dating expert

Announcing Our Most Exciting Silicon Valley VIP Search Yet!

We are elated to announce our latest VIP search for a Silicon Valley based bachelor searching for his match. Our client is exceptional above and beyond – academically, physically and professionally. As we all know, timing is everything in life (especially when it comes to truly being ready for a serious relationship and marriage) and, for our client, this is ‘his time’ to find the love of his life! lazaro-bridal-tulle-ball-gown-pleated-silk-satin-organza-floral-jewel-natural-waist-circular-chapel-train-3108_zm

We will be hosting a series of confidential, in-person interviews for qualified candidates ongoing in 2014 (note this search started end of 2013 and is an on-going, high profile project.) If you contact us and qualify, you will be invited to meet the matchmaker, Amy Andersen, in the comfort of our private suite where you can learn more about the bachelor and we can determine if you might be the perfect girl for him. This process is 100% private – anything you share will remain strictly confidential – so there’s no risk in contacting us if you’re interested. Small_Red_Rose

Our VIP is a true Silicon Valley superstar! He is not only a very good looking guy standing 6’0″, a CEO, romantic, a world traveler, a loyal friend, extremely well educated, social, honest, a great communicator, and most importantly marriage minded. Like so many of our VIPs, he has the graduate degree, a fantastic career, is very confident (so sexy..right ladies?), and a long list of incredible hobbies and fascinating pursuits outside of his job. Our VIP has enlisted our services to help him find his dream girl… the one in a million, the needle in a haystack, the perfect match. Are you that girl? We are so excited and need your help! wedding046-1-ddb17f

Our VIP wrote a letter from his heart to the Linx blog readers hoping she might be reading it. If you are not eligible but you know a great girl who is eligible and searching for “the one” let us know. In fact, email founder/CEO amy ASAP to amy@linxdating.com. As mentioned earlier, we will be hosting a luxurious event conducting one-on-one casual screenings with qualifying candidates in November. NO FEES if you qualify.

VIP LETTER

I’m a Dreamer, a Doer, and a Serial Hugger

As a child, I loved building things and daydreaming. I distinctively remember one of these dreams I dreamt at twilight time during a family vacation on an island overlooking the Mediterranean. In that dream I remember juggling a big happy family and a thriving business. In that episode of the dream (just before my mom called me for dinner in the real world) I imagined celebrating a gorgeous summer day next to a lake with my future kids, my beautiful wife, our extended families, our best friends, and a handful of execs from my growing business. We celebrated life, love, human spirit, and doing-good. In that dream, my wife and I had just come back from an exciting trip to Africa and Asia, where we met fascinating people and helped bringing them valuable knowledge and resources. We were eager to share with our loved ones the fascinating stories from our trip about the wonderful people we met and helped.

I distinctively remember the smiles and laughs in that special celebration of giving and life. I also remember the joy I felt for bringing all the people I loved together to enjoy each other’s company, amazing stories, great music, delicious foods and lovely wines. The memory is so vivid that I can almost smell the beautiful flowers that decorated our reunion of family and friends. I’ve always liked making and enjoying art, and in my mind, every flower is a form of art that nature produces to celebrate beauty, giving, and the creation of life.

The art of creation has always been an important part of my life. I still remember the “Time-machine” I built when I was a child, which helped me daydream about my future. With my ragged desktop computer, using less computing power than I have in my current watch, I programed a simple app that helped me easily “assemble” exciting dreams about the future. Using this app I could instantaneously “jump” with my imagination to the all the countries in the world I always wanted to visit, to all the businesses I wanted to build, and to the happy family I wanted to nurture. The simple “database” I created included all the things I wanted to do and see and all the things I wanted to learn. With the logic I programmed into my Time-Machine, I was able to create fascinating imaginary life journeys that became the blueprints for my daydreams.

Weaving dreams was so much fun – it helped me create a vision for my future life as an adult. It was the best preparation for the adventurous, ambitious, and caring lifestyle I’ve adopted when I grew up. My Time-Machine helped me safely experiment, explore, and “experience” what a wide array of undertakings, challenges, and accomplishments would make me feel. I programmed my Time-Machine, and then it programmed me.

