Matchmaker to Silicon Valley elite

7 Practical Ways to Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work

 

iStock-925386886 copy 2.jpgMaybe you’ve met someone on vacation or you’ve decided to look for love in more than one (local) place—and found it. Either way, you want to see where the relationship is going, and you don’t want distance to get in the way. To make the best of your long distance relationship, we suggest these 7 practical ways to help make that (temporary) distance a mechanism to bring you closer.

 

  1. You spearhead constant communication.

Naturally, you and your long distance partner will share bigger life events, but it’s talking about the small stuff—the daily minutia—that will make your relationship feel “normal”. Ask the small talk questions and try to track the recurring characters. The goal is to get enough information so that you can hear updates without having to ask the who, what, or why each time.

 

  1. You make being accessible a top priority.

Work schedules and sleep schedules across different time zones can make connecting more difficult, but not impossible. A little bit of planning can bridge the gap.

  • Send What’s App messages before bed so that your partner can wake up with you.
  • Spend one lunch break, breakfast, or dinner together via skype. Yes, that’s right. Pull out the computer with your glass of red.
  • Download WhatsApp or Facebook messenger to avoid unnecessary costs associated with international messaging fees.

 

What it looks like: One client went for a 30 day meditation retreat in northern India. Although she prepped her partner well before her month-long departure, she sensed his skepticism and slight resentment over her plans. To bridge the gap and stay true to her break from technology, she wrote him a letter or post card almost every day detailing her thoughts and realizations. His inability to communicate back left much to be discussed upon her return. Instead of creating distance, the month apart ultimately brought them closer together.

 

  1. Try different types of communication.

Spice up your communication style with something new. Take a break from the texting or phone and opt for a video call. After so many texts, you can miss important nuances and forget the little personality quirks that make your partner unique. The point is to make distance seem more like a slight inconvenience than a real barrier. The phone calls will give you insight to tone and mood; the video chats will help you decipher the real emotion. Even snail mail might help you see a more serious, intentional emotional side.

 

  1. Be romantic.

You won’t be around to make her coffee or buy her flowers, so find new ways to make her feel loved. Coordinate a flower delivery—out of the blue—to show that yes, you value romance and will make that happen regularly once you’re together. Use this temporary time apart to provide a preview of coming attractions.

 

What it looks like: One client started dating a man shortly before he fielded a work assignment in Germany. Whereas she wasn’t interested in dating across continents, he had different plans. Shortly before Valentine’s Day, the man got in touch with the client’s closest friend to figure out the perfect romantic gesture. Together, they decided the client needed a anti-stress holiday. He reserved a hotel room and a spa day for both women and arranged for a bottle of champagne and cheese plate to be delivered shortly after they arrived. The thoughtfulness and surprise factor was all the client needed to wait out his return.

 

  1. Always have a meeting in the works.

To survive the hurdles of distance, it’s easier to have a goal—like a meeting that’s right around the corner. Have the next meeting in the works before you end up apart. Whether it’s a short trip or a long holiday, all that matters is that you two know you have definitive plans to be together.

 

  1. Get a credit card with travel perks.

It’s as obvious as it sounds, and yet lots of couples miss out on the perks. Find a card that pays you back in miles or upgrades or lounge visits. If you’re anticipating time apart, get a card that’s going to make it even easier to get together.

 

  1. And, finally, remember just how little time you’ll be apart in the grand scheme of things. Something special is worth the wait. If you’re meant to be together forever, one week, one month, or one year, will hardly matter. Linx has brought so many couples together who are separated by cities, states, and countries. Couples have navigated these waters by following the aforementioned tips and ultimately overcoming distance, to say “I Do!”  💍 ❤️

Linx in Newsweek | Beware of Geeks Bearing Gifs

By: Sean Elder

It’s Saturday night at The Sea (“Home of the $57 halibut!”), which is perched on the border between Palo Alto and Mountain View, and anyone new here might think there’s a big gay scene in Silicon Valley. Guys outnumber women about five to one at this high-end restaurant tonight and many of the men are dining together. But they do not seem together in that sense: Most are looking or tapping intently at their Androids or iPhones – both are in equal evidence, given the restaurant’s proximity to both Google and Apple headquarters. The work never stops here, which in the high-octane world of high-tech start-ups is the same as saying the fun never stops: Work is fun in Silicon Valley. Unless your idea of fun is dating.

