Amy Andersen CEO

Entrepreneur Lessons

I thought this week would be sort of a chill one. My assistant is in Japan right now and with her being away I dialed back the typical high volume meetings we normally have for a little less intensity on the work front. Maybe a week off? Think again. This week has been one of the busiest ones in ages and I swear I say that each week to myself as I huff and puff in the bathroom getting ready for work thinking how could it get any crazier but really this one is major.

My days seem to start drifting into one another where I tell myself I need “more hours” in the day to get stuff done. When an email and call comes in I wish I had twenty fingers to quickly respond to the deluge of emails and calls. I used to never be a morning person, in fact growing up I had a true disdain for mornings. I was *that* kid in school who loved faking a tummy ache so I could sleep a little more.  I was also that kid who loved sleeping in and then mom making me ridiculously delicious stacks of homemade pancakes smothered in butter and rich Aunt Jemima syrup dripping off and playing a little hooky.  What’s wrong with a little vacation and play day with mom? Those were the days!

Now with the demands of my job and Linx truly being on the so-called map in a huge way, my previous repulsion of morning has started to drift away as I evolve as a founder, small business owner, wife, and mother to our pup. It has actually been our dog who has helped shift my body clock to become more of a morning person. He wakes up at the crack of dawn stretching and giving us the sweetest little puppy kisses ever. It’s feeding time and game on for him!  While that is my husband’s job, I can’t help but sort of toss and turn by his affection and the fact that my two favorite guys are already wide awake. hopper.morning-sunMorning Sun by Edward Hopper

I used to do the majority of all client interviews in the later afternoon hours and evening hours. Bang three out in one night, last interview with new client ending wrapping at 10:00pm in my old office in Palo Alto. I’d do my personal notes from my assessment of the interview and then deliriously cruise home for dinner at 11:00pm most week nights. It just wasn’t healthy nor balanced in anyway. I had truthfully always believed my clients wanted evening hours since they were all busy professionals working during the day. I’ve learned in my business lessons of running my company, when it comes to matters of the heart people will do what it takes to carve out time for themselves at any hour of the day for a meeting with me. Morning. Noon. Night. It doesn’t matter.

My sacred time has now become the silence of the morning with the sun rising. The occasional car passing by, the birds starting the sing their songs, and Peninsula Cal Train’s faint horn sound in the distance. I actually now really enjoy doing morning meetings. In fact, I love wrapping my client interviews by 2:00pm so I can have time to reflect on notes and then get to emails in the afternoon. Ironically I find my mind is a ton sharper and I’m more “on” in the morning. I’m ready to go, excited for the day, and can hardly wait to get to start discussions with my first client. For an entrepreneur in Silicon Valley it is a complete rush of endorphins and a massive satisfaction of absolutely loving being a passionate and innovative entrepreneur here. 94.428_01_a02                   Coffee by Richard Diebenkorn

Last night I worked with a prospect by phone quite late as he doesn’t like computers and does everything he can to get away from them. I had sent him his Linx application and other materials to get started on weeks ago and in our call last night before today’s big meeting he admitted he was *that* kid at Stanford who waited till 12:00am to complete his homework for that day. Some things don’t change. I’ve learned that not every new client is the same on many fundamental levels. As a CEO you have to be nimble and adapt to what he or she might feel more comfortable with.

I had a very long day yesterday and luckily sweated it out some at the gym which I really needed (blog post on that coming soon) yet was not as nearly prepared as I always am for today’s meeting since my client had not sent me ANY of his materials. I acted quickly and responded to a way I knew he would appreciate. I took am hour and a half on the phone with him dancing through my database and application questions in an effortless way for him. He was more than happy to share everything on the phone and will do the same in person today but just having to fill out forms isn’t his thing. I get that. If I had been too rigid about my standard methodology and forcing him to do it my way, I would have absolutely lost him as a potential amazing client. In fact he texted me the other day saying “Are you sure you aren’t from New York?” I wrote back saying, “Why, cuz I work all the time?” He said, “No cause you are so persistant…and that is a good thing.” I smiled. As a former Wall Street financier he respects my drive and creativity too where sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get the job done.

