A Dozen Easy Date Ideas for April…

Blog written by: Linx staff member, Michael Norman

Now that days are getting longer and the clocks have sprung ahead, the Bay area is teeming with cheap and creative options for you and your next date. We’ve tried to find something to please every palate and every budget (actually, these are all free) so don’t be afraid to try something new; in fact, sharing new experiences is an important part of any healthy relationship. Even if you are without a date, head to these cool events and you never know who you will end up meeting! In fact, grab a friend and try all of these out, keeping an open mind and a fun attitude. Keep in mind that most of these are monthly (and sometimes weekly) events, so if April doesn’t work, May might be an option.

Tuesday, April 1st, hours vary: Be a Voyeur(or at least take in an exhibit or two)

Going to a museum is pretty standard early date fare; you can go at your own pace, find out things that interest each other, and follow it up with drinks/dinner/coffee… or even more. Thankfully, San Francisco is full of museums, and admission to some of the best happens to be free on the first Tuesday of every month. Check out the de Young , the SFMOMA, the Legion of Honor, the YBCA, and even the Conservatory of Flowers on the first day of April in 2014. And no, the free admission is not an April Fool’s joke.

Thursday, April 3rd, 6-10pm: Feed a Starving Artist (or just yourselves)

The Upper Polk/Tenderloin Art Walk takes place on the first Thursday evening of every month. More than a dozen galleries stay open late to participate in this mini-festival, and there are plenty of special events and food trucks to round out the experience.

Sunday, April 6th, 2pm: Visit the Gates of Hell (while keeping good company)

On the first Sunday of every month, you can take a free and guided tour of the Stanford University Outdoor Sculpture Collection. Artists include Claes Oldenburg, Richard Serra, and of course, Auguste Rodin.

Tuesday, April 8th, 6-9pm: War of the Words (Get ready for prattle)

Take part in the Radar Reading series at the Main Branch of the SF Public Library. The series focuses on upcoming and emerging local authors who write in a variety of styles. Hearing a piece in the author’s own voice can put any work in an entirely new perspective.

Saturday, April 12th, 10:30am: Expose Yourself to Some Art-chitecture

Have you ever wondered why Treasure Island looks so unlike the rest of San Francisco? Learn more about the lasting impact of architect Timothy Pflueger, and the his ideas behind the Art Deco structures that were the celebrated backbone of the Golden Gate Internation Exposition of 1939-40. We also have him to thank for some very outstanding local works by Diego Rivera.

Saturday, April 12th, 12-4pm: Get Your Hands Dirty (while doing a good deed)

Join the monthly volunteer work party at the ECO SF school farm, where the two of you can learn more about farming, ecology, sustainability while developing your green thumbs. All skill levels (and refreshments) are more than welcome.

Saturday, April 12th, 1-4pm: Get All Decked Out (but don’t go overboard)

Join the Cal Sailing Club for their monthly Open House, where you can get a free introductory sailing lesson. Quarterly memberships and lessons are cheap and available if you find yourself bitten by the sailing bug, but it all starts with getting (your feet) wet.

Wednesday, April 1th, 7:30-11pm: Spend a Night with the Gintelligentsia

This event isn’t actually free (it’s $8 per person), but Nerd Night at Rickshaw might be just your thing if you like hearing really smart people talk about their passions while consuming large amounts of ethanol. Recent topics included microbes, private space exploration, and what books to include in a library meant to survive beyond the end of civilization. Think and drink at the same time!

Thursday, April 17th, 5-8pm: A Different Take on Men’s Furnishings

The third Thursday of every month brings late hours at the SF Design Center, where you can shop for the furniture of your (or her) dreams while sipping on local wines and delectable edibles. You may want to stick with white wine, just in case you have to buy the couch if you stain it.

Thursday, April 17th, 7-10pm: Rate the Game, Date the Player

Every month, the Go Game Headquarters hosts an open “Sandbox” for developers of real world, real time games to test their newest logic and strategy creations on anyone willing to show up and play. Set up a friendly wager with your date, and help a fellow entrepreneur create their own kind of magic.

