1. How did you get into matchmaking – why do you do what you do?
2. How, and from where, do you source potential matches as “leads” and what is your subsequent vetting process? In other words, what is the “secret sauce?”
3. Are my ideal match criteria realistic and do you honestly feel that you have high quality candidates for me in your existing database or would you need to source outside the current database?
4. At what point does a “match” become “official?” May I veto potential matches or do you unilaterally make that call?
5. Tell me about a recent success story of yours and why you matched that particular couple.
Finding Love
Finding Love After IPO
You’ve poured your life into building your business. Long hours, lack of sleep, endless meetings have been your priority and, now, your time and dedication has paid off—your company is going public.
And, just like that, your social presence grows overnight. You’re inundated with speaking requests. You’re also inundated with a lot of romantic interest.
I’ve met several executives eager to re-prioritize their personal goals in the wake of an IPO. I’ve seen them struggle to find the right person—or even just a legitimate date—after coming into wealth and extra publicity. Ironically, for these clients, I’ve seen the dating space morph into a minefield of sorts.
How do you know if your next date is dating you for the right reasons?
How can you be sure that your private dating life stays private?
How will you know where to find the most eligible singles?
Just as you would hire a personal trainer to get fit or an accountant to organize your finances, I’ve been hired countless times to help extremely discerning clientele find their next partner.
To help my clients understand what they want in their next relationship and how to get it, I compare the process for finding the right partner to building a business.
- What problem are you trying to solve?
Perhaps you’re trying to remedy loneliness or are interested in building partnership. Maybe you’d like to “feel alive” with no strings attached, or you’re finally thinking it’s time to start a family. Most successful products and businesses are created to solve a specific problem—what’s yours?
Not sure where to start?
Envision your future. In five years, what kind of life do you envision? Where are you living? What are you doing? What would your mother say about you? How would your best friend describe you? Write it down.
- Set realistic expectations about the process.
What steps will you take in the short term to help meet your goals? Clients tend to be clear on their goals, but they can get a little lost on the game plan.
Some questions to ask yourself:
How much time do you plan to carve out per week to devote to your dating life?
How will you meet new people?
How will you date? Casual introductions over wine? Grand romantic gestures?
- Keep Iterating.
The qualities you look for may change during the dating process. Be open to the process and be prepared to adjust your ideas accordingly. Whereas it’s perfectly natural to have preferences (don’t we all?), you might find that your more urgent needs are satisfied by someone without the specific packaging.
Tip: Compromise on the packaging, never the standards.
- Hire your Weaknesses.
The demands of growing an empire may have distracted you from fine tuning your dating skills. Constant travel and other obligations may have limited your interactions to people in your professional network. Instead of trying to solve every problem at once, heed the words of billionaire Spanx founder Sara Blakely and “hire your weaknesses.”
Find the person you can trust; the person who has demonstrated enough experience in the realm of long-term relationships to help you make the best decision of your life. In the wake of money, media attention, and limited time, an extra pair of eyes, ears, and vetting could pay a lifetime of dividends.
With over a decades’ worth of experience serving high-profile clientele, I’m privy to the unique demands and sensitivities involved in the search for partnership. If you’re ready to hand off the reins to Silicon Valley’s leading matchmaker, get in touch.
Love and best wishes ❤️,
Amy
New Year, New Resolutions: 7 Ways to Make 2019 Your Year for Love
If you’re ready to make 2019 a year of unforgettable connection, I want to give you the best chance of success. The road to love does involve some work; it’s more than just taking risks, it’s also about letting go of the habits that hold us back. To get your 2019 started right, follow these 7 tips to simplify and expedite your path to a meaningful, fulfilling love life.
- Ditch the lukewarm arsenal of safe bets.
If you’ve been dating, chances are you’ve met some great people but, as great as they are, just aren’t a great fit for you. If you’ve accumulated a collection of “friends” and have found yourself “staying in touch” late at night or spending all your precious free time together, it’s time to cut the cord. Every moment you spend with someone who isn’t your match prolongs the wait for the right person. Harsh? Yes. Necessary? Absolutely.
