Another testimonial came in from a 50-something male client in technology residing in the Silicon Valley. He’s in an exclusive relationship with his Linx match (and he’s her very first set-up through Linx!)
“I worked with Amy for over a year, and I’m extremely impressed — her screening process is thorough and her network is extensive. She’s very responsive and professional, always checking in to get your feedback about dates. She is genuinely caring and committed. I enjoyed her events, and was introduced to a number of intelligent, attractive women through her service. Thanks to Amy, I am now in a long term, committed relationship with an amazing woman. Priceless”
Month: January 2015
5 Star Linx Testimonial
Testimonial from mid-30’s male founder in technology, athlete, tier one education, San Francisco based….
“I’ve been a Linx client for the past year and a half — and I have nothing but positive things to say about Amy & the team. This review is based on my actual experience as a (paying) client.
There are a few key things that you should know:
* BOTH men and women pay to be a part of the Amy’s network, so there’s a level of commitment on both sides that just doesn’t exist with other services. When Amy connects you with someone, you take them seriously.
* Amy’s screening process is extremely thorough. She really dives into what you’re looking for, really gets to know you, and really puts thought into the folks she connects you with. She asks questions that cover both the superficial and deeper down (say what you will, but both matter in dating!). For example – one of the getting-to-know-you tasks is to assemble both a scrapbook of photos of people (anyone) you find attractive AS WELL AS photos of people you’ve dated. Amy wants to see the spread between what you imagine you want and what you’ve actually shown attraction to — that’s key and clever.
* Everyone uses her! Critical mass / network effect is so important with a matchmaker — you can be confident that you really are getting into a pool of like-minded people. I signed up after independently asking 3 different friends (guys and girls) how they met their significant others, and all said “Oh, this awesome matchmaker named Amy Andersen.” So the network is great.
* The Linx process saves a ton of time. The social proof begins right at the start — Amy tells you that you’re going to like this person. Amy tells the other person that they’re going to like you. Neither of you are going to flake (or face the wrath of Amy). You know the other person is vetted. They know you’re vetted. This literally saves weeks in the traditional dating process of un-returned texts/calls, cancellations, changed-minds, etc. You can be assured that at least the first date is going to be a good one. And if there’s no chemistry, well, so be it, but that’s up to you đ
Anyway – that’s it. It’s worth the $$, it’s worth the time.
(PS – I ended up dating the FIRST person Amy set me up with for a year. So there ya go.)”
Fess Up
What would you do if someone you were dating didnât tell you about a potentially devastating sexually transmitted disease they had in fear that youâd reject them from the start? We live in an era where STDs are rampant â some of these are curable and many are incurable such as HPV, herpes, and HIV/AIDS. Thousands of people find themselves single, searching, and living with incurable STDs everyday. These folks could be your neighbors, colleagues, fellow churchgoers, Soul Cycle patrons, former classmates, and potentially⌠your future lovers.
Today there are websites that are created for matching one STD carrier to another. Itâs a smart way to date and not have to worry about a) having to disclose a dark secret about your personal life to someone who wonât understand and b) worrying about transmitting anything since you both might very well have the same STD (especially if you meet through sites like h-date.com). These sites create a community of like-minded people to feel normal again, sexy, desirable, supported, and safe.
Although there appear to be a lot of choices for meeting other educated professional men and women who share oneâs same STD, many people opt-out of these community sites in favor of mainstream sites and apps like Match, Hinge, Tinder, and jDate. In theory there isnât anything wrong with someone with an STD enjoying the benefits of these various sites/apps, or of working with a matchmaker, assuming they practice full disclosure with whomever they meet.
There is a lot of shame and regret involved with having an STD and a lot of folks never know the âright timeâ to communicate that they have contracted something awhile back. I know someone very well who met a seemingly amazing guy on one of these apps out there. He was the perfect on paper prototypical guy many girls would swoon over: Ivy League educated, founder/CEO resume, well-rounded, cute, affable, and wellâŚshe felt he could be âthe one.â They enjoyed dinners out, laughed a lot, cooked together, and she even met some of his family members.
