Ivy League Dating service

Brainy and Athletic Beauty Seeks Adventurous Partner

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Our 34-year old Caucasian bachelorette is a warm, outgoing, athletic and animal loving female.  She exudes feminine energy and joie de vivre!  She is 5’7” with long, tousled dark-blonde locks, beautiful eyes and a beaming white smile.  Although, she lives in Incline Village on the North Shore of Lake Tahoe she loves the Bay Area, spends a good bit of time here, and would relocate for love in a heartbeat!

She is from a small town in Georgia, but has traveled extensively.  Although she is worldly, she is also very down-to-earth, laid back and friendly.  She is very adventurous and is always up to try new things!  She has sailed around the Caribbean, completed multiple equestrian safaris around the world and has heli-boarded in Alaska. She is an intellectual idealist who loves to engage in discussions and healthy debates ranging from current events to literature.

Her best suited match is 27 to 49 years old, adventurous, successful, and an athletic guy who is 5’7” + and of any ethnic heritage. He works hard, fears boredom, owns a well loved passport, and has been waiting to find a partner to traverse through the jungles of life together. He lives for the great outdoors, sports of all kinds (winter and summer athletics), and can also appreciate what it means to chill out at home cooking, drinking wine, and laughing with his match.

If you or anyone you know might make a great match for this athletic beauty, please email Amy at: amy@linxdating.com

Where Are The Men in Silicon Valley?

Linx is featured in this month’s Town & Country annual Top 50 Bachelor’s issue. Ladies, grab a copy today to check out T & C’s list of the most desirable bachelors hitting the singles scene. These guys range from: Sergey Brin, Aaron Levie, and Uber’s Travis Kalanick to name a few. -1

Linx was asked to name some of my picks of where the techie bachelors go when not working and the toys they like to spend hard earned dollars on. In summary, ladies head to BJ’s in Cupertino on a Thursday for happy hour.

BJ’s is very casual and is a chain restaurant- think nachos, beer on tap, big screens, and a lot of guys! This is across the street from Apple’s campus and is swarming with techies in black turtlenecks with iPhone in hand and beer in another. Now please don’t mistake BJ’s for the next Rosewood Sand Hill Hotel swanky scene. It is anything but upscale! 😉

Ladies, dress casually yet chic and don’t forget a ponytail if your hair is long enough. As I told Emily Holt in T & C, guys love ponytails- especially the techies! Remember they tell me everything!

 

 

5 New Approaches to Dating for the New Year

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Although it may feel like you were the only person this holiday season without a significant other to curl up with next to the fire and kiss at midnight on New Year’s Eve, you are in good company. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that over 50% (124 million) of Americans 16 years and older are single. The dating pool is overwhelmingly large, but many widely used dating techniques may need to be left in 2015 so everyone can find the love they want and deserve in 2016. As you reflect on the past year and set goals for the next, consider the 5 dating approaches below:

Set Clear Personal Goals
At the beginning of each year, most people come up with vague resolutions like “get fit, “eat healthier” and “drink less” that are impossible to track and are quickly forgotten. To attract your ideal mate in the new year, set clear goals that will enable you to become the best version of yourself and meet more people who enjoy activities you love. Examples include “go for a hike/yoga class/run/bike ride/volunteering activity/fill-in-the-blank twice a week,” “finish my passion project by the end of June,” “cook at least 3 healthy meals per week” and “have no more than 3 alcoholic drinks a week.”

Put Your Ideal Match on Paper
You have probably envisioned your ideal partner, but have you ever written down the physical, personality and lifestyle traits you value most? Jot down your non-negotiables and areas where you are more flexible. Examine your past relationships, and rank the traits you have appreciated most in the past and those you want to find in the future. Be clear on your goals and also open to meeting someone who doesn’t check every box. So many people who are hellbent on finding their soulmate and won’t settle for anything less end up alone, so don’t dismiss Mr. or Mrs. Almost Right before giving them a fair chance.

Leave Your Ex in the Past
Perhaps you are hung up on an past relationship or are currently dating someone you know is not right for you. You know you don’t want to be with that person, so stop letting their space on your back burner mess with your chances of heating something up on your front burner. Many people keep past relationships in the present as an emotional crutch, but it’s important to let go of emotional baggage before you can start fresh with someone new. To get closure on a past relationship, consider writing him or her a letter or an email explaining that you need to let go of them and wish them the best in the future.

