A Dozen Easy Date Ideas for April…

Blog written by: Linx staff member, Michael Norman

Now that days are getting longer and the clocks have sprung ahead, the Bay area is teeming with cheap and creative options for you and your next date. We’ve tried to find something to please every palate and every budget (actually, these are all free) so don’t be afraid to try something new; in fact, sharing new experiences is an important part of any healthy relationship. Even if you are without a date, head to these cool events and you never know who you will end up meeting! In fact, grab a friend and try all of these out, keeping an open mind and a fun attitude. Keep in mind that most of these are monthly (and sometimes weekly) events, so if April doesn’t work, May might be an option.

Tuesday, April 1st, hours vary: Be a Voyeur(or at least take in an exhibit or two)

Going to a museum is pretty standard early date fare; you can go at your own pace, find out things that interest each other, and follow it up with drinks/dinner/coffee… or even more. Thankfully, San Francisco is full of museums, and admission to some of the best happens to be free on the first Tuesday of every month. Check out the de Young , the SFMOMA, the Legion of Honor, the YBCA, and even the Conservatory of Flowers on the first day of April in 2014. And no, the free admission is not an April Fool’s joke.

Thursday, April 3rd, 6-10pm: Feed a Starving Artist (or just yourselves)

The Upper Polk/Tenderloin Art Walk takes place on the first Thursday evening of every month. More than a dozen galleries stay open late to participate in this mini-festival, and there are plenty of special events and food trucks to round out the experience.

Sunday, April 6th, 2pm: Visit the Gates of Hell (while keeping good company)

On the first Sunday of every month, you can take a free and guided tour of the Stanford University Outdoor Sculpture Collection. Artists include Claes Oldenburg, Richard Serra, and of course, Auguste Rodin.

Tuesday, April 8th, 6-9pm: War of the Words (Get ready for prattle)

Take part in the Radar Reading series at the Main Branch of the SF Public Library. The series focuses on upcoming and emerging local authors who write in a variety of styles. Hearing a piece in the author’s own voice can put any work in an entirely new perspective.

Saturday, April 12th, 10:30am: Expose Yourself to Some Art-chitecture

Have you ever wondered why Treasure Island looks so unlike the rest of San Francisco? Learn more about the lasting impact of architect Timothy Pflueger, and the his ideas behind the Art Deco structures that were the celebrated backbone of the Golden Gate Internation Exposition of 1939-40. We also have him to thank for some very outstanding local works by Diego Rivera.

Saturday, April 12th, 12-4pm: Get Your Hands Dirty (while doing a good deed)

Join the monthly volunteer work party at the ECO SF school farm, where the two of you can learn more about farming, ecology, sustainability while developing your green thumbs. All skill levels (and refreshments) are more than welcome.

Saturday, April 12th, 1-4pm: Get All Decked Out (but don’t go overboard)

Join the Cal Sailing Club for their monthly Open House, where you can get a free introductory sailing lesson. Quarterly memberships and lessons are cheap and available if you find yourself bitten by the sailing bug, but it all starts with getting (your feet) wet.

Wednesday, April 1th, 7:30-11pm: Spend a Night with the Gintelligentsia

This event isn’t actually free (it’s $8 per person), but Nerd Night at Rickshaw might be just your thing if you like hearing really smart people talk about their passions while consuming large amounts of ethanol. Recent topics included microbes, private space exploration, and what books to include in a library meant to survive beyond the end of civilization. Think and drink at the same time!

Thursday, April 17th, 5-8pm: A Different Take on Men’s Furnishings

The third Thursday of every month brings late hours at the SF Design Center, where you can shop for the furniture of your (or her) dreams while sipping on local wines and delectable edibles. You may want to stick with white wine, just in case you have to buy the couch if you stain it.

Thursday, April 17th, 7-10pm: Rate the Game, Date the Player

Every month, the Go Game Headquarters hosts an open “Sandbox” for developers of real world, real time games to test their newest logic and strategy creations on anyone willing to show up and play. Set up a friendly wager with your date, and help a fellow entrepreneur create their own kind of magic.

