Premier matchmaker

Have you ever believed that you were preordained to meet your soulmate?

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Have you ever believed that you were preordained to meet your soulmate?  

In Jewish culture, the word Bashert (or beshert; Yiddish: באַשערט) means “destiny”.  I had never heard of this word until a lovely woman that I matched to her beau explained it in full color to me. 

She explained that when two predestined souls find one another in their lifetimethey have met the “Beshert.”

Upon hearing this, she understood intuitively and knew deep down in her heart that this is what she would wait for…

Over the course of her twenties and thirties there would be several marriage proposals, however, she never experienced ‘the feeling’ that she was in the presence of her “Beshert” and so she waited… Before falling asleep at night she would visualize that when in the presence of her soul partner she would recognize him instantly… additionally, whenever she saw a happy couple she would be reminded of this deep connection and send “him” love from her heart chakra. She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that when the time was right he would appear in her life.

In the interim, she started seeing a skilled therapist who helped her clear the pathway for meeting her Beshert. The therapist recommended that she take off six months of dating to examine her patterns, blocks, etc so that she would be the best version of herself and be ready for “him.” That Christmas, (and five and half months into her dating sabbatical) she experienced a deep loneliness like something was missing. She texted her therapist that she KNEW this would be the last Christmas that she spent without her life partner. 

She was committed to expanding her world and began Googling ways to connect with eligible men and found Linx Dating in Silicon Valley. She submitted her information like many women do in the hopes of meeting their match and was paired to a wonderful man shortly thereafter. She shares that she has never felt this way about anyone, the way she feels about him.

From their first conversation, there was an understood mutual connection and then when they met in person, it was this total feeling of familiarity, ease, fun, and attraction. This particular couple started their Linx match based on establishing a strong foundation of friendship. Multiple dates, many weekends, shared meals, walks, talks, and only escalating to holding hands for the first many months.

After a solid friendship had developed rooted in trust, integrity, and a lot of laughter, they were ready to deepen their relationship and become monogamous and romantic. They continue to fall deeper in love every day and consider this one of their greatest journeys… and they both agree that the connection that they share was worth the wait. 

Life works in all sorts of unexpected ways and every day is a gift for which to be grateful. According to her therapist, I became part of the Bershert process when she contacted Linx Dating. It’s been an honor and my pleasure to help two incredible people find each other and be each other’s Bershert.

For those interested, Dr. Judith F. Chusid, has worked with over 48 couples on finding their “bashert”. She is a relationship specialist and performance coach on the East Coast. Look for her book coming out next month on Amazon titled: Success Is An Inside JobStop Playing Small ~ Overcome Fear of Success ~ Live in Your Potential (Tune into Your Passion-Do What You Love – Follow Your Bliss) and in 2020 look for Success Is An Inside Job: Stop Choosing the Wrong Person ~ Overcome Unhealthy Choices ~ Connect with Your Bershert You can contact her at jchusid@consultjfc.com or (212) 463-0080 to learn more. 

5 Questions to ask your prospective matchmaker when choosing which firm to work with:

1. How did you get into matchmaking – why do you do what you do?
2. How, and from where, do you source potential matches as “leads” and what is your subsequent vetting process?  In other words, what is the “secret sauce?”
3. Are my ideal match criteria realistic and do you honestly feel that you have high quality candidates for me in your existing database or would you need to source outside the current database?
4. At what point does a “match” become “official?” May I veto potential matches or do you unilaterally make that call?
5. Tell me about a recent success story of yours and why you matched that particular couple.

Finding Love After IPO

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You’ve poured your life into building your business. Long hours, lack of sleep, endless meetings have been your priority and, now, your time and dedication has paid off—your company is going public.

 

And, just like that, your social presence grows overnight. You’re inundated with speaking requests. You’re also inundated with a lot of romantic interest.

 

I’ve met several executives eager to re-prioritize their personal goals in the wake of an IPO. I’ve seen them struggle to find the right person—or even just a legitimate date—after coming into wealth and extra publicity. Ironically, for these clients, I’ve seen the dating space morph into a minefield of sorts.