Luckily we went through all of the important points I need in order to represent him as a client last night. Now it’s a new day and the birds are chirping. The sun is slowing rising and there seem to be more cars buzzing by on this Friday morning. Maybe families are getting out of dodge at 5:30am before everyone else for the holiday weekend. As I reflect on this blog entry I can’t help but smile. I watch as my pup is asleep in front of me and laugh as my husband is at a kickboxing class right now (talk about a maniac..blog entry for later on that one too!). My stomach is starting to rumble. I can’t help but crave those pancakes with gooey and totally artificial fantastic syrup. 865339_com_pancakePancakes by Wayne Thiebaud

The artists selected here: Hopper, Diebenkorn, and Thiebaud reflect some of my favorite contemporary artists. Interestingly they each had an influence on one another.

New to the City | Ways to Make Friends & Attract Lovers into your Life!

Dear Amy, 

I‘m 34 years old, in tech, and recently moved to San Francisco from the Mid West. I’m a pretty simple girl with honest values- think cornbread, apple pie, and balancing my checkbook every night before bed! 
 
Being new to the city and a city in general (always lived in pretty small towns), I signed up for a few different online dating sites. What I seem to keep running into is that I struggle feeling the chemistry with these guys but overall, they are really nice yet not for me. The good girl Mid West part of me hates to let them down after a date and share I’m just not feeling it. Is it OK to keep some as friends and how do I do that? 
 
A:  Welcome to the Bay Area. I am huge into telling friends and clients to always do at least 2 dates to really see if that chemistry can develop. My question to you is, are you giving each of these chaps a fair chance or writing them off too quickly. Remember that chemistry can grow in all sorts of funny ways and in order to see if there is something there, you need to go out a couple of times. If you follow my plan and do two dates and still feel nothing, by all means you can keep whomever you like as a friend. The question is, will he want to?! Rejection on whatever level is a sensitive subject and not easy for guys to handle with their ego in the way.   
A girl who is new to the city can never have enough good friends in her life, so one way to go about this is to pay him the biggest and most genuine compliment you can after your second date. Do this in person and not over email and definitely not text.
After the compliment, pose a question to him, inquiring if he is feeling the chemistry. Maybe he is and maybe he isn’t. Get a conversation going. Then go in with the “I’m not entirely sure if the romance thing is there for me 100% but being new to the Bay Area, I’d like to keep you around, even set you up with a friend at some point. What do you think about that?” 
After you do this, your plan of action to not only keep him as a new friend but instantaneously get your name on the social map in the city is to be hostess with the mostess.
 
Our featured song for this entry is Sarah Vaughan Whatever Lola Wants by Gotan Project. This is a great song to get you into the party mood and to crank up at your soiree.
After your conversation with him, immediately get to work and don’t lose any momentum. Plan a festive and intimate party with him.
Have him invite 2 professional guy friends (if you are 34, their age is max early 40’s) and those guys invite 2 professional girls (ideally under 40) and those girls invite a friend each. Have everyone collaborate over email and each person brings an appetizer and bottle of wine under $20 from around the world. 
You host the party on a Friday or Saturday night and make sure your home is sparkling clean, candles lit, fun music on, and ready for your new friends party!  In doing this, you will meet new friends, possibly meet a cute new guy who you will feel that chemistry with, and feel welcome in your new city by the Bay!
The email invitation reads something like this: 
Who: Amanda Smith and Craig Baylor
What: Drink your way around the world and meet new friends for some networking, friendships, and fun
Where: Amanda’s new city apartment on Jackson street.
When: September 22nd at 6:00pm
Why: Everyone needs a reason to have fun after a long work week and I’m new to the city!
Please bring a bottle of white or red wine under $20 and it must be from out of the US. Think Australia, New Zealand, South America,
Iceland?!  Feel free to bring an appetizer too. I will be making my favorite artichoke dip and savory cheese fondue as well.
Please bring a friend of the opposite sex too!
Parking is grim, so cab if you can or roll the dice with parking.
See you soon!
Kindly,
Amanda and Craig
If you try this, you are guaranteed an entertaining night and to get on the social grid. You will be considered by these new friends to be a sophisticated catch, who is sweet, social, friendly, and smart.
The word will buzz around and next thing you know, the boys will be calling.  This social strategy for meeting new people could be applied to even those who are in graduate school programs at Stanford University. What a great way to meet new prospects for friendships and love!
And no concerns if you have a tiny apartment. At the end of the day, your guests will be thankful for the invitation and don’t care about a small space. You can move tables, chairs, stand around, ask the guys to help move furniture if needed. No excuses! Now get party planning and report back to amy@linxdating.com.  I want an invite too! 😉

Linx Wardrobe Consult

One of our newest summer bachelors’ has come to us after spending the last several years focusing on his career, traveling and enjoying time with his buddies.

