Bay Area Cupid

Recruiting | Successful Business Woman in Silicon Valley | Media Opp

Linx has been approached by a top German TV outlet who is looking for a successful

business woman residing in Silicon Valley who would be interested in being interviewed

for a feature segment on Silicon Valley. The production crew will be visiting Silicon Valley

in early April. If you are someone who would be interested in this opportunity to chat about

being an enterprising woman in Silicon Valley and are not camera shy, please email me ASAP

amy@linxdating.com and I will put you in touch with the head of production. Please note that

you or anyone you know does NOT need to be single. You just need to be living in Silicon Valley,

run a successful business, and be up for this fun opportunity.

Linx Testimonial

Another testimonial came in from a 50-something male client in technology residing in the Silicon Valley. He’s in an exclusive relationship with his Linx match (and he’s her very first set-up through Linx!) 78871dfa8f1643830a468415316bf0a7

“I worked with Amy for over a year, and I’m extremely impressed — her screening process is thorough and her network is extensive. She’s very responsive and professional, always checking in to get your feedback about dates. She is genuinely caring and committed. I enjoyed her events, and was introduced to a number of intelligent, attractive women through her service. Thanks to Amy, I am now in a long term, committed relationship with an amazing woman. Priceless”

A Few Insider Tips | First Date Advice

iStock_000019428153SmallHappy New Years! We hope your New Year is off to an exceptional start and that you are starting to think about dating again after the holiday rush. Even the most seasoned daters among us can use a refresher course in the ins and outs of dating. Dating is a skill and preparation is key so you arrive confident, relaxed, and importantly enthusiastic! Here are a few key basic pieces of advice for men and women based on well over a decade of experience in matching thousands of Bay Area professionals.

For the Guys…

1. Call with a plan. When you call to schedule your date, have two or three restaurants in mind, as well as a few days/times that work for you. That way you don’t get caught up in the early planning stages. For those guys who are rusty at dating and get caught up with nerves when calling her, it’s fine to even script this out if you need to. Make a checklist. Whatever works best for you.

2. Seek expert advice. If you don’t know how to order wine or aren’t even sure what seems like the best dish on the menu, ask for advice. Restaurants are full of “experts” so let the server or sommelier direct your choices if you’re not good at making them for yourself. Women like men who are willing to ask for directions. 😉

3. Stay out of quicksand. We all have topics we’d like to avoid in a first date conversation. All of us. Instead of completely deflecting them and sounding evasive or sharing too much and allowing the date conversation to take a difficult turn, develop a quick sound bite to address the topic and move on. For example, if you have a difficult custody situation with your ex-wife, simply say, “I actually spend as much time as I can with my kids currently, and we’re still negotiating what makes the most sense for everyone. I’m optimistic this will have a happy ending.” This is a clean and concise way to convey factual, relevant details that is also positive and encouraging. Don’t air your dirty laundry on a first date; you have nothing to gain by doing so.
Happy couple in the city

For the women…

1. Be responsive. This one is really, really important. If your date calls you, respond to him quickly if you don’t get his initial phone call. And don’t start counting or matching days between calls in some sort of quid pro quo. You both want to go on a date, so make that happen. I repeat, you both want to go on a date, so make that happen. And make it happen sooner rather than later. A lot of great matches stall out because people get stubborn about returning calls instead of getting serious about establishing communication. I am continually amazed at the lack of responsiveness amongst many people I see out there dating in the wild.

2. Change for the better. Even if you’re in the sort of job where your work wear transitions well to dates, make a wardrobe shift to remind yourself that this isn’t work and it isn’t an interview and you don’t do this every day. Frankly, it’s highly unlikely that your day looks are also great date looks, so don’t be afraid to slip into a colorful dress, throw on a great pair of heels, and let your hair down. If not now, when?

3. Be direct. If you’re out of practice with dating, you might have a tendency to make conditional statements about future dates like “I’d like to do this again if you would….” Don’t do that. Just be clear about it and say “I’d love to see you again. This has been a lot of fun.” The confidence will be incredibly attractive, and will make it easy for your date to ask you out again.

We have countless tips to share so if you’re someone who’s interested in hiring a date coach, inquire within amy@linxdating.com. As for matchmaking, we currently have so many successfully paired couples! In December alone, we celebrated engagements and learned about new Linx matches reaching exclusive status. Contact Amy today to learn more about our unique offline matchmaking services and how Linx can bring you multiple steps closer to finding “the one.” Our clients hire us and engage our service due to our gaining access to a pool of candidates they wouldn’t have access to otherwise. On top of this, our scrupulous vetting process allows Linx to reach new standards of excellence in the business.

