meeting Stanford singles

Mary Had a Little Lamb

Have you ever started dating someone and made the infamous trip to their pad, all excited to maybe cook together, chill for the night….the candles are lit, the wine is open, the hot make-out has happened UNTIL you see their bedroom covered in stuffed animals?

That’s right, stuffed animals, teddy bears, and creepy dolls in a doll case? Although your new love interest might be biologically 30 years old, it is almost as if you are in his/her parent’s home in the old childhood bedroom. iStock_000022311896Medium

This stuff happens all the time. It can be a serious BUZZ KILL and put a damper on the evening. Why have the oversize teddy bears, droopy eyed larger-than-life fuzzy puppy dog, stuffed random toys, creepy porcelain dolls, Cabbage Patch Dolls, and the like gracing the bed, bookshelves, and what seems like a hallucinogenic nightmare for you.

I’ll admit I still have some of my absolute favorite fuzzy friends from childhood- but tucked away safe in a large box (or two!) at my parents home. These friendly little faces used to be my best buds- they listened to me when I really needed them, never talked back when I was bratty, tucked me in safe at night when I hated the dark, and even were my “best students” when I used to play school all throughout middle school. I packed fake lunches for them at night, begged my mom to take me to a real teachers supply store to purchase the teachers essentials (like a #1 Teachers mug, the perfectly sharp pencils, crisp paper, rulers, a marker board, smelly fruity markers, and of course..the grade and role book. )

Although I don’t play school anymore and hang with my buds aka my: “Ready Teddy bear” , “Rolo bear”, “Dancer Bear, “Nigel Murphy Cabbage Patch Doll”, “Kay Amie Cabbage Patch Doll” , or Rolo bears child aka “Small G ”…I do think of them on occasion. We shared SO much together. That said, I grew up, I moved on, I tucked them away safely in a storage box and knew they would be very warm and cozy in their new crate home.

I wonder sometimes why adults who are on the dating market still have their stuffed friends widely displayed in their apartments and homes? I’m talking displayed across the entire bed. Don’t get me wrong, it is one thing to have a cute bear on a bookshelf or maybe a sweet fuzzy hippo, baby lamb, duck, doggy, rabbit, or koala from your alma mater with the alma mater tie on it or sash from graduation but not your whole collection. Young man in pajamas thoughts seated on sofa at home

From a dating perspective, I believe it sends the wrong signal. Thoughts that go through your new love interests mind could range from:

Bed wetter issues, does he/she still suck their thumb too, mommy or daddy issues, issues and more issues, can’t let go of the past, what else is messed up with this person?

Your stuffed doggie can bring you serious relief from a crappy day at work and be a well deserved source of comfort for you- even when you are an adult. Or that little lamb can distress from you from an anxiety ridden situation or cradle you after a shitty break-up.

Now to throw an interesting twist to the scenario, Harvard Business School published information which reveals that “Adults are less likely to cheat and more likely to engage in pro-social behaviors when reminders of children, such as teddy bears and crayons, are present.”

So maybe we all keep the bear, buy some crayons, and throw a little tea party to boot?

Meet the Love of Your Life in 2014

As a “curator” of Silicon Valley’s and San Francisco’s most desirable eligibles, clients often ask me what they should do, in conjunction with Linx, to meet people. First of all, I love this question because it shows me that a new client, for example, is being super proactive about putting (him)herself out there.

In running Linx for over a decade now, my philosophy has always remained simple and to the point. In order to find the love of your life, you must pursue multiple channels simultaneously to maximize the likelihood of meeting a pool of like-minded potential matches from whom you might then find “the one”. I am astounded by close-minded matchmakers around town who claim that they are the “only” good resource to meet people or that their clients don’t need to work hard in order to meet the love of their life. This is completely bogus.

Creating your own luck is an art. My mantra is that everyone is a work in progress and many times this means working on oneself through coaching, strict fitness regimens, etc. and it also means putting yourself out there intelligently. Luck is truly where preparation meets opportunity.

The intelligent client of Linx knows that in order to substantially increase his or her odds of locating that so called “needle in a haystack match” you must utilize numerous approaches and that goes far beyond working with one, two, or sometimes even three various matchmakers.

So it is 2014… a great way to feel connected is through a common hobby or interest – this has always been one dimension of the Linx methodology. Many clients love to learn and to push themselves intellectually and/or physically and are always taking some sort of class outside of the scope of work. It could be anything – one client recently took a mixology class in the Mission district in San Francisco with other aspiring mixologists who mingle, shake, stir, and sip their new creations. Taking a class like this can be a fantastic way to meet dynamic types and what an easy way to “break the ice” – over homemade cocktails.

A hot spot for a girl looking to meet a potentially active and athletic Silicon Valley guy could be rock climbing gyms. This is how a lot of men burn stress and do something that improves their state mentally and physically as a serious challenge. In fact, if I were a single girl on the market, I would get my tuchus into a boxing or rock climbing gym hasta pronto! I’d make sure to wear nice workout clothing, be groomed, and have a great “can do” fun attitude.

I’m a big believer in disrupting your current lifestyle if you are not seeing the results you desire in your personal life. Get out there. Start a co-ed book club if you enjoy reading and want to increase your odds of chatting with the person next to you that happens to be eligible and a life-long learner. A match could be made! There should be ZERO excuses to meet people. There are thousands, frankly hundreds of thousands of eligible men and women in the Bay Area. Everywhere you look can be a potential opportunity.

I know you can make 2014 the best year of your life for finding your match. You can start by emailing me today amy@linxdating.com and learning more about Linx and allowing our niche dating and social network to help you in more ways than one. Not only do we represent countless extremely high caliber men and women of all ages (20’s to late 60’s typically) but we go far beyond our core competency of pure matchmaking. We offer tons of preparation techniques for our clients (wardrobe consultation, fitness training, revolutionary techniques with private date coaching), on top of a long list of luxe concierge services, to complement your journey with Linx. We are the only firm out there that is ultra-personalized.

I can proudly share that I have personally interviewed EVERY client of mine in 10 years (with exception of one due to being ill) and spend considerable time getting to know everyone. Linx clients know they can call me at most hours of the day (or night) on my personal mobile and with the click of a button I am always here for them over email. Catch-up coffees, breakfasts, or dinners are par for the course with our clients as these are such ultra personal relationships that go far beyond that of matchmaker and client. Many of my clients have truly become my friends and, for that, I am extremely thankful. So what are you waiting for?