 

How do you know if your next date is dating you for the right reasons?

 

How can you be sure that your private dating life stays private?

 

How will you know where to find the most eligible singles?

 

Just as you would hire a personal trainer to get fit or an accountant to organize your finances, I’ve been hired countless times to help extremely discerning clientele find their next partner.

 

To help my clients understand what they want in their next relationship and how to get it, I compare the process for finding the right partner to building a business.

 

  1. What problem are you trying to solve?

Perhaps you’re trying to remedy loneliness or are interested in building partnership. Maybe you’d like to “feel alive” with no strings attached, or you’re finally thinking it’s time to start a family. Most successful products and businesses are created to solve a specific problem—what’s yours?

 

Not sure where to start?

 

Envision your future. In five years, what kind of life do you envision? Where are you living? What are you doing? What would your mother say about you? How would your best friend describe you? Write it down.

 

  1. Set realistic expectations about the process.

What steps will you take in the short term to help meet your goals? Clients tend to be clear on their goals, but they can get a little lost on the game plan.

 

Some questions to ask yourself:

 

How much time do you plan to carve out per week to devote to your dating life?

 

How will you meet new people?

 

How will you date? Casual introductions over wine? Grand romantic gestures?

 

  1. Keep Iterating.

The qualities you look for may change during the dating process. Be open to the process and be prepared to adjust your ideas accordingly. Whereas it’s perfectly natural to have preferences (don’t we all?), you might find that your more urgent needs are satisfied by someone without the specific packaging.

 

Tip: Compromise on the packaging, never the standards.

 

  1. Hire your Weaknesses.

The demands of growing an empire may have distracted you from fine tuning your dating skills. Constant travel and other obligations may have limited your interactions to people in your professional network. Instead of trying to solve every problem at once, heed the words of billionaire Spanx founder Sara Blakely and “hire your weaknesses.”

 

Find the person you can trust; the person who has demonstrated enough experience in the realm of long-term relationships to help you make the best decision of your life. In the wake of money, media attention, and limited time, an extra pair of eyes, ears, and vetting could pay a lifetime of dividends.

 

With over a decades’ worth of experience serving high-profile clientele, I’m privy to the unique demands and sensitivities involved in the search for partnership. If you’re ready to hand off the reins to Silicon Valley’s leading matchmaker, get in touch.

 

Love and best wishes ❤️,

Amy

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Linx on Instagram! ms.linxdating

Dear Faithful Readers,

Yes, I am very behind the times setting up a professional account for Instagram but at long last, it’s up!

Please follow me on Instagram at  ms.linxdating  

If you enjoy all things related to Linx, dating, relationships, events, VIP client travel, glamour, and happenings in Silicon Valley and beyond please follow!

XO,

Amy

Dreaming of the OC….VIP bachelor searches for his So Cal sweetheart….

We are over-the-moon to announce another VIP search!  Linx VIP’s are extremely committed to finding the love of their lives. Due to our scrupulous selection process of who we admit to become our next VIP client, coupled with it being 100% the right timing in their lives, they go off the market FAST once we find the right “needle in a haystack” match for them.
Currently, we represent an elite handful of VIPs around the world and majority of these clients are off-the-market and planning their future with their respective match.  Most of these success stories stem back to our clients first or second introduction and voilà our challenging job is done! 
Our new VIP is anything sort of exceptional and the Linx ladies know first-hand having flown down to Orange County to spend a day in his beautiful home and surroundings. What other matchmaker flies to visit clients and enters their homes? None. For the females reading, this should provide tremendous security and comfort knowing just how extensive the Linx vetting process is of our premier clientele.
So without further ado, our VIP gentleman is a savvy, handsome, successful, and clean-cut Caucasian gentleman. He is a youthful 48-year old and based in a bucolic, private golf course community nestled within the rolling hills of Orange County just a few miles away from the beach. Born and raised in Denver, he maintains a very loving relationship with his entire family including his parents as well as his 3 brothers and 3 sisters, all of whom still reside in CO. 
Physically, our client stands at 5’9”, has brown hair with flecks of grey, piercing blue eyes, sun-kissed tan skin, and a trim physique. His smile is bright and white, adorned with dimples, and his sense of style is relaxed, yet put together when not at work, and wears a tailored suit and tie for his job. Family, balance, stability, faith, and fun are some of the cornerstones of his life.
 