Are You… Available?

It goes without saying that everyone who choses to meet with the Linx team has expressed interest in finding a relationship, but that doesn’t mean everyone is actually prepared to be in one.  In fact, figuring out whether or not someone is ready for a relationship can be quite complicated.  And it’s interesting to see the ways in which we all get stuck in places and patterns that keep us from moving forward with our lives.

We often talk about helping people break free from their current dating inertia; for some clients, that involves helping them learn how to date for the very first time; for others, it involves reintroducing them to the dating world after divorce; and for an unfortunate few, it can mean helping them meet incredibly trustworthy, loyal individuals after an experience with infidelity.  These are all, obviously, very big stumbling blocks when it comes to getting into a relationship and they take a lot of work to overcome.  But smaller obstacles can be just as detrimental when it comes to letting another person into your life, and we it comes to find love, many of us are more guilty of standing in our own way than we realize.

Lately, Amy and I have seen a pattern of more and more first(!) dates not even happening because of poor communication and scheduling conflicts.  This is incredibly disheartening for us because we put so much work into each match behind the scenes.  But beyond that, it’s a huge missed opportunity for everyone involved.  And it’s often the result of unreasonable expectations, inflexibility, or not being honest about the amount of time you have to pursue a relationship.

It’s sometimes the case that people honestly do not realize how busy and overcommitted they are until presented with the option of an introduction.  If these are temporary social or charitable engagements that will clear from your schedule in some reasonable amount of time as you get to know someone, don’t sweat it; most of us actually find it attractive when some has a full and active life, and even look forward to eventually being part of it.  Be upfront about your commitments – give your date a roadmap to let him or her know how quickly those obligations might clear, and dating should pretty easily fall into place from there.

If, on the other hand, you find that you really can’t plan to get together because you constantly work late, are always traveling, are on call, or don’t know your schedule, this may not be the time for you to be dating.  And you should admit that.  If work is controlling your life, don’t expect a potential date to let it control his or her life, too.  This may not be your fault, but it’s also not fair to the person attempting to date you.  Let them go for now.  With some luck, he or she will circle back when timing is better on both sides.  But if you press forward when you really don’t have the availability to build a relationship, you’ll just end up engendering hard feelings and frustration.  No one wants that.

If, however, you can’t seem to find the time to meet because you’ll only have a first date on weekends (but don’t have any free time for the next three of them), can’t go out on Thursdays (because you have your fav yoga class on Friday mornings), don’t like Monday dates (because you’re too tired after work), refuse to have a weekend breakfast date because they aren’t romantic (even though you’ll only meet on weekends and don’t have any free weekend evening for the next month) then you may be standing in your own way.  And that is your fault.
sad-female-face

It is really, really important to be open and honest about what you need when you start dating someone.  But it is equally important to not be totally rigid and difficult when it comes to the things you want.  You need to be home by 10pm if it’s a weeknight?  Fine.  You need to meet in the city or in Silicon Valley because you don’t have a car or don’t have a ton or time?  Perfectly understandable.  You only want Saturday night first dates scheduled six weeks in advance with regular phone calls and texts beforehand, and you expect your date to be patient, excited, and agreeable because this is what works best for your social/exercise/shopping/travel calendar?  Absolutely not.  When you’re that limiting and specific with your date, you’re not just telling him or her that you’re busy – you’re telling your date that you expect to dictate all of the terms of your relationship, and no one wants to be on the receiving end of that message.  Ever.

Being flexible isn’t just about dating someone who doesn’t look like the actor you fantasize about or the crush you had in college; it’s about stepping out of the box of your life and realizing that your future is going to look exactly like your present unless you start to make different choices.  Amy hates asking the question “Are you single?” because it’s both too vague and too specific at the same time.  She always prefers to ask people “Are you available?” because it’s important to know if they’re unattached, interested in finding commitment, and willing to do the work it takes to get there.  It’s like asking “Are you single? Are you looking for love?” and “Are you willing to invest in another person in order to find it?” all at the same time.  It’s important to be flexible in a lot of ways when you start dating someone, and that includes being flexible with your time, your attitude, your tastes, and your expectations.  In fact, flexibility is the difference between being single and being available — it’s a measure of how open you are to being surprised, and how willing you are to take a chance on trying to make something work.  It also happens to be attractive. 😉

So what about you?  Are you flexible or are you rigid?  Are you open or are you closed?  Are you just single and expecting a stranger to walk into your life, compliantly play by your rules, and make sure that you live happily ever after?  Or are you available – ready, willing, and able to meet someone else in the middle, prepared to no longer be the obstacle that stands in the way of your own success, and open to finding out what it’s like to let someone else co-star in your personal pursuit of happiness?  The question is yours to answer, but don’t forget that it’s an answer you’re constantly sharing with the world.

