Testimonial from a 40-something, Stanford University educated Tech executive

“There are so many matchmakers out there.  I know as many of them to reach out to me and want me to be part of their network, etc.  The pitch is generally the same, the execution is the same, etc, etc.  Some of these services work in volume (think Tawkify) and others are truly bespoke.  Most are really there to sell a dream to people as priority one and deliver results as priority two.   

Amy is different.  

Amy has a large barrier to work with her (which is a good thing).  This barrier is a very exhaustive questionnaire, an in-person interview, continued follow-up on status, and taking the entire process seriously.  This weeds out the lurkers and the individuals that do not take the service seriously.  It also weeds out those who don’t know what they’re looking for.  

While the terms of my agreement with Amy are confidential, I will tell you that Amy is worth every penny you invest in her services.  

She combines one of the most extensive networks of anyone I know, the uncanny ability to find the right match, and a sincere dedication to the art and science of top-level matchmaking.  

She is a master businesswoman and knows how to break down barriers to truly find the needles in a haystack.  She doesn’t expect her clients to settle to match what she can find, she excels to find partners that match the expectations of her clients…and her clients are of the pickiest, most discerning, and high profile of the bunch.  She just delivers.  

Other matchmakers, in my experience, don’t match the punctual follow-up and service that Amy provides.  While she works with many, she has made me, one of her clients, feel as though I am top priority.  I am able to communicate by text, phone, or email.  All of these are fine by Amy.  

I had tried multiple dating apps and while I sometimes jump back into the apps to see “who” might be out there, I can tell you first hand, they are extremely time consuming and exhausting.

I’m a busy Silicon Valley executive and also happen to be a single parent to a great kid. I would much rather spend my precious free time away from work with my kid and not having to be swiping to see who might capture my attention. Although I don’t put all my resource eggs into one basket with Linx and Amy, I know this approach is something that makes dating a whole lot easier.  

In summary, if you want the best, don’t waste your time with others, go to Amy.  I am writing this because I truly think she is of the few out there that goes above and beyond to be a true “cupid” and she succeeds because of the aformentioned.” 

Attractive Silicon Valley CEO seeks cerebral and athletic girl next door….

Our handsome Caucasian VIP bachelor stands tall at 6’4″ with a healthy musculature and athletic physique, and is based in the heart of Silicon Valley. Born and raised in the Midwest, he is marriage-minded and values hard work, healthy living, humility, and substance.

He is a natural leader, adventurer-seeker, and dynamic self-starter. After completing his graduate studies at an Ivy League, he pursued a career abroad in finance, where he quickly rose through the ranks to hold executive management positions. After working abroad for over a decade, he returned to the states for his next adventure: building a deep tech company in Silicon Valley.

As founder and CEO of a burgeoning tech company, he is now ready to settle down and pursue the adventure of a lifetime with the right woman.

Outside of his very successful career, our VIP enjoys swimming, cycling, yoga, and reading to stay physically and mentally fit. In his spare time, he likes to build and contribute to the communities in which he’s involved: swim club, his neighborhood, veteran causes, just to name a few. He also loves spending time with friends, organizing and throwing parties, and making others smile!

He has a great sense of humor and hopes to find a woman to share laughs with. His ideal match is in her 30’s and has dated to the point where she is completely ready to settle down with her dream guy. If she is living outside of the Bay Area, she’s open to relocation and putting her roots into building an incredible life with her leading man in Silicon Valley.

His match is super cute and sporty, natural in her appearance, fit, smart, a strong communicator, social, warm hearted, humble, and has a heart of gold. Although our client leads a very comfortable nice life and is excited to provide for his family one day, the antithesis of his comfort zone are flashy labels, a life of excess, hard partying, and drama. He’s never been married, no kids, and looks forward to both.

This guy is a total catch and wants to find his dream partner in 2021. Now that Covid restrictions are lifted, what are you waiting for?

