Who, What, When… Huh?

With Drinks on the Linx just around the corner, we’ve been getting a lot of inquiries about different aspects of the Linx process and experience. Amy and I thought it would be a good idea to share answers to some of those frequently asked questions, just in case some of you have been curious about the same issues. If you don’t see the answer you’re looking for below, feel free to contact us with any additional concerns and questions. We’re here to help!

What are the differences between being a Premium client, a VIP, and a Match Applicant?

A Premium client is someone who has hired us to find their ideal match. This person (of either gender) has signed up for a Silver, Platinum, or VIP membership, and is guaranteed an agreed upon number of introductions during the duration of their contract. For Silver and Platinum clients, these introductions involve people already within the (substantial) Linx database.

VIP clients, however, are a bit different; VIP clients are Premium clients who often have extremely specific criteria (these can be educational, ethnic, cultural, geographic, life-style focused, or any combination thereof) and so VIP clients have empowered us to search outside of our existing database and network to find their ideal match. It is not uncommon for a VIP search to be conducted in the San Francico Bay Area, as well as NYC, LA and beyond. Information about active VIP searches can be found here.

A Match Applicant is someone who has paid for an initial in-person consultation with Linx, and we have determined that they are highly matchable. A Match Applicant is someone we feel is truly looking for a relationship, has realistic expectations based on their own age, experience, education, desires, etc., and has a great attitude about the Linx process.

So paying $200 and meeting with Amy makes me a Match Applicant?

Simply put, no. The fee for an in-person consultation is strictly meant to compensate us for our professional time. It does not make you a member or client of Linx, nor does it guarantee you any introductions or invitations beyond the opportunity to get to know us better. We understand that some people think this is an unreasonable fee, but Linx is, at heart, a business. If $200 seems expensive to meet privately with professional matchmakers who might then introduce you to the mate of your dreams, then we encourage you to pursue other romantic avenues such as online dating.

I met with Linx, but didn’t hear from them after the meeting. Why not?

At the end of any initial consultation, we encourage you to take a few days to reflect on our conversation, and to reach out to us if you’d like to move forward. For Match Applicant candidates who are an obvious fit for one of our current Premium clients, we do often reach out within a few days of our meeting to explore the possibility of making an introduction. But in other cases we wait to hear from you. This process is not for everyone; some interviewees decide that they are not ready to use the services of a matchmaker, while others (those often newly out of a relationship) might realize that they aren’t in the right place to meet anyone at all. If you want to hear from Linx, contact us. We’ve probably been waiting to hear from you, too.

When do I get to see pictures of the person to whom I’m being introduced?

Believe it or not, you actually don’t get pictures before meeting your match (unless you are a VIP client.) Despite the very deliberate nature of our process, we still value the element of surprise. We want your first glimpse of your match to involve the thrill of discovery rather than the comfort of recognition. We don’t want to take all of the excitement out of a first date; if anything, we want to increase it by reassuring you that you’re meeting a high quality individual who shares a lot of your goals and values. What’s not exciting about that? Plus, we find people are simply too judgmental.

Is it true that you don’t work with women in their 40s?

No, this is not true. At Linx, we work with men and women of all ages (from twentysomethings to 70+) and we get excited by each and every opportunity to help someone find love. But we also know the limitations of our database, and we understand the dynamics of the local dating economy. Despite the rise of “cougar culture” we simply don’t encounter a lot of young men looking for older women (at least not for the purposes of starting a serious relationship) and so we do politely decline working with prospects whose expectations do not align with our experience of reality; even our female VIP clients are typically willing to date men up to 10 years older than they are, and we cannot successfully match other Premium clients or Match Applicants who are not willing to do the same. It just created very unrealistic expectations and could lead to failure and disappointment.

Is it true that you reject people that apply for membership?

Simply put, yes. We have a high rejection rate as we cannot work with everyone. Sometimes we encounter someone who is simply not a good culture fit, or perhaps is not comfortable with the Linx protocol and general mission of our business. Maybe someone is leading an unhealthy lifestyle, has zero balance in his/her life, or just is not trusting of our process. Over the years, we’ve even had people ask us in the initial screening phase when asked if he/she is “commitment-minded” how we define commitment. Enough said. 😉

I’m gay/lesbian/bisexual. Is Linx suitable for me?

Unfortunately, our database is limited in a way that allows us to focus on same-sex relationships at this time. That said, we do represent a small population of VIP bisexual clients who are interested in matches from both men and women. In the meantime, please do contact us if you’re interested (increased interest is what will help fuel opportunities to build an extended network for gay and lesbian clients) and be sure to attend our networking events, like Drinks on the Linx if you enjoy networking.

