atherton singles

San Francisco Dating | Just Be You…Relaxed & Simple

We all know that San Francisco dating can be tough to say the least! Ladies maybe you can relate….from the guy who shows you his TED talk on the first date and the other aspiring entrepreneur who whips out an NDA before your appetizers even arrive… to the man who appears 30 minutes late and explains that his time is worth more than yours and the other who tells you over cocktails that he doesn’t believe in second dates, but offers you a job at his start-up!

Some could argue San Francisco is the toughest city to find a good commitment-minded guy in. Dating is a skill for both men and women and it does take practice. Some young professionals are simply out of practice, while some have practiced a little too much (players!) and some are late bloomers to the dating game.

I recently came across this great video from a friend of mine who portrays a nerdy teen turned fashion magazine queen who has everything she wants except the right guy. Enjoy!

Advice for Men & Women this Valentine’s

RedRoseWith Valentine’s on Saturday and pressure surrounding this “Hallmark holiday” remember to be good to yourself. My advice for you to alleviate feeling blue if you don’t have that someone special is to find time to relax and pamper yourself a bit. Why worry and fuss over not having someone perfect when you can step back from it all and focus on being good to yourself?!

For the ladies, if you have the time and extra resources, go book a massage, facial, pedicure, or get your hair cut or colored. Uplift your spirits by stopping in Sephora to get your make-up done for free and splurge on a few sparkly lip glosses and luxe lotion. Meet a friend afterwards and share a great bottle of wine and dinner together or go people watch at a trendy bar while donning your best heels and handbag. You’ll feel good about yourself, get out of the house, and not find yourself trolling your online dating sites or swiping through the vast array of dating apps.

For the guys, focus on something you really enjoy and maybe don’t get to do that often. This could mean playing a round of golf, calling up a buddy and grabbing beers while indulging in some sports, running, or getting a massage as well- hell maybe a spa pedicure too!

Valentine’s doesn’t have to mean a day for just two people to embrace one another and say “I Love You.” It can mean loving yourself and remembering that with all of the craziness life throws us, at the end of the day, you need to love yourself first. So hit sleep on your computer, call a friend, makes plans, or book those reservations for some “you” time. Oh and don’t forget that loving yourself this Valentine’s can certainly mean seeing the much anticipated Fifty Shades of Grey… 😉 Uh oh!

XOXO,

Silicon Valley’s Cupid

eComm 101

Written by: Linx staff Michael Normangay-feature

The past week has involved a lot of conversations about how people communicate while dating, and nearly all of those conversations have been about some form of frustration with hearing – and not hearing – from a date. Amy and I have heard complaints about frequency (both too much and too little) concerns about content (both too formal and too familiar) and timing (as in “Isn’t this a little too soon?” and also “Who sends a text at that hour?”) A good friend of mine insists that if you’re seeing someone who’s really into you, there’s no wrong way or bad time to contact a love interest, but given my own recent frustrations with a Poor Communicator, I’d have to disagree. Since the object of my affection is currently bedridden on the East coast in a fin de siècle-style typhoon of influenza, salmonella, and some other viral/bacterial pestilence that is likely the result of too much time spent in airplanes and not enough time spent asleep, I’m letting him off the hook for now. But for everyone else, here’s a refresher on communicating in a mobile and hyperconnected age… sometimes it’s still hard for me to believe that as a teenager, I actually had to be in my bedroom in order for someone to call me.

Control Your Text Drive….

Text is, by far, the easiest form of communication to abuse. It is also, unfortunately, one of the most dangerous. No matter how many emoticons you throw at your date, text messages are meant to be brief, and that brevity tends to make it very hard to understand any suggestion of tone or nuance contained therein. So don’t assume any particular tone or nuance was properly conveyed. Between people who hardly know each other (in other words, with someone you’re newly dating) texts should really only be used to convey facts. You should only use a text to send an address, to let someone know you’re running late, to convey a change in plans, etc. You should use a text to tell someone you’re standing outside, to tell him you’ve claimed a table at the bar, or to let her know your flight just landed. But use text messages sparingly when dating, and only use them to convey information that cannot be misunderstood. If you absolutely must use texts to say something other than “I’m wearing a blue sweater, gray plaid pants, and Prada loafers,” limit yourself to “I had a really great time last night and I can’t wait to see you again.” A text to someone new shouldn’t include words like “sometime”, “possibly” or “maybe.” Ever.
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Know Your Audience…

