Our client is 52-years old, Caucasian, and clean cut with a full head of dark hair. He stands 6’2” and has a solid athletic build, largely owed to his long-standing track record of participating in competitive sports (during which he has won multiple accolades!). Born in San Francisco, this gentleman was raised in a modest, North Bay country town where he spent time on the ranch, learned the value of perseverance, and developed his confidence and entrepreneurial attitude. Carrying these virtues throughout his life, he now resides in an elegant, gated golf course community in the San Francisco Bay Area.
By day, he is an accomplished plastic surgeon and has founded one of the finest medical centers in the country – here, in his own hospital, he cares for patients and sees clients from all over the world. He is also an angel investor and strategic advisor, and companies in his field frequently seek his expertise and help in business development and commercialization of new medical devices. He also serves as a C-level executive for a public company in the aesthetic industry, where he is able to creatively further his passions – from dreaming up new technologies to developing them, testing for FDA approval, and even launching, our client is a man who is able to wear many hats. In fact, he also serves as the Chair of the Board for an organization that is working to provide a local athletic program for underprivileged youth, which he finds very personally fulfilling.
Despite a packed professional schedule, our client has nights, weekends, and holidays off (except for the occasional business dinner or social/professional event). Making sure to protect his personal time, he starts the weekend at noon on Fridays by hopping in his plane and jetting off for a weekend adventure! Frequent destinations include his vacation homes in Lake Tahoe and the Coachella Valley, but air trips anywhere are often spontaneous: Sedona, Bend, Vegas, Seattle, Scottsdale, SoCal, the world is your oyster! He is also a fantastic cook and loves to host holiday gatherings with family and friends. Did we mention that he also makes Napa wine?
For him, family is a priority – both yours and his. Though he unfortunately lost his father who was an influential figure in his life, he is still very close with his mom. Nowadays, he is an empty nester with two kids in college (20 and 18 years old), though he spent many years coaching his kids’ sports teams and loved to be the “cool dad” who hosted massive slumber parties (often with more than 25 kids at a time!).
Our client is stable, dependable, and driven. He has faced significant adversity in his life and has always taken it as an opportunity to better himself – he is a rock and has a rather grounding presence. He is affectionate, easygoing, and loves to tease and laugh. He is also highly intellectual, practical, well-read, and quite the expert on a variety of topics, with outstanding focus, determination, and off-the-chart efficiency. He has traditional values, a strong central core, and considers himself deeply spiritual, though he is not religious. In this vein, he realizes that we are one and that the future is bright, despite the challenging circumstances of our current reality.
His ideal match is 28-48 years old, well-educated, accomplished, and has demonstrated excellence in some capacity. Ideally, she is Caucasian, European, or Latina, and like him, she doesn’t sweat the small stuff and would rather share a good laugh than act combative. She is warm, affectionate, and fun! She prefers to be present and fully enjoy amazing activities together, rather than being wrapped up in documenting it for other people. She is elegant, poised, and always classy, naturally inspiring envy in others at professional and more sophisticated events. She is dignified and respectable with few regrets. She is fit, slender, and stunning with classic, natural beauty: polished but not overdone, all-American, drop-dead gorgeous girl-next- door, perhaps a bit exotic or unique.
Most of all, she is secure and confident in herself. She also has traditional values and rejects entitlement in life, understanding that the more you generously give, the more you get. She is adaptable and not pretentious; like our client, she enjoys sophistication as much as down-to-earth activities like sporting events, family get-togethers, outdoor BBQs, and just hanging out by the pool. She is grounded, stable, leads a clean life, and is not easily distracted by negative external influences. She recognizes that life has a way of throwing out challenges when you least expect it, but she values that he will always have her back, as she does his. In a partner, she is looking for a strong, traditional, and caring alpha, rather than a more modern, disorganized, man-child pajama boy.
If you or anyone you know might make the perfect match for this VIP, please submit your information here. There are NO fees for qualified candidates to meet our client.
As cities around the country and the world go into coronavirus lockdown, your search for love doesn’t have to shelter in place. In fact, being in quarantine is a great opportunity to look inward to ask yourself what qualities you really want in a partner and is a chance to prepare yourself for a relationship once the quarantine ends.
Cultivating solitude and embracing it to find love
For naturally social creatures, getting locked into our homes with no end date can be tough to navigate, even for those of us with high levels of immunity to loneliness.
To make peace with solitude, scientists recommend reframing the loneliness.
Reed Larson, professor of human development and family studies at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign found that solitude is like “a medicine which tastes bad, but leaves one more healthy in the long run,” that creates more positive emotions and less self-reported depression down the line. Susan Cain, author of the book Quiet, says “solitude is a crucial and underrated ingredient of creativity.” This time of social distance is the perfect opportunity to get close with solitude.
So, how is solitude relevant to finding a partner?
