real estate

Matchmakers as Brokers

Although matchmaking has been my profession and one of my greatest passions for the last 18 years, I have many other interests, and residential real estate is one of them… I love driving and walking around and noting homes that are for sale and, more so pre-COVID 19, touring open homes.  I believe deeply in serendipity – random discoveries on Sunday open home drives have led to my two home purchases.   There was clearly luck involved, but had I not put myself out there to get lucky, I would not have had the chance to get lucky.

Please humor me today as I engage in some residential real estate comparisons to shed some light on what I do at Linx Dating.  Please forgive any simplification in my analogies – I am simply trying to make a few broad points.

In the old days pre-internet, as a prospective home buyer, you generally relied on a broker to do even the very basics of your search, unless you were willing to settle for driving through neighborhoods looking for “for sale” signs or perusing the Sunday local newspaper real estate section.  A good broker would get to know you and your needs, would generate a list of potential properties to view from a listing service which was not easily accessed by non-brokers, and take you around to open homes and private tours until hopefully you found what you were looking for.   They would then generate paperwork to help you complete the various phases of the transaction, along with your bank if you were obtaining a mortgage, and then earn a brokerage fee calculated as a percentage of the sale price of the home. 

The question is, why, in the age of the publicly available and online multiple listing service and seemingly endless choices of secondary apps and services such as Zillow or Redfin, do we still need real estate brokers?   They basically do what they used to do.  

It’s a fair point.  Why should an agent, today, earn 2.5% for creating a list for you that looks like the MLS list and auto-generating paperwork from a repository of documents using “find and replace?”  Yes, they can get you into a home during non-open home times, etc. etc.   But what distinguishes them?  And why, somehow, in light of this, do only 7-10% of homes get listed directly by sellers, meaning they are not using a broker?  There has to be more going on.

The parallels to dating are noteworthy.   Why invest in a personalized concierge matchmaker when there is Match.com, Tinder and all of the countless others available like the MLS? 

Well, this is where it gets complex.

Are all of the available home properties on the MLS?  Many are, for sure.  But some of the best properties are “pocket listings,” “off-market listings,” or might never even make it to any listing.  A good broker has a strong local network and can hear about properties that might be coming on the market in the future, or even owners who might be worth proactively approaching about selling their homes.   You don’t get this on Zillow.   A great broker is worth their weight in gold – certainly 2.5%.

In the dating world, not all of the great “catches” are on the apps.  Why?  Maybe they are just uncomfortable with putting themselves out there publicly and they value their anonymity and privacy.  Maybe they don’t have the time or energy to invest in volume dating – to cycle through all of the prospects, messages, phone calls, texts, zooms, coffees, drinks, dinners and all of the rest.     Or maybe even if they *are* on the apps, their profiles are hidden or they are burned out on the games.  Or maybe they are *thinking* about trying online but haven’t yet.

At Linx Dating, we are discreet, we protect your privacy, and we tap our existing massive vetted and trusted network of referrals to find your match whether they are online or not.  We can also do highly tailored outbound recruiting on your behalf and come with a stamp of credibility for the “buyer” and the “seller.”


All of this aside, I still haven’t touched on what might be the most important function of a broker – something that for me can be the most frustrating and yet most fulfilling part of my job – and that is working to be a bridge builder, confidante, and psychologist to both candidates at the same time, nurturing the “transaction” and serving to smooth the lines of communication so that a potentially great long term match is not permanently impaired by some early turbulence, miscommunications, and reluctance for candidates to give each other the benefit of the doubt early in a relationship.  

I know this is true in dating – and I am told it’s true in residential real estate.   There are so many pitfalls that can derail a home purchase – problems with bank mortgage approval, a housing inspection gone awry, weird neighbors, or just the raw emotions of buying or selling a home.   This is where a seasoned broker with not only domain experience, but the right personality, can make a huge difference in closing a transaction that otherwise might have headed into the large abyss of the majority of deals that never get done.

I spend a large chunk of my day walking through my neighborhood with my Apple airpods cranked up, accumulating miles and steps and getting my exercise, as I talk to multiple clients, hearing how their early dates and communications with their matches are going, offering a listening ear, advice if needed or requested, and, on occasion, direct intervention if I feel it is warranted and can be helpful.

In the earliest stages of any relationship, when two people are just getting to know each other and to build trust, differences and misunderstandings can get completely blown out of proportion when emotions run high, and they can sink what could ultimately be a beautiful relationship.  It is often my job to steady the ship, to communicate with both people, and to help them see the big picture.   This can be as basic as my helping folks interpret signals from each other, or as in depth as providing “color” to both people if they might not initially be willing to give the other person the benefit of the doubt.

Just one recent example comes to mind – I was recently working with a successful 30-something male entrepreneur who had already successfully sold a company and had matched him to a 20-something female entrepreneur who was raising one of her first rounds of financing for her startup.  They clearly clicked, had chemistry, and long-term relationship potential.  However, a few of the dinners crossed over into business talk and, before you know it, he was giving her stern advice about the mistakes he thought she was making in her business and she, in turn, felt lectured, and that he was condescending, unempathetic in his inability to understand that she might not have the resources to follow his advice.  She was deeply hurt and needed to take a break.   He did not understand where he could have gone wrong as he was truly trying to help.  Enter Amy, as I tried to help them both individually understand how they could listen to each other and save something that could be really special and I am glad to say they are back on track.

I am not here to deny that homes can be bought and sold without a broker, or even that some home transactions use a broker who still basically only does what is available online with a little looking.  Similarly, online dating absolutely can work – with some luck and perseverance, there have been countless happy couples that have emerged from the apps.