Once my Time-Machine worked, I was thrilled to share it with the many good friends I had growing up. I loved their feedback and ideas, and even more so, I loved how they used the Time-Machine I built to weave their own dreams, and sometime even combine them with mine. Dreaming together with friends and translating these dream to fun adventures we’ve gone through together, shaped who I am today in both my personal and professional life.

A few months ago, after a long run along the coastline in Rancho Palos Verdes, when I tried to imagine what my ideal wife and family would look and feel like, the sweet memory of my good old Time-Machine came up. With a big smile on my face, I decided to visit to my parents to try and find it, so I can take another exciting walk on memory lane. When I discovered that my parents donated my old computer and disks, which hosted my Time Machine, I was pretty disappointed. However, pretty quickly, that state of mind gave way to feeling great. In my heart, I knew that there’s a good likelihood that there’s at least one child out there, who now has access to my Time-Machine, and that it can give him or her an opportunity to dream big dreams. I was very hopeful that this child was adventurous enough to embark on imaginary daydreams too, and that she or he was foolish enough to make these dreams come true!

While browsing my childhood photos in an old album at my parents’ house, it became clear to me that the Time-Machines that my own children will build would be so much better than the one that I build as a child… And it must be so much better because my children will have not only the genes that made me a dreamer, a builder and a serial hugger, but also the genes of an incredible partner, lover and best friend – my soon to be wife!

About my Soon-to-be Wife (i.e., the Love of my Life):

So… fast forwarding back to the present, when I’m fortunate enough to have already had many of my dreams come true, it’s time to daydream again (this time without my Time Machine) to imagine who would be my dream wife? Well… the Love of my Life is one of a kind. She’s the most affectionate, loving and caring person in the world. One can feel her positive energy when she enters a room – she’s one of these “angles” who everyone deeply adores. She’s always honest, unconditionally loyal, romantic, and a bit of a dreamer herself. She’s adventurous, beautiful and full of life.

My future wife is very genuine and comfortable in her own skin. Everyone admires her because she makes them feel good about themselves when she’s around. She’s loved her family and has many real friends whom she keeps in close touch with, and she’s always there for people she loves. She’s great with children, has the sweetest heart for all beings, and she almost always smiles. She’s also very intelligent, wise and thoughtful, but very humble about it. In her work, and in her personal life, she’s responsible, diligent and proactive, but balances these with a genuine understanding that everyone is human, and a natural sense of humor that everyone loves. vip-shield

Are you a match?

Age:
24-32 years old

Physical appearance:

Caucasian, Mixed heritage, or European heritage
Taller the better! 5’7” is a fantastic height (5’4” minimum)
Slender/athletic/feminine and keeping in great shape
Natural beauty and beautiful eyes are the key to the soul
Keeps a healthy diet more than a diet rich in fatty foods. Balance is key!

Personality:
Above all else, you are a caring, compassionate, and a kind person.
You are positive, happy, and you do the right thing in life. You like life!
You were raised well and perhaps look to your parents as role models.

Occupation/Education:
You are responsible, independent, and educated. In terms of the industry you work in, it doesn’t matter but what does matter is that you have time to get to know our VIP bachelor and are not 100% tied to work. In other words, you honestly can say you have balance in your life.
Smart is sexy for our client so the more educated, the better.

Personal Goals:
You are positioned for a deep, unequivocal love and can confidently state you are ready for marriage and what that entails.
You can picture being married, having 2 + children, and living in the Bay Area (our client runs a successful business here and has large ties to Silicon Valley and plans to stay here).

Lifestyle:
You are unattached and are not in a current committed relationship. In other words, we ask that you NOT move forward with our process if you are dating someone seriously that has a substantial probability of progressing into an exclusive relationship. This can lead to a waste of everyone’s time.
You enjoy meeting new people, would be considered social, and would welcome new friends into your life (our client is social and would want you to be included in his full and thriving life.)

