matchmaker to Silicon Valley

7 Practical Ways to Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work

 

iStock-925386886 copy 2.jpgMaybe you’ve met someone on vacation or you’ve decided to look for love in more than one (local) place—and found it. Either way, you want to see where the relationship is going, and you don’t want distance to get in the way. To make the best of your long distance relationship, we suggest these 7 practical ways to help make that (temporary) distance a mechanism to bring you closer.

 

  1. You spearhead constant communication.

Naturally, you and your long distance partner will share bigger life events, but it’s talking about the small stuff—the daily minutia—that will make your relationship feel “normal”. Ask the small talk questions and try to track the recurring characters. The goal is to get enough information so that you can hear updates without having to ask the who, what, or why each time.

 

  1. You make being accessible a top priority.

Work schedules and sleep schedules across different time zones can make connecting more difficult, but not impossible. A little bit of planning can bridge the gap.

  • Send What’s App messages before bed so that your partner can wake up with you.
  • Spend one lunch break, breakfast, or dinner together via skype. Yes, that’s right. Pull out the computer with your glass of red.
  • Download WhatsApp or Facebook messenger to avoid unnecessary costs associated with international messaging fees.

 

What it looks like: One client went for a 30 day meditation retreat in northern India. Although she prepped her partner well before her month-long departure, she sensed his skepticism and slight resentment over her plans. To bridge the gap and stay true to her break from technology, she wrote him a letter or post card almost every day detailing her thoughts and realizations. His inability to communicate back left much to be discussed upon her return. Instead of creating distance, the month apart ultimately brought them closer together.

 

  1. Try different types of communication.

Spice up your communication style with something new. Take a break from the texting or phone and opt for a video call. After so many texts, you can miss important nuances and forget the little personality quirks that make your partner unique. The point is to make distance seem more like a slight inconvenience than a real barrier. The phone calls will give you insight to tone and mood; the video chats will help you decipher the real emotion. Even snail mail might help you see a more serious, intentional emotional side.

 

  1. Be romantic.

You won’t be around to make her coffee or buy her flowers, so find new ways to make her feel loved. Coordinate a flower delivery—out of the blue—to show that yes, you value romance and will make that happen regularly once you’re together. Use this temporary time apart to provide a preview of coming attractions.

 

What it looks like: One client started dating a man shortly before he fielded a work assignment in Germany. Whereas she wasn’t interested in dating across continents, he had different plans. Shortly before Valentine’s Day, the man got in touch with the client’s closest friend to figure out the perfect romantic gesture. Together, they decided the client needed a anti-stress holiday. He reserved a hotel room and a spa day for both women and arranged for a bottle of champagne and cheese plate to be delivered shortly after they arrived. The thoughtfulness and surprise factor was all the client needed to wait out his return.

 

  1. Always have a meeting in the works.

To survive the hurdles of distance, it’s easier to have a goal—like a meeting that’s right around the corner. Have the next meeting in the works before you end up apart. Whether it’s a short trip or a long holiday, all that matters is that you two know you have definitive plans to be together.

 

  1. Get a credit card with travel perks.

It’s as obvious as it sounds, and yet lots of couples miss out on the perks. Find a card that pays you back in miles or upgrades or lounge visits. If you’re anticipating time apart, get a card that’s going to make it even easier to get together.

 

  1. And, finally, remember just how little time you’ll be apart in the grand scheme of things. Something special is worth the wait. If you’re meant to be together forever, one week, one month, or one year, will hardly matter. Linx has brought so many couples together who are separated by cities, states, and countries. Couples have navigated these waters by following the aforementioned tips and ultimately overcoming distance, to say “I Do!”  💍 ❤️

How to be yourself on a first date

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There’s a common misconception that dating is like interviewing. While both dating and interviewing tend to make people nervous, most people don’t enjoy being interrogated or talking exclusively about work on a first date. How do successful daters transition from formal work mode into a more relaxed dating mode? Here are some tips on how to be yourself on a first date.