“Do You Have Anyone… Younger?”

We hear this question perhaps more often than any other — at least once a day, sometimes once an hour, and never, ever, in jest. We hear it from men and women young and old, from divorcees and widows, from single mothers, lonely dads, and those hoping to find a Happily Ever After that keeps them from becoming one of the above. We hear it… all the time.iStock_000019428153Small

There are a lot of reasons someone might want a younger spouse; beyond the superficial, men tend to point out the desire for fertility in women (funny we’ve never heard that one before guys!), and women tend to point that men don’t live as long as they do, so each gender can certainly make a valid point. But most of the time that we get asked for an introduction to someone younger, age actually has very little to do with it. Most of the time, people aren’t looking for someone young. They’re looking for someone youthful, and they’re hoping to go on a date with a man or woman who is willing to exhibit real, unbridled enthusiasm; they’re looking for a date who is excited about meeting them.

For those of us who’ve been dating for longer than we’d like, or who’ve cycled through the same three first date restaurants far too many times, we can start to think that every first date will be just like those that didn’t work before. We already know where we want to sit, what we’ll likely order, and how bad or good a particular waiter might be. We can fall into a familiar routine far too easily, and treat our dates like they’re part of a longstanding pattern that he or she did nothing at all to establish. In fact, it’s OUR responsibility to try to break that pattern; after all the only common link in all of those failed first dates is… us.

Try to remember that it’s not your date’s fault that you already go to Left Bank with your friends every Thursday night. Don’t talk to the guy across the table from you about all of your ex’s past sins. And please, please, don’t tell the woman you’re trying to court all about how you “destroyed your ex-wife in the courtroom.” Young people think a lot about the future; older people think a lot about the past. Which one do you find more attractive? And which one do you think you want to be? Age may dictate lots of things about your body, but it doesn’t have to play any role at all in your attitude; you may not always be young, but you can always be youthful.

We do our best to rise to the challenge when our clients ask to meet someone younger, but more often than not, we know that an age gap isn’t really the solution. Our clients quickly realize it too, but instead of understanding that the difference in age is too big, they usually decide that it simply isn’t big enough. When we’re really, really lucky, they finally admit that they might be better off taking our advice about the men or women they should date. And in the very best cases — when we’ve met people who are optimistic, full of life, and looking toward the future — we’re able to say to our clients “We happen to know an incredibly warm and youthful person you should meet… and the two of you happen to be about the same age.”

LA Story

Blog written by: Linx staff member, Michael Normanimg_palmTree_540x360

Lately, more and more of our clients seem to be based in L.A.; Amy and I have been there twice in just the past month to work with two different male VIPs, and we expect to go again in the next few weeks to meet yet another man in the Southland. We also expect to be recruiting in L.A. later this summer on behalf of some of our bachelors, so be sure to let your SoCal friends know that even if they can’t easily come to Linx, Linx might be coming to them.

Amy and I are really fond of all of our bachelors, and the gentleman we met this week was no exception. Amy has taken great care to build a database and membership that is full of “good guys” and this tall, athletic, 49-year-old father of three certainly fits the bill. His easy-going charm and mellow manner change entirely when he excitedly talks about his kids, and his laid back attitude is even more of a surprise when people find out how successful he is.

We would love to find a wonderful woman for our great guy, and are currently looking for Caucasian/European/Mixed women 35-48 (he is 49, Caucasian, lean, 6’4” and has a weakness for women with sexy curves and long hair) who are playful, athletic, mature, and seeking a real romantic connection with someone stable, supportive, and spiritual. Our bachelor is currently splitting time between L.A. and Sun Valley, but he is definitely open to a Bay Area match who would like to add some fun and romance to her routine.

This guy is anything but superficial, but we know he deserves a feminine woman who takes great care of herself, and understands that a real and lasting relationship only happens when two people are willing to take care of each other as well. If you want to connect with this man, it helps to have a love for the outdoors (a fellow skier would be a great bonus- he’s been skiing his whole life), an open heart and warm spirit, and a zest for living. Please contact Amy amy@linxdating.com if you think you fit the bill. This blue-eyed bachelor has put a lot of work into crafting the story of his life, but the happy ending that he deserves is still waiting to be written!