After meeting him and getting to know him – we are thrilled to welcome a kind, intelligent and charming new client to Linx.
Our featured song for this entry is Digital Underground’s Humpty Dance 
We immediately began with the basics – a little wardrobe consultation to align his personal style with his quiet and confident personality.

I had him send over his measurements and clothing preference, from there I visited Neiman Marcus over the weekend and pulled some conservative and tasteful looks for him.
This week, our bachelor arrived to NM to a rack filled with looks (casual day date to a dressier night out on the town look). Guys don’t want to have to think about clothing. Our services make it so easy for them to simply show up and *magic* the work is done!
It’s amazing what a huge difference a few pairs of perfectly fitted jeans, nice button up’s, a couple cashmere sweaters, basic t-shirts, a gorgeous Armani sport coat, light
jacket, and Ferragamo drivers can do! And to top that…what some good tailoring can do! 
It was so much fun watching him transform before our eyes, literally and figuratively! With just a few tips and feedback on his attire – he was truly so happy and excited with his new looks.
A few fall fashion tips for any men out there who would like to get the inside scoop on what women think. 
– Layering is a very sexy look (especially for Fall and Winter.) A nice pair of fitted pants, t-shirt underneath, button up, a nice sweater/cardigan and coat.
– Get creative! Try new colors, patterns, mix and match for a fresh and stylish look!
– A pair of nice casual shoes and one that is dressier.
– Whatever you choose to wear, be sure you are comfortable and aim to look good effortlessly!
-If you aren’t feeling “it”, don’t buy it. You need to be yourself and feel good
about your new look.

Amy I can’t meet a good guy! Help!

Dear Amy !  My 28-year-old daughter saw your article on ABC news on July 10, 2012 and was very impressed.  I viewed the link she emailed to me and am very impressed as well. …she just cannot meet a good man…she recently went to one of those speed dating situations and all the men were sub-par and only interested in you know what right now …she is way over the top too good for that messiness…and also extremely well-educated and pretty….hope to hear from you.  
Dear new friend,
What a great mom to write me on behalf of your lovely daughter!
I would advise your daughter to strongly look at the ways she is going about meeting men. The speed date thing is definitely “hit” or “miss.” I’m proud of her that she put herself out there like that and now understands the results can be dicey. Time to move on! Don’t waste time going to more.
Take half a day and in a quiet place really have her think about the types of men she envisions herself with. Are they sporty? Are they intellectual? Are they into the culinary arts? Is he a dog or cat lover? Any town is guaranteed to have men living in it and good ones too! I swear!  The question becomes, where would her type of future hubbie hang out?
After she has put her thoughts on paper,  I would ask her to consider starting to go to the places that these men might be at. If thoughts of a Bill Gates-esque man sends her over-the-moon with school girl giddiness, time to head to every computer science lecture in town, bookstores, and even heading to the local college to see if she can drop in a lecture- with the professors permission. Be aggressive! Ask questions! The world is her oyster!
As she is in these new environments, your daughter needs to dress the part (and genuinely feel good about herself) confidentially smile and say hello to each and every person she meets, and establish good eye contact. Every potential suitor loves the idea of a confident and happy woman. Who wouldn’t want to be around that type of person?!
This advice is very basic but the actual application of doing this will result in a seismic shift in her personal life. Finding a good, genuine, normal, commitment (amen!) minded man is actually much easier than many of us think! 
I was emailing with a dear client today and she reminded me that I had suggested she check out a local cafe here in Palo Alto (as I had thought the intellectual and good type of guy she would ultimately desire might be stationed there reading or on laptop with cappuccino.)
Turns out, the first guy she chatted with ends up being her now fantastically brilliant Stanford prof beau!  I love this! She listened, she entered the right type of place and next thing she knows, a first date (and perhaps last first date she ever has) is lined up!
This lesson I have shared is to place yourself in the right environment. In doing so, you will see a change. Your prince is not going to show up on your doorstep. You MUST go out and find him. Once in the right environment, your prince will undoubtedly pursue you, yet you must be there for OPPORTUNITY to happen. 
Now go get that pad of paper and have at it with your dream type! Have fun on your quest!

