Mastering the Art of Sleep!

Mastering the art of sleeping is not always easy. The first step is living within the natural 24-hour cycle from light to dark.

Why is that important? And what does that mean?

Our hormones are based on Mother Nature’s cycle and respond to the rhythm of the day accordingly.

We are meant to rise with the sun (or as close to sunrise as possible), as our cortisol is highest at that time. As the day goes on, our cortisol lowers and our body prepares for rest.

This is the sleep cycle nature intended. No one is “naturally” a night owl.

If a person feels that they function best at night, they are more than likely experiencing hormonal dysregulation, and changes should be made to shift back into the natural cycle for better health and better sleep.

Steps Towards Getting Better Sleep

• Wake naturally without an alarm clock. If this is tough at first, set your alarm for a quiet “easing” into wakefulness by using a chime, gong or even a sunlight clock until you naturally wake on your own.

• Make sure you are getting your most pressing tasks done in the morning ‒ the things that require more energy than others, like exercising, stressful projects, etc.

• Eat on a schedule and eat real, clean food. Eliminate all processed refined sugars, grains and anything that comes in a box. Breakfast should not taste like a sweet treat. If you’re like me, you might feel better doing intermittent fasting. I normally just have some water and coffee in the morning. I push through with my morning run and then might have a few bites of lunch to carry me over, and then slowly eat my lunch starting around 12:00 p.m. onward.

• Expose your eyes and skin to sunlight (vitamin D) for at least 15-20 minutes per day. Absorbing sunlight is best done with bare arms and legs. Walk barefoot outside; feel the earth beneath your feet. If it’s not the season to be bare, get a natural vitamin D light for your home and talk to your doctor about supplementing.

• Daily exercise is critical. This might mean a brisk walk, using weights at home, a jog, a swim ‒ anything to get the blood flowing and body feeling balanced.

• As the day winds down, shut your blinds and lower the lights. Light a few candles, turn on relaxing music and take a warm bath with lavender essential oil.

• Eat before 6:30 p.m. and make your meal lighter than your lunch or breakfast. Eat a small protein/fat/carb snack before bed to stop the surge of adrenaline and cortisol that often happens in the night when blood sugar is off if you still struggle with wakefulness. As enjoyable as it is to unwind with alcohol, try to avoid this altogether. If that is not an option for your lifestyle, cut back and try one glass at dinner before it gets too late. Too much alcohol can keep your body and mind going well past bedtime.

• Turn off ALL electronics by 8:00 p.m.

• Take ten minutes to handwrite your thoughts and “To Do’s” for the next day. Once it is down on paper, you release it from your energy and your mind and free yourself to rest.

• If you still struggle with stressful thoughts, work on calming your anxieties during the day with a stress-reducing app on your phone.

• Place lavender calming oil on your temples and breathe deeply from your chest. Do some relaxing stretching before bed and when in bed, read. Definitely no browsing your news feed on your phone or scrolling Instagram! The goal is to be in bed asleep by 10:30pm at the latest.

• Remove ALL sources of light from the bedroom (including televisions, phones, alarm clock lights and light that filters through windows, etc). If this is not possible, wear an eye mask for total darkness.

• Hopefully with these tips you will be well on your way to a fabulous nights sleep!

Sweet Dreams……XX Amy 

 

Dating a man in his 40’s: 4 things he wants you to know

Dating a man in his 40s is an exciting experience. He wants to provide for a companion and has the means to do so—unlike many younger men, he’s usually established in his career and rather self-assured about his place in the world. In fact, studies like this one from the Atlantic show that a man’s desirability typically peaks around their 40s and 50s.

On the other side of the coin, there’s also a higher likelihood that he’s been married and/or has children. Though this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it may be daunting for some women.

So, what are the top 4 essential things to know about dating a man in his 40s?

(1) He likes clarity and honesty

A man in his 40s is more discerning and direct about his dating life—and expects you to be the same. 

Playing games like intentionally delaying messaging back for a few days, playing hard to get, or talking about other men to entice jealousy doesn’t sit well—for a man in his 40s, this behavior is more likely to be interpreted as a lack of commitment, and he may simply assume that you’re disinterested. 

He’ll appreciate you clearly expressing your interest, and he’ll also appreciate an honest and direct conversation if you’re not interested. With life experience behind him, he’ll more than graciously accept a thoughtful rejection, rather than a slow, time-wasting denouement. 

(2) He needs his space

A man in his 40s is serious about keeping up with his responsibilities. You’ll have to respect that he may be preoccupied during the day and may not always message back immediately, or that he might want to get to bed early in order to wake up early. 

The good news is that you’ll have more time to focus on yourself, especially when you have your own business, friends, and hobbies. 

(3) He may want a family

While every situation is different, it would be wrong to assume that every man in his 40s wouldn’t be interested in starting a family with you simply because he is divorced or has kids already.

If he has kids already, it is also important to understand that he may take his time to introduce you to them—this is normal as he’ll want to be assured things are serious before he takes that step in intertwining your lives. Again, give him the space to do this at his own pace.

(4) He’s not a fixer-upper

Lastly, studies like this one by Costa and McRae have shown that personality traits remain relatively stable in adults after 30. This explains why it is incredibly challenging—or nearly impossible—to fundamentally change a 40-year-old’s personality, and it is important to recognize that trying to do so will most likely only lead to frustration for both of you.

So, for example, if he’s consistently not interested in an outdoor hike on your favorite trail, then chances are slim that he’ll ever be.

A man in his 40s has been shaped by his life experiences, both good and bad, and he’ll have a much stronger sense of self for it. The major benefit for you—if you have the chance to be with someone who truly knows himself—is that this illuminates a clearer path to connection.

If you find yourself searching for love but not knowing where to begin, don’t hesitate to get in touch—I’m here to help. 

Wishing you love and good health,

Amy