Some people love attention; they crave daily texts and phone calls. Some women love it when a guy showers them with text messages, and calls them “Baby” or “Sweetie” after a first date, and some men consider any contact at all between dates to be unnecessary and superfluous… and never the twain shall meet. Most of us are right in the middle, but regardless of where we stand, we all tend to assume that our dates should feel the same way that we do; after all, how could our own stance be anything but reasonable, and assuming we are attracted to reasonable people, should they not feel exactly the same way about how to communicate? It turns that’s not always the case. i-didnt-text-you-jack-daniels-did

When I look at my own relationship, for example, I know that Mr. Poor Communicator literally buries his head in work, spends more than 100 hours a week on his company, and often falls asleep on his couch in positions that are doing permanently bad things to his neck. When we see each other, he is fully focused on being with me, and does an excellent job of blocking out the rest of the world. But when we’re not together, I become a victim of that very same focus. For him, taking the time to call or even text me is just a distraction from the work he needs to finish in order for us to actually be together in person. What he doesn’t understand (because really, when do you bring something like this up?) is that I’m an only child, and my mother used to punish me with days on end of silent treatment, so when I don’t hear from someone I care about – no matter how well I might be able to grasp the underlying intellectual rationale for that silence – I eventually start to feel like I’ve done something wrong or disappointed them. Obviously, it’s important that I figure out a way to convey to him some portion of this.

If you’re in a new relationship or feel like there’s a disconnect in the communication style in your current one, this can be a really important thing to address. And it’s really critical to focus on how you feel, rather than to try to place blame or cast yourself as a victim. For example, I can explain to my guy that “When I don’t hear from someone I care about for a long period of time, I start to worry that I have offended or disappointed that person,” or I can say, “When you ignore me, you make me feel bad about myself.” One of those is likely to elicit an empathetic response and lead to a compromise that deepens the relationship, while the other could just as easily lead to a breakup. Since I don’t want a breakup, it’s really important that I focus on my feelings and my experience and that I give him the chance to be empathetic. If you would also like a compromise and a healthy change in your relationship, then you should give your companion the chance to understand your experience, too.

If you have the opposite problem of hearing from someone too frequently, you can take the approach of saying “I really like you. In the past, I had the tendency to move way too quickly in relationships, and it’s important for me to move slowly. I’m comfortable texting a couple of times a week at this point. That obviously will change as we get to know each other better.” Too often, we tell people what’s “wrong” with their behavior instead of simply expressing to them our needs, expectations, or boundaries. The truth is that there’s usually nothing “wrong” with their behavior; but that doesn’t mean it’s right for us. So have the conversation about what works best for you. Get to know your audience; I hope to be following my own advice as soon as he regains the 9 pounds he lost last week and can actually get on a plane again.

Work on Your Timing…

With travel and time zones playing such big roles in everyone’s lives, it’s really important to pay attention to where you are on the map… and to how far away your love interest happens to be. While you may be counting the days or hours until you can see him or her again, you should also really be counting the hours (on the clock) that separate you. If you leave the country, know what time it is before you text someone; there is nothing more frustrating that getting a 4am “Just saying hey from Seoul” text message, especially if your job requires that you leave your phone on overnight because someone’s life might depend on it. Be respectful of the life and career of the person you’re dating. We all know that traveling for work brings with it a tremendous amount of loneliness and boredom, but you want to be sure that you’re met by excitement – rather than frustration – when you return. An occasional mistake is bound to happen if you’re an avid texter, but if you do regular long haul travel for work, trade in your texts for emails. But if you’re somehow restricted to your phone and you still insist on texting, you can keep yourself out of trouble by sending all of those texts to… an email address.1C6005838-rosagolijan28FA413D-7FBA-FDD4-0A61-331979C22A42.blocks_desktop_medium

With so communication tools at our disposal, it can be hard to know the right tool to use in the right way with the right man or woman, so it’s important to use the oldest tools at our disposal – our mouths and ears – and actually ask about these topics in person when we have the chance. It turns out that in a wired (and increasingly wireless) world, that we’re all wired a little bit differently, so don’t assume that you and your date are automatically going to operate on the same wavelength. Dating is about getting to know someone, and that requires communicating, so you should actually be motivated to figure out the most efficient way to do it. In fact… the sooner you figure out the best way to communicate, the sooner you can start building a real relationship.