Example: As much as I should love having a glorious, no strings attached relationship, I’m going to try my luck at finding something serious. I want you to know that you didn’t do anything wrong; it’s just that I’m planning to try something new. Wanted to make sure you weren’t left wondering what happened.
- Let your on again, off again relationship rest in peace.
If you broke up, the relationship is, well, broken. If you have separated or called it off, and are thinking about trying again, ask yourself: “What has actuallychanged?”
Loneliness summons all types of uncomfortable feelings—like regret—while also only allowing you to see the good times and forget the reasons that led to the break-up in the first place.
Don’t let these lonely feelings fool you into trying again with someone you were certain wasn’t right for you or someone who was certain you weren’t right for them. The relationship isn’t right, especially at this time, so give yourself the space to grow.
- Leave the ghosts of your past where they belong: the past.
Heartbreak is a part of life. If you’ve looked for connection, you’ve experienced the pain of losing it. Spending time discussing the ghosts of relationship past will only allow them to keep haunting the future. Each time you choose to relive the happy moments of a past relationship or rant about where an ex went wrong, you resurrect a broken relationship from the dead. Give your new relationship every opportunity to thrive; keep the ghosts at bay.
- Evaluate how much you want a relationship. Align your behavior accordingly.
Just because you are single doesn’t mean you are seeking a relationship; behavior is the only true indicator of what you truly want. I say this—as obvious at it seems—because so many times people want a relationship but do not do the work to be in one. If you want to be in a relationship, get matched, say yes to new people, make a move. Do something! It might not feel good, but it will prove that you are actively pursuing your personal goals.
- Refuse to negotiate the red flags.
If you like someone, it’s easy to let the feelings of infatuation cloud better judgment. Instead of making excuses for someone else’s error, re-claim your power by making very intentional mental notes.
If your date, for example, is going hard on the drinks and you find yourself unimpressed or concerned, you can try one of two approaches:
- I have noticed that my date is drinking beyond what makes me comfortable. I am choosing to note this for now. If it happens again, I will choose to be with someone who makes me feel less concerned.
- I am uncomfortable with my date’s drinking and have decided that I want to be comfortable. I choose to move on.
Every time you make an excuse for someone, you are stripping away your ability to make a choice. Once you break the habit of being forced to accept to being able to choose, you will feel much more aware of your standards and much less open to people who don’t meet them.
- If the present fulfills you, don’t let the future stress you.
Have you met someone who makes you feel fantastic? Get familiar with those feelings and let yourself experience them totally! Too many times, I have seen clients sabotage happy, functional relationships in their efforts to “know where it’s going”. Sometimes, the most challenging part of a blossoming relationship is allowing it to unfold organically. If you do find yourself pushing for answers early on, consider the source of your fears and giving yourself time to sort them out before they jeopardize your next connection.
- Discover what makes you most magnetic.
Whereas people have their preferences when it comes to physical looks, no one argues with the allure of a happy person. That happy energy—the joy of genuine contentment—is universally attractive. Discovering those things that make you feel alive—cooking, hosting, fixing, building—whatever it is, will help you broadcast something special. Cultivate your own happiness and let that new energy work for you.
If you’re intent on making the magic happen this year, consider outsourcing some of the work to the professionals. I receive dozens of new clients who want to meet people beyond their traditional circles. Get in touch! Maybe I’ve just added your next match to my rolodex.
I’m sending you best wishes for happiness and love in 2019!
Warmly,
Amy Andersen
Founder & CEO
Linx Dating LLC
This Week at Linx
Just in…a nice little testimonial from a client of Linx…
I had a great experience with Linx & Amy. She listened to me very well in the interview, & within a year, she had 2 good matches for me. The first one in September; the second one in June. One match was so close that we dated for a year, & we have remained wonderful friends.I have recommended my friends to her. Match-making is not a science; it’s not a sure thing to find a match. But the odds are better than other services where there is no screening (other than by yourself) or going out to advertised “singles” events. Her pricing is steep but life is like that at times.
