How to Get the girl

Engagements and Happiness at Linx

Announcing another amazing Linx couple who is newly engaged! Both are in their mid 30’s, Ivy League MBAs, execs, and extremely dynamic people. He popped the question a little over a year after their very first date in Aspen right after Valentine’s Day! They have a wonderful love story and are in the midst of a lot of exciting planning now. Her ring is one of the most stunning and dramatic sparklers I have ever seen. I called it her “ice cube” on her finger as it is that impressive. Lucky girl! Perhaps they will get married in Aspen?Aspen-Wedding-21

They had both dated a lot on their own before coming to Linx. He was VERY skeptical of Linx before he became a client (even though he was referred in by a former client and trusted source). This gentleman had been in one very bumpy relationship that sort of took the wind out of him, had worked too much, didn’t have any balance in his life, and made excuses along the way.

The day of his meeting with me, he cancelled, sharing, “I lack the time for a relationship and don’t have the interest to move forward.” Was I initially disappointed? Absolutely. Being in business 10 years now and having a deep insight into humans in general, I knew there was much more to the story than that.

I knew I could help him – it was only a matter of shifting his focus and giving him the clarity he needed. Luckily, he agreed (with quite a lot of doubt and huffing and puffing) to simply “take a meeting” with me. We shared stories and instantly clicked, talking for over an hour at my office.

At the end of the meeting, he said something along the lines of, ok what is next, how do I sign up? I had been a catalyst in restoring his faith in love and helping him see that his bar should be set high (to stop dating ‘down’) and to aim for the stars because he is worth it and I knew I could help him.

He took the plunge and did Linx, hit the jackpot with introduction #3, and 13 months later from the time he joined, proposed to a woman who radiates beauty inside and out. He just wrote me, “life is great. :)”   This is just one of the many stories of clients that I have seen over the years at Linx.

Today I received an email from a smart young woman who cancelled her appointment with me as part of our casting week mid week, next week. She said she is tired, in a dating slump, not in a good mental place, and just drained from putting herself out there on dates with “nothing to show.” I told her I can SO relate to that frustrating feeling and sentiment. The honest truth is she isn’t ready at this EXACT moment. I believe if she takes some time off, she will have the mental agility and freshness needed to take a leap forward in the right direction. As they say, it is all about timing!

I brought a brilliant- yes literally- brilliant young woman into Linx today as a new client. 25 years who who went to college at ten years old!  When I was ten, I was still convinced a monster was under my bed at night and I obsessed over My Little Pony and my Pretty Cut & Grow! il_fullxfull.375446842_2az5I was definitely not focused on selecting the right college courses and fretting over advanced calculus!

We also met with a young Silicon Valley engineer today who needed some date coaching. My husband sat in on the meeting to speak guy-to-guy…hoping that might sink in a little bit more for our client. It did. My husband’s sage advice was (and this can absolutely carry over for women when you date):

1. Show empathy on your date. Try to get at the essence about what makes your date tick.

2. In preparation for your date, channel something (this could be anything) that makes you laugh and feel giddy! Carry that energy into your date. Lead with that light hearted, carefree spirit.

3. Stop being mechanical and going through the motions of being on a date. When you let go and dance through the conversation, it will flow much better. My client explained he felt tripped up and stressed when the waiter was late to take the order. I told my client I want him to try to work on a feeling of lingering through the date. Be so enraptured by your date you don’t even NOTICE if something is wrong. When my husband and I had our very first date- get this- the waiter took 2 hours to finally take our order. We laughed, smiled, and rolled with it. We were so engrossed in one another, we didn’t care for a second. 

