romance

2 Chainz and Wale Meet the ‘Cupid of Silicon Valley’ aka ‘Shorty’ ;-)

My 2 Chainz Most Expensivest episode is finally here! 2 Chainz has his own thoughts about the service, aiming a suggestion at the viewers who might be on the lookout:

“If you ugly and got low self esteem, you better get you some money. There ain’t no ugly billionaires. Billionaires is cute […] Get yourself some money and for the low price of half a million dollars, you too can buy yourself a wife.”    

Love how Chainz called me ‘Shorty’- I think my business card needs a new title! And yes Wale, I think there needs to be an HBO special about this too!

 

He wants to try polyamory. What do I do now? 5 Questions to ask yourself before proceeding

 

iStock-859766444 copy.jpgThe popularity of non-monogamy—the practice of engaging in many intimate relationships—is on the rise, but is it the right path for your relationship? If you’ve found yourself in this situation, the most important piece of the puzzle is getting clear about what you want.

 

It’s important to understand what a polyamorous relationship entails. Firstly, it is a relationship built on consent. So, if you or your partner engages in another relationship without the consent of the primary partner, that’s not polyamory, that’s cheating. Also, polyamory is not exclusively about having multiple partners – if that were the case, you’d be describing an open relationship.

 

Sound a little complicated? Well, I’d agree with you. I’ve seen the invitation for multiple partners complicate functional relationships for years. To be fair, the relationships were on shaky ground before the discussion of additional partners was on the table, but each time the conversation about additional partners came up, someone was left feeling disappointed.

 

I believe the best decisions come from a place of honesty. Before you decide if polyamory is for you, consider the following:

 

  1. What led you to this decision?

If your partner surprised you with the proposition, it’s already looking like an unnatural evolution of your relationship. However, if you did some deep soul searching and believe that multiple partners will help you become the best version of yourself, I think you should listen to that voice.

 

  1. Are you doing this to please someone?

Compromising your picture of the relationship to paint someone else’s will only backfire. Instead of ensuring closeness, you’re building a strong case for resentment and contempt. In addition, it is common for jealously to flood the brain.

 

Ask yourself: Will my partner’s feelings towards me change based on my response?

 

  1. Are you doing this to fix something “broken”?

Compromising your needs in an attempt to “get the relationship back on track” or “try a new experience together” are just falsehoods to help us cope with the knowledge that the relationship is flawed on a fundamental level.

 

Ask yourself: How, specifically, will my partner’s new relationship with someone else strengthen our relationship?

 

  1. Are you able to speak openly about jealousy, sexual health, and feeling insecure?

Are your lines of communication open enough to discuss some of the harsher realities of polyamory? Some common drawbacks include feeling jealous, insecure, and secondary. Will you be able to talk about the physical implications of more than one sexual partner? Are you able to talk about feelings of insecurity at the risk of sounding needy? If any of this gives you pause, consider how much stress the polyamorous relationship could put on the level of communication with your partner.

 

  1. Are you able to set boundaries? Are you prepared to leave if they are crossed?

This point echoes the sentiment above; are you able to communicate openly about your needs in the relationship? If you are entertaining a polyamorous relationship, are there certain people off limits to your partner? If you are not able to voice these concerns for fear of upsetting your partner, you will sabotage your emotional well being.

 

Does He Think You’re the One? 7 Signs that Point to Yes

iStock-496093150 copy.jpg

You meet and there’s chemistry. Real chemistry. You are starting to fall hard, but ghosts from relationships—and flings—of the past prompt you to ask: “Is this serious infatuation or could this be real?”

 

Instead of spending energy trying to figure out what he means, look for behaviors that reveal investment. If these signs apply to your current relationship, chances are he thinks you’re the one or, at the very least, a serious contender.

 

  1. He wants everyone to meet you.

He’s excited to incorporate you into his world, and that starts with meeting the main characters. You are meeting friends, family, coworkers and anyone else who knows your partner well. You’ll notice that many of them have been looking forward to meeting you. If he’s aiming to build a life together, he wants start building memories with the people who matter most. He feels proud to stand next to you and he wants his social circle to see what a wonderful person you are!

 

  1. He talks future plans—especially holidays.

Any nod to future plans is a good sign, but if it’s summer and he’s already discussing Christmas logistics, he’s smitten. Holidays give people two major excuses to be apart—family and extensive travel. If he’s ignoring the implications of both to include you, he values your time, your company, and the long term potential of your relationship.

