dating expert

What is the MSRP of Love?

Blog written by: Linx staff member, Michael NormaniStock_000026905091Small
If you’ve ever considered hiring a matchmaker, you’ve probably asked yourself (or been asked by someone else) how valuable a fulfilling relationship might actually be to you. The very idea of a cost-benefit analysis on emotional intimacy seems clinical and counter-intuitive, but it turns out that you really can quantify the upside of being in a happy relationship. In fact, the team at Happify.com has done just that, along with giving us a quick and easy infographic that tells us A LOT about the communication styles of happy couples. How does your communication style measure up against that of these dynamic duos? Do your expectations about sex, communication, and intimacy align with what seems to be a recipe for romantic success?

Even as a single person, you can improve your outlook on life and your approach to intimacy to set yourself up for the best possible outcome in your next relationship; you can practice compromising, defusing tension with humor, and sharing new experiences with the people in your life right now, be they colleagues, friends, or family members. Everyone knows that even the best relationships take work, but it’s staggering to see just how valuable a happy relationship can be.

So what’s the value of a happy relationship? According to happify.com, it’s a surprising $105,000 per year, which makes your Linx membership seem like both a bargain AND a wise investment (we’re assuming that’s untaxed income, of course.) And for those of you on the fence about whether or not you should be investing more in your professional or personal lives right now, maybe you should ask yourself if your next promotion is likely to come with a six-figure raise.

For more information, check out the infographic here.

If you don’t have time to visit the site, you might still want to know that the happiest couples have sex 2-3 times a week, that they both have college degrees, and that in those couples (take note, ladies) the man is definitely employed.

And what is the science behind why people marry? Happify.com shares 93% of American couples share they married for ‘love’, while 87% said they married for ‘making a lifelong commitment’, 81% said ‘companionship’, 59% said ‘having children’, and 31% said ‘financial stability.’ So what’s your reason for desiring love and marriage?

Date Coaching Testimonial

We recently had the pleasure of doing a third coaching session with a fantastic 30-something female in Silicon Valley. She bravely contacted me last summer and we have been working together to get her ready for the dating world. In this last session we all had a sort of “a ha” moment because it was so obvious in this last interactive session she “gets” all of the techniques we’ve been preaching. Before we all had that revelation of sorts, our client had simply not “activated” that part of her mind on. She gets how to flirt. She understands how to attract a man. She is a great conversationalist. With around 7 total hours of coaching, that ember is ignited in her core being and she’s ready to tackle dating on her own. Like we encourage our students to do…we hope she’ll report back on how she’s doing in a few months. Here’s what she said about working with Linx…

“Amy is a true joy to work with – she is truly passionate about what she does and it shows! She is extremely knowledgeable and intuitive, which made it seem like she had known me for years when we first met. I contacted Amy due to my shyness and struggles with dating. My dating perspective began to turn towards viewing it as a fun process to get to know myself and what I as a person have to offer in addition to getting excited about making connections with other people. Working with Amy is an opportunity for personal growth, not just matchmaking, and I would highly recommend her to anyone from all walks of life!” – Anonymous

Why do we kiss?

How you ever changed your opinion of an awkward first date when it ended with a surprisingly good kiss? Or maybe you found yourself questioning the value of an otherwise wonderful experience after a date that ended with no kiss at all? There’s no denying that when it comes to relationships and romance, kissing is incredibly important. And even when it lasts for only a few seconds, sharing a kiss is one of the most intimate and revealing things that two people can do. How much importance do you place on a good kiss? And why do you think it matters? Arab casual couple flirting ready to kiss with love

Take a few minutes to watch this video from the Linx team about The Science of Kissing:

Follow up to Mary Had a Little Lamb

A friend on Twitter commented on my entry for “Mary Had a Little Lamb” joking if she gets a bear on the bed, she then needs to be OK with his cool racing car bed. Car-shaped-beds-for-cool-boys-room-designs-9
It immediately reminded me of the ’88 movie “Big” staring Tom Hanks. Enjoy this classic scene from the movie. I will admit that if I went to a guys loft with a trampoline in it…that would be pretty sweet!

Big (1988) – Trampoline Scene from Žarko Simović on Vimeo.