Tell me a story…

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One of the questions Amy and I often get at Linx is that of when – and how – to bring up certain sensitive long-term relationship topics with someone you’re seeing.  If you’ve met someone through Linx, it’s likely we can provide you with those answers directly.  For example, we actually know how our members feel about having (more) children, how they feel about potentially relocating from the Bay area, what their ideal timelines for marriage and parenthood could look like, etc.  But if you’ve met someone on your own, found someone online or at work, or got set up by friends, the likelihood that you can get answers to any (or even one) of those questions is actually pretty slim.

When looking for dates, some of our clients tend to really focus on the timelines they have in mind for these milestones in their own lives, and are only interested in pursuing matches whose personal forecasts align with theirs.  While I can see how that might make sense initially, it can actually work against you in the end.  You can lose a lot of time looking for a man or woman who wants to share the same schedule you do; personal schedules can actually shift quite a bit as people get into relationships, learn what is important to their significant other, and realize what it might be like to be engaged, married, or even a parent with this particular person in their lives.  We can be deeply affected – and motivated – by the hopes and desires of the people we love.  We can change.

The lives we plan for ourselves as single people are the lives that make the most sense to us given the information we have at hand, but when the guy or girl of our dreams gets replaced by the man or woman who shares our vision for the future, sometimes our plans change radically.  Just this week, I met with a 31-year-old woman who said she wasn’t sure about having children.  But as we talked more, it became clear that really, what she didn’t want to do was make plans for her future that she thought should be made with someone else.  After all, whose kids would she be having?  Where and how would they be raised?  And what would they look like?  As a single woman, she could only have half of the answers, and so she was waiting until she had more information before making a decision; her Mr. Right can come in lots of different forms, so when she meets a man with whom she has incredible chemistry and the right kind of connection, the two of them can work out the answers together.

But what if you really do want a very specific kind of future?  And you really are only looking for a man or woman who shares certain values and goals?  How do you find out if a stranger is on the same page… or at least reading from the same chapter?  How do you ask those questions without seeming crazy, presumptive, or rude?

Believe it or not, one of the worst things you can do in this situation is be direct.  Asking someone a very specific question like “Do you want to be engaged in the next year?” or “Do you see yourself having kids with me before you’re 40?” can be a really excellent way to kill an otherwise budding romance.  Amy recommends that people try to suss out someone else’s views on big picture issues in the first 4-6 dates; you definitely want to make sure there’s a shared sense of chemistry before you start talking about bigger issues, but you also want to make sure you have common goals before you make a big investment, so get clarity after you establish a connection but before you discuss exclusivity.  After all, why take yourself off the market if the potential isn’t there for this relationship to make a significant run?

It turns out the best way to find out if the man or woman you’re dating shares your goals and values is by giving examples and sharing stories.  So if you’re checking for long term compatibility, here are some easy steps to draw him or her out in conversation, and get a real feel for how they think about relationships, and what they might want their next great one to look like.

1.     Start at home.  Hopefully, your parents or siblings have healthy relationships you can discuss with your date.  Talk about the things that you find enviable and admirable in those relationships.   Be positive and focus on what you’d like to emulate in your own future and household.  Stay away from timelines in this conversation, and even avoid talking about kids.  You really just want to get a sense of whether or not the two of you understand love and commitment in a similar way.  Parental relationships give you a sense of someone’s long view of relationships, and will also give you insight into what they fear.  Pay attention to words like “boredom, frustration, isolation, monotony,” and “codependence.”  Some people really do mean it as a joke.  Some people really do not.  You can usually tell the difference.

