elite dating service

Spring is here! April updates and Linx testimonials

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Last week, I hosted my first Link & Drink cocktail party in nearly 4 years and what a night it was! For those of you who have attended Link & Drinks in past years, you might recall they really exploded with popularity. Picture 500+ guests mingling, meeting, networking, and sparks flying for quite a few guests.

Despite the national and international attention my events received- especially after Vanity Fair featured Link & Drink, I realized they needed to evolve into something exclusive and intimate. As such, instead of blasting my database and letting guests invite a gaggle of their friends, I decided to limit my next mixer to 50 and have it be 100% private- including keeping the location on the DL, off social media, and no last names of guests given to any attendees for privacy.

I curated an elite list of Silicon Valley who’s who- from female entrepreneurs, financiers, techies, CEOs, etc. Some of my guests flew in from Southern California, Texas, and Washington DC and arrived with an open-mind, open-heart, and approachable disposition. Everyone wore cocktail attire- the women looked beyond spectacular in satin dresses and heels and the men looked dashing in sport coats and slacks.

Guests sipped exquisite cocktails, fine wines (Neyers chardonnay and Faust cabernet), French champagnes, and enjoy passed hors d’oeuvres after work and felt relaxed.  This was no “Millionaire Matchmaker” episode in the works with forced connections and a plethora of awkward, dramatic moments.  After the event ended, around 20 of us went to a restaurant next door for more bites, cocktails, and conversation. Laughter filled the room and new and old friends continued to have fun till nearly 11pm. Some guests

A handful of my guests shared the most lovely feedback and follow-ups on my mixer…

“I attended one of Linx Dating’s “Link and Drink” events and had a fantastic time. The venue, food and drinks were all great, and I had fascinating conversations with several really interesting people (men and women alike). The event was in a pretty small space, so it was very intimate, and the crowd seemed to be everything that Linx promises — beautiful, successful and jet setting (I met two people who had flown in just for the party). Amy is an amazing host who flittered around the party making introductions and making everyone feel comfortable and welcome….my only complaint is that they don’t happen more frequently!”

“Linx Dating is the crème-de-la-crème of matchmaking.  Amy goes above and beyond to make sure that every client and event is nothing short of exceptional. She thinks through every detail and is truly passionate about helping people find love. I’ve seen this first hand.  I appreciate Amy’s sincerity, but more importantly — honesty.  In an arena that is not so easy to navigate– especially in the digital age, Amy has this intuition that I can’t quite explain. A decade ago, I use to work for Amy; since then, I have been a fan of hers ever since.  It is heartening to see her bring together countless couples to find their happily ever after.” 

“I attended Amy’s recent Link and Drink event and had an amazing time. It was at a beautiful venue in San Francisco and was so tastefully put together. I drank sparkling rosé while mingling with other guests. Amy is particular about the clients she represents and is very well connected in the Silicon Valley. She is extremely professional and great at what she does. She’s told me about various success stories of her clients and you can tell that she’s so passionate about what she does, which is an important trait to have as a match maker. While I’m sure the business of matchmaking can be done in all different ways, Linx is extremely classy and tactful. I’d absolutely recommend Linx to anyone looking to get into the dating scene. You won’t be disappointed!”

 

“THANKS SO MUCH AMY!!!! So awesome seeing you. Super super appreciate the invite!!! Such awesome people. Was telling my sister about the event haha she says she’s down to be set up! And me too :))) Happy to help you source, have a ton of awesome single friends!! Thanks again! Met some cool people – grabbing drinks with (name removed for privacy) tomorrow.”

 

“The recent Link & Drink mixer Amy organized was a blast! I had such a great time! Amy did an amazing job. Venue was very cool. Participants were so different, but Amy helped to break the ice. Awesome networking, great connections! It was such a pleasure to be a part of it!”

 

“Great fun last night Amy, you put on a really lovely event.  Interesting group of people and fantastic venue. I did get (name removed for privacy) number and will keep you posted on progress with her.”

 

“Great seeing you on Thursday, and thanks again for inviting me to your event!  I had a good time meeting a bunch of folks there.  You surround yourself with a great network of people.”

 

“I’m the one who owes you another round of hearty thanks. Kudos for organizing a lovely event! I really enjoyed myself and so appreciated the opportunity to take part in the fun.”

 

“I met some really nice people who were surprisingly open about their love lives. In a good way — not a bad way. I am a believer in the idea of allowing love and chemistry to build, but I know not everyone feels that way.”

 

“Thank you so much for a fabulous evening on Thursday, I think it was a great event with lots of interaction going on:).  I personally enjoyed meeting different men and chatted with few that appeared quite interested.  I have cards from 5 men!”