Researchers Christopher Long and James Averill write that time alone allows us to order our priorities according to what we need, rather than the needs of others. Solitude is a powerful experience that allows us to prioritize what we want in our relationships.
Start by asking yourself the following:
- Am I listening closely to what I want?
- How much do I weigh what my friends or family want for me?
- What story does my dating life tell?
If answering these questions feels confusing, you’re not alone; isolation can make it difficult to experience clarity, but hang in there and don’t let this opportunity slip away.
Sherry Turkle, researcher and the founder of the MIT Initiative on Technology and Self talks about our apprehension towards embracing solitude in her Ted talk: “The moment that people are alone, even for a few seconds, they become anxious, they panic, they fidget, they reach for a device. Just think of people at a checkout line or at a red light.”
Turkle goes on to urge people to create sacred spaces to embrace solitude, where you don’t get distracted or reach for your phone—such as an hour in the morning or lunchtime in between your remote conference calls. It can be over a quiet cup of tea, a soak in a hot epsom salt bath, or whatever else might work for you.
That said, even once you’ve had a chance for solitude, your mind might still not be the easiest place to dwell. Past relationships and other noise can make it impossible to ask ourselves the questions we need to answer before continuing the search for a loving partner.
Consulting with a matchmaker can help bring focus into the equation. Not only can we be a sounding board to get clarity on what those relationship priorities are, we’ll be able to jumpstart your love life once social restrictions are lifted.
Building connection amidst quarantine
If you were already dating before the quarantine, you’ll need to get creative to build and sustain the connection.
- Host a remote movie date. Netflix just released their Netflix Party Chrome extension that lets you watch “Netflix remotely with friends, e.g. for movie nights with that long-distance special someone. It synchronizes video playback and adds group chat.” Should pair well with a quarantine.
- Take a (virtual) museum stroll. Google Arts & Culture has partnered with some of the world’s most popular museums to give patrons a chance to see art and exhibits through their computer screens. The virtual tour might not be the most ideal, but you’ll get some brownie points for creativity.
- Spend a night at the opera. The Met is live streaming their operas each day. Of course you’d be more inclined to watch from the first row balcony, but desperate times call for alternative seating.
- Try a new (love) language. With quality time and physical touch on hold, give acts of service and words of affirmation a try. Support your favorite local restaurant and get a meal delivered. Check in frequently with texts and calls—don’t skimp on showing appreciation.
And if you’re combining social distance with long distance, then be sure to check out my practical tips on making long distance work.
As always, I am here to support you! Consider scheduling a virtual matchmaking session to get the process started. Once quarantine is over, you’ll be ready to mingle with some of the most eligible singles from around the world!
-Our client is 32 years old
-Canadian citizen/ Grew up in Canada and spent considerable time in Asia.
-Bi-continental lifestyle. Bilingual English + Chinese
-Unique upbringing, in-depth understanding of both cultures
-Currently residing in Canada
-Will be mostly based between Bay Area + Los Angeles + NYC post-Covid travel restrictions
-Graduated from top tier university
-Never married and does not have children
-Our client is a knock-out physically
-5’5” -Slender hourglass figure and very feminine
-Long brunette hair with accents of highlights
-Stylish and classy
-Keeps in shape with daily fitness
Hobbies and Lifestyle:
-Scuba diving (open water diver)
-Classical music, fine arts, Broadway shows
-Animal and nature lover
-Loves to cook Chinese food and dining in general
-Looks forward to designing and decorating a home with her husband one day
-Our client is an entrepreneur running her own dynamic business
-She enjoys surrounding herself by individuals that can talk about global affairs, world economics, history and politics
– Although our client runs her own business, she’s looking for a masculine alpha man to balance her strong feminine energy
– She is extremely nurturing and in a relationship wants to adhere to more traditional gender roles celebrating the male/female dichotomy
– Our client is best described as super genuine, loving, with a warm heart, introspective, smart, and possessing strong family values
-She’s FUN, passionate and definitely the glass is half full mentality
-Not into drama
Who is her match:
-In a nutshell, this man is in his 30’s-40’s
-He is worldly and has a business brain
-He’s globally minded, ambitious, generous, kind, and has a provider mentality
-He’s strong and reliable, lives his life with integrity and a moral compass, confident in his actions, and has seen the world
-He has international experience, or well traveled and is a global minded entrepreneur)
-He is ready for the next stage in his life including children. Operates on little to no drama and has the clarity and vision for going after what he wants in life
-He’s well respected by colleagues and friends would describe him as a loyal and a dear friend
If you or anyone you know might make an exceptional fit for our female client, please email Amy at: email@example.com
The popularity of non-monogamy—the practice of engaging in many intimate relationships—is on the rise, but is it the right path for your relationship? If you’ve found yourself in this situation, the most important piece of the puzzle is getting clear about what you want.