“The odds are good, but the goods are odd” is the lament of many single women here. Kate Greer, a Stanford grad who lived and dated in Silicon Valley for many years says, “I love to watch women who would have never looked at these guys in high school or college” suddenly circling the big fish in the tiny tech pond. “It’s sweet to watch [them] falling in love with the biggest nerd in the room – that guy who looks like that little chicken with the big glasses in the Foghorn Leghorn cartoons.”

Of the countless success stories in Silicon Valley none looms larger than Elon Musk: PayPal co-founder, electric car inventor, lunar travel entrepreneur. Director Jon Favreau says Musk was the model for Robert Downey’s Tony Stark in the Iron Man movies and the enigmatic South African certainly works and plays like a superhero, if not a movie star. According to a Bloomberg Businessweek profile he has had one vacation in four years, taking time out to divorce his second wife, the actress Talulah Riley, in August 2012. “I would like to allocate more time to dating,” Musk said before asking the reporter. “How much time does a woman want a week? Maybe 10 hours?”

The environment of many tech companies is still notoriously frat-like and not necessarily conducive to what most people consider grown-up mating rituals. “The culture at these companies for 20- and even early 30-somethings is not unlike the dorm experience at a top university,” says Amy Andersen, founder and CEO of Linx Dating Service in Menlo Park. “Project teams bond over what they do all day…. It’s more about living to work than it is about working to live, and so you do everything together.”

Andersen came to her calling after a disastrous date with a very eligible venture capitalist 10 years ago. When she asked her date why he was scoping out the other women in the place, he said he was looking for “the BBD” – the bigger, better deal. While you can’t necessarily teach people class, she does try to enlighten her clients (for a fee that ranges from $20,000 to $100,000) about proper dating behavior. Andersen recalls a 20-something coder at a gaming company with extreme social anxiety: She had to coach him on hugging, and she suggested a car service for his first date, rather than having him show up on the bike he rides to work.

Some liken the atmosphere, and the romances that blossom in it, to that of a film set – though with a much longer shoot. “There’s a sort of youthful exuberance in Silicon Valley,” says Greer. “The youthful exuberance is what makes you think you can do something out of nothing. To know that you can take code and make beautiful things that change the world, you have to have youthful exuberance. If you want to have a serious husband with a suit on, go marry a biz dev guy.”

The biggest challenge in the Silicon Valley dating game may lie in the personalities that dominate the field. Left-brain Spock types can’t so quickly channel their inner Bones and let loose with a barbaric yawp. “My highly educated and analytical clientele often apply the same methodology to their dating that made them successful in their careers,” says Andersen, “and that does not always work, because here we are dealing with matters of the heart.”

As more women become engineers, the dynamics of dating in Silicon Valley are bound to change. Adam Hertz, an engineer at Comcast, has “been off the market for a while,” but his kids, in their 20s, are in the demo: His son, who works at Google, met his partner at a SantaCon event in San Francisco. “They both work really hard,” he says. “Once they are together, they have to work at the relationship.” His daughter is in the next wave: She is in a program studying to be a “great software developer,” 70 hours a week. Her boyfriend is in the food business, delivering produce in the Bay Area’s booming restaurant business. “They never see each other at all.”
© Copyright 2013 IBT Media Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Are you a Match? | Recruiting!

This week we are looking for eligible candidates for the following clients of Linx. This is a random sampling of a few male clients we are currently focusing efforts on.  If you might qualify and/or know anyone who is eligible and searching for that elusive chemistry, ping me asap amy@linxdating.com. Please mention the profile that sparks your interest and why you might make a perfect match.Stanford-by-gellert.varga-at-Flickr

CLIENT ONE:
 
Our client is in his late 30’s, Caucasian, 6’0″, athletic and very active working out at least 5 days a week. He is very cute, fit, and has a full head of brown hair. Extremely well educated (including post graduate), he is a leader in his field. As an executive at his company and serial entrepreneur/investor, he works a lot and throws his passion into running his ultra successful tech company. Confident, charming, optimistic, happy, well rounded, and social best describe this Silicon Valley based gentleman. He is a total monogamist and is ready to find the love of his life. Religion wise, he is Jewish and while he embraces all religions, would love his match to be open-minded to embracing Judaism in marriage (not to say his dream girl needs to convert for love). 
 