 

You Gotta Give Him Something To Work With | Subtle Flirting

I just finished a screening with a young and fabulous woman in her mid twenties. She is absolutely stunning, runs a successful business, classy, sweet and a total “whole package” sort of young woman. Spending the last many years focused on her career, she has made some very big changes this year to make dating a priority. She has relocated to a new place outside of her comfort zone, really putting herself out there exercising different avenues to date and find a great match. Today she shared that her trouble has not been getting the dates; it’s getting the men she is interested in to ask her out for date two. 

flirting-11

You see, she’s a good girl and not someone who sleeps around at all. I was able to quickly bypass a lot of layers (since I know men and women quite well in hearing hundreds upon hundreds of stories) and see that she is probably the type who feels guilty/weird/yucky/dirty/fill in the blank when flirting because she thinks if she flirts, a guy will see her solely as a sex object and not take her seriously as a smart young lady. confused-man2
It’s the same dilemma I witness with some of my older female clients who have been these major powerhouses in the business world. For these women (in many cases) where they date after divorce, it is really hard to conceptualize how to flirt without diminishing one’s strengths, smarts, achievements, etc. small-heart
I told this young lady today that there are degrees to flirting and that she can learn to flirt without worrying about portrayed in the wrong light. At the end of the day, remember that men are simple creatures. As simple as they are, you gotta give them a bone at some point. No bone, not a happy, content pup. Bone equals calm doggie and a happy one very satisfied with the person who gave him the bone.small-heart
Give your date something to work with. If you don’t,  he’s quickly going to read that you aren’t into him. In other words, the advice I gave to this young woman is to take a step towards him on the date and do the so called “dating dance” otherwise this potential boyfriend material guy will bucket her as “friend” or worse yet “a business buddy.”Tango Nuevo I
When dating, do the dating tango and step towards him on the date through your verbal and non-verbal actions. Compliment him. If you are feeling good about things, give off a vibe of something along the lines of:
I’m liking tonight
I’m liking you
I’m into this cool restaurant you picked
I’m at ease around you
You make me laugh
You make me LOL 
You’re so cute
You’re so cute I want to kiss you
You’re such a gentleman 
You are different from other guys
I feel good around you
I feel happy right now 
I am in the company of a good guy
You’re super hot
How can you be so smart and down to earth? 
Who said dating is arduous? small-heart
If you are stiff/business-like/one of the boys or simply don’t emote any hint at digging him, he’d rather quickly size you up/down and place you in the “colleague” or “friend” bucket IN FEAR OF getting rejected. small-heart
For all he knows, since you haven’t given any VIBE off, he thinks you don’t like him/ or just cold/uptight. Did you hear that? It’s true. These guys will think you aren’t into them EVEN IF YOU ARE and think he is the cats meow. So girl, work it. You can work it and do it is in subtle and classy way. subtle_flirting_m-425x282

Male emotions are a lot less complex than female emotions. They know what they want and what they don’t want, and they will rarely admit this but they scare easily! From my dating experience  and a matchmaker for over a decade – men don’t typically like to discuss feelings and express interest unless they are certain it’s okay. So, in a nutshell ladies – the right man will be more than happy to be chivalrous and take initiative but if you like him; let him know! Great ways are subtle flirting, complimenting and simply letting him know that you enjoy his company. These things will put the guy at ease and let him know that it’s okay to ask you out on that next date!  small-heart

Use one of my compliments above on your date and see what happens. You can certainly try it verbally or give the vibe of one of the compliments non-verbally. If you are INTO the guy, thank him for being a gentleman and tell him you feel good around him. Smile. Smile again. Hug him at the end of the night. Hold your gaze into his eyes for 15 seconds and see what happens.  Confused? Email me: amy@linxdating.com. We do date coaching every week and take appointments from many non-members of Linx. Don’t be shy. Be bold.

Busiest January Ever!

It’s only January 15th and we are swamped! Love all of you writing us and clients coming in to renew and catch up with us as well. Today we had a meeting with a gorgeous 50-something woman, followed up a catch up with a 50-something VIP gentleman who is super sexy and successful (if you are a 30-40 gorgeous gal, ping me ASAP…this guy wants marriage and babies!), and a lovely interview with a charming and sophisticated 28-year old East Coast bred female who is preppy and smart!  Lots of calls today with clients and matchmaking too.San Mateo-20130115-00762 copy

Lovely fresh flowers at our office this week…..

Tomorrow we have interviews with two gentleman, one who is an accomplished scientist in the Valley and beyond cerebral (early 40’s) and another who is a late 40’s very good looking (slightly shy) venture capitalist.  I love LOVE love my job!