Sexiest Silicon Valley Bachelors | Who Tops Your List?

Female readership of the Linx Line….I am taking a poll on your thoughts and suggestions for THE
most eligible Bay Area & Silicon Valley bachelors. article-0-19AB1214000005DC-189_634x764

If you could have a date tonight with one of these hunks…who is on your list? What well-known technology mogul, entrepreneur, or investor-type makes you swoon?

Email me: amy@linxdating.com who is high on your list of steamy, dreamy, desirable men. I’m not publishing anything…so don’t worry about your name being associated with this anywhere.

Date Coaching | The Linx Method to Personal Success

We get inquiries all the time about date coaching from men and women of all ages. This week I coached a early 20-something female who needed a confidence boost around early stage dating. I talked to her about her concerns, gave her insights into the minds of men, and helped shift her perspective from leading with fear (and assuming the worst outcome will happen on her dates!) to feeling much more positive and remembering that dating should be fun! One major point I reinforced with her was to “get out” of her head. Don’t over think things and worry what he is thinking. Also, since she is more introverted I explained that the first date will be inevitably exhausting as she is going to have to give it an extra push to express herself on the date and be perceived by him as someone who is interesting and passionate. Chances are she will get home and feel tired- having given a 150% effort energy wise.Mature Couple at Park

Many older men and women write to Linx asking about help with their online profiles and general assistance with conversation starters and keeping the connection going. We’ve helped countless individuals this way and in fact, are gearing up for a busy next week date coaching a 70-something female and a 30-something guy. She’s a widow who was married for nearly 5 decades and he’s a divorcee who lacks confidence around women. It’s so easy to “assume doom and gloom” when you’ve experienced major loss and heartache in the past. It is especially a different ballgame for the baby boomer generation who dated at 19 and 20 years old, got married, and then are single again 40-plus years later. Modern dating couldn’t be more different for these folks and often, it is described as not for the faint of heart.

Dating is a very mental game and preparation is key. Like you’d outsource a fitness trainer to stay in shape, or an accountant to get your ready for tax season, date coaching can be extremely useful for your personal life. We offer our coaching in the privacy of our offices and welcome friends of Linx and clients with open arms. Our approach is warm, inviting, comfortable, non-judgmental, and often very invigorating. All coaching is customized to exactly the needs of you. Sessions are typically two hours and trust us- the time flies. It is not uncommon for clients to hire us again down the road for a reboot and refresh.

This Week in Perspective

It’s been extremely busy at Linx HQ. I am still blown away that January is officially over. Have you noticed how some people still have Christmas trees in their windows and lights still decorating their homes? Did they not get the memo that the holidays are over? Hilarious. There is a home in my neighborhood that is still all lit up at night…right out of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

This past week was filled with tons of client meetings over breakfast at the Rosewood Sand Hill Hotel, coffee in SOMA, and in the privacy of our historic offices. We admitted new members this week…a quick snapshot includes a handsome 32-year old 6’0″ guy who is passionate about surfing in his free time, a witty 33-year old male with a devilish smile and wildly impressive career (who has been a vegetarian his whole life), and a 50-something real estate professional who loves travel, his kids, and Bay Area living. We also had a lovely visit with a young mid 20’s MD female member who was so sweet to bring us the most decadent homemade cupcakes (flourless chocolate w sea salt and carmel and a coconut tropical unbelievably fabulous concoction!) As you can see we hated them. 😉 vscocam1571

We spent a few hours conducting an in-home closet consultation for a vibrant, mature, and gorgeous 24-year old female. She hired us to edit her wardrobe, help her create looks (looks for work, work into dates, weekend wear, dressy styles etc). The great thing is that our client already has such an impressive wardrobe and everything she pretty much needs…it was just a matter of figuring out what works with what and helping her streamline things. Also her request and wish was to get her wearing color…not so much black all the time.

