premier matchmaker in Bay Area

Matchmakers as Brokers

Although matchmaking has been my profession and one of my greatest passions for the last 18 years, I have many other interests, and residential real estate is one of them… I love driving and walking around and noting homes that are for sale and, more so pre-COVID 19, touring open homes.  I believe deeply in serendipity – random discoveries on Sunday open home drives have led to my two home purchases.   There was clearly luck involved, but had I not put myself out there to get lucky, I would not have had the chance to get lucky.

Please humor me today as I engage in some residential real estate comparisons to shed some light on what I do at Linx Dating.  Please forgive any simplification in my analogies – I am simply trying to make a few broad points.

In the old days pre-internet, as a prospective home buyer, you generally relied on a broker to do even the very basics of your search, unless you were willing to settle for driving through neighborhoods looking for “for sale” signs or perusing the Sunday local newspaper real estate section.  A good broker would get to know you and your needs, would generate a list of potential properties to view from a listing service which was not easily accessed by non-brokers, and take you around to open homes and private tours until hopefully you found what you were looking for.   They would then generate paperwork to help you complete the various phases of the transaction, along with your bank if you were obtaining a mortgage, and then earn a brokerage fee calculated as a percentage of the sale price of the home. 

The question is, why, in the age of the publicly available and online multiple listing service and seemingly endless choices of secondary apps and services such as Zillow or Redfin, do we still need real estate brokers?   They basically do what they used to do.  

It’s a fair point.  Why should an agent, today, earn 2.5% for creating a list for you that looks like the MLS list and auto-generating paperwork from a repository of documents using “find and replace?”  Yes, they can get you into a home during non-open home times, etc. etc.   But what distinguishes them?  And why, somehow, in light of this, do only 7-10% of homes get listed directly by sellers, meaning they are not using a broker?  There has to be more going on.

The parallels to dating are noteworthy.   Why invest in a personalized concierge matchmaker when there is Match.com, Tinder and all of the countless others available like the MLS? 

Well, this is where it gets complex.

Are all of the available home properties on the MLS?  Many are, for sure.  But some of the best properties are “pocket listings,” “off-market listings,” or might never even make it to any listing.  A good broker has a strong local network and can hear about properties that might be coming on the market in the future, or even owners who might be worth proactively approaching about selling their homes.   You don’t get this on Zillow.   A great broker is worth their weight in gold – certainly 2.5%.

In the dating world, not all of the great “catches” are on the apps.  Why?  Maybe they are just uncomfortable with putting themselves out there publicly and they value their anonymity and privacy.  Maybe they don’t have the time or energy to invest in volume dating – to cycle through all of the prospects, messages, phone calls, texts, zooms, coffees, drinks, dinners and all of the rest.     Or maybe even if they *are* on the apps, their profiles are hidden or they are burned out on the games.  Or maybe they are *thinking* about trying online but haven’t yet.

At Linx Dating, we are discreet, we protect your privacy, and we tap our existing massive vetted and trusted network of referrals to find your match whether they are online or not.  We can also do highly tailored outbound recruiting on your behalf and come with a stamp of credibility for the “buyer” and the “seller.”


All of this aside, I still haven’t touched on what might be the most important function of a broker – something that for me can be the most frustrating and yet most fulfilling part of my job – and that is working to be a bridge builder, confidante, and psychologist to both candidates at the same time, nurturing the “transaction” and serving to smooth the lines of communication so that a potentially great long term match is not permanently impaired by some early turbulence, miscommunications, and reluctance for candidates to give each other the benefit of the doubt early in a relationship.  

I know this is true in dating – and I am told it’s true in residential real estate.   There are so many pitfalls that can derail a home purchase – problems with bank mortgage approval, a housing inspection gone awry, weird neighbors, or just the raw emotions of buying or selling a home.   This is where a seasoned broker with not only domain experience, but the right personality, can make a huge difference in closing a transaction that otherwise might have headed into the large abyss of the majority of deals that never get done.

