Amy Andersen celebrity matchmaker

Are You Choosing to be Thankful?

By: Linx staff member, Michael Norman Quiz-Thanksgiving-Style-Header1

With the holidays just around the corner, this can be a great time to meet someone new, but it can also be an incredibly lonely time for those of us who aren’t surrounded by close friends and family.  As an unattached only child whose parents don’t live nearby, I was acutely aware of this kind of isolation just a few Christmases ago; I had very recently had a rather nasty surgery and both of my parents were sick, so it wasn’t wise for us to spend the holiday together.  I don’t think I’ve ever actually had a boyfriend of significant other during the holiday season, so that part I could handle – but being away from my parents was tough.

I thought I was going to spend the day alone (almost literally) licking my wounds and feeling sorry for myself until a good friend invited me to join her, her roommate, and one of her co-workers for an impromptu Christmas dinner.  While it certainly wasn’t the same as spending the day with my parents (which I’ve done three dozen times or so) it definitely proved to be one of the most memorable holiday dinners of my life.  (When an investment banking lesbian, a three-hundred-pound gay man on painkillers, a newly out gay lawyer who secretly wants to be a caterer, and a straight black project manager who was a collegiate swimmer consume 7 bottles of wine in 6 hours while talking about their families and their sex lives, it’s bound to be memorable.)  I learned a lot of things I never expected to learn that evening, and one of the most important is that being alone is often a choice.  Just because I wasn’t able to follow a family tradition, I assumed I had to spend a holiday alone.  I wasn’t allowing myself to consider other options, to embrace other types of family, to invest in other types of relationships, or even to invest in myself.

This year I expect to spend the holiday with my parents – just as I’ve done for years – but should that plan be somehow interrupted, I know that I’ll consider alternatives.  And I would enjoy those alternatives.  So even if you’re separated from your family – whether by distance or something harder to overcome – or if you’re new to your current hometown and don’t have an established social network, there’s no reason to spend the holidays alone.  In fact, if you take the initiative to invite new people into your world on a day when they would otherwise feel alone and possibly dejected, you might be incredibly surprised by the warmth and intensity of the connection that could result.

Here are some ideas for getting through the holiday season in good cheer, and maybe even building some relationships (romantic or otherwise) along the way.animated-thanksgiving-desktop-backgrounds-wide-photos-hd-wallpapers-free-thanksgiving-desktop-wallpapers-backgrounds

Host a “Misfit” Thanksgiving…

If you don’t already have plans for the holiday, ask around in your circle of friends or even post to Facebook; you’ll probably find that you’re not alone.  If you’re not a great cook, you have plenty of options that could still make you a great host or hostess.  Plenty of restaurants and grocers (like Draeger’s and Whole Foods) offer complete or a la carte solutions for Thanksgiving dinner.  You may find that one or more of your guests is a great home chef, so give them the opportunity to bring dishes (or just encourage them to bring wine or desserts) and fill your home with new friends and holiday cheer.  Speaking from personal experience, this can be a truly wonderful way to spend a holiday, and can be much more intimate and fulfilling than you might expect.

Take Yourself Out to Dinner…

If spending the day alone is inevitable, and you know you know that staying inside all day isn’t good for you, make a reservation for yourself at one of the many, many SF restaurants that will be serving dinner this Thanksgiving.  Some of the restaurants promising to give you reasons to be thankful this year include Michael Mina, Epic Roasthouse, Campton Place, and One Market, so odds are that you’ll be experiencing plain pilgrim fare taken to an entirely new level.  You might also want to stop into a great bar or lounge for an after dinner drink and some great conversation; you won’t be the only person spending the day without family, and you definitely won’t be the only person open to connecting with someone new.

