Who, What, When… Huh?

With Drinks on the Linx just around the corner, we’ve been getting a lot of inquiries about different aspects of the Linx process and experience. Amy and I thought it would be a good idea to share answers to some of those frequently asked questions, just in case some of you have been curious about the same issues. If you don’t see the answer you’re looking for below, feel free to contact us with any additional concerns and questions. We’re here to help!

What are the differences between being a Premium client, a VIP, and a Match Applicant?

A Premium client is someone who has hired us to find their ideal match. This person (of either gender) has signed up for a Silver, Platinum, or VIP membership, and is guaranteed an agreed upon number of introductions during the duration of their contract. For Silver and Platinum clients, these introductions involve people already within the (substantial) Linx database.

VIP clients, however, are a bit different; VIP clients are Premium clients who often have extremely specific criteria (these can be educational, ethnic, cultural, geographic, life-style focused, or any combination thereof) and so VIP clients have empowered us to search outside of our existing database and network to find their ideal match. It is not uncommon for a VIP search to be conducted in the San Francico Bay Area, as well as NYC, LA and beyond. Information about active VIP searches can be found here.

A Match Applicant is someone who has paid for an initial in-person consultation with Linx, and we have determined that they are highly matchable. A Match Applicant is someone we feel is truly looking for a relationship, has realistic expectations based on their own age, experience, education, desires, etc., and has a great attitude about the Linx process.

So paying $200 and meeting with Amy makes me a Match Applicant?

Simply put, no. The fee for an in-person consultation is strictly meant to compensate us for our professional time. It does not make you a member or client of Linx, nor does it guarantee you any introductions or invitations beyond the opportunity to get to know us better. We understand that some people think this is an unreasonable fee, but Linx is, at heart, a business. If $200 seems expensive to meet privately with professional matchmakers who might then introduce you to the mate of your dreams, then we encourage you to pursue other romantic avenues such as online dating.

I met with Linx, but didn’t hear from them after the meeting. Why not?

At the end of any initial consultation, we encourage you to take a few days to reflect on our conversation, and to reach out to us if you’d like to move forward. For Match Applicant candidates who are an obvious fit for one of our current Premium clients, we do often reach out within a few days of our meeting to explore the possibility of making an introduction. But in other cases we wait to hear from you. This process is not for everyone; some interviewees decide that they are not ready to use the services of a matchmaker, while others (those often newly out of a relationship) might realize that they aren’t in the right place to meet anyone at all. If you want to hear from Linx, contact us. We’ve probably been waiting to hear from you, too.

When do I get to see pictures of the person to whom I’m being introduced?

Believe it or not, you actually don’t get pictures before meeting your match (unless you are a VIP client.) Despite the very deliberate nature of our process, we still value the element of surprise. We want your first glimpse of your match to involve the thrill of discovery rather than the comfort of recognition. We don’t want to take all of the excitement out of a first date; if anything, we want to increase it by reassuring you that you’re meeting a high quality individual who shares a lot of your goals and values. What’s not exciting about that? Plus, we find people are simply too judgmental.

Is it true that you don’t work with women in their 40s?

No, this is not true. At Linx, we work with men and women of all ages (from twentysomethings to 70+) and we get excited by each and every opportunity to help someone find love. But we also know the limitations of our database, and we understand the dynamics of the local dating economy. Despite the rise of “cougar culture” we simply don’t encounter a lot of young men looking for older women (at least not for the purposes of starting a serious relationship) and so we do politely decline working with prospects whose expectations do not align with our experience of reality; even our female VIP clients are typically willing to date men up to 10 years older than they are, and we cannot successfully match other Premium clients or Match Applicants who are not willing to do the same. It just created very unrealistic expectations and could lead to failure and disappointment.

Is it true that you reject people that apply for membership?

Simply put, yes. We have a high rejection rate as we cannot work with everyone. Sometimes we encounter someone who is simply not a good culture fit, or perhaps is not comfortable with the Linx protocol and general mission of our business. Maybe someone is leading an unhealthy lifestyle, has zero balance in his/her life, or just is not trusting of our process. Over the years, we’ve even had people ask us in the initial screening phase when asked if he/she is “commitment-minded” how we define commitment. Enough said. 😉

I’m gay/lesbian/bisexual. Is Linx suitable for me?