2.     Talk about your friends and colleagues.  If you want to discuss timelines for relationships and engagements, you hopefully have a set of friends and colleagues who provide models for this.  Sometimes those models will be ideal.  And sometimes they will not, which can be just as useful.  Don’t be afraid to talk about a relationship that you find flawed or even unappealing. (We all know that couple who’s dated for more than ten years but still isn’t engaged, right?)  Your date might not agree, and that’s good for you to know early.  The great thing is that you’ll be talking about big issues, but you’ll also be talking about other people, so you can take in all of his or her thoughts and judgments, but you don’t have to take all of it personally.  Don’t be afraid to suggest alternatives you think could work.  Don’t be shy asking about why he or she might feel a certain way, and if anything could make him or her feel differently about an issue, and be sure to get your date talking about the relationships of the people in his or her life, too.

3.     Talk about the kids in your life.  These may be nieces and nephews.  These may be the kids of co-workers.  These could even be much younger siblings, in theory.  But feel free to talk about the kids in your world, and how you connect with them.  If there is a childcare model represented in that set of children that makes the most sense to you – and you want to be a parent – focus on it and see if your date gives you any thoughts or feedback on what he or she might one day want.  And ask about the kids in his or her life.  This is a really important thing to do even if you do not want children; either way, make it clear to your date that you have thought about this issue, you do have exposure and experience with kids, and you do have clarity on what role they could play in your future.  Hopefully he or she will be able to let you know what role kids might (or might not) play in theirs.

Staggered over a couple of dates, these conversations will tell you a lot about what someone else wants out of life.  Schedules change all the time in relationships, but goals and values tend to be static, so make sure that you and your match align in the ways that are truly important.  So often, we think that we can get people to change over time; the real truth is that time changes us, and it doesn’t give us a lot of choice in how that happens.

In a perfect world, we’d all find someone who’s in exactly the same life stage that we are – ready for all of the same things to come to us at the same speed.  But that could be awfully boring. 😉  We don’t really need someone ready to follow our timetable.  We don’t really need someone who’s on the same page, reading from the same script, expecting the same fairytale.   What we really need is someone who’s looking in the same direction, who’ll hold our hand through every unexpected twist and turn, and who’s determined that – in the end – we’ll both end up side by side, and in the same place. In remembering this, we are confident you will get closer and closer to finding the right match.

Crushing the Fall at Linx

October has been tremendously busy for us with clients and a lot of great happenings. We’ve been crushin’ it at Linx with a lot of great momentum and good things happenings all the way around.

Today we found out that Linx has received the Palo Alto Best Businesses Award for 2014 in the category of matchmakers.

Each year, in and around the Palo Alto area, the Palo Alto Best Businesses Award Program chooses only the best local businesses. They focus on companies that have demonstrated their ability to use various marketing methods to grow their business in spite of difficult economic times. The companies chosen exemplify the best of small business; often leading through customer service and community involvement. For most companies, this recognition is a result of dedication and efforts as well as the work of others in the organization that have helped build the business. The Linx team is excited to now a part of an exclusive group of small businesses that have achieved this selection!

Onto other news, this week, we’ve had multiple couple announce their love for one another. We are so very pleased to announce a wedding that took place over last weekend in Manhattan and the happy couple even got featured in the New York Times wedding section!  They are currently honeymooning overseas and probably will never want to return back to reality!  He was her very first match and she was his 4th Linx match. The courtship was short…neither wanted to date for the sake of just dating. There was real purpose, intention, and determination to get engaged from both sides.

Although this newly wedded couple are on the younger side, we’ve seen quite a few 45+ year old clients find excellent connections from Linx. When it feels right, it feels like something to focus on 100%. One beautiful VIP client wrote to me today sharing “With your help, I have finally found the truest love I have ever experienced. This was the best investment I ever made…an investment into my heart.” My heart just gushes with such happiness when we successfully bring two people together that would have most likely never met otherwise.

Another client just sent in a great testimonial about his experience with Linx. He’s late 30’s in tech and shares “Linx might seem expensive at first, but the feedback alone makes it worth it.  Can you imagine how different your entire dating history would be if someone had given you honest feedback after every unsuccessful first date?  Amy puts real thought and work into making exceptional matches from an engaged and well-filtered group.  And then she explains what’s great about you to your dates before you even meet them; you’re already off to an excellent start before you’ve even said “hello!”  It’s hard to put a price tag on that kind of introduction.”

We’ll be blogging more frequently (I hope) in the next couple of weeks once we hit November. All of this joy calls for none other than a little Pavarotti singing “Nessun Dorma.” I consider him to be the best tenor in history. Such a gorgeous song and with the most spectacular voice to match.