A red flag arose when he wanted to go exclusive early on. It seemed too good to be true to her- especially after so many misses happening with non-committal guys. He came on really strong, flowers on date two, lots of cuddling, consistent communication, wanting to see her, and what really felt like old-world courtship. Since she felt he could be too good to be true, she really didnât want to mess things up with sex too soon. He didnât pressure her, in fact, after many dates they didnât even âgo there.â She wanted to wait till she was really ready and sure that everything felt right.
About two months into dating pretty exclusively, he pulled out of nowhere a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on her. You know how someone can have a quick shift in personality and go from chill and fun one second to bizarre and distant the next? Thatâs precisely what he did to her. She called him out on it asking what was wrong. He grew increasingly weird that weekend afternoon and said that it wasnât working between them. Wasnât working, she thought? What on earth? Whereâd he pull that crap from? They had just had a fantastic lunch with his family, held hands, kissed, and laughed about some silly inside joke.
She knew there was more to it and he was holding something back. Was it an ex? Was he not the guy he represented himself as online? Sadly it was the latter. After tears shed and arguing back and forth, he admitted that he was afraid to tell her that he has a serious STD and THAT was the reason he wanted to break-up. She couldnât believe he had never disclosed that upfront. Every thought raced into her mind- could she have contracted the STD, what are the symptoms, why didnât he tell her sooner, where are all the honest men out thereâŚ..
The saving grace was that they had never slept together nor been intimate in any way. She was able to breathe a huge sigh of relief and move on with her life in that regard. What bothered her beyond the momentary STD scare was the fact that yet another âdouche bagâ of a guy failed to be honest and upfront about something so serious.
A lesson here is that the devil really is in the details when youâre our there dating on your own. Although someone could appear dreamy and like a total Romeo online, tread extremely cautiously until you have fully gotten to know that person. A lot of people withhold life-threatening information in fear of rejection or simply hoping they donât have to have the talk as it is âso heavyâ and there is ânever a good time.â
Be smart, wise, prudent, protective, and ask questions. Donât be afraid to have the talk and be the first one to ask your partner if they have had an STD screening or an HIV test, and when they had their last test. If youâre getting serious and thinking about having sex, the only right way is to openly communicate with your partner and then go get tested together. I emphasize going together as some people say they will but never do.
There is never a right time to bring up if you have an STD or suspect you might. Bring it up early on (think date two or three time frame). If your date is supportive, awesome! There are lots of ways to have safe sex together without having to worry. If your date closes the loop from getting to know you further, Iâm pretty sure they will be thankful you saved everyone time, energy, potential heartbreak or more by being upfront early on.
The Very Hungry Caterpillar
Advice of the day for the female readers is enjoy the ritual of breaking bread on your dates! What do I mean by that? Ladies arrive to your dates hungry and donât be fussy when ordering.
Men are often hypersensitive to women not eating on dates. It signals to them that you might have body issues or insecurities that he probably faced in a previous relationship and likely does not find attractive. At some point in our lives, most of us have been “that girl” who orders a small side salad, skips out on the bread, and has an ice tea on her dinner date. It’s so cliche….
Remember that classic line from one of my all time favorite movies Clueless where Cher feels out out control with her eating for the day? “I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M’s and, like, 3 pieces of licorice” Don’t come across as a high maintenance girl and announce what you ate, what you wish you ate, or how much weight you have to lose. This happens! I’ve heard it and I’ve seen it! Men think it’s sexy when a woman has an actual appetite. She’s not afraid to eat in front of him and not concerned with ordering what she actually wants to enjoy.
Linx guys expects to buy their dates dinner, so plan to actually eat dinner. Men often tell us theyâre turned off by women who donât eat. Also, you may think heâs never heard this, but saying âBut Iâm actually really full⌠this is the second dinner Iâve had today,â is not an original line. Every guy has heard that before. And no one likes hearing it.