I just ran into two separate couples that I set up over the weekend too. One was at a dinner locally with my hubbie. I did a double take and saw one of our younger Linx couples (both mid 20’s) sitting together with his mother at dinner in the booth next to us. So cute! He introduced me to his mother after their dinner. This couple is so fabulous and living together! Both their VERY FIRST introduction through Linx. Talk about success. The next day, I ran into another Linx couple (both are in their 60’s). He was her first match and she was his second introduction. They were seeing a film together (Life of Pi…a major mist see but be prepared for a serious tear jerker) and I had never seen her so happy before! At peace, radiant, happy, and looking healthy. To find that elusive chemistry….San Mateo-20130115-00763

I‘ve also gotten good feedback from clients about matches they (at first) were a little skeptical about. Maybe from a different look, career, or age. Being open-minded and having a malleable mind and approach is KEY to successful matchmaking. Too restrictive, unrealistic, or close-minded simply doesn’t work for us at Linx. You must let go of the list and trust in this unique ultra-personalized process of matchmaking to see the success you desire. Sometimes matches do not work out after a few dates or months. That is life. Nothing is predicable yet in being open, you substantially increase your odds of meeting that incredible match to call your future husband or wife! IMG-20130114-00759My project is almost finished. A cozy new “passionate” nook in my study. Walls are done. Now waiting to get some art work for my mom to complete the look. 

 

 

Silicon Valley Date Coaching

We are a lifestyle business and offer our clients and friends of Linx a wide range of auxiliary benefits beyond our core competency, matchmaking.

I get a lot of requests from Silicon Valley callus-thumbed engineers looking to get some assistance in techniques to get the girl.

This week we worked with one young gentleman who is such a sweetie and conduced a simulated date in a Menlo Park based restaurant. This mock date helped him with many techniques we had practiced at our office.

A lot of these guys  either don’t have the dating experience (so the thought of going out with a cute girl terrifies them) or they simply don’t know what to say beyond talk of Settlers of Catan, Rails, IRC, AI, and MUDs.

In SV geek culture, that talk is commonplace at work and amongst buddies over video games but when it comes to understanding women and dating them, we teach these guys to best position themselves to get the girl.San Mateo-20130109-00750The actual mock date in Menlo Park

The truth is these guys are exceptionally gifted and very smart. They just don’t always see that they are capable of interesting conversation beyond their comfort zone. Often, they are so knowledgable about a wide range of topics, it simply means helping them pick and choose from topics to cover in the early stages of dating so they are perceived as interesting and passionate.

We also help them with a lot of flirting techniques and commanding control of the date. In other words, not shrinking with doubt in their chair, instead maintaining confidence throughout the entire course of the date and being the so called man.

After 4 sessions in our office, our client was ready for his mock date this week. He absolutely rocked it and made such progress. He felt incredible about himself and those initial nerves that were extremely present in our office date coaching sessions were totally gone on the actual mock date. I moderated his mock date and provided a lot of feedback in real time. These services we offer are beyond invaluable. Where could anyone ever get ‘on demand’ feedback like that in real time?

I’m so proud of this young guy who is now going to totally breeze through his real-life dates and actually have fun! What a small investment for something so huge in life. He overcame jitters, doubt, pessimism, social anxiety around women, and not knowing how to flirt at all. Now he’s actually excited to start dating and hopefully meeting his dream girl.

Lessons Learned from Business | Mantras in Dating

I have had quite a few emails from China from a source (with a Western guys name) asking to help in the request of working with a 20-something Chinese girl (based in China) to locate her a Silicon Valley billionaire, yes b as in billionaire. The guy who has been emailing me says he is represented by her family or something like that and I have always suspected that something doesn’t feel right with this whole thing.

One day out of the blue, I got a business contract sent via email to sign a deal with them when I don’t know ONE thing about this girl or her “type”  (let alone any information about her “dating agent”) other than she needs a billionaire because her family is deep in the political scene or some crock of you know what like that.