This candidate is the sort of man whom you can rely on. He’s incredibly confident, yet this confidence is tempered with an easygoing, fun-loving personality. He starts his day bright and early with his two beautiful daughters ages 9 and 11 years old over breakfast, giggles, and homework – both are straight-A students and love school! Once they are safe and off to school, he boards a plane for a short flight to Santa Monica where he morphs from “devoted, cool Dad” into “Executive” – the President of an investment management firm.
 
He’s been with this Tier 1 firm for over a decade and prides himself on running a very well-oiled machine that is grounded in the right processes and hiring of good people – all skills that he built over a lifetime of experience. Come 4:30pm, he’s heading back to the plane to be at home with the girls for a healthy and delicious dinner together.
 
Traditional, down to earth, and a Colorado boy at heart, our client relishes in any opportunity to be outside. He loves golf, skiing, fresh water fishing, hiking, the beach, warm weather, dining, his close circle of buddies, fast cars, and good red wine – pinot noir being a favorite.
You will find him to be extremely consistent, organized, and creative too! He designed and built his custom French-style home and would absolutely love to embark on a series of other real estate adventures with his dream woman scouting the properties and building from the ground up. To him, the process was very rewarding and finding a woman with an aesthetic flair would be the yin to his yang.
 
One of his huge passions is travel! He’s been all over Europe, to Argentina, regularly goes to Hawaii and loves islands in general (BVIs, US Virgin Islands, French Polynesia, Mykonos, Santorini), and Australia. Finding a match who would jump at the chance to travel with her dream man would be the icing on the cake!
Our client has experienced and witnessed some of the greatest joys and sadness of life. In 2017, he lost his extremely beautiful wife to a long, multi-year battle with breast cancer. Out of the darkness came a huge appreciation of commitment, being a loyal husband, being married, and being a devoted family man.
 
He’s had sufficient time to mourn such a huge loss and while he understands she will never be replaced, his heart, soul, and life have created the balance and room for someone extraordinary and very special to enter it. The Linx ladies spent considerable time with him recently and chatted at length with him in his beautiful, bright home about what he needs in a match. One thing that is very clear is that the single life is not for him!
 
His best suited match is between the ages of 28-40, Caucasian, Mixed race, or Latina, and with a natural beauty about her. She’s slender, with medium to long hair, a great smile, and a chic sense of style. She needs to be easygoing, patient, possessing of a sunny disposition, and to appreciate the simple things in life. While she might have a career of her own, this is not a requirement of our client. He’d welcome the opportunity to have his match be in charge of the home and family – yet she could easily have a side career if desired.
If you or anyone you know might make a wonderful match for our dream bachelor, please do not hesitate to contact Amy Andersen at: amy@linxdating.com.  There are absolutely NO FEES involved for qualifying candidates.
Thank you and let’s get this great guy successfully paired up! Happy Spring!

Single in Orange County, CA?

 

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The Linx team is conducting screenings in Orange County, CA next week! If you are single and searching for the absolute love of your life, please contact Amy at amy@linxdating.com ASAP to see if you qualify for a complimentary mini meet and greet with the Linx ladies.

Save It For The Judge…..

 

iStock-472711356 copy.jpgI recently had someone challenge me, in an email exchange, about the expectations that we have of the men we work with at Linx and how we hold them accountable.

 

It is a great and fair question – but the answer is not so straightforward.  An equally great and fair question should be about the expectations we have of the women we work with at Linx and how we hold them accountable.

 

In this blog entry, I hope I can begin to answer these questions and illustrate that it really does go both ways and that the reality of passing judgment on people (whether men on women or women on men) may not always be pleasant, but is a fundamental truth in the human nature of long term romantic relationships.

 

During the Linx client intake process, there are a variety of questions I ask of the prospect and the type of match (s)he seeks. My primary goal at this early stage is to hone in on the more “scientific” part of the search, as I gather objective data regarding the type of match someone desires. These metrics are powerful, in that they allow me, the expert matchmaker, to create a solid and plausible foundation for a long-term match.

