Are You Open to the Possibility of Real Love?

Blog written by: Linx staff member, Michael Norman

If you’re a Linx member, you know that finding true love can be difficult under any circumstance, and especially challenging when trying to navigate work schedules, family obligations, travel commitments, and, of course, personal preferences. At Linx, we always encourage seeing someone at least two times if you feel even a hint of a spark, and to be as open as possible when thinking about the details of what you expect your match to be/do/look like.

While it’s true that our physical type is often something we cannot control (or even influence) it’s also equally true that you can be surprised — and extremely satisfied — by a relationship with someone who doesn’t look like every one of your exes. (Those relationships didn’t work out for a reason, you know.)

Make sure you know the difference between what you need and what you want; you may want tall, dark, and handsome, but do you need all three? You may like natural blondes with small waists and high arches, but is the character of a woman ever really linked to the size of her waist or the shape of her feet?

In my circle of friends, many of the deepest and most fulfilling relationships actually started with a connection that was barely on the warm side of ambivalence. And believe it or not, that can be a good thing. When someone doesn’t fit your preconceived notion of what makes an ideal mate, it’s easier to relax, throw out your expectations and projections, and get to know them. You can find yourself drawn to their inner qualities instead of being mesmerized by their outer attributes. You give them a chance without realizing it, and you can find yourself comfortable and and connected in a way you couldn’t anticipate.

At Linx, we do out best to bring you a match who is ideal on all fronts. But occasionally, we ask that members stretch themselves, and be open to someone younger or older, darker or lighter, shorter or taller than they requested. We do that because we know our members very well, and we often see opportunities where two people make sense together, even if it’s unlikely to be a case of love at first sight.

We also ask people to be open because it’s practical. We have thousands of people in our database of all shapes and colors and sizes, but we don’t always have the match you want in the package you expect. The more narrow you are about your physical type and restrictions, the harder it is to meet someone — and that’s true whether you’re a client of Linx, or not.

Here is a video that breaks down the odds of love for one single 25-year-old woman in New York City. The numbers might surprise you, and when you watch, keep in mind that hair color, eye color, height, body type, shoe size, graduate degrees, minimum salaries, past relationships, and favorite sports team are NOT part of this equation. 😉 We don’t know the odds for the Bay Area, but maybe a quant-minded Linx member would like to provide the answer for us?

Are you really open to the possibility of true love? Or are focusing on a lot of tiny details that stand in the way of having your emotional needs met?

Searching for a Princess for our VIP| Are You His Match?

The question on the mind of most guys and gals as they embark on a first (blind) date is some form of “What’s he/she really like?” It’s certainly on my mind as I go to meet a woman for the first time, knowing only a few facts about her. So what am I really like?

I could tell you that I’m a pilot, a photographer and a lawyer, but that doesn’t tell you much about what I’m like. I could be a terrible pilot, an even worse photographer and a mean or incompetent lawyer. I could give you my basic demographics – 6ft, 195lbs, early 50’s, Caucasian male, no police record, born and raised a Texan. Fills in a couple blanks, I realize, but doesn’t say much about my personality. I could also provide you the usual laundry list of fun and fabulous activities in which I, like most other guys, regularly engage in the hopes of attracting attention — such as bungee jumping from a crop-duster, lion taming with a swizzle stick, or karaoke at Carnegie Hall. But as impressive as those activities are, they don’t convey much about my personality or my ability to be a good first date (let alone a good second or third date).

Perhaps if I told you what kind of princess charming I am searching for, that would tell you something about what I’m like. So, I could list all the fine and fantastic qualities I hope my princess charming will have – she is smart, sassy, self-assured, sensitive, single, sporty, spontaneous, sure-footed, sensible, and somewhere early 30’s to early 40’s. But really, what would that say about me? Nothing much except that I have laughably high expectations and a fondness for alliteration. And in any event, making such a list sounds a lot like writing out a shopping list and I don’t like shopping lists, even when I’m headed to Safeway or Costco. I guess that’s why I always forget at least one thing and have to make a second trip. But I drive a non-Prius electric car (I keep a spare just in case), so making multiple trips to the store doesn’t really contribute to global warming, except the utility company may have to pollute the environment to make the electricity for my car, so I guess I’m partly to blame for that, but I usually remember 3 or 4 new things to get on the second trip so it’s not really a wasted trip, and there’s always a need to go to Petco because my dogs consume so much food, but alas I digress. Now back to the subject at hand.

So instead of all that, let me offer for the next woman who happens to be thinking about meeting me on a first date some accurate information that might be useful to her in answering the aforementioned question. I will list a few principles which I use as a general guide on how I approach people and life, something similar to “Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handy”, only not as demented.

Perhaps this may provide some help in answering the “What’s he really like?” or “Is this the kind of guy I want to be stuck with over a two hour dinner?” question. Perhaps we already have some common ground. So here it is . . . .