I ignored that email and then another one came today asking to move forward. I had suggested when I was in Hong Kong back in the Fall that this so called agent for the girl and I meet up at a public spot like a coffee shop in Pacific Place or something like that. He didn’t respond till much later and then said it was because his wife had a baby and he was needing to take care of the baby. Don’t most wealthy “elite” people have help and nannies to be there for the kids?  Even if the agent is not “elite” by Chinese standards, chances are the duty of a mother is to be with the baby and not the father.

My email response today was straightforward telling this guy I am not interested in doing anything with them. I feel the behavior doesn’t add up and net net, it is not ethnical. In other words, no thanks.

On a daily basis, I get so many business requests from media, other aspiring matchmakers to “team up together”, and of course hundreds of inquires from new friends of Linx about being a VIP, meeting a VIP, and much more.

With the constant excitement of running Linx and sheer intensity of what that major responsibility really means, I always remember to go back to “base line” and remember my original business mantras for when I first started my company. I do this to deal with situations like the wacky email from China today.

Be nimble, act decisively, be intelligent, follow your instincts, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself (integrity), forge ahead, be optimistic, be kind, persevere, don’t get caught up in the drama of it all, be compassionate, listen, listen more, and never shy away from saying no.

I say NO a lot at Linx for a variety of reasons. No, this is not a good fit. No, you are not being realistic with your expectations. No, I don’t really think you trust my intuition. No, we actually don’t use algorithms here. No, I don’t have a large staff. No, you are not ready for matchmaking and need some date coaching. No, your outfit if not date worthy.  No, I don’t have the bandwidth to represent you right now. No, I can’t meet after 7:00pm as I am trying to achieve balance in MY life and have a so called “life.”

Last night I received another email from a lovely sounding woman at Stanford asking if I was “for real.” It really caught me off guard wondering WTF. She explained that up to this point, we have only been communicating via email and as such, am I am “legit business.” I was exhausted after a very intense day of VIP client meetings in San Jose, calls, and conducting a mock date in Menlo Park. I wanted to write her and say, “Actually, you called me on my sh*t. I live in Nigeria and this is a total scam.” but I didn’t.

Humor is essential to run a business like Linx. I had to laugh and be like WHAT is she thinking. Sure, she is doing her so called due diligence but seriously? Acting on that initial instinctual response is sometimes not the right thing to do. Like anything in life, let it simmer and wait to respond for at least 24 hours before you do so. Instead of writing something goofy (which even through I felt like doing but never would have actually done), I knew I needed to wait to respond till the next day. Today I will write something sweet and nice explaining how I am not a scam or robot in Africa wiring money into some shell account and instead a little business owner housed on a historic property in Menlo Park. Hasn’t she read any press on Linx? Hmmm.

Life is full of some of the most twisted ironies. The world is also VERY small. This has played out many times this week. I hear and see so much and not to toot my own horn know a lot and know a ton of people. Ex’s couple up with other ex’s of clients, he dated her, she dated him, she had an affair with his friend, the list goes on. Sometimes in hearing all of this, I need to just go in a cave for a bit. Another lesson of being a good business owner is learning to shut off/down at times. Last night after the absolutely good yet taxing day, I simply had to shut off my laptop. Usually at night I am banging out email after email. Saying No to more emails is OK. It allows one to recharge and do the good old reboot if you will mentally. You will be stronger and ready for the next day.

Interestingly, all of these principles and lessons of business ownership apply to your dating.

Be nimble– in dating you need to be resourceful and wise about how you approach the so called scene.

Act decisively– If you say you will go out, go out. Don’t flake on your date. Follow an East Coast attitude that way. New Yorkers don’t make excuses. West Coasters are notorious for wishy washy, flaky behavior.

Be intelligent– About who you choose to date but also when you are on your date. Brush up on all current events and interesting topics to discuss. Men are attracted to a woman who lights up a room because she is confident and smart. Women are attracted to a man who is confident, well versed, and passionate.

Follow your instincts- Especially with online dating if you feel that someone is not authentic in their profile or there is a shadow of doubt in your mind, don’t go out. Through whatever method of dating, if your gut is saying something about your date, follow what your instinct says. Chances are your instincts are correct.

Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself (integrity)- He wants to sleep with you and you aren’t ready but feel the pressure. Tell him to go ‘you know what himself.’ Kidding. Stand up for yourself and say you don’t sleep together unless there is monogamy. Sex aside, if your date puts you in a compromising situation, speaks poorly of others (and you know that is not how you were raised to be), you must have the conviction to stand up for yourself (and in some cases excuse yourself from the date if it is going that poorly and he is just a total pig).

 Forge ahead– Dating can be draining and often frustrating. A series of poor dates can create a hazy attitude and seeing the so called “silver lining” becomes dismal and bleak.  Take a mini break from dating if you are in a rut. After your 2 week “hiatus”, forge ahead and march on.

Be optimistic– some stat I found says that 44% of the adult American population is single. That translates to over 100MM people. Those are a lot of fish in the dating pond. View the pond as a sea and start exploring options today. Also always be an optimist on a date. No one wants to be out with Debbie Downer or Serious Sam. Eeek.

Be kind- to those in your life. Compliment your date. Be kind to the waitstaff. In other words, be a nice person. People are very critical of others especially on first dates. Remember that your date is observing you and watching you. Snapping at the waitstaff, mocking others, or being rude to your date will simply become red flags for your match.  Be someone that others want to be around. Be likable! 

Persevere and don’t get caught up in the drama of it all– When you meet someone right for you, chances are you aren’t going to be asking for all your friends advice. When someone is questionable that you meet, chances are you will be emailing and calling Mom, girlfriends, etc about your date and deconstructing every part of your date.  Everyone always wants to be in each other’s business. Sometimes when it comes to dating, the best thing is to keep your personal life close to you and that is it. Otherwise, everyone will have an opinion and all of a sudden, that can convolute your perception and experience with the person you might like.

Be compassionate- Make a manta to yourself to be empathetic, smile, listen, do small acts of kindness, step into your dates shoes, don’t be judgmental, let your guard down, be vulnerable, admit you are not perfect, be deep, show passion. In other words,  do to others what you would have them do to you.

Listen- “The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” —Ralph Nichols

Listen more- A lot of men and women tell me that they are most impressed when their date later recalls something they said. Focus on your date, put virtual horse blinders on, and listen. Listening and remembering is a huge form of flattery.

Never shy away from saying no– to anything that doesn’t feel right to you when dating.

Silicon Valley Dating

We just interviewed a very impressive 50-something scientist and entrepreneur in the Silicon Valley. A true pioneer in his field professionally, loving father, and all around reinassance man. Tall, commanding, intellectual, and romantic! He’s also very kind, easy to talk to, and sincere.

Even the most confident and sexy man welcomes our subtle dating advice about strengthening one’s dating game. During his interview this week, we picked up on that he is SO passionate about his work. We worried that talk of work might dominate the conversation on a date and as a direct result could feel much more like a business meeting than a hot date for both parties.

Get to the bedroom, not the boardroom I interjected. He smiled and nodded his head. My assistant gave him some solid advice about dialing back the talk of work and playing up discussions of some of his hobbies, as well as, not forgetting to ask her questions! Dale Carnegie 101! Show a genuine interest in other people. This same principle carries over to the dating game. Ask without feeling interview-like. Be sincere and genuine.

Today I received an email from him sharing, “I was impressed by your thorough evaluation (and appreciated the tip about “keeping it light” and flirtatious; ie. avoiding too much talk about science.)” 

We love our clients and give them the necessarily tools in order to succeed. Today I guided another client when she asked the simple (yet important) question of what to wear on her first date. Since I know each and every client and their preferences, I gave her the necessary insights into him. He likes his dream woman to be confident, slightly understated, natural, and with a philosophy of less is more.

Thus, I told her wear a conservative monochromatic dress, closed toe pumps, very simple jewelry, and light natural make-up. Stay away from wild prints, cleavage exposed at all, and anything too flashy. A 2013 Jackie-O look! cn5685881This sort of classic sheath from Banana Republic is ideal for her date. Feminine sweetheart neckline, pretty, and elegant. I’d accent this with a cute trench for rainy nights and colorful pashmina, some classic stud earrings, and a necklace like Banana Republic’s ‘Deco tassle necklace’ for under $30. cn5353636

It is impossible to get these insights from other forms of dating. Online sites could never share these highly personalized preferences and most other matchmakers never really get to know their clients (so many these days simply interview “meet” their clients over Skype and never in person!)

