romance

Does He Think You’re the One? 7 Signs that Point to Yes

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You meet and there’s chemistry. Real chemistry. You are starting to fall hard, but ghosts from relationships—and flings—of the past prompt you to ask: “Is this serious infatuation or could this be real?”

 

Instead of spending energy trying to figure out what he means, look for behaviors that reveal investment. If these signs apply to your current relationship, chances are he thinks you’re the one or, at the very least, a serious contender.

 

  1. He wants everyone to meet you.

He’s excited to incorporate you into his world, and that starts with meeting the main characters. You are meeting friends, family, coworkers and anyone else who knows your partner well. You’ll notice that many of them have been looking forward to meeting you. If he’s aiming to build a life together, he wants start building memories with the people who matter most. He feels proud to stand next to you and he wants his social circle to see what a wonderful person you are!

 

  1. He talks future plans—especially holidays.

Any nod to future plans is a good sign, but if it’s summer and he’s already discussing Christmas logistics, he’s smitten. Holidays give people two major excuses to be apart—family and extensive travel. If he’s ignoring the implications of both to include you, he values your time, your company, and the long term potential of your relationship.

 

  1. He handles your down moments.

This sign goes beyond his willingness to to see you in all of your forms—this sign is about YOU. Are you able to fall apart in front of this person and know that his opinion of you won’t change? If so, he’s giving you a gift that is beyond weathering occasional storms; he’s showing you that he offers unconditional support—a strong indicator that he’s in it for the long haul.

 

  1. He says “we”

When his decision evolves from “best for me” to “best for us”, he is subconsciously showing that you are part of bigger plans that extend beyond the present. In this case, “we” is more than just a pronoun, it’s his way of saying “you are a part of me.” As the relationship progresses, you’ll notice that questions directed to him are answered with “we”, because in his mind, most of the plans include you. We means he is “facing forward” into the future and seeing both of you as a unit.

 

  1. He wants to learn you.

He’s not only curious about what makes you tick, he’s interested in showing you that he’s absorbing the information. So, you love coffee. Does he know a coffee run is in order before Sunday’s errands? If you can’t join the coffee run, does your coffee come back with the right ratio of milk and sugar? Although seemingly small, these gestures speak volumes about his desire to learn you and your routines. At the end of the day, he wants to make you happy.

 

  1. He lets you in.

Emotional intimacy starts with vulnerability, and he’s willing to get vulnerable with you. Since some men struggle with expressing their feelings, the emphasis is on his willingness. If you ask the hard questions, he will work with you on answering them—even if that means visiting a counselor or therapist. Emotional bonds are much harder to break than their physical counterparts. If he’s serious about growing with you, you’ll be strengthening both types of attachment.

 

  1. You never wonder if he thinks you’re the most interesting person in the room.

In a crowded room, he always seems to be aware of how you’re doing; you have an ability to sense each other. Maybe it’s the way he encourages you to share your personality. Maybe it’s the way he knows what you’re thinking without any words at all. Whatever it is, you know you’re with someone who reads you and enjoys the story you tell.

 

If you’re dating someone and he hasn’t started to exhibit any of these “signs”,  give him a chance and don’t give up too soon. Everyone arrives to the dating game with their own history, set of experiences and expectations. It’s impossible to know what’s going on in his head but by giving him some time, you can closely watch his behavior and see if he’s the man for you or you’re meant to be moving on.

You can always email our founder Amy at: amy@linxdating.com and ask her dating advice in a confidential manner.

Happy Spring, happy dating….XO

 

 

Cinematic Greatest Kisses of All Time

On this holiday, enjoy TIME Magazines greatest cinematic kisses of all time. They left out some of my personal cinematic favorites (Sixteen Candles, Romancing the Stone, Something’s Gotta Give to name three) but still a great montage.

How to Be A Completely Unforgettable Woman & Seduce Your Man…

What’s your style and unique way of being completely unforgettable when it comes to romance and seduction? Some women tell us it’s a having inner confidence and that nothing is sexier than a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it. Others say it’s a woman who let’s him guess and discover more and more about her each time they see one another- in other words…being mysterious always tops the list.