Unfortunately, our database is limited in a way that allows us to focus on same-sex relationships at this time. That said, we do represent a small population of VIP bisexual clients who are interested in matches from both men and women. In the meantime, please do contact us if you’re interested (increased interest is what will help fuel opportunities to build an extended network for gay and lesbian clients) and be sure to attend our networking events, like Drinks on the Linx if you enjoy networking.

I’ve read a lot about Linx networking events. Is one of those coming up soon?

Yes, in fact, there is a Link & Drink event just around the corner! Join us at the Stanford Golf Course on the evening of July 17th for a warm summer night of Drinks on the Linx! Tickets are selling quickly, and we will not be able to sell tickets at the door, so buy yours here. Attendance will be capped at 400, and having fun is mandatory, so we hope to see you there!

Remember that our events are NOT limited to clients. So invite your friends, the more the merrier!

Whirlwind week!

Monday and Tuesday of this week consisted of over 20 interviews of women who had submitted their info to meet our VIPs. These screenings give me a good read on any “standouts” who might make an exceptional match for any client of ours who has given me the authority to search everywhere for his match. Each week I get hundreds of submissions from women who are single, searching, and want to apply to meet a VIP. We hold regular castings to interview the ones we feel might have that “it” factor.

This week we met such impressive, candid, intelligent, and really “have their sh*t together” sort of women. Unfortunately we can’t represent everyone we meet but are currently in the process of selecting a few gems who are excellent matches for our current clients. The other lovely women, who graciously took time from their busy lives to meet Aimi and I, who are not a match for someone at this exact moment will remain in the Linx database. We encourage everyone who is not a match right now to check back in a couple of months. This is about “inventory” – supply and demand.

Today I’ve received a ton of “thank you” emails from the various candidates we met.  They really made me feel good about what we accomplished and I would like to share some of the excerpts here:

You guys have great energy and I giggled all the way home:)

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share and converse with you.

It was truly a pleasure! You ladies are very classy and truly know your stuff!

Sometimes dating can be difficult, stressful, and even depressing…I really appreciate your insight and perspective, thanks for sharing some of your tips.

Today I did a photo shoot with celebrity photographer Justin Coit who shot my Vanity Fair photo shoot back in August 2012. Justin is extremely talented and mostly does celebs in LA (including a lot of work with Rachel Zoe)…so getting him (with his assistant of choice named Pepe) to fly up to the Silicon Valley for the day is beyond lucky.  Check out Justin’s blog entry about the Linx shoot for Vanity Fair…http://justincoit.com/vanity-fair

The story is for a European magazine called MYSELF which is a Condé Nast publication. A journalist named Anne Philippi who is a former writer for Rolling Stone and GQ flew up from LA a few weeks ago to spend after afternoon at Linx getting to know me and the unique cottage industry of matchmaking in Silicon Valley.

From the shoot today…this is my hubbie’s shot he got quickly in between Justin’s. Peplum dress Ted Baker and semi precious necklace from Bella Rosa in Los Gatos. Pepe next to me with light diffuser. Priceless.

My morning started bright and early with hair and makeup at my house.  Today, my hair stylist, Jaye, added temporary extensions for the shoot which was fun….extra hair is heavy to “carry around” on your head all day!  Makeup was in a similar elegant style to VF thanks to Bianca. I headed to downtown Palo Alto to Cafe Epi (had never been) on University where I did a quick change of clothes (according to what Justin suggested I wear for the first look) and followed his guidance. Thank goodness celebrity stylist, Hasti Khashfia, pulled together some great looks for me with less than 8 hours notice by me. Hasti styled me for VF and works regularly with Randi Zuckerberg.

We spent over two hours on University Avenue getting shots of me walking, fake talking on the mobile, fake typing on the computer, and sipping a nonfat cap (while drooling over the yummy colorful macaroons he bought for the shoot.) In the middle of some shots, his assistant Pepe squealed all of a sudden. He had been so quiet up until that point. I inquired what happened?! Get this…apparently some elderly man had walked by and pinched Pepe’s derriere while Pepe was holding a photography umbrella to diffuse the strong outdoor light! Who honestly knew SUCH scandalous behavior happened in the broad daylight in Palo Alto, on University Avenue, outside a cafe…from a man in his late 70’s no less! Wowza! I guess Pepe was flattered? 😉

Afterwards we followed my husband around town in our separate cars trying to locate some great views of the Silicon Valley for a second round of afternoon shots and we decided the Stanford Dish would be best. We all took an hour break and then reconvened there.  Pepe met me at the base of the Dish and literally was my sherpa, carrying a garment bag and tote up the massive hill to the second location that Justin had found. What a gentleman! Picture me schlepping up the vertical climb in sneaks with my extensions and outfit on and Pepe hunched over with my crap.