If you or anyone you know might make a beautiful match for this gem of a bachelor, please contact Amy at: amy@linxdating.com. Absolutely no fees for qualifying female candidates.

Dating a man in his 40’s: 4 things he wants you to know

Dating a man in his 40s is an exciting experience. He wants to provide for a companion and has the means to do so—unlike many younger men, he’s usually established in his career and rather self-assured about his place in the world. In fact, studies like this one from the Atlantic show that a man’s desirability typically peaks around their 40s and 50s.

On the other side of the coin, there’s also a higher likelihood that he’s been married and/or has children. Though this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it may be daunting for some women.

So, what are the top 4 essential things to know about dating a man in his 40s?

(1) He likes clarity and honesty

A man in his 40s is more discerning and direct about his dating life—and expects you to be the same. 

Playing games like intentionally delaying messaging back for a few days, playing hard to get, or talking about other men to entice jealousy doesn’t sit well—for a man in his 40s, this behavior is more likely to be interpreted as a lack of commitment, and he may simply assume that you’re disinterested. 

He’ll appreciate you clearly expressing your interest, and he’ll also appreciate an honest and direct conversation if you’re not interested. With life experience behind him, he’ll more than graciously accept a thoughtful rejection, rather than a slow, time-wasting denouement. 

(2) He needs his space

A man in his 40s is serious about keeping up with his responsibilities. You’ll have to respect that he may be preoccupied during the day and may not always message back immediately, or that he might want to get to bed early in order to wake up early. 

The good news is that you’ll have more time to focus on yourself, especially when you have your own business, friends, and hobbies. 

(3) He may want a family

While every situation is different, it would be wrong to assume that every man in his 40s wouldn’t be interested in starting a family with you simply because he is divorced or has kids already.

If he has kids already, it is also important to understand that he may take his time to introduce you to them—this is normal as he’ll want to be assured things are serious before he takes that step in intertwining your lives. Again, give him the space to do this at his own pace.

(4) He’s not a fixer-upper

Lastly, studies like this one by Costa and McRae have shown that personality traits remain relatively stable in adults after 30. This explains why it is incredibly challenging—or nearly impossible—to fundamentally change a 40-year-old’s personality, and it is important to recognize that trying to do so will most likely only lead to frustration for both of you.

So, for example, if he’s consistently not interested in an outdoor hike on your favorite trail, then chances are slim that he’ll ever be.

A man in his 40s has been shaped by his life experiences, both good and bad, and he’ll have a much stronger sense of self for it. The major benefit for you—if you have the chance to be with someone who truly knows himself—is that this illuminates a clearer path to connection.

If you find yourself searching for love but not knowing where to begin, don’t hesitate to get in touch—I’m here to help. 

Wishing you love and good health,

Amy

Matchmaking Magic 🤩 🏹

Spring is on the horizon (thank goodness!) and there are so many Linx couples who are exclusive and completely in love. As founder of Linx, in my 16 years of running my company, quite honestly, I have never seen anything like it. My craft has been significantly fine-tuned over the years and so much of my matchmaking style goes on “gut” and instinct. Far less on metrics and science. I am predicting many engagements occurring in the next 12 months.

Here is a testimonial from a former client who’s now off-the-market. He’s extremely private but agreed to write something for you readers to enjoy…

“I was a skeptical of matchmaking and Amy completely changed my views on that. The third person she matched me with is truly the soulmate I have been looking for in the 8 years since I got divorced.

I had never come close to finding true love with my numerous mobile app dates. Her process was very detailed and I appreciate she spent considerable time in-person getting to know me.

I am over the moon now that I found my beautiful and amazing sweetheart through Amy.

When you search for a needle in a haystack you are far better off with the help of a needle magnet like Amy! Don’t waste your time elsewhere!” 