It’s important to understand what a polyamorous relationship entails. Firstly, it is a relationship built on consent. So, if you or your partner engages in another relationship without the consent of the primary partner, that’s not polyamory, that’s cheating. Also, polyamory is not exclusively about having multiple partners – if that were the case, you’d be describing an open relationship.
Sound a little complicated? Well, I’d agree with you. I’ve seen the invitation for multiple partners complicate functional relationships for years. To be fair, the relationships were on shaky ground before the discussion of additional partners was on the table, but each time the conversation about additional partners came up, someone was left feeling disappointed.
I believe the best decisions come from a place of honesty. Before you decide if polyamory is for you, consider the following:
- What led you to this decision?
If your partner surprised you with the proposition, it’s already looking like an unnatural evolution of your relationship. However, if you did some deep soul searching and believe that multiple partners will help you become the best version of yourself, I think you should listen to that voice.
- Are you doing this to please someone?
Compromising your picture of the relationship to paint someone else’s will only backfire. Instead of ensuring closeness, you’re building a strong case for resentment and contempt. In addition, it is common for jealously to flood the brain.
Ask yourself: Will my partner’s feelings towards me change based on my response?
- Are you doing this to fix something “broken”?
Compromising your needs in an attempt to “get the relationship back on track” or “try a new experience together” are just falsehoods to help us cope with the knowledge that the relationship is flawed on a fundamental level.
Ask yourself: How, specifically, will my partner’s new relationship with someone else strengthen our relationship?
- Are you able to speak openly about jealousy, sexual health, and feeling insecure?
Are your lines of communication open enough to discuss some of the harsher realities of polyamory? Some common drawbacks include feeling jealous, insecure, and secondary. Will you be able to talk about the physical implications of more than one sexual partner? Are you able to talk about feelings of insecurity at the risk of sounding needy? If any of this gives you pause, consider how much stress the polyamorous relationship could put on the level of communication with your partner.
- Are you able to set boundaries? Are you prepared to leave if they are crossed?
This point echoes the sentiment above; are you able to communicate openly about your needs in the relationship? If you are entertaining a polyamorous relationship, are there certain people off limits to your partner? If you are not able to voice these concerns for fear of upsetting your partner, you will sabotage your emotional well being.
If your partner is constantly seeking attention, validation, or admiration while keeping your needs secondary, you could be dating a narcissist. The narcissism diagnosis gets tossed around frequently, so it can be difficult to differentiate between a true narcissist and someone who just loves attention. To know if you’re dating a narcissist, look out for the following signs:
Grandiose Personality—Your partner believes that he or she is the reason other people are leading better lives. Because they believe they are more important than everyone else, it’s challenging for them to fathom how other people could survive without their contributions.
What this could look like: When your partner discusses a work project, he takes credit for the final product without any acknowledgement of colleagues. He tries to tell you that despite everyone pushing back or “getting in his way”, he single-handedly found the answer.
Grand displays of affection (initially)—If your partner laid it on thick in the beginning—i.e. flowers, gifts, or saying “I love you” soon after meeting—you experienced what psychologists call “love bombing”. This technique is used to move the relationship forward quickly, but on a false pretense—one that is self-serving as opposed to genuine.
What this could look like: You were swept off your feet, but that narrative quickly changed when you communicated needs of your own. The exchange of gifts comes easily, but the exchange of real communication has barriers.
Your partner is living in a fantasy—Since reality doesn’t back up that grandiose personality, your partner will create a narrative that does. You might hear your partner tell stories that speak to unlimited power, brilliance, or importance. These stories are protective mechanisms to help offset shame or a lack of self worth.
What this could look like: Your partner tells a story about that time she got a scholarship to an ivy league school, but she doesn’t end up going. When you ask why she took out loans to attend a state school instead, she becomes furious and combative. Your innocent question is met with rage and anger, as it potentially challenges her fantasy.
You partner turns the conversation on you—Whenever you discuss a problem with your partner or have some constructive criticism, the conversation seems to be redirected at you. A narcissistic person will try to make you feel guilty, overly sensitive, or just plain wrong about the issues you’re experiencing. Gaslighting is the formal term that describes this kind of emotional devaluation technique.
What this could look like: You tell your partner that you are upset when she shows up late for plans. Instead of apologizing or offering up a reason, she flips the conversation on you. She might say something like, “Why are you so controlling?” or “Would be really great if you could loosen up”. Gaslighters know that if you question your own feelings, you will continue to doubt yourself and the poor treatment you are receiving.
Your partner is a bully—To affirm those feelings of superiority, narcissists will frequently demean others. Your partner harbors a fragile self esteem so tearing people down—especially publically—is a way to preserve his sense of self.