New Linx Testimonial ! 30-something exec female, Ivy League educated marries incredible man!

I originally was introduced to Amy in Summer 2010 and heard about Linx from friends who had met and worked with Amy and were very impressed with her and the quality of Linx matches. Living in San Francisco I found it difficult to find the right match who was looking for the same long-term goals as myself. I had had long term relationships with great guys but ultimately the common theme was there were missing pieces for discussions of marriage or they simply where not in the right place to contemplate getting really serious.

I met Amy in June 2010 and the experience was surprisingly great. Her approach is straight forward, honest and she seemed to really get me. I knew this was a leap of faith and I felt in trusted hands and that she could increase my odds and what could I lose in doing this? If anything meet some nice new guys and make a few new friends. Linx placed me across from a few great guys that I would not have met otherwise. Even in the brief amount of time Amy spent me with in her office, she really hit the nail on the head of identifying good guys for me who shared the same goals, background, etc and I would never have met these guys in my normal course of life. Young couple

On match 7th, I met my husband. We shared our first date in San Francisco and I felt that he was interesting, cute and really easy to spend time with it just felt easy. We starting spending large amounts of time together very early on and it felt like things evolved very naturally without any stress or different goals he really seemed to understand me and loved me for me quirks and all.

He proposed on a ski trip, the site of our third date on our one year anniversary! He feigned exhaustion one night to stay at the hotel, he had shipped the ring to Colorado (without insurance, thank you FEDEX!) and was in a panic trying to hide it and conceal the surprise. I came back from the spa and the room was decorated with rose petals and my favorite food. When I asked why I was such a lucky girl he said it was to mark our one year anniversary together and then he proposed and ended up putting the ring on the wrong hand. So cute. It was amazing!!!

We married in summer 2013 and lived happily ever after (just kidding this is a true story!)

Linx is great as it opened up my horizons to meet people I would never normally have met, Amy is very professional intuitive and a joy to work with. I highly recommend her service!”

Twitter commentary from our VIP

One of our Linx VIP guys responded to these tweets from @linxdating yesterday with some irreverent humor. I couldn’t help myself but put these comments up which are too great.

Tweet: Raising capital for startups in Silicon Valley as a female has its +/-. A female entrepreneur told me an investor said things no angel says

His comment: If angels talk to you, you should understand that you are already dead.

Tweet: People often let actions/behavior slide in the honeymoon stage. Deep into the relationship, it isn’t peaches and cream. Too late to reverse

His comment: Actually this is reversed. In the honeymoon stage, people are all peaches and cream. Once they are hooked, then they revert to being themselves.

Tweet: You start a company in Silicon Valley. You do a series A round, a series B, and then a series C … and then discover.. you’re still single.

His comment: By the time you are at a Series C round, you are more diluted than the house bourbon at a third rate bar

Tweet: Cheap in money, can be cheap in spirit when dating.

His comment: Really and that’s not obvious?

Tweet: Be less judgmental when picking and choosing people to date. If you seek perfection, you’re facing a tough road ahead.

His comment: Perfectionists don’t seek perfection, they seek those who are less so, because it allows them to point out all the short-comings of the less-than-perfect.

Tweet: You can’t seek love. It seeks you.

His comment: That’s called stalking and there are laws against such behavior

Tweet: People and culture are the spice of life

His comment: Marines in Afghanistan would probably quarrel with this statement

Tweet: The female career in Silicon Valley often eclipses the man’s in today’s world. If so, make him feel resourceful, useful, masculine, and loved.

His comment: Not exactly, but see Dennis Miller’s famous rant on what men really want from a woman, and only then will you understand why it is true that men and women arrive to earth from different planets.

Tweet: Ice breaker a client who flew in from overseas shared. She has walked up to men on the street & asks ‘Are you thirsty? Let’s have a drink’

His comment: For some reason, the phrase “stranger danger” suddenly comes to mind.