 

– Anonymous 40-something entrepreneur 

Linx Reviews

“For a person generally recognized as the Silicon Valley matchmaker, Amy’s approach is decidedly traditional. At first glance, you might wonder if this difference is what enables Amy to succeed where online dating and other matchmaking services have failed. After working with Amy, though, it becomes apparent that her approach is a natural outcome of what truly makes her great–her drive to invest time and energy in each and every client she takes on. Amy’s intelligence and creativity allow her to translate this passion into tangible results regardless of what an individual client’s needs may be. My only regret in working with Amy is that I didn’t start sooner!

I note that most of the negative comments refer either to a) internet dating alternatives or b) Amy’s perceived prioritization of higher-fee clients. All I can say is this: Amy would be the first to tell you that her service is best used as a supplement to rather than a replacement for online dating; and if you’re shocked that a service provider spends more time on clients that pay more, you might have a different understanding of business than I do.”

 

“I recently attended one of Amy’s events and had the opportunity to meet a group of lovely people that she brought together. They were well accomplished, interesting and warm. Amy was a wonderful hostess and always made sure that my champagne glass was full.

Amy has always been professional, warm and generous with her time and resources. It is clear why she is so successful at what she does because she appears to be committed to helping her clients.”

 

“Amy is amazing. Very professional matchmaker with an extensive network. She zeros in on what you are looking for. All the people she introduces are high quality, no sketchy weirdos so it saves a LOT of time and effort in the emotional process of dating, especially for us busy professionals. It’s only about whether there’s chemistry between you and your match – and that’s up to the universe. Highly recommend!” 

How Do I Let Him Know I Am NOT a Gold Digger?!?!?

I hate to use that phrase but it’s the big elephant in the room in the media regarding dating in Silicon Valley – and, unfortunately, we have to address it head-on because it has serious implications.  This is a somewhat nasty blog entry but it’s also a nasty problem.

As just one example, yesterday, I screened a female prospect for one of my male VIP clients, and she asked for my advice, as she’s met a couple of guys out there who clearly have a chip on their shoulders about this issue, assuming that all women are after for them for their money.

My first observation… let’s not be naive. As a relationship between two people grows, money will eventually become a practical consideration, and an important conversation to have, because it does affect lifestyle, planning, and all of the rest.

But… let’s not get ahead of ourselves.   It really should NOT be much of an issue at all in the early stages of dating.  You’re just getting comfortable, having fun, establishing chemistry and rapport, and all of the rest.   Frankly, you don’t know each other well enough to be broaching that subject and if money stuff is polluting things this soon, it’s almost certainly not the right person and you can cut bait if you are getting bad vibes.

Trust your intuition – if you are a well-intentioned woman dating a guy who has ANY emotional intelligence whatsoever, he will pick up on the fact that you are not only down to earth, but non-materialistic as well.  And if he doesn’t get it, well then…

That was the stock advice that I used to give to women on this topic.  And I still do believe it, for the the most part.

HOWEVER, let’s reverse roles, go a bit deeper and try to understand the guy’s point of view a bit.

Many of these dudes have had bad experiences with women who were with them for the wrong reasons – we all know women like that. The guys then build a bit of a calcified shell to protect themselves from being burned and that can be really unpleasant to deal with.

A lot of guys have a tough time, in social settings, picking the right girl.  “He” could be a good guy, but also be wildly attracted to someone, typically thinking with his ‘other’ brain.  But “she” could be precisely the type who quickly discovers he has deep pockets and is in it for the wrong reasons.

So… how can you tell if the guy is being an overly judgmental arrogant ass, or if he is really just a good guy who is a bit jaded with a protective shell, but who has a wonderful core?

Well, build trust and, over time, peel back your layers to be a little “raw” and even a bit vulnerable.  Allow him to see this more exposed side of you and hopefully he will feel comfortable opening up so that you all can get at what is causing him to feel this way, and then you go naturally on from there.

But understand that, by opening yourself up this way, you could get hurt.  That is always a risk when you are getting to know someone.   And so you MUST rely on every bit of emotional intelligence that you have.