Our client needs someone who is truly ready for a relationship and a non-game player. This client works a lot and at the end of the day wants to come home to someone who will pour her all into building a loving and passionate relationship. She is not someone who can only see her man every other week because she is on the road for work 24/7 or dating like 15 other guys. You are in your 20’s to 30 max. Why the age range as such? He wants a few babies and to not have to rush into planning for this with pressure. You are petite/slender, fit, pretty, natural, keep healthy, and radiate a wonderful happy aura about you. You are warm, social, classy, sincere, optimistic, generous, very loving, and family-oriented.  
 
Our client loves the Silicon Valley and desires living here. Although he considers himself a citizen of the world (traveled to over 65 countries!), his entreprenrial roots are here and hopes you will build a happy life with him here as well. tumblr_le7ozxYeOl1qbvoj8o1_500
 
CLIENT TWO:
 
Our client is in his late 20’s, Caucasian, stocky (buff) in his build and works out with a trainer to keep active and balanced. He’s super cute, stylish, and Italian in heritage. Extremely well educated from a top university for undergraduate, he was an early employee at a well known tech company. What we admire so much about our client is how down-to-earth, fun, and the sort of guy’s guy who is up for pretty much anything, anytime. He’s quite social and loves maintaining great friendships with a lot of his college buddies. He enjoys entertaining, travel, concerts, sports, football, and much more. Although he is young, he is looking for someone to compliment his already amazing life and establish a loving relationship where good communication is paramount.
 
His match is in her 20’s, any ethnicity, petite, super bubbly, and feminine. Friends would describe her as sweet, family centric, confident, affectionate, and maybe a little traditional. Our client loves his job, so you should be happy what you are doing with your job. He’s not very tolerant of girls who hate their gig and never seem to do anything about it. If you are Catholic or Christian, that is the icing on the cake. Like him, his match is just a chill, fun, easy going girl with very low drama in her life. She’s independent yet ready for a leading, masculine guy to compliment her wonderful life. silicon_valley
CLIENT THREE:
 
Our client is in his mid 30’s, Caucasian, fit, toned, and 6’3″. He’s sporty and active, working out 5 days a week on average. His sense of style is a little more conservative…definitely not the Etro or John Varvatos type. He is very well educated including having his MBA from a good local university and he works in technology (like a lot of our clients) and is an executive at a public company. He’s a responsible sort of guy, living and working in the Silicon Valley and already planning for the future as a proud homeowner. He was raised Catholic and would like to bring Catholicism into his marriage and family one day. Our client is shy by nature and more on the introverted side. The right girl will have the ability to make him feel comfortable and relaxed to simply just be himself without any pretense. 
 
His match is Caucasian, cute, and active. She is late 20’s to early 30’s and family oriented. She can visualize getting engaged and married in the next 16 months or so! She has a job but her job doesn’t define her entire world and she can imagine not working one day and being a stay-at-home with the children. There is a feeling of fulfillment that our client would achieve in having the role of “breadwinner” and having his wife manage all domestic duties and responsibilities. His leading lady is social (would enjoy planning all social things ), be friendly, very nurturing, and have a loving heart. She’s a good girl, maybe had one, two, or three boyfriends but not a slew of ’em.
 
 


This week in perspective

This week has been incredibly busy for us at Linx.   Yesterday we had screening appointments and interviews. Today I am catching up on zillions of emails and gearing up for a busy day tomorrow with prospect screening (one gorgeous girl flying up from LA to meet us, amongst other great candidates.) Rumor is the CNN piece that was filmed in December should be airing at the end of the month as well.

Amidst all of the client appointments, I spend hours each day contemplating how to respond and subsequently responding to a lot of the intense emails I get. Linx clients know they can speak to me about anything dating-related and often do, in a very private manner. poets-love-letters-2fb287a0597e9e01
I take each email I receive seriously and try to give each one my undivided attention and careful thought. It’s funny when a lot of finance types of friends or VC clients ask me how I will “scale” the business. I explain it is precisely this nature of the business which makes it virtually impossible. I can’t farm out my emails to some virtual admin in Sri Lanka or just hit the delete button on these. These emails require MY knowledge, history of the client (and often their match) and my expertise in helping them outline a good strategy.