One friend of Linx recently shared she loves being dominant sexually and taking control. When he’s least expecting it, she finds great pleasure in surprising him with what she wants and wanting it now! We know lots of women who use their ambition as the ultimate tool of seduction. It goes back to a woman who knows she she wants, isn’t afraid to express herself, yet the delivery and actions of this is done in a masterfully sexy way.

Many women agree it’s what she wears in the bedroom- silk, black lingerie, or…..

And the way she smells (think figuring out your signature scent) or having your own look and sense of style can be very seductive for a man.

Burlesque dancer, model, and actress, Dita Von Teese, shares her thoughts on the art of seduction.

What’s seduction mean to you?!

Keeping the Romance Alive!

After a couple of years of marriage, it’s easy to fall into a rut. You’ve gotten what you set out for: the ring, your dreamboat and the title of Mrs. You’re off the market, so who do you have to impress? You’d rather spend your resources on building a family and/or focusing on your career, but making these your sole focus and not making “you” time can lead to bad habits. Style is often a big part of this rut women can fall into…sometimes it’s just not a priority now.

If children are in the picture, you’re dealing with even more challenges: lack of sleep, weight fluctuations, saving for college and most likely covered in drool, snot, sticky fingers and goodness knows what else. Can’t help but think about this scene from Baby Mama.

When it comes to keep to keeping romance alive in your marriage, something many of us struggle with, I was asked by Tog + Porter to share in my ideas considering I am approaching 5 years of wedded bliss.

I wanted to do this piece because it is something I can relate to all too well. I’ve been married nearly half a decade now which is crazy considering it has flown by so quickly. We both work insanely long hours, typically 7 days a week. This means it is all too easy to get caught up in work and distracted in the constant deluge of emails and work stress that it can begin to really “chip away” at the romance that was once so present in the early stages of married bliss. I guess they call it the honeymoon period for a reason!

I think it is really important to remember the simple things in your marriage. What originally brought you both together. What the glue was that linked you together? No matter how chaotic our days are, we always remember to say “I Love You”- even in a text message during the day. Leaving a post-it on one’s morning coffee can be the sweetest affirmation that you love your honey and life is good. I am also a huge believer in date night.DateNight1

Tog + Porter stylist Camilla Basse says, “I am constantly hearing from clients that when it comes time for date night, they either don’t have any appropriate attire, or they don’t feel good in what they do have. That is often the starting point on helping Tog + Porter clients build their wardrobes. We run through all of the possible date scenarios and put together entire outfits accordingly.  They love knowing that no matter what occasion may come up, they will always have a no fail outfit at the ready and will feel GREAT when they put it on, which is all important when you are keeping the romance alive.”DateNIght2You’re balancing a lot, you have a crazy schedule, we get it. You should feel good in your clothes and they should portray the women you want to be, so you can concentrate on the really important things like checking in with your spouse or your long-term beau.

A good example of our typical day was last Friday. We were non-stop meetings, calls, and running all around doing our things. We both got home around 6:00pm and my husband was about to go do something else, the puppy was barking, and I said ‘Honey, let’s have a glass of wine together and just sit here and catch up.’ I opened a bottle of wine and we just shared that important couple time to catch up and just get to baseline. Remember the emails, texts, calls coming in can all wait. Take the critical 45 minutes to give your honey that check in, support, and love. How was your day? Laugh. Listen. Focus on one another.

We transitioned from chatting in our living room to throwing on a simple little dress for me and cute jeans/dress shirt for him and walked to grab dinner. No worries of traffic or even needing to get all dolled up. We held hands. We laughed. We broke bread together. He indulged me getting frozen yogurt after dinner even though he hates it. We strolled around our little suburban street together gazing in windows. For us it was the perfect easy date night that felt good to connect emotionally and to remember to slow down. Datenight3Guys are visual, so appearance IS important, even after you’re married. You don’t have to be dressed to the nines 24/7, but it’s important to make some effort every day, not just for your hubbie, but for yourself as well. There are up and downs in every marriage and the reality is it takes work. One of the ways to keep you and your honey continuously growing together and renewing your love is by keeping the romance alive and its nearly impossible to do this if you look and feel frumpy.