Just the way some really good guys have a disturbing habit of being attracted to the wrong kind of women, some guys are also just general douche bags who lead with chauvinism and a strong materialistic overtone. They flaunt their wealth and peacock with their possessions to attract women and this has nothing to do with calcified shells to protect themselves.

This “shiny sports car” sort of guy typically ends up with the wrong women and keeps this pattern going through relationships, or sometimes even marriage after marriage. He does this to feel worthy, wanted, desirous, and like the big d**k in the room.

Those are the guys you obviously want to avoid.

So what do you do, net net?  I say don’t be scared to put yourself out there and to show your kind heart, should your intuition be telling you that you’ve found a good guy who happens to be somewhat impenetrable.  But you need to hone your asshole detector so that you don’t get your heart ripped to shreds by the coyotes who are looking for an easy dinner.

This Week at Linx

As Memorial Day quickly becomes a distant memory, I hope you all had a tremendously relaxing and special holiday weekend. Perhaps some of you headed for the beach for days filled with BBQs, cold beer, sandy toes, and sun-kissed noses, while others of you hopped on a plane to see family or to hit some exotic destination. Or maybe it was good down time just chilling, while others packed in socializing, shopping, and fun brunches out with friends.

Every time I started to write a new blog entry over the weekend, I somehow get completely sidetracked by an urgent client email that required an immediate response, or a new match that I needed to make. Such are the realities of running a small niche business.

It’s been a whirlwind last few weeks at Linx as we have onboarded some truly exceptional new clients – interestingly, a heavier concentration of 45 + individuals in the last few weeks – all extremely successful in their own right, refreshingly down-to-earth, candid about what they seek in a match, and ready for love now! I look forward to doing some new blog entries in the coming weeks to announce a few of these key searches.

I have also been squeezing in some date coaching and even a wardrobe consultation, and I believe there are lessons for everyone in these sessions.

During this particular stretch, though I worked with my clients on a variety of techniques, we focused primarily on early stage dating. For one young woman in technology, I discussed the art of “Flirting 101.” My main lesson was that being too eager or overly sexy can lead a man to discount you as a potential mate and love interest, but not enough flirting can leave even the most intuitive guy confused and unclear about how to proceed. I find it very surprising that so many people see this as a black and white thing. It’s actually very gray. As a woman, you don’t have only two choices.   It’s all about subtlety – each individual has to build an awareness and confidence that allows her to almost unconsciously calibrate a situation and then react naturally in a way that smoothly and metaphorically telegraphs what she is feeling. I’m not saying this is easy. In fact, it is hardest for my clients that come from very analytical backgrounds. Tapping this art means being in touch with your softer, more emotional side and also getting experience across a wide range of interpersonal situations (whether it is at work, with friends, family, or ideally dating.)

For another client, I helped strategize about how to combat shyness. One of the hardest things about building dating confidence can be overcoming stranger anxiety…  you know, the stuff that sets in when we’re about 18 months old, and (for most of us) never really goes away?  The ultimate goal is to build enough confidence to approach strangers you find attractive AND to carry that undeniable confidence over into real life dating. I gave this client homework where her goal was to have small, simple interactions each day with people she does not find attractive, for example asking for the time, making chitchat while waiting in a grocery store line, etc. Seem counter-intuitive? Well, the stakes are low and it is a lot less pressure especially for an exercise like this that can be pretty nerve-wracking regardless of how “hot” or “not” someone is.   Start on the easier end of the spectrum, build up, and don’t immediately try to boil the ocean.

So I can sit here and preach all of this advice and speak in generalities… but I can just hear a reader saying, “that’s great but how do I actually DO this stuff and improve?”

Well, one option is to let me date coach you. LOL. And then you get a ton of individualized attention and narrowly tailored practice. Another client who is doing coaching work just sent in this feedback this morning, “all these efforts have been wonderful in putting my focus on the future, and rediscovering the happy person I am naturally. The coaching process has been very helpful to dig into what is real and make sure that my best self is visible.  It feels good to make an investment in myself.  I appreciate all your help.” It is always nice to receive emails like this where the effort and hard work clients are putting into this process are not only rewarding but they feel as if they are entering a new chapter in their lives with the gusto and confidence required.