Wednesday, April 23rd, 7-9pm, Strive for Work-Life Balance (by walking a tightrope)

The Circus Center in San Francisco offers free monthly classes that give you the opportunity to ride a unicycle, learn to juggle, walk a tightrope, and practice myriad other circus skills. If you’ve ever been told you need more balance in your life, this might be the place for you. Clowning around may or may not be encouraged.

Saturday, April 26th, 11am-4pm: My Baby is a 10. We Dressing to the (Ca)nines

If the two of you need a double date with your dogs, or simply have one canine companion who’s tired of being a third wheel, the annual Dogfest in Duboce Park should be right up your alley. This is the biggest SF dog event of the year, so hang out with other dog owners while your own canine kid competes for Best Coat, Best Costume, and plenty of other high honors. Dogfest is also a great date opportunity for those of you who also have (human) children; there is face painting, a bouncy house, and plenty of other kid-friendly diversions. Beware: You might be tempted to add another member to your family, and volunteers in the Dog Rescue zone will be there to help you do just that.

Meeting the Parents

We get a lot of dating advice questions here at Linx each week. This one sticks out as a real dilemma many of us can relate to on some level. The scenario is you’ve been with your partner in a committed relationship for some time now and he/she is shying away from you meeting his/her family. Maybe he/she is only peeling a few onion layers back with you and anything deemed too serious like meeting family and friends has been a topic he/she has walked away from. At this point, it is starting to make you uncomfortable. What is he/she hiding and why is he/she being so private and reluctant about opening up this important part of his/her past and future?

I’d say anytime from 6-9 months is a pretty natural time to bring up discussions about being introduced to one another’s families. You need to lead with an open and very honest heart. Go in gentle and explain how you feel about him/her and how you are “in like”, “in love”, “in awe” with him/her. He/she means the world to you and even though you have only been together for (insert # of months), you feel that it is serious. As such, it is important for you to meet his/her family. You can express this to your partner without using big commitment terms like “when we get engaged” or “this is important for me before I get married.” If your partner is already uneasy, chances are that will make him/her even more nervous about something so serious.

Be easy and light in your approach but with a firm intention expressing your value system. You want to meet them, understand where he/she came from, and continue getting to know him/her on a deeper level. Study your partners reaction. Is he/she able to react in a positive way at all or has he/she retreated and ‘caved?’ If the later, back off. Chances are your partner has listened and heard you loud and clear. My advice (as sensitive as it is to you and important..and how it has probably been brewing inside your heart for some time now) is to not lash out or criticize.

It is now even more important to truly become a “student” of your relationship. You are seeing first hand how your partner handles conflict. This is clearly something he/she is not liking. Every couple faces crap. It is just a matter of how you effectively communicate it, address it, and tackle it together…as a team! 🙂

In a few days, see if he/she comes back to you with his/her ideas. Maybe no ideas about meeting your wishes of a “meet the parents” but another onion layer pulled back on some level (we hope…yes…no?!) It could very well be it simply is not the right time for your boyfriend/girlfriend to “go there” with you. It will be up to you if you can accept that and you will need to start asking yourself how much longer you are willing to wait.

No one likes timelines but relationships are about sacrifice and compromise. It is about listening to one another’s needs and desires. As painful as these observations and data can be, sometimes that person you are desperately in “like” “awe” “lust” or “love” with is not the long-term for you. The timing could be completely off for him/her and unfortunately he/she needs another few years before going down that road. There are no easy answers to this question but only you know how your heart feels. If something is tugging deep inside you, listen carefully and follow your heart. If your honey meets your request, now you can start packing, planning your perfect look, and making travel reservations.

We welcome your dating and relationship questions anytime. Send me an email to: amy@linxdating.com and I can assure you your question will be kept anonymous.

Create your own Endless Love | Relationship Advice

If you are experiencing a new budding love with someone special, have established exclusivity with your partner, are planning your wedding, or already married, it is essential to place a premium on a regular date night and make a habit of it.

We all live very busy lives- some much more chaotic than others. With hectic commutes, juggling business travel, finding time to exercise, carving out time to see friends and family and keep things happy in your relationship..it can all seem very overwhelming at times. When you add everything up in our lives, it can lead to general “noise.” Putting date night off yet another week can stir up problems later on.