Lend a Helping Hand…

For some people, volunteering on Thanksgiving is a tradition unto itself, and the Bay area is full of opportunities for helping out.  At Linx, we always think that volunteering is a great way to meet someone (who doesn’t like dating a man or woman with a heart of gold?) and the single person you’d meet volunteering on Thanksgiving will be just as impressed with you as you are with her or him.  Even if scoring a date isn’t the first thing on your mind that day, it’s not a bad consolation prize for being a good citizen. 😉  Good sources for finding volunteer opportunities include Glide Memorial, Hands On Bay Area, and Little Brothers.  You could also contact your local church or food bank or even a retirement center for more ideas; lots of people would love company this holiday season, and not all of them have the option of leaving their homes.People-volunteering-at-so-012

Relax and Reflect…

There’s nothing wrong with just taking the day to yourself and doing nothing at all.  You don’t have to leave the house.  You don’t have to eat turkey.  You certainly don’t have to eat pumpkin pie.  You could stay in, do laundry, sort piles of receipts, and downshift from everything going on in your life.  You could take the day to really think about your life, and examine all of the reasons you have to be thankful.  It would be very easy to focus on being alone, and to fixate on what you consider the missing pieces in your life, but it’s so much more valuable to take an inventory of what’s right in your world.  Most of us are drawn to positive, optimistic people, and the best way to be positive is to really be aware of the gifts in your life; you probably have many.  And you probably know what most of them are.  Don’t be afraid to make a list, and check it twice.  Christmas, after all, is just around the corner. 😉

Tell me a story…

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One of the questions Amy and I often get at Linx is that of when – and how – to bring up certain sensitive long-term relationship topics with someone you’re seeing.  If you’ve met someone through Linx, it’s likely we can provide you with those answers directly.  For example, we actually know how our members feel about having (more) children, how they feel about potentially relocating from the Bay area, what their ideal timelines for marriage and parenthood could look like, etc.  But if you’ve met someone on your own, found someone online or at work, or got set up by friends, the likelihood that you can get answers to any (or even one) of those questions is actually pretty slim.

When looking for dates, some of our clients tend to really focus on the timelines they have in mind for these milestones in their own lives, and are only interested in pursuing matches whose personal forecasts align with theirs.  While I can see how that might make sense initially, it can actually work against you in the end.  You can lose a lot of time looking for a man or woman who wants to share the same schedule you do; personal schedules can actually shift quite a bit as people get into relationships, learn what is important to their significant other, and realize what it might be like to be engaged, married, or even a parent with this particular person in their lives.  We can be deeply affected – and motivated – by the hopes and desires of the people we love.  We can change.

The lives we plan for ourselves as single people are the lives that make the most sense to us given the information we have at hand, but when the guy or girl of our dreams gets replaced by the man or woman who shares our vision for the future, sometimes our plans change radically.  Just this week, I met with a 31-year-old woman who said she wasn’t sure about having children.  But as we talked more, it became clear that really, what she didn’t want to do was make plans for her future that she thought should be made with someone else.  After all, whose kids would she be having?  Where and how would they be raised?  And what would they look like?  As a single woman, she could only have half of the answers, and so she was waiting until she had more information before making a decision; her Mr. Right can come in lots of different forms, so when she meets a man with whom she has incredible chemistry and the right kind of connection, the two of them can work out the answers together.

But what if you really do want a very specific kind of future?  And you really are only looking for a man or woman who shares certain values and goals?  How do you find out if a stranger is on the same page… or at least reading from the same chapter?  How do you ask those questions without seeming crazy, presumptive, or rude?

Believe it or not, one of the worst things you can do in this situation is be direct.  Asking someone a very specific question like “Do you want to be engaged in the next year?” or “Do you see yourself having kids with me before you’re 40?” can be a really excellent way to kill an otherwise budding romance.  Amy recommends that people try to suss out someone else’s views on big picture issues in the first 4-6 dates; you definitely want to make sure there’s a shared sense of chemistry before you start talking about bigger issues, but you also want to make sure you have common goals before you make a big investment, so get clarity after you establish a connection but before you discuss exclusivity.  After all, why take yourself off the market if the potential isn’t there for this relationship to make a significant run?