1) Find the humor in any situation or person, no matter how grim or dull

2) Take your work, but not yourself, seriously

3) Be grateful for what you have, and thankful for what you do not

4) Treat everyone with sincerity and respect, but don’t take you-know-what from anybody

5) Be curious about all things, large medium and small and never stop learning something new

6) Everyone is trying to stay “one step ahead” – better to be three or four instead

7) Find compromise and pick your battles wisely, or you’ll end up fighting all your life

8) Avoid the extremes in all things, too much of anything is not a good thing (there are one or two exceptions we can discuss)

9) You learn about people by listening to them, you don’t learn when you’re talking

10) If you want the finer things in life, then work hard so you can afford them, but leave yourself plenty of time to enjoy them

And above all,

Make time to search out the great places in this Great Big World, places such as (these are photographs taken from our VIP)…The Grand Canyon at sunset, a changing symphony of light and shadows and color

Haleakala at sunrise, from the Pacific’s Mt. Olympus, above the clouds and the entire world

Monument Valley shrouded in clouds, appearing as it did millions of years ago

A hot air balloon festival, an endless colorful parade taking flight in the crisp morning air to the cheers of thousands

Cloud surfing on an ethereal blanket that scarcely conceals the earth below

Sunrise on the Dardanelles, floating between two continents, each rich with its own history and culture

If you have read this and you are wondering if you might qualify as a match for our VIP, email me: amy@linxdating.com. I have personally spent considerable time with our client and can attest to the fact that he is a genuinely warm, funny, quick witted, man who is truly a gentleman through and through. He’s masculine, chivalrous, successful, upbeat, and has made a nice home for himself in the Bay Area. The missing piece is the right match. Are you that girl? Email me if we’ve sparked your curiosity!

Link & Drinks | Seamless Networking with Silicon Valley’s Who’s Who

On a daily basis, I am asked about our ever popular “Link & Drink” networking events and when the next one is. Can you believe we have not hosted a Link & Drink in over TWO years? The reasoning is varied but the main reason is we have been so slammed with demands coming from our matchmaking and that it is left us very little room to conceptualize another fabulous soiree.

We are trend setters who have paved the way for the scene in the Silicon Valley. We don’t do things lightly at Linx and when we do another event, it will be really spectacular drawing a crowd of who’s who in the Silicon Valley and beyond. We are planning something special for May of this year.

We also will now be restricting the guest lists to invite-only and remaining firm about that. We want guests at Link & Drink to be able to add value through their respective industries, be thought leaders, and make a positive impact socially.

I am often asked if the Link & Drinks are speed date-sorts of events. The answer is definitely not! The way Link & Drinks are structured is that the main theme is professional networking yet the underlying concept is that many guests happen to be on the market and searching for the love of their life. The pressure is off at Link & Drinks and the atmosphere is super friendly with connections being made right and left.

One of the notable facts about Link & Drinks is that people really do connect. We have had entrepreneurs link up with angel investors for seed deals, CEOs from competitive firms shake hands cordially, Stanford MBA students land interviews, new friendships born, old friends reunite, and of course love connections happen. In fact, engagements and marriages have come out of our Link & Drinks.

If you would like to be considered a guest for our upcoming invite only Link & Drink in May 2014 (exact date TBD) please send me an email at amy@linxdating.com and tell me a bit about your professional background, age, and how you could add value to our VIP mixer.

New Linx Testimonial ! 30-something exec female, Ivy League educated marries incredible man!

“I originally was introduced to Amy in Summer 2010 and heard about Linx from friends who had met and worked with Amy and were very impressed with her and the quality of Linx matches. Living in San Francisco I found it difficult to find the right match who was looking for the same long-term goals as myself. I had had long term relationships with great guys but ultimately the common theme was there were missing pieces for discussions of marriage or they simply where not in the right place to contemplate getting really serious.

I met Amy in June 2010 and the experience was surprisingly great. Her approach is straight forward, honest and she seemed to really get me. I knew this was a leap of faith and I felt in trusted hands and that she could increase my odds and what could I lose in doing this? If anything meet some nice new guys and make a few new friends. Linx placed me across from a few great guys that I would not have met otherwise. Even in the brief amount of time Amy spent me with in her office, she really hit the nail on the head of identifying good guys for me who shared the same goals, background, etc and I would never have met these guys in my normal course of life.

On match 7th, I met my husband. We shared our first date in San Francisco and I felt that he was interesting, cute and really easy to spend time with it just felt easy. We starting spending large amounts of time together very early on and it felt like things evolved very naturally without any stress or different goals he really seemed to understand me and loved me for me quirks and all.

He proposed on a ski trip, the site of our third date on our one year anniversary! He feigned exhaustion one night to stay at the hotel, he had shipped the ring to Colorado (without insurance, thank you FEDEX!) and was in a panic trying to hide it and conceal the surprise. I came back from the spa and the room was decorated with rose petals and my favorite food. When I asked why I was such a lucky girl he said it was to mark our one year anniversary together and then he proposed and ended up putting the ring on the wrong hand. So cute. It was amazing!!!

We married in summer 2013 and lived happily ever after (just kidding this is a true story!)

Linx is great as it opened up my horizons to meet people I would never normally have met, Amy is very professional intuitive and a joy to work with. I highly recommend her service!”