Breathless, we arrived at the top of the peak and the guys found the optimal light and angle for a new series of gorgeous photos. It’s a little challenging, let me tell you, having to do a clothing change in broad daylight with strangers trekking up the dish with googly eyes wondering “what” is going on. I owned it and just rolled with it not caring if a teenage boy with his mom saw my exposed bra or awkward facial expression of a hee hee hee yeah this is me in nature changing into a dress here right now so turn your head thanks. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gots to do…right?!

Justin is such a great photographer and director because he makes the experience painless and guides you. It is effortless and becomes much easier to get through because of his skill, direction, eagle eye, creativity, humor, and professionalism. One of Justin’s pictures unreleased till now from the VF shoot in August. Look at my stunning girlfriend Renee in black and the legs on the gorgeous guest next to her!Another Justin Coit pic from the VF party. My husband looks too cute! And my pic Justin took from the VF shoot in August….love the richness of all the colors. Dress is Ted Baker styled by Hasti Kashfia

Tomorrow we have more footage we need to get for another media piece with ABC News 7. I have arranged for my client George to have a coffee date in the morning with a lovely Danish woman who has graciously agreed to participate in this piece. After that wraps, I need to catch up on emails big time….being away from the office doing media projects makes the emails pile up on one another.  Friday I have a new VIP coming on board, which is fantastic. If the weather permits, I think we’ll do our meeting over lunch al fresco.

My days are literally never alike and there are always a wide range of emotions as well. From one couple that is elated at meeting one another reporting back with rave reviews for feedback, to not so great news like breakups. I really feel my clients’ pain when they go through hard times and sometimes end their Linx relationships. I think breakups are definitely one of “the” most difficult aspects of my job that I never look forward to – especially as I am always rooting on the sidelines as their biggest fans when they are coupled up.  It’s kind of like I am breaking up with them if that makes sense. We’ve so invested in this process together.

Now I can’t wait to kick my feet up for the night and just spend time with my husband and son (pup) whom I feel like I’ve been neglecting this week. We call it parachuting in and out of the home life. This week I’ve been so tethered to work that I have been parachuted out of my family time for a lot of it but luckily for me have parachuted back in…at least for tonight to catch up on those nearest and dearest to my heart.

Follow me on Twitter @linxdating

Valentine’s Date Scenario III: His House for Dinner

If you’ve been following our Valentine’s Day Style Guide series, then you know how much fun we’ve been having challenging our friends over at Tog + Porter to come up with outfits for different Valentine’s Day date scenarios. We’ve done classic romance with my ‘Over the Moon for You,’ date. Then we did something a little more out of the box for a newly dating couple called ‘Adventurous and Quirky’. Now it’s on to the third and last date, ‘An Invitation to His House for Dinner’. What makes this date especially interesting is the couple’s dating history. The gals over at Tog + Porter actually have a name for this date; they call it the “Determining The Relationship” or “DTR” date.

Here’s the details I gave them about the couple and how the night would unfold:

This couple has had 5 dates and always very fun and “PG.” He’s been the consummate gentleman but after consulting with his buddies felt he needed to see if that serious romantic *spark* was there. He’s into her but they definitely haven’t had an exclusive chat yet. She feels like he is a total diamond in the rough and she is seriously liking him.

He sends her an email to come over to his home for a Valentine’s dinner. She’s never been to his house and a homemade dinner sort of makes her sweat. It feels really “real” and “serious.” The dates so far have been easy going and fun. Lots of laughter, affection, and chivalry. She feels butterflies thinking about this date because she knows it could lead to something more serious.

She emails him back and accepts the sweet invite asking if she can bring anything. He says, “Nothing…only you.”

The day of, she heads to her liquor shop and gets an incredible cognac to share. She also brings him an Hermes tie with little puppies on it wrapped up beautifully. He just got a rescue pup, so she thought this would be a cute way to acknowledge this and thank him for a lovely evening.