Although my advice is to eat, drink, and be merry on your dates, the truth is many women do struggle with real eating disorders that plague their lives. I’m no expert on this topic and don’t have the knowledge to write about it but should you be someone who is reading this who does struggle with body image issues and any disorders, I strongly encourage you to seek professional help and not be afraid in doing so. The sooner you do this, the quicker you will be ready to date and date successfully….being that alluring and confident woman men love.
On a final note, try not to be too high maintenance when ordering. đ
A Few Insider Tips | First Date Advice
Happy New Years! We hope your New Year is off to an exceptional start and that you are starting to think about dating again after the holiday rush. Even the most seasoned daters among us can use a refresher course in the ins and outs of dating. Dating is a skill and preparation is key so you arrive confident, relaxed, and importantly enthusiastic! Here are a few key basic pieces of advice for men and women based on well over a decade of experience in matching thousands of Bay Area professionals.
For the Guys…
1. Call with a plan. When you call to schedule your date, have two or three restaurants in mind, as well as a few days/times that work for you. That way you donât get caught up in the early planning stages. For those guys who are rusty at dating and get caught up with nerves when calling her, itâs fine to even script this out if you need to. Make a checklist. Whatever works best for you.
2. Seek expert advice. If you donât know how to order wine or arenât even sure what seems like the best dish on the menu, ask for advice. Restaurants are full of âexpertsâ so let the server or sommelier direct your choices if youâre not good at making them for yourself. Women like men who are willing to ask for directions. đ
3. Stay out of quicksand. We all have topics weâd like to avoid in a first date conversation. All of us. Instead of completely deflecting them and sounding evasive or sharing too much and allowing the date conversation to take a difficult turn, develop a quick sound bite to address the topic and move on. For example, if you have a difficult custody situation with your ex-wife, simply say, âI actually spend as much time as I can with my kids currently, and weâre still negotiating what makes the most sense for everyone. Iâm optimistic this will have a happy ending.â This is a clean and concise way to convey factual, relevant details that is also positive and encouraging. Donât air your dirty laundry on a first date; you have nothing to gain by doing so.
For the women…
1. Be responsive. This one is really, really important. If your date calls you, respond to him quickly if you donât get his initial phone call. And donât start counting or matching days between calls in some sort of quid pro quo. You both want to go on a date, so make that happen. I repeat, you both want to go on a date, so make that happen. And make it happen sooner rather than later. A lot of great matches stall out because people get stubborn about returning calls instead of getting serious about establishing communication. I am continually amazed at the lack of responsiveness amongst many people I see out there dating in the wild.
2. Change for the better. Even if youâre in the sort of job where your work wear transitions well to dates, make a wardrobe shift to remind yourself that this isnât work and it isnât an interview and you donât do this every day. Frankly, itâs highly unlikely that your day looks are also great date looks, so donât be afraid to slip into a colorful dress, throw on a great pair of heels, and let your hair down. If not now, when?
3. Be direct. If youâre out of practice with dating, you might have a tendency to make conditional statements about future dates like âIâd like to do this again if you wouldâŚ.â Donât do that. Just be clear about it and say âIâd love to see you again. This has been a lot of fun.â The confidence will be incredibly attractive, and will make it easy for your date to ask you out again.
We have countless tips to share so if youâre someone who’s interested in hiring a date coach, inquire within amy@linxdating.com. As for matchmaking, we currently have so many successfully paired couples! In December alone, we celebrated engagements and learned about new Linx matches reaching exclusive status. Contact Amy today to learn more about our unique offline matchmaking services and how Linx can bring you multiple steps closer to finding âthe one.â Our clients hire us and engage our service due to our gaining access to a pool of candidates they wouldn’t have access to otherwise. On top of this, our scrupulous vetting process allows Linx to reach new standards of excellence in the business.