The 2014 Spring Fashion Report from the Runway

On Wednesday of this week, I attended a Spring Trend Presentation hosted by Neiman Marcus Stanford Center at the gorgeous Rosewood Sand Hill Hotel. It was an intimate setting with around 75 guests who enjoyed wine, culinary nibbles, mingling, followed by an informal presentation of spring trends for men and women.Neiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project Glimmer

Before the fashion show commenced, there was a nice presentation about a local Bay Area non-profit called Project Glimmer. Project Glimmer was started by a Silicon Valley venture capitalist Sonja Perkins. Simply put, this non-profit pulls donations of gifts (think costume jewelry you’ve had in your closet forever or perfumes) and distributes them to underprivileged women and girls in the Bay Area. In total, Project Glimmer has donated more than 45,000 gifts and are always looking for people to get involved.
Neiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project Glimmer
Here we see that DENIM pops with the right accessories, don’t be afraid to mix washes.
Neiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project Glimmer
Theory denim jacket:$335
Haute hippie white blouse:$295
Jbrand denim pant:$202
Cusp necklace 2 stone necklace :$75
Gucci denim handbag:$1230
Cusp earring:$48
Prada silver/beige wedge:$650
And another play on demin hereNeiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project Glimmer Neiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project Glimmer I need this seriously fabulous wrap skull scarf bracelet by Alexander McQueen! As you see, backpacks are everything this season as well. Effortless chic.Neiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project GlimmerNeiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project Glimmerphoto 1

White pants are a major trend for men for SPRING, Manolo only makes drivers for men no other styles, exclusive to NM. Men can wear pink too, you’ll see pops of orange this Spring too
Isaia blue/red plaid blazer:$3495
Nm white pocket square:$45
Isaia pink plaid button down:$450
Orange Neiman Marcus orang vneck cashmere:$195
Manolo blahnik teal driving shoe:$545
Zegna white pant:$375 Neiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project Glimmer
AMAZING beading on dress and shoes, it’s not about just one tone of pink it’s all shades of pink. And don’t take everything serious, pair Oscar with a bomber jacket and make a black tie dress fun with a less serious jacket! photo copy 7
Oscar de la renta floral dress:$5990
Rebecca Taylor white jacket:$495
Trend jewelry:$325
Valentino red swirl:$1195
Valentino red studded handbag:$3795Neiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project Glimmerphoto 5photo 2 copy 2
White with black, NOT black with white will be huge for SPRING
The row black leather bow tie top:$2490
Alexander McQueen white trouser:$785
Alexander McQueen white with black cuff:$345
Alexander McQueen black with white cuff:$345
Blush wrap around balenciaga bracelet:$195
Blush crossbody/clutch balenciaga clutch:$1095
Jimmy choo black/white pump:$595
When I saw those Jimmy Choo’s…I nearly jumped off my seat to grab them! Another play on white with black and not black with white.Neiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project Glimmerphoto 3Neiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project Glimmer

Anything Valentino and neon pink will always be so chic. PINK really makes white with black pop, the matching PINK shoes and bag make an egdy outfit look a bit sweeter and more approachable
The row black leather pant:$2290
The row black and white blouse:$750
Balenciaga sunnies:$675
Trend pearl necklace:$350
Cusp leather jacket:$368
Valentino pink handbag:$2195
Hot pink Valentino flat:$695Neiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project GlimmerNeiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project Glimmer

Very fresh and modern white with black, the Jimmy Choo heel with a bit of transparent pink and black leather jacket adds some interest to this demure dress.
Joie black leather: $928
Alexander wang black/white dress:$745
Proenza Schouler white clutch:$1675
Oscar de la renta earring:$350
Jimmy choo heel sandal:$895Neiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project GlimmerNeiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project Glimmerphoto copy 3

We’re not suppose to play favorites in fashion but I LOVE this Mary Katrantzou skirt, totally on trend with the artistic print trend.And very on trend for SHIRT CHIC (white button downs will be big in SPRING) with the white equipment blouse.The Charlotte Olympia pink heels are super sweet. Love that she calls the platform an island, what woman doesn’t want to float around on an island all day!
Mary katrantzou skirt:$1435
Equipment white blouse:$208
Jason wu blush pink leather jacket:$3990
Dior sunnies:$450
Saint Laurent gold clutch:$990
Cusp pink earring:$50
Cusp gold/green necklace:$50
Charlotte Olympia pink shoes:$945Neiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project GlimmerNeiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project Glimmer