This week has been super crazy busy at work especially with the mention in the Sunday style section of The New York Times. 
Lots of great inquires from all over have been landing in my inbox. I’ve received so many emails from prospects- especially really young movers and shakers in tech (think FB, Twitter, Palantir, Box) and a lot of folks in the VC and angel investment community as well. From San Francisco, to San Jose, Atherton, to Manhattan, and Newport Beach. Funny how the NYT mentioned LinkedIn as a resource for me scouting talent. I haven’t logged into my LinkedIn profile in probably twelve years. No offense Mr. Jeff Weiner. wink wink.
With Halloween right around the corner, why not head out in true Silicon Valley style with your own chic personalized dress-literally. 
Wearing your Facebook profile as a dress takes social media to a whole new level. Talk about an ice breaker!
I‘ve seen a funny trend in the past two weeks with multiple couples coupling up who share the same name. For instance three male clients named Mark who were matched to three totally different girls named Sally and now each new couple reports back that they are going exclusive. Mark + Sally couple #1, Mark + Sally couple #2, and Mark + Sally couple #3. I haven’t seen that one ever actually. Had some great meetings today with clients and prospects and the rest of the week is about matchmaking, client calls, and some fun work related projects. That’s all for now.
Follow me on Twitter @linxdating
The BBD
I was around 28 years old living in San Francisco at the time and was quite taken by this San Francisco bachelor who was pursuing me. It was a setup from a friend. On paper he was perfect. Mid 30’s, good looking, stable job in finance,
funny, and athletic. 
We had had many fun dates together and, up until this point, in my mind, I thought everything was going just fine. I was dating others, I’m pretty sure he was dating others, but it felt good, it felt right.
He invited me out one school night evening to Harry’s Bar on Fillmore Street in the heart of Pacific Heights. Heading into the date, I got my hopes up that maybe, just maybe, he would bring up the exclusivity conversation. 
The date was really casual. I don’t think we ordered food, just a glass of wine. He seemed pretty distracted that night and more serious than on other dates we had had. My hope of getting serious with Mr. Perfect-On-Paper boy seemed to be slipping away very quickly in watching his behavior that night – mannerisms, verbally, etc. 
Was my hair out of place, did I wear the wrong dress, did I have something in my teeth? He started looking around the room and looking “over” me, almost as if he were looking for a friend who was meeting him later.
“What are you doing?” I asked him….
“Ahh….(smiling), the BBD” he stated in confidence and almost rehearsed.
“The BB, what-uha?” I inquired, nervously……
“The Bigger Better Deal” he said.
As I started to sink into my chair, shoulders tensing up, heart fluttering, and all dating confidence down the drain, he then had the nerve to explain what it meant. It was the pervasive mentality amongst these perfect-on-paper San Francisco bachelors that they could be out with someone who was great, but in their mind, the grass is almost always greener. There just HAS to be someone skinner, funnier, smarter, happier, more interesting, and goodness knows what else. 
That night, it was literally like an episode of ABC’s “The Bachelor” – he said to me that “he has been dating many others” and the chemistry he felt towards me was SO POWERFUL and amazing yet he felt that his connection to one of these other women in his “harem” was more of an intellectual one. Thus, I was “eliminated” from his dating game. 
I was no longer one of the girls in his bevy of ladies living up to eagerly go out with him. I had been rejected. Sadly, there was no rose at the end of this
night. I headed home, poured myself into my work further and knew there had to be some silver lining in all of this dating in San Francisco.
That night was absolutely one of the nuggets of dating wisdom I needed to propel me to give notice for my little studio, get out of dodge, and head back to the Silicon Valley where maybe, just maybe, these “good guys” who had been too busy with work to date wouldn’t have a clue what the BBD was, nor never would.
Linx Line 