be willing to enthusiastically embrace his. An appreciation for wit, sarcasm, and old movies would be a definite bonus.

Please contact Amy directly at amy@linxdating if you’re interested in meeting this exceptional gentleman. We will be screening candidates privately on his behalf at a five-star hotel on August 20th and 21st. There are absolutely no fees for this opportunity, so contact Amy today to see if you qualify.