A cheaper option to Linx coaching, and I know this may sound corny, is to watch emotional movies (they could, but need not be, romantic comedies) or to read a classic romantic novel, even if you aren’t getting a lot of practice in the real world. My husband uses, to great effect, literature and movies in his Stanford courses on entrepreneurship and leadership because those topics have so much to do with people and even fictional material like movies or books allow a whole class to experience the same people and situations with their diverse real life lenses and to have a productive discussion about all of it. I believe the same thing applies in improving in your artistic dating skills.

On a lighter note, I also did a quick wardrobe consult for one client this week. This 30-year old entrepreneur needed some nice dress shirts, a sport coat, and some pants that were alternatives to jeans. He mentioned that he had a gift certificate to Nordstrom so I headed over there and spent a hour pulling a few select items for him with the help of one of their personal shoppers. I think my client will be pleased with my picks – classic yet with a youthful modern twist- Hugo Boss, AG pants, J Brand pants, and a few dress shirts too.

Beyond all of the coaching this week, we also have screenings for new prospective clients, a couple of new client interviews, and… drumroll… a Dutch media company visiting Linx this week, flying out from the Netherlands to meet with me. Germany has always had a love affair with Linx and Silicon Valley but perhaps the Dutch are catching the virus as well. They will first interview me, and then (this is the best part) set up one of my young male clients with the host of the show – a gorgeous 24-year old who apparently is edgy, vocal, and hip! This will all air in August in a short documentary.

Have a spectacular weekend ahead!

When Harry Met Sally

As a professional matchmaker, I experience more than my fair share of moments of serendipity, coincidence, and bizarre irony. If only I could share the details of all the crazy stories and situations from the last 12 years of running Linx Dating…

Today, I watched a very interesting situation unfold from within my network, and see a great opportunity to illustrate two very important points about dating.

The story goes like this. A former female client of mine (let’s call her “Sally”) moved last year from the Bay Area to Boston for grad school. I had worked closely with her when she lived here and had actually matched to her someone with whom she had had a significant relationship. She arrived in Boston, single, and has been dating there with mixed success. Though I am not regularly in touch with clients who have moved, I do keep them on my radar, in my database, and in my mind, should a tailor-made opportunity arise.

Separately, my husband has a friend who recently referred a prospective male client to me who is based in Boston (let’s call him “Harry”). After corresponding with the candidate, we both realized quickly that I am probably not the best day-to-day matchmaker for him, given his plan to stay in Boston. However, I offered to do whatever I could for him with my limited Boston network, including introducing him to friends who might have tips about being single in Boston.

It then occurred to me that “Harry” and “Sally” could be a great match and beyond this should no romantic connection transpire, “Sally” could help strategize about ways to date intelligently in Boston.

I immediately reached out to “Sally” to see if she was still single – delighted to hear from me, she said that she, in fact, was still single and would be open to an introduction. I provided a very high-level overview of the potential match – basic biographical information, age, etc. She almost immediately interrupted me and said, “this guy’s name isn’t ‘Harry’, is it?” I said, “well, yes, it is Harry… wow… you know him?” She went on to say that she had had a first date with “Harry” months and months ago, had been interested and attracted to him, but had never heard from him again, then figuring that he had no further interest in her. She asked me to find out from him if she had done “something wrong” that had subsequently “turned him off.” I agreed to ping him to conjure up any intel I could.

I turned around and reached out to “Harry” and asked if he remembered “Sally,” explaining that apparently they already knew each other. “Harry” immediately remembered their date, described “Sally” to a tee, and said he had been interested in her, but had not followed up because he thought that she had no romantic interest in him. I couldn’t believe what I was reading right before my eyes!