Really ask yourself if you putting the necessary time, devotion, open communication, and support into your relationship. If you haven’t been calendaring date night, ask yourself what brought you both together in the first place? Slow down a little and get to that special place. Sit down with your honey and be proactive to discuss literally calendaring “date night” each week. Take turns planning date night. Keep in mind that date night does not need to be complex or fancy. In fact, too complicated and high-end, might make you both give up on being routine about this.

When planning your weekly date night, simplicity is best but do make a point to look good for your honey. Try a casual new restaurant in town, see a film and go for an ice cream stroll afterwards, cook together and open a great bottle of wine, or drive out to the scenic coastline and breath in the fresh air. My advice would be to *really* look forward to the ritual in this personal couples time each week. It is your special quality time and that with your partner- no one else, no distractions, nada!

According to “The Date Night Opportunity” report from the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, “couples who manage to devote time specifically to one another at least once a week are markedly more likely to enjoy high-quality relationships and lower divorce rates, compared to couples who do not devote as much couple time to one another.”

The study also shares, “couples who spend more time together also report higher levels of communication, sexual satisfaction and commitment. Weekly couple time also offers both married and unmarried, cohabiting couples a chance to de-stress.”

What is the MSRP of Love?

Blog written by: Linx staff member, Michael Norman
If you’ve ever considered hiring a matchmaker, you’ve probably asked yourself (or been asked by someone else) how valuable a fulfilling relationship might actually be to you. The very idea of a cost-benefit analysis on emotional intimacy seems clinical and counter-intuitive, but it turns out that you really can quantify the upside of being in a happy relationship. In fact, the team at Happify.com has done just that, along with giving us a quick and easy infographic that tells us A LOT about the communication styles of happy couples. How does your communication style measure up against that of these dynamic duos? Do your expectations about sex, communication, and intimacy align with what seems to be a recipe for romantic success?

Even as a single person, you can improve your outlook on life and your approach to intimacy to set yourself up for the best possible outcome in your next relationship; you can practice compromising, defusing tension with humor, and sharing new experiences with the people in your life right now, be they colleagues, friends, or family members. Everyone knows that even the best relationships take work, but it’s staggering to see just how valuable a happy relationship can be.

So what’s the value of a happy relationship? According to happify.com, it’s a surprising $105,000 per year, which makes your Linx membership seem like both a bargain AND a wise investment (we’re assuming that’s untaxed income, of course.) And for those of you on the fence about whether or not you should be investing more in your professional or personal lives right now, maybe you should ask yourself if your next promotion is likely to come with a six-figure raise.

For more information, check out the infographic here.

If you don’t have time to visit the site, you might still want to know that the happiest couples have sex 2-3 times a week, that they both have college degrees, and that in those couples (take note, ladies) the man is definitely employed.

And what is the science behind why people marry? Happify.com shares 93% of American couples share they married for ‘love’, while 87% said they married for ‘making a lifelong commitment’, 81% said ‘companionship’, 59% said ‘having children’, and 31% said ‘financial stability.’ So what’s your reason for desiring love and marriage?

The Sound….of Silence

Blog written by: Linx staff member, Michael Norman

Occasionally we get questions from Linx members about dating experiences and anxieties that are all too common, and we decided that it makes sense to answer those as part of a semi-regular column that addresses the real questions and concerns of Linx readers and members like you. This week we’re tackling the issue of “icebreakers” on a first date. Next week, who knows? Don’t be shy about submitting your own questions, dilemmas, and experiences; this blog has thousands of readers, so if you’re having a particular problem, the odds are good that someone else is, too.

This week, anonymous Linx member SayAnything? sent us the following question:

“Dear Amy,

I had been researching first date questions to start conversations and found article after article (and even books) with questions I would never ask anyone on a first date:

-“What is your earliest memory of feeling wonder?”

-“What do you think of the space program?”

-“If you had to write a limerick about this date, how would it go?”

Seriously? I wondered if the people that were writing these articles had ever heard the deafening silence bound to follow after asking such questions. It goes without saying that one would read as much topical news as possible before a date to be able to talk about innocuous things like Oscars, sports, etc. But can you really start a date conversation with, “How do you lose a 777?” without sounding callus? I weeded out work related questions, politics, dating past, and questions that had a negative connotation (i.e. what is your pet peeves?) but my list gets really small. What should I do?