What Women Are Looking For in Silicon Valley- one perspective

A Linx blog reader submitted this information anonymously about her perspective on what she is looking as she is dating in Silicon Valley.

Last Thursday, I went to the Rosewood after work for happy hour

Here’s what I am looking for in rank order:

1) A sexually attractive man. I don’t know that I would call it ‘beauty’. From the neck up, he doesn’t have to look like a model. But he MUST take care of his body – hit the gym regularly and not have a belly and be toned/have some muscle. When I was at Rosewood, I was amazed by the number of men who I just did not find sexually attractive. They may have great jobs, but they don’t take care of themselves. Men say they need to be attracted to a woman. Well I am no different, I need to be attracted to men.

2) Humble. Also, as I looked around, I was struck by the number of men who appeared to me to be self involved and arrogant. This is from observing their body language, facial expressions, and interactions. The true gem is the man who has an education and a good career, yet at the same time is humble. He is grounded. That tells me he has good values, is introspective, and is authentic with himself and others.

3) Mature. I went to a beer party at my tech company last week and I was struck that the majority of men at the beer event seemed like and looked like boys. From how they dressed, to how they groomed themselves, to their social skills. I know some executives in my department who are MEN, but they don’t go to these beer events. Maybe that’s why.”

Readers, what are you looking for as you are dating in and out of Silicon Valley? Do you agree? What might trump your wish list? Would love for you to send me an email and I can post anonymously too.

What Are Silicon Valley Men Looking For?

Beauty
Silicon Valley men tell me that they need to be attracted. Men are wired to quickly size a female up. He’s either going to be attracted or not. On a first date, as a female, you have about 30 seconds to either fall into the attractive bucket or friend zone. It’s unfair but true. If attracted on some level, then they size up according to the next point….brains. There is a broad definition of beauty for men. Some desire petite, curvy, blond, Asian, Indian, Caucasian, African American, short, tall…you name it!

Brains
Silicon Valley men need to be pushed intellectually. Beauty fades but not the mind. So they tell me when they are 90 years old in rockers on the porch sipping lemonade with their wife, they want to be able to talk about something interesting. It has been one of the most refreshing “revelations” in running my business that these men really do desire someone who is incredibly bright. She will teach him, inspire him, push him cerebrally and vice versa.

Balance
Silicon Valley men work hard but they also like to shut it off at the end of the day and indulge in their greatest passions and hobbies outside of career. They desire a mate who can match them on this and she has her own life, autonomy, hobbies, and interesting ways she stays busy and active outside of the domain of day-to-day work life. She has balance and isn’t necessarily on the huge hamster wheel of life working 24/7. This also signals she has time for a relationship!

Happy 4th of July!
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Follow me on Twitter @linxdating

Fun Celebrity Matches by Linx!

TheNest.com (the sister site to The Knot for newlyweds) approached me to come up with the best matches for some of Hollywood’s hottest single celebs like Johnny Depp, Rihanna, etc. They choose a couple of my matches for the story on TheNest.com and the rest I thought I would put up here so you can read about some of my fun celeb match ideas and why!

Jessica Chastain

Although Chastain has said in the past that she doesn’t date actors, that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t. I chose Aaron Eckhart, who, like Chastain, seems more into his craft than fame and has proven his talent in indies like Thank You for Smoking and blockbusters like Batman, could be the exception to the red-headed starlet’s rule. Jessica is an actress of great depths and attended Juilliard, so I think Eckhart would make a strong match for her. With an old soul like Chastain, the age gap works in Eckhart’s favor, too (she’s 36 and he’s 45). Fun fact, they’re both Bay Area, CA natives (her Sacramento and him Cupertino). Pretty picture perfect next to one another too don’t you think? F118045250194E729915F3597E6FCA0E

Ryan Seacrest

Although Julianne Hough and Ryan Seacrest’s breakup seemed to catch even the love pros by surprise, I think Hollywood’s hardest working man needs someone a little older. Julianne Hough is 24 years old and Ryan is 38 years old. I would match him with January Jones, who’s 35, blond (which he seems to go for) and seems very classy. Come to think of it, Jones and Hough kind of look like they could be related…perhaps a good evolution in his dating. 2DB58AB4193540B7ADAAE21B1329B81D