 

  1. He handles your down moments.

This sign goes beyond his willingness to to see you in all of your forms—this sign is about YOU. Are you able to fall apart in front of this person and know that his opinion of you won’t change? If so, he’s giving you a gift that is beyond weathering occasional storms; he’s showing you that he offers unconditional support—a strong indicator that he’s in it for the long haul.

 

  1. He says “we”

When his decision evolves from “best for me” to “best for us”, he is subconsciously showing that you are part of bigger plans that extend beyond the present. In this case, “we” is more than just a pronoun, it’s his way of saying “you are a part of me.” As the relationship progresses, you’ll notice that questions directed to him are answered with “we”, because in his mind, most of the plans include you. We means he is “facing forward” into the future and seeing both of you as a unit.

 

  1. He wants to learn you.

He’s not only curious about what makes you tick, he’s interested in showing you that he’s absorbing the information. So, you love coffee. Does he know a coffee run is in order before Sunday’s errands? If you can’t join the coffee run, does your coffee come back with the right ratio of milk and sugar? Although seemingly small, these gestures speak volumes about his desire to learn you and your routines. At the end of the day, he wants to make you happy.

 

  1. He lets you in.

Emotional intimacy starts with vulnerability, and he’s willing to get vulnerable with you. Since some men struggle with expressing their feelings, the emphasis is on his willingness. If you ask the hard questions, he will work with you on answering them—even if that means visiting a counselor or therapist. Emotional bonds are much harder to break than their physical counterparts. If he’s serious about growing with you, you’ll be strengthening both types of attachment.

 

  1. You never wonder if he thinks you’re the most interesting person in the room.

In a crowded room, he always seems to be aware of how you’re doing; you have an ability to sense each other. Maybe it’s the way he encourages you to share your personality. Maybe it’s the way he knows what you’re thinking without any words at all. Whatever it is, you know you’re with someone who reads you and enjoys the story you tell.

 

If you’re dating someone and he hasn’t started to exhibit any of these “signs”,  give him a chance and don’t give up too soon. Everyone arrives to the dating game with their own history, set of experiences and expectations. It’s impossible to know what’s going on in his head but by giving him some time, you can closely watch his behavior and see if he’s the man for you or you’re meant to be moving on.

You can always email our founder Amy at: amy@linxdating.com and ask her dating advice in a confidential manner.

Happy Spring, happy dating….XO

 

 

Cinematic Greatest Kisses of All Time

On this holiday, enjoy TIME Magazines greatest cinematic kisses of all time. They left out some of my personal cinematic favorites (Sixteen Candles, Romancing the Stone, Something’s Gotta Give to name three) but still a great montage.

How to Be A Completely Unforgettable Woman & Seduce Your Man…

What’s your style and unique way of being completely unforgettable when it comes to romance and seduction? Some women tell us it’s a having inner confidence and that nothing is sexier than a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it. Others say it’s a woman who let’s him guess and discover more and more about her each time they see one another- in other words…being mysterious always tops the list.

One friend of Linx recently shared she loves being dominant sexually and taking control. When he’s least expecting it, she finds great pleasure in surprising him with what she wants and wanting it now! We know lots of women who use their ambition as the ultimate tool of seduction. It goes back to a woman who knows she she wants, isn’t afraid to express herself, yet the delivery and actions of this is done in a masterfully sexy way.

Many women agree it’s what she wears in the bedroom- silk, black lingerie, or…..

And the way she smells (think figuring out your signature scent) or having your own look and sense of style can be very seductive for a man.

Burlesque dancer, model, and actress, Dita Von Teese, shares her thoughts on the art of seduction.

What’s seduction mean to you?!

Keeping the Romance Alive!

After a couple of years of marriage, it’s easy to fall into a rut. You’ve gotten what you set out for: the ring, your dreamboat and the title of Mrs. You’re off the market, so who do you have to impress? You’d rather spend your resources on building a family and/or focusing on your career, but making these your sole focus and not making “you” time can lead to bad habits. Style is often a big part of this rut women can fall into…sometimes it’s just not a priority now.