It turns out the best way to find out if the man or woman you’re dating shares your goals and values is by giving examples and sharing stories.  So if you’re checking for long term compatibility, here are some easy steps to draw him or her out in conversation, and get a real feel for how they think about relationships, and what they might want their next great one to look like.

1.     Start at home.  Hopefully, your parents or siblings have healthy relationships you can discuss with your date.  Talk about the things that you find enviable and admirable in those relationships.   Be positive and focus on what you’d like to emulate in your own future and household.  Stay away from timelines in this conversation, and even avoid talking about kids.  You really just want to get a sense of whether or not the two of you understand love and commitment in a similar way.  Parental relationships give you a sense of someone’s long view of relationships, and will also give you insight into what they fear.  Pay attention to words like “boredom, frustration, isolation, monotony,” and “codependence.”  Some people really do mean it as a joke.  Some people really do not.  You can usually tell the difference.

2.     Talk about your friends and colleagues.  If you want to discuss timelines for relationships and engagements, you hopefully have a set of friends and colleagues who provide models for this.  Sometimes those models will be ideal.  And sometimes they will not, which can be just as useful.  Don’t be afraid to talk about a relationship that you find flawed or even unappealing. (We all know that couple who’s dated for more than ten years but still isn’t engaged, right?)  Your date might not agree, and that’s good for you to know early.  The great thing is that you’ll be talking about big issues, but you’ll also be talking about other people, so you can take in all of his or her thoughts and judgments, but you don’t have to take all of it personally.  Don’t be afraid to suggest alternatives you think could work.  Don’t be shy asking about why he or she might feel a certain way, and if anything could make him or her feel differently about an issue, and be sure to get your date talking about the relationships of the people in his or her life, too.

3.     Talk about the kids in your life.  These may be nieces and nephews.  These may be the kids of co-workers.  These could even be much younger siblings, in theory.  But feel free to talk about the kids in your world, and how you connect with them.  If there is a childcare model represented in that set of children that makes the most sense to you – and you want to be a parent – focus on it and see if your date gives you any thoughts or feedback on what he or she might one day want.  And ask about the kids in his or her life.  This is a really important thing to do even if you do not want children; either way, make it clear to your date that you have thought about this issue, you do have exposure and experience with kids, and you do have clarity on what role they could play in your future.  Hopefully he or she will be able to let you know what role kids might (or might not) play in theirs.

Staggered over a couple of dates, these conversations will tell you a lot about what someone else wants out of life.  Schedules change all the time in relationships, but goals and values tend to be static, so make sure that you and your match align in the ways that are truly important.  So often, we think that we can get people to change over time; the real truth is that time changes us, and it doesn’t give us a lot of choice in how that happens.

In a perfect world, we’d all find someone who’s in exactly the same life stage that we are – ready for all of the same things to come to us at the same speed.  But that could be awfully boring. 😉  We don’t really need someone ready to follow our timetable.  We don’t really need someone who’s on the same page, reading from the same script, expecting the same fairytale.   What we really need is someone who’s looking in the same direction, who’ll hold our hand through every unexpected twist and turn, and who’s determined that – in the end – we’ll both end up side by side, and in the same place. In remembering this, we are confident you will get closer and closer to finding the right match.

Crushing the Fall at Linx

October has been tremendously busy for us with clients and a lot of great happenings. We’ve been crushin’ it at Linx with a lot of great momentum and good things happenings all the way around.

Today we found out that Linx has received the Palo Alto Best Businesses Award for 2014 in the category of matchmakers.

Each year, in and around the Palo Alto area, the Palo Alto Best Businesses Award Program chooses only the best local businesses. They focus on companies that have demonstrated their ability to use various marketing methods to grow their business in spite of difficult economic times. The companies chosen exemplify the best of small business; often leading through customer service and community involvement. For most companies, this recognition is a result of dedication and efforts as well as the work of others in the organization that have helped build the business. The Linx team is excited to now a part of an exclusive group of small businesses that have achieved this selection!