Do you have any conversation starter suggestions? What question is best to ask when there is a lull? I wondered if you had written an article about this from your perspective (or someone on your staff)? Have you ever polled people from your Twitter as to their favorite question to start a date conversation?”

Answer:

Actually, we haven’t polled people on Twitter about their favorite first date questions, but what a great idea! Send us yours now (@linxdating) and we’ll update this later with results. In the meantime, here are some thoughts about the Do’s and Don’ts of good first date conversation.

It is really important to remember that while your first date is an opportunity to learn about another person, it is also an incredible opportunity to let your date learn things about you. That brings us to Rule #1:

Rule #1: Do not ask a question that you would not want to (or cannot) answer!

A good first date question is one that can be flipped. In other words, your date should be able to end his/her answer by saying “and what about you?” or “what are your picks?” or “where would you go?” If there are stories or things about yourself that you’d like to share, or topics with which you know you’re really comfortable, this is a great way to make sure you reveal those sides of yourself. If there are things about your life or past that you don’t really want to discuss, this also helps you stay out of that territory. You don’t need to have a script, but you should be prepared to have an answer to any question you would ask. I once spent twenty minutes describing my favorite books at the request of a date who then stonewalled me with “I don’t really read,” when I asked him his own question. Do not be that person.

Rule #2: Try to keep your questions in the present, and facing forward.

It is inevitable that two strangers will go through the standard questions about hometowns, colleges, family, and jobs, but make sure that you don’t dwell in the past. Remember that this is not an interview; it’s okay if there are a few gaps in someone’s CV or personal history. You do not need a complete timeline on the first date; what you do need is a sense of what his or her life looks like in the present, and what they enjoy and value now. Ask questions that give a sense of how well your date’s interests and outlooks might mesh with your own. Here’s a good example: if you love travel, instead of asking “Where did you last travel?” ask something like “If you could go anywhere next weekend where would you go, and why?” With that one question, you might find out that you’re with someone who prefers roadtrips to airlines, values family time more than adventure, or thinks one day in Paris is worth two days on a plane. What someone wants to do is almost always more telling than what they’ve done, which brings us to:

Rule #3: Be more concerned with thoughts and feelings than with facts.

Just as you don’t want to conduct an interview on a date, you also don’t want to play therapist (stay away from too many questions about someone’s childhood). You do, however, want to know what gets them excited and passionate, and keeps them engaged. Asking “what’s your favorite book?” might get you a very brief answer or the useless “it’s hard to pick a favorite,” but asking “What are three of your favorite books, and why?” can reveal an unexpected interest or hobby. It’s also great to ask about favorite experiences like “What happened on your favorite family vacation?” or “Can you remember the first thing that you cooked for yourself that you actually liked eating?” It’s more than okay to have periods of silence in a conversation, especially if they take place while one of you is composing a thoughtful answer. There is a difference between an occasional awkward silence and actual dead air. In fact, this brings us to:

Rule #4: It’s ok to be awkward.

No, it’s not ok to be intentionally awkward, and it’s definitely not ok if you feel like your date is purposely trying to make you uncomfortable. But it is really important to keep in mind that you are two strangers who just met; something is bound to be less than ideal. And actually, that’s great; you get the opportunity to see how your date responds in a less than ideal situation where the stakes are low, and no one is too invested. Don’t stress yourself out about asking all of the right questions. Just make sure that you have the right approach and the right attitude; be optimistic, be open, be compassionate, and listen. It turns out that the actual questions are a lot less important than the spirit in which you answer them. So, finally:

Rule #5: Be genuine.

The worst thing you can do on a date is misrepresent yourself. Don’t pretend to be interested in things that truly bore you. Don’t bring up topics you don’t want to discuss. Don’t be silent about your own likes and dislikes because you don’t want to be judged. Remember that, at heart, all Linx members are looking for the same thing – real and lasting human connections. So if you find yourself sitting across from a first date and neither of you knows what to say, start with the question that most single people would like to be asked more often; smile, take a deep breath, and open with “How was your day?”