Follow me on Twitter @linxdating

Romance in the Air | Linx Love

I am delighted to learn about another Linx couple who is exclusive and just shared their first Valentine’s together in San Francisco. Both are young and very bright, dynamic entrepreneurs and so nicely matched on many levels.

She shared with me, “He really went all out. Since he’s still getting his place set up, he came over to mine, bag full of groceries and a bouquet of a dozen long-stem roses and white star lilies in hand, which were exquisite! He immediately popped open a bottle of champagne and made a beautiful cheese plate (which included a heart shaped goat cheese with cranberries and brie covered with sliced strawberries). I volunteered to help, but he resisted and told me to just sit down and enjoy. I lit some candles and sipped on champagne as I watched him prepare dinner. He brought his jambox and had a whole playlist ready to go. For dinner he made a calamari pasta dish and a beautiful salad, which we enjoyed with a bottle of red wine he brought over. We then lit a fire and stayed up pretty late….”Vday Collage

Here is a darling collage from their Valentine’s together. Talk about rolling out the red carpet and setting the stage for incredible romance together! This gentleman was raised very well and certainly knows how to treat a woman. His match is a beauty and has a brain for business yet is ultra feminine and loves a man who “is a man.”

The Linx girls are excited to see you both progress together and so happy to have another Linx match and two fantastic members off the market!

 

 

 

Valentine’s Date Scenario One : Over the Moon for You!

With Valentine’s Day less than 21 days away (where does the time go?) we thought we’d remind you to start thinking about how you plan to spend the day.

We were delighted when our friends at Tog + Porter offered their help on coming up with feminine and flirty outfit ideas. In fact, they even took it a step further and asked me to come up with specific date scenarios for them.

Together, we’ll be posting three distinct dates, each with a different relationship status and of course outfit! They recently posted the first date “Over the Moon for You” in the style guide section of their site.

OvertheMoon

 

Here’s the scenario I gave them: 

He’s a total romantic and rolls out the red carpet for his lady that he now calls his girlfriend. He tells her to dress up in a cocktail dress and heels for a night on the town. Her style by day is a bit of a risk taker, downtown chic combined with lots of patterns, textures, and obscure designers. She is the type to splurge on a few very pricey items each year and find fabulous bargains on others.

On Valentine’s, his driver arrives at her condo and he greets her with a stunning bouquet of her favorite flowers. The couple heads to Bix for live jazz and the perfect kir royales. Although she always says she doesn’t want one, he suggests her favorite “off the menu” mini truffled grilled cheeses for an appetizer. Is this guy a keeper or what?

Dinner follows and he surprises her with savory and sweet soufflés at Cafe Jacqueline in North Beach to share. The driver takes them back to her apartment where he walks her to the door. He pulls out a red box in his coat pocket. Not an engagement ring yet (too soon!) but a stunning Cartier gold love bracelet. She’s over the moon! He’s thrilled he lucked out on such a gorgeous catch!  An incredible kiss follows and an ‘I love you’ via text 5 minutes later.

So what’s a gal to wear on such a date? Here’s what Tog + Porter came up with: OvertheMoonOption1 copy

Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to wear a flirty red cocktail dress. This dress can be worn two different ways. First, it can be paired back to this Veda leather jacket (obscure designer), lace booties (texture/pattern), and a classic black clutch. Or it can be paired back to tone on tone black polka dot tights (texture/pattern), simple black pumps, and again the classic black clutch.

The second look, which includes a bronze peplum dress (textured fabric/on trend with the peplum) can also be worn two ways. It can be worn with opaque tights and booties for a bit of edge, or sans tights and just the classic peep-toe. OvertheMoonOption2

The studded heart bag is just the right amount of embellishment where it can stand on it’s own or easily compliment a lovely Valentine’s gift.

