Man’s Best Friend or Competition? How to Date Someone with a Dog

 

Forget the mother-in-law. Sometimes the most difficult family member is the four-legged hairball who drinks out of the toilet. Managing an obnoxious animal can be difficult, but the real difficulty lies in dating someone whose priorities are out of order.

 

If you’re feeling like a powerless third wheel, there are ways to get your relationship in a better place. Below, we’ve outlined the most common problems that arise when dating a pet owner and how to approach them.

 

Problem: The dog sleeps in a bed—with both of you.

Solution: Tell your SO (significant other) that you’d like to keep the bed on hold for sleeping and other “special activities”. Between the pet hair and the lack of space, this request shouldn’t come as a surprise. Snag a dog bed and keep it in the corner of the bedroom to accommodate the new arrangement. If you’d prefer to keep the dog outside of the bedroom entirely, vets suggest putting the dog bed in a warm enclosed area away from heavy traffic areas (i.e., hallway, family room, home office, etc).

 

Problem: The dog is poorly trained, and your significant other isn’t doing anything about it.

Solution: Explain how the pet’s behavior makes you feel. For example, you could say, “Rover went crazy and tried to bite the mailman. It was really stressful, and I was worried about liability issues.” Then, pivot to the solution: “I think we need to enroll in some obedience classes. Here’s one that has rave reviews.” If your partner pushes back on the formal classes, suggest some in-house training that includes crating the dog after bad behavior.

 

Problem: You are allergic to your partner’s dog or cat.

Solution: This is tricky. Aside from suggesting some antihistamines, there isn’t much you can do. According to the American College of Allergy, Asthma, and Immunology, the best way to keep allergies at bay is to:

1. Keep animals away from the bedroom
2. Vacuum often with a HEPA filter
3. Wash your hands after handling your pet
4. Try to bathe your pet once a week or you can hire a doggy concierge to arrive to your home and clean the furry loved one in a mobile van in the driveway.

If cohabitation is in jeopardy because of your partner’s pet allergies, you have to figure out which relationship you value more: the one with your partner or the one with your pet.

 

Problem: You can’t go on vacation, because the pet “has anxiety” without his owner.

Solution: Before traveling, set up some time to interview pet sitters. Give your partner (and pet) some time to get comfortable with the idea of a new caretaker. Once you’ve picked the right pet sitter, you can leave for vacation worry free. If your SO is still hedging with the pet sitter, frame the situation from a cost perspective. One-way flights with a pet in tow can cost $100-150 or, as much as $1000 for a long stint in cargo. Hotel fees can also add up to $100 per night.

 

 

Problem: Your partner co-parents the pet with a crazy ex.

Solution: Establish some boundaries. Encourage your partner to come up with a set schedule for pet care and get it confirmed well in advance. Last minute changes or pet sitting requests can add unnecessary emotional reactivity.

 

The best way to approach any issue is to have a solution in mind. A new plan might not be the perfect answer, but it’s a start. For many people, the pet is family, and family is forever. If your partner isn’t prioritizing your needs over the pet, you will need to decide if you can handle being #2 in your partner’s life.

 

Fido Helps You Get the Girl or Guy

Have you thought about the impact a four legged creature could have on going from single and searching to blissfully coupled up?  

Previously, I’ve shared some insight on my beloved pup and how much joy he’s brought to the lives of my husband and I. Now, I’d like to elaborate a bit on why you should get a dog, especially if you’re single! (and of course love pets)

Chances are, you probably haven’t considered how impactful  a dog can be for you in terms of getting more dates.

Why? Here are just a few reasons:

They get you out & about! — this is the first step to meeting more people in the first place, outside of your apartment!

They naturally draw you to the company of other people who already share a common interest (people like you)  – ie. at the vet, the dog park, around town, or just about anywhere you’d be walking or spending time with your dog.

Having a dog really helps you “break the ice” – I see it happening time and time again even when I’m on a stroll with Marshall – if people are within close enough proximity, they will take a moment to make a comment or strike a conversation.

Having a pet gives you something to talk about – sharing training methods, dog foods, funny stories and so on. 

AND if you’re talking about dogs for quite some time – you’ve already surpassed a huge hurdle in the dating world – and that is finding a shared interest. 

Fido- Best Friend & Matchmaker

My husband, Alex, and I got the most gorgeous rescue dog a few months ago named Marshall from the central valley SPCA. Our pup (a stunning blend of German Shepard, chow chow, Pekinese, and soft coated wheaten terrier) has brought us so much love and fun into our busy lives.  The photo below is at the SPCA. Marshall is the lil guy on the left in pic. 

There are countless favorites that top my list about our little guy (including how he hiccups and his deliciously soft Buddha belly that bulges after a big meal) but an obvious is getting to walk Marshall and decompress from the day. It’s been obvious to me before but now crystal clear that being accompanied by a dog often attracts a lot of attention which can be a great ice breaker in dating. 

Having a dog is one of the greatest gifts on earth. Besides bringing so much joy, unconditional love, a profound impact on lowering stress levels, they are the perfect tool for eligible men and women searching for the one. In other words, fido can become your date coach and matchmaker for an inexpensive price and a potentially huge upside!  

I walk down the street with this gorgeous 23 pound muscular 4 legged boy and people stop. They ask questions about him and then all of a sudden talk from training techniques, soft versus wet food, and dog parks bridges the gap into other adult topics.

I’ve noticed that a lot of dog owners are very eager to befriend other dog owners. Unlike getting to choose the parents that your kids become best friends with in school, you can actually choose which dog owners you’d like to hang out with when doing doggie play dates. 

Already have a dog? Great! If not, consider rescuing a dog from your local shelter (the central valley is flooded with so many breeds and many of these innocent pups are put down to lower costs). It’s a great starting place if you are considering getting a dog and fun to check out the different types.

Though my dog did not put me in touch with my husband… he has played played a very important role in brightening our lives and we have so much fun having a new addition to the family!

You can see how much he’s grown in these pics. The first one was when we had just gotten him. Lil boy! The last pic here is from a few weeks ago. He had officially outgrown his bed. And yes, he has a spotted tongue- that’s the chow in him.