But I am a believer in economics and survival of the fittest – ultimately, brokers need to justify their worth if they want their 2.5%.  This goes for residential real estate and elite matchmaking. 

Announcing our newest VIP…..are you his match?

Our client is handsome and highly successful, a youthful 48-year-old clean-cut white gentleman. He lives in an idyllic, private golf course community nestled in the rolling hills and vineyards of the San Francisco Bay Area.

Born and raised in Southern California, our client remains very close to his entire family: his parents, his sister, and her two boys. He stands at a physically fit 5’7”, his dark brown hair is perfused with soft grey highlights, and he has kind green-blue eyes that sparkle when he smiles. He has a relaxed sense of style, going for what he calls a “Steve Jobs look” at work.

What he values most are family, ambition, balance, and creativity; at his core he believes that life is for living, and living means fun and passion. His disposition is kind and generous; he treats others with respect, and is the sort of man you can trust and feel safe with. His confidence never tips into arrogance, and is tempered by his easygoing personality.

A father of two, our client starts each day bright and early, making breakfast with his two adorable and inquisitive sons, aged 11 and 13. Both are straight-A students and have Dad’s passion for innovation and invention. After dropping the boys at school, he’s usually no more than a five-minute drive to his latest startup, where he can explore his passion for his next big idea.

Our client has been creating businesses since he was in his 30s; he takes great pride in the culture at each company, often working with the same great group of friends and colleagues who have accompanied him to each new startup. A leader in his field, our client is the very definition of the successful serial entrepreneur. He received his undergraduate and graduate degrees from one of the top engineering schools in the country and holds over 200 patents for his various technologies. But unlike a lot of classically trained, introverted engineers, our client has a highly developed emotional intelligence; he’s a social guy who likes being around people.

He recently celebrated another big win through his latest company’s IPO, and his new ventures continue to display his Midas touch in business. All he really needs is a partner to celebrate life’s victories with him, a woman who is emotionally supportive and loving.

At heart, our client is an active outdoorsman, one who is reinvigorated by active time in the natural world. He’s a near scratch golfer, loves winter skiing and summer hiking, and plays as hard as he works by dining and wine-tasting with a close-knit group of friends.

In a world of inconsistencies, our client is a stand-up guy, reliable and steadfast. But he’s spontaneous and creative too! This multi-talented man just designed and remodeled his entire modern-contemporary home; now he’s dreaming of relaxing evenings under the starry skies, sitting beside the fire pit and the swimming pool, with a glass of wine, and his sweetheart snuggled affectionately by his side.

One of his passions is real estate, and he is thrilled to have just closed on a stunning lot in an exclusive Lake Tahoe enclave. Here he will begin building a dream home from the ground up, and he hopes his dream woman will be by his side to help him.

After years of burning the midnight oil running his companies, our client has learned that balance is critical. Now he needs a partner to continually remind him! He has a passion for travel, having explored Tokyo, Singapore and Bali, and hopes to indulge his wanderlust with the right woman.

His ideal match is between the ages of 32 and 42, petite to slender in build, 5’0”-5’7”, with medium to long hair, a beautiful smile, inviting eyes, and feminine in appearance. Her look is sweet and kind, her style tasteful and not provocative.

His dream match is social and comfortable with others, a positive person who sees life with a glass-half-full perspective. Adventurous with a go-with-the flow attitude, she’s the kind of bubbly and carefree woman people like to be around. As his career can be demanding, she must be incredibly supportive, his greatest cheerleader.

This is a woman who responds best to a strong male that she can inspire, support, and love. She’s all about the little details, whether it’s planning a quiet night with wine and cheese by the fire when he gets home or an adults-only spontaneous get-away to Hawaii, with less than 48 hours to pack! Her mission is to make her leading man feel loved and cherished through the strength of her affection and the warmth of heart.

While she might have a career of her own, our client doesn’t require it. He’d be just as happy if his dream woman was in charge of the home and family—though she could easily have a career on the side, if she so desired. He’s also open to a woman who’s been relentless in her career, and is now ready to hang up the reins and focus on family.

Maybe she’s has been waiting to take on the CEO role of a household, and genuinely enjoys making a happy and beautiful home. She’s very good at planning everything, from the kids’ schedules to dinner parties to intimate couple’s nights, and all the little details in between. Our client and his family will be her priority.

Our client is a loving and very involved father to his boys, but he’s open to the idea of blended family with a woman who has children of her own; having more children together; or being content with their family of four.

He has tried the single life, and found it wasn’t for him. Now he’s ready to embark on a glorious monogamous relationship with someone as incredible as him.

If you or anyone you know might qualify as a candidate to meet this extraordinary VIP, please submit your information here.

There are NO fees for qualified candidates to meet our client.

Incredible San Francisco Pied-a-Terre Preview (not on market yet)

I had an opportunity to take an exclusive preview of a fabulous Russian Hill penthouse this week. This incredible condo has panoramic world class views from Pacific Heights through the Golden Gate that are simply stunning! 2423 Larkin St.-42

The right buyer is someone who is looking for a weekend pied-a-terre or primary residence for a single or couple. Located on Larkin Street, you can walk to Polk or Hyde Street for fine dining and socializing. scott pic

It has two-bedrooms, three baths (all with marble floors and showers), and with parking for one car (plus storage). The condo encompasses the entire top floor of a quiet boutique building. Other highlights include hardwood flooring, recessed lighting, double pane windows and in-unit laundry. night 2423 Larkin St.-392423 Larkin St.-8

This is not on the market yet, so please email me amy@linxdating.com this weekend if you are interested in a private tour and preview before it goes to market. For consideration in the US 2MM range. 2423 Larkin St.-1