Delete Your Dating Apps
Put down your phone! Make eye contact with and smile at people you encounter each day. Remember the “come hither” look you used to give or receive to a sexy stranger in a bar before everyone’s eyes were glued to their phone screens? Those sexy strangers, all 124 million of them, are still out there, but you can’t meet them when you’re busy scrolling through an endless stream of profiles in an endless number of dating sites. Active Tinder users spend over 6 hours a day using the app. Take that 6 hours back, notice people around you, smile, and say hello. Who knows, you may actually meet your someone special in real life!

Ask For Setups
I really admire people who ask for setups, and I am surprised more people don’t do it. Much like the professional world, where over 80% of people get jobs through people they know, using your network to find your next date is key. People who ask for setups frequently go on incredible dates with high-quality, respectful men and women. Share your ideal match with friends and family so they can let you know if and when they meet a man or woman who checks your boxes. Ask your single friends what they’re looking for as well so you can return the favor!

Best wishes for romance, love and laughter in 2016!

Recruiting Single Women in So Cal Ages 28-40

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We are pleased to announce a new VIP search for a bachelor in Southern California. Our dashing 55-year old entrepreneur stands 6’0” with an athletic physique, brown hair, and inviting baby blue eyes. He grew up in the enchanting, medieval town of Cáceres, Spain and has been living in beautiful La Jolla for years.

Our client has excelled professionally ever since he founded his global company 30 years ago. Today, he enjoys overseeing the company as a very hands-on President focused on maintaining high quality products and unparalleled costumer service. Our bachelor has a true passion for life and people! Always out and about, he loves sports, tennis, Bikram yoga,  and fine dining. He has a thirst for travel and new experiences. A family man by nature, he cares deeply for his two young adult children, siblings, and parents. 

Our client finds all women beautiful and is typically drawn to Caucasian and Latin women between 28 and 40 years old. His ideal match is fit, taller, feminine, and stylish. She has a vibrant, outgoing personality, a great sense of humor, and a kick in her step! She lives between San Diego and Los Angeles or is open to moving to Southern California to be with this amazing client of ours.

If you or anyone you know might make a great fit for this stylish, fun, and successful bachelor, please email Amy at amy@linxdating.com. Thank you so much!

Ferragamo Would Be So Proud: What to Know About Women’s Shoes

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We’d like to draw your attention to an article entitled ‘What Can You Tell About A Woman From Her Shoes’ that appeared in a 2014 Issue of Men’s Health. In it, the authors cite a 2012 study from the University of Kansas, which asserts that “people are able to accurately judge 90 percent of a stranger’s personality, including their emotional stability, simply by looking at their most-worn pair of shoes.”  Well, we haven’t seen the study, nor are we interested in disputing its findings. But we are very interested in your acumen (or, more likely, the  lack thereof) for women’s footwear because we think that this is more practical in the context of coaching you as you embark on your dating adventures.   Why?

Two reasons:

(1) Even if you wanted to, you can’t apply the results of the above study if you don’t first have a solid working knowledge of women’s footwear.  Moreover, though, there is definitely value in ascertaining the emotional stability of someone by assessing their most worn pair of shoes, we feel fairly confident that most people don’t wear their most worn pair of shoes out on a date. So, in the context of dating we feel it is much more important, pragmatic and constructive to teach men about what actually lies behind the doors of a closet dedicated to shoe apparel before they go much farther.

(2) To even get beyond an initial introduction to a lady of interest, you will need to sustain her attention and you should be able to converse about more than just what you are comfortable with – i.e. you need to be comfortable out of your comfort zone. Women’s shoes are a great example of a “high yield” topic with which you should be familiar.  If you are seeking a long-term relationship, which most of my clients are, the chances are good that you will spend quite a bit of time shopping with your significant other or at least enough time that you will want to know a thing or two about women’s shoes.  Our clients tend to be interested in fashionable women, and fashionable women tend to appreciate men who have some appreciation for women’s shoes. After all, some of the women you will meet will have quite an obsession with shoes, possibly own hundreds of pairs, including some that have only been worn on a single occasion.

Let’s pose a question to demonstrate what you probably don’t know… and don’t feel bad… you are in the great majority of men on planet Earth if you don’t know the answer to the following question. Here it is: What’s the difference between a slingback espadrille wedge and a peep-toe ankle strap platform wedge?

Most of you are computer savvy. So if you look up “espadrille” you’ll find a Wikipedia entry that reads as follows “Espadrilles or alpargatas are normally casual, flat, but sometimes high-heeled shoes originating in the Pyrenees.”

Wedges, which were made popular by Salvatore Ferragamo, also have their own entry, which reads “Wedge boots, wedgies or lifties are shoes and boots with a sole in the form of a wedge so that one piece of material, normally rubber, serves as both the sole and the heel.”