Linx Dating Confidential | Female, 52, school teacher

This friend of Linx shared that a man is desirable when he does what he says he will do. Simple right?

She shared a woman is sexy when she is feminine, strong, yet vulnerable. She is demure, classy…without wanting attention. She is good at conversation and listening, while adding something. She is adventurous…..she is curious about life and willing to try anything at lease once, while finding joy and laughter in all things along the way.

For her, the hardest thing about the dating scene are passive men who expect the female to do the pursuing. To read her questionnaire, simply click and zoom on the image.

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Ask Amy Anything!

As Linx continues to grow by leaps and bounds with our membership, we have been getting more and more requests from friends and clients of Linx to ask me anything dating and relationship related.  Music to enjoy for this entry is Justin Bieber featuring Nicki Minaj. Every once in awhile a little cheese it ok. It’s catchy….

We have a new feature on the Linx website where you will see a grey button at the top left of every page. Simply click on it and it will directly port to email where you can ask me anything that is on your mind and I will do my very best to address each one either through an email back to you or as an anonymous Q and A on my blog.

Here are some questions that have trickled in this week into my inbox and my very quick answers in a nutshell.

Q: When is it appropriate to sleep with the guy I am into? We haven’t become exclusive yet and I can barely keep my hands off him. Help!

A: Depending on your personal goals of ending up with this fabulousman, you need to wait till you are exclusive. If you give in and sleep with him as sexy as he is, he will have gotten everything he wants. If it seems pretty clear that he is wildly attracted and into you as well (and respects you and is treating you well outside of the bedroom), I would think it will be pretty natural to have a talk about becoming exclusive. Simply say you are an old-fashioned girl who was raised a certain way and doesn’t sleep around. You also don’t sleep with a man till you are exclusive. If he is into you, he will wait and wait and wait! Good luck! Once exclusive you can crank up The Isley Brothers “Between The Sheets.” 😉

Q: I am a newly divorced dad of 3 young kids and am nervous about getting out into the dating scene. My kids have a mom and I don’t want women to think that I need her to be their mom. What to do? 

A: Dating after divorce can definitely be challenging and present a whole slew of new factors that you never knew were out there. Your first date sound byte to this lucky female is that you are newly divorced and one of your greatest passions are your three beautiful children ages (X, Y, Z). You have joint custody (or whatever your situation is) and they see their mom every other week. On the off weeks you do your own thing and on the weeks you have them you bunker down into dad duty. Although things did not work out with their mom, you have a healthy relationship with her and she is a GREAT mother (never tear your ex a new one no matter your relationship with her.) Then you change the subject and pay your date a genuine compliment and focus on the moment and getting to know her.

Q: I work at Stanford campus and am pretty shy to begin with. When I take breaks for lunch or coffee I see some of the cutest guys ever. How do I go about having them pay attention to me? 

A: My sister and I were walking at Stanford two nights ago and saw a David Beckham look-alike. Her jaw dropped and she was like Ummmmm he is hot and the funny thing is he totally checked her out! So there are gorgeous and brainy babes all over. There are a variety of methods for you to seek the chaps attention.  First dress the part to attract the right guy you want in your life. Be feminine and classy. In my sisters case we were exercising. So in that case, dress in tasteful, clean, and attractive workout clothes. Second, go up to him and ask him a question. If you are working at Stanford chances are you are a genius but in reality there is nothing wrong with sometimes playing a little dumb. I’m not saying to be a clueless ditz, I’m suggesting pulling out your naive card for this opportunity. Ask him where something is on campus. For all he knows today is your first day at work on this big, big, scary campus! Make eye contact, smile, then pay him a small compliment. An example….Hi…I am wondering if you can tell me where Coupa is at the GSB….ohhh..great….(eye contact, lock eyes, smile)….I like your kicks. I’ve never seen Nike make those.  At this point, hopefully you can stike up a flirty convo and see where it takes you. Have fun!