Five Great Ways to Feed a (Spring) Fever…

Blog written by: Linx staff member, Michael Norman

Winter didn’t spend much time in the Bay Area this year, which means that Spring Fever has set in early, and with a vengeance. With summer wedding season ahead and spring BBQs and baseball games just around the corner, we have our hands full at Linx with eligible singles looking for their own “plus one” to attend all of life’s big (and small) events. At Linx, we believe that setting the tone for a good first date is one of the most important steps in developing a great relationship. Along with being open, positive, and confident when meeting someone for the first time, it can also be useful to step outside of your comfort zone, even if just a little bit.

We all have the tendency to want to impress others with things we already know and places we’ve already been, but diving into a new experience together can be very rewarding… and revealing. Not only does it put the two of you on equal footing, but it also removes the need to worry about how he or she responds to your favorite places and favorite foods. Building a relationship is about finding things that work for both of you, not just trying to fit another person into the already-existing patterns of your life. So for your next first date, try a new neighborhood, a new restaurant, a new cuisine… or get really crazy and try all three!

To give you some ideas, here are five great places in five different peninsula towns where you can get Linxed with good food and great company!

Iberia, Menlo Park
Step out of the Bay Area and into Barcelona with a trip to Iberia in Menlo Park. We recommend the coziness of the bar, where the tall and intimate booths make it easy to focus on getting to know your date. No matter what sort of mood you’re in, the extensive tapas menu is almost guaranteed to have something that suits your appetite. Amy loves sending people into the bar area near the fireplace to sit in the comfy club chairs and get into relaxation mode with a pitcher of Iberia’s delicious sangria and bite-size tapas.

Iberia also offers some fabulous sounding Spring cooking classes such as learning how to make paella while enjoying tapas, sangria, cooking, eating, and lively discussions with your fellow students. These classes really sound great! Sign up…educate yourself, break away from the daily grind, and mingle with the attendees. You just never know who you’ll meet while cooking hands-on and embracing everything about Andalucia Spanish cuisine (Andalucia is the southernmost region of Spain and where Iberia Chef Jose Luis was born.)

1026 Alma St, Menlo Park, CA 94025 Tel. (650) 325-8981

La Bodeguita del Medio, Palo Alto
Take a break from University and visit California Avenue to spice up your dining options in Palo Alto. While new establishments are popping up all over the place on this street, La Bodeguita has been a mainstay for many years, serving Cuban inspired cuisine since 1997. It may also be the only restaurant in town that actually encourages you to finish off your evening with a cigar.

463 S. California Ave, Palo Alto, CA 94306 Tel. (650) 326-7762

Los Altos Grill, Los Altos
You may be a little bit shocked the first time you walk into this suburban staple; it’s all log cabin from the outside, but the inside includes live music, an even livelier bar scene, and a 30+ crowd that’s typically dressed for a good time. The raised seating and spacious booths make it easy to focus on your date, but the crowd will give the two of you plenty to talk about.

We recommend kicking the night off with their delicious “dip duo” which is a great appetizer for two (a generous scoop of guacamole, side of cheese dip with pimentos sandwiched between warm torilla chips), the macho salad (warm roasted chicken mixed with goat cheese, homemade cornbread croutons, dates, avocado, with a tangy vinaigrette) and “the best” homemade Oreo cookie ice cream dessert- frankly the banana pie is amazing- ok everything is really good. Hungry yet? 😉 For those who don’t have a date- no worries at Los Altos Grill. This place is packed with an attractive set of eligible men and women eating and drinking solo at the bar. Find a bar stool and wedge yourself into a hoppin’ and friendly bar scene.

233 Third St, Los Altos, CA 94022 Tel. (650) 948-3524

Rangoon Ruby, San Carlos
You may already be familiar with their Palo Alto location, but get adventurous and take a drive to San Carlos for a night of Burmese food at Rangoon Ruby. If you haven’t been, downtown San Carlos is a delightful surprise on spring and summer evenings, with plenty of restaurants offering seating on the extra wide sidewalks, and a Thursday night farmers’ market that holds its own on the local scene.

680 Laurel St, San Carlos, CA 94070 Tel. (650) 592-1852 Palata appetizer at Rangoon Ruby

Vesta, Redwood City
Redwood City continues to develop as a destination for good restaurants and solid ambiance, and remains the only local downtown to support a (national) movie theater chain. With sleek decor, a healthy wine list, and a collection of small plates and inventive wood-fired pizzas, it’s a great place to raise a toast and break the ice on a first date.