Not every email and phone call I receive are peaches and cream, happy go lucky….they concern real, everyday things that can cause turbulence (sometimes light and passing quickly, all the way to intense and persistent) along a couple’s journey of discovery that determines whether or not they are meant to be.

Sometimes a match just is not meant to be after the couple really gives it their all. Sadly, in some cases, one gives it their all or really wants it to happen but the other just isn’t feeling it, so it burns out. This causes confusion, anxiety, frustration, and sometimes a feeling of hopelessness.

This is a business of real human emotions, after all. You all are putting SO much into this process and really do give it your all. Sometimes we both realize in our emails and phone call strategy sessions that chemistry can’t be manufactured and you can’t force something that just isn’t meant to be. That is hard to grasp and often requires taking time off from dating to just breathe and get a balanced perspective back.

If this is something you have experienced, I encourage you to write a reflections list of what worked in your past relationship and didn’t. In other words, those characteristics that you would like to see repeated again and those that would be best to avoid. modelcasting-560x373
On a separate note, the demand to meet “VIP” clients has really sky rocketed in the last 6 months. My assistant and I are hosting a casting day February 7-8th in Palo Alto to screen the women who have submitted their information to our company over the last few months. This casting opportunity is a way to come out and meet the Linx ladies and to see if each girl has the right look and personality to be matched to our VIPs. It’s been so popular that this event is now officially sold out! As such, we will be doing another mini meet and greet casting day in mid-March.

And on the VIP note, with Valentine’s around the corner some prospect VIPs from Oct-Dec 2012 timeframe who needed to “wait” and “see” if they wanted to do Linx have resurfaced and are joining in the next few weeks. Exciting times for all.

I keep bumping into Linx couples out and about which I love! It happened again this past Saturday at a restaurant in Los Altos. My former client and his wife literally jumped up with excitement and surprise as they walked by our table and I shouted their names.

In closing, we will also be posting some fabulous and flirty looks for Valentine’s with the help of our friends from Tog + Porter in the next week or so.
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Puppy pic from when Marshall was on his way home from the SPCA

With Cougar Night In Hibernation, Where Else Can You Romance A Rich VC?

SiliconBeat | What’s next in tech

by: Peter Delevett

As I wrote this weekend, the weekly meat market at Menlo Park’s Rosewood Hotel known as “Cougar Night” was markedly toned down last Thursday, and at least one regular attributed it to a recent (bogus) blog post claiming Palo Alto vice cops had busted “several prominent Sand Hill venture capital executives” for soliciting prostitution.

While it may be too soon to write Cougar Night’s obit, if things continue to be subdued at the Rosewood’s swanky Madera lounge, it would raise the question as to just where enterprising ladies (or lads) can troll for a moneybags tech investor.

We asked Amy Andersen, founder and CEO of Menlo Park-based matchmaking service Linx Dating, where else the lovelorn might go looking for some VC action. Here are her ideas.

1. Restaurant 3000, 3000 Sand Hill Road (Conveniently located near the Rosewood!)

2. Black Rock Desert, NV, “where the VCs do rocketry on a big scale.” (Note: It gives you an excuse to troop out there without waiting until next year’s Burning Man.)

3. Village Pub, Woodside

5. Whitefish, Montana. (Added bonus: You can visit the home of the very tasty Black Star Lager.)
6. The Maker Faire festival of innovation. (Gotta wait til next year, or you can head to the New York event later this month.)
7. Mazda Raceway Laguna Seca’s Ferrari racing days or Ferrari Challenge.
8. Stanford University alumni events. (Be sure to pick up a cardinal sweater.)
9. “Board games like Settlers of Catan are big with techies. They host nights at their homes … so you gotta learn the game and get invited.”
10. Madera at the Rosewood Sand Hill –  for breakfast. “Get there at 7 am for the movers and shakers.” (Hey baby, buy you a mimosa?)
I’d add a few more to Amy’s list: the Sharon Park StarbucksCoupa Cafe in downtown Palo Alto; and, of course, the venerable Buck’s Woodside, which master of the house Jamis MacNiven told me last week is as busy as ever. Then again, the open seating plan at Buck’s isn’t exactly conducive to tawdry tête-à-têtes.
What about you? Where else do you go to meet venture capitalists — either for flings, or for funding?

Our feature medley of songs for this entry is Copacabana Deep by Paulo Arruda.