How to Get the girl

Attention Silicon Valley Geeks

One of my favorite, quirky geek films in the 80’s by John Hughes is Weird Science where two high school, dateless geeks use their computer skills to create “the perfect woman” 

 
A lot of us obsessed over this movie but fast forward Linx has become a sort of step back in time allowing cerebral types with callused computer fingers spin out their perfect Kelly La Broc woman. 

In reminiscing about this movie I am reminded of the wonderful pool of guys that come to Linx searching for that “perfect woman.”

These men have just been nose to the grindstone, focused on their academics and career and are ready for love. They come to Linx in search of their life partner but aren’t so sure where to get started and sometimes they just need a bit of date coaching to learn to strengthen their hunter and alpha male qualities.

In the movie the boys create an insanely stunning woman of their dreams who also has magical powers which she uses to carefully steer the normally shy teens in directions where they are forced to be in-charge under pressure.  

I like to think of Linx as this female character in the film in that sense – where instead of magically providing a car, fake IDs and heading to a Blue’s club for some  Bourbon shots, we take the guys exactly as they are and help them own their qualities, polishing them up with excellent sound bytes. We might even go as far as wardrobe consultation, mock dates, and throwing them in simulated environments where we role play.  
 

We pride ourselves in representing such a quality pool of “geeks” because these are the men women are demanding! Women want men who are hard working, passionate about what they do, successful and quirky in their own special way, attentive and honest – the best thing about these men is that all these traits is what women find uber sexy and many of these men don’t even know it!

If you are one of these guys who maybe is shy and wonders what the heck women are thinking half the time, write us. We represent hundreds of good guys like you and can help you land the perfect Weird Science girl of your dreams. Dating is a skill and we are masters of helping our clients learn techniques to achieve your personal goals of finding true love.

Fido Helps You Get the Girl or Guy

Have you thought about the impact a four legged creature could have on going from single and searching to blissfully coupled up?  

Previously, I’ve shared some insight on my beloved pup and how much joy he’s brought to the lives of my husband and I. Now, I’d like to elaborate a bit on why you should get a dog, especially if you’re single! (and of course love pets)

Chances are, you probably haven’t considered how impactful  a dog can be for you in terms of getting more dates.

Why? Here are just a few reasons:

They get you out & about! — this is the first step to meeting more people in the first place, outside of your apartment!

They naturally draw you to the company of other people who already share a common interest (people like you)  – ie. at the vet, the dog park, around town, or just about anywhere you’d be walking or spending time with your dog.

Having a dog really helps you “break the ice” – I see it happening time and time again even when I’m on a stroll with Marshall – if people are within close enough proximity, they will take a moment to make a comment or strike a conversation.

Having a pet gives you something to talk about – sharing training methods, dog foods, funny stories and so on. 

AND if you’re talking about dogs for quite some time – you’ve already surpassed a huge hurdle in the dating world – and that is finding a shared interest. 

Modern Dating

Today I received an email from a new client who really appreciated the document that we attach to all Linx introductions, officially entitled “Linx Dating’s Hints For Successful Dates.”

The number one point I make in this guide is “When you receive your Linx introduction, throw the idea of Googling your match out the window!  Why do you think we stopped sharing last names after all?! There is something very appealing about creating some intrigue and mystery in building up to the first date. If you know too much, it can spoil the fun!”

In reading this document, the new client (a female) emailed me saying, “You are a genius–saving us from the post-feminist catastrophe one match at a time. I love your guidelines for dating! I’m sure everyone feels this way. I was concerned about Googling; since my name is unique, it’s very easy to find me.”   

While she appreciated the simplicity of my date etiquette, I just had a male client text me after he received his Linx introduction asking me what his date’s last name was. Even though this is a VIP client of Linx, I wrote back and said “you know I can’t give that information out, it is private.”

Why would he need to know? What’s the point of revealing something like that? Isn’t a completely customized bio of whom you are going out with enough, including an attached mobile number? I think, in this era, that so many of us feel the need for more. More data = more better?! More data = more comfort in knowing whom you are going out with? Or more data = I will finally find evidence that makes me not want to date this person? What is the point?

It begs the question. What did people do without the internet when dating?  Did you go to the library? Did you call a neighbor? Did you meet at a coffee shop to find out MORE information about your blind date from your friend setting you up? To expand on that, what did people do without mobile phones when dating?

Has the amount of information and technology available hurt the dating scene or enabled more opportunities, deeper resources, and aided in the quest of finding the one? What do you think?

Dating is a Skill

We do a lot of date coaching at Linx. This week I am coaching a young tech exec who has it all going on. He lacks long term relationship experience and as a result,  he second guesses himself.

 Dating is a skill.  Even the most experienced daters need practice, and practice makes perfect.  A lot of people dread the idea of going out on dates- what to say, what to wear, what if there is an awkward silence, what if within 5 minutes you know that he isn’t for you?!? Instead of panicking, we teach our students and clients to  look forward to dating, seeing it as an enjoyable and fun experience through a wide range of techniques held in the privacy of our offices.

One technique is about developing sound bytes for dates.  Sound bytes are short, colorful, positive “clips” about yourself that you can share on dates – it can makes things more fun and effortless.

The key is to inject PASSION each time you use your sound byte on a date.  One sound byte for anyone reading this is to come up with a colorful and short clip about your relationship history. Out of a 10 year relationship that went sour?  Dating after divorce?  Perhaps not had a long-term relationship in years?

Everyone of us has a story and the way you spin it adds zest, color, and excitement on your date. Why dwell on the negativity of why it didn’t work? Instead, I want each of you to think of one of the major reasons why you ended up with that person. He was so smart or she was seriously the most caring girl ever! 

When asked about your last relationship, press “play” in your head as you are about to use your relationship history sound byte. Keep it SIMPLE and SHORT.

Then the KEY is to bring it back in the moment, focusing on who you are out with.

Watch exactly how I would do it….

Him, “When was your last relationship?”

Me, “My last relationship was around 2 years ago, it lasted about 6 months. The thing that attracted me to him was he was really smart. It’s kinda hard to find those people who are seriously wicked smart. I think that’s why I’m actually really excited to get to know you tonight! Mike said you are a NYT crossword champ ;)” 

Him (secretly in his head), I think I am seriously in love with this girl stroking my ego….ahhh.

See how easy that is? Why would you elaborate about how he cheated, how she failed to tell you about her serious debt, how she this, how he  that?  No one wants to hear this. I repeat NO ONE.

If you feel you are one of those TMI (too much information) types on dates, I implore you to get a rubber band. That’s correct a rubber band. Wear it on your wrist and SNAP yourself if you fall into your bad habits when on your dates.

Him, “Do tell me about your last significant relationship.” 

Me, “Oh goodness, where to start! Well, it all went downhill one day when….”

SNAP the freakin rubber band already. It hurts right?

Good, that’s what I thought!  A reminder to keep it simple and to the point in the early stages of dating. Although your date might be smiling out of politeness, one one know what he or she is thinking.

Why not increase your chances of finding love by preparing yourself. Developing a sound byte for your relationship history is just one aspect we focus on here at Linx. Ask us your date questions any time!