2022 Broadway, Redwood City, CA 94063 Tel. (650) 362-5052 Handcrafted wood-fired Vesta pizza…delicious!

Date Coaching Testimonial

We recently had the pleasure of doing a third coaching session with a fantastic 30-something female in Silicon Valley. She bravely contacted me last summer and we have been working together to get her ready for the dating world. In this last session we all had a sort of “a ha” moment because it was so obvious in this last interactive session she “gets” all of the techniques we’ve been preaching. Before we all had that revelation of sorts, our client had simply not “activated” that part of her mind on. She gets how to flirt. She understands how to attract a man. She is a great conversationalist. With around 7 total hours of coaching, that ember is ignited in her core being and she’s ready to tackle dating on her own. Like we encourage our students to do…we hope she’ll report back on how she’s doing in a few months. Here’s what she said about working with Linx…

“Amy is a true joy to work with – she is truly passionate about what she does and it shows! She is extremely knowledgeable and intuitive, which made it seem like she had known me for years when we first met. I contacted Amy due to my shyness and struggles with dating. My dating perspective began to turn towards viewing it as a fun process to get to know myself and what I as a person have to offer in addition to getting excited about making connections with other people. Working with Amy is an opportunity for personal growth, not just matchmaking, and I would highly recommend her to anyone from all walks of life!” – Anonymous

Basketball Date? | Need One Fun Female for March 22nd Event

Ladies…ping me if you have interest in your name being being thrown in the hat for yet another fun and random opportunity. Our client has awesome courtside seats for the Golden State Warriors vs. San Antonio Spurs game on March 22nd at the ORACLE Arena in Oakland. He’s a really great client of ours who has these amazing opportunities all the time.

We are looking for women who are under 45, playful & fun, and knows a thing or two about her local NBA team (or at least is up for a totally fun night with a great guy having some drinks, food, and a fun Saturday night!)

You do not need to be a client for this…

Email: amy@linxdating.com if you’re interested.

March at Linx

A quick post to wish everyone a great upcoming week! This week we have a lot of matches to be made, client meetings, and some fun very creative projects to work on. Our new fab intern Michael will be back in the office after his trip back East and we will continue to pound the pavement matching our clients to one another and doing some really important recruiting as well.
Gorgeous Spring flowers surprised me in the office a couple of days ago- thank you very much for them…you know who you are! We are still recruiting top candidates for the Spring cocktail party so please email me if you’re interested. Have a wonderful week all. XO

Style in Silicon Valley …

Linx is featured in Business Insider today: Silicon Valley’s Top Matchmaker Tells Us What Techies Should Wear On A Date by Madeline Stone.

Silicon Valley professionals get a bad rap for being uncreative when it comes to personal style. The common stereotype is that engineers live in hoodies, jeans, and flip flops, while venture capitalists constantly rock fleece vests and v-neck sweaters.

Menlo Park-based matchmaker Amy Andersen has seen her fair share of young professionals sporting these uniforms. She founded Linx Dating in 2000 when she saw that a surprising number of professionals were having trouble navigating the Silicon Valley dating scene. Since then, she’s coached a wide network of people in the tech, financial, and health care industries to better position themselves for success in dating.

Andersen shared her take on style in Silicon Valley as well as some tips for what young professionals should be wearing to impress their dates.

Q: Business Insider: Do you think there’s a Silicon Valley dress code?

A: Amy Andersen: There is a definite Silicon Valley aesthetic and culture. The mentality is you want to fit in here and you don’t want to stand out. Employees want to blend into their company culture. I have heard stories about people taking jobs at Facebook, as an example and, before the job started, dying her hair to be a mousy brunette so as not to stand out too much as a platinum blonde.

With the kinds of perks that Google or Facebook or Palantir, for example, offer to employees, it is easy to see why an employee on the margin might stay at work rather than venture out and would certainly not focus on fashion. The goal is to work and stay on the company campus, while having some fun too. If you think about it, the culture at these companies for 20- and even early 30-somethings is not unlike the dorm experience at a top university — project teams bond over what they do all day. It’s more about living to work than it is about working to live, and so you do everything together. The movie “The Internship” might have been fiction and was probably a bit exaggerated but it was pretty much on target.