I’ve read a lot about Linx networking events. Is one of those coming up soon?

Yes, in fact, there is a Link & Drink event just around the corner! Join us at the Stanford Golf Course on the evening of July 17th for a warm summer night of Drinks on the Linx! Tickets are selling quickly, and we will not be able to sell tickets at the door, so buy yours here. Attendance will be capped at 400, and having fun is mandatory, so we hope to see you there!

Remember that our events are NOT limited to clients. So invite your friends, the more the merrier!

Are You Open to the Possibility of Real Love?

Blog written by: Linx staff member, Michael Norman

If you’re a Linx member, you know that finding true love can be difficult under any circumstance, and especially challenging when trying to navigate work schedules, family obligations, travel commitments, and, of course, personal preferences. At Linx, we always encourage seeing someone at least two times if you feel even a hint of a spark, and to be as open as possible when thinking about the details of what you expect your match to be/do/look like.

While it’s true that our physical type is often something we cannot control (or even influence) it’s also equally true that you can be surprised — and extremely satisfied — by a relationship with someone who doesn’t look like every one of your exes. (Those relationships didn’t work out for a reason, you know.)

Make sure you know the difference between what you need and what you want; you may want tall, dark, and handsome, but do you need all three? You may like natural blondes with small waists and high arches, but is the character of a woman ever really linked to the size of her waist or the shape of her feet?

In my circle of friends, many of the deepest and most fulfilling relationships actually started with a connection that was barely on the warm side of ambivalence. And believe it or not, that can be a good thing. When someone doesn’t fit your preconceived notion of what makes an ideal mate, it’s easier to relax, throw out your expectations and projections, and get to know them. You can find yourself drawn to their inner qualities instead of being mesmerized by their outer attributes. You give them a chance without realizing it, and you can find yourself comfortable and and connected in a way you couldn’t anticipate.

At Linx, we do out best to bring you a match who is ideal on all fronts. But occasionally, we ask that members stretch themselves, and be open to someone younger or older, darker or lighter, shorter or taller than they requested. We do that because we know our members very well, and we often see opportunities where two people make sense together, even if it’s unlikely to be a case of love at first sight.

We also ask people to be open because it’s practical. We have thousands of people in our database of all shapes and colors and sizes, but we don’t always have the match you want in the package you expect. The more narrow you are about your physical type and restrictions, the harder it is to meet someone — and that’s true whether you’re a client of Linx, or not.

Here is a video that breaks down the odds of love for one single 25-year-old woman in New York City. The numbers might surprise you, and when you watch, keep in mind that hair color, eye color, height, body type, shoe size, graduate degrees, minimum salaries, past relationships, and favorite sports team are NOT part of this equation. 😉 We don’t know the odds for the Bay Area, but maybe a quant-minded Linx member would like to provide the answer for us?

Are you really open to the possibility of true love? Or are focusing on a lot of tiny details that stand in the way of having your emotional needs met?

Searching for a Princess for our VIP| Are You His Match?

The question on the mind of most guys and gals as they embark on a first (blind) date is some form of “What’s he/she really like?” It’s certainly on my mind as I go to meet a woman for the first time, knowing only a few facts about her. So what am I really like?

I could tell you that I’m a pilot, a photographer and a lawyer, but that doesn’t tell you much about what I’m like. I could be a terrible pilot, an even worse photographer and a mean or incompetent lawyer. I could give you my basic demographics – 6ft, 195lbs, early 50’s, Caucasian male, no police record, born and raised a Texan. Fills in a couple blanks, I realize, but doesn’t say much about my personality. I could also provide you the usual laundry list of fun and fabulous activities in which I, like most other guys, regularly engage in the hopes of attracting attention — such as bungee jumping from a crop-duster, lion taming with a swizzle stick, or karaoke at Carnegie Hall. But as impressive as those activities are, they don’t convey much about my personality or my ability to be a good first date (let alone a good second or third date).