Wednesday, April 23rd, 7-9pm, Strive for Work-Life Balance (by walking a tightrope)

The Circus Center in San Francisco offers free monthly classes that give you the opportunity to ride a unicycle, learn to juggle, walk a tightrope, and practice myriad other circus skills. If you’ve ever been told you need more balance in your life, this might be the place for you. Clowning around may or may not be encouraged.

Saturday, April 26th, 11am-4pm: My Baby is a 10. We Dressing to the (Ca)nines

If the two of you need a double date with your dogs, or simply have one canine companion who’s tired of being a third wheel, the annual Dogfest in Duboce Park should be right up your alley. This is the biggest SF dog event of the year, so hang out with other dog owners while your own canine kid competes for Best Coat, Best Costume, and plenty of other high honors. Dogfest is also a great date opportunity for those of you who also have (human) children; there is face painting, a bouncy house, and plenty of other kid-friendly diversions. Beware: You might be tempted to add another member to your family, and volunteers in the Dog Rescue zone will be there to help you do just that.

This Week in Perspective at Linx

Ever since January 1st, I’ve been inundated with matchmaking and membership requests, trying to keep my head above water. There has been a ton of excitement and many calls from incredible folks including some major high profile people in technology, finance, and creative industries such as film or design. A lot of really cool clients have been matched – some are in the infancy stage of really exploring things and others are already coupling up. Some go on ski vacations together, others jet off to the tropics. The demand for Silicon Valley matchmaking from the 20’s crowd is as strong or even stronger than that coming from the 30+ group. We have even been getting a lot of really fantastic older men lately coming through our door. These men have typically been married before and refreshingly desire a match close to their own age (50 +)- so the demand and the supply are coming simultaneously from every age and demographic, like they rarely have before.

We’ve also been getting a lot of requests for our date coaching by professionals from all around the Bay Area. I cannot express HOW transformational this really is. You do not need to be a client to hire us for our coaching. With the help of a customized date guide prepared expressly for the client and two hours of in-person intensive coaching, those that hire us go from doubting themselves to Cheshire cats beaming with confidence. All it takes is two hours and our techniques are groundbreaking – there is nothing like it anywhere. Email me for more info!

This week we have client interviews and are hosting a sold out mini meet-and-greet series of interviews for women who are looking to qualify to meet the VIPs. Due to such high demand, we have blocked out an additional date for March 28th for another day of one-on-one mini meet-and-greets for qualifying applicants.

As we approach March and the brink of Spring, I ask you all to cast a wide net. Don’t focus so much on his swagger and exterior; focus more on his soul. Stop worrying about what others think and look within. Ask yourself if are you happy with where you are in your life. What do you need in order to be happy? I can tell you this much- confidence is the #1 rule of attraction. Men and women both love a mate who finds confidence from deep within – a super-confident (but NOT arrogant) person carries (him) herself in that certain way that emits the right pheromones. We all know it when we encounter it.

If he doesn’t call, move on. If she doesn’t wow you after two dates, give her the courtesy of closing the loop. Don’t lose sight of your New Year’s resolutions. Keep a steady head, be clear, stay focused on your goals and remember to have fun. Finally, the next time you are on a date, be a little carefree – don’t worry about trying to be perfect. Laugh out loud if you feel like it. Chances are (s)he will like that quality about you. And, at the end of the date, ask yourself DO I LIKE HIM/HER, not does (s)he like me. Digging deep and looking into your soul builds strength and that is one of the best confidence boosters out there. Have a great week and I hope you enjoy the new layout of the Linx Line blog. XO

This Week in Perspective

My head is spinning here. Somehow June is nearly to an end…and July…is right around the corner. How did that happen? Things are incredibly busy at Linx. We are extremely excited to announce a very large VIP celebrity search based in Los Angeles soon (details to follow in subsequent blog post featuring who we are searching for and a bit about our new male VIP) and we just can’t seem to keep up with the extraordinary high demand here in the Silicon Valley and Bay Area at large.