Why I stopped playing the numbers game

By: anonymous male, San Francisco VIPI_next_to_his_description

When I first rejoined the dating scene several years ago I followed the well-worn path of many other people my age and joined a handful of online dating sites. After a few false starts, a friend explained to me that I was completely doing online dating the wrong way. She said that it was a “numbers game”, and that I should try to go on multiple first dates a week, week after week, until I find “The One.” I didn’t realize at the time that this was how many people treated online dating in the Bay Area. I said, what the heck, and gave it a shot.

At the beginning I found it to be fun. I realized I was meeting people that I would have never met before, and this gave me a huge amount of confidence that I would run into the woman of my dreams. I also made two very good friends and met one woman with whom I had a multi-year relationship. Even though it didn’t work out, I am still grateful that she was in my life.

After some time of playing the numbers game, I became frustrated and disenchanted with the entire process. I started to realize I was going out on dates where nothing progressed beyond small talk and running through lists of shared hobbies and travel destinations. Even if we both felt there was the potential for something more, follow-on dates started becoming fewer and fewer, mostly due to scheduling conflicts, and that quickly became a lack of interest.

Worse, I realized that the disappearance of my date didn’t bother me, as I knew that there would be someone else who was, well, let’s just say a “swipe right” away. While intellectually I knew that this was the same thought process my date was going through, I still felt a bit icky about the whole experience. As a family-oriented guy that has been in long term relationships for the majority of my life, I felt that this isn’t the behavior of the man that I thought I was or wanted to be.

I could not understand how, with all of the opportunities to meet someone that were available to me, that it was so incredibly hard actually to meet someone. Recently an article appeared in the New York Times that spoke to how I felt. The author reaches the conclusion that all of the online dating technologies have caused us to think in terms of the “numbers game”, and that there was an infinite number of possible partners, and we should toss each aside until we find the perfect mate. If this is our dating mentality, why should we ever bother committing to a person, as a better option could be right around the corner?

I knew the numbers game didn’t work for me, and stopped playing some time ago. I started to pick up on when I was a participant in someone else’s rapid fire dating game, and was able to understand how it felt. When you are playing the numbers game, every person you date becomes a number and not a human being.

Whenever you go out on a date, you have to remember that the person sitting across from you is a person, like yourself, with their own hopes and dreams, anxieties and fears. They have felt both joy and hurt in relationships, and are very possibly hoping that the first date they are on, with you, right now, will be their last first date ever. I can’t think of a more disrespectful action than what most serial daters do, namely walk into the date with the intention of making a judgment in the first five minutes, then hopping back onto Tinder.

The numbers game causes you to focus on quickly observed superficial qualities, such as hobbies, material possessions, and clothing, rather than what really determines the suitability of a partner. The important stuff, like ability to communicate, shared values, empathy, and capacity to provide support in stressful situations, can’t be determined from only one date.

The numbers game relies upon the idea that not only there are an infinite number of partners, but also that you have an infinite amount of time. We don’t. As a guy in my mid 30’s, I for one don’t want to be an “old dad”, and want to be in good enough physical shape that, if I get to have children, I would not only play with my kids on the floor but also be able to walk any future daughters down the aisle when I am twice my current age.

Women, well, they have much more defined biological clocks, with 35 being the medically recognized fertility cliff. While the numbers game can go on forever, our bodies can’t.

There are some things I miss about rapid fire dating. I miss finding instant chemistry. I miss learning about someone’s way of viewing the world. I don’t think it works, however, and would much rather spend time getting to know a small number of quality people than get three cocktails a week with complete strangers.

Summer’s Newest Linx VIP!

Our boyishly handsome Caucasian bachelor is a very successful, active, and intelligent man in his early 50s whose easy charm and laid-back demeanor offer a counterpoint to his professional role as a partner in a prominent local law firm where he focuses on high-profile, high-stakes litigation. At 6’0″ tall with short salt-and-pepper hair, warm brown eyes, and an easy smile, this thoughtful man possesses all of the quiet strength and chivalric charm that you’d hope to find in someone with his deep Southern roots.
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Away from the office and the courtroom, you can often find him with a camera in hand as he travels around the country, and beyond. He loves to travel, and makes a point to do it regularly, often making the most of his weekends by visiting Carmel, Tahoe, Napa, Santa Barbara, Sonoma, and plenty of other quaint and cozy spots that allow him to hike and bike through beautiful scenery, and then spend the evening at a great restaurant or resort. He’s worked very hard to get to this point in his life, and being able to share it with the right woman would feel like a much-deserved reward.