Before the date

Research your date spot – If you have time, check out the date location a day or two before to get a feel for the setup, ambiance and menu. Identify the best tables in the bar or restaurant, determine which of your outfits would make you feel most comfortable in this location, and scan the menu ahead of time so you don’t have to worry about what you’ll want to order. If you are planning the date, pick a place you’ve been to many times before where you feel comfortable and confident. Your date will likely be impressed if you are on a first-name basis with the waiters.

Brush up on your date’s interests – If you have met your date through a matchmaker, friend or online dating service, you probably know a few of their interests. Do a quick Google search on their favorite sports team, the place where they volunteer or the location where they just went on a long trip. Having a few talking points on your date’s interests in your back pocket will ease your first date jitters and show them that you’re interested in getting to know them better.

Exercise – It’s hard not to be in a great mood after completing a solid workout while listening to your favorite energizing playlist. Make time to go for a run, pump iron or do a spin class before a first date to help you feel confident and refreshed. With endorphins flowing and a post-workout glow on your face, you will feel more relaxed after having burned off your nervous energy before the date. Let your date know that you just came from a workout, and they will probably appreciate your commitment to health and physical fitness. In addition to working out, or instead of it if working out isn’t your thing…

Do something you love – Do something that is SO YOU, whether that is getting fresh air at a farmer’s market, cooking something to feel accomplished, talking to a friend or relative, meditating and relaxing with a bath or book or watching your favorite movie. The possibilities are endless, but do something that makes you smile so you’re grounded in who you are before heading out. This will help the real you come out when you are face-to-face with your date.

 During the date

Be an engaged listener – Ask open-ended questions about travel, passions, family and what they did last weekend. “Tell me about yourself” is a great opener because it gives your date the opportunity to let you know what is most important to them. “Teach me something I don’t already know” is also a great way to learn about your date’s hidden talents. Ask questions about things you are genuinely interested in learning. And make sure that the conversation is not one-sided – if you have been asking your date a bunch of questions about their woodworking hobby, sit back and wait for him or her to ask you about yourself.

Give physical clues if you are interested – If you’re having a great time, make eye contact and consider innocently touching your date to let them know that you are attracted to them. Grazing your hand along your date’s lower back as you walk to your table or briefly touching their or arm after they make a funny joke will make your date feel comfortable and admired. Making great eye and physical contact during a first date lets your date know that you are interested in them and will help secure Date #2.

Be Vulnerable – Just because you don’t know a person well doesn’t mean that you should just nod and smile all night regardless of what’s going on in your head. Feeling anxious? Had a terrible day at work? Feeling butterflies? Worried about jumping into a new relationship so quickly after your last? Talk to your date about it. It’s more fulfilling to go on a first date with a real person than someone who doesn’t speak their mind. Vulnerability is sexy.

Be Flexible – Make a plan before your date, but be ready to throw it out the window depending on how things are going. If the date is going well, consider grabbing dinner even though you planned on drinks, or propose going on a long walk even if you planned on seeing a movie. Whether or not you planned the date, the proposed itinerary is merely a suggestion, and you should do what feels right in the moment. Dating is not a math problem to be solved – you need to feel your way through it stay true to yourself.

Most importantly, remember to to enjoy yourself and keep in mind how lucky your date is to be spending time with you. If you have a great time on the date, let your date know in person or in a text or call after you get home. Before, during and after a first date, be honest, be real, be yourself.

 

Sashay Your Way Over To Chronicle Nights….

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With summer quickly approaching, it’s time to mingle and head over to Silicon Valley’s newest late night venue. The Four Seasons Hotel Silicon Valley invites guests to turn back the hands of time with “Chronicle Nights” when neither IPOs or the speed of one’s internet mattered. 😉  Starting May 29th through August 29th, from 9PM – 1AM, Quattro will have live music (Friday’s only), classic cocktails, and a festive vintage ambiance take over.

Every Friday, guests are invited to bring their business cards for a chance to win a staycation at the hotel.  The drawing will take place at 10:00 PM and the winner must be present to win the prize.

As an extra bonus for Linx followers, mention the password “LINX” to the host. In doing so, you are eligible to put two business cards in the raffle and increase your chances of winning the must anticipated staycation! Cheers!