Last week we hosted a very successful two-day event screening tons of impressive men and women who have so graciously submitted their information to meet our clients. We hand selected a few of these great professionals who make a solid match for our current VIPs (and other clients of ours too.) These candidates we selected each possess something unique that stands out, thus contributing to the overall diversity that the Linx network represents. A random sampling of who we thought would be nice fits for Linx are: a confident and “salt of the earth” early 30’s gentleman exec living in Palo Alto, a gorgeous Mixed heritage 20-something Harvard MBA female, and blond late 20’s outdoorsy female exec from San Diego. I also interviewed a new male VIP who’s a truly remarkable great guy. He’s early 50’s, an exec, super affable, handsome, and new to the Bay Area. If you’re a 40-something fun and warmhearted attractive female who would love to meet a true southern gentleman, ping me today.

Last week, I also got to visit with acclaimed author, Justina Chen, who is currently working on her new book. Tina flew down from Seattle to visit me and watch me in action to understand a day in the life of a matchmaker. She’s working on a new novel about a generational family of matchmakers. So exciting! Her latest novel is called Return To Me. It is about the struggles that arise from betrayal, the uncertainty of life for a teenage girl, and the happiness found within the depths of your heart. Tina gave me a couple of her books to enjoy as a parting gift. One is a Survival Guide for the Blindsided and Brokenhearted called “What Now.” This guide helps women get through traumatic break-ups and life after divorce. Never a pleasant subject. For any Linx blog readers that are going through a hard time, I really recommend this guide to help turn your dust into stardust! http://www.amazon.com/What-Now-Survival-Blindsided-Brokenhearted/dp/0988717409/ref=sr_1_6/175-1703156-1110708?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1372197666&sr=1-6

Tomorrow we have many meetings and interviews at the office. We have a stunning Ivy League graduate who is incredibly classy and poised meeting us and an international male dance champion to name two! We’ll be meeting with a very desirous male CEO end of week who will be our new VIP. With all of these exciting appointments, there is a lot of matchmaking taking place and talking to new candidates. Interestingly, a lot of people are off the market right now. Either people they’ve met on their own or though Linx. Summer is a time to head out of the house and workplace and be more available. Put yourself out there, be you, be confident, and friendly. On a separate note, I really am trying to find a date for a big Link & Drink soiree. August maybe!

Valentine’s Date Scenario One : Over the Moon for You!

With Valentine’s Day less than 21 days away (where does the time go?) we thought we’d remind you to start thinking about how you plan to spend the day.

We were delighted when our friends at Tog + Porter offered their help on coming up with feminine and flirty outfit ideas. In fact, they even took it a step further and asked me to come up with specific date scenarios for them.

Together, we’ll be posting three distinct dates, each with a different relationship status and of course outfit! They recently posted the first date “Over the Moon for You” in the style guide section of their site.

 

Here’s the scenario I gave them: 

He’s a total romantic and rolls out the red carpet for his lady that he now calls his girlfriend. He tells her to dress up in a cocktail dress and heels for a night on the town. Her style by day is a bit of a risk taker, downtown chic combined with lots of patterns, textures, and obscure designers. She is the type to splurge on a few very pricey items each year and find fabulous bargains on others.

On Valentine’s, his driver arrives at her condo and he greets her with a stunning bouquet of her favorite flowers. The couple heads to Bix for live jazz and the perfect kir royales. Although she always says she doesn’t want one, he suggests her favorite “off the menu” mini truffled grilled cheeses for an appetizer. Is this guy a keeper or what?

Dinner follows and he surprises her with savory and sweet soufflés at Cafe Jacqueline in North Beach to share. The driver takes them back to her apartment where he walks her to the door. He pulls out a red box in his coat pocket. Not an engagement ring yet (too soon!) but a stunning Cartier gold love bracelet. She’s over the moon! He’s thrilled he lucked out on such a gorgeous catch!  An incredible kiss follows and an ‘I love you’ via text 5 minutes later.