In Silicon Valley, in the fields of tech and engineering, there’s no focus on outward appearance unless you have a client-facing role, like in leadership or sales. In that case, you are expected to be polished and dress the part.

Expression outside of the campus environment is totally different — techies and those in those circles express themselves through a variety of ways to their inner sanctum of friends. This could be through the new Italian wheels in their garage at home, artwork displayed on their walls, recently purchased memberships at private social clubs like The Battery in San Francisco, or epic new multimillion dollar pied-a-terres in San Francisco.

BI: Is the clichéd hoodie a reality in the tech community?

AA: For many, hoodies are a way of life in the tech community, as fleece vests are a way of life in the venture capital and hedge fund community. I see a ton of guys (and girls) walking around town in their respective company hoodies. Let’s not just focus on hoodies though! Tons of guys wear frog feet shoes “5 finger footwear.” They say it is good for posture. I think they’re completely hideous and a huge fashion offense!

The Adidas black and white sneakers are very popular, and backpacks are a way of life here as well. The ironic thing is most all of the major fashion houses for women are using backpacks for Spring 2014 as part of their look for women — not a Jansport backpack but more Chanel, Louis Vuitton, or Chloe. This pic of Gerard Butler shows off his Adidas kicks but actually is a good example of the type of cute long sleeve shirt and cargo pants that look great on guys for casual day sorts of dates or a super chill/lax pm date (i.e., if you are seeing a flick, dive bar drinks….that sort of environment).

BI: How often are wardrobe consultations part of your coaching?

AA: A few times a month. Some clients hire me to do this for them and other times I match the client to the right stylist according to their budget and personality. I have a roster of great stylists for every type of person that contacts me.

BI: What kinds of things do you tell your clients as far as dressing better?

AA: First impressions are so important. If you are coming from work, do what it takes to put your best foot forward and freshen up. No one likes a sweaty, frazzled date! Women will often put a lot of time and thought into their first date outfit. It is not uncommon for her to get a manicure, maybe even buy a new dress. A woman doesn’t need a guy to look impeccable, but she does want him to look presentable … “Nice” could be a pressed dress shirt and nice pair of dark denim, brown belt, nice brown loafers or dress shirt and pair of Banana Republic khakis. This is not hard to achieve and will send a signal that a man is taking the early stages of dating seriously.

BI: What should guys wear out on a date?

AA: This is all situational and depends on the context of the date. It also depends on the person largely. If going for sushi and cocktails, throw on dark denim, a cool t-shirt, and unstructured blazer for a little bit of an edgy look. If you are reading this and saying, “Huh?” then do dark denim and a Rag & Bone basic long-sleeve t-shirt with the right shoes. That is definitely more Silicon Valley code for casual, yet on the right guy and body could look totally hot. If it’s a more dressy date, I would suggest a nice pair of slacks and dress shirt or fantastic blazer paired with dark denim, gorgeous loafers (or drivers), and a dress shirt with cuff links. Totally polished, put together, and making a stand-out impression.

BI: What should women be wearing out on a date?

AA: Like advice I would give to men, let’s start with being confident. Once you are there, rock it out and have fun with your clothing. What men tell me they find appealing is a woman who is confident and sexy in her own skin.

At Linx I get a lot of demands for a woman who is classic, ladylike, stylish, not trying too hard, not showing too much skin, but perfectly presentable. For better or for worse, men are impossibly visual creatures. A universal message is that men like a woman who accentuates her figure. Olivia Palermo and fashion stylist, event designer, and style writer, Lucas Somoza

What does that mean from a style perspective? Think more Olivia Palermo than Pamela Anderson. For a casual to more dressy date, do a pair of skinny pants, a great silk tank style top, an edgy leather jacket (so hot for Spring 2014), the right costume jewelry, and some nude pumps. If it’s a fancy sort of restaurant and you want to seal the deal, do a body hugging Herve Leger bandage dress paired with a great blazer, hair in a loose bun atop the head or at the nape of the neck, and statement heels.

BI: Why is style important to dating more effectively?

AA: I would say style and first impressions are important considering people generally make up their mind in the first 60 seconds if they are interested in getting to know you better romantically or not. Why not do everything you can to substantially increase your odds of success from the start?