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We are assuming that you don’t have the time or inclination to do a ton of “field research” on things like this.  As such, we are here to help.

Rather than reinvent the wheel, we decided to introduce a comprehensive infographic covering just about every contemporary shoe style you might find in a woman’s shoe closet……

Pop-Chart Lab published the Charted Collection of Contemporary Footwear (and we think it is pretty phenomenal and helpful.)

So with that introduction, we direct you to the following infographic. For the guys out there, the next time you’re at the mall running some quick errands consider our advice and head to women’s shoes in a high-end department store. Strike up a conversation and ask a cute girl trying on a pair of d’orsay pumps her opinion on which shoes she would recommend getting for your sister/mother/aunt/cousin/etc. It’s a “target rich” environment with high yield potential for single guys or dare I say someone with a serious foot fetish.;-)

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Geek is Chic: Guys Get Your Glasses On

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Think of Bono, Karl Lagerfeld, Spike Lee and Elton John. These gents are iconic, and so are their spectacles. In fact, you probably wouldn’t recognize them without their signature frames.  Glasses have become extensions of their faces, if not their personas.

The frames of the rich and famous are not only synonymous with the people wearing them, they have become fashion fixtures embedded in popular culture. The stylish eye wear of celebrities are often so iconic in their own right, they transcend time and continue to set fashion trends. Some may simply be fashion accessories but, regardless of their purpose, they have become part of our culture. You don’t have to be a fashionista to sport some trendsetting glasses.

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Pop Chart Lab, Inc. in Brooklyn, New York produces an eye chart of famous eye wear. So if you are out shopping for a cosmetic touch, you can first test the look of some famous frames, including Benjamin Franklin’s bifocals, Elvis’s sunglasses, Maverick’s aviators and even MC Hammer’s oversized glasses.

It is always interesting to us that so many people seek elective corrective eye surgery only to later adorn glasses for cosmetic purposes.  But the data speaks for itself and it says frames are “in” with or without anything in them, literally. LeBron James has popularized eye wear sans lenses at press conferences. And curators at the London College of Fashion, where the exhibit Framed received much acclaim, asserted in recent years that overt design has replaced a trend of minimalism when it comes to eye wear.

But you need to pay attention and stay current as it seems minimalism is back for the Fall of 2015 along with some audacious rims. Sleek seems to be chic with retro-90’s and 60’s looks designs making their way into fashion publications, but so too are bold, thick frames from the 70’s.

Three years ago Harris interactive conducted an online survey on behalf of the new eye wear retailer Ditto.com. They found that 87% of women find glasses on men to be sexy and 91% of women found that sunglasses on men were sexy.  Indeed, everyone looks (fill in your favorite adjective) -> hotter/sexier/bolder/mysterious/polished/hip/cool/trendy in sunglasses.

BUT, before you head out to the nearest retailer, heed some of our advice on what frames to consider and what to ignore. Not all spectacles are spectacular. And just because you think Will Smith’s sunglasses look great on him in Men in Black, it does NOT mean they will look great on you. They don’t have to fit your face, but they do have to fit your look. If you are bold enough they can even MAKE your look. 

If you can’t figure out what to consider buying, you can’t go wrong with the classic black rim glasses. They are simple, yet sophisticated and are perfect for just about every occasion. But if you aren’t looking for something safe, but really slick and avant-garde, we’d be remiss if we failed to introduce you to Tom Ford’s Hugh Polarized Square Wayfarer Sunglasses

Beyond those glasses, we also love Tom Ford’s Marko Aviator Polarized Sunglasses. If you’re thinking you want to mix up your look this Fall and try a new optical look think Oliver Peoples. Our top Oliver Peoples Optical frames include: Jack Huston RX, Executive I, and Calidor.

Recruiting Single Brainy Athletic Women Ages 24-36

Announcing a new VIP search for an extraordinary new client. Our bachelor is a handsome 6’4”, African American, Star Trek nerd in his early 30’s who commutes between Los Angeles and San Francisco.  But don’t let the Trekiness make you think he spends all of his time indoors playing World of Warcraft with the other nerds.  He’s also a former USA Men’s National athlete and is much more comfortable scuba diving with sharks or on safari in the Serengeti than he is sitting in front of his computer screen. He recently started skiing and while he won’t keep up with you in a race down the mountain, he’ll definitely compete in the race to the lodge to sit by the fire and have a hot toddy. Exercise is a necessary part of life for this guy. He works out 3-4 for times a week for 2 hours.

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It’s nearly impossible to grasp how dynamic this client is on pretty much all levels – professionally, interests wise, and personality.  He’s an individualist who has taken unusual twists and turns professionally and has confidently strided into his family’s elite business managing and growing assets.  Growing up in a family of educators where academics was always a major focus, he earned a BA from Stanford and a post graduate degree from another top school – but Stanford definitely has his heart. His father was one of the first African Americans to get a Ph.D. from Stanford and his sibling is currently an MD/Ph.D. student at the university. He considers himself to be a self-motivated type; ambitious and competitive, but you’ll also find him to be silly at times, geeky, giving, introspective, and romantic too!

His best suited match is 24-36 and African American, Caucasian, or Latin heritage. She is ideally taller- so think between 5’8″-6’1″, with athletic slender physique, and competitive like our bachelor. As sporty and active as she might be, she appreciates and enjoys being feminine. More so, she understands an entrepreneurs mentality, likes to win in life, and is driven by adventure and fun.  She’s a proud nerd at heart and thinks geeking out about space exploration over sushi in Tokyo one night followed by skydiving in the morning somewhere else in the world sounds like a dream come true.

If you or anyone you know makes a great fit for this truly world-class guy, email Amy at amy@linxdating.com.

Fess Up

young lovers kissWhat would you do if someone you were dating didn’t tell you about a potentially devastating sexually transmitted disease they had in fear that you’d reject them from the start? We live in an era where STDs are rampant – some of these are curable and many are incurable such as HPV, herpes, and HIV/AIDS. Thousands of people find themselves single, searching, and living with incurable STDs everyday. These folks could be your neighbors, colleagues, fellow churchgoers, Soul Cycle patrons, former classmates, and potentially… your future lovers.

Today there are websites that are created for matching one STD carrier to another. It’s a smart way to date and not have to worry about a) having to disclose a dark secret about your personal life to someone who won’t understand and b) worrying about transmitting anything since you both might very well have the same STD (especially if you meet through sites like h-date.com). These sites create a community of like-minded people to feel normal again, sexy, desirable, supported, and safe.

Although there appear to be a lot of choices for meeting other educated professional men and women who share one’s same STD, many people opt-out of these community sites in favor of mainstream sites and apps like Match, Hinge, Tinder, and jDate. In theory there isn’t anything wrong with someone with an STD enjoying the benefits of these various sites/apps, or of working with a matchmaker, assuming they practice full disclosure with whomever they meet.

There is a lot of shame and regret involved with having an STD and a lot of folks never know the “right time” to communicate that they have contracted something awhile back. I know someone very well who met a seemingly amazing guy on one of these apps out there. He was the perfect on paper prototypical guy many girls would swoon over: Ivy League educated, founder/CEO resume, well-rounded, cute, affable, and well…she felt he could be “the one.” They enjoyed dinners out, laughed a lot, cooked together, and she even met some of his family members.

A red flag arose when he wanted to go exclusive early on. It seemed too good to be true to her- especially after so many misses happening with non-committal guys. He came on really strong, flowers on date two, lots of cuddling, consistent communication, wanting to see her, and what really felt like old-world courtship. Since she felt he could be too good to be true, she really didn’t want to mess things up with sex too soon. He didn’t pressure her, in fact, after many dates they didn’t even “go there.” She wanted to wait till she was really ready and sure that everything felt right.

About two months into dating pretty exclusively, he pulled out of nowhere a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on her. You know how someone can have a quick shift in personality and go from chill and fun one second to bizarre and distant the next? That’s precisely what he did to her. She called him out on it asking what was wrong. He grew increasingly weird that weekend afternoon and said that it wasn’t working between them. Wasn’t working, she thought? What on earth? Where’d he pull that crap from? They had just had a fantastic lunch with his family, held hands, kissed, and laughed about some silly inside joke.

She knew there was more to it and he was holding something back. Was it an ex? Was he not the guy he represented himself as online? Sadly it was the latter. After tears shed and arguing back and forth, he admitted that he was afraid to tell her that he has a serious STD and THAT was the reason he wanted to break-up. She couldn’t believe he had never disclosed that upfront. Every thought raced into her mind- could she have contracted the STD, what are the symptoms, why didn’t he tell her sooner, where are all the honest men out there…..

The saving grace was that they had never slept together nor been intimate in any way. She was able to breathe a huge sigh of relief and move on with her life in that regard. What bothered her beyond the momentary STD scare was the fact that yet another “douche bag” of a guy failed to be honest and upfront about something so serious.

A lesson here is that the devil really is in the details when you’re our there dating on your own. Although someone could appear dreamy and like a total Romeo online, tread extremely cautiously until you have fully gotten to know that person. A lot of people withhold life-threatening information in fear of rejection or simply hoping they don’t have to have the talk as it is “so heavy” and there is “never a good time.”

Be smart, wise, prudent, protective, and ask questions. Don’t be afraid to have the talk and be the first one to ask your partner if they have had an STD screening or an HIV test, and when they had their last test. If you’re getting serious and thinking about having sex, the only right way is to openly communicate with your partner and then go get tested together. I emphasize going together as some people say they will but never do.

There is never a right time to bring up if you have an STD or suspect you might. Bring it up early on (think date two or three time frame). If your date is supportive, awesome! There are lots of ways to have safe sex together without having to worry. If your date closes the loop from getting to know you further, I’m pretty sure they will be thankful you saved everyone time, energy, potential heartbreak or more by being upfront early on.

Engagements and Happiness at Linx

Announcing another amazing Linx couple who is newly engaged! Both are in their mid 30’s, Ivy League MBAs, execs, and extremely dynamic people. He popped the question a little over a year after their very first date in Aspen right after Valentine’s Day! They have a wonderful love story and are in the midst of a lot of exciting planning now. Her ring is one of the most stunning and dramatic sparklers I have ever seen. I called it her “ice cube” on her finger as it is that impressive. Lucky girl! Perhaps they will get married in Aspen?Aspen-Wedding-21

They had both dated a lot on their own before coming to Linx. He was VERY skeptical of Linx before he became a client (even though he was referred in by a former client and trusted source). This gentleman had been in one very bumpy relationship that sort of took the wind out of him, had worked too much, didn’t have any balance in his life, and made excuses along the way.

The day of his meeting with me, he cancelled, sharing, “I lack the time for a relationship and don’t have the interest to move forward.” Was I initially disappointed? Absolutely. Being in business 10 years now and having a deep insight into humans in general, I knew there was much more to the story than that.

I knew I could help him – it was only a matter of shifting his focus and giving him the clarity he needed. Luckily, he agreed (with quite a lot of doubt and huffing and puffing) to simply “take a meeting” with me. We shared stories and instantly clicked, talking for over an hour at my office.

At the end of the meeting, he said something along the lines of, ok what is next, how do I sign up? I had been a catalyst in restoring his faith in love and helping him see that his bar should be set high (to stop dating ‘down’) and to aim for the stars because he is worth it and I knew I could help him.

He took the plunge and did Linx, hit the jackpot with introduction #3, and 13 months later from the time he joined, proposed to a woman who radiates beauty inside and out. He just wrote me, “life is great. :)”   This is just one of the many stories of clients that I have seen over the years at Linx.

Today I received an email from a smart young woman who cancelled her appointment with me as part of our casting week mid week, next week. She said she is tired, in a dating slump, not in a good mental place, and just drained from putting herself out there on dates with “nothing to show.” I told her I can SO relate to that frustrating feeling and sentiment. The honest truth is she isn’t ready at this EXACT moment. I believe if she takes some time off, she will have the mental agility and freshness needed to take a leap forward in the right direction. As they say, it is all about timing!

I brought a brilliant- yes literally- brilliant young woman into Linx today as a new client. 25 years who who went to college at ten years old!  When I was ten, I was still convinced a monster was under my bed at night and I obsessed over My Little Pony and my Pretty Cut & Grow! il_fullxfull.375446842_2az5I was definitely not focused on selecting the right college courses and fretting over advanced calculus!

We also met with a young Silicon Valley engineer today who needed some date coaching. My husband sat in on the meeting to speak guy-to-guy…hoping that might sink in a little bit more for our client. It did. My husband’s sage advice was (and this can absolutely carry over for women when you date):

1. Show empathy on your date. Try to get at the essence about what makes your date tick.

2. In preparation for your date, channel something (this could be anything) that makes you laugh and feel giddy! Carry that energy into your date. Lead with that light hearted, carefree spirit.

3. Stop being mechanical and going through the motions of being on a date. When you let go and dance through the conversation, it will flow much better. My client explained he felt tripped up and stressed when the waiter was late to take the order. I told my client I want him to try to work on a feeling of lingering through the date. Be so enraptured by your date you don’t even NOTICE if something is wrong. When my husband and I had our very first date- get this- the waiter took 2 hours to finally take our order. We laughed, smiled, and rolled with it. We were so engrossed in one another, we didn’t care for a second.