Onto other news, this week, we’ve had multiple couple announce their love for one another. We are so very pleased to announce a wedding that took place over last weekend in Manhattan and the happy couple even got featured in the New York Times wedding section!  They are currently honeymooning overseas and probably will never want to return back to reality!  He was her very first match and she was his 4th Linx match. The courtship was short…neither wanted to date for the sake of just dating. There was real purpose, intention, and determination to get engaged from both sides.

Although this newly wedded couple are on the younger side, we’ve seen quite a few 45+ year old clients find excellent connections from Linx. When it feels right, it feels like something to focus on 100%. One beautiful VIP client wrote to me today sharing “With your help, I have finally found the truest love I have ever experienced. This was the best investment I ever made…an investment into my heart.” My heart just gushes with such happiness when we successfully bring two people together that would have most likely never met otherwise.

Another client just sent in a great testimonial about his experience with Linx. He’s late 30’s in tech and shares “Linx might seem expensive at first, but the feedback alone makes it worth it.  Can you imagine how different your entire dating history would be if someone had given you honest feedback after every unsuccessful first date?  Amy puts real thought and work into making exceptional matches from an engaged and well-filtered group.  And then she explains what’s great about you to your dates before you even meet them; you’re already off to an excellent start before you’ve even said “hello!”  It’s hard to put a price tag on that kind of introduction.”

We’ll be blogging more frequently (I hope) in the next couple of weeks once we hit November. All of this joy calls for none other than a little Pavarotti singing “Nessun Dorma.” I consider him to be the best tenor in history. Such a gorgeous song and with the most spectacular voice to match.

Are You… Available?

It goes without saying that everyone who choses to meet with the Linx team has expressed interest in finding a relationship, but that doesn’t mean everyone is actually prepared to be in one.  In fact, figuring out whether or not someone is ready for a relationship can be quite complicated.  And it’s interesting to see the ways in which we all get stuck in places and patterns that keep us from moving forward with our lives.

We often talk about helping people break free from their current dating inertia; for some clients, that involves helping them learn how to date for the very first time; for others, it involves reintroducing them to the dating world after divorce; and for an unfortunate few, it can mean helping them meet incredibly trustworthy, loyal individuals after an experience with infidelity.  These are all, obviously, very big stumbling blocks when it comes to getting into a relationship and they take a lot of work to overcome.  But smaller obstacles can be just as detrimental when it comes to letting another person into your life, and we it comes to find love, many of us are more guilty of standing in our own way than we realize.

Lately, Amy and I have seen a pattern of more and more first(!) dates not even happening because of poor communication and scheduling conflicts.  This is incredibly disheartening for us because we put so much work into each match behind the scenes.  But beyond that, it’s a huge missed opportunity for everyone involved.  And it’s often the result of unreasonable expectations, inflexibility, or not being honest about the amount of time you have to pursue a relationship.

It’s sometimes the case that people honestly do not realize how busy and overcommitted they are until presented with the option of an introduction.  If these are temporary social or charitable engagements that will clear from your schedule in some reasonable amount of time as you get to know someone, don’t sweat it; most of us actually find it attractive when some has a full and active life, and even look forward to eventually being part of it.  Be upfront about your commitments – give your date a roadmap to let him or her know how quickly those obligations might clear, and dating should pretty easily fall into place from there.

If, on the other hand, you find that you really can’t plan to get together because you constantly work late, are always traveling, are on call, or don’t know your schedule, this may not be the time for you to be dating.  And you should admit that.  If work is controlling your life, don’t expect a potential date to let it control his or her life, too.  This may not be your fault, but it’s also not fair to the person attempting to date you.  Let them go for now.  With some luck, he or she will circle back when timing is better on both sides.  But if you press forward when you really don’t have the availability to build a relationship, you’ll just end up engendering hard feelings and frustration.  No one wants that.

