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5 Easy Ways to Get Him to Approach You…and Ask You Out

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If you’re not getting approached, you might wonder, ‘What are these men looking for?’ or ‘What is wrong with me?’ To answer the question, it’s important to note the difference between desirability and approachability. We all have traits that make us desirable, but unless we look available and willing to engage in conversation, our best qualities will stay a secret. In other words, YOU are not the problem, but there might be something wrong with the SIGNALS you send.

When it comes to approaching an interesting stranger, men and women are quite similar. We all have egos to protect. To make sure they don’t end up embarrassed or rejected, men look for any clue that reason to initiate conversation. If you want him to make the first move, try these five tips.

  1. Choose your group wisely.

Women tend to go out in packs, adding extra pressure on someone deciding when and how to approach. When he knows he will not only have to impress you, but also your friends, you’re making it easier for him to bow out.

Men are also sensitive to other males. It doesn’t matter whether he’s your brother or gay best friend. He’s not paying attention to the context, just the chromosomes.

Pro Tip: If the group is large, stand to the side so you can be approached without forcing him to engage the group. If you’re not interested, you can easily segue back into the group setting.

 

  1. Cultivate an inviting vibe.

Your facial expression and body language matter. Smile at him and the people around you to put out the ‘I’m friendly and won’t be standoff-ish’ vibe. To escalate the moment, catch his gaze for sustained eye contact. All nonverbal communication has meaning, so consider what your posture and demeanor are saying.

Pro Tip: Always scan your surroundings to see if someone is trying to communicate with you via nonverbal cues. If you’re fixated on the conversation, you’ll miss opportunities to reciprocate interest.

 

  1. Give him something to say.

For men, the hardest part of the approach is knowing what to say. You can grease the wheels by inadvertently supplying the topic via clothing or behavior. You might wear a sports jersey to give him an invitation to talk about the team or the upcoming game. Or, you could peruse the menu at length to give him an invitation to talk about what he ordered.

Pro Tips: Bring a prop. If you’re at the coffee shop, leave the book you’re reading on the table. It will give him the perfect springboard into conversation.

You might also consider wearing an unusual pendant when you’re out and about. The pendant doesn’t need to be expensive, but it needs to stand out to be a great ice breaker. As you’re sitting in the café, run your fingers along the chain while “reading” your book and glance up, locking gaze with an attractive male. You’re signaling interest without saying a word and inviting him to talk to you.

A pendant with a great story will help you gain even more traction. Maybe it’s an unusual crystal you had cast in silver from a hike you took in the Dolomites or a coin from your great grandmother. Sharing an interesting story about yourself is a great way to keep his attention and reveal your sense of adventure. And who doesn’t love being entertained by an interesting, worldly woman?

 

  1. Remember: Location, Location, Location.

Proximity is one of the biggest factors when it comes to the approach. If you’re moving around, you’ll be a lot harder to catch. Try to stay in the same place to give him an opportunity to make a move.

Pro Tip: Settle in a place that is central to the room. If you are in a corner, not only are you harder to access, but you’ve raised the stakes by making it harder for him (and you) to move along if there’s no conversation.

 

  1. Give him a reason to contact you.

Getting him to approach you is only the first step. You can escalate the conversation by bringing up topics that segue into plans. Upcoming events make for perfect conversation, even if you don’t end up attending the event together. In the conversation, you might ask about an extra ticket, but days later you might find yourselves circling back to talk about how the event was.

Pro Tip: Have personal calling cards with you at all times. Whereas business cards reveal too much personal information (like your last name) and tend to set the stage for business, a personal calling card is a smart dating tool that gives him all the information he needs to get in touch. Think first name, personal email, and mobile. Simple, classic, and elegant is best.

Ultimately, all of your actions should be inviting and reassuring to help your partner escalate the interaction into a more romantic situation. Smiling and encouraging the conversation to flow will make you more attractive to interested strangers.