So what’s a gal to wear on such a date? Here’s what Tog + Porter came up with: 

Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to wear a flirty red cocktail dress. This dress can be worn two different ways. First, it can be paired back to this Veda leather jacket (obscure designer), lace booties (texture/pattern), and a classic black clutch. Or it can be paired back to tone on tone black polka dot tights (texture/pattern), simple black pumps, and again the classic black clutch.

The second look, which includes a bronze peplum dress (textured fabric/on trend with the peplum) can also be worn two ways. It can be worn with opaque tights and booties for a bit of edge, or sans tights and just the classic peep-toe. 

The studded heart bag is just the right amount of embellishment where it can stand on it’s own or easily compliment a lovely Valentine’s gift.

Need help putting together your Valentine’s Day outfit? Tog + Porter can help. Sign up for a style consult today. Need help coming up with date ideas, give me a ring. Also stay tuned for my two other dates scenarios: Adventurous and Quirky and Come to My House for Dinner. Coming Soon! XO

 

Lessons Learned from Business | Mantras in Dating

I have had quite a few emails from China from a source (with a Western guys name) asking to help in the request of working with a 20-something Chinese girl (based in China) to locate her a Silicon Valley billionaire, yes b as in billionaire. The guy who has been emailing me says he is represented by her family or something like that and I have always suspected that something doesn’t feel right with this whole thing.

One day out of the blue, I got a business contract sent via email to sign a deal with them when I don’t know ONE thing about this girl or her “type”  (let alone any information about her “dating agent”) other than she needs a billionaire because her family is deep in the political scene or some crock of you know what like that.

I ignored that email and then another one came today asking to move forward. I had suggested when I was in Hong Kong back in the Fall that this so called agent for the girl and I meet up at a public spot like a coffee shop in Pacific Place or something like that. He didn’t respond till much later and then said it was because his wife had a baby and he was needing to take care of the baby. Don’t most wealthy “elite” people have help and nannies to be there for the kids?  Even if the agent is not “elite” by Chinese standards, chances are the duty of a mother is to be with the baby and not the father.

My email response today was straightforward telling this guy I am not interested in doing anything with them. I feel the behavior doesn’t add up and net net, it is not ethnical. In other words, no thanks.

On a daily basis, I get so many business requests from media, other aspiring matchmakers to “team up together”, and of course hundreds of inquires from new friends of Linx about being a VIP, meeting a VIP, and much more.

With the constant excitement of running Linx and sheer intensity of what that major responsibility really means, I always remember to go back to “base line” and remember my original business mantras for when I first started my company. I do this to deal with situations like the wacky email from China today.

Be nimble, act decisively, be intelligent, follow your instincts, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself (integrity), forge ahead, be optimistic, be kind, persevere, don’t get caught up in the drama of it all, be compassionate, listen, listen more, and never shy away from saying no.

I say NO a lot at Linx for a variety of reasons. No, this is not a good fit. No, you are not being realistic with your expectations. No, I don’t really think you trust my intuition. No, we actually don’t use algorithms here. No, I don’t have a large staff. No, you are not ready for matchmaking and need some date coaching. No, your outfit if not date worthy.  No, I don’t have the bandwidth to represent you right now. No, I can’t meet after 7:00pm as I am trying to achieve balance in MY life and have a so called “life.”

Last night I received another email from a lovely sounding woman at Stanford asking if I was “for real.” It really caught me off guard wondering WTF. She explained that up to this point, we have only been communicating via email and as such, am I am “legit business.” I was exhausted after a very intense day of VIP client meetings in San Jose, calls, and conducting a mock date in Menlo Park. I wanted to write her and say, “Actually, you called me on my sh*t. I live in Nigeria and this is a total scam.” but I didn’t.

Humor is essential to run a business like Linx. I had to laugh and be like WHAT is she thinking. Sure, she is doing her so called due diligence but seriously? Acting on that initial instinctual response is sometimes not the right thing to do. Like anything in life, let it simmer and wait to respond for at least 24 hours before you do so. Instead of writing something goofy (which even through I felt like doing but never would have actually done), I knew I needed to wait to respond till the next day. Today I will write something sweet and nice explaining how I am not a scam or robot in Africa wiring money into some shell account and instead a little business owner housed on a historic property in Menlo Park. Hasn’t she read any press on Linx? Hmmm.