At home, he likes to cook and loves to entertain. He’s definitely a dog guy (he has two at home) and enjoys summer trips and holiday visits with his college-aged son. With the right woman he’s open to the possibility of more children (and would, of course, welcome any kids who are already part of her life) but would also be very excited by a future just for two that centered entirely around grown-up fun!

Are you a match?

Our bachelor would like to meet an athletic and beautiful Caucasian woman between the ages of 35 and 48 who is on the taller side (5’4”+) with medium to long hair (of any color) who has a satisfying career and a well established life, but is still interested in building a fantastic future with the right man. He responds best to warmth, sensuality, femininity, intelligence, stability, and enthusiasm. A sense of adventure, an active mind, and a desire for fun are absolutely necessary for connecting with this gentleman. (You must be willing to work up a sweat during the day, climbing hills or biking through Napa, but then still have the energy and grace to sit down to a great conversation and a white tablecloth meal that night.) Kids and pets of your own are certainly welcome, and you also need to be willing to enthusiastically embrace his. An appreciation for wit, sarcasm, and old movies would be a definite bonus.

Please contact Amy directly at amy@linxdating if you’re interested in meeting this exceptional gentleman. We will be screening candidates privately on his behalf at a five-star hotel on August 20th and 21st. There are absolutely no fees for this opportunity, so contact Amy today to see if you qualify.

THE Summer VIP Search…

Pretty woman smiling at camera with boyfriend holding her hand on the beach
On July 24th and 25th, Linx will be hosting a very special 2-day screening event at a luxury hotel in San Francisco for one of our favorite bachelors. We will be holding private, in-person interviews with interested candidates, where they can ask the Linx team questions about our Silicon Valley based “international man of mystery”, and we can get to know these lovely ladies in the comfort and seclusion of a luxe suite. If you or someone you know might be the girl of his dreams, please contact us immediately. We have a limited number of interview slots available, and we expect to fill them quickly!

Our 40-year-old bachelor is a successful tech entrepreneur who founded a high profile, venture-backed technology company, and truly enjoys his current role as the CEO. When not working he has an active social life, starts every day with a long run, and looks forward to finding a loving and exceptional woman whom he can truly call “his better half.” Our handsome single guy is 6’0″, with a lean athletic body, medium brown hair, warm hazel eyes, and a broad smile. He is well educated, very family-oriented, extremely ambitious, and worldly. A life with him will be full of laughter, adventure, and surprises.

His ideal match is tall, slender, well educated, and between the ages of 24 and 32. He is most attracted to Caucasian, mixed, and Asian women. He tends to be drawn to light hair and eyes, but is more moved by a woman’s natural beauty than he is by any skin, eye, or hair color. A generous, warm-hearted, and social personality is a great complement to his ambitious and driven nature. He appreciates women with strong family ties, a natural grace, and a healthy sense of work/life balance. It is important that any woman he meets has the time, energy, and desire to invest in a deep and committed relationship that could pay lifelong dividends.

If you or someone you know could be the right fit for this dreamy bachelor, please contact Amy immediately at amy@linxdating.com. There are absolutely No FEES associated with this opportunity! What are you waiting for? Contact us to find out more about this amazing man today!

Sexiest Silicon Valley Bachelors | Who Tops Your List?

Female readership of the Linx Line….I am taking a poll on your thoughts and suggestions for THE
most eligible Bay Area & Silicon Valley bachelors. article-0-19AB1214000005DC-189_634x764

If you could have a date tonight with one of these hunks…who is on your list? What well-known technology mogul, entrepreneur, or investor-type makes you swoon?

Email me: amy@linxdating.com who is high on your list of steamy, dreamy, desirable men. I’m not publishing anything…so don’t worry about your name being associated with this anywhere.