 

Naturally, some of the questions I ask can be a little hair-raising for some clients – for example, when I am asking a female prospect about her dress size and weight or if she has taken fertility measures to preserve her eggs (see more about this toward the end of the blog), some do not appreciate these blunt intrusions into sensitive subjects, while others go through the process with absolutely no objections.

 

A great prospective client I encountered shared, “I would hate to think in the end women are being judged one dimensionally in this process. While I appreciate everyone has preferences I would not be a match with a man that over indexes on a female’s looks and a particular dress size.”

 

I responded and told her that men are wired completely differently than us women. It is a universal and biological fact that men are extremely visual and generally fall in love with their eyes, whereas women appear to fall in love with their ears. The metrics and science of what someone desires is a relatively big part of this equation to find the right match. Every man I encounter has his own stated preferences and desires. From a physical stand point, some guys want Chinese, others East Asian, some Caucasian, no one over 5’5”, no one under 5’5”, long hair, short hair, light eyes, tan skin, no freckles, sexy in her style, or conservative style, light on the make-up, or dolls herself up all the time.

 

The data I gather is a completely eye-opening, scattergram of chaos. To add another layer of complexity, we then dive into a match’s personality, religion, lifestyle, career choice, marital background, hobbies, etc. It goes on and on and on. And this same principle of everyone having his/her own objective desires in a match applies equally to women. Women are just as harsh critics as the men are in what they need in a mate (from height, to hair, to personality, to income, to background, to lifestyle). The overarching conclusion is that even the most angelic people judge others. It’s life. We all secretly like what we like and don’t like what we don’t like. We don’t want to admit that human beings discriminate on a wide range of metrics but it is a fact that everyone I have ever encountered in my 16 years of running Linx has their own stated preferences and deal breakers in a potential match and if they state that they do not, they are, at least to some extent, lying to themselves and to me.

 

Another hot button topic for some women is when I ask whether she’s taken any fertility measures in her personal life to preserve her eggs. Egg freezing has become so popular as the tech giants like Facebook and Google often offer to pay for these incredibly pricey insurance policies. Take it or leave it but the fertility question in the intake is a big one. Not only am I asking women if they have thought about this, or if perhaps have already done multiple rounds of egg freezing, but the men on many occasions lecture me when they come in for their initial in-person meet and greets about a female’s biology and youth optimum IF the male prospect is wishing to have children in his personal life. Of course, there are a ton of men who either have kids, do not want kids, or have kids and do not wish for more. Again, everyone has their own stated ideals.

 

It is fair that fertility should even be a factor in the selection of a mate? Shouldn’t a female be chosen for her brain, heart and soul? Yes, actually I do believe that. But when I look to match, I align core value sets from a foundational standpoint and fertility is a large part of this equation if both parties want the option of having a child or children one day. Women, rest assured, that men are just not looking for a hot female who has ripe juicy eggs. Thank goodness. They actually are not as pigheaded as folklore goes. It is universally true that the types of men Linx Dating work with do “want it all”, just as the females that come into Linx want a man who “has it all” as well. It’s holistic, not just one-dimensional. Men need to be attracted first and foremost and then everything else hopefully aligns – brains, personality, and balance. Women seek financial stability, someone who has a healthy dose of EQ/IQ, and attraction is part of the picture too.

 

Making sure each party has a solid foundation and the match is a long-term match, not some short-term play, is critical. The couples I match enter serious relationships. I am an a bonafide expert and work with my clients to remove the chaos that can envelop mate selection when they are working on their own and “dating in the wild.”

 

No matter how you look at it, people select mates for a variety of reasons and no matter the approach, whether it be meeting someone serendipitously, via online/app dating, through Linx, or at work, we all are built to thin-slice (a la Malcolm Gladwell’s classic book “Blink”) and we do it consciously and unconsciously on a daily basis. Human beings are judgmental and if we if didn’t judge and thin-slice, we wouldn’t be able to create order and make sense of all the information around us.