Prince Harry

He needs someone who completely understands his royal obligations, is extremely poised, classy, and with an impeccable track record. She needs to have strong family values and be someone to shape Prince Harry into the marrying type versus the party boy image. A great match would be Charlotte Casiraghi who is 26 years old. This beauty is fourth in line to the throne of Monaco. Her maternal grandparents were Rainier III, Prince of Monaco, and Grace Kelly. She also is the official equestrian “ambassador” of Gucci. Prince Harry and Charlotte would not only share the similar royal family background, be close in age, but also a lovely common passion of all things equestrian. harrycharlotte

Katie Holmes

Katie needs to step out of the Hollywood scene for dating and date a strong leading man who is not only deep and intellectual but very cute (and frankly a better age compared to her ex Tom). Uber entrepreneur extraordinaire Jack Dorsey founder of Twitter and Square would make a great match for Katie. They both seem approachable and what is so nice is that there would always be tons to talk about considering they are in completely different industries. They’re also a good age- she’s 34 and he’s 36. She already has the child and most likely he would appreciate that biological pressure being removed so they can really enjoy getting to know one another. Certainly if they did have children together, their babies would be gorgeous and smart to boot! KatieJack

You can check out more matches here: http://ideas.thenest.com/love-and-sex-advice/sex-questions-advice/slideshows/fake-celebrity-couples.aspx?page=4

Follow me on Twitter @linxdating

It’s all about the necklace!

It girls everywhere know that being on-trend and current means standing out from the crowd with a showstopper necklace. I always advise my Linx lady clients to be bold and accessorize their date ensembles with a statement piece. A necklace doesn’t have to be expensive at all. In fact, you can browse ebay to discover fierce necklaces for under $10! Let the jaws drop…especially on a date!

It’s a timing thing…

I am definitely a big believer in the “taxi cab light” theory in analyzing and studying the dating game – especially for how men behave.

When a man is ready to find love, his taxicab “on duty” light is on.  In observing the male species, it is a short window of time from the moment the light is on to the moment it is off.  In that time frame, he is searching for, and desiring, a woman with whom to fall in love. It is his time and we all know darn well, it’s a timing thing. It is either a man’s time to get serious about finding the love of his life or NOT.

It can be extremely hard to navigate these waters without a life preserver when you are dating on your own. To add to the complexity, it is really hard to map out which guys have their “light on” and whose might be turned off but he is still out their playing the dating game casually and in “hook up” mode versus “wedding bells mode.” I know what this is like because when I was in my twenties (like a year ago lol kidding), I found it particularly hard to decipher which of the guys in whom I was interested would end up being casual, right here, right now, versus long-term.

In running Linx, I can’t even express how interesting it is to see some men who have been prospective clients of Linx for many (yes, MANY) years now FINALLY pulling the trigger.  It’s a timing thing and their taxi lights are bright, on, and blaring out to the world. This prototypical male has dated a fair amount, gotten the casual hookups out of his system, and it’s game on, with it all now just being a matter of how to find HER in a sea of contenders.

Another observation is that men seem to also need to feel that there is harmony in their professional careers to be ultimately positioned to find love. If his career is unstable, it is not his time to get serious about love. When his career is in a good place and he’s sick of the random hook-up, that is his time.

My best advice to women is that you cannot legislate outcomes and force a man to be ready.  All you can do is consistently put yourself in position to meet those guys that ARE ready and to put your best foot forward when you do so.San Mateo-20130501-01091The intoxicating smell of fresh fragrant garden flowers at the Linx offices. 

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create.” 
-John Lennon

Follow me on Twitter @linxdating

Weekend Getaway with the Beau!

When your beau asked you to meet his parents, butterflies rumbled in your stomach….you were excited, a little nervous, elated, and the sound of Vivaldi’s Four Seasons flooded your mind…a wedding in the future perhaps?