Linx on ABC News Nightline!

We have been so completely inundated with matchmaking requests since Nightline aired nearly two weeks ago, that we are just now placing this entry up! It was so exciting getting to see the final product of our nearly 1.5 years in the making of this feature story.

Our featured song for this entry is Peter Gabriel’s Big Time. 

With only about 7 minutes of total airtime, a lot of great footage of other clients having participated never made it to the final cut. We had three other client stories and my actual interview with Bill Weir was 45 minutes! Such exciting stuff for our little business out of quiet Menlo Park, CA!

By KINGA JANIK

July 10, 2012

 On paper, Sundar Iyer seems like quite a catch.

He has a doctorate in computer science from Stanford. His second company sold when he was just 28 years old. His interests include ballroom dancing, standup comedy and recreational math.

So the ladies of Northern California must be lining up around the block to swoon over his intellect, dream about having children with him and splitting up the stock, right? But Iyer says not so much.

“I‘ve tried Match.com, I’ve tried eHarmony,” he said. “It’s hard to find people you can really relate to.”

And there’s others like Iyer. Silicon Valley may be the most recession-proof corner of the country, packed with brainiac billionaires, but the Revenge of the Nerds won’t truly be complete until these guys can find love.

And that is where self-made matchmaker Amy Andersen comes in.

I think when people initially visualize that Silicon Valley guy, they’re really picturing these mini Bill Gateses running around with coke bottle glasses and maybe pocket protectors, just totally clueless around women, and there is definitely some of those, let’s be honest here,” she said.

About a dozen years ago, Andersen said she realized that the dotcom boom in Silicon Valley created a lot of very successful and very lonely men. Meanwhile, nearby San Francisco was crawling with smart, attractive and single women. So Andersen launched Linx Dating in 2003 to bring the two groups together.

I find a lot of the guys in Silicon Valley can be so exceptional on paper. These guys have been absolutely rock stars in their academic careers. Professionally, they’ve sold companies. They are just going incredible places. And when they come into my office, I often see this deep insecurity, especially in landing or trying to pick up and attract a beautiful woman. It’s very hard for them,” she said.

Andersen started out beta-testing her idea on her friends and researching dating advice. Almost a decade later, Linx Dating has grown into a prosperous business with more than 1,000 paying clients, according to the company’s website.

But Andersen’s services don’t come cheap. Packages start out around $1,000 and go up to the VIP level with a hefty price tag of $50,000, which includes wardrobe consultations and date coaching, Andersen said.

For instance, he might show up for a first date in a really shiny sports car. And that’s really great and all, but the wrong woman is going to end up with him for the wrong reasons. My advice for these guys, and it’s happened so many times, is to rent a car. Borrow your buddy’s Prius or Honda. And if you’re with the right woman, she will be with you for the right reasons, and not the wrong ones,” she said.

For his part Iyer says he signed up with Linx not for coaching, but for introductions to women he might not otherwise meet in the male-centric Valley.

When Andersen meets with clients, she has them fill out a vast and deeply personal questionnaire, which includes such questions as “rate your physical appearance on a scale of 1 to 10. She then works to build their confidence and match them up on dates.

I think a lot of the Silicon Valley-based guys who are so incredibly successful and cerebral tend to be very analytical. They can be very preprogrammed and robotic in the motions that they carry on through life. It’s their mind that has led them to be so successful. Now the issue at stake is that that analytical mentality doesn’t exactly compute over to the dating world where emotion and feeling and that emotional intelligence is really important,” Andersen said.

Andersen said her method works better than Match.com or eHarmony — websites that use computer algorithms to match people’s profiles — because she can help her clients get over their anxieties and teach them how to present themselves on dates.