Q: I have a major crush on my boss but he is married with a beautiful wife and baby on its way. I would never do anything to break up their marriage but I can’t stop thinking about him. Is there something wrong with me? 

A: An attractive and confident man is a sexy thing. It sounds like you are human to have developed an innocent crush. Innocent is thinking about him, thinking he is cute, having a soft spot for him while maintaining your professionalism. A crush steps into very dangerous territory if you channel Alicia Silverstone from The Crush and fixate on him to the point where it is inappropriate or ever come on in a sexual manner. You have a strong intuition and chances are you know what is right and wrong. If you want to keep your job, keep your crush benign.

Q: I hate when construction workers and other guys driving by cat call me and make me feel degraded. Should I just tell them to f*ck off or ignore them? As a strong woman (yet a sensual and very feminine one), I feel women need to stand up and let men it is inappropriate to do this. 

A: Yes women do need to stand up for themselves but in this case I think the best strategy to just keep walking. I will share a hilarious scene from Sex in the City when Miranda gets cat called renting  a five-hour Danish documentary on the Nuremberg trial (and a pound of gummy bears to boot….remember?)

(Sleazy construction worker) “Hey, hey, it’s my sweetheart. You’re looking good, baby. Good enough to eat. Hey, where you going, doll ? I got what you want. I got what you need.”

(Miranda) “You talkin’ to me?”

(Construction worker) “Oh, we got a live one, boys.”

(Miranda) “You got what I want ? You got what I need ? Uh-Huh. Well, what I want is to get laid!” 

What NOT To Do ! Guys Fashion

I am currently en route to a birthday party for a young Silicon Valley mogul. A lot of his guests are on a bus en route to Hearst Castle for an evening of celebration.

Dah-ling…our featured song is an old school one- Right Said Fred…I’m Too Sexy. Don’t you remember playing with your friends walking on the fake cat walk? Ok, maybe that was just me. 

Only in Silicon Valley would you discover a lovely young male bus passenger looking quite dapper UNTIL you realize the tags are still on his sport coat including the stiching still on the back of the jacket from the manufactuer.

Oy vey! Speed dial fashion police dah-ling. Being friendly to all (including the worst fashion offenders), I mentioned it to him casually and he has yet to remove (oddly his GF wasn’t aware either nor has encouraged him to remove.)

http://voices.yahoo.com/sewn-pockets-other-strings-snip-buying-6836494.html

Are tags on clothes the “new new” of the who’s who in the Valley?!

Advice for Men on Getting to Date Two

How to find her and make her yours!

The secret?

Silicon Valley has thrived from men and women leading with their cerebral intensity. When it comes to matters of the heart, that intensity doesn’t always translate to finding love!

advise our male clients to get out of your head! When dating, it’s very easy to get stuck in your head and having a million thoughts and questions running through your head i.e. “Is she into me? Should I ask her out again? Is she enjoying the date? What is she thinking?” 

Remember that this takes away from you being fully present. When you are on a date and thinking about how to get to that second date – just be frank. If you like her, let her know. If you want to see her again, let her know. It’s really a lot simpler than you think – so, get out of your head, be present and 

man up to the dating challenge of actually not playing games. In other words, tap into emotion. How are you feeling? Women are looking for a man who is not only very smart from an IQ stand point but who has at least some self-awareness and EQ.  

Beyond this guys, while on the date, you must be attentive. This goes along with getting out of your head. When you are fully present, you are engaging in the conversation, picking up on signals, paying attention to details of the conversation, making eye contact, being aware of your body language, and complimenting her.

I am always astonished at the number of men who feel they don’t need to pay a compliment. Yes you do! These women make an effort leading up to the first date. She might get a nice mani & pedi, buy a cute flirty dress, and take dating seriously. A compliment disarms a woman, puts her more at ease, and creates a recipe for potential romance.

By getting out of your head and being attentive to your date, these are the baby steps towards achieving your personal goals at landing the woman of your dreams.