Luckily you had the perfect ensemble to wear thanks to Tog + Porter’s Meeting the Parents style guide. Classy, feminine, and lady-like. You nailed it and remembered that the most important thing in preparing to meet the parents is to simply be yourself. Brunch with his parents was delightful and so fun! He was at ease, his parents down-to-earth and excited to meet you, and you felt like a princess.

The following day he shared that his parents absolutely loved you and have invited the two of you up to their Lake Tahoe lake house for a weekend getaway. An invitation to spend more time with his parents and immerse yourself in their world seemed to be the absolute perfect timing. How lovely!

The week leading up to the lake getaway you pamper yourself with pretty ballet slipper polish for a mani/pedi, waxed in all the right places, highlights and a cut, and a spray tan for any time spent on the lake. The Mr. shares to pack casual but said there would be a lakeside BBQ oyster shucking party with his parent’s neighbors the first night, boating on the lake the next day, followed by an intimate dinner at the house and dominoes fireside with after dinner drinks.

Casual isn’t really in your vocabulary and as much as you love your walks in nature, heading to “the woods” isn’t necessarily as easy as it seems for a city girl! Channeling your inner Carrie Bradshaw you put on the episode of Sex and the City where Carrie visits Aidan’s country cottage. Aidan-and-Carrie

You hope to fare better than Carrie did when she visited Aidan’s cabin. Clearly, comfort is key, but you don’t want to compromise your keen fashion sense that he has grown so fond of.

Not only do you need to plan some cute outfits but you also want to bring his parents a nice little gift to say Thank You for the lovely invitation and weekend at their lake house. What to get them that is a kind gesture but still not trying too hard?

And considering that you don’t know what their lake house is like at all or his mother’s discerning taste, the pressure is on. You do know that his parents are East Coast types who moved out to San Francisco ten years ago for his father’s job in private equity. Like father, like son. His parents definitely are on the more conservative side and money no object.

You also want to surprise your beau with a little something unexpected…. afterall, it is your 6 month anniversary that Saturday! We understand how any girl can feel a little overwhelmed by this scenario, which is why we sent an S.O.S. over to our friends at Tog + Porter for some outfit ideas. Stylist Camilla Basse broke it down for us and gave us suggestions for each activity on the trip.

For the oyster roast, she suggests your favorite and most comfortable pair of boyfriend jeans, a classic white button-down and a cozy sweater.Oyster Party

On day 2, a chambray button-down, your beloved go to denim shorts and metallic boating shoes for the boat excursion. Wear your new summer bathing suit (and sunscreen) underneath she says.BoatinginLakeTahoe

For dinner, Camilla says you can wear the same chambray top from earlier back to a white cotton or lace skirt or go for sleeveless plaid or tribal print top with your denim shorts. Intimate Dinner

She also says one statement piece is always a good idea. And, nothing says statement piece like a beaded shirt toned down and made cabin appropriate with denim.

With your packing list complete, it’s time to set out on what is destined to be one weekend to remember.

As for the gifts, you know him best, but us gals here at T+P think a picnic basket tote from Brookstone for his parents would make a useful, yet thoughtful gift for future boating trips. If they already have something of the sorts, a monogrammed Pendleton wool blanket is always a winner.

Need help packing for an upcoming getaway? One of Tog + Porter’s amazing stylists would love to help you. You can even schedule an appointment with Camilla by simply clicking here.

Extra Extra | Casting Call

CASTING CALL : SINGLE YOUNG MEN FOR TV STORY !!! News_Flash_-_Retro_Clip_Art_17344964
I am looking for a youthful single guy in Silicon Valley to be the lead character for a very high-end TV news story who tends to date older women 40+. This is for a media project filming next Thursday April 25th in Palo Alto for national TV. Amazing exposure if you are single and searching! Questions/got you intrigued?
Email me asap if you’re my guy! amy@linxdating.comRubiks-Cube-Adult-Hat