 

“It was a fantastic evening….Please do let me know if you find yourself in Washington DC.”

 

“You always throw such a tasteful event. Sorry I couldn’t stay longer.  The drawbacks of being the boss….”

 

“I thought your event was super, the people classy, and it seemed that everyone enjoyed themselves, so that is success in itself. You are the master at introductions…you must have a memory of a steel trap:)”

 

If you would like to be considered as a guest at our summer cocktail soiree in the San Francisco Bay Area please send an inquiry to Amy Andersen at: amy@linxdating.com and tell her a bit about yourself. Happy Spring to all!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How and When to Talk Kids with Your Date

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When it comes to deal breakers, we start filtering with the usual suspects: smoking, level of education, religious background, etc. However, life goals—like the decision to have children or not—shouldn’t be treated any differently.

 

According to the US Census Bureau’s survey in 2014, 28.9 percent of women between the ages 30-34 are . This percentage is at an all-time high and, according to other surveys, this trend isn’t stopping anytime soon. Women are postponing pregnancy or not having children at all. For many women thinking about their waning fertility, the topic of kids—to have them or not—is a topic better had sooner than after months of dating.

 

Although men don’t have a biological clock to contend with, they might have family expectations of their own or want to be sure their partner wants to remain before committing. In one poll conducted by the Associated Press in 2013, more than 8 in 10 men said they were interested in becoming fathers. With men’s continued desire to procreate and more women opting to postpone pregnancy, figuring out where kids—or if—kids fit into the plans is a crucial milestone.

 

Talking about future family plans is important, but it’s a tricky conversation to initiate. Women worried about family planning will want to initiate the conversation sooner, but often they do so at the risk of scaring potential partners off or making their partners feel like sperm donors. Men, on the other hand, might feel like they’re adding pressure to their partners to bear the burden of pregnancy.

Step 1. Consider timing.

 

The first three dates should not reference a future. Talking about your future life together before spending enough time together sends a desperate message: Your partner’s personality and behavior isn’t that important. If you’re bringing up kids before establishing any real connection, your partner will feel more like a means to an end instead of being an actual end.

 

The best time to weave hopes of a future family is when the relationship is transitioning from dating to something more serious. When it’s safe to assume you’ll see each other rather than wondering if you’ll see each other, you can start weaving in references to a future family without any kind of pressure-inducing discussion.

 

Step 2. Consider your word choice.

 

When you talk about a future family, nix the deadlines. The point of the conversation is to understand where your partner falls on the family-planning spectrum—not when you’d like to get pregnant/impregnate.

 

If you’re sure you want children, try:

  • I never thought I’d say this, but I’m actually looking forward to driving a minivan full of little leaguers.
  • Not now, but in the next few years, I’d be interested in starting a family.

 

If you’re sure you do NOT want children, try:

  • Although I enjoy kids, I’ve never felt the call to have my own. I want to make sure you know that upfront, so you don’t miss out on any life experiences you might be looking forward to.

 

If you aren’t sure about having children, try:

  • I haven’t spent too much time thinking about my future family. I think so much of that answer depends on my partner.

 

Step 3. Get honest about your needs.

 

If you’re sure you don’t want children and you know your partner does, do the right thing and set your partner free. To continue dating despite misaligned future paths is a waste of time for both of you. If, on the other hand, you’re sure you do want kids, and your partner doesn’t feel the same, do not waste your precious time trying to convince him or her otherwise.

Pheromones and Attraction

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Have you ever found someone completely irresistible, but you’re not sure why? Some scientists argue that we might be picking up on someone’s genetic compatibility with our sense of smell.

When we smell something, tiny odor molecules bind to receptor cells that travel directly to the brain for processing. Smell—unlike the other senses—is analyzed almost instantly. This rapid analysis is the reason why smelling something familiar can trigger an emotional response instantly, and sometimes these responses can be quite powerful. Think of the last time you smelled chocolate chip cookies. Did you feel a cozy, comfortable feeling? What about popcorn? Did you find yourself in an upbeat, casual mood?

If smells can solicit hefty emotional responses, can they trigger us to have romantic feelings?

Scientists still debate the answer, but they all can agree that the discussion starts with pheromones.

Pheromones describe the special cocktail of chemicals that our body releases that may influence the way people behave towards us. These chemicals—when smelled—are known to stimulate the hypothalamus, a part of the brain known to regulate sexual behavior, mood, and hormones.

To figure out how sensitive we are to pheromones, Swiss zoologist Claus Wedekind conducted “The Sweaty T-shirt Experiment.” He instructed 44 different men to wear the same t-shirt two consecutive nights. After collecting the t-shirts, he asked 49 different women to sniff each t-shirt and rate the odor for intensity, pleasantness, and sexiness.