After a few emails back and forth, both “Harry” and “Sally” were game to pick up the pieces where they left off. I proceeded then to “broker” a new meeting so that “Harry” could meet “Sally” again and now we’ll see what happens.

What lessons are here for those of you who are single and looking?

1. COMMUNICATION, SIGNALS, AND GAMES

I live this every day through my clients. Most of you probably know that there is a whole school of dating thought out there around strategic game playing, veiled communication, pickup artist stuff, etc. At the end of the day, no one wants to be bored and find complete predictability in their romantic dating – and it can be very hard to be transparent, vulnerable or open about your feelings early on in dating because you put yourself at risk to be hurt, and you also might worry that revealing too much too soon could either scare off the other person, or make them feel it is too “easy” and not enough of a challenge.

I won’t deny that there can be truth to all of that. But you have to follow your instincts – if you are out with someone and you honestly believe that there is something there, you don’t have to let it ALL hang out, but give the other person a bone. Show them SOMETHING. Whether it’s a flirtatious comment, touch, look, or whatever… or maybe you just say something if you are comfortable. If you don’t, you run the risk of being in a situation that “Harry” and “Sally” were in. And you might never have known what could have been.   So be aware of how you are coming across, and if you are “feeling it”, don’t get too cute or play it too cool or you just might miss out on something special.

2. THE POWER OF TRUE NETWORKS

Networking is a brutally abused term. It conjures up images of cheesy salespeople exchanging business cards over a superficial exchange of pleasantries and promises to follow up on whatever they might have been discussing.

But true networking is a long-term investment and I am reminded, on almost a daily basis, how hard anyone, whose career is based heavily on networks, has to work to expand, maintain, and nurture the network.   And I believe you have to build your network with TLC over time, with no regard as to how it might benefit you or anyone else in the future. In other words, it is often a selfless labor of love where you must enjoy the journey and know that it will bear fruit in the most unexpected ways.

The most successful real estate agents work hard over years and years to build meaningful relationships that result in repeat business and high-yield referrals. Moreover, they skillfully mine their specialized markets as arbitrageurs of even the smallest tidbits of information. And, in the process, they have hundreds of prospective deals that never happened, thousands of tidbits of advice they gave that netted them no money, and countless moments of frustration. But all of that work nets them a great reputation and plenty of wonderful deals to secure their business.

Linx Dating, in many ways, is no different. Had I not spend the last 12 years building my network this way, I would never have been in the position to allow my brain and my database to lead me to (unknowingly) reconnect “Harry” and “Sally.”

Everything else aside, it is the power of the Linx Network, that sets us apart in the matchmaking world.

San Francisco Dating | Just Be You…Relaxed & Simple

We all know that San Francisco dating can be tough to say the least! Ladies maybe you can relate….from the guy who shows you his TED talk on the first date and the other aspiring entrepreneur who whips out an NDA before your appetizers even arrive… to the man who appears 30 minutes late and explains that his time is worth more than yours and the other who tells you over cocktails that he doesn’t believe in second dates, but offers you a job at his start-up!

Some could argue San Francisco is the toughest city to find a good commitment-minded guy in. Dating is a skill for both men and women and it does take practice. Some young professionals are simply out of practice, while some have practiced a little too much (players!) and some are late bloomers to the dating game.

I recently came across this great video from a friend of mine who portrays a nerdy teen turned fashion magazine queen who has everything she wants except the right guy. Enjoy!

Recruiting | Successful Business Woman in Silicon Valley | Media Opp

Linx has been approached by a top German TV outlet who is looking for a successful

business woman residing in Silicon Valley who would be interested in being interviewed

for a feature segment on Silicon Valley. The production crew will be visiting Silicon Valley

in early April. If you are someone who would be interested in this opportunity to chat about

being an enterprising woman in Silicon Valley and are not camera shy, please email me ASAP

amy@linxdating.com and I will put you in touch with the head of production. Please note that

you or anyone you know does NOT need to be single. You just need to be living in Silicon Valley,

run a successful business, and be up for this fun opportunity.