A computer can’t whisper into your ear and say here’s a little history into your match, and this is what you should wear. These are points to talk about. Avoid this,” she said. “It’s really that very personalized approach that makes this incredibly unique, and that no algorithm could do, no computer, no geeky piece of technology or iPhone app could figure out.”

Perhaps she is right. Maybe, even in Silicon Valley, love is tech-proof. 

Success! VIP Bachelorette Search Event Last Week!

Last week we spent July 10th, 11th and 12th at the luxurious St. Regis hotel in San Francisco searching for the perfect, needle in a haystack, dream bachelorette for a young 32 year old VIP bachelor client.

Our featured song is Jody Watley Looking For A New Love. 

My assistant, Aimi, and I checked in and literally hit the ground running for the next few days (in my typical style, I only left the hotel from check-in on Tuesday to departure at 1:00am on Saturday for 5 minutes mid week for a quick breath of fresh air!)  The style was individual private meetings with exceptionally stunning and brilliant women who had submitted their information as part of this search. In a few cases, my team recruited some women that we felt should be considered for the event. 

These women couldn’t have been more impressive, poised, fun to be around, and taking this process so seriously. I really am still flabbergasted at the quality of these women (think Ivy League education, young professionals, having it ALL going on, very attractive, family values, sweet, witty, and warm hearted.)

It’s been such an honor that our bachelor has brought us on board to help him find the love of his life and truth is, we had no idea (nor did he) what a successful turn-out this event would be. 

The stage was set in our luxe suite at the St Regis and our bachelor wanted each detail to be perfect. Every. Little. Detail.

Think – gorgeous suite at the St. Regis with sweeping views of San Francisco, multiple exotic floral arrangements, hand crafted chocolates as thank you gifts, French champagne, artisanal breads and cheeses, candles and soft music. The setting was super comfortable and environment conducive to open-up about love and potentially getting to meet this class-act of a gentleman.

The pièce de résistance was a collection of giclée canvases that our bachelor requested being showcased in the suite. What guy thinks of these things?! He is so creative and has such an attention to detail that so many do not. From a canvas about his passion for skiing in Europe, to a simple painting of a serene moonlit landscape, the idea was to inspire stories/ideas/thoughts from each of the lovely women that attended. 

We spent very long (15 hour plus and yes lots of coffee fueling us) exciting days personally sitting down and meeting each candidate asking them intimate details about their relationship history, family background, and what is the most challenging aspect about potentially dating themselves!  Aimi and I enjoyed a couple of late nights in our St Regis bathrooms burning there midnight oil! You can imagine that there were so many stories and personal thoughts we had to put into a document for our bachelor , that THIS part of the week was extremely labor intensive for us. I’ll tell you no other matchmaker anywhere would ever think to go to this length or desire getting every scrupulous detail to ensure a successful outcome. Every. Little. Detail. 

Candidate after candidate, conversation after conversation- we were so impressed at the underlying elegance and openness that these women brought to this cool opportunity. I think most agreed that this opportunity was just so hands down unusual. It isn’t typical for a guy in the Bay Area (San Francisco no less) to retain a company like Linx to help him in his quest for his dream wife (especially at his young age.) Most 32 years old are doing the Chestnut Street bar crawl. Tipsy Pig no thanks!

In my conversations leading up to the event, he really could not believe that these gorgeous and smart women were there to potentially meet him! He was so  honored and just really blown-away by the whole orchestration and overwhelming response. In a meeting leading up to the event the night before, he sat across from me, almost teary eyed at how blessed and humbled he felt. 🙂

As exciting and interesting as this entire journey has been – the hardest part is all the anticipation as to who our VIP Bachelor will choose. It just takes one girl and the reality is he is making some careful decisions currently. He might choose one or two to have dates with, maybe more, maybe less. In the end, these girls might realize they don’t want to meet him. It goes both ways. Something tells me this won’t be the case.

We will be doing more VIP events in the near future and possible an international search as well. Linx is always looking for the next VIP client to allow him or her to help with their dream search and making every little detail count!

 

 

How to Charm Him!

A short and sweet little post about charming a guy with the simplicity of wearing a charm bracelet. When my sister and I were very little, our mom started a wonderful tradition with us where we would add fun charms to our sterling silver bracelet after memorable family vacations or nostalgic occasions (graduation, getting your drivers license, getting a family puppy, etc). At this point, my bracelet is so loaded with charms (favorites include: a little bird cage from my grandma on my father’s side, a poodle, a high heel, and a best friend heart split in two.) 