If, however, you can’t seem to find the time to meet because you’ll only have a first date on weekends (but don’t have any free time for the next three of them), can’t go out on Thursdays (because you have your fav yoga class on Friday mornings), don’t like Monday dates (because you’re too tired after work), refuse to have a weekend breakfast date because they aren’t romantic (even though you’ll only meet on weekends and don’t have any free weekend evening for the next month) then you may be standing in your own way.  And that is your fault.
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It is really, really important to be open and honest about what you need when you start dating someone.  But it is equally important to not be totally rigid and difficult when it comes to the things you want.  You need to be home by 10pm if it’s a weeknight?  Fine.  You need to meet in the city or in Silicon Valley because you don’t have a car or don’t have a ton or time?  Perfectly understandable.  You only want Saturday night first dates scheduled six weeks in advance with regular phone calls and texts beforehand, and you expect your date to be patient, excited, and agreeable because this is what works best for your social/exercise/shopping/travel calendar?  Absolutely not.  When you’re that limiting and specific with your date, you’re not just telling him or her that you’re busy – you’re telling your date that you expect to dictate all of the terms of your relationship, and no one wants to be on the receiving end of that message.  Ever.

Being flexible isn’t just about dating someone who doesn’t look like the actor you fantasize about or the crush you had in college; it’s about stepping out of the box of your life and realizing that your future is going to look exactly like your present unless you start to make different choices.  Amy hates asking the question “Are you single?” because it’s both too vague and too specific at the same time.  She always prefers to ask people “Are you available?” because it’s important to know if they’re unattached, interested in finding commitment, and willing to do the work it takes to get there.  It’s like asking “Are you single? Are you looking for love?” and “Are you willing to invest in another person in order to find it?” all at the same time.  It’s important to be flexible in a lot of ways when you start dating someone, and that includes being flexible with your time, your attitude, your tastes, and your expectations.  In fact, flexibility is the difference between being single and being available — it’s a measure of how open you are to being surprised, and how willing you are to take a chance on trying to make something work.  It also happens to be attractive. 😉

So what about you?  Are you flexible or are you rigid?  Are you open or are you closed?  Are you just single and expecting a stranger to walk into your life, compliantly play by your rules, and make sure that you live happily ever after?  Or are you available – ready, willing, and able to meet someone else in the middle, prepared to no longer be the obstacle that stands in the way of your own success, and open to finding out what it’s like to let someone else co-star in your personal pursuit of happiness?  The question is yours to answer, but don’t forget that it’s an answer you’re constantly sharing with the world.

“Do You Have Anyone… Younger?”

We hear this question perhaps more often than any other — at least once a day, sometimes once an hour, and never, ever, in jest. We hear it from men and women young and old, from divorcees and widows, from single mothers, lonely dads, and those hoping to find a Happily Ever After that keeps them from becoming one of the above. We hear it… all the time.iStock_000019428153Small

There are a lot of reasons someone might want a younger spouse; beyond the superficial, men tend to point out the desire for fertility in women (funny we’ve never heard that one before guys!), and women tend to point that men don’t live as long as they do, so each gender can certainly make a valid point. But most of the time that we get asked for an introduction to someone younger, age actually has very little to do with it. Most of the time, people aren’t looking for someone young. They’re looking for someone youthful, and they’re hoping to go on a date with a man or woman who is willing to exhibit real, unbridled enthusiasm; they’re looking for a date who is excited about meeting them.

For those of us who’ve been dating for longer than we’d like, or who’ve cycled through the same three first date restaurants far too many times, we can start to think that every first date will be just like those that didn’t work before. We already know where we want to sit, what we’ll likely order, and how bad or good a particular waiter might be. We can fall into a familiar routine far too easily, and treat our dates like they’re part of a longstanding pattern that he or she did nothing at all to establish. In fact, it’s OUR responsibility to try to break that pattern; after all the only common link in all of those failed first dates is… us.