Announcing a new search for a handsome 28-year old gentleman….

Easy-going and confidentOur client is an adventurous and exceptionally well-rounded 28-year old Caucasian man who is a total catch in every way. He is brand new on the dating scene and is not one to put himself online or tinker with apps – he just doesn’t have the inclination or the time and furthermore seeks the utmost quality match to complement his life.

Physically, he stands 6’4”, with an athletic build, short brown hair, pale blue eyes, and has a preppy sense of style. His smile is effortless and eyes twinkle when he speaks. Fitness and health are very important to him – he enjoys crossfit, hiking, soccer, skiing, and playing lacrosse when he has the time. He’s a former cowboy who worked on a ranch in Montana when he was younger and still finds enjoyment in riding horses to relax.

Our client’s professional and academic career have taken him down some very diverse paths including recently having returned from serving as an officer in the Marine Corps, completing deployments to Afghanistan and the Western Pacific. He’s currently working in finance and will begin an MBA in the fall.  He’s driven, goal oriented, and successful, yet very humble.

His eclectic past has taught him to adapt quickly and to be comfortable in a variety of environments. He enjoys everything from seeing plays, to strolling through museums, river rafting, camping, all sports, and even dabbling in woodworking. He’s a family guy who was raised in a loving home and looks to his parents as role models of marital success.  He’d love to have a partner to travel with, and is eager to keep filing up his passport. While he can be lost in the kitchen, he shares he makes a great sous chef and is adept at firing up the grill.

You will find him to be a natural born leader, organized, and confident. He’s social but not the life-of-the-party and has an easy-going calm way about him. What is most impressive is that this is “his time” to find the woman of his dreams. While he’s been awarded medals and ribbons with valor for heroic actions during his combat operations, at the end of the day, family is most important to him and that means the missing piece in his life is finding the girl of his dreams with whom to settle down.

Our bachelor is looking for a young woman who is between the ages of 24 and 32, where 28 is the ideal age. Since he’s blessed with height, she is ideally taller with an ideal height of 5’8” (but he’s open to a wider range). He responds positively to femininity, naturally pretty women, who have longer hair of any color, and are slender to athletic, with some nice curves. His dream girl is stylish, enjoys the outdoors, and keeps healthy like he does. She can work in any industry and have any title but the key is to be passionate and love what she does! She must be social, very family oriented, spunky, caring, happy, fun, and confident enough to call him out at times! Wallflowers need not apply!

If you or anyone you know make a great potential match for our dreamy bachelor, please contact Amy at amy@linxdating.com

America wants to hear from you!

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I wanted to get a post up as soon as possible to announce some creative media projects we are currently working on both domestically and internationally right now.

These are all high-end TV related projects and documentaries about the Silicon Valley ecosystem and what makes this a mecca for some of the sharpest minds in the world, a breeding ground for multi-billion dollar ideas, and a hot spot for dating!

I am looking for a handful of professional men and women who are somehow involved with Linx (i.e., a client, a prospect, attends Link & Drink events, general fan, etc). and who would be willing to share their story about navigating the dating scene in the Silicon Valley and beyond. Your input would be extremely valuable and help make a very compelling story.

One of these is a local story on how toxic and unhealthy loneliness can be, the other is a national story (extremely high-end) on the SV ecosystem, and the other is an international news piece on the valley and the movers/shakers that make up this vibrant community.

For entrepreneurs, business owners, etc this could be incredible exposure for you on a professional level! On a personal level, you never know “who” will watch and email us at Linx wanting to meet YOU! Everyone has something to share on some level. In fact, pretty much everyone I have ever sat down with has joked “Amy I could write a book at this point about dating!” So please don’t be shy, email me to inquire more…

Please send me an email to: amy@linxdating.com

Thank you Linx readers! XO

What’s Happening in Silicon Valley & Beyond

Silicon Valley and the world is buzzing with last week’s FB acquisition of WhatsApp for 19BB! That’s right, 19BB – each founder is walking away with approximately 4BB. Talk about a nice payday.