I don’t always wear my bracelet but when I do, I notice it is a fabulous way to share a story about yourself in such a genuine and authentic way. Not only does it  make a loud jingle jangle sound as you bounce down the street but once on your date, inevitably he will ask what that is around your wrist and let the conversation  start!   You know he will want to know more and more! It’s just such a sassy flirting mechanism that every IT girl should try!

I think it is a lot more fun to buy a quality empty bracelet and slowly start collecting charms through the decades versus buying one that is already set with charms which might not have any particular meaning to you. It can become a bit of a scavenger hunt while on holiday as you search for the cutest, shiniest, little keepsake.  

James Avery Craftsman out of Texas has quite the collection of very durable and well made sterling bracelets and the sweetest little charms ever.  I have had my James Avery bracelet (including many of their charms) for goodness knows a very long time! 

This Weeks Featured New Clients

Our featured new clients this week: 

(1) A Caucasian, tall, slender, graceful, blond who is in her late 30s, very well educated and working in the internet real estate industry. She’s classy, soft-spoken, and feminine, while also dynamic and independent. She has a wide range of interests and prides herself in being an avid traveler – two of her recent trips were the Hamptons and Switzerland. This fabulous woman loves sports and spends time watching baseball, football, and tennis and enjoys live sporting events (her sports knowledge can probably rival any guy’s). Her ideal leading man is Caucasian, sophisticated, geeky, eccentric, quietly confident, and preferably tall. Deal breakers include: too Type A, aggressive, and doesn’t want kids.  

 (2) An incredibly wholesome late 20s Caucasian woman residing on the Peninsula. She is a graduate of a top liberal arts school and also has a Law degree.  Physically she is 5’ 7” and naturally beautiful with fair skin, dark long brown hair, and a very sweet smile. Her interests include cars, entertaining for close friends and family, old films, the arts, and reading… she considers herself a voracious reader (favorites include The Power of One by Bryce Courtney, Love in a Cold Climate by Nancy Mitford, and most things by Agatha Christie)   Her ideal match is a dynamic gentleman of any ethnicity, intellectual, geeky, a good communicator, and family centric. Deal breakers include: life-of-the-party, apolitical, has kids, over 42.

(3) A thoughtful and inquisitive early 40s Caucasian gentleman, Ivy League educated for his undergraduate and postgraduate, he spends his time as an executive at a hot tech company.  He is funny, down to earth, liberal, and very kind-hearted. His passions include daily swimming, reading fiction, skiing, tennis, lots of laughter, wine and entertaining. This gentleman has lived all around the world. Including Canada, Europe, and the East Coast. He grew up Christian, appreciates Buddhism, and would like his dream match to have a spiritual core to her.  His perfect match is a naturally beautiful woman in her early to mid 30’s, any ethnicity, and ideally career driven and either in (or with experience having been in) a leadership role. Importantly, she is intellectually curious, has an unwavering happiness about her, is thoughtful, and quick witted. Deal breakers include: very traditional, conservative, moody, over 36, atheist. 

(4) A vibrant and athletic Caucasian guy in his mid 20s, Stanford educated, and now working for a very well known tech company. His best physical features are his contagious smile, football-like physique, strong broad shoulders and dark brown features.  Being a total guy’s guy, he loves sports, trucks, poker and BBQ-ing with friends and family.  He’s young and extremely goal oriented, down to earth, funny, and just an overall fun guy with a very cheerful and “can-do” energy who is ready for commitment. He is looking for this same positive energy in his match – someone who enjoys the little things in life, leads an active lifestyle, enjoys dining and entertaining, and can be equally comfortable in the city drinking fine wine or appreciating the country life kicking dirt around listening to a country music concert.  She is Caucasian, Latin or Asian American ethnicity under 30 years old, petite with curves, bubbly, sweet, and smart. Deal breakers include: curly hair, extremes with religion, has kids, doesn’t want kids, atheist, and someone who is too environmental.  

If you feel you make a wonderful potential match for any of these clients, please contact Amy today! amy@linxdating.com

Advice for Men on Getting to Date Two

How to find her and make her yours!