 

 

Brainy and Athletic Beauty Seeks Adventurous Partner

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Our 34-year old Caucasian bachelorette is a warm, outgoing, athletic and animal loving female.  She exudes feminine energy and joie de vivre!  She is 5’7” with long, tousled dark-blonde locks, beautiful eyes and a beaming white smile.  Although, she lives in Incline Village on the North Shore of Lake Tahoe she loves the Bay Area, spends a good bit of time here, and would relocate for love in a heartbeat!

She is from a small town in Georgia, but has traveled extensively.  Although she is worldly, she is also very down-to-earth, laid back and friendly.  She is very adventurous and is always up to try new things!  She has sailed around the Caribbean, completed multiple equestrian safaris around the world and has heli-boarded in Alaska. She is an intellectual idealist who loves to engage in discussions and healthy debates ranging from current events to literature.

Her best suited match is 27 to 49 years old, adventurous, successful, and an athletic guy who is 5’7” + and of any ethnic heritage. He works hard, fears boredom, owns a well loved passport, and has been waiting to find a partner to traverse through the jungles of life together. He lives for the great outdoors, sports of all kinds (winter and summer athletics), and can also appreciate what it means to chill out at home cooking, drinking wine, and laughing with his match.

If you or anyone you know might make a great match for this athletic beauty, please email Amy at: amy@linxdating.com

5 New Approaches to Dating for the New Year

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Although it may feel like you were the only person this holiday season without a significant other to curl up with next to the fire and kiss at midnight on New Year’s Eve, you are in good company. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that over 50% (124 million) of Americans 16 years and older are single. The dating pool is overwhelmingly large, but many widely used dating techniques may need to be left in 2015 so everyone can find the love they want and deserve in 2016. As you reflect on the past year and set goals for the next, consider the 5 dating approaches below:

Set Clear Personal Goals
At the beginning of each year, most people come up with vague resolutions like “get fit, “eat healthier” and “drink less” that are impossible to track and are quickly forgotten. To attract your ideal mate in the new year, set clear goals that will enable you to become the best version of yourself and meet more people who enjoy activities you love. Examples include “go for a hike/yoga class/run/bike ride/volunteering activity/fill-in-the-blank twice a week,” “finish my passion project by the end of June,” “cook at least 3 healthy meals per week” and “have no more than 3 alcoholic drinks a week.”

Put Your Ideal Match on Paper
You have probably envisioned your ideal partner, but have you ever written down the physical, personality and lifestyle traits you value most? Jot down your non-negotiables and areas where you are more flexible. Examine your past relationships, and rank the traits you have appreciated most in the past and those you want to find in the future. Be clear on your goals and also open to meeting someone who doesn’t check every box. So many people who are hellbent on finding their soulmate and won’t settle for anything less end up alone, so don’t dismiss Mr. or Mrs. Almost Right before giving them a fair chance.

Leave Your Ex in the Past
Perhaps you are hung up on an past relationship or are currently dating someone you know is not right for you. You know you don’t want to be with that person, so stop letting their space on your back burner mess with your chances of heating something up on your front burner. Many people keep past relationships in the present as an emotional crutch, but it’s important to let go of emotional baggage before you can start fresh with someone new. To get closure on a past relationship, consider writing him or her a letter or an email explaining that you need to let go of them and wish them the best in the future.

Delete Your Dating Apps
Put down your phone! Make eye contact with and smile at people you encounter each day. Remember the “come hither” look you used to give or receive to a sexy stranger in a bar before everyone’s eyes were glued to their phone screens? Those sexy strangers, all 124 million of them, are still out there, but you can’t meet them when you’re busy scrolling through an endless stream of profiles in an endless number of dating sites. Active Tinder users spend over 6 hours a day using the app. Take that 6 hours back, notice people around you, smile, and say hello. Who knows, you may actually meet your someone special in real life!

Ask For Setups
I really admire people who ask for setups, and I am surprised more people don’t do it. Much like the professional world, where over 80% of people get jobs through people they know, using your network to find your next date is key. People who ask for setups frequently go on incredible dates with high-quality, respectful men and women. Share your ideal match with friends and family so they can let you know if and when they meet a man or woman who checks your boxes. Ask your single friends what they’re looking for as well so you can return the favor!

Best wishes for romance, love and laughter in 2016!