I spend a large chunk of my day walking through my neighborhood with my Apple airpods cranked up, accumulating miles and steps and getting my exercise, as I talk to multiple clients, hearing how their early dates and communications with their matches are going, offering a listening ear, advice if needed or requested, and, on occasion, direct intervention if I feel it is warranted and can be helpful.

In the earliest stages of any relationship, when two people are just getting to know each other and to build trust, differences and misunderstandings can get completely blown out of proportion when emotions run high, and they can sink what could ultimately be a beautiful relationship.  It is often my job to steady the ship, to communicate with both people, and to help them see the big picture.   This can be as basic as my helping folks interpret signals from each other, or as in depth as providing “color” to both people if they might not initially be willing to give the other person the benefit of the doubt.

Just one recent example comes to mind – I was recently working with a successful 30-something male entrepreneur who had already successfully sold a company and had matched him to a 20-something female entrepreneur who was raising one of her first rounds of financing for her startup.  They clearly clicked, had chemistry, and long-term relationship potential.  However, a few of the dinners crossed over into business talk and, before you know it, he was giving her stern advice about the mistakes he thought she was making in her business and she, in turn, felt lectured, and that he was condescending, unempathetic in his inability to understand that she might not have the resources to follow his advice.  She was deeply hurt and needed to take a break.   He did not understand where he could have gone wrong as he was truly trying to help.  Enter Amy, as I tried to help them both individually understand how they could listen to each other and save something that could be really special and I am glad to say they are back on track.

I am not here to deny that homes can be bought and sold without a broker, or even that some home transactions use a broker who still basically only does what is available online with a little looking.  Similarly, online dating absolutely can work – with some luck and perseverance, there have been countless happy couples that have emerged from the apps.


But I am a believer in economics and survival of the fittest – ultimately, brokers need to justify their worth if they want their 2.5%.  This goes for residential real estate and elite matchmaking. 

Handsome Harvard educated Bay Area Bachelor seeks Outdoorsy Animal Loving Match to Embrace Life with Together

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Our client is a handsome Caucasian male who’s 43-years old, 5’10”, with a nice athletic build. He keeps fit from regular hiking, mountain biking, weight training and bits of yoga. Wellness is very important to him. Originally from Connecticut, he’s very much at home here in California.

He’s undeniably intelligent, Harvard educated and successful, but also down-to-earth, approachable, and loves to have fun and laugh – especially playful sarcastic banter.

He’s had an eclectic career spanning a number of industries and roles. Most recently though, he realized his true passion is helping people get healthy and has spent the last few years in leadership roles at healthy food companies.

You can just as easily find him leading a company, spending time with friends and family, or going on outdoor adventures with his five and a half year old vizsla.

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Our clients vizsla….adorable!

Our candidate is an empathetic, compassionate, direct communicator, in touch with his emotional side and unafraid to communicate it in caring ways. He’s definitely a bit of romantic and gives his whole self when in a relationship. He loves to travel and has been to at least 50 different countries, with dozens more on his wish list.

Favorite places so far: The night sky in the Maldives, the top of Mt. Whitney, Yarra Yering winery north of Melbourne, Borobudur Temple, the Whitsunday Islands, the wine in Saint-Emilion, his couch and a good Netflix series.

He approaches all aspects of life with creativity and out-of-the-box thinking, and doesn’t believe there are problems that can’t be solved. He believes you should always treat people fairly and equally, regardless of background. You can be absolutely drop-dead gorgeous, but if, for example, you treat service people as second-class citizens, he can’t be with you.

He would love to build a family and believes raising children will be the most important thing he’ll ever do – creating wonderful human beings and teaching them to go out and help change the world for the better. He learned that from his parents and wants to do the same for his children. Most importantly, our candidate is inherently happy and likes being around other happy, uplifting people.

His best suited match is between the ages of 28-40 years old. At her core she is highly compassionate, caring, and a giving soul. O. Henry’s book, “The Gift of the Magi” is a great example of the type of relationship our client strives for. Where two people give more to each other than take from one another.