The secret?

Silicon Valley has thrived from men and women leading with their cerebral intensity. When it comes to matters of the heart, that intensity doesn’t always translate to finding love!

advise our male clients to get out of your head! When dating, it’s very easy to get stuck in your head and having a million thoughts and questions running through your head i.e. “Is she into me? Should I ask her out again? Is she enjoying the date? What is she thinking?” 

Remember that this takes away from you being fully present. When you are on a date and thinking about how to get to that second date – just be frank. If you like her, let her know. If you want to see her again, let her know. It’s really a lot simpler than you think – so, get out of your head, be present and 

man up to the dating challenge of actually not playing games. In other words, tap into emotion. How are you feeling? Women are looking for a man who is not only very smart from an IQ stand point but who has at least some self-awareness and EQ.  

Beyond this guys, while on the date, you must be attentive. This goes along with getting out of your head. When you are fully present, you are engaging in the conversation, picking up on signals, paying attention to details of the conversation, making eye contact, being aware of your body language, and complimenting her.

I am always astonished at the number of men who feel they don’t need to pay a compliment. Yes you do! These women make an effort leading up to the first date. She might get a nice mani & pedi, buy a cute flirty dress, and take dating seriously. A compliment disarms a woman, puts her more at ease, and creates a recipe for potential romance.

By getting out of your head and being attentive to your date, these are the baby steps towards achieving your personal goals at landing the woman of your dreams.

Linx in the New York Times June 7th 2012

Bachelorville’s Big Fish

By ALEX WILLIAMS

WHEN Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook married his longtime girlfriend, Priscilla Chan, recently, one of the world’s youngest billionaires was off the market.

But that doesn’t mean that there is a dearth of eligible singles in Silicon Valley.

Perhaps nowhere on earth are there more young, bright, wildly overcompensated hyper-achievers who are currently unattached. The Facebook initial public offering alone spawned, by some estimates, 1,000 millionaires (never mind that $1 million these days barely buys a ranch house in Palo Alto, Calif.). And every year, the pool grows, as a new crop of kids arrives from Stanford and Harvard, fueled by Mountain Dew caffeine and I.P.O. dreams.

But with everyone in a sprint to make their killing before the next crop of dreamers arrives to take their place, many find it hard to find time for dating. Faced with 16-hour workdays, it is hard enough to find time to shave.

Part of the reason for the glut of singles is demographic. For all the inroads that female power brokers like Marissa Mayer of Google or Sheryl Sandberg of Facebook have made, the upper echelon of the tech world remains largely a male domain. Of the American start-up tech firms with venture capital backing, for example, only about 11 percent had female chief executives or founders as of 2009, according to Dow Jones VentureSource data, cited in The Wall Street Journal in 2010. (The industry’s gender imbalance also lurks at the core of the recent high-profile sexual-discrimination lawsuit by Ellen Pao, a female junior partner, against her employer, the venture capital firm Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers).

The imbalance is also painfully clear to the male tech executives in the Santa Clara Valley, who bitterly joke about living in “Man Jose” or “Manta Clara.”

For women, “the ratio certainly can work in your favor,” said Julia Allison, a former tech journalist who divides her time between New York and the Bay Area, and says she finds digital entrepreneurs more satisfying partners than Wall Street moguls: “Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who was changing the world?”

Unlike Hollywood, or even New York, Silicon Valley is not a nightclub culture. People talk work even for fun in their supposed off-hours, trading industry gossip in low-key spots like Philz Coffee or the Old Pro, a sports bar, in Palo Alto, said Amy Andersen, who runs Linx Dating, a Menlo Park-based dating and social network that caters to high-earning tech executives. It’s an insular world. “Silicon Valley connections — whether they are for business, love, or friendships — occur from trusted sources,” she said.

Our admittedly unscientific roundup of some of the unmarried tech executives who inspire the most buzz in Silicon Valley and its East Coast counterpart, Silicon Alley, is still mostly men who have a net worth in eight or nine figures. But that could change in the next few years as a generation of hard-charging single women in their 20s (Alexa Hirschfeld of Paperless Post, Hayley Barna from Birchbox or Melody McCloskey from StyleSeat) begin to make their move.