Create your own Endless Love | Relationship Advice

If you are experiencing a new budding love with someone special, have established exclusivity with your partner, are planning your wedding, or already married, it is essential to place a premium on a regular date night and make a habit of it.

We all live very busy lives- some much more chaotic than others. With hectic commutes, juggling business travel, finding time to exercise, carving out time to see friends and family and keep things happy in your relationship..it can all seem very overwhelming at times. When you add everything up in our lives, it can lead to general “noise.” Putting date night off yet another week can stir up problems later on.

Really ask yourself if you putting the necessary time, devotion, open communication, and support into your relationship. If you haven’t been calendaring date night, ask yourself what brought you both together in the first place? Slow down a little and get to that special place. Sit down with your honey and be proactive to discuss literally calendaring “date night” each week. Take turns planning date night. Keep in mind that date night does not need to be complex or fancy. In fact, too complicated and high-end, might make you both give up on being routine about this.

When planning your weekly date night, simplicity is best but do make a point to look good for your honey. Try a casual new restaurant in town, see a film and go for an ice cream stroll afterwards, cook together and open a great bottle of wine, or drive out to the scenic coastline and breath in the fresh air. My advice would be to *really* look forward to the ritual in this personal couples time each week. It is your special quality time and that with your partner- no one else, no distractions, nada!

According to “The Date Night Opportunity” report from the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, “couples who manage to devote time specifically to one another at least once a week are markedly more likely to enjoy high-quality relationships and lower divorce rates, compared to couples who do not devote as much couple time to one another.”

The study also shares, “couples who spend more time together also report higher levels of communication, sexual satisfaction and commitment. Weekly couple time also offers both married and unmarried, cohabiting couples a chance to de-stress.”

Keeping the Romance Alive!

After a couple of years of marriage, it’s easy to fall into a rut. You’ve gotten what you set out for: the ring, your dreamboat and the title of Mrs. You’re off the market, so who do you have to impress? You’d rather spend your resources on building a family and/or focusing on your career, but making these your sole focus and not making “you” time can lead to bad habits. Style is often a big part of this rut women can fall into…sometimes it’s just not a priority now.

If children are in the picture, you’re dealing with even more challenges: lack of sleep, weight fluctuations, saving for college and most likely covered in drool, snot, sticky fingers and goodness knows what else. Can’t help but think about this scene from Baby Mama.

When it comes to keep to keeping romance alive in your marriage, something many of us struggle with, I was asked by Tog + Porter to share in my ideas considering I am approaching 5 years of wedded bliss.

I wanted to do this piece because it is something I can relate to all too well. I’ve been married nearly half a decade now which is crazy considering it has flown by so quickly. We both work insanely long hours, typically 7 days a week. This means it is all too easy to get caught up in work and distracted in the constant deluge of emails and work stress that it can begin to really “chip away” at the romance that was once so present in the early stages of married bliss. I guess they call it the honeymoon period for a reason!

I think it is really important to remember the simple things in your marriage. What originally brought you both together. What the glue was that linked you together? No matter how chaotic our days are, we always remember to say “I Love You”- even in a text message during the day. Leaving a post-it on one’s morning coffee can be the sweetest affirmation that you love your honey and life is good. I am also a huge believer in date night.

Tog + Porter stylist Camilla Basse says, “I am constantly hearing from clients that when it comes time for date night, they either don’t have any appropriate attire, or they don’t feel good in what they do have. That is often the starting point on helping Tog + Porter clients build their wardrobes. We run through all of the possible date scenarios and put together entire outfits accordingly.  They love knowing that no matter what occasion may come up, they will always have a no fail outfit at the ready and will feel GREAT when they put it on, which is all important when you are keeping the romance alive.”You’re balancing a lot, you have a crazy schedule, we get it. You should feel good in your clothes and they should portray the women you want to be, so you can concentrate on the really important things like checking in with your spouse or your long-term beau.