WhatsApp has been around 5 years and is the most popular messaging app for smartphones. It is believed that the WhatsApp acquisition will secure Facebook’s already leading position in the crowded messaging world.1392860067000-GTY-470487009

Last week I had the pleasure of being treated to an amazing night at the exclusive and chic Battery in San Francisco by three amazing, awe-inspiring male clients. These guys all referred one another into Linx, were co-founders of a tech company together, and have had great experiences with Linx, choosing it as another strategic option in their arsenal of dating resources.

They commiserated about how the scene is tough for guys, that filtering online profiles is extremely time consuming, and how they are committed to making 2014 “their year” to each find the woman of his dreams. These good solid guys are late 20’s to early 30’s, each super fascinating.

I ran into a ton of familiar faces at The Battery – former and current clients, friends, and new connections. Definitely a who’s-who sort of establishment – folks having dinner, people drinking late into the night upstairs, playing cards, and encouraged not to talk about work…in fact, no photos are allowed (that’s right, not even “selfies”…man, I loathe that expression!), and the membership is curated to bring together like-minded influencers from all sorts of unique backgrounds – many not in tech. Computer use and business talk is discouraged in favor of discussions about the arts, current affairs, culture, and travel. 628x471 Photo: Ken Fulk, Inc.

The five-level, 58,000-square-foot club at 717 Battery Street is a very unique one-of-a-kind elite club-designed by Ken Fulk and with the most spectacular interior filled with modern art, sculptures, terraces, restaurants, a wine cellar, and much more. This impressive establishment is the creation of Michael and Xochi Birch. This cool couple sold the social networking site Bebo to AOL for $850 million in 2008 and later were inspired by the private social clubs of London as they conceptualized The Battery. I encourage you to tap your network of friends to see “who” might be members and ask a friend to check it out….

Whirlwind week!

Monday and Tuesday of this week consisted of over 20 interviews of women who had submitted their info to meet our VIPs. These screenings give me a good read on any “standouts” who might make an exceptional match for any client of ours who has given me the authority to search everywhere for his match. Each week I get hundreds of submissions from women who are single, searching, and want to apply to meet a VIP. We hold regular castings to interview the ones we feel might have that “it” factor.

This week we met such impressive, candid, intelligent, and really “have their sh*t together” sort of women. Unfortunately we can’t represent everyone we meet but are currently in the process of selecting a few gems who are excellent matches for our current clients. The other lovely women, who graciously took time from their busy lives to meet Aimi and I, who are not a match for someone at this exact moment will remain in the Linx database. We encourage everyone who is not a match right now to check back in a couple of months. This is about “inventory” – supply and demand.

Today I’ve received a ton of “thank you” emails from the various candidates we met.  They really made me feel good about what we accomplished and I would like to share some of the excerpts here:

You guys have great energy and I giggled all the way home:)

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share and converse with you.

It was truly a pleasure! You ladies are very classy and truly know your stuff!

Sometimes dating can be difficult, stressful, and even depressing…I really appreciate your insight and perspective, thanks for sharing some of your tips.

Today I did a photo shoot with celebrity photographer Justin Coit who shot my Vanity Fair photo shoot back in August 2012. Justin is extremely talented and mostly does celebs in LA (including a lot of work with Rachel Zoe)…so getting him (with his assistant of choice named Pepe) to fly up to the Silicon Valley for the day is beyond lucky.  Check out Justin’s blog entry about the Linx shoot for Vanity Fair…http://justincoit.com/vanity-fair

The story is for a European magazine called MYSELF which is a Condé Nast publication. A journalist named Anne Philippi who is a former writer for Rolling Stone and GQ flew up from LA a few weeks ago to spend after afternoon at Linx getting to know me and the unique cottage industry of matchmaking in Silicon Valley.i-4jnVJCF-XL

From the shoot today…this is my hubbie’s shot he got quickly in between Justin’s. Peplum dress Ted Baker and semi precious necklace from Bella Rosa in Los Gatos. Pepe next to me with light diffuser. Priceless.