Need help putting together your Valentine’s Day outfit? Tog + Porter can help. Sign up for a style consult today. Need help coming up with date ideas, give me a ring. Also stay tuned for my two other dates scenarios: Adventurous and Quirky and Come to My House for Dinner. Coming Soon! XO

 

Backward is the way forward

With Mother’s Day just around the corner, naturally I think about my parents and their “love” journey – from dating to being married for over 40 years! Their love story serves as a constant reminder to me to slow down and really focus on what’s important when it comes to dating and love, which is something I always tell my clients.

Think back to when our parents were dating – when chivalry and manners were key and “options” were fewer. Remember the importance and excitement of courtship that our parents and other couples have been practicing for centuries. In today’s fast paced society where we are leading such busy and technologically connected lives, it’s important to slow down and remember to enjoy the ride.

I’d like to take you on a brief stroll back through the history of romance and encourage you to remember where we came from with regards to dating and, in the process, share with you a couple of good old-fashioned dating tips about targeting only the most critical options in your search, making the effort to have more face-to-face interactions, and embracing chivalry.

1.Choices: Remember that “less is more”

Thinking back to when my parents were dating, my father just knew he wanted to marry my mother, proposed after only seven days of knowing her and “lived happily ever after” with some bumps along the way, naturally. Back when our parents were “dating” – the pool of eligible mates was smaller, fewer choices meant more focus on what was really important when it came to courtship and truly “getting to know” someone. When it comes to dating, too often I see people passing up wonderful opportunities and chances for great connections because they want to “keep their options open.” Having options is wonderful, but it’s not about quantity here – more importantly, think about what really matters in finding the one person you want to share your life with – what are their values, passions and goals, just to name a few?  These deeper things all take quality time to learn about in another person- versus he is an inch too short or she isn’t skinny enough. Look to have fewer options and instead focus on what’s important and target your dating efforts accordingly.

2. Personal Communication

In our technology driven world, it has become more convenient to chat via e-mails and text messaging, and this has stunted the growth of intimacy and good old fashioned personal communication, especially face-to-face! While it may be quicker and more convenient to send a message – in the world of dating, a phone call and human interaction is much more personal and can be key to building meaningful relationships.

Also, the thrill of meeting someone new in person and by chance occurs much less often since people are now searching for potential dates online. Think back to when Facebook and social networks were nonexistent… there was no such thing as snooping around online, clicking through photos and formulating judgments based on the information provided online. In dating and love, courtship is an exciting time to enjoy the companionship and intimacy of another human – offline and not through texts! So, get off your bum and spice up your romantic life by making the effort to utilize old fashioned communication. Make that phone call instead of texting, grab a drink and have a nice conversation, go out on a limb – hand write and send a card (my parents were pen pals during their courtship with a new letter in the box each day!) These are things will add intrinsic value to your interpersonal relationships.

3. Chivalry is not dead!

This is something I can’t tell my clients enough, both for the men and women. We are living in a time when women are becoming increasingly independent, hard working and highly respected professionally. Some women may feel as if they’re betraying their strong female identity by allowing a man to play the dominant role. Truth is, women still crave ultra-traditional ways of dating – they want to be pursued, protected, and cared for by their partners.

So, for men – look to the men in your past generations and incorporate some good old-fashioned courtship into the mix. Does this mean the women you date will be any less brainy and independent? Absolutely not. It is possible to have a well-rounded, intelligent and strong woman who will greatly appreciate a true, stand-up and chivalrous gentleman. That means, take initiative to make decisions and ask her out, follow through with what you say (don’t be flakey), open doors for her wherever you go, pay for dinner, listen and take care of her and don’t forget the sweet gestures from time-to-time. A real woman will appreciate and even reciprocate!

For women, there’s no harm in swooning just a little when your man is kicking it old school by treating you like a lady.  Though it’s been a long time since women have typically needed to be fully supported by men, admittedly those qualities are still innately attractive. Furthermore, when he plans a date, compliments you, or helps you with a problem – it’s powerful because on an unconscious level, it shows his ability to take charge and his staying power in the relationship. Ladies, swoon on!

The good old days are back my friends.

And when it comes to dating and love, backward is the way forward.