As our client is into health, fitness, and overall wellness, it’s important that his match share a love of balance and healthy living too. In terms of physical appearance, she’s fit, naturally attractive, and isn’t greatly influenced by “keeping up with the Joneses”. She’s comfortable in her own skin, isn’t driven by money, highly altruistic, and looks forward to love deeply and to be deeply loved in return.

If you or anyone you know might make a great match for our handsome Bay Area bachelor, please email Amy at: amy@linxdating.com

Seeking Bay Area Single Women and Men in Tech to Star in a Film Documentary ….

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Linx has been approached about being the centerpiece of a film documentary produced by a leading renowned filmmaker.

 

Designed to be an open, honest, tasteful, and intellectual sociological snapshot of life and love in Silicon Valley, the film will follow the journey of two or three Linx members working in technology (premium or passive clients) as they navigate the often-challenging waters of the local dating scene.

For Linx – and for the lucky participants – the scope and potential of this proposed project is unbelievably exciting.

 

Given the impeccable journalistic standards of the project involved, we are seeking current (or new) members (or those who want to be a member!) who are willing to open their lives to the filmmaker, and who are comfortable being fully identified and filmed for the documentary.

 

This is an incredible invitation to market yourself to the entire world in one fell swoop. Imagine having the world as your stage? Forget swiping through dating apps and cycling through online dating sites; this is much grander and elite in scale.

 

For anyone who has been considering Linx but hasn’t fully committed to being a client, this is truly a once-in-a-lifetime chance to change the course of your journey.

 

Men and women alike will be considered as subjects for this piece, but timing and being in the tech industry is important.

 

It’s both humbling and exciting to receive this sort of recognition as a company that doesn’t advertise or have a PR firm; our reputation and your good word-of-mouth are everything in this business, and it is heartening to continue getting such strong and positive feedback from our clients.

 

We love working with all of you, and feel privileged to be able to help facilitate some of the most lasting and meaningful relationships in your lives. The number of recent exclusive couples, proposals, weddings, and Linx babies en route this coming fall and winter has been absolutely overwhelming, so we must be doing something right. 😉

 

If you or someone you know might be interested in exploring this possibility, please contact me amy@linxdating.com immediately for more information and next step details. Do not let this exceptional opportunity slip away!

 

 

 

The Very Hungry Caterpillar

bigstock_Girl_Eating_Burger_4655356Advice of the day for the female readers is enjoy the ritual of breaking bread on your dates! What do I mean by that? Ladies arrive to your dates hungry and don’t be fussy when ordering.

Men are often hypersensitive to women not eating on dates. It signals to them that you might have body issues or insecurities that he probably faced in a previous relationship and likely does not find attractive. At some point in our lives, most of us have been “that girl” who orders a small side salad, skips out on the bread, and has an ice tea on her dinner date. It’s so cliche….Cher_Horowitz_Closet-022_2-376x323

Remember that classic line from one of my all time favorite movies Clueless where Cher feels out out control with her eating for the day? “I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M’s and, like, 3 pieces of licorice” Don’t come across as a high maintenance girl and announce what you ate, what you wish you ate, or how much weight you have to lose. This happens! I’ve heard it and I’ve seen it! Men think it’s sexy when a woman has an actual appetite. She’s not afraid to eat in front of him and not concerned with ordering what she actually wants to enjoy. 2014-03-18-PICKYEATING3

Linx guys expects to buy their dates dinner, so plan to actually eat dinner. Men often tell us they’re turned off by women who don’t eat. Also, you may think he’s never heard this, but saying “But I’m actually really full… this is the second dinner I’ve had today,” is not an original line. Every guy has heard that before. And no one likes hearing it.

Although my advice is to eat, drink, and be merry on your dates, the truth is many women do struggle with real eating disorders that plague their lives. I’m no expert on this topic and don’t have the knowledge to write about it but should you be someone who is reading this who does struggle with body image issues and any disorders, I strongly encourage you to seek professional help and not be afraid in doing so. The sooner you do this, the quicker you will be ready to date and date successfully….being that alluring and confident woman men love.

On a final note, try not to be too high maintenance when ordering. 😉

Linx on NPR Today | Playing matchmaker in Silicon Valley

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