In working with our client, we also removed items that she has had since high school (yes high school..including her old prom dress…ok ok, she is only 24 years young!) and will be donating four huge garbage bags to Goodwill as a result. We put tons of looks together she already had in her closet (black 7 skinny jeans, silk Joie tank, paired with a tight Vince leather jacket zipped up accentuating her TINY waist and model physique, punchy colorful pashmina, black patent leather Louboutin pumps, and a great tote to top off her modern and very versatile look (so easy to transition from day to night). She was so impressed by our hard work, she’s hired us to come back this coming week for more wardrobe work.Christian-Louboutin-Pigalle The famous, highly coveted red CL soles…

My assistant (who is a very skilled photographer among many of her talents) has been snapping pics of our client in her various ensembles and will be creating a beautiful look book to keep in her boudoir for when getting ready. VINCE-WO127_V1 Vince leather jacket on a model

It’s been busy with creative projects as well….speaking to lots of media folks from all around the globe…including entertaining folks up from LA and showing them the Silicon Valley life. Beyond this, lots of matchmaking and presenting clients with our match ideas. This week alone we’ve done a ton of really good matches and are excited to hear how those first dates go. I’ve learned so much from my clients this past month- fascinating trends we are seeing in Silicon Valley and lots of interesting stories.

Here’s to an exciting February ahead for everyone. Stay focused on your New Years resolutions and don’t start slipping now. I have just completed my annual health “cleanse” I do every Jan for 31 days (major cardio, super green diet, no diary, no bad carbs, no alcohol) and I feel GREAT. Even though I am looking forward to a glass of wine (or two!) tonight with friends in San Francisco, I am making sure to set strict rules for myself to stay focused and very disciplined as I enter February. Healthy living is a LIFESTYLE and in order to be at my best in my life, I know I have to do certain things (sufficient sleep, lot of good clean eating, restricting my so called vices (e.g, drinking ,sugar, cheese) working out with my trainer multiple times a week, and taking time off from the daily grind to reset).

If you want more information about my cleanse ping me. This is my 7th year doing it…and I’m hooked! I’m not the only one either- when I interviewed a young CEO on Thursday, he is doing a 90 day cleanse. He said he sleeps better, has total mental clarity, is happier, and much more balanced.

Fun and funky old school workout song for you to load onto the trusty ipod.

Women in Linx | Types of Women We Represent

I am often asked from men what type of women we represent at Linx and when we recruit for these guys (as a VIP client) what the structure of the so called castings are.

A very first step in our admission process is the vetting. I would want to make sure that a prospect of Linx adheres to the standards that Linx represents. Our clients are: well educated (75% have post graduate work completed from top universities), they are all professionals across a very wide range of industries, extremely well-rounded in their hobbies outside of career, dynamic, physically active (keeping healthy, fit, and balanced), and most importantly are commitment and marriage minded. These women are all ages (a huge populations in their 20’s and 30’s, followed by 40-60’s generally). girl5

Just like Stanford, Harvard, or CAL rejects even the most brainy and accomplished applicants, we do have to filter out people who simply are not a good fit for this network.

Those who are not “good fits” could be based on them not being comfortable with the concept of a commitment, not liking the protocol, not leading a healthy lifestyle, or me sensing that she is not ready for true love. Sometimes candidates possess an extreme anxiety about wanting to meet “the one.” If we sense that their energy is too intense and their expectations totally unreasonable (about what they seek in a match and general timeline of getting matched, engaged, and married), we simply won’t work with them. If we did work with that person, she would be supremely unhappy and our magic would be dampened by stress and stifled by pressure.

It should be noted that we are one of the only matchmaking firms that represents females as clients. We have a huge demand for our services with attractive and brainy women. In Silicon Valley and metropolitan regions such as San Francisco, New York City, and Los Angeles, there is no shortage of extremely accomplished professional women who are looking for love and needing help in their personal lives.

Many women also submit their information everyday to meet our VIP clients. We do regular screenings for these hundreds of women who want us to screen them to see if they have that je ne sais quoi that many of our successful VIP gentleman look for in their dream girl.

The structure of the castings is what we call “Mini Meet and Greets.” These are individual appointments that a female who has qualified for the in-person session makes with our team. We do a short in-person screening with her getting to know the candidate and seeing if she is not only adhering to the overarching standards that Linx represents (per the above) but also is importantly very OPEN-MINDED and flexible with her ideal match criteria since she would simply be in the database where matches/introductions occur opportunistically and flexibility is key in order for her to be matched. 09-09-testimonial

The women who submit their info to meet the VIPs can differ from those who are premium clients with respect to career. Some are not “as” successful, “hard charging”, and “Type A” as many of our premium female clients. Our premium female clients (just like the guys) want the exact same success they have achieved professionally yet now in their personal lives. The women who submit info to meet VIPs who qualify are not always MDs, corporate attorneys, and C-level execs. They might very well be teachers, nurses, in PR/marketing, assistants, and a wide range of other careers. That said, there are definitely less ambitious females who are premium clients and alpha females opting for a passive way to participate as well. In conclusion, the Linx network is extremely diverse with respect to every metric involved.