What this could look like: The waiter delivers the wrong meal to your table. Instead of asking for a replacement, your partner escalates the situation from mistake to confrontation. After embarrassing the waiter and asserting dominance, your partner will not feel any shame or remorse for making a scene.
“I am writing to tell you that (name omitted) and I are in a committed, exclusive relationship! She is the love of my life! I am as smitten today as I was on our first date in January. Only now I know that much more about her and have fallen in love with this spectacular woman! She is adding so much to my life!
I have met her children and am off to a good start with them. We just returned from a fabulous one-week vacation and enjoyed every minute of our time together! She has invited me to join her later this month, with her family and friends, at her treasured vacation home. And we have a long list of things to share into the future.
We have agreed that we are perfect for each other – always comfortable together, discussing everything openly (including the hard stuff) and supporting each other during these times of change.
She is such a caring person, empathetic, listens so well, is flexible and accommodating. Yet she is also strong and voices her feelings and opinions to me. She is a hard worker devoted to her family, career development and charitable interests. So fun to be around such a motivated, interesting woman!
I want to thank you again for introducing me to her. You certainly saved your best client for me! Amy, thanks again for your very caring and professional support on this journey! I am very grateful to have her in my life!”
She might be interested, but is she willing to commit? To know for sure is a time-consuming process. Standing by until she’s ready or doing every little thing to change her mind will challenge your patience and sanity. Those loving feelings you have now can snowball into frustration and resentment if your partner’s intentions stay ambiguous. To avoid pursuing a woman who isn’t ready to commit, ask yourself the following questions:
- Is she emotionally available?
Intimacy begins with trust, and wounds of the past can make trusting someone new very difficult. If your partner struggles to communicate her feelings, she might be protecting herself from another heartbreak or letdown. If your partner constantly rehashes stories about her ex, she’s not ready to commit emotionally. As long as she fixates on the demons of her past, she’s still living among them. Over time, she’s more likely to let go of the anger or sadness, but as long as she’s processing, give her time. Your efforts to be her knight in shining armor are impressive, but they won’t be fully appreciated until she’s moved on from the past. Keep in mind that this one is all about degree – though you don’t want write someone off too quickly, you should also move on if the wounds seem too fresh.
- Does she want you to be the best version of yourself?
Everyone has blind spots; does your partner take time to help you discover and improve the ones that are problematic? If so, she’s showing a willingness to invest in your well-being.
Maybe you’ve slipped back into workaholic tendencies. Maybe you’re struggling with aging parents. Whatever it is, it’s a problem you can solve together. You’ll notice her feedback doesn’t feel like criticism. Instead, she spends time figuring out the root cause of the problem in a calm, non-judgmental way. If she’s looking for the best long-term fit, she will want her partner at his best—even if it involves tough conversations.
- Does she make an effort with your family?
Everyone has a couple challenging relatives but, no matter how much we may wish otherwise, they’re still family. A woman who’s interested in a long-term relationship will take them as they are. She’ll let your overly political father vent, she will let your perpetually unemployed brother crash at your apartment, and she won’t hold it against you.
If the relationship is casual, she’ll avoid intertwining herself in your life. She might meet your friends, but family requires a different type of effort.
A woman who is ready to commit will do her best to make a solid impression. She will help your mom figure out FaceTime. She will spend 45 minutes talking to your dad about his fishing trip. She might have 100 more interesting ways to spend her time, but she wants to cultivate relationships with the people who’ve known you the longest. Because your family is an extension of you, she will make them a part of her life.
- Does she allude to a future?
If commitment is on her mind, she’ll start gauging your interest in future plans. Testing the waters about kids or marriage can be too forward, so listen for softer cues. She might want your thoughts on pet ownership or ask about your lease. If vacation days are numbered, she might ask about holiday plans well in advance.
If she’s trying to make long-term plans, she sees you in her future.
- Does she introduce you to friends?
Meeting the friend group is another way she will integrate you in her life. If you’re playing a bigger role in her life, she’ll want her leading ladies to know you. Watch for invites to group outings or impromptu meet ups where she’s already with a close friend. If she’s inviting you to high exposure events like company outings, family gatherings, weddings, she’s also publicly acknowledging that your relationship has legs.
- Does she want to impress your friends?
Just like family, your friends are an extension of you. Because these people are important to you, they are important to her. If she believes that you are the best long-term partner, she’ll want your friends to see her as your best match. Their opinion of her is not something she’ll take lightly. To make a good impression, she might make an extra effort to befriend a colleague’s wife or take initiative to plan a couples’ trip.
- Does she demonstrate willingness to compromise?
When the relationship shifts from an “I” to a “we”, your partner will make decisions differently. Because she’s focused on what’s best for the relationship, her needs are best met when both of you can come to an agreement, even if the outcome is not exactly what she had in mind. If she’s only looking for casual fun, there’s no reason for her compromise. Without a future, there’s no need to make sacrifices.