My morning started bright and early with hair and makeup at my house.  Today, my hair stylist, Jaye, added temporary extensions for the shoot which was fun….extra hair is heavy to “carry around” on your head all day!  Makeup was in a similar elegant style to VF thanks to Bianca. I headed to downtown Palo Alto to Cafe Epi (had never been) on University where I did a quick change of clothes (according to what Justin suggested I wear for the first look) and followed his guidance. Thank goodness celebrity stylist, Hasti Khashfia, pulled together some great looks for me with less than 8 hours notice by me. Hasti styled me for VF and works regularly with Randi Zuckerberg.

We spent over two hours on University Avenue getting shots of me walking, fake talking on the mobile, fake typing on the computer, and sipping a nonfat cap (while drooling over the yummy colorful macaroons he bought for the shoot.) In the middle of some shots, his assistant Pepe squealed all of a sudden. He had been so quiet up until that point. I inquired what happened?! Get this…apparently some elderly man had walked by and pinched Pepe’s derriere while Pepe was holding a photography umbrella to diffuse the strong outdoor light! Who honestly knew SUCH scandalous behavior happened in the broad daylight in Palo Alto, on University Avenue, outside a cafe…from a man in his late 70’s no less! Wowza! I guess Pepe was flattered? 😉

Afterwards we followed my husband around town in our separate cars trying to locate some great views of the Silicon Valley for a second round of afternoon shots and we decided the Stanford Dish would be best. We all took an hour break and then reconvened there.  Pepe met me at the base of the Dish and literally was my sherpa, carrying a garment bag and tote up the massive hill to the second location that Justin had found. What a gentleman! Picture me schlepping up the vertical climb in sneaks with my extensions and outfit on and Pepe hunched over with my crap.

Breathless, we arrived at the top of the peak and the guys found the optimal light and angle for a new series of gorgeous photos. It’s a little challenging, let me tell you, having to do a clothing change in broad daylight with strangers trekking up the dish with googly eyes wondering “what” is going on. I owned it and just rolled with it not caring if a teenage boy with his mom saw my exposed bra or awkward facial expression of a hee hee hee yeah this is me in nature changing into a dress here right now so turn your head thanks. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gots to do…right?!

Justin is such a great photographer and director because he makes the experience painless and guides you. It is effortless and becomes much easier to get through because of his skill, direction, eagle eye, creativity, humor, and professionalism. vf_05_Party_0916-785x1200One of Justin’s pictures unreleased till now from the VF shoot in August. Look at my stunning girlfriend Renee in black and the legs on the gorgeous guest next to her!vf_05_Party_1358-1350x922Another Justin Coit pic from the VF party. My husband looks too cute! vf_04-Office2_0763_v32-889x1200And my pic Justin took from the VF shoot in August….love the richness of all the colors. Dress is Ted Baker styled by Hasti Kashfia

Tomorrow we have more footage we need to get for another media piece with ABC News 7. I have arranged for my client George to have a coffee date in the morning with a lovely Danish woman who has graciously agreed to participate in this piece. After that wraps, I need to catch up on emails big time….being away from the office doing media projects makes the emails pile up on one another.  Friday I have a new VIP coming on board, which is fantastic. If the weather permits, I think we’ll do our meeting over lunch al fresco.

My days are literally never alike and there are always a wide range of emotions as well. From one couple that is elated at meeting one another reporting back with rave reviews for feedback, to not so great news like breakups. I really feel my clients’ pain when they go through hard times and sometimes end their Linx relationships. I think breakups are definitely one of “the” most difficult aspects of my job that I never look forward to – especially as I am always rooting on the sidelines as their biggest fans when they are coupled up.  It’s kind of like I am breaking up with them if that makes sense. We’ve so invested in this process together.

Now I can’t wait to kick my feet up for the night and just spend time with my husband and son (pup) whom I feel like I’ve been neglecting this week. We call it parachuting in and out of the home life. This week I’ve been so tethered to work that I have been parachuted out of my family time for a lot of it but luckily for me have parachuted back in…at least for tonight to catch up on those nearest and dearest to my heart.

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