Try to remember that it’s not your date’s fault that you already go to Left Bank with your friends every Thursday night. Don’t talk to the guy across the table from you about all of your ex’s past sins. And please, please, don’t tell the woman you’re trying to court all about how you “destroyed your ex-wife in the courtroom.” Young people think a lot about the future; older people think a lot about the past. Which one do you find more attractive? And which one do you think you want to be? Age may dictate lots of things about your body, but it doesn’t have to play any role at all in your attitude; you may not always be young, but you can always be youthful.

We do our best to rise to the challenge when our clients ask to meet someone younger, but more often than not, we know that an age gap isn’t really the solution. Our clients quickly realize it too, but instead of understanding that the difference in age is too big, they usually decide that it simply isn’t big enough. When we’re really, really lucky, they finally admit that they might be better off taking our advice about the men or women they should date. And in the very best cases — when we’ve met people who are optimistic, full of life, and looking toward the future — we’re able to say to our clients “We happen to know an incredibly warm and youthful person you should meet… and the two of you happen to be about the same age.”

Sexiest Silicon Valley Bachelors | Who Tops Your List?

Female readership of the Linx Line….I am taking a poll on your thoughts and suggestions for THE
most eligible Bay Area & Silicon Valley bachelors. article-0-19AB1214000005DC-189_634x764

If you could have a date tonight with one of these hunks…who is on your list? What well-known technology mogul, entrepreneur, or investor-type makes you swoon?

Email me: amy@linxdating.com who is high on your list of steamy, dreamy, desirable men. I’m not publishing anything…so don’t worry about your name being associated with this anywhere.

Find Love There Are No Excuses

In my journey to find my husband, I often wondered if I would ever find true love and sometimes reached a deep level of concern within my conscious soul that I indeed might not. Back then, I did not like that feeling and found it empty, sad, and disconcerting. I needed an exit, an outlet, a way to see the positive from what was a void in my life… I seemed to be caught up in what society was telling me to do. I never really listened to my heart until I had a revelation one day – in wine country, at a pet parade, of all places!

In a moment of clarity, everything hit me. It was as if time and reality were suspended right in front of me – so I listened…

As I listened to my heart, I knew I had to make some changes in my life. Part of those changes for me, personally, meant moving and taking some time off from dating. Certainly I am not saying that everyone should move and take time off from dating. Yet what I am preaching to you today is to listen to your heart and to do what YOU need to do. As Hemingway once wrote, “I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.”

Take 15 minutes this week to have a moment within yourself. Get away from all of the noise surrounding you and create a sacred quiet place for just you. I know so many people who never spend alone time. Try it. During this time, close your eyes and block out all distractions. You cannot reach the state I am asking you to get to without removing all chaos from around you (roommates stomping around the apartment, dogs barking, cell phone buzzing, music playing…you get it). Get to a place of calm by closing your eyes and breathing deeply into your diaphragm and belly.

Try to reach a state of peace and quiet and once there you might achieve a clear state of heart and mind about what direction you should be heading in your personal life.

If you want to find love, then go find it, there are no really excuses. Finding your soul mate is one of the greatest experiences you will ever have. Do not wallow in your miseries or feel sorry for yourself. Only you can be an agent of change in your life. Why not pave the way for a bright and successful future? Too many people dwell on all of the negative garbage of the past and worry that they will never find anyone. Too many people also create so many lists of “must haves” in their mate that these lists actually become obstacles and block and progress in finding a partner.

This is the present, relish in today. Listen to what your heart tells you.