Results showed that the women preferred the odors from men whose DNA was most different from their own. Because choosing a mate with a similar genetic makeup can cause a host of genetic complications for an offspring, the women’s choices show that they have an ability to analyze and gravitate towards men who guarantee greater reproductive success. In other words, women preferred sexual experiences with men who smelled a certain way.

Pheromones also solicit responses based on sexual preferences, not biological sex. In another study conducted by Dr. Ivanka Savic and colleagues at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, a group of men—some straight, some gay—and women were asked to rate attractiveness to two different pheromones. Both the gay men and women responded strongly to the male pheromone, whereas the heterosexual males preferred the female pheromone almost exclusively.

Despite the science, there is no real way to determine the true effect of pheromones; There are simply too many mitigating factors. For example, it’s impossible to confirm the real reason we gravitate towards certain people we find attractive. It could be the scent they carry, but it also could be related to personality, confidence, appearance, or status.

If pheromones can influence sexual responses, is it possible to recreate certain smells to make yourself more sexually desirable?

Unfortunately, pheromones are an elusive mix of natural chemicals, impossible to replicate in a lab. To date, scientists (and fragrance companies) have not been able to get to the heart of what exactly makes up pheromones, how they are created, or how to emulate them. Some companies tout “love potions”, but these are most likely gentle, pleasant fragrances.

Pheromones could be influencing attraction, but it’s more likely a combination of factors with pheromones playing some small role. Visual cues, body language, and the quintessential “chemistry” of how your personalities mesh all play into your perception of a potential romantic encounter.

 

6 Signs He’s Boyfriend Material

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During the first stages of dating, it’s tough to know if your current date situation is worthy of a more in depth investment—with your time and your emotions. Here are 6 telltale signs that the one you’re seeing has the stuff that boyfriends are made of.

 

  1. He remembers the little things.

Men who are genuinely interested keep track of information that is specific to you—your favorite movies, foods you dislike, places you want to see. Though they may not appear actively engaged, you’d be surprised with how many details they’re absorbing.

 

Here’s what it looks like: He knows you get cold—even when it’s 70 degrees outside. He will make sure you know where to find a blanket or he’ll set aside his favorite sweatshirt or oversized sweater just for you.

 

  1. His values his family.

Staying connected with the parents and siblings reveals that he’s able to maintain relationships with the ones who matter most. Even if drama lingers at home, he has a way of seeing the bigger picture. A guy who prioritizes his family will be more likely to invest in a family of his own and sustain a relationship with you through for the long haul.

 

Here’s what it looks like: He talks about his sister’s upcoming visit…and hopes you will be available to meet her.

 

  1. He has excellent follow though.

If he says he will call, he does. He doesn’t just talk about plans; he actually makes them. If he’s serious, you won’t need to push or prod to see action; he’s happy to orchestrate gestures—big and small—to keep things interesting.

 

Here’s what it looks like: When my client’s date had to fly out for work travel, my client said he would pick her up when she returned. Unfortunately, the date’s plane was delayed. Despite an 11:30 p.m. arrival, he was there to drive her home.

 

  1. He puts you first.

There is nothing more telling about a man’s intentions than the way he prioritizes your needs over his. We’re not talking about a man doormat; we are talking about someone who is committed to ensuring that his date is comfortable and happy.

 

Here’s what it looks like: My friend felt ill at a basketball game with her date. Instead of asking her to stay till half time or getting annoyed about losing out on the great seats, he found her some Advil and quickly escorted her home. The next day he called to check on her.

 

  1. He communicates with you often.

Despite his busy schedule, he always makes time to check in. It’s not the length of the message that counts; it’s the frequency. You might get a text, a phone call, or even a social media nod. Whatever it is, you won’t be left wondering if or when you’ll hear from him.

 

Here’s what it looks like: After two weeks my friend’s date left for international work travel. Between the time changes and the work load, she didn’t think she would hear from him for days. She was pleasantly surprised when he bought a new sim card and called her when he checked into his hotel.

 

  1. He’s interested in growing and evolving.

He realizes that he’s a work in progress and wants to better himself. If he’s aware of his faults and interested in working them out, you’ll save yourself the un-winnable battle of trying to change someone. Openness about his desire to grow and change can be an opportunity that brings you closer together.

 

Here’s what it looks like: When my client first started dating in the wake of a painful divorce, he felt aloof and noncommittal. When he first met his girlfriend, he wasn’t sure how much to divulge about his past. Knowing that a lack of communication caused havoc in his first marriage, my client opted for transparency. He realized that for true intimacy to exist, he needed to experience vulnerability. His openness strengthened their bond and left both my client and his now girlfriend feeling secure about their relationship.

Linx graces The Times of London Newspaper & Magazine

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