If children are in the picture, you’re dealing with even more challenges: lack of sleep, weight fluctuations, saving for college and most likely covered in drool, snot, sticky fingers and goodness knows what else. Can’t help but think about this scene from Baby Mama.

When it comes to keep to keeping romance alive in your marriage, something many of us struggle with, I was asked by Tog + Porter to share in my ideas considering I am approaching 5 years of wedded bliss.

I wanted to do this piece because it is something I can relate to all too well. I’ve been married nearly half a decade now which is crazy considering it has flown by so quickly. We both work insanely long hours, typically 7 days a week. This means it is all too easy to get caught up in work and distracted in the constant deluge of emails and work stress that it can begin to really “chip away” at the romance that was once so present in the early stages of married bliss. I guess they call it the honeymoon period for a reason!

I think it is really important to remember the simple things in your marriage. What originally brought you both together. What the glue was that linked you together? No matter how chaotic our days are, we always remember to say “I Love You”- even in a text message during the day. Leaving a post-it on one’s morning coffee can be the sweetest affirmation that you love your honey and life is good. I am also a huge believer in date night.DateNight1

Tog + Porter stylist Camilla Basse says, “I am constantly hearing from clients that when it comes time for date night, they either don’t have any appropriate attire, or they don’t feel good in what they do have. That is often the starting point on helping Tog + Porter clients build their wardrobes. We run through all of the possible date scenarios and put together entire outfits accordingly.  They love knowing that no matter what occasion may come up, they will always have a no fail outfit at the ready and will feel GREAT when they put it on, which is all important when you are keeping the romance alive.”DateNIght2You’re balancing a lot, you have a crazy schedule, we get it. You should feel good in your clothes and they should portray the women you want to be, so you can concentrate on the really important things like checking in with your spouse or your long-term beau.

A good example of our typical day was last Friday. We were non-stop meetings, calls, and running all around doing our things. We both got home around 6:00pm and my husband was about to go do something else, the puppy was barking, and I said ‘Honey, let’s have a glass of wine together and just sit here and catch up.’ I opened a bottle of wine and we just shared that important couple time to catch up and just get to baseline. Remember the emails, texts, calls coming in can all wait. Take the critical 45 minutes to give your honey that check in, support, and love. How was your day? Laugh. Listen. Focus on one another.

We transitioned from chatting in our living room to throwing on a simple little dress for me and cute jeans/dress shirt for him and walked to grab dinner. No worries of traffic or even needing to get all dolled up. We held hands. We laughed. We broke bread together. He indulged me getting frozen yogurt after dinner even though he hates it. We strolled around our little suburban street together gazing in windows. For us it was the perfect easy date night that felt good to connect emotionally and to remember to slow down. Datenight3Guys are visual, so appearance IS important, even after you’re married. You don’t have to be dressed to the nines 24/7, but it’s important to make some effort every day, not just for your hubbie, but for yourself as well. There are up and downs in every marriage and the reality is it takes work. One of the ways to keep you and your honey continuously growing together and renewing your love is by keeping the romance alive and its nearly impossible to do this if you look and feel frumpy.

Follow me on Twitter @linxdating

Romance in the Air | Linx Love

I am delighted to learn about another Linx couple who is exclusive and just shared their first Valentine’s together in San Francisco. Both are young and very bright, dynamic entrepreneurs and so nicely matched on many levels.

She shared with me, “He really went all out. Since he’s still getting his place set up, he came over to mine, bag full of groceries and a bouquet of a dozen long-stem roses and white star lilies in hand, which were exquisite! He immediately popped open a bottle of champagne and made a beautiful cheese plate (which included a heart shaped goat cheese with cranberries and brie covered with sliced strawberries). I volunteered to help, but he resisted and told me to just sit down and enjoy. I lit some candles and sipped on champagne as I watched him prepare dinner. He brought his jambox and had a whole playlist ready to go. For dinner he made a calamari pasta dish and a beautiful salad, which we enjoyed with a bottle of red wine he brought over. We then lit a fire and stayed up pretty late….”Vday Collage

Here is a darling collage from their Valentine’s together. Talk about rolling out the red carpet and setting the stage for incredible romance together! This gentleman was raised very well and certainly knows how to treat a woman. His match is a beauty and has a brain for business yet is ultra feminine and loves a man who “is a man.”

The Linx girls are excited to see you both progress together and so happy to have another Linx match and two fantastic members off the market!