P.S. If this all sounds a bit contrived and like a meditative yoga class, here might be another way to get to the same place. My husband read this blog entry and really loved the message, but asked if he could add the following for another perspective 😉 :

I certainly agree with Hemingway that most people never listen (rather, they hear but often don’t listen.) But in my experience, at least, you can’t just decide to listen. You need to be ready and in the right place to listen and you can’t control that – you just need to be aware enough to let it happen naturally. I don’t recommend you force it – just be open to it.

Be open to finding big insights about yourself in what might seem like the small routines in life. Maybe rather than creating artificial silence and peace in a chaotic environment and consciously trying to reflect, you should just take time (whenever it just seems to hit you) to think about what really makes you happy. What do you look forward to? What do you not? How can you make it a point to do more things that make you happy? If tradeoffs are involved, how might you reconcile the different competing forces? Grappling with these important questions will likely give you many insights into what could be really important qualities to look for in a soulmate and also ways that you might better put yourself in position to meet that person. Remember, if you are in a good place yourself, you have a much better shot at attracting your perfect match.

This Week in Perspective

It’s been extremely busy at Linx HQ. I am still blown away that January is officially over. Have you noticed how some people still have Christmas trees in their windows and lights still decorating their homes? Did they not get the memo that the holidays are over? Hilarious. There is a home in my neighborhood that is still all lit up at night…right out of National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.

This past week was filled with tons of client meetings over breakfast at the Rosewood Sand Hill Hotel, coffee in SOMA, and in the privacy of our historic offices. We admitted new members this week…a quick snapshot includes a handsome 32-year old 6’0″ guy who is passionate about surfing in his free time, a witty 33-year old male with a devilish smile and wildly impressive career (who has been a vegetarian his whole life), and a 50-something real estate professional who loves travel, his kids, and Bay Area living. We also had a lovely visit with a young mid 20’s MD female member who was so sweet to bring us the most decadent homemade cupcakes (flourless chocolate w sea salt and carmel and a coconut tropical unbelievably fabulous concoction!) As you can see we hated them. 😉 vscocam1571

We spent a few hours conducting an in-home closet consultation for a vibrant, mature, and gorgeous 24-year old female. She hired us to edit her wardrobe, help her create looks (looks for work, work into dates, weekend wear, dressy styles etc). The great thing is that our client already has such an impressive wardrobe and everything she pretty much needs…it was just a matter of figuring out what works with what and helping her streamline things. Also her request and wish was to get her wearing color…not so much black all the time.

In working with our client, we also removed items that she has had since high school (yes high school..including her old prom dress…ok ok, she is only 24 years young!) and will be donating four huge garbage bags to Goodwill as a result. We put tons of looks together she already had in her closet (black 7 skinny jeans, silk Joie tank, paired with a tight Vince leather jacket zipped up accentuating her TINY waist and model physique, punchy colorful pashmina, black patent leather Louboutin pumps, and a great tote to top off her modern and very versatile look (so easy to transition from day to night). She was so impressed by our hard work, she’s hired us to come back this coming week for more wardrobe work.Christian-Louboutin-Pigalle The famous, highly coveted red CL soles…

My assistant (who is a very skilled photographer among many of her talents) has been snapping pics of our client in her various ensembles and will be creating a beautiful look book to keep in her boudoir for when getting ready. VINCE-WO127_V1 Vince leather jacket on a model

It’s been busy with creative projects as well….speaking to lots of media folks from all around the globe…including entertaining folks up from LA and showing them the Silicon Valley life. Beyond this, lots of matchmaking and presenting clients with our match ideas. This week alone we’ve done a ton of really good matches and are excited to hear how those first dates go. I’ve learned so much from my clients this past month- fascinating trends we are seeing in Silicon Valley and lots of interesting stories.