Searching for a Princess for our VIP| Are You His Match?

The question on the mind of most guys and gals as they embark on a first (blind) date is some form of “What’s he/she really like?” It’s certainly on my mind as I go to meet a woman for the first time, knowing only a few facts about her. So what am I really like?

I could tell you that I’m a pilot, a photographer and a lawyer, but that doesn’t tell you much about what I’m like. I could be a terrible pilot, an even worse photographer and a mean or incompetent lawyer. I could give you my basic demographics – 6ft, 195lbs, early 50’s, Caucasian male, no police record, born and raised a Texan. Fills in a couple blanks, I realize, but doesn’t say much about my personality. I could also provide you the usual laundry list of fun and fabulous activities in which I, like most other guys, regularly engage in the hopes of attracting attention — such as bungee jumping from a crop-duster, lion taming with a swizzle stick, or karaoke at Carnegie Hall. But as impressive as those activities are, they don’t convey much about my personality or my ability to be a good first date (let alone a good second or third date).

Perhaps if I told you what kind of princess charming I am searching for, that would tell you something about what I’m like. So, I could list all the fine and fantastic qualities I hope my princess charming will have – she is smart, sassy, self-assured, sensitive, single, sporty, spontaneous, sure-footed, sensible, and somewhere early 30’s to early 40’s. But really, what would that say about me? Nothing much except that I have laughably high expectations and a fondness for alliteration. And in any event, making such a list sounds a lot like writing out a shopping list and I don’t like shopping lists, even when I’m headed to Safeway or Costco. I guess that’s why I always forget at least one thing and have to make a second trip. But I drive a non-Prius electric car (I keep a spare just in case), so making multiple trips to the store doesn’t really contribute to global warming, except the utility company may have to pollute the environment to make the electricity for my car, so I guess I’m partly to blame for that, but I usually remember 3 or 4 new things to get on the second trip so it’s not really a wasted trip, and there’s always a need to go to Petco because my dogs consume so much food, but alas I digress. Now back to the subject at hand.

So instead of all that, let me offer for the next woman who happens to be thinking about meeting me on a first date some accurate information that might be useful to her in answering the aforementioned question. I will list a few principles which I use as a general guide on how I approach people and life, something similar to “Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handy”, only not as demented.

Perhaps this may provide some help in answering the “What’s he really like?” or “Is this the kind of guy I want to be stuck with over a two hour dinner?” question. Perhaps we already have some common ground. So here it is . . . .

1) Find the humor in any situation or person, no matter how grim or dull

2) Take your work, but not yourself, seriously

3) Be grateful for what you have, and thankful for what you do not

4) Treat everyone with sincerity and respect, but don’t take you-know-what from anybody

5) Be curious about all things, large medium and small and never stop learning something new

6) Everyone is trying to stay “one step ahead” – better to be three or four instead

7) Find compromise and pick your battles wisely, or you’ll end up fighting all your life

8) Avoid the extremes in all things, too much of anything is not a good thing (there are one or two exceptions we can discuss)

9) You learn about people by listening to them, you don’t learn when you’re talking

10) If you want the finer things in life, then work hard so you can afford them, but leave yourself plenty of time to enjoy them

And above all,

Make time to search out the great places in this Great Big World, places such as (these are photographs taken from our VIP)…grandcanyonThe Grand Canyon at sunset, a changing symphony of light and shadows and color

HaleakalaHaleakala at sunrise, from the Pacific’s Mt. Olympus, above the clouds and the entire world

MValleyMonument Valley shrouded in clouds, appearing as it did millions of years ago

ABQA hot air balloon festival, an endless colorful parade taking flight in the crisp morning air to the cheers of thousands

FlyingCloud surfing on an ethereal blanket that scarcely conceals the earth below

TurkeySunrise on the Dardanelles, floating between two continents, each rich with its own history and culture

If you have read this and you are wondering if you might qualify as a match for our VIP, email me: amy@linxdating.com. I have personally spent considerable time with our client and can attest to the fact that he is a genuinely warm, funny, quick witted, man who is truly a gentleman through and through. He’s masculine, chivalrous, successful, upbeat, and has made a nice home for himself in the Bay Area. The missing piece is the right match. Are you that girl? Email me if we’ve sparked your curiosity!