He’s gone far to impress her. Rose petals on the floor in the entryway, champers to start with, steaks and veggies he grilled, and chocolate chip cookies they baked together.

She stays the night and wakes up in the morning to piping hot coffee and the smell of his cologne lingering on her. She’s doesn’t want to leave.

Now for the big question: What to Wear? Here’s what I told T+P stylist Maureen about the couple’s style:

He’s more of a buttoned up type (successful career in finance) and opts for the preppy look on the weekends. Being from the East Coast, she is definitely more Kate Middleton than “The Olsen Twins” in her style and she’s pretty conservative in general.

As she thinks about this date, the more she realizes she doesn’t want to be stuffy. Instead, she wants to look sexy but not trying too hard. In other words, it is about bumping up her sex appeal a few notches.

Maureen knew exactly where to take it from here. “She needs to show him she’s into him, serious and ready to move forward,” she said. “She wants to look and feel sexy and her look should be suggestive, but not too inviting. She should also bring an element of comfort to her chic so she looks relaxed in his home.” While my client might be resistant to this outfit at first, the ladies at T+P say they’d encourage her to push the envelope a little and give something new a try. I agree it’s the furthest thing from stuffy and she’ll undoubtedly knock his socks off once the jacket comes off.

“She should feel her absolute best and allow her outfit to emulate her mood and draw even more attention from him than she’s already garnered,” said Maureen. I couldn’t agree more and I think this is a mission accomplished! This second outfit is feminine and flirty (both good), but just the right amount of edge thrown in to keep it interesting. 

Maureen also added a slightly less inconspicuous overnight satchel bag.

Have an important date coming up? Let the stylists at Tog + Porter help you accomplish your style goals and put your best foot forward. If you still need help with your Valentine’s Day outfit, be sure and sign up for a style consult ASAP, time is running out.

A Glamourous Evening in the Silicon Valley

On Thursday evening, Linx hosted a very special event at the Rosewood Sandhill Hotel as part of a story I have been involved with for Vanity Fair magazine. The piece is on the Silicon Valley social scene.

Our featured song for this entry is Gus Gus VIP (Masters At Work Vocal mix) Our day began bright and early at Linx’s headquarters in Menlo Park preparing for my portrait photo for the piece. There is tons of prep that goes into this: hair, make-up, nails,wardrobe styling, fitness training, facials for clear skin, juicing week of, and oh goodness much more.

After my hair and make-up were done (they came to my office to do this), three guys walked into my office with countless camera equipment, lighting, etc. It was a pleasure getting to work with celebrity photographer, Justin Coit, who flew in from LA for our shoot. He has worked with Nicole Richie and Rachel Zoe. 

The tech crew and Justin ended up shooting various portraits of me for 4 plus hours at my office. Let’s just say I have a new found respect for models. It is very hard work smiling, trying to maneuver your body for the right shot, and yes sucking it all in! 

At around 5:00pm, we all rushed over to the hotel to quickly regroup and get set up (and me ready) for the party and a different look for the story. We had a gorgeous private villa on the property for the event where our florist had delivered gorgeous bouquets and the butler staff was ready for guests to arrive. My hair and make-up were waiting to quickly do a new hair look and evening make-up.  Attendees included a wonderful group of dear friends and clients looking absolutely stunning! I had requested everyone were cocktail attire and that they did! 4o guests arrived on time- everyone mingling, sipping on wine & champagne and just having a grand time.  Guests were told ahead that Justin would be shooting the event. A couple of friends I invited were not ok knowing they might grace a page in VF and most were thrilled and ready for the opportunity. Justin wanted everyone do to their own thing and just be themselves. No posing for this party. The bold floral arrangements, gorgeous contemporary furniture and art work, artisinal cheeses, bubbly popping right and left, and lots of flirting and conversation provided Justin creative shot after creative shot. At around 8:00pm, we left the villa for upstairs to continue the conversation and laughter. Some left with new contact in their pockets, other stumbled towards the nearest cab, a few stuck around till the wee hours, and Justin and his crew left for cajun food in Palo Alto.  We’re not entirely sure when the piece will come out, so stay tuned and perhaps see some of your friends in one of the fall/winter issues of VF.  Below is the awesome photography crew (Santiago, Justin, and Nick).