A good example of our typical day was last Friday. We were non-stop meetings, calls, and running all around doing our things. We both got home around 6:00pm and my husband was about to go do something else, the puppy was barking, and I said ‘Honey, let’s have a glass of wine together and just sit here and catch up.’ I opened a bottle of wine and we just shared that important couple time to catch up and just get to baseline. Remember the emails, texts, calls coming in can all wait. Take the critical 45 minutes to give your honey that check in, support, and love. How was your day? Laugh. Listen. Focus on one another.

We transitioned from chatting in our living room to throwing on a simple little dress for me and cute jeans/dress shirt for him and walked to grab dinner. No worries of traffic or even needing to get all dolled up. We held hands. We laughed. We broke bread together. He indulged me getting frozen yogurt after dinner even though he hates it. We strolled around our little suburban street together gazing in windows. For us it was the perfect easy date night that felt good to connect emotionally and to remember to slow down. Guys are visual, so appearance IS important, even after you’re married. You don’t have to be dressed to the nines 24/7, but it’s important to make some effort every day, not just for your hubbie, but for yourself as well. There are up and downs in every marriage and the reality is it takes work. One of the ways to keep you and your honey continuously growing together and renewing your love is by keeping the romance alive and its nearly impossible to do this if you look and feel frumpy.

Follow me on Twitter @linxdating

Linx Visits Four Seasons Hotel Silicon Valley

Today started out very early in hair and make-up getting ready for a TV interview for ABC 7 local Bay Area news about the Bay Area dating scene and the professionals that hire a firm like Linx to find love.  Air date in May TBD.

I was clearly very focused and shall we say serious here?! Listening and seeing if our first screening appointment meets a match for one of our current VIPs. 

I arrived to the Four Seasons Hotel Silicon Valley to meet the lovely anchor, Kristen Sze, who I worked with behind the scenes to develop exactly the fun story she wanted for the piece.

Beyond the story, my assistant and I were at the hotel meeting a ton of female candidates who submitted their information to see if they have that “it” factor to meet a Linx VIP guy. The first female agreed to let her screening with Linx be filmed for the piece which was great. All mic’ed and wired up, we chatting as we would anyways about men (in some cases boys 😉 ), dating, and what she desires in finding a mate. 

After the first screening, I had a male and female 40-something client show up for mini chats with Kristen on camera about their quest to find love. Everyone was super enthusiastic and generous to carve out time out of their busy days for this unique opportunity.

We also got footage of my male clients lunch date at the hotel which was fabulous and it turns out it is a match! I found a smart, fun, and adventurous client to match him to who also willingly agreed to be part of the story (caveat not showing her face and revealing identity). Outside of the context of the TV date, they actually hit it off and plan to see one another soon both texting me saying they were pumped up and excited to have met one another. Yes! I finally use a Mac after years of being a PC user. I love my Mac!  Was I ever resistant and getting me to switch was an uphill battle but no regrets. 

At around 12:30pm, the cameraman and Kristen cruised out and off to other stories and Aimi (assistant) and I resumed our business as usual. We met with many additional ladies who were each impressive in their own way. It is now up to my team to digest all of the information we gathered and see if there is a unique fit at this moment for one of our VIPs. If that is not the case, I will hold their info and ask they they touch base in a few months. As “not so sexy” as it seems, running a matchmaking business is a game of inventory, supply, and demand.

As always the Four Seasons Hotel Palo Alto went above and beyond the call of duty being so gracious and kind to us. From free wireless, little berries and chocolates to keep us going (on the house!), super friendly staff, and a very easy place to meet clients, I highly recommend the hotel for any of your business needs and also for date night (head to Quattro for amazing food and wine!) I hold the hotel close to my heart as for some of you know, it’s where my hubbie proposed back in 2007! Yeay for getting engaged! Excuse me…bonjour! …the way to a matchmakers heart is absolutely through fresh berries and little “guilt free” chocolates (in a silver box no less).  

A matchmaker’s job is never ending. I now have many clients emails to tend to, a match here and there, quick trip to the office, and then to bed early for another casting day tomorrow!