Here’s to an exciting February ahead for everyone. Stay focused on your New Years resolutions and don’t start slipping now. I have just completed my annual health “cleanse” I do every Jan for 31 days (major cardio, super green diet, no diary, no bad carbs, no alcohol) and I feel GREAT. Even though I am looking forward to a glass of wine (or two!) tonight with friends in San Francisco, I am making sure to set strict rules for myself to stay focused and very disciplined as I enter February. Healthy living is a LIFESTYLE and in order to be at my best in my life, I know I have to do certain things (sufficient sleep, lot of good clean eating, restricting my so called vices (e.g, drinking ,sugar, cheese) working out with my trainer multiple times a week, and taking time off from the daily grind to reset).

If you want more information about my cleanse ping me. This is my 7th year doing it…and I’m hooked! I’m not the only one either- when I interviewed a young CEO on Thursday, he is doing a 90 day cleanse. He said he sleeps better, has total mental clarity, is happier, and much more balanced.

Fun and funky old school workout song for you to load onto the trusty ipod.

VIP Service

We roll out the red carpet for our VIPs. Today we have prepared a fresh fruit platter, mimosa, OJ, decaf coffee, and little sweet treats. We want to ensure that their experience in our office is comfortable, extremely relaxing, and luxurious. IMG-20140117-00710

Have a great weekend everyone!

Women in Linx | Types of Women We Represent

I am often asked from men what type of women we represent at Linx and when we recruit for these guys (as a VIP client) what the structure of the so called castings are.

A very first step in our admission process is the vetting. I would want to make sure that a prospect of Linx adheres to the standards that Linx represents. Our clients are: well educated (75% have post graduate work completed from top universities), they are all professionals across a very wide range of industries, extremely well-rounded in their hobbies outside of career, dynamic, physically active (keeping healthy, fit, and balanced), and most importantly are commitment and marriage minded. These women are all ages (a huge populations in their 20’s and 30’s, followed by 40-60’s generally). girl5

Just like Stanford, Harvard, or CAL rejects even the most brainy and accomplished applicants, we do have to filter out people who simply are not a good fit for this network.

Those who are not “good fits” could be based on them not being comfortable with the concept of a commitment, not liking the protocol, not leading a healthy lifestyle, or me sensing that she is not ready for true love. Sometimes candidates possess an extreme anxiety about wanting to meet “the one.” If we sense that their energy is too intense and their expectations totally unreasonable (about what they seek in a match and general timeline of getting matched, engaged, and married), we simply won’t work with them. If we did work with that person, she would be supremely unhappy and our magic would be dampened by stress and stifled by pressure.

It should be noted that we are one of the only matchmaking firms that represents females as clients. We have a huge demand for our services with attractive and brainy women. In Silicon Valley and metropolitan regions such as San Francisco, New York City, and Los Angeles, there is no shortage of extremely accomplished professional women who are looking for love and needing help in their personal lives.

Many women also submit their information everyday to meet our VIP clients. We do regular screenings for these hundreds of women who want us to screen them to see if they have that je ne sais quoi that many of our successful VIP gentleman look for in their dream girl.

The structure of the castings is what we call “Mini Meet and Greets.” These are individual appointments that a female who has qualified for the in-person session makes with our team. We do a short in-person screening with her getting to know the candidate and seeing if she is not only adhering to the overarching standards that Linx represents (per the above) but also is importantly very OPEN-MINDED and flexible with her ideal match criteria since she would simply be in the database where matches/introductions occur opportunistically and flexibility is key in order for her to be matched. 09-09-testimonial

The women who submit their info to meet the VIPs can differ from those who are premium clients with respect to career. Some are not “as” successful, “hard charging”, and “Type A” as many of our premium female clients. Our premium female clients (just like the guys) want the exact same success they have achieved professionally yet now in their personal lives. The women who submit info to meet VIPs who qualify are not always MDs, corporate attorneys, and C-level execs. They might very well be teachers, nurses, in PR/marketing, assistants, and a wide range of other careers. That said, there are definitely less ambitious females who are premium clients and alpha females opting for a passive way to participate as well. In conclusion, the Linx network is extremely diverse with respect to every metric involved.