Sydney’s look is a great play on pink and mixing of high end designers with CUSP items. I think this Stella McCartney printed top is adorable and easily dressed up with this L’agence jacket and gold rhinestone necklace from CUSP. I really love the white trousers from the ROW which keeps it all fresh- who knew those Olsen twins would grow up to be such great designers, but they have and we’re so happy to be carrying their line. I also think the Lanvin bag adds so much sophistication and who can resist a sparkle peep toe- especially when it’s a Louboutin!
Stella McCartney printed top:$385
Pink and white L’agence jacket:$450
The row white trouser:$450
Lanvin pink handbag:$1640
Cusp gold necklace:$95
Alexis bittar earring:$345
Loubotin sparkle peep toe:$845 Neiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project Glimmer Models striking a poseNeiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project GlimmerNeiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project GlimmerIt’s all about the sunglasses!Neiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project Glimmer LOVING these gorgeous accessories!Neiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project Glimmer Perfectly pretty for Spring!Neiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project GlimmerNeiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project GlimmerNeiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project Glimmer I got a lot of compliments and questions about my ensemble. What am I wearing? I have a pair of light demin 7 boyfriend “Josefina” skinny jeans on that I cuffed paired with some YSL nude pumps, a Zoe and Sam silk blouse, pink with gold scarf, a Louis Vuitton Alma GM color Rose Angelique (with monogram ball accessory), and my topper jacket is vintage. I bought the coat a year ago in the desert (Palm Desert area) at a little vintage store. It has this fabulous brass buckle that secures the coat together and as you can tell it is very delicate. There is no brand to this one-of-a-kind piece. Someone made it by hand…my guess in the 50’s. Some ladies at the fashion show came up to me and said they were taking bets on “how much” it was and if it was Valentino. To their complete shock, I shared it cost less than a sushi dinner for two (sans booze). Neiman Marcus Spring Trend Presentation with Bentley SF and Rosweood Sand Hill to Benefit Project Glimmer Samantha Hartwell of Neiman Marcus Palo Alto, Sonja Perkins of Project Glimmer, and my dear friend Renee Coker….

A few NM Spring 2014 Must Have’s:
Artistic Prints, Pinks (from blush to anything but shy), the pink lip, summer booties, white & black (partners in style), demin on demin, backpacks, layered bracelets (all eyes on the wrist)

Twitter: @neimanmarcus @linxdating @GlimmerSF

Dating with Today’s Technologies from a Man’s Perspective

Luke Kilpatrick talks with Robert Scoble on dating in the modern era from a man’s perspective. This video covers how to improve your online profile, how to attract people into your world, apps that work (popular ones including Tinder and dealing with rejection). Furthermore, learning to attract the people you want in your life and asking the right questions when meeting someone new (in order to make that person associate you with a positive framework). Additionally how important it is to use “you” instead of lots of “I”‘s when writing your online profile and knowing the right photos to use for online, etc.

Luke talks to Robert about “the exclusive approach” for those types who want to attract the “top 10%” in their world through networks through Linx Dating. He says Linx is ideal for those who have done the self-improvement, are truly ready for something new, and something ultra personalized. As Robert mentions, Linx is created for executives…

Wanna Increase Your Odds of Falling In Love? Here’s How!

I am continually reminded that it is about the basics when it comes to dating. My clients tell me so much information and I soak it all up like a sponge. Here are my top 16 tidbits (I tried for 10 but there were too many good ones.)

1. If you are frazzled from a crazy work day, take 5 minutes before your date to do some deep breathing, reset yourself, and shake off the work stress. First impressions are everything. Try to do everything you can to enter the date with a fresh outlook, a kick in your step, confidence, and a vibrancy about you. If deep breathing doesn’t work for you, figure out what your quickest “reset button” is and learn to use it.

2. On your date try the simple act of listening more than you speak. Ask questions and show a keen, genuine interest in getting to know whom you are out with.

3. Even if you know that your date is not ultimately for you, always remember that the world is a small place. In other words, reputation is everything, so be kind, considerate, and respectful. Although you might have quickly made up your mind, spending an hour with your date won’t hurt you. In actually might pay large dividends in your personal life. You never know who your date is friends with. Keep it on the up and up and perhaps he/she will introduce you to one of their friends.

4. Don’t ever, ever stand anyone up. Your name goes in an infamous little coveted black book. See #3, above, if you are still considering standing someone up.

5. Stop trying so hard. Just be yourself. Let the proverbial hair down. Stop bragging or peacocking. Do you want to come across as self-absorbed? I didn’t think so.

6. Show some vulnerability, be human, be wise. Share something personal. Watch how your date reacts verbally and non-verbally. If anything, it will be telling and a good dating “data point.”

7. Remember that your date is in the same boat as you and probably has the same, if not more, nerves than you. He/she is human too. It’s ok to have butterflies – you’re not a robot are you?

8. Brush up on world affairs and current events. Try to be in the know and be prepared to engage in a wide range of interesting topics.

9. If you are dieting, don’t tell your date you need to drop 10. Order some sashimi and a salad, skip the booze, and a diet coke. No one wants to hear about how you struggle with weight. It just isn’t sexy.

10. If you talk about your ex for more than 10 minutes, then maybe you aren’t over your ex. Dating too soon after a break-up or divorce can be disastrous.

11. Watch your alcohol intake. 2 glasses is fine, 5 is not. Slurring isn’t attractive, neither is driving under the influence. Be responsible and take an uber if you’re going to drink. You know what happens when you lose judgment. You might do something you’ll later regret.

12. SLOW DOWN. Stop dating in such high volume that you lose focus on the end goal of finding true love. Think with an intelligent approach of quality over quantity.

13. Even if you are unsure as to how you feel about your date (but think he/she is worth continuing getting to know over the course of more date(s)), express yourself and communicate. Let your date know that you are having fun, enjoying the evening, and that it would be fun to do it again. Your date is not a mind reader. Furthermore your date might be wondering how you feel about him/her. Give your date a verbal roadmap.

14. FLIRT. What? Are we in a business meeting and about to fall asleep on a conference call? Do the dance and reveal the sassy, fun, flirty, side of you. Do you want to fall into the friendship zone?

15.
If you’re a cerebral type, try to get out of your head and work on tapping into feeling. Over-analyzing everything on the date (and after) can be exhausting.

16.
Don’t judge a book by its cover. Never been into the bohemian, coffee shop drinking guy who lives in a loft in the Mission? Or the preppy Cow Hollow girl? You just never know who will end up surprising you. Whoever figures out the secret sauce for what chemistry really is, will retire on a very large private island with a lifetime of mai tais and foot massages.

This Week in Perspective

It’s been extremely busy at Linx HQ. I am still blown away that January is officially over. Have you noticed how some people still have Christmas trees in their windows and lights still decorating their homes? Did they not get the memo that the holidays are over? Hilarious. There is a home in my neighborhood that is still all lit up at night…right out of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

This past week was filled with tons of client meetings over breakfast at the Rosewood Sand Hill Hotel, coffee in SOMA, and in the privacy of our historic offices. We admitted new members this week…a quick snapshot includes a handsome 32-year old 6’0″ guy who is passionate about surfing in his free time, a witty 33-year old male with a devilish smile and wildly impressive career (who has been a vegetarian his whole life), and a 50-something real estate professional who loves travel, his kids, and Bay Area living. We also had a lovely visit with a young mid 20’s MD female member who was so sweet to bring us the most decadent homemade cupcakes (flourless chocolate w sea salt and carmel and a coconut tropical unbelievably fabulous concoction!) As you can see we hated them. 😉 vscocam1571

We spent a few hours conducting an in-home closet consultation for a vibrant, mature, and gorgeous 24-year old female. She hired us to edit her wardrobe, help her create looks (looks for work, work into dates, weekend wear, dressy styles etc). The great thing is that our client already has such an impressive wardrobe and everything she pretty much needs…it was just a matter of figuring out what works with what and helping her streamline things. Also her request and wish was to get her wearing color…not so much black all the time.

In working with our client, we also removed items that she has had since high school (yes high school..including her old prom dress…ok ok, she is only 24 years young!) and will be donating four huge garbage bags to Goodwill as a result. We put tons of looks together she already had in her closet (black 7 skinny jeans, silk Joie tank, paired with a tight Vince leather jacket zipped up accentuating her TINY waist and model physique, punchy colorful pashmina, black patent leather Louboutin pumps, and a great tote to top off her modern and very versatile look (so easy to transition from day to night). She was so impressed by our hard work, she’s hired us to come back this coming week for more wardrobe work.Christian-Louboutin-Pigalle The famous, highly coveted red CL soles…

My assistant (who is a very skilled photographer among many of her talents) has been snapping pics of our client in her various ensembles and will be creating a beautiful look book to keep in her boudoir for when getting ready. VINCE-WO127_V1 Vince leather jacket on a model

It’s been busy with creative projects as well….speaking to lots of media folks from all around the globe…including entertaining folks up from LA and showing them the Silicon Valley life. Beyond this, lots of matchmaking and presenting clients with our match ideas. This week alone we’ve done a ton of really good matches and are excited to hear how those first dates go. I’ve learned so much from my clients this past month- fascinating trends we are seeing in Silicon Valley and lots of interesting stories.

Here’s to an exciting February ahead for everyone. Stay focused on your New Years resolutions and don’t start slipping now. I have just completed my annual health “cleanse” I do every Jan for 31 days (major cardio, super green diet, no diary, no bad carbs, no alcohol) and I feel GREAT. Even though I am looking forward to a glass of wine (or two!) tonight with friends in San Francisco, I am making sure to set strict rules for myself to stay focused and very disciplined as I enter February. Healthy living is a LIFESTYLE and in order to be at my best in my life, I know I have to do certain things (sufficient sleep, lot of good clean eating, restricting my so called vices (e.g, drinking ,sugar, cheese) working out with my trainer multiple times a week, and taking time off from the daily grind to reset).

If you want more information about my cleanse ping me. This is my 7th year doing it…and I’m hooked! I’m not the only one either- when I interviewed a young CEO on Thursday, he is doing a 90 day cleanse. He said he sleeps better, has total mental clarity, is happier, and much more balanced.

Fun and funky old school workout song for you to load onto the trusty ipod.

Searching for a Princess for our VIP| Are You His Match?

The question on the mind of most guys and gals as they embark on a first (blind) date is some form of “What’s he/she really like?” It’s certainly on my mind as I go to meet a woman for the first time, knowing only a few facts about her. So what am I really like?

I could tell you that I’m a pilot, a photographer and a lawyer, but that doesn’t tell you much about what I’m like. I could be a terrible pilot, an even worse photographer and a mean or incompetent lawyer. I could give you my basic demographics – 6ft, 195lbs, early 50’s, Caucasian male, no police record, born and raised a Texan. Fills in a couple blanks, I realize, but doesn’t say much about my personality. I could also provide you the usual laundry list of fun and fabulous activities in which I, like most other guys, regularly engage in the hopes of attracting attention — such as bungee jumping from a crop-duster, lion taming with a swizzle stick, or karaoke at Carnegie Hall. But as impressive as those activities are, they don’t convey much about my personality or my ability to be a good first date (let alone a good second or third date).

Perhaps if I told you what kind of princess charming I am searching for, that would tell you something about what I’m like. So, I could list all the fine and fantastic qualities I hope my princess charming will have – she is smart, sassy, self-assured, sensitive, single, sporty, spontaneous, sure-footed, sensible, and somewhere early 30’s to early 40’s. But really, what would that say about me? Nothing much except that I have laughably high expectations and a fondness for alliteration. And in any event, making such a list sounds a lot like writing out a shopping list and I don’t like shopping lists, even when I’m headed to Safeway or Costco. I guess that’s why I always forget at least one thing and have to make a second trip. But I drive a non-Prius electric car (I keep a spare just in case), so making multiple trips to the store doesn’t really contribute to global warming, except the utility company may have to pollute the environment to make the electricity for my car, so I guess I’m partly to blame for that, but I usually remember 3 or 4 new things to get on the second trip so it’s not really a wasted trip, and there’s always a need to go to Petco because my dogs consume so much food, but alas I digress. Now back to the subject at hand.

So instead of all that, let me offer for the next woman who happens to be thinking about meeting me on a first date some accurate information that might be useful to her in answering the aforementioned question. I will list a few principles which I use as a general guide on how I approach people and life, something similar to “Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handy”, only not as demented.

Perhaps this may provide some help in answering the “What’s he really like?” or “Is this the kind of guy I want to be stuck with over a two hour dinner?” question. Perhaps we already have some common ground. So here it is . . . .

1) Find the humor in any situation or person, no matter how grim or dull

2) Take your work, but not yourself, seriously

3) Be grateful for what you have, and thankful for what you do not

4) Treat everyone with sincerity and respect, but don’t take you-know-what from anybody

5) Be curious about all things, large medium and small and never stop learning something new

6) Everyone is trying to stay “one step ahead” – better to be three or four instead

7) Find compromise and pick your battles wisely, or you’ll end up fighting all your life

8) Avoid the extremes in all things, too much of anything is not a good thing (there are one or two exceptions we can discuss)

9) You learn about people by listening to them, you don’t learn when you’re talking

10) If you want the finer things in life, then work hard so you can afford them, but leave yourself plenty of time to enjoy them

And above all,

Make time to search out the great places in this Great Big World, places such as (these are photographs taken from our VIP)…grandcanyonThe Grand Canyon at sunset, a changing symphony of light and shadows and color

HaleakalaHaleakala at sunrise, from the Pacific’s Mt. Olympus, above the clouds and the entire world

MValleyMonument Valley shrouded in clouds, appearing as it did millions of years ago

ABQA hot air balloon festival, an endless colorful parade taking flight in the crisp morning air to the cheers of thousands

FlyingCloud surfing on an ethereal blanket that scarcely conceals the earth below

TurkeySunrise on the Dardanelles, floating between two continents, each rich with its own history and culture

If you have read this and you are wondering if you might qualify as a match for our VIP, email me: amy@linxdating.com. I have personally spent considerable time with our client and can attest to the fact that he is a genuinely warm, funny, quick witted, man who is truly a gentleman through and through. He’s masculine, chivalrous, successful, upbeat, and has made a nice home for himself in the Bay Area. The missing piece is the right match. Are you that girl? Email me if we’ve sparked your curiosity!

What Do Bay Area Men and Women Really Want? Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs

We compile a lot of very useful data about eligible men and women based on our extensive get-to-know-you process. Sometimes we see interesting trends and nuggets of dating wisdom that clients and friends of Linx share about what they really look for in a match and what turns them off.

Here are some random insights into the world of matchmaking at Linx in Silicon Valley. lovely-couple-picture

Men don’t want to hear about a woman’s dramas, dramatic past breakups, and complaining in general!!

A lot of women who feel a connection on a first date feel that it is completely appropriate to do a “data dump” of tons of information on that first date. This includes talking at great length about the ex, the numbers of guys she is dating, how desirable she is, and just unleashing a lot of emotional baggage on the date- this could include saga stories about work (i.e., hating the job and so on) and just being plain negative. This comes a situation of “too much too soon” syndrome and information that is inappropriate for a first date. No one wants to hear it. That is why women have girlfriends and do mani and pedi days with one another. Husbands don’t even want to hear this stuff half the time, let alone a first date!

First date turn-offs for women…#1 stop playing games!!

After a great first date where there appeared to be sizzling chemistry on both sides it can become a dicey situation of game playing. There are so many guys that obsess about calling on the right day after the first date, playing hard to get, not returning calls, and the list goes on. If you are into someone, communicate that. If they aren’t into you, move on. My advice is to be yourself and take ownership of how you feel. Although men are often even more scared of rejection then women are, you gotta jump all in…or else….you might never know!

Top three most oft-cited first date turn-ons for men


#1 A woman who accentuates her femininity and flirts with ease.

#2 A woman who laughs easily and is confident in who she is.

#3 A woman who is complex and intellectually provocative. She possesses knowledge around a wide range of subjects. It means being interested in ideas, regardless of the topic, and being willing to engage with them. This often goes hand in hand with being interested in books, politics, film, the arts, dining, and travel. pictures.4ever.eu-couple-kiss-158478

Top three most oft-cited first date turn-ons for women


#1 He was a total gentleman throughout the evening. He is polite, opens doors, is attentive, thoughtful, and is always making sure his date is content throughout the meal, asking good questions, and is paying attention to his date versus looking around the room with a wandering eye or a “grass is always greener” mentality.

#2 He ends the evening with conviction and declares his intent to see his date again. He looks her in the eye and states his intentions of wanting to see her again and kisses her softly saying he will call her tomorrow and he does so the next day as promised. This is so simple but so many guys seem to miss the ball with this one.

#3 Tall, dark, and handsome ok, ok…. at least clean-cut, nicely dressed, wearing a good pair of Italian shoes. Gets them every time. 😉