Life is full of some of the most twisted ironies. The world is also VERY small. This has played out many times this week. I hear and see so much and not to toot my own horn know a lot and know a ton of people. Ex’s couple up with other ex’s of clients, he dated her, she dated him, she had an affair with his friend, the list goes on. Sometimes in hearing all of this, I need to just go in a cave for a bit. Another lesson of being a good business owner is learning to shut off/down at times. Last night after the absolutely good yet taxing day, I simply had to shut off my laptop. Usually at night I am banging out email after email. Saying No to more emails is OK. It allows one to recharge and do the good old reboot if you will mentally. You will be stronger and ready for the next day.

Interestingly, all of these principles and lessons of business ownership apply to your dating.

Be nimble– in dating you need to be resourceful and wise about how you approach the so called scene.

Act decisively– If you say you will go out, go out. Don’t flake on your date. Follow an East Coast attitude that way. New Yorkers don’t make excuses. West Coasters are notorious for wishy washy, flaky behavior.

Be intelligent– About who you choose to date but also when you are on your date. Brush up on all current events and interesting topics to discuss. Men are attracted to a woman who lights up a room because she is confident and smart. Women are attracted to a man who is confident, well versed, and passionate.

Follow your instincts- Especially with online dating if you feel that someone is not authentic in their profile or there is a shadow of doubt in your mind, don’t go out. Through whatever method of dating, if your gut is saying something about your date, follow what your instinct says. Chances are your instincts are correct.

Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself (integrity)- He wants to sleep with you and you aren’t ready but feel the pressure. Tell him to go ‘you know what himself.’ Kidding. Stand up for yourself and say you don’t sleep together unless there is monogamy. Sex aside, if your date puts you in a compromising situation, speaks poorly of others (and you know that is not how you were raised to be), you must have the conviction to stand up for yourself (and in some cases excuse yourself from the date if it is going that poorly and he is just a total pig).

 Forge ahead– Dating can be draining and often frustrating. A series of poor dates can create a hazy attitude and seeing the so called “silver lining” becomes dismal and bleak.  Take a mini break from dating if you are in a rut. After your 2 week “hiatus”, forge ahead and march on.

Be optimistic– some stat I found says that 44% of the adult American population is single. That translates to over 100MM people. Those are a lot of fish in the dating pond. View the pond as a sea and start exploring options today. Also always be an optimist on a date. No one wants to be out with Debbie Downer or Serious Sam. Eeek.

Be kind- to those in your life. Compliment your date. Be kind to the waitstaff. In other words, be a nice person. People are very critical of others especially on first dates. Remember that your date is observing you and watching you. Snapping at the waitstaff, mocking others, or being rude to your date will simply become red flags for your match.  Be someone that others want to be around. Be likable! 

Persevere and don’t get caught up in the drama of it all– When you meet someone right for you, chances are you aren’t going to be asking for all your friends advice. When someone is questionable that you meet, chances are you will be emailing and calling Mom, girlfriends, etc about your date and deconstructing every part of your date.  Everyone always wants to be in each other’s business. Sometimes when it comes to dating, the best thing is to keep your personal life close to you and that is it. Otherwise, everyone will have an opinion and all of a sudden, that can convolute your perception and experience with the person you might like.

Be compassionate- Make a manta to yourself to be empathetic, smile, listen, do small acts of kindness, step into your dates shoes, don’t be judgmental, let your guard down, be vulnerable, admit you are not perfect, be deep, show passion. In other words,  do to others what you would have them do to you.

Listen- “The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” —Ralph Nichols

Listen more- A lot of men and women tell me that they are most impressed when their date later recalls something they said. Focus on your date, put virtual horse blinders on, and listen. Listening and remembering is a huge form of flattery.

Never shy away from saying no– to anything that doesn’t feel right to you when dating.