Perhaps if I told you what kind of princess charming I am searching for, that would tell you something about what I’m like. So, I could list all the fine and fantastic qualities I hope my princess charming will have – she is smart, sassy, self-assured, sensitive, single, sporty, spontaneous, sure-footed, sensible, and somewhere early 30’s to early 40’s. But really, what would that say about me? Nothing much except that I have laughably high expectations and a fondness for alliteration. And in any event, making such a list sounds a lot like writing out a shopping list and I don’t like shopping lists, even when I’m headed to Safeway or Costco. I guess that’s why I always forget at least one thing and have to make a second trip. But I drive a non-Prius electric car (I keep a spare just in case), so making multiple trips to the store doesn’t really contribute to global warming, except the utility company may have to pollute the environment to make the electricity for my car, so I guess I’m partly to blame for that, but I usually remember 3 or 4 new things to get on the second trip so it’s not really a wasted trip, and there’s always a need to go to Petco because my dogs consume so much food, but alas I digress. Now back to the subject at hand.

So instead of all that, let me offer for the next woman who happens to be thinking about meeting me on a first date some accurate information that might be useful to her in answering the aforementioned question. I will list a few principles which I use as a general guide on how I approach people and life, something similar to “Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handy”, only not as demented.

Perhaps this may provide some help in answering the “What’s he really like?” or “Is this the kind of guy I want to be stuck with over a two hour dinner?” question. Perhaps we already have some common ground. So here it is . . . .

1) Find the humor in any situation or person, no matter how grim or dull

2) Take your work, but not yourself, seriously

3) Be grateful for what you have, and thankful for what you do not

4) Treat everyone with sincerity and respect, but don’t take you-know-what from anybody

5) Be curious about all things, large medium and small and never stop learning something new

6) Everyone is trying to stay “one step ahead” – better to be three or four instead

7) Find compromise and pick your battles wisely, or you’ll end up fighting all your life

8) Avoid the extremes in all things, too much of anything is not a good thing (there are one or two exceptions we can discuss)

9) You learn about people by listening to them, you don’t learn when you’re talking

10) If you want the finer things in life, then work hard so you can afford them, but leave yourself plenty of time to enjoy them

And above all,

Make time to search out the great places in this Great Big World, places such as (these are photographs taken from our VIP)…The Grand Canyon at sunset, a changing symphony of light and shadows and color

Haleakala at sunrise, from the Pacific’s Mt. Olympus, above the clouds and the entire world

Monument Valley shrouded in clouds, appearing as it did millions of years ago

A hot air balloon festival, an endless colorful parade taking flight in the crisp morning air to the cheers of thousands

Cloud surfing on an ethereal blanket that scarcely conceals the earth below

Sunrise on the Dardanelles, floating between two continents, each rich with its own history and culture

If you have read this and you are wondering if you might qualify as a match for our VIP, email me: amy@linxdating.com. I have personally spent considerable time with our client and can attest to the fact that he is a genuinely warm, funny, quick witted, man who is truly a gentleman through and through. He’s masculine, chivalrous, successful, upbeat, and has made a nice home for himself in the Bay Area. The missing piece is the right match. Are you that girl? Email me if we’ve sparked your curiosity!

Announcing a new VIP search |Recruiting eligible men!

Our VIP is an intelligent, attractive 46-year old African-American woman who is physically 5’2” with shoulder-length dark brown hair and warm brown eyes. She has a petite frame, is youthful, and has feminine curves.

She has achieved much in her professional life and is now focusing more of her drive and dedication to her personal life. You will find our client to be authentic and grounded in who she is. Fun, gentle, warm, thoughtful, positive and loving with a welcoming smile are just a few of the qualities that attract others to her. She likes things straight forward with no drama to complicate the picture. She looks forward to sharing the romantic side of life with the right man. She is attracted to someone who embodies strength and intellect yet is genuine, thoughtful and a bit humble in his accomplishments. Her leading man is personable and an all around good guy.

Our client has a PhD and works in the healthcare field with children. She enjoys spending time with her lovely 8 year old daughter and finding a man who enjoys family time as well as time exploring and being with friends would be wonderful. Travel, theater, dining, art festivals and football games are all passions she enjoys. Quiet nights at home with a good meal and a warm fire are also a favorite.

You are in your 40’s to mid 50’s, Caucasian or African American, handsome, masculine, and you keep active and healthy. You have a sense of style whether in jeans or a suit. You are young at heart with a sense of humor yet serious and dedicated in your work. You have achieved a level of success that affords you a genuine work life balance. You utilize some of your success for the benefit of others through volunteer work or philanthropy. You are comfortable in your own skin. Our client views shared passions as a plus but introducing her to what you are passionate about or discovering new interests together is just as appealing.

If you know anyone who could be a good match for our VIP or think you might be a strong candidate for consideration, please email our founder Amy